NEWS,CULTURE & ENTERTAINMENT
MAGAZINE
VOLUME 20
ure: t a e F l a i c Spe bering
News & t: n e m n i a t r e t n E ovana
Remem Lost Those We
G Shenseea & nz Spragga Be rling Yvonne Ste
Out & About:
er Gemini Takeov Irie-Vibez Out & Stunting
Featured Fashion Little Miss Chelle
In This Issue:
S Kiki Perry SB An Interview with g Warrior Kin
Culture:
Ebony Payne-English
check out itunes, ALBUM “Kuongoza” spotify or on Tidal
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k Contents Featured Artist................. 6
Food Facts......................... 14
Featured Fashion............. 7
Island Humour.................. 15
Afro-Caribbean Culture... 8
Puzzle................................ 17
News/Entertainment....... 9
Health & Wellness............ 19
Out and About ................ 12
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Note from the editor: Yardvibez Magazine is a print publication that focuses on Afro-Caribbean news, culture, fashion and entertainment. We want to thank our readers for the love and support for the magazine. We are expanding to different communities worldwide and have some great new features for this year. Chanel F.
CEO/Editor........................... Chanel (Ms vibez) Designer.............................. Susan H Contributing Photographers... Nyka Photography Ras One Promotions.......................... Yardvibez Promotion Nottyhead Promotion Contributing Writers............ Jaton R, Ebony Payne English
Remembering Those We Lost
2020 has been a challenging year for everyone. We also lost many legends in 2020. Although we can’t name everyone we would like to pay tribute to a few of the ones we lost last year. Yardvibez Magazine sends condolences to everyone who has lost someone in 2020. Dancehall legend Sister Charmaine passed away January 15, 2021. She was credited with being
Kobi Bryant
John Lewis (far right)
one of the first female deejays to use more vulgar lyrics and was considered a pioneer when it came to holding her own on stage.
She was considered one of the best among her peers when it came to freestyle. Her most remembered freestyle performance was in 1989 when she triumphed over Lady G, Patra, and Lady P at Sting. The year before, she appeared alongside Lady Mackerel and Junie Rank. Her career began at an early age, and at just 17-years-old she had a hit single called “Glammity,” which got some airplay and eventually made its way onto some of the local charts in Jamaica. Jamaica was still very much conservative then, and the song was considered not fit for airplay. Sister Charmaine, whose real name is Charmaine McKenzie, did not shy away from a challenge and often clashed with male deejays as her career progressed. She was known for tracks like “Hol A Rest,” “Community Girl,” “Hol A Kuff,” and “Wake Up.” She eventually moved to New York in 1990. She was 54 years old at the time of her death today and is survived by her daughter, Kadisha, and a granddaughter. Our condolences go out to her family.
Keith ‘Bob Andy’ Anderson Veteran reggae vocalist and prolific songwriter Keith ‘Bob Andy’ Anderson answered
a higher calling in March after a battle with cancer. He left an enduring musical legacy, both as a solo artiste and as part of the duo Bob and Marcia (Griffiths). Numbered among his greatest hits are the classic I’ve Got to Go Back Home and Fire Burning. My Boy Lollipop singer Millie Small made headlines across the world when Island Records founder Chris Blackwell announced her death from a stroke in May. Small is credited with introducing the world to ska with her smash hit My Boy Lollipop. Billboard took a journey through their archives to recall Small’s successes: “ My Boy Lollipop peaked at No. 2 on the Hot 100 (chart dated July 4, 1964). Another of her hits, Sweet William , peaked at No. 40 on the September 5, 1964-dated chart. Her album My Boy Lollipop also peaked at No. 132 on the Billboard 200 on August 29, 1964.”
Dobby Dobson Best known for his hit “I’m a Loving Pauper,” he was a significant figure in the evolution of
Jamaican music.
