2019-2020 Four Square Curriculum

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CURRICULUM 2019-2020


Resources for Siblings from 99 Balloons

by


A Note from 99 Balloons

I N T RO

Sibling Coordinators— 99 Balloons has officially implemented Four Square, our sibling curriculum, which complements rEcess quite well. rEcess is a holistic model of ministry that seeks to minister to every member of the family experiencing disability. Four Square is an optional program designed to help sibs express the highs and lows of being a sibling. We hope you’ll think through a way to weave the Four Square curriculum into your rEcess night! Our rEcess siblings long to build relationships with peers that understand their role as a sibling of a child with special needs. The term “Glass Child” is used to describe siblings of children with special needs. It refers to the fact that siblings are often “seen through” by their parents, relatives, or neighbors due to the high needs of their sibling with special needs. At Four Square, you will intentionally seek to see them, listen to them, and remind them of God’s unique calling on their life as a sib. Many siblings have shared the reality of enmeshing their own self-worth or identity with their sibling experiencing disability or their overwhelming home life. Four Square provides a way for you to come alongside of the sibs and encourage them find their individuality- not apart from their sibling but aside from their sibling. Siblings long

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to be heard, long to connect, and long for a safe community with whom they can process their life as a sib. You may have to ask them multiple times how they are doing, but we implore you to lean in and listen. If their answer focuses on their sibling, press in, ask them how THEY are doing, and give them the time and space needed to share. We believe siblings are often the unsung heroes of any family experiencing disability. They are some of the most compassionate, driven, empathetic, patient, and accepting individuals. We know that many siblings will eventually be a piece of the long-term care solution for their adult sibling with disability; with that in mind, we can begin to help them shape a healthy viewpoint toward this reality that will benefit both them and their sibling for a lifetime. You have the privilege of playing a small role in shaping siblings’ understanding of who they are, replacing lies with truth, and celebrating their life. We hope you choose to implement the Four Square curriculum into your rEcess night! Thankful for you!

Rebecca Wall Programs Director, 99 Balloons


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Tips & Best Practices

+ FOUR SQUARE LEADERS

We recommend having someone from your leadership team and/or a faithful volunteer committed to lead Four Square. We suggest having a consistent group of Four Square volunteers to help execute the activities. If possible, we think it is ideal to have a volunteer who is a sibling on this leadership team. If not, find a volunteer who excels at engaging with children in conversations and facilitating fun!

+ TIME

We suggest pulling your older siblings for 45-60 minutes during rEcess. We think a great time to do this is during large group. This is an easy time for older siblings to sneak away to Four Square and return in time to watch the movie.

+ AGE

We recommend that Four Square include siblings above the age of eight. We have experiences the most success with older siblings because of their maturity and ability to participate in the planned activities. However, this age limit is flexible and can be decided by the leadership team.

In order to serve siblings well, please use this curriculum as a guide. There is complete freedom with this program, but we have done our best to provide ideas and games for you as a starting point for Four Square. Each of the activities provided is purposeful and designed for siblings.

+ POWS & WOWS

We recommend starting your time together with Pows & Wows. It is a great way to have siblings share about their week and get to know one another.

+ GROUP GAME

We think games bring laughter, connection, and provide memories for our siblings. This is a specific time where they can let loose and enjoy being a kid!

+ SIBS CHAT

This is a specific and intentional time for sibs to chat about what it is like to be a sibling to their brother or sister experiencing disability. We have provided two questions for you to ask each sibling in order to start the conversation. As always, be flexible and allow for encouraging and organic conversations!

+ INTENTIONAL ACTIVITY

We have suggested an intentional activity that will facilitate conversations and provide another outlet for siblings to express the highs and lows of being a sib.

If you have questions or would like help implementing Four Square, contact Rebecca Wall at rebecca@99balloons.org.

I N T RO

Four Square is a designated time for siblings to gather together to have fun, connect, and encourage one another. We have designed Four Square to be a small part of rEcess while still allowing sibs to participate in all that night has to offer. As you consider implementing Four Square, there are several things we have learned over the years that we would love to share with you!


