INTERVIEW Mental Health Care: Ruth Limkin speaks to Peter Hayton

MENTAL HEALTH CARE

Ruth Limkin interviews psychologist Peter Hayton on navigating challenge and caring for mental health for pastors..

The difficultly of navigating through the pandemic continues, with many impacts on churches and pastors, including mental health. Ruth Limkin interviewed Peter Hayton, a senior psychologist who has been practicing for over 20 years who is the Clinical Director of The Banyans Health and Wellness. Peter has also been a missionary and pastor, so understands the context in which pastors live and work.

Ruth Limkin: Thank you for taking the time to talk with me about mental wellbeing and pastors. You have pastored and also worked with pastors in your private practice over the last 20 years. Is there anything at this season in time, particularly with COVID, that you’re really noticing about pastors’ mental health? Peter Hayton: It’s a very new existence for pastors and any time we do something new, it increases stress. The effect on each person, as to what and how this season may affect them, will vary, according to how much other stress and agitation they’re carrying. I notice that some pastors are doing quite well and reinventing ways of doing church and feeling quite energized about that. Others are not doing so well and feeling a little like things are falling apart. There are mild mental health issues presenting in many people. I’m sure that there are also pastors, who are people just like anybody else, who may be experiencing more moderate to severe mental health issues as well.

Ruth: When you’re talking to pastors about looking after their mental health, have you noticed that there are barriers in either understanding or feeling comfortable talking about mental health? Peter: Yes, on occasions. When I first trained as a psychologist 25 years ago, there was a little bit of apprehension about the whole idea of psychology in the Christian context. I think that’s still there, and not just in the Christian context but across the wider community. For example, when you take a concept like suicide, people aren’t really even sure - in any realm - as to whether it’s something that we can talk about. They wonder, “If I talk about it, is that going to make it worse?” There’s a lot of fear and apprehension in the community. Ruth: Are you noticing people experiencing thoughts of suicide? Peter: This year, there is more space for people to think thoughts that could be considered suicidal thoughts. We call it suicide ideation, which is where someone realises that they are experiencing thought about suicide or harming themselves. This can happen to pastors, just as much as to anybody else. Like any other thought, those thoughts are not something that we have to hide away from. There are many thoughts that come to us, and we don’t have to hide away from them. Instead, we can bring them into the light. This includes when pastors have people in their church come to them to talk about self-harm or suicidal thoughts. We don’t have to hide away from these thoughts. Pastors are able to acknowledge them and help connect that person to the right kind of help and support. Ruth: Can you explain what you are referring to when you mention selfharming? Peter: There’s generally two forms of self-harming: what we call non-suicidal self-harming and suicidal self-harming. Sometimes, suicidal self-harming can be experimentation, where people may be experimenting around the idea of ‘doing something to harm myself to threaten my life’. There is non-suicidal self-harming, which is a releasing of emotional pain but in the absence of any suicidal ideation or thoughts. Ruth: Going back to what we were talking about earlier about the stress occurring. What are some of the stresses that you’re finding people are experiencing? Peter: Change is a stress. Pastors, like many other professionals, have really busy lives. When you’re living a busy life, you don’t always know how to cope with a slowdown. Certainly, I’ve noticed

Psychologist Peter Hayton with Ruth Limkin.

This year, there is more space for people to think thoughts that could be considered suicidal thoughts. We call it suicide ideation. – Peter Hayton

there are people in ministry who had to slow down because of the COVID situation, and they have felt a bit guilty about that. They’re out and doing really great things with their family on Sundays where they would normally be working on a Sunday, and unfortunately some report feeling that they should hide that away. Some feel an expectation to demonstrate that Sunday is still really busy. The reality is that it was Wednesday which was really busy and hard because that’s when they recorded the service. We often feel the expectation of others and that’s not always an easy thing for pastors (or anyone) to manage. Ruth: So how do you manage that? Sometimes those expectations of others are real; sometimes we project how other people feel it. Regardless, you’re still managing the pressure of those expectations. What are some good ways that people can learn to manage that? Peter: Pastors need to have some people in their life they can be real with. It may be people they’re in ministry with and understand, or people that have been in ministry previously that they have good connections with. Ruth: I am very aware that the pastors who read this will be in such a variety of situations across the nation. People

One of the things I get concerned about in this step back out of COVID into church, is that there is an expectation of replicating the previous season. This needs to be reshaped. – Peter Hayton

are having very different experiences at the moment. Thinking about those people who’ve gone back to in-person services, they might have some really conflicting emotions around them because they’re really excited that they’re back at services, but then, not everyone’s coming back or life has a different rhythm again. How should they process all of that? Peter: When you are in a season of uncertainty, part of the processing is to put good boundaries around. One of the things I get concerned about in this step back out of COVID into church, is that there is an expectation of replicating the previous season. This needs to be reshaped. This isn’t just for pastors, but it’s also for key members on our ministry teams. I recommend that pastors look at their personal energy flows, as well as the energy flows with their team, when they’re making decisions about how what church looks like in this in-between season. That boundary really important to consider.