Legendary Reggae Singer Toots Hibbert, Frontman of the Maytals He formed the first version of the Maytals in the early 1960s. Over the following 10 years the group recorded with a series of producers that reads like a reggae hall of fame: Coxsone Dodd, Prince Buster, Byron Lee, Leslie Kong — and reeled off Hibbert compositions like “Bam Bam,” “Sweet and Dandy” and “54-46 That’s My Number,” which was inspired by a mid-‘60s prison term he served for marijuana possession. He was a contemporary and friend of Bob Marley’s, and for several years both were signed to Island Records. Also in 1972, Hibbert appeared in the groundbreaking film “The Harder They Come,” which starred Jimmy Cliff. His 1969 song “Pressure Drop” was featured on the film’s soundtrack and was covered by the Clash in 1978, introducing Hibbert to thousands of new listeners. A seemingly permanent presence in reggae music, Hibbert continued to tour and record through the decades, appearing on Willie Nelson’s 2005 album “Countryman” and covering Radiohead’s “Let Down” for a collection of reggae Radiohead covers.
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Chadwick Boseman He more than just an actor. When he died in August at the young age of 43, it felt like the world had lost one of the most outstanding cinematic talents of his era. Boseman came to prominence playing real-life figures - baseball great Jackie Robinson in 2013’s 42, and soul singer James Brown in 2014’s Get on Up.However, it will be as the titular Black Panther in the blockbuster 2018 film he will be best remembered.
Cicely Tyson .Cicely Tyson, the stage, screen and television actress whose vivid portrayals of strong African-American women shattered racial stereotypes in the dramatic arts of the 1970s, propelling her to stardom and fame as an exemplar for civil rights Actor Tommy “Tiny” Lister died Dec. 10 at the age of 62. Lister was most famously known for his notable role as “Deebo” in “Friday,” where he re-imagined the trope of the neighborhood bully in modern comedies. Bruce Boynton, an important but often forgotten figure of the civil rights movement died Nov. 23 at the age of 83. While enrolled at Howard University during his final year of law school Boynton was arrested in Richmond, Virginia after he refused to exit a “whitesonly” section of a bus station restaurant. Boynton, along with his then-attorney, Thurgood Marshall, would go on to spark a series of events that eventually overturned the Jim Crow laws across the country and inspired the Freedom Riders movement. Betty Wright, the award-winning R&B soul singer whose signature song went on to become a sampling standard in hip-hop music, died May 9. She was 66 years old. Wright, whose cause of death was not immediately reported, had a career that spanned decades and evolved from its gospel roots to rhythm and blues to pop, the latter of which won her a pair of Grammy Awards.
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YV: These times have been difficult for everyone. On your social media pages it appears you are still remaining positive. As an artist how has it been trying to stay positive and focus on music during these difficult times?
Little Miss Chelle
Little Miss Chelle is an online children’s clothing boutique created by Michelle Wilson. Inspired by dressy and casual pieces she would of worn when she was a little girl. Little Miss Chelle offers an assortment of clothing and accessories for babies, toddlers, and little girls.
Warrior King: Music is my life and I have committed my entire life to being a beacon of positiveness. Im a singer, artist and musician so whether difficult times or good times I have to be strong and keep positive and focus on the people because I’m a leader and a leader needs to lead by example and being positive no matter what the situation or what the circumstances is what i try to exemplify to all ppl who follow and support me. My music, my vibe, my vibration and my journey. The teachings of HIS Majesty and the exemplary life that HIS Majesty set that has empowered me along with my wife and the good ppl around, my family and some of my mentors are the things that keep me grounded and positive and just to be alive to see the next day. keep me positive because a lot of people went through a lot of tribulations. w/ the pandemic affecting everyone you have to stay positive because that’s my duty as a messenger of Jah to keep positive. That’s just me. I’m a light to the world. I’m always happy, always optimistic so i just try to be that so i can inspire others
Michelle was born and raised in Falmouth, Jamaica. She has always had a desire to design. At a very young age, she started designing and making clothes for her dolls and the rest is history. Michelle eventually relocated to the US. There she attended college and graduated with a Bachelors degree in Fashion Marketing and Design. She then decided to continue her education and obtained a Masters degree in Marketing.
