A-DesiFlava Magzine Feb-March 2022 issue by A-Desiflava Magazine

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Volume 11 | Issue 1 | FEB-MAR 2022

Why Do Women Need To Change Their Last Name After Marriage? Pg 14 - 21 Days HK Quarantine • Pg 18 - Amir Chodorov • Pg 24 - Lord Buddha's Path to Wisdom Pg 28 - Aunty MVP is Back • Pg 34 - Horoscope (Feb & Mar)

With best compliments from

Mrs. Purviz R. Shroff, MH & Late Mr. Rusy M. Shroff, BBS, MBE

Tribute to

Mr Arjan H Melwani

The late Mr A.H. Melwani was a man of integrity, one of the highest characteristics in the eyes of the Lord. He was cultured, talented, loving, and caring. May Arjan Bhau’s memories always be joyful and cherished by family and friends for he has left us many reasons to celebrate his goodness. The Lord gave him blissful years of spending wonderful days with his loving wife, Meenu, amazing children and grandchildren. Bless those who mourn, Lord our eternal God, with the comfort of your love that they may face each new day with hope and the certainty that nothing can destroy the good that has been shared throughout Mr. Melwani's life journey. Lord, I do believe Bhau’s passing has left an imprint in the hearts of many. May his soul rest in eternal peace and may he shine like a rising star in the kingdom of the Lord. Amen.

In love light & healing,

Poonam V Mehta President

(M. Ed. Guidance & Counselling) Educator & Counsellor Be the Change HK Ltd Reg: under section 88 MOB: 9235-6628 • www.bethechangehk.org

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From the

EDITOR Dear Readers, There is so much beauty in the world, but lately, it's been hard to find. All thanks to Covid, Omicron, and god knows how many more variants are yet to come. Now the fear is gone, and it has become a joke. The Hong Kong government has been on its toes at all times, that the fear of covid is now a more giant killer than the actual infection. I feel pity for the retail and hospitality businesses in HK and the government playing tom & jerry finding the virus-infected people all around HK. Should we just let go of the fear, and everything will be OK? One sneeze, cough, or slight fever could be a new variant, and you could be inside the container in HK. As I commence our desi dopeness (aye!), I thought the best way to embrace a new issue in 2022 would be to create a fresh new logo for A-Desiflava Magazine. It's not been changed since 2011, and now ten years later, we needed a fresh new look. A big thanks to my creative boss Julian Fernando for such beautiful graphics and visuals from so many years. Also, a big Thanks to Mrs. Purviz Shroff and DSC International (formerly known as Delia School of Canada) for supporting the magazine right from its inception. This month's cover story is super exciting and controversial in a women's sense. I got this story idea from my wife, and I couldn't answer, and neither could google. Why do women need to change their last name after marriage? Also, in many cases, women even need to change their first names. Is this justified? Just imagine parents who only got daughters will never see their family name extend after their daughters marry. I am not sure who has the perfect answer for this question, but our expert writer Manju Mishra has expressed her views with the cover story, and some of the leading HK ladies have shared their opinion. In the mood, shares my personal experience about 21 days of quarantine in Hong Kong. Sometimes in life, it does not matter who you are or how much you have, but what matters the most is how flexible and compromising you are with the situation that life brings in front of you. Happiness does not come with money, fame, and luxury. It comes with quality time spent together, an excellent high-speed Internet, good wifi, the latest smartphone with all business and work apps, and a good laptop. An award-winning photographer from Israel is featured in this issue, and a very close friend and business associate of mine, Mr.Amir Chodorov. His photography is something beyond imagination. I bought three artworks from him at first glance, and the photographer definitely has an eye that sees beyond the subject's beauty! With the help of Devina Bannerji from Red Peppers Entertainment, Amir's artworks are available in Hong Kong. You can browse through some of his most beautiful artworks in the article. This issue is a well-done effort from my side, and I'm sure you will appreciate the efforts and give it a good read till the last page. Don't forget to read Aunty MVP, which is back in this issue due to public demand. A big thanks to Mrs.Poonam Mehta; she's one of the most incredible women I've come across in my life. Her blessings and support mean a lot to the magazine and me. Enjoy reading and don't forget to send me your raves and rants.

Gaurav Pardeshi (Gary) gp@aplomhk.com

CHIEF EDITOR: Gaurav Pardeshi

PUBLISHER: Neha Gaurav Pathak

DESIGN CONSULTANT: Julian Fernando PROOF READING & EDITING: Mariam Amr Abdou

FOR ADVERTISEMENTS PLEASE CONTACT: Phone: +852 9543 3660 Email: gp@aplomhk.com PRINTED BY: 01 Printing Limited, Suite M, 3/F, Tower 3, 448 Kwun Tong Road, Kwun Tong Industrial Center, Kwun Tong, Kowloon, Hong Kong Tel: +852 28111183

DISCLAIMER: No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without permission. The publisher, layout designer, Contributors, their employees and partners are not responsible for the results of any actions, error or omissions take on the basis of information contained in this publication and expressly disclaim all and any liability for any such action of any person. The views expressed in A-Desiflava are not necessarily those of the publisher, editor layout designer or contributors. The publisher, layout designer and editor cannot he held responsible for difference of opinion or statements published in good faith. The mention of specific companies or products in articles or advertisements does not imply that the are endorsed or recommended by this magazine or its publisher in preference to other of a similar nature which are not mentioned or advertised.

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SISTER MARIA TERESA UNZU LAPEIRA 12-02-1924 - 20-01-2022

CHAMPION OF

HUMANITY

We will Miss You Sister Maria Teresa, ~ Your beloved student Shakuntala Pardeshi

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Who do women need to change their last name after marriage?

Lord Buddha's path to wisdom

21 Days HK Quarantine - Sad to Glad?

Contests For Kids & Adults

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AMIR CHODOROV

Looking through the lens of an award winning photographer !