Ruth: Can you just talk a little bit more about that personal energy flows that you were talking about? What should pastors be aware of for that? Peter: Well, given we are human, and not God, we exist in one place at one time, and I think that’s a really great limitation that God put on us! Effectively, we can do one thing at one time. The other thing we can’t manufacture is more hours in the day, or more minutes in the hour, so that provides a really great guidance. And so, therefore, what does a new schedule mean for my energy flow? How do I then create the emotional space to be able to manage this new schedule? Ruth: We are meant to care for ourselves, not live for ourselves, and I’m a big fan of being intentional and proactive around our health. What are some good practices that you think would be seen in the life of someone who is attending to their mental health and honouring the way God has designed us? For example, I have an appointment with my psychologist every six months that I book in, in advance. It always seems that God orchestrates that to be at just the right time I can do with some help processing illness or various challenges! Should everyone be catching up with a psychologist? Peter: These days, and it’s been highlighted by the Royal Commission into child sexual abuse, it’s pretty essential that a pastor has a supervisory kind of relationship. When I say supervisory, I don’t mean a line manager but professional and personal supervision and mentoring. It could also be a psychologist, who’s used to spending time with others and helping them reflect and see different things. Some denominations are really charging ahead in this area. I know The Uniting Church have been doing it for a long time. The Catholics have gotten really serious about it. The Presbyterians are getting more serious about it. In the ACC, I believe it’s really strongly encouraged and I notice there’s a lot of really great examples being set. You see a lot of the top leadership around the country who are participating in this and talking about it openly, which is really good. Ruth: Peter, thank you so much for your time.

Ruth Limkin is a credentialed pastor with the ACC, and is the founding CEO of The Banyans Health & Wellness, a multimodel residential health retreat.

NEXT STEPS:

• Take a personal inventory of what is causing you stress in this season and reflect on some different boundaries that may be helpful • Consider making intentional appointments with a mentor or professional supervisor such as a psychologist on a quarterly or six monthly basis. • If you are feeling in distress, please see your GP or call Lifeline: 13 11 14

‘I SEE A UNIVERSITY’

The world’s major marathons, including the arduous and tempestuous Boston Marathon, were all cancelled this year. Like many who qualified, Prof. Stephen Fogarty, President of Alphacrucis College (AC), had been training hard.

“I spend my whole life basically running!” he says in jest. “This year was going to be my 20th Marathon, running 42.195 kms. 20 marathons by 2020.” For the last 20 years, Stephen has been at the forefront of its quest to become a Christian University, a legacy long inspired by his predecessor, the late Ps David Cartledge. Australia’s universities exert a powerful influence on culture and society as they educate and train future leaders. Alphacrucis College educates students within the framework of a Christian worldview, with a strong reputation for uniquely combining academic expertise and Christian spirituality. Each year, Stephen dedicates the entire fundraising efforts of these marathons to the AC University vision. “I see that people with passion can change the world for better”, says Stephen. “I see our alumni all over the globe impacting neighborhoods, cities and nations. I see a University.” Despite the global pandemic, Stephen and his team are unwavering in completing his 2020 goal and have created their own version of the marathon run. In fact, all AC staff and campuses Australia-wide, as well as online students all over the world, will be joining him in a solidarity ‘fun run’. AC are particularly focused on the theme of ‘Wellbeing’ tis semester, with all AC students to tie in the ‘run with me’ campaign, hosting a series of events that touch on mental health, fitness, and the art of endurance. The staff launch took place over a Zoom staff party earlier this year with #RUNWITHME baseball caps sent to each staff member to inspire the runner within. Stephen will complete the full 42.195 kms and will commence in the early hours of the morning at the iconic Sydney Opera House and conclude at AC headquarters in Parramatta on 10 November 2020. “This will certainly be a celebration run. What a year we’ve all had! We will collectively be running to celebrate, hopefully, the end of confinement in addition to fundraising for our University vision.”

“My personal mission as President of AC, is to enlist the philanthropic support of those who want to leave a vital legacy for future generations. #RUNWITHME is essentially running this journey with AC.” DONATE at: stephenfogarty.com/run-with-me