YV: Its been over 20 years since the release of the album “Virtuous Woman” which features many fans favorites. How does it feel reaching that milestone? Warrior King: It’s a wonderful feeling and time really flies because sometimes even some of the upcoming artists or people call me legend and some positive attitude they use to describe me is really touching. Sometimes I really check the journey and say wow 20 years has fly so fast. It’s a great feeling and it’s good to be an example. At the end of the day I am very proud of my journey and all of my contribution I have made in music thus far and I know the best is yet to come. It’s a wonderful feeling to know I reach this milestone. It’s a blessing. All praises to the most high, Rastafari. YV: The content in the song “One Perfect Love” seems to describe a lot of what we are facing today. What made you release this song and what does it mean to you now as we try to move past the pandemic? (Continued on page 18
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www.littlemisschelle.com
3 Featured Fashion
f Featured Artist
An Interview with Warrior King
Jaymi Mester
Over the years, she has worked with numerous corporate retailers and has become a successful entrepreneur in the world of eCommerce, design, and marketing. “I give all the glory and thanks to God for allowing me to do what I love. All that I’ve been able to do and accomplish is because of Him.” - Michelle L. Wilson Layla Zozio
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The wind is my mother The air bends to her will The trees curtsy at the sight of her regalia The sand storms her feet and offers security She carries ocean on her breeze She blows in a direction I cannot follow at times Expanding herself wide and encompassing I have witnessed first hand her power Seen her anger topple a tower Her globetrotting gusts are the origin of my wanderlust Great minds of old have yet to grasp the gist of her existence I listen to her churn outside my window I never learned to whistle I have always been inherently clumsy I was not gifted her gracefulness I was contrarily granted her propensity to carry things I bury things inside of me deep It often impedes my sleep When I weep the wind chimes outside my home reminding me that I am never alone How I long to be as massive as my mother How small I feel when she tsunamis my name We are the same she tells me I do not gain the confidence she aims to instill with that statement She flurries me with patience Greatness requires gestation The wind does not speak in laymen’s www.ebonypayneenglish.com Too afraid she may lose me in translation IG & Twitter is @EbonyOshun photos were taken by Olabode “Odd Rod” Borisade
Shenseea & Govana Earns Top Honors In Dancehall In 2020, Koffee Dropped Biggest Song SHENSEEA If there was a word to describe 2020 when it comes to entertainment, we might go with the words of Spice, who said she didn’t make any money in 2020 due to the pandemic causing the industry to lock down and losing J$26.1 Billion in revenue. Things in Jamaica officially locked down in March 2020 as news spread that the covid-19 virus was deadly and highly contagious, and almost 10 months later, there is no ending in sight as yet. The unique nature of the Jamaican entertainment industry, in particular, has placed the livelihood of many in the industry in a precarious position. Unlike the United States Recording industry, where artists depend on streams and sales, Jamaican artistes rely on tours and live performances locally and abroad. When things locked down, forcing a ban on events and gatherings, the primary sources of income for artistes were cut. However, the challenges have not stopped those who are high performers as they pivoted to manage the new hardships. Instead of focusing on what was lost, many took to the studios to produce and release good music as they focused on streaming. Although some events moved online like Verzuz, Reggae Sumfest, Reggae Sunsplash, and various live corporate events, including Friday parring with Coppershot Music and other local DJs. Among those being recognized as consistent performers are Shenseea and Govana, who pulled off the Female and Male Entertainer of the Year awards respectively by the Jamaica Gleaner’s 2020 Year in Review.