Advocate Dharmendra Damani A lawyer with good knowledge of the law is stronger than a hundred men with guns.

The importance of Racial D&I in workplaces

February & March Horoscope

26 28

Aunty MVP

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t’s a significant and lifeimpactful issue with deeper roots underlying tangled traditional beliefs and modern-day basic requirements. Basically, a Titan’s clash between the modern world and Ritualistic olden days. As women are the epitome of strength and durability, they are considered “Janani,” the creator of life. Not only does Indian Culture worship them, but also treats them equally as goddesses. As born warriors, we must fight male discrimination,

social restrictions, gender differences and fight for our mere existence. As individuals, we are always dependent on our caretakers. Before marriage Significant it’s our parents and lifeand after a lawful wedding, our impactful husbands. We issue with even lose our deeper roots basic identity as we are bound underlying to change our tangled surnames (Some cultural following traditional also assign beliefs and new names to modernbrides). Modern day women are day basic successful and requirements. independent. Still, most of them depend on our own cultural backgrounds and there are some rules to be followed without question. One of such ethical regulations includes accepting the surname of your soulmate, that is your husband, for your whole life. After this maternal engagement, everything

Image courtesy: Pinterest

It's an individual's decision as per necessities and commitment towards consensual marriage terms. goes through unavoidable circumstances; surname acceptance is the supreme priority out of all. Although our previous wars were well fought and won with self-respect and a positive approach, this issue still is an underlying reality. The acceptance of surname is a standing ovation to our cultural backgrounds and traditional beliefs. Society and families believe that when a woman changes her surname to her husband’s, the marriage is completely sealed. It acts as the sacred tie that makes the woman and her husband one. This also lets go of any doubt that the newlyweds are not facing any problems in their marital life.

Whether it’s before or after you tie the knot, the question of changing your name will likely come up at some point. A potential name change can be a touchy subject to discuss with friends, family, and your spouse. In fact, some wedding gifts and well wishes may be made out to you with the assumption you’ll change your name. But ultimately, the decision is up to you. Keep your surname or change it, it’s an individual’s decision as per necessities and commitment towards consensual marriage terms. This option continues to grow in popularity. It’s also the least complicated choice. If you’re both keeping your last names, there’s no need to stress

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your marriage is legitimate. For example, you may need to present your marriage certificate if your partner becomes ill and you want to make healthcare decisions on their behalf. It won’t affect your professional life, but you’ll have the same last name as any child with your partner. Having two names may be difficult to keep track of. Explaining this to employers, clients, and business acquaintances may become tedious. For some, taking their husband’s last name simply serves to solidify the commitment. It’s a gesture that leaves no room for doubt—changing their surname after marriage shows they’re all in. For others, taking their husbands’ surname is more about the status of the family unit.

about updating personal, legal, and financial documents. Let’s consider essential things that need to be considered while going through a legitimate name change for brides. First and most important is the approval from both parties to take a firm decision for making the surname change a legal agreement. It shouldn’t be a foundation or forceful act. Other than those following points can be taken into consideration. You don’t have to go through the name change process, and it won’t affect you professionally. In fact, if you’ve already established your career, keeping your name supports your wellknown reputation. The ultimate purpose of life is to attain happiness, if your

Highly-educated, high-earning women are more likely to keep their last names after marriage.

heart and soul are satisfied with this decision, go ahead, and accept your husband’s surname for a lifelong. This can rule out many future complications such as; the name you choose to keep or take, affects your family, including any future children you may have. What works for you as a couple may not work as well for your family. It is a compressed issue as per

individual family’s experience. It can lead to positive or negative feedback from different opinions expressed. On the other hand, having a different last name from your children can make travel, hospital visits, and school pick-ups more of a hassle than having the same surname. Certain situations may require you to prove

There are plenty of options for you to consider when changing your name. It’s no longer the cut-and-dry case of a bride changing her given name to match the groom. Instead, many couples embrace new and unique alternatives. Before you decide, reflect on the different name change options and how a name change affects your life going forward. Keep your surname professionally. You may have built your career or business around your name. If so, keeping your professional identity separate from your married identity may be the way to go. You might change your name legally but continue to use your given name professionally. I would like to remind my fellow females that we are the epitome of immense strength and agility. Indian culture

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depicts us as the creators, and all mothers can conquer the world. I am a living example myself of surname replacement after wedding bells. Before marriage, I was “Manju Sharma,” which eventually got replaced by Manju Mishra. My identity has been modified formally not only on papers but in my practical life too. Well known in society as Mrs. Mishra (many people don’t even know my first name). This process was not a burden or restriction for me, as I willingly took my husband’s surname for better prospects. Many women like me are happy in this namespace and enjoy being Mrs. Women who take their spouse’s last name do so for various reasons, from wanting to embrace tradition to being concerned that children will end up confused or unhappy if the parents have different last names. Still, more women today keep their last names after marriage, and both men and women are becoming progressively more open to alternatives. As per current situation, the number of women who keep their names after marriage are increasing. Highly-educated, high-earning women are more likely to keep their last names after marriage. They are primary bread earners at home, so, they choose their own path and the rest of the family follows. Times are changing for good, I suppose. Key Takeaways from this article are summed up like this. A woman is a decisionmaker, she has full right to choose her future path, with what identity and in

what terms she would like to lead her life. It is not a necessity or legal privilege for spouses to decide and change their surnames or names as per choice, Cause as someone said, “what is there in name.” Finally, as per the current situation, most married women still take their husbands’ names. However, around half of name-takers keep their maiden name as a middle name, which functions as a secondary surname. Basic reasons enlisted for name change are the persistence of patriarchal power, whether that was obvious to the couples or not and the whole ideal of the ‘good family.’ The sense that having the same name as your partner symbolizes commitment, and this ties you and any potential children together as a unit. An Individual’s mindset and lifestyle go hand in hand, the commitment towards this pious engagement of two souls solidifies with the name change. Surely then it is a good change. Keep Going Keep Growing.