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Monthly Materials List ++ Chairs ++ Poster board ++ Spinner If you do not have one, you can make one using a paperclip and pencil ++ Markers

OCTOBER

++ Mini powdered sugar donuts ++ String ++ “If I Could Tell” worksheet ++ Pens

NOVEMBER

MARCH

++ Chairs ++ “Interview a Sib” worksheet ++ Pen

APRIL

++ Index cards ++ Bowl or bag ++ Large (24”x36”) white construction paper ++ Watercolors in multiple colors ++ Brushes ++ Small cups for water

MAY

++ Marshmallows ++ Post-it notes ++ 2 pieces of paper (or poster board) ++ Pens

++ Paper ++ Pens ++ Markers, crayons, or pencils ++ Envelopes ++ Stamps

DECEMBER

BONUS

JANUARY

On the use of food:

++ List of “Sit Down If” statements ++ 1 pair of dice

++ Chairs ++ Music Use a phone or CD player to play different songs ++ “Let’s Celebrate Me!” worksheet ++ Pens

FEBRUARY

Pre-make “My Other Half” cards for each child ++ Post-it notes ++ 2 pieces of paper ++ Pens

++ Pre-written questions ++ Rope

It is our general rEcess policy not to feed any kids at a rEcess event. However, some of the games in our Four Square curriculum include food. If you choose to use the games involving food, please make sure to separate the Four Square area from the rEcess area. Please be aware of any food allergies for siblings participating in these activities.

I N T RO

SEPTEMBER


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SEPTEMBER

I N T RO

September


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September Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game

Over the Mountain Materials Chairs

I wish people weren’t afraid to ask about my sibling or my experience being a sibling to someone with a disability. It is my biggest pride and joy and my favorite role in my life. My brother is my favorite topic to discuss and favorite person to share about. He is one of the main influences in my life that has permanently altered me as a human being, for the better. There is no fear in asking about someone’s world and someone’s experience. There is no wrong way to ask questions, and there is no way to offend me by asking about my sibling. He is my best friend, and I would love to share about him. ABBY ANN WILLIAMS WITH CHANDLER

Instructions 1. Have everyone sit in a chair in a circle. Note: As the leader, you will not have a chair and will stand in the center of the circle. 2. The person standing in the middle of the circle will say, “Over the mountain if….” and finish the sentence. 3. If the statement is true for the participants, they will get up and find a new chair. However, they cannot go to the chair directly next to them. 4. The last person to find a chair will be the person in the middle and will start the next round. 5. Repeat and have fun! Examples: ++ Over the mountain if you had cereal this morning. ++ Over the mountain if your sibling with a disability is older than you. ++ Over the mountain if you have been to the beach.

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themselves by stating their name and their siblings name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What is something that you have in common with your sibling? ++ What is something that is different about you and your sibling?

Intentional Sibling Activity Emotion Wheel

Materials ++ Poster board ++ Spinner If you do not have one, you can make one using a paperclip & pencil ++ Markers Instructions 1. Draw a large circle and divide it into eighths. 2. Label each section with a different emotion/ feeling. Options: Joy, Embarrassed, Stressed, Anxious, Angry, Loved, Jealousy, Ignored, Misunderstood, Surprised. 3. Each sibling will spin and tell a story about when they have felt that emotion. It can relate to having a sibling or it can be simply about them. 4. Continue to take turns playing until time is up! 5. Remind siblings that feelings are always real, and everyone experiences every feeling. They change all of the time, and it is always good to talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

SEPTEMBER

Pows & Wows


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O C TO B E R

October


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October Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game

Donut on a String Materials ++ Mini powdered sugar donuts ++ String Instructions 1. Tie each donut to a string. 2. Assign partners. 3. One partner will lie down with their mouth open. 4. The other partner will stand over them holding the string with their mouth. 5. They will attempt to feed the donut to the person lying on the ground. 6. Have the partners switch places and play again!

The best part about being a sibling to someone with special needs is being able to approach anyone with a certain level of genuineness and compassion that not many people can provide to others in need. HUNTER CORMAN WITH CHRIS

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themselves by stating their name and their siblings name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What is something you wonder about your sibling? ++ What is your relationship like with your sibling?

Intentional Sibling Activity “If I Could Tell”

Materials ++ “If I Could Tell” worksheet Available at www.recesshub.com ++ Pens Instructions 1. Explain to the siblings how to complete the worksheet. 2. Once completed, allow each sib to stand up and read their answer. 3. Clap and cheer after each sib reads!

O C TO B E R

Pows & Wows


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N OV E M B E R

November


November Activities

N OV E M B E R

Pows & Wows

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game Chubby Bunny

Materials ++ Marshmallows Instructions 1. Select 2 to 3 people to go at a time. 2. The person will put a few marshmallows in their mouth and try to say “Chubby Bunny” without spitting out any marshmallows. 3. One at a time, the participant will put more marshmallows into their mouth and say “Chubby Bunny” again. 4. Repeat these steps until the sibling(s) cannot say “Chubby Bunny” clearly. 5. Choose 2 to 3 more siblings to give it a try and start the process over.