q News/Entertainment
f Afro-Caribbean Culture
“The Wind is my Mother”
GOVANA
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NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT
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Spragga Benz Says Script For “Shottas 2” Ready, Shoots Video
Remembering Reggae Legend Yvonne Sterling
Spragga Benz says he has the script for Shottas 2 ready. Social media users have seemingly caught the Shottas bug following images of its two main stars, Ky-Mani Marley and Spragga Benz, floating around social media. Shottas the movie was written and directed by Cess Silvera and released in 2002. Popular Jamaican radio station Zip 103 FM recently confirmed that Richie Effs and Micheal Wekerle are also involved in the workings of what will be the sequel. Effs is known primarily for his work with Silvera for the original film as well as being the associated producer for 2017’s A Miami Love Story. The Canadian television personality Wekerle is best known for his work on the Shark Tank inspired Dragons’ Den and 2019’s Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series. Spragga Benz recently confirmed via Instagram that he currently has a “fifty-seven page script” for Shottas 2. Shottas was filmed in Jamaica and Miami and included the star-studded cast of Paul Campbell as “Mad Max,” the late Louie Rankin as “Teddy Bruck Shut,” Macka Diamond, Agent Sasco formerly Assassin as “Blacka”, Wyclef Jean as “Richie Effs,” DJ Khaled as “Richie’s henchman,” Flippa Mafia as “John John,” “Spragga Benz as “Wayne,” and Marley as “Biggs.” The gritty crime-drama tells the tale of two young men who grew up in the streets of Kingston. Their love for money would eventually lead them down a path of crime and violence from a very tender age. The money garnered from robbing a soda truck eventually fuels their efforts to the States. Once there, they continue their shady practices, eventually rising to top-level roles in the criminal underworld. Wayne and Max would be deported back to Jamaica, where they continued their criminal activities. Their activities led them back to Florida to face-off against “Teddy Bruck Shut” and his associates. The graphic depiction of violence, strong Jamaican accent, and banging dancehall/reggae soundtrack has resulted in the movie being deemed a cult classic. It should be interesting to see how well the chemistry flows between the old cast members. Quite a few persons are curious about the role Spragga Benz will play in the sequel since his character was supposedly killed in action.
Yvonne
rose to fame in the 1970s with her own songs and collaborations with reggae artists like Dennis Brown. She is most known for her rendition of “If You Love Me,” Oh Jah and There’s a Reward which was sung alongside Dennis Brown. Her music has made her popular in places like Brazil. Unfortunately, despite her success, she was living in poverty. Her struggles were further compounded when the outer bands of Hurricane Eta lashed the island late last year and flooded her home. Things started looking up for the songbird when DJ Waldiney, a Brazillian DJ, and Jamaican entertainers Little Lenny and Richie Stephens offered assistance. The trio was able to raise funds in Brazil via a benefits concert as Yvonne is very well loved in Brazil. Yvonne was given capital and since news of her situation went public, a new place to call home as a result of the assistance. The songstress released a song recently featuring Little Lenny and Richie Stephens called Thank You Lord. The visuals were released on YouTube Boxing Day 2020 and has racked up over 60k views. The song was heavily requested in Brazil. In an interview Yvonne did with the Gleaner that was released Christmas Eve last year, she spoke about how happy music makes her. She said, “The happiest time in my life really is when I am working in the studio or when I am onstage doing live performances. So these things happening to me now, it’s going to make a big difference in my life, I am not just thinking about the money that I will earn, but I am saying my whole life will be happier.” Unfortunately her comeback interview was her very last. She passed away January 18, 2021. Yvonne will be truly missed and we can only imagine what greatness would have emerged from her if she was still here with us. Condolences to family, friends, and fans.
As for the recent images of Spragga and Ky-Mani, it turns out their link was also to facilitate the shooting of a brand new music video.
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(Continued on page 16)
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nOut AND About
GEMINI TAKEOVER- DVIBEZ BDAY
IRIE VIBES REGGAE SHOW JAX, FL
OUT & STUNTING JAX, FL
OUT & STUNTING JAX, FL 12
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the COVID-19 Pandemic Support your physical and mental wellbeing with healthy eating We are living during difficult times because of the coronavirus pandemic. Those challenges can affect us both physically and emotionally. It’s hard to keep the same routine when you have to physically distance from others, especially if you’re at higher risk of getting really sick from the virus. That makes preparing meals a special challenge. Here are some tips that can support you and your household both physically and mentally: Do your best to eat nourishing meals, like those rich in fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains. Those foods can help keep your body and mind healthy during stressful times. Cut down on foods that can ramp up anxiety, such as sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. It’s important to enjoy small treats, but avoid going overboard. Try to limit excessive consumption of sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Overindulging can lead to increased anxiety or sluggishness. Feeling the urge to “stress snack”? Acknowledge your cravings, then take two or three deep breaths and ask yourself if you’re really hungry or just passing the time. Having daily schedules and routines can ease anxieties and help you stay grounded. This applies to meals, too! Try to eat at regular meal times and avoid snacking in between. We are what we eat.
Weh yuh have me money A totally naked woman rushed into a taxi. The taxi driver turned and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, “Why yuh a stare pon mi suh, a fuss yuh a si woman naked?” The taxi driver replied, “No but mi just a wonda a weh yuh have mi money.”