Article by

Manju Mishra Being a dedicated teacher and blessed mother of two. I keep my life simple and sweet. My positivity and enthusiastic life keep me going, music makes me feel good, and writing is my favorite hobby. Hong Kong is my work front, and Indian Ethics is my foundation. Proud Indian.

A woman is a decisionmaker, she has full right to choose her future path, with what identity and in what terms she would like to lead her life.

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A-Desiflava took this opportunity to take opinions from some of our leading and powerful Hong Kong ladies; Neha Pathak

(Publisher - A-Desiflava Magazine)

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nurturing and future. So, the burden of carrying the illogical legacy will stop by this. The father's and mother's names should be the middle and last names. We need to change the system or legacy that is no more fruitful for women's development.

Mrs.Poonam Mehta

(President - Be The Change HK, M.Ed. Guidance & Counselling)

him. Anyway, I changed my husband's family name as per tradition. Years later, I realized we all tend to follow the old tradition that was commonly practiced and continuous today. On the other hand, many present generations believe it should be an optional choice. The question arises as to if a married couple deems to accept each other as equals, treat one another with respect and support then, should the husband be free or even be prepared to take his wife's family surname? It is considered optional for a woman to choose her post-marriage surname in Sri Lanka. A very good Sri Lankan friend of mine had never heard of a woman being forced to change their maiden's name on marri

While the concept of taking a husband's last name is ingrained in our culture and viewed almost as a rite of passage. As for me, the last name shouldn't exist for either gender. The country I come from is known for its value, culture, and many more unremarkable things. However, it has a powerful patriarchal system. Because of the last name debate, a female fetus has been killed in the womb, and a woman must leave her parents' house and stay with in-laws as it’s been told now her last name has been changed now this is her new life. The child's last name should be the parents' name because they are responsible for their child's

Marriage is a life-long journey that thrives on love, commitment, trust, respect, communication, patience, and companionship. ~ Ashley and Marcus Kusi As I was growing up, all I ever heard from my parents was that marrying within one's community is regarded as respectful and reflects on the way parents have nurtured their children. When I married outside 'the community,' it shattered my father, and he could not accept an inter-caste marriage, most notably that of my husband's surname. I could not question or reason with him at that time. I am not sure now that even keeping my maiden's name would have made any difference to

Most importantly, women in Sri Lanka would not be treated any differently should they not wish to use their husband's surname. My friend reminds me that it has never been linked with her pride or respect. However, some traditional families want their family name to be taken forward with the birth of a son. Here, gender is a huge issue. These small symbolic gestures are accumulated like fine threads and seem to be woven into a larger tapestry in which men remain in the position of power and authority. Furthermore, women often become accustomed to their birth name, and they take the utmost pride in it as it is closer to their hearts. This can

remain the cornerstone of their identity for life. Without passing any judgment on the women who have already kept their own families' names or who are willing to do so, I would like to put forward my personal feelings in this regard. Although I favor maintaining a maiden name, I believe it may confuse travel documents until it is widely accepted by all authorities concerned. Having said the above, in some cultures, parents anxiously wait for their daughters to marry into a wealthy family with the expectation and wish for them to live happily forever afterward with their rich spouse. Nevertheless, parents sometimes marry daughters to unburden their parental responsibilities. So, where is the problem if women change to her husband's surname on marriage? There is absolutely no harm. To conclude, there are pros and cons; what's in a name? It is a personal choice, and if the husband has no objection, then women should stay with your maiden's name. Good luck!

Some traditional families want their family name to be taken forward with the birth of a son.

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Gazal Chandra

(Senior Management Consultant)

According to me, the cliché "what's in a name?" is used by many to justify name change after marriage. People argue that there is no harm in changing a name that we did not even choose at the time of our birth. The same logic should apply to men, too, but after marriage, the women have to change their name, whereas men have complete autonomy. Our name is our identity, and, to me, it serves as the very basis of self-conception, especially in relation to others. Most women still must change their names after marriage. One shouldn't be expected to give it up just because of marriage. After all, we were born with a certain name, have lived years with that same name, and are still the same person, then why give it up! I advocate for gender equality by emphasizing that the fundamental right to choose an adult is for men and women. The choice to change or not change name after marriage should be ours. It is not the law of the land,

but a custom cultivated for so long that it has become a traditional belief. Deviation from a long-practiced tradition is seen as an offense, and our intentions are questioned. The 'choice' matters no more. I agree that formative experiences play a huge role in our lives, and amidst all these dynamics, it's easy to forget the part played by our names. But to me, the most important anchorage to our self-identity throughout life remains our name. Deep down in my heart, there is contentment and gratitude because saying "I do" fundamentally did not change the question "Who am I." I was able to preserve my autonomy.

Devina Kapoor Bannerji (Director - Redpeppers Entertainment HK)

What's in a name? Nothing really or a whole lot? Let's talk about first names first….it all depends on your perspective. Some folks attach a lot of importance to it and go to great lengths to choose names for their children, especially since they had no say in choosing their own first

or second names at birth! Most of the urban, Gen X would fall into this category. According to the horoscope, some even enlist the help of a pundit or priest to check the appropriate alphabet that the name must start from. My parents gave my brother two names and me a nickname at birth and a 'proper' name just before kindergarten. My husband and I had chosen, after great deliberation, the name for our son and daughter, even before they were born. Some people, however, choose names for their children only after birth. On the other hand, the last name can't be chosen since we are born with them, and hence they deeply form a part of our identity as we grow up. Growing up in various parts of India, within different cocooned Army cantonments, I was surrounded by aunties who had all changed their maiden surnames after marriage, quite happily, I might hasten to add. In my mother's generation, it was pretty much taken for granted that a girl would do, so there wasn't much choice given in the matter. Traditionally, in the West (the UK and US), women would take their husbands' surnames after marriage. In my generation, however, the trends have changed in India and around the world. As more and more girls have graduated from university and gone on to join the workforce, the questions have been asked: why do I need to change my surname? Can't I keep my maiden surname? Why doesn't he change his surname to mine? I believe that women should be given the right to choose the surname they want. Keeping

