PUTTING CHRIST BACK IN CHRISTMAS

FEATURE

Since I’ve migrated some 2,600 kms from my hometown of Red Deer, Alberta to sunny Southern California, Christmas tunes have become my mental Christmas cue. I no longer rely on the first snow fall to shift gears from summer and fall mentality over to the season of lights, of winter activities, and of course the season of Christmas. Now it’s the familiar Christmas classics on the radio that do the job: that and the stress of shopping, spending, and keeping up with credit card payments.

Stress can show up in many different ways for different people in different times of the year. But for some reason the time of the year that is supposed to be the season of peace, joy and giving is often the most stressful time of the year. Why is that?

I won’t pretend to have the solution for everyone, but I can try to practice some self-reflection and maybe share a little of what I learned about myself.

I can’t say I’m the biggest giver, but I remember being excited at an early age to use my own money from my own savings to purchase Christmas gifts for my dad, mom, and brother. Just really simple gifts of no more than $5 or $10. And I remember the joy I had seeing them open their presents. Plus, I don’t recall stress being in the picture back then.

Fast forward over three decades later. I still enjoy giving gifts to my loved ones, but now there is so much more noise. There are the bills, the endless shopping, the decorating and cleaning, the Christmas programs, and the to do lists just seem to keep piling up. And in the midst of the chaos, I find myself thinking, when do I have any time for me?

Sound familiar? Burnout is a very real thing. Self-care is the talking point whenever stress management is mentioned. And I agree, self-care is such an important practice when striving for that healthy balance in this often chaotic life. But I would argue that for some, self-care is simply a means of treating the symptoms of the underlying problem. For me, that underlying problem lies in perspective. Where am I focusing. Or who am I focusing on?

Remember the story of Martha and Mary? It’s a short story found in Luke 10:38-42. But it drives home an important point. As they are often found, Jesus and His disciples are noted to be traveling from one village to the next, and Jesus is invited to Martha and Mary’s home. Martha is noted to be bothered that Mary seems to be preoccupied by Jesus’ words. So much so that she has left all the work for Martha to accomplish alone. And Martha ends up asking Jesus to have Mary help her with all that had to be done. The NIV, verse 40 says, “But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”

Distracted. I think that one word sums up the problem for a lot of us. Somehow, we went from a 9-year-old, focused on bringing joy to our father, our mother and our siblings to a distracted child of God focused on things other than Him. We have too often become distracted from all the preparations that have to be made and lost focus on Jesus.

Listen to what Jesus says to Martha, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

How many things are needed? Only one, and Mary was where she needed to be, sitting at the Lord’s feet, listening to what He said.

I’ve heard some sympathize with Martha, likely identifying with all the important tasks that needed to be done. But that is really the point Jesus wanted to make. The distractions don’t have to necessarily be bad things in and of themselves. They can actually be important things. And maybe even necessary things. But Jesus implies that if these “important things” get in the way of a relationship with Him, they are no longer necessary.

Because Jesus is all about relationships. In fact, the very act of giving is meant to enhance a relationship, between the giver and the receiver.

True giving is really a social interaction. It is not just making a donation to a cause. It is relaying the message: “I care about you, because you are important to me.”

Didn’t God demonstrate this perfectly? “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son.”

True giving is also most beneficial to the giver when the act has nothing to do with themselves. In His very act of giving His life on the cross, Jesus was still focused on those He was dying for, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Sure, Christmas is a busy time of the year. I would even agree with those who feel like it can be the most hectic time of the year. Someone once told me Christmas is not fun anymore, it’s really just for children. But in Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “let the children come to me.”

So maybe it’s time to be a kid again. Maybe the noise in your life needs to be reexamined. The Marthas will point out that those distractions are still important, and Jesus will say, but not at the expense of Me.

So, enjoy the season of giving. And by all means get done what needs to get done. But while you navigate through the tasks of the holiday season, don’t forget to carve out some time for Him. And as you sit at His feet and listen to His words maybe the feelings you had when you were nine years old, watching your parents and brother open their presents will return.

By Dr. Michael Quines is an alumnus of PAA in high school, and Burman University in College. He works as a psychiatrist and sees patients within Kaiser Permanente. He’s part of the Southern California Permanente Medical Group.

Dr. Michael Quines, MD, General Psychiatry