Seeking Love or Peddling Deceit?

BY STEVEN CHAN

It has been estimated some 17 million American men are traveling to distant lands hoping to find women who, they say, possess femininity, old-world values and are happy to show appreciation and kindness rather than the attitude of, ‘What have you done for me lately?’

By various accounts, the blame lies squarely on the women’s movement, specifically radical feminism, with trends indicating a devaluation of males in modern-day society.

Frustration has stewed for years within these wild adventurers, claiming they’ve grown weary in attempts to meet unrealistic expectations of the opposite sex. Dealing with incessant competition for attention, they spend hoards of personal treasure to win acceptance, only to feel their relationships were temporary until another suitor made a better offer.

It’s a sensitive subject to broach, but here it is; American women are voicing concern—and anger, about the increased interest their counterparts show in searching for potential brides overseas, ostensibly to relocate them to the US and start families. And, while you might wish to shoot the messenger as he explains the severity and staggering numbers of men estimated to be traveling worldwide—seeking companionship; more importantly, should be the concern of how the loss of the opposite sex may affect women’s health, economics, and social scales into the future. Equally alarming to many young women, who never expected this type of competition, are their current prospects, which have been dwindling yearly and are diving again.

The massive relocation of eligible bachelors has become loosely organized while expanding. With this rise in comradery comes #passportbros, and it’s kicking it, with over 420 million people viewing what appears to be a lifestyle bludgeoning with parties, romps, and scenes out of what once was reserved for the Playboy mansion!

It’s been said by those taking the plunge and headed to South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia; it’s easier and more pleasant to meet and date women abroad because they weren’t brought up with all the trappings or influences enjoyed by those who “seem to want to use or punish us!”

In May of this year, a ‘passport bro’ named Abeyta totaled nearly 1.7 million views when he posted his observations and personal understanding of why men are deserting the dating scene in the US.

He claims it’s easy to date anywhere outside the States; foreign women are raised differently and find American men interesting—even intriguing. They are fascinated with the American accents, the fictitious but widespread belief that everyone in the US is rich, and believe that if they are lucky enough to get married, they too will dance on streets of gold.

Such rumors, accentuated through social media and films, have heightened the desire of millions of women to enter into relationships with foreigners, and behold the new American Dream.

Contributing to the stereotype is a strong dollar. If you have the luxury of working remotely and earning an average salary, the power of your paycheck outside of the US is twice what it would be here; hence, you are ‘rich’ by oversea standards.

The cost of living is a far cry from anywhere these new casanovas hail from, allowing them to perform as if they own a ‘money tree;’ all they need to do is shake it occasionally. Without a doubt, this too, is found to be attractive.

While the thought of a lifestyle change might have some packing their bags, it is fraught with danger and crime.

Many of those looking for love might not have considered that not all countries are as welcoming as we are. In some cases, Americans are seen as infiltrators and con artists; they fly in, covered in glitter and gold, spending money on a new crop of potential mates, leaving the local men unable to compete with the new boy toys.

Conflict can quickly escalate, and while laws and their enforcement have worsened here, wait until those targeted overseas get a taste of what legal protection looks like for non-citizens. With language barriers and contempt for what might be viewed as predatory actions, caution is advised, moderating behavior and keeping attuned with local customs and expectations.

Upon inspection of comments on websites specifically addressing those traveling for hooking up and little else, they advise men to be wary of mistreatment or disrespect of the women they meet. Many of these playboys locate within a safety net provided by the touristy metro areas of these countries, but those off the beaten path, miles from populated cities, often find themselves highly vulnerable.

Regardless, there are expectations— just like at home— if you use a woman strictly for sex and quickly move on to the next, what may shock you is the number of brothers and male friends the young lady has and what unthinkable acts they will perform on you in retaliation for your disdain.

IT’S SOMETHING TO CONSIDER.

Another problem is using International Dating Sites for ‘meet & greets.’ Filled with empty promises of meeting the woman of your dreams, they’re plagued with corruption. And while the connection between singles might appear real, often resulting in chatting followed by an expectation of meeting, in reality, these introductions result in expensive journeys to no-show dates offering no recourse.

Scams proliferate and are maintained by unsuspecting and lonely hearts begging for crumbs of love, so much so it has been referenced as a cottage industry, especially in the Baltic states.

A WORD OF CAUTION.

Stories and tales are floated about American citizens marrying women from foreign lands resulting in a panacea of life. Initially, the union appears to be blessed with the expectation of foreverness.

However, the process—which is complicated—of acclimating a new wife into a new culture and processing through the necessary steps to garner her a green card (the authorization to reside and work in the US legally) can become a test of loyalty.

Countless women have reached the finish line, only to desert their spouses, taking their share of valuables and cash they convinced their new husbands to put into their names. Or worse, they meet the five-year statute to complete an overseas marriage, then file for divorce, and once citizenship is approved, they are awarded half of the estate.

Either way, the unexpected outcome is traumatic, life-changing, and expensive.

Ultimately, it’s impossible to predict the validity of these relationships. Sure, many find their soulmates, and happiness abounds, but lurking in the back of minds is the enticement citizenship offers to those who have watched their families for generations struggle with poverty and lost opportunities.

May the buyer, a.k.a. lover, beware; there are no implied warranties or guarantees when searching for a relationship, and there never will be. H