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your maiden surname is, of course, the least complicated choice. There's no need to worry about updating personal, financial, and legal documents. You don't have to go through a name change process, and it won't affect you professionally. On the other hand, taking your husband's surname follows the path of least resistance and is guaranteed to make your husband and in-laws delighted. You become Mrs. so n so, and all is well. The documents do have to be changed, in any case. In my opinion, the perfect option is when you can combine both your maiden and married surnames by keeping your former name as a middle name, followed by the married one. That way, you don't give up your identity from birth and throughout your schooling and Uni life and adopt the new one that comes with the beautiful marriage union. To my mind, that is truly the best of both worlds.

Pooja Laungani

(Bollywood Dance Choreographer and Certified Fitness trainer)

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The topic of changing one's last name after getting married has swayed significantly in the recent years. As with most things wedding-related, couples now feel empowered to adopt the traditions they connect with and skip the ones they don't—the new bride changing her last name is the perfect example. Though earlier generations might not have thought twice about a woman changing her name shortly after marriage. Old traditional customs had earlier made it almost mandatory for women to adhere to the changein-surname rule so that they can be respectable members of society. It has always been believed that a woman’s identity is related to her husband and by only taking up his surname; the woman becomes a part of her husband’s family. Society and families believe that when a woman changes her surname to that of her husband’s, the marriage is completely sealed. It acts as the sacred tie that makes the woman and her husband one. But today's generation does not really believe in adopting this tradition. There could be a number of reasons like whether you have already established a professional career under your maiden name or you find the tradition archaic, there's absolutely no rule that says you need to trade in your last name for a new one. In my opinion feminism is ultimately about giving women free choice. This means as long as they can decide what name they’d like (rather than it being forced

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on them by their partner or society), it shouldn’t matter whether that is in keeping with, or going against, patriarchal norms. And if you are all for changing your last name, GO FOR IT!

Dr. Aditi Dubey

(Lecturer & Educationist)

promotional materials but don’t know if we should refer to you as ‘Dr. Aditi Jhaveri’ or ‘Dr. Aditi Dubey’”, the text query. It was a valid question because while I have been using my birth name ‘Aditi Dubey’ in all my social media accounts, I had started using my then married name ‘Aditi Jhaveri’ professionally. And unfortunately, since then, although I got divorced, the name stuck. Why did I change my name in the first place, you may ask? That’s a long story, but in short, it would suffice to say that it had more to do with my ex than with me.

Women have traditionally adopted their husbands’ family names upon marriage for various cultural, legal, emotional, and symbolic reasons. As an educator in the Hong Kong higher education sector spanning two decades, my own opinions on the issue have been shaped primarily due to professional concerns. In an era of personal brand identity and online presence, changing one’s surname can create a lot of confusion and misunderstanding if one has been known in their professional networks by their birth name before the name change. Just the other day, I had an education provider message me to double-check my last name. “We would like to include your name in our

Anyway, ‘Aditi Jhaveri’ is an old identity that spills into the present day, leading to unwanted outcomes. As an academic, one of the main problems I have faced has to do with research outputs (including citations and authorship), which are now under two different names instead of one. Therefore, recruiters and academic contacts who try to find me online get an incomplete picture of my roles and accomplishments instead of a consolidated professional profile. Why don’t I change my name back to the original one and keep that for the future, you may wonder. Yes, that’s what I plan to do. But the hassle involved with applying for a name change for my passport, Hong Kong ID, bank cards, and all manners of other documents have kept me in a state of procrastination. And in the meanwhile, I have also remarried...

In sum, as more women join the workforce and enjoy thriving careers, it would be useful to remind them that their name is what they will be known by in their industry and network. In effect, a cavalier attitude towards one’s name, i.e., ‘What’s in a name?’ could hurt women both professionally and economically. It’s time we took ourselves and our names more seriously.

Sharina Amarnani Chandnani (Founder and CEO SkinCure Asia Limited, SkinCureasia.com)

For some, it's a tradition followed by the teaching of our ancestors, but over time, the new generation is changing these customs. Honestly, I have not changed my surname after marriage as being a Spanish citizen, we must obey our parents' last name, as you Can't change them- it's your DNA, but husbands can be changed ironically, it's a fact. In my opinion, you should never give up on your own identity. Today, we have equality between genders. If not, why not ask your

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husband to change his last name.

Apeksha Hardik Mehta

(Educationist & Writer)

For many years, this tradition has been followed that after marriage, the woman will change her surname, which belongs to her father, and given to her since she is born to her husband's surname. Though now many women would like to carry their father's surname and are not willing to change their maiden name, the choice must be respected. However, I feel that the tradition of changing the surname gives the lady a sense of acceptance and responsibility that she is a part of the family and should not feel like an outsider. Women who take their spouse's last name do so for various reasons, from wanting to embrace tradition, wanting a sense of fresh start of her

identity, or being concerned that children will end up confused or unhappy if the parents have different last names. There can be a debate on which name children should follow. It can even be a problem if the family has some legal matters. Though one size does not fit all in this scenario, it's the same way it should be one's decision to carry on with their maiden name or with their husbands' surname. After all, marriage is about mutual understanding and acceptance from both partners.