Sibs Chat I wish people knew the struggle it is to be a sibling, and in my case, I have two siblings with special needs. However, I wouldn’t trade this reality for anything in the world because it has made me who I am. It has brought me so much joy to see my brothers succeed in their own ways! I’ve seen both of my brothers grow and learn. Every experience brings me joy because I know they both have fought against many odds! JUANITA POSADA WITH GABRIEL AND JUAN

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themselves by stating their name and their siblings name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ How do you feel when your sibling receives more attention than you from your parents, friends, or strangers? ++ Have you ever talked to your parents about how this makes you feel?

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Intentional Sibling Activity Double Dreams

Materials ++ Post-it notes ++ 2 pieces of paper (or poster board) ++ Pens Instructions 1. Write “Dreams for Me” and “Dreams for My Sib” on the two pieces of paper. 2. Tape them to the wall. 3. Pass out post-it notes and a pen to each sibling. 4. Have them write down their dreams. They will put the dreams for themselves in the column labeled “Dreams for Me.” They will put the dreams for their sibling in the column labeled “Dreams for My Sib.” 5. Once everyone has put their dreams on the wall, read them aloud. Some siblings may want to read their entries and some might rather have you read them. 6. Celebrate everyone’s dreams and chat about how to make them happen!

N OV E M B E R

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D EC E M B E R

N OV E M B E R

December


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December Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game Sit Down If

Materials ++ List of “Sit Down If” statements Example Statements ++ You brushed your teeth this morning. ++ You have traveled outside of your state. ++ Pizza is your favorite food. ++ You are the oldest in your family. ++ You have never broken a bone. ++ You were born in the month of May. ++ You have a dog. ++ You have ridden a horse.

The best part about being a sibling is the trust and

Instructions 1. Have all of the siblings start the game standing. 2. The leader of the game will make a statement. If it is true, the sibling will need to sit down. 3. Continue the game until one person is left.

security. Evan helped me to be who I am. I had no fear of judgement around him. We developed a brotherhood that built each other up to be strong separately. Through your role, you have the chance to bring joy, security, and encouragement to countless individuals. Honor families like mine by pouring all of your attention and care into this opportunity with siblings. MATT MCKEEVER AND EVAN

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themselves by stating their name and their siblings name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What is the best thing about having a sibling with special needs? ++ Tell us a story of when your sibling made you laugh.

Intentional Sibling Activity Roll & Share

Materials ++ 1 pair of dice Instructions 1. You will have 6 questions written down that correspond to each number on the cube. 2. Have the sibs take turns rolling the die. 3. Whatever number the die lands on, have the sib share their answer to that question. 4. Continue the game until time is up! Possible Questions ++ What is your favorite thing to do with your family at Christmas? ++ What is something you love to do with your sibling? ++ How do you help your family? ++ What is something good that has happened to you recently? ++ How can you love your sibling well this month? ++ What is your favorite Christmas treat?

D EC E M B E R

Pows & Wows


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JA N UA RY

D EC E M B E R

January


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January Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game Musical Chairs

Materials ++ Chairs ++ Music Phone or CD player to play different songs

One thing I wish people knew about being a sibling is that the path is not the same for everyone. Some mature at a much faster rate because of the care that having a sibling requires. Some show their need for more by acting out to get attention. I think the one thing that’s universal the need for someone to love them and listen to them. They need someone to validate everything they are feeling, but also speak truth into their lives. CHLOE HARTMAN WITH BRADY AND JAYCE

Instructions 1. The chairs are set up in a circle with the seats facing the outside. Make sure to have one chair less than the number of players. 2. Play the music while the kids walk around the outside of the circle. 3. When the music stops, the players race to sit in the available chairs. 4. The player left standing is taken out of the game. 5. The players all stand again and a chair is removed. 6. Repeat until you have a winner!

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themselves by stating their name and their siblings name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ How do you help your sibling? ++ How does your sibling help you?

Intentional Sibling Activity Let’s Celebrate Me!

Materials ++ “Let’s Celebrate Me!” worksheet Available at www.recesshub.com ++ Pens Instructions 1. Explain to the siblings how to complete the worksheet. 2. Once completed, allow each sib to stand up and read their answer. 3. Clap and cheer after each sib reads!

JA N UA RY

Pows & Wows


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FE B RUA RY

JA N UA RY

February


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February Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game My Other Half

Materials ++ Pre-made “My Other Half” cards for each child Instructions 1. Think of some famous pairs to write on two cards. 2. Each child will receive one card. 3. Without talking, the kids will go around and find their match. 4. Give them a few minutes to hang out and chat. 5. You can have another set of cards (or mix them up) and play again.