Bwoy ... Go Get Yuh Moddah A boy and his father from the Caribbean were visiting America for the first time. The first time they went to a mall, they were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slideback together again. The boy asked, “Ah whahdat, daddy?” The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, “Son, minevah see notting so inna mi life! Mi nuh know what it is!” While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 19-year-old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, says quietly to his son, “Bwoy... Go get yuh moddah!”
f BUSS AH LAFF
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How Long Before I Can Get A Haircut? A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says, “About 3 hours.” The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About an hour and half.” The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, “Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn’t come back.” A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, “Bill, where did he go when he left here?” Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, “Your house!”
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NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT (Continued from page 11)
j PUZZLE
Women’s Hall of Fame Honors Aretha Franklin, Morrison, Lacks “Queen of Soul” Aretha Franklin and Nobel laureate and “Beloved” author Toni Morrison will be inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame Thursday as part of a posthumous class of Black honorees that also includes Henrietta Lacks, whose cells were widely used in biomedical research; Barbara Hillary, the first Black woman to travel to both the North and South Poles, and civil rights activists Barbara Rose Johns Powell and Mary Church Terrell. The National Women’s Hall of Fame was founded in 1969 in Seneca Falls, the site of the first women’s rights convention. Franklin had dozens of hits over a half-century and her signature song, “Respect,” has stood as a cultural icon. She won 18 Grammy awards and, in 1987, became the first woman inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Franklin died of pancreatic cancer at her home in Detroit in 2018. She was 76. Morrison helped raise American multiculturalism to the world stage. She was nearly 40 when her first novel, “The Bluest Eye,” was published. After just six novels, Morrison in 1993 became the first Black woman to receive the Nobel literature prize, earning praise from the Swedish academy for her “visionary force.” In 2012, President Barack Obama awarded Morrison a Presidential Medal of Freedom. She was 88 years old when she died last year. The case of Henrietta Lacks was the subject of a bestselling 2010 book and a 2017 HBO film. It began when researchers took a sample of cancer cells without her permission while she was under anesthesia and found they could be grown indefinitely. The so-called “HeLa” cells became crucial for understanding viruses, cancer treatments, in vitro fertilization and development of vaccines, including the polio vaccine. She died in 1951 at just 31. The adventurer Hillary became fascinated with travel after retiring from a nursing career. She was 75 years old when she became the first Black woman to set foot on the North Pole, and stood on the South Pole five years later. She died at 88 in 2019. Johns Powell was 16 years old in 1951, when she led a student strike for equal education at R.R. Moton High School in Farmville, Virginia. The students’ cause gained the support of NAACP lawyers, who filed a lawsuit that would become one of the five cases that the U.S. Supreme Court reviewed in Brown v. Board of Education. The high court’s landmark 1954 decision declared “separate but equal” public schools unconstitutional. Johns Powell died at 56 in 1991. Born during the Civil War, Terrell was a dedicated suffragist whose civil rights activism continued up until her death in 1954 at the age of 90.
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Terrell was the first Black woman in the United States appointed to the school board of a major city, the District of Columbia. She was a founding member and the first president of the National Association of Colored Women and was a charter member of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and the Colored Women’s League of Washington.
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Local Artist
Artist Kiki Perry SBS Kiki Perry SBS (Soul Blue Sista) is a singer, songwriter with an angelic sound that flows freely as she turns her emotions into a beautiful melody. Kiki was born in Macon Georgia and raised in Jacksonville, Florida where she currently lives with her family. She is the mother of two girls and shares her passion of creating with her daughters. She has performed in musicals, recitals and shared the stage with YMCM recording artist PJ Morton. As she continues to grow and perfect her craft, Kiki writes beautiful heartfelt love stories with a soulful touch. She volunteers as a diversity LOUD leader with OneJax of the University of North Jacksonville. During this time of the year along with many other pioneers of the community, they take the time to allow peace and love to be the center of spreading diversity to the high school age group. Kiki Perry SBS has recently released her first Single “Thinking of you” that is now available on all major platforms.