Anisa Tan

(Life Coach & Motivational Speaker)

Think about university transcripts, medical records, and the whole life of documents you must consider before your marriage. Honestly, this requirement to change a woman’s surname after marriage was never really challenged. It was just accepted culturally as there weren’t any other options. It was just part and parcel of the changes after getting married. I don’t even know a woman who chose to make zero name changes or a man who took one for the team. Emotionally, it symbolizes being part of a new family after marriage and makes sense for any children who will be part of the family, so we all identify as one family. I am yet to see a man and the children take on the mother’s surname, though! Legally, it also makes sense and makes it easier to buy physical things like real estate or other assets while identifying as a married couple.

Because we just accepted this without questioning it until now, haha!

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all. It symbolized the lack of recognition and power for women to own property or have full legal rights back in those times. So, while it is masked as romantic now, we can’t ignore the historical roots. Some women do choose to keep both surnames now. Think about university transcripts, medical records, and the whole life of documents you must consider before your marriage. It is a one-sided, painful process that makes it even more complicated if a woman separates or is divorced. As a woman with no brothers, I did feel sad knowing that my own dad’s surname may someday disappear, but it’s great to see many women opting to keep both, and I can understand why.

The need for a woman to change her surname to the husband’s name, dates to medieval times, though, and it’s not a romantic reason at

‘What’s in a name?’ could hurt women both professionally and economically. It’s time we took ourselves and our names more seriously.

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HK Quarantine - SAD TO GLAD?

With a compulsory self-paid 21 days hotel quarantine in Hong Kong, it surely is a jail sentence. However, with some healthy cookies and proof that the essential things in life are not money, fame, and property, but are good internet, good smartphone & laptop.

25 November 2021, I checked in to Silka Sea-View Hotel in Yau Ma Tei with my family. When I say family, I mean my wife, six-year-old son, and myself. When we landed in Hong Kong on 25 November 2021, around 4.30 am, we felt like we started playing the Squid game. Go here, do this, wait here, fill this form, queue here, so many things were lined up turn by turn. My son laughed and said, "Papa, it's fun; it feels like we are playing Squid Game." We finally began testing for covid, turn-by-turn, and then waited for 2 hours for our results. The wait for the covid result felt like waiting for my final year's results of Bachelors of Engineering, same tension, stress, and lack of sleep. Thankfully, everyone else on our flight tested negative, and we were asked to move towards the baggage belts to collect our bags. Around 8 am, we collected our bags and moved towards another very long queue that segregated according to the hotel bookings for everyone.

Each hotel had a different line, and the airport staff led everyone turn-by-turn. Finally, we got on to our bus and reached our hotel, Silka Sea-View.

As we reached our hotel around 10 am, 15-20 feet high wooden partitions surrounding the hotel entrance welcomed us. I felt like we were going inside

some jail. Around 8-10 of the hotel staff, looking damn tensed and covered entirely in PPE clothes, welcomed us with complete dismay on their faces. Many people

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say covid is just in mind, and this is precisely what I was feeling, covid-positive only in my mind. The tensed hotel staff cordoned off the hotel entrance, and the scary tired faces of everyone made me feel like one covid positive patient. I haven't tested positive for covid until now, but this was the closest I could get to feeling positive. "Covid has made the word positive very negative in the covid sense; no one wants to be positive." The hotel staff briefed on the covid quarantine game rules rules very clearly. Breakfast boxes at 8.30 am, lunchboxes at 1 pm, and dinner boxes at 7 pm. It would help if you took your meal boxes inside your rooms within a maximum of 30 minutes after they were placed outside your room. Inside the room, trash will be picked only at 2.30 pm every day, and nothing can go outside the room except for the used meal boxes and bin bags. Finally, around 11 am we got inside our 120 square feet room with 13 bags, in total that weighed over 150kgs. Just imagine the feeling and visualize the space; you will understand what I mean. There is a queen-sized bed, one small fridge, an unusual shaped small working desk, and a non-working smart TV. To make it merrier even, the wifi wasn't working correctly. I was in a state of shock for some time, and as I cooled off, we all started settling down inside the room. Sometimes in life, it does not matter who you are or how much

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Sometimes in life, it does not matter who you are or how much you have, but what matters the most is how flexible and compromising you are with the situation that life brings in front of you.

you have, but what matters the most is how flexible and compromising you are with the situation that life brings in front of you. Take a note, if it's related to Hong Kong, never trust photos of anything. Be it a girl, a hotel room, or any scenic beauty. The reality might be terrifying.

exhausted and sleepy. I had to stay awake and get on with my work, as it was a fresh new Thursday in Hong Kong, and business was running as usual. Thankfully I had my Hong Kong phone working, so I could use the Hotspot and get back to business immediately.

My wife and son dozed off immediately as we all were

I had an extremely tiring and fruitful working day; I felt

What if one of us brings id back the cov virus to HK? happy that despite feeling very tired, sleepy, and angry about the hotel situation, I managed to connect the ends and have a great day at work. I thanked God for giving me the strength and courage to

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son will be ready." He, very rudely, said, "no-wake them up right now." I was pissed off, and I shouted at him, saying, "just shut up and come stay with us

accept the situation and move on happily. At first, I felt like calling the hotel reception and shouting at them mainly for the wifi not working, but somehow I made up my mind to understand that this is AllGood. What if one of us brings back the covid virus to HK? Hence, 21 days quarantine is a must for all. What if the wifi does not work? I still have my phone's data and Hotspot to use. I at least had my son and wife with me, and together we can face and sail through the worst situations in life. What's Important is the people around you, not the things around you. We were served typical Chinese Hong Kong-style breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Being Indians, it's tough to adapt to non-spicy tasteless food, but as I said earlier, you need to learn to adapt, learn to compromise, and move on in life. My wife and I started making the Hong Kong food spicy, tangy and tasty with the help of all the chilly, black-

salt, and Indian flavored readyto-mix powders we brought from India. Anticipate the worst, and then everything looks good. So here we found a solution of having HonkoIndian food every day. There is another incident I would like to share. Every alternate day, my entire family had to go through a covid test by an outsourced company appointed by the Hong Kong Government. Just imagine every alternate day, 3-4 full PPE covered staff came hard knocking at our doors, shouting "covid-test, covidtest you need to come out." On the first day, there was a very impolite Chinese fellow who was staring at me and shouted, "do fast, do fast we have to go." I told him, "my wife and son are sleeping, do my swab taking first, and in the meantime my wife, and

inside this hotel without internet, no space, and this jail-like feeling, then you will understand what kind of mindset we are in; right now." I told the guy to be polite and understand that quarantine patients are not covid-positive patients,