As a sib, I began to believe that I was less important than my brother. I would be talking to my parents, and they would ignore me because they were tending to my brother’s needs. I often didn’t feel cared for or listened to. This impacts me to this day in all of my friendships and in my relationship with my parents. My mom often felt drained and overworked, and as a result she didn’t always have the margin to pour into me. Because of this, I never felt like I could talk to my mom about how I was feeling. I desperately needed someone to fill that void for me. Sibs need support. They need help talking about what they’re going through. They need help talking about disabilities and what God is doing through them as a sib.

AMANDA STRUBLE WITH ADAM

Example Pairs ++ Peanut Butter & Jelly ++ Umbrella & Rain Boots ++ Adam & Eve ++ Socks & Shoes ++ Toothbrush & Toothpaste

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themselves by stating their name and their siblings name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ Has anyone ever said anything unkind about your sibling? ++ How did that make you feel?

Intentional Sibling Activity Love Bug

Materials ++ Post-it notes ++ 2 pieces of paper ++ Pens Instructions 1. Write “I Love My Sib because...” and “Things My Sib Does That Bug Me” on the two pieces of paper. 2. Tape them to the wall. 3. Pass out post-it notes and a pen to each sibling. 4. Have them write down as many answers to the questions as possible. They will put their post it notes in the correct column. 5. Once everyone has put their answer on the wall, read them aloud. Some siblings may want to read their entries and some might rather have you read them out loud. 6. Talk about the reality of their struggles and allow them to share freely. Remind them that ALL siblings bug one another regardless of their ability.

FE B RUA RY

Pows & Wows


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M A RC H

FE B RUA RY

March


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March Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game Simon Says

Instructions 1. The leader of the game will be “Simon.” 2. Simon will give commands to the group. However, the players must only obey commands that begin with the words “Simon Says.” If any player(s) obey any commands that do not begin with the word “Simon Says,” that player(s) will be out of the game. 3. Continuing playing until only one player is left. The winner gets to be the next Simon. 4. Keep playing “Simon Says” until time is up!

Sibs Chat

Having a brother with Down Syndrome has taught me the importance of seeing people, not by their diagnosis, but seeing the value of their hearts. Caleb has not only impacted the way I view people, but also the way I view success. The world tells us what is and what isn’t considered achievement, but I have learned that success looks different for everyone. It’s finding joy in the little victories that the world needs to be reminded of. CLAIRE COOPER AND CALEB

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themself by stating their name and their sibling’s name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What is your favorite way to help your sibling? ++ Do your parents have expectations of you in regards to the care of your sibling?

Intentional Sibling Activity Interview a Sib

Materials ++ “Interview A Sib worksheet” Available at www.recesshub.com ++ Pen Instructions 1. Explain the worksheet to the siblings. 2. They will pick a partner to interview. 3. Once completed, allow them each to stand up and read about their friend. 4. Clap and cheer after each sib reads! Celebrate them!

M A RC H

Pows & Wows


39 — APRIL

April


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April Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game Charades

Materials ++ Index cards ++ Bowl or bag Instructions 1. Make game cards and put them in a bowl or bag. 2. Have the first person draw a card and act out the word on the card without speaking or pointing. 3. The person who correctly guesses the word will draw the next card. 4. Continue until you run out of cards.

As a sibling, you subtly learn lessons while growing up that you’ll always carry with you. I learned to always have a selfless attitude, to put others’ needs before mine, and to care for others’ needs and well-being. Also, I learned how simple things in life can truly bring so much joy. My sister has lived a very hard and challenging life, but she’s really lived a joy-filled life. She finds joy in simple things in life, loves to laugh, loves great food, and loves being around great people. Being a sibling is not a burden, it’s a true blessing! CHARLEY HART WITH KAYLA AND FAMILY

Charade Ideas: ++ Dog ++ Bumblebee ++ Diving board ++ Band Aid ++ Flower ++ Postman ++ Pastor ++ Basketball ++ Snake ++ Sunscreen

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themself by stating their name and their sibling’s name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What brings you the most joy about being a sibling? ++ Is there anything that makes you sad about being a sibling? Activities continued on next page

APRIL

Pows & Wows


April Activities (Continued)

APRIL

Intentional Sibling Activity Paint Your Emotions

Materials ++ Large (24”x36”) white construction paper ++ Watercolors in multiple colors ++ Brushes ++ Small Cups for Water Instructions 1. Pre-fold construction paper into 8 squares. 2. Make a sign to show which emotions corresponds to which color: ++ ++ ++ ++ ++ ++ ++

Blue - Sad Yellow - Happy Red - Love Black - Angry Orange - Excitement Green - Jealous Purple - Anxious/Stressed

43 — M AY

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Questions ++ How do you feel when your sibling wants to play with you? ++ How do you feel about having friends over to your house while your sibling is home? ++ How do you feel about eating at a restaurant with your sibling? ++ How do you feel when you see your sibling do something that is against the rules? ++ How do you feel when your parents give their attention to your sibling? ++ How do you feel about having a sibling with special needs? ++ How do you feel when someone gives your sibling a weird look or says something that is not true about them? ++ How do you feel when your sibling decides to join a game or activity that you are playing alone?