kiki perry sbs
KIKIPERRYSBS
f Health & Wellness
The Cozmic Essentials Story The Road to a Better You Cozmic Essentials was founded in 2010 located in Jacksonville Florida in order to provide comprehensive services that support and foster the health of our customers. We offer a variety of treatments, classes and services to improve and help you maintain your optimal health. We love working with clients from all walks of life who all share the common goal of bettering their mind, body, and soul. Whether you are experiencing pain or simply want to improve your physical health and mental fitness, Cozmic Essentials provides the resources and tools to do so in a healing and friendly environment. Learn more about us by getting in touch with a member of our team today. www.cozmicessentials.com
FEATURED ARTIST
(Continued from page 6)
Warrior King: One perfect love is a powerful song. Simple message but it’s a powerful song. Simple but effective. The reason we release this song is because everywhere I turn through the media and the whole pandemic everything was problems everywhere, war and confusion. I just wanted to come up with something different. I didn’t want to even talk about the problems but the solution and knowing the love of the most high brings comfort and assurance and good trod over evil and that’s why I release the song. I know people that are rooted and grounded in their faith will overcome this pandemic. As Bob Marley said “Nobody can’t stop the time and prophecy has to be fulfilled”. We have to assure the people once you put your faith in the most high there’s no obstacle so great you can’t overcome. I’m very confident we have a brighter future and brighter days to come. Jah love is perfect. One perfect love is the love of the most high YV: How do you feel about where reggae and dancehall is today and do you think with the rise in crime and violence worldwide more artist should release more uplifting music? Warrior King: :I’m feeling good about the music in terms of like through social media music has reached the four corners of the earth. Not really liking some of the lyrical content to be honest because more positive music should be coming out of Jamaica because Jamaica and Ethiopia is the lighthouse of the world. I think it’s our duty and responsibility as singers and place of instrument to produce songs that are lifting and empowering especially with the crime, violence and war that’s going on around the world. I’m confident that music makes an impact because I listen to music from the time of Bob Marley & Dennis Brown and all those songs. Those songs
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inspired me to the faith of Rastafari. I know music, words and songs empower. Music can create and destroy so we as singers I think we should channel our talent and energy in praising Jah and doing his holy works and that is comforting the people, guiding the people, uplift the people, inspiring the people and giving the people hope especially in these trying times. With all the violence and crime I think music can make a difference. I watch on the news the other day about a 20 yr old girl getting raped and sometime when u listen to the music the way how the artist in Jamaica especially in the dancehall areana speak about women and how the women speak about dem self like sex obejects. It’s really sad all those things create a certain type of mindset in people’s mind sey you have certain behavior. I think if the music and energy of music was channeled in a positive way you will have a big difference in the world today that we live in. Imagine if every Jamaican artist whether dancehall or reggae, rasta or baldhead ah sing positive music you can imagine what kind of change and positive impact it would cause in the world. YV: .Although many things/places are limited right now, What can you fans look forward to seeing from Warrior King in 2021? Warrior King: Although things are limited it doesn’t stop I and I from doing Jah works. The fans can look out for a new project. I have a new song coming out called African love with a beautiful and powerful singer from Ghana. Her name is Ms. Vee. We did a collaboration and it comes out April 9th. It’s a beautiful song. People can look out for more music and a lot of visuals with Warrior King. More positive music and more good vibes. The Warrior King Foundation will be doing a lot more charities and helping out a lot more people in need fulfilling the creed of Rastafari.