You need to down the c shush hin who raise t ese voice on yo heir u because yo , just u ar south Asian e a .

but are only in quarantine. So he needs to be polite and not treat us as slaves in imprisonment at their own paid expenses. All the Chinese in Hong Kong, at least the ones I came across after I landed in Hong Kong, treat people in quarantine like covid-positive patients. I also complained to the Health Department, and the following test onwards, I didn't see the same guy again, and the

swab-taking staff were very polite and sweettalking. In Hong Kong, you need to shush down the Chinese who raise their voices on you just because you are a South Asian. As days passed, my family and I became used to the food, small room, crowded space, wake up-eat-sleep routine, and same covid tests every week. After a few days of struggle with adjusting to the whole thing, we started liking it. My wife and I enjoyed our wine, chips, and light refreshments every night. My son slept hugging both of us every night and felt super happy that he could be together with both of us simultaneously and for an

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7) Carry spare mobile phone charger and India to HK plug adapter 8) Carry books to read 9) Carry some digestive tablets 10) Carry your yoga mats 11) Carry a portable vacuum cleaner, table clock, and Bluetooth speakers

does s s e n i p p a H ith not come w , e money, fam . and luxury

12) Download Deliveroo and Food Panda App as soon as you arrive in HK 13) Get mobile nos. of India food meal box suppliers

extended period. I understood that if I didn't exercise, my weight would increase, I realized it would not be reasonable to lose my temper on anything, and I also learned the most important facts and lessons of life. Always be ready and happy with whatever you get and wherever you are. Happiness does not come with money, fame, and luxury. It comes with quality time spent together and definitely a very good high-speed Internet, good wifi, latest smartphone with all business and work apps., and obviously a good laptop. We will never forget the 21 days spent together in quarantine as a family. I will personally feel proud that we turned a rather sad journey

of 21 days into a memorable happy period of my entire life.

Few things to carry along before you get into quarantine in Hong Kong:

1) C arry a lot of ready to mix spices and food items 2) Carry a WIFI dongle 3) Carry your Amazon firestick or tv box 4) Carry a lot of dry fruits 5) Carry your insect repellents 6) Carry spare bed sheets and blankets

Article by: Gaurav Pardeshi, A-Desiflava Magzine. I have shared my personal experience in this article, and the intention is not to hurt the reputation and image of any hotel, company, organization, or government. Suggestions are purely based on my personal experience, and I bear no responsibility whatsoever. If you wish to get in touch with me. You can always write me an email; gp@aplomhk.com

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AMIR CHODOROV Wholeness Photography Breaking through the

“VISUAL ATTENTION" BARRIER.

hat you see is determined by what you attend to, at any given time. The environment presents far more perceptual information than can be effectively processed by the brain. Visual attention barrier forces our brain to select the information that is most relevant to ongoing behavior specially in locations that contain lots of objects and noises. Complexity and information overload characterises almost every visual environment, given that fact , the perceptual system in our brain can’t build us a wholeness view of all the objects together.

Looking through the lens of an award winning photographer !

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Artist : Amir Chodorov Title: New York Public Library Size: 120/67.8 cm -2180 USD Size: 90/53 cm -1850 USD Medium: Lamination Printing

As a photographer Amir tried for a long time to create a method that would give him the ability to create such “wholeness Photography” that integrates – physical objects, emotions and beauty. In 2017 after 40 years of experience, he succeeded to Invent a self-method that could break the Visual Attention barrier as a photographer, that enabled him to create a wholeness view in locations that reflected in his Artworks.

Artist : Amir Chodorov Title: New York Roosevelt Island Size: 120/67.8 cm -2950 USD Size: 90/40 cm -2550 USD Medium: Lamination Printing

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He found out that the first photography barrier is the camera viewfinder that narrows our ability to view all the objects in the location while we are shooting.

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Artist : Amir Chodorov Title: New York Times Square Size: 120/75 cm -2750 USD Size: 90/56 cm -2450 USD Medium: Lamination Printing

Amir's puzzle consecrates history, yet at the same time, he creates a new and fresh contemporary reality. His artwork is distinguished by the geometric and sometimes abstract characters, which is born from a certain emotional situation or an imaginary event that the artist decides to embellish with various layers of impressive coloring. His artwork emphasizes the victory of the spirit, inspiration and beams of light he found within himself.

‘First insight - Shooting must be done from my brain and not from the camera viewfinder. Second insight– before shooting, I stay in the location for a while, in order to give my brain time to study the physical objects – line,shape, forms and color pigments. Emotions filling the atmosphere –such as: people, religion, culture, and energy. Third insight - find the best “Point of view” that is covering all objects together. These three insights mentioned above, draws a scheme in my mind that creates the integration of the objects.

while I’m not looking through the camera viewfinder but following my eyes to cover the whole brain scheme.

Execution phase - from the selected point of view, I'm shooting hundreds of photos in different angles

Final process - organize the photos together like a puzzle, creating “Wholeness Photography" of the location.’