3. Have the kids number the boxes 1-8. 4. Ask the questions provided. Depending on the emotion the child feels in response to the question, the child will choose the color of paint to use that corresponds with their emotion.

May


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May Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game

Two Truths and a Lie Materials ++ Paper ++ Pens Instructions 1. Every sib writes down two things that are true about them and one thing that is a lie. 2. Have the sibs go around the circle and read their pieces of paper. Once they read their two truths and a lie, the group will vote on which statement is the lie. 3. The sibling will reveal which statement was a lie. 4. Repeat until every sib has shared.

Being a sibling, you get a front row seat to someone who experiences all the feelings on an entirely different level. I love watching movies with Sarah! She connects to the characters on-screen in a way that most people often don’t experience. Also, I feel like I am more sensitive to people and situations because Sarah is my sister. She’s taught me to truly enjoy life! DAVE MARVIN WITH SARAH

Example ++ Truth: I have never gone to the beach. ++ Truth: I do not like root beer. ++ Lie: I have never broken a bone.

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themself by stating their name and their sibling’s name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What are you excited to do with your family this summer? ++ What is something you are looking forward to this summer aside from your family?

Intentional Sibling Activity Letter to a Sib

Materials ++ Paper ++ Markers/Crayons/Pencils ++ Envelopes ++ Stamps Instructions 1. Have each sibling write a note and/or draw a picture for their sibling. Encourage them to remind their sibling why they love them, what they see in them, and share with them why they are special. 2. Put completed letter in an envelope. If the sibling is able, have them address their envelope and stamp it. 3. Collect letters and mail mid-summer.

M AY

Pows & Wows


47 — BONUS

Bonus


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Bonus Activities Have the siblings sit in a circle. Go around the circle and have each person share their favorite and least favorite thing about their week.

Group Game

Over the Mountain Materials ++ Chairs

Regardless of the ability of the sibling with special needs, many siblings will make decisions with that specific sibling in mind knowing that selfishness isn’t really an option because family comes first. Additionally, siblings of those with special needs experience a completely different type of stress than siblings of children who are typically-developing. For example, certain situations may come up that can leave me feeling helpless, but it’s difficult to express that to my friends because they can’t relate to my situation in the same way. MOLLY SCHOENFELDER

Instructions 1. Have everyone sit in a chair in a circle. Note: As the leader, you will not have a chair and will stand in the center of the circle. 2. The person standing in the middle of the circle will say, “Over the mountain if….” and finish the sentence. 3. If the statement is true for the participants, they will get up and find a new chair. However, they cannot go to the chair directly next to them. 4. The last person to find a chair will be the person in the middle and will start the next round. 5. Repeat and have fun! Examples: ++ Over the mountain if you had cereal this morning. ++ Over the mountain if your sibling with a disability is older than you. ++ Over the mountain if you have been to the beach.

Sibs Chat

Have the siblings sit in a circle. Ask each sibling to introduce themself by stating their name and their sibling’s name. If they want to share a little bit about their sibling, give them time to share. Then, spend time answering the questions below. Questions ++ What do you do when your sibling hurts your feelings? ++ How do your encourage your sibling?

Intentional Sibling Activity Choose a Side

Materials ++ Pre-written questions ++ Rope Example Questions ++ I like going out to eat with my family. ++ I go to the same school as my sibling. ++ My sibling sometimes hits me. ++ I have to help my sibling get dressed. ++ My sibling messes with my stuff. ++ My sibling makes me laugh. ++ I have seen people stare at my sibling. ++ I get anxious about my sibling’s future. Instructions 1. Lay the rope in the middle of the room. 2. Label one side of the rope “Yes.” Label the other side of the rope “No.” 3. Ask a question. If the sibling answers “Yes,” they will go to that side of the rope. If the sibling answers “No,” they will go to that side of the rope. 4. Ask if any of the siblings want to share why they answered the question that way. 5. Continue asking questions until time is up.

BONUS

Pows & Wows



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