Mental Health During a Pandemic According to Mayo Clinic the COVID-19 pandemic has likely brought many changes to how you live your life, and with it uncertainty, altered daily routines, financial pressures and social isolation. You may worry about getting sick, how long the pandemic will last, whether you’ll lose your job, and what the future will bring. Information overload, rumors and misinformation can make your life feel out of control and make it unclear what to do. During the COVID-19 pandemic, you may experience stress, anxiety, fear, sadness and loneliness. And mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression, can worsen. Surveys show a major increase in the number of U.S. adults who report symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression during the pandemic, compared with surveys before the pandemic. Some people have increased their use of alcohol or drugs, thinking that can help them cope with their fears about the pandemic. In reality, using these substances can worsen anxiety and depression. People with substance use disorders, notably those addicted to tobacco or opioids, are likely to have worse outcomes if they get COVID-19. That’s because these addictions can harm lung function and weaken the immune system, causing chronic conditions such as heart disease and lung disease, which increase the risk of serious complications from COVID-19. For all of these reasons, it’s important to learn self-care strategies and get the care you need to help you cope. Self-care strategies are good for your mental and physical health and can help you take charge of your life. Take care of your body and your mind and connect with others to benefit your mental health If you’re feeling suicidal or thinking of hurting yourself, seek help. Contact your primary care provider or a mental health professional. Or call a suicide hotline. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or use its webchat at suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat. (Continued on page 21)
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HEALTH & WELLNESS
(Continued from page 19)
Mental Health experience its ok getting help by Jaton Robinson
Hello I’m Jaton. I am 30, married with two children. I am very proud of myself for making it to 30. No one knows that my suicidal thought started at 9 years old and that day I was very confused. That morning I was getting ready for school, I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I got stuck looking at myself and it felt like I was talking to myself. I felt scared like bad things were being mumbled and didn’t know the words, it just felt bad. I blacked out and my Mother said she only checked on me because I was taking too long to get ready. That day is what I like to say: I met HER. I refer to my depression and suicidal thoughts as her/she, in the third person. I could not understand why I was feeling down some days, to not wanting to live other days and then I would be ok, very happy, playful, and fun. Yes, there were things going on in my life at that time, but I don’t remember why those things would make me feel so dark. I couldn’t tell anyone because I didn’t know how to talk about her. There were some times where I felt safe to tell my Grandmother and my aunt Nikki when I felt sad or missed people or when I had questions about why I can’t see my mom and dad at the same time. But I could never say what came along with me feeling sad; a lot came with it.
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After just fighting on my own, I learned how to feel up and down, then just let it all pass by. A lot went on as years passed by and a lot of situations. Moving back and forth. Never having the same friends or school. And in between all those things I had to also deal with her. So, let me introduce her. She is very dark and uncontrollable, but she makes me feel like I need her. When she wants her way, she gets it, I have no say so. It is kind of like she puts me to sleep just to go run wild. I was about 17 when I started to ask myself what’s wrong, who is she and why me. I did not know anything about mental health. I did not see it within my family. I never heard anyone say, “I’m depressed”. What I saw and heard were events that happened. Horrible things, all the family drama and sadness every family goes through. But what you will not hear in a black family is how they felt or dealt with that trauma. It was always strength. Pick your head up. Don’t let “them” she you cry. Do not let what you go through make you WEAK. Now at the age 30, I’ve come to realized that weakness is ok. Blacks families will never say that though. Black families are made from strength only. We had to be strong, we had to stick together no matter how much we may fight. These rules go back hundreds of years. Our ancestors overcame the unthinkable. They had to be so strong in hope of one day being free. And black families nowadays have twisted what that strength means. We think that it means being weak within our families is not ok. To the enemy yes. We should not have to put on a show that we are always strong. We should be able to tell and express to each other, within our families that we feel down, weak, and depressed, we should be working out trauma. We should be able show weakness to those we love. When I was around 17 or 18 things started to get so bad, she had become so strong. So many events had happened, and she gained strength every time something happened to me. I started to pay more attention to her. My research on mental health started because of others. I think my mom noticed first; I had now been with my mom permanently for about 4 years now. Maybe she was paying more attention to me over the years. She started this thing where she gave each mood a name (Jaton, Pumpkin, Tawny and Princess). So, each morning she would ask me “who are we today”. Because of that I started to wonder what this was, who is she? I researched mood change, that’s when I ran into Bipolar Disorder. I learned that there’s a few types of Bipolar Disorder. All though I was still not in control of her, when I was back at the surface and feeling normal, I would search. I learned