Artist : Amir Chodorov Title: New York Central Park Size: 120/72 cm -2900 USD Size: 90/54 cm -2500 USD Medium: Lamination Printing

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Artist : Amir Chodorov Title: New York Brooklyn Bridge Size: 120/69 cm -3100 USD Size: 90/53 cm -2750 USD Medium: Lamination Printing

EXHIBITIONS & AWARDS 2019 “London Art Biennale” – winning 1st prize in photography 2019 “Amsterdam Whitney Gallery – Chelsea NYC 2019 “Unity in Variety X” – London 2019 "Vatican Chancellery Palace" - Rome Italy -GIORGIO VASARI INTERNATIONAL AWARD

Artist : Amir Chodorov Title: Time is money Size: 120/103 cm -2200 USD Size: 90/77 cm -1850 USD Medium: Lamination Printing

2021 Unesco exhibition - Paris London Art Biennale 1st Prize in Photography 2019 International Prize MICHELANGELO-Rome 2019 Mona Lisa Special Award Italy 2019

2019 “MUSEUM OF ART AND SCIENCE” – Milano MONNALISA Special Award 2020 Hulun Museum of Art - Israel

GIORGIO VASARI INTERNATIONAL AWARD Vatican Chancellery Palace 2020

2020 "Palazzo della Cancelleria Vaticana" - Rome

International Prize Leonardo da Vinci- The Universal Artist, Rome 2020

2020 Tel Aviv - Disingof Center - 5 Big Artworks 2020 International Convention Center Jerusalem- 7 Artworks, 4.5m Long of the old city of Jerusalem

Emerald ARTYA Award International Magazine's exclusive Fall 2021 ATIM’s Top 60 Masters NYC 2022

Note : price mentioned below each artwork does not include shipping cost

For inquiries on these or any other of Amir’s Artworks, please contact RED PEPPERS ENTERTAINMENT :

Devina -90378869 Sindhu-94613676

Suite D-F, 25/F YHC Tower 1, Sheung Yuet Road Kowloon Bay Hong Kong

www.redpeppershk.com

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The importance of

Racial D&I in workplaces D

iversity & Inclusion (D&I) have become buzzwords in the corporate world. Simply put, diversity is the differences that we all have based on the various attributes of our identities, while inclusion is all about valuing and embracing those differences and allowing people to bring their whole selves to work. A phrase often used to explain diversity and inclusion is “Diversity is being invited to the party, and inclusion is being asked to dance.” Inclusion and diversity have to go together; one does not work without another. There is no point in having a diverse team if they do not feel included or heard. The Black Lives Matter and MeToo movements added a sense of urgency to the need for racial and gender diversity in the workplace and other platforms. The calls for fair and equal representation have grown. While there is a social justice argument for D&I, various studies went out to show the business case for having

D&I in the workplace. The correlation between diverse employee compositions and higher business performance helped bolster the argument for more diverse and inclusive workplaces.

A woman is a decisionmaker, she has full right to choose her Inclusion future and path, withdiversity what identity haveand to go in what terms together; she would like one does to lead not her work life. without

another.

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A landmark study by McKinsey released in 2015, Why Diversity Matters, made a clear business case for diversity in teams. According to the report, “companies in the top quartile for gender or racial and ethnic diversity are more likely to have financial returns above their national industry medians.” This finding was further reinforced by studies that followed in 2018 and 2020. Hong Kong, too has seen a growing interest and investment by companies in fostering D&I. While international businesses and large companies lead the trend, we are encouraged to see smaller and many local businesses also following suit. The growth is relatively small at the moment, but the trend is promising. At the Ethnic Minorities Unit of the Equal Opportunities Commission, we are particularly interested in racial D&I. A key focus area is the provision of equal opportunities in employment for people of all races, particularly the disadvantaged racial groups. To promote racial inclusion in employment, we launched the Racial D&I Charter for employers in 2018. The Charter is a set of nine goals to help employers move forward on their racial D&I goals. By signing the Charter, organizations commit to improving their workplaces in terms of diversity and inclusive policies and practices. Starting with just 11 signatories in December 2018, we are proud to have over 200 organizations in our signatory network. These organizations come from various sectors and are of different sizes and compositions. Ranging from large multinational companies and local conglomerates

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Companies in the top quartile for gender or racial and ethnic diversity are more likely to have financial returns above their national industry medians. to SMEs, NGOs, and social enterprises, they all have shown a commitment to the principle of racial D&I by signing the Charter. Charter signatories benefit from learning from other organizations in the network. Through events, meetings, projects, training, and other activities, we can generate awareness about the importance of racial D&I and its implementation. One of the common barriers to the employment of racial minorities in Hong Kong is language. By urging companies to scrutinize the language requirement, they ask for by checking whether that requirement is commensurate with the needs of the job is one of the advice given out. We also encourage companies to improve cross-cultural understanding through training, events, informal employee groups, etc. Putting internship opportunities for disadvantaged youth can be a great way to enhance their exposure to more career choices. These are just some of the ideas and suggestions implemented by Charter signatories.

If you would like to know more about the EOC’s Racial D&I Charter, please scan the QR code at the bottom or contact the Equal Opportunities Commission: Equal Opportunities Commission 16/F 41 Heung Yip Road, Wong Chuk Hang, Hong Kong Hotline: 25118211 • Email: eoc@eoc.org.hk Website: www.eoc.org.hk Office hours: Monday to Friday from 8:45 am to 5:45 pm Please contact the EOC if you need information regarding your rights under Hong Kong’s anti-discrimination ordinances and the complaint handling procedures.

Niru Vishwanath Equal Opportunities Commission

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Lord Buddha’s path to

wisdom N

gong Ping is a highland in the western part of Lantau Island, Hong Kong. It hosts Po Lin Monastery and Tian Tan Buddha amidst the hills and is about 34 meters tall. Buddhist literature in Hong Kong highlights the wisdom path at the foot of Lantau peak at Ngong Ping, through the "Heart Sutra." The Buddhist philosophy about wisdom is reflected in Hrudaya Sutra (Heart Sutra). This is a unique text part of the Prajnaparamita or 'Perfection of Wisdom' of Mahayana Buddhism. The text has been translated into English multiple times from Chinese, Sanskrit and Tibetan, and other source languages.

