They are
ENGLISH BULLDOGS A
Penney
Karen Sturtevant
colleague recently acquired an English bulldog puppy. I immediately like him (the colleague, that is)–the pup was a given. I begged my way into meeting the little duffer. As I awaited the day, the subject of these interesting canines had me thinking about the allure of English bulldogs. What makes them special? They are slow walking, swaying medical nightmares. They drool. Their food (free of corn, wheat, and soy) often has to be special ordered, their prescriptions compounded. An innocent sneeze on Tuesday could be life-threatening pneumonia by Thursday. You have the vet on speed dial, and the staff knows you by voice. They are stubborn. They know what they want, when they want. Drinking water becomes a five- star alarm with dish cloths at the ready. They start the day at 4 a.m. by barking and getting fed only to have the dawn made sweeter by the early morning nap taken after said feeding. You cannot go back to bed. They do–often. They need daily cleanings between their skin folds with nontoxic anti- fungal wipes as they are prone to yeast infections. Their noses need coconut oil to keep moisturized, their nails trimmed weekly and medicated baths given several times a month to stave off infection, allergy and bacterial growth. They are not in a hurry and heaven help you if you are. They slobber. They burp and pass gas. Inflamed hot spots typically develop due to excess itching or licking. Would you know how to treat them? Ear and eye infections, too, are common. Preventative care will save both pain and trips to the vet’s office. Pet insurance is highly recommended.
The unique, stocky, tough-dog physique is both attraction to and deterrent from ownership. Overfeeding mouths lead to overweight bodies putting unnecessary pressure on already-sensitive joints. They are English bulldogs. They’ve (or have they?) come a long way from the days of the 18th century when they were used for the blood sport of bull baiting, pinning the massive beast to the ground. Once longer, taller with actual almost-muzzles, the dog would freely breathe, walk without pain and lead an almost canine carefree existence. We humans, in our ultimate know-it-all superior wisdom fond of achieving God-like aesthetics, decided we wanted a shorter, stouter, more compact dog. While we’re at it, let’s move the nose and mouth back so it’s nearly impossible for breath to enter and cool before entering their bodies, making them extremely heart intolerant. By shrinking their naris (nostrils) to pin tips in the indelible goal of making a dog, not a dog, we did it. Meet the English bulldog. Unlike any other dog breed, the wrinkly, smushy-faced English bulldog has more challenges than your typical canine companion. Why spend an extra hour before the sun rises to feed, clean and prepare them for the day? Why spend holidays and weekends at the vet’s office? We English bulldog owners are certifiably insane; we like being broke and are a little off kilter. In our world, English bulldogs reign. The rule our roost. They have stolen our bank accounts and hearts simultaneously. We barely notice because we’re blinded by love with this pure-in-heart dog. It takes a grounded person to claim successful bulldog ownership. Have I mentioned
budgeting for a special diet of canned and dry food diet for life? Wake up to find your bulldog’s right eye squinty and runny? Off to the optometrist with a fist full of money at the ready just for the privilege of walking in a 24-hour emergency clinic. What about surgery to correct cherry eye, dry eye, corneal ulcers or entropion? Then off to the compounding pharmacy for 14 days of medication. Come home to find an entire bag of doggie vitamins ingested by a very guilty- looking face? Off to the emergency vet for two days in the pure oxygen tank. Get out the credit card and cancel that tropical vacation. Are you ready? For prospective English bulldog parents, do your homework, and then do more. Find a veterinarian experienced in English bulldog care. They truly are stubborn canine aliens. Talk to current and previous owners. Be realistic. This is life altering. Even the most judicious of owners can miss cries for help, for signs of pain and illness. Bulldogs are stoic creatures. Procuring any puppy or dog ‘because it’s so cute,’ is never a reason. Consider adopting to give a bulldog a second or third chance. According to www.pibblesandbits. com, the English bulldog has long been a popular breed of dog ranking fifth overall according to the AKC. How many of these dogs end up surrendered or dumped due to uneducated owners? I spent a great deal of time at a local
Lord Basil dining at The Meltdown in Barre
8 4 Legs & a Tail
Spring 2022