the different types and I self-diagnosed as Bipolar 2. The mood changes, how long she last and the thoughts she makes me think. I researched how I felt when I’m up and in control: I felt amazing. It felt so great. I could exercise, go on dates with my son, focus on life changes and me going back to school. She hated that. As time went by, I started to become tired of fighting her. The suicidal thoughts, the self-sabotage, thinking about how to commit suicide. I realized that I could combat her when I thought about my son, I didn’t want anyone else raising him. His future was the rope that pulled me back up, every time. The relationship I have with him is something I cannot explain, I am protective of him because I need him. He is what helps me win when I must fight her. Because I was protective of him, I started to look for therapy. My first therapist told me I seem Bipolar, I stopped seeing a therapist. My second one told me I may be bipolar, I stopped seeing her. My third said the same, and guess what? I stopped seeing that therapist. That was her way of convincing me that I need her. This lasted so long, so many years of her waking up and taking over. When she was not around, it was amazing. It was such a high for me. I got things done, I was creative, I was able to talk to others. My brain was amazing on these highs, thoughts going 100 per minute. I felt free to be me, I was so loving and caring. I was concerned about my wellbeing. These highs were just what I needed and what I wanted to be. But these highs were also dangerous. Mania seems great, but is also not a good thing, because it does not allow you to think rationally. (Continued on page 22
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(Continued from page 21)
Things became scary about 2 years into my relationship with my now life partner. I did so good hiding her. But at 2 years in she arrived very forcefully, I was very scared to tell my wife. I told her when we started to date that I may be Bipolar, but I (her) did not want the help or the medication. My Wife was the one to ask me what it was that I was going through, and I had to confess I was depressed. She was the one that told me getting help is ok, acknowledging mental health was ok. She was the first black person to tell me that. My mom knew what I was going through by naming my moods, but she never told me I need help. She made things seem like it was ok. Finally, a black person was telling me that people have mental issues and it is ok to talk about it and get help. This is when she started to fight hard again. She was so strong, I really felt bad that my wife had to meet her. For the next 2 years she became something I could not explain. I started to verbally abuse my wife, I really put her through things that I am not proud of. I don’t know how my wife stayed by my side; I really do not. Everything just became dark; I was so suicidal and so distant. I could not fight her, I just couldn’t anymore, she drowned me completely…. I wanted to die so bad. Me, the normal me. I gave up, I was defeated. I was tired. Every time I tried to fight her off it made me tired. She started to stay longer than 3-4 days, she started to control how I was parenting and the partner I was. She wanted started to only want death, depression was not enough for her. She kept telling me that I wanted to die, and I was too tired to argue with her. One day I sat at my desk at work. First, I wrote Rashad a goodbye note on a back of a picture of me and him that was at my desk. I wrote my wife a long letter about how thankful I was for her and her sharing a wonderful daughter with me. I left Rashad’s note at my desk, knowing that someone would notice it and eventually give it to him. My wife’s note I left in my work bag and would only put it where she would find it when I was ready to go. I was just waiting for her to return and just let her have her way. I told my self to take it slow I was still scared. I took one pill at a time. Before I got to the tenth or so pill, my wife text me telling me that one of her close friends just died. The me that loved life came back really quick. I told myself she can not come home to me dead, the same day. I told my wife what I was doing, I guess she called 911 before heading home. I was on a 72-hour hold, then spent another 3 days at a mental hospital. I felt like I won. I let myself be diagnosed and given medication. She did not win. It has been 1 ½ years since that event (I think) and I have progressed so much. I am proud to say yes, I am Bipolar 2. I have become ok explaining who she is, and what she was like and how EVIL she was. Yes, sometimes she tries to say hello, I call it sweet talking me. Sometimes she almost gets her way and may be able to get me for a day or 2. Even the Mania has balanced out; I feel so in control of my own life. I am still the only afro American person that I know talks about their mental health (that I know). I can look at my family and tell I am not the only one. Me and my mother have talked, and I am convinced that she is also Bipolar, but she still won’t acknowledge it. She is just very supportive of my issue. I try to tell family members that it is ok to feel weak sometimes. I want our community to welcome mental health and not fear it. We need each other’s experiences so that we can become one. Sometimes I will do a mental health post on how I am feeling, in hope that people relate and open up. I’m waiting for more of our people to be open, and that has happened. Our community is now talking out loud about depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I hope that my little story helps even more express themselves. I have decided to continue my story. My life matters to me now. I hope that if anyone does read this it helps. Life happens and you can not control what takes place, but you can seek help. I could not control what I went through since I was 9, all I can do now is open up about it all and continue to be open. It has been a long road and I want to live and love for many, many more years to come! I am Jaton, I’m 30 years old married, with two children and I am Bipolar.
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