Heart sutras at Ngong Ping Wisdom Path is a landscaped installation of wooden

columns inscribed with calligraphy of complete verses of the Heart Sutra in Chinese by master Sinologist Professor Jao Tsung-I. Professor Jao completed this calligraphy of Heart Sutra in 2002 and dedicated it to the people of Hong Kong in June of the same year. The work is now presented in a largescale wood inscription display in an outdoor environment. The calligraphy has been carved on wooden columns reminiscent of bamboo tiles

(zhujian) used for writing in ancient times. The Heart Sutra articulates the doctrine of "emptiness." The column located at the highest point of the hill is left blank to suggest the concept of "emptiness" (Shunyata). A key theme in the Heart Sutra is that when one acquires this wisdom of "emptiness" (formless), they will realize that all physical and mental events are constantly changing. Modifying the conditions can change everything.

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Dual approach to Heart Sutra Awareness of impermanence and appreciation of our human potential will give us a sense of urgency that we must use every precious moment.

-The great Dalai Lama There's no denying that we will experience challenges that we have no control over. If we can face these situations knowing that nothing is permanent, we are more likely to handle and overcome them appropriately. Heart Sutra also highlights the theory of dependent origination, emphatically mentioning that people are entangled in this materialistic existence due to the nonrealization of dependent origination. Doctrinally, there are two ways in which this process of praṭyutptsamudppāda is approached. In one view, it is held to be something taking place over three lifetimes, and this view goes into the issues of rebirth and karma. My approach today is the second view, which I think is vital and alive, which looks at praṭyutapt-samudppāda as a way of understanding what happens in our world, inwardly and outwardly, on a moment-to-moment level. It's about what happens in our heart, what happens in our consciousness, and how the kind of world we experience and live in is created every moment. Based on the Buddha's statements, we can see a close relationship between the Four Noble Truths and dependent origination. What do the Four Noble Truths and

dependent origination have in common? The principle that both have in common is the principle of causality - the law of cause and effect of action and consequence. The first two - suffering and the causes of suffering, the last two - the end of suffering and the path to the end of suffering. Let's take an example that establishes the nature of dependent origination. The Buddha has said the flame in an oil lamp burns dependent upon the oil and the wick. When the oil and the wick are present, the flame in an oil lamp burns; if either of these is absent, the flame will cease to burn. This example illustrates the principle of dependent origination concerning a flame in an oil lamp.

Is there any way to achieve wisdom? Yes, we can explore the path in search of wisdom. The teachings of the Heart Sutra are profound and subtle, and we do not pretend to

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It is just like a mountain river, flowing far and swift, taking everything along with it; there is no moment, no instant, no second when it stops flowing, but it goes on flowing and continuing. So is human life, like a mountain river, The world is in continous flux and is impermanent.

Buddha understand them completely. This article is a mere introduction and an attempt to take away a handful of knowledge from the ocean of Buddhist philosophy. If you are looking forward to some positivity and motivation in life, then definitely visit Ngong Ping. One will return with an energized body and contended mind for sure.

Article by :

Sonal Kulkarni I am Sonal Kulkarni, a Law professional and also Yoga Practitioner.My journey of yoga started from KJ Somaiya Institute, Sanskriti Peetham, Mumbai.I completed Postgraduate Diploma and also Masters in Yoga Shastra and I am also learning yoga in Hong Kong.Throughout my journey of learning yoga, I realized that Yoga is not just about Asanas, mudras, bandhas, pranayama, but also its about the rich philosophy based on the ancient yogic scriptures which spreads light upon the concept of the overall development of human personality.Here in Hong Kong,I am staying over 4 years now and still try to explore the new places, Nuneries and try to understand great philosophies behind it.Wisdom path is the fantastic way of learning and exploring the gems of Buddhist Philosophy through the heart sutra.I am blessed to be in Hong Kong and learning about Buddhism again after my yoga course.

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Advocate

Dharmendra Damani A lawyer with good knowledge of the law is stronger than a hundred men with guns.

n July 2021, I came across a golden money-making opportunity through an old-time friend. He offered me a steal deal in which I was offered to buy a multistorey commercial property of around 2000 Square feet in a prime location in Mumbai, India. The value was unbelievable and well supported with authentic documents of land authorities,

government authorities, and municipal corporations. My friend and his partner portrayed an urgency of money due to some other business investments. They had both decided to liquidate the commercial property and use the money elsewhere for better investments. Being a money-minded person, I am always attracted to deals that come half the market price and stand in a prime location. For sure, you can't go wrong in making 4x times your investments with such a golden opportunity coming your way. Since the offer was too good to be true, I was a little skeptical and greedy, both simultaneously. The investment amount wasn't small, but the idea of getting a

property worth 6 million HKD for 2 million HKD was pulling me constantly. To scrutinize the deal, I visited the property several times and spoke to several people staying in the same area. All of them were mentioned precisely, as was presented to me by both the partners. The owners' names were the same as per the legal papers, the property valuation was correct, and also the property was already giving an excellent rental yield. Upon my first round of field checks, I collected copies of all the property papers from my friend, verified them personally one-on-one with the government authorities, and found everything perfect and legal. I discussed the proposal with my wife, and we both did a second round of meetings with the sellers. My

wife also felt everything to be genuine. I was about to seal the deal and arrange the funds when my sixth sense, or you can say an external heavenly voice, was still telling me that something was undoubtedly fishy in the deal. Listening to the external voice, I decided to consult a lawyer who can help me check all property documents and can also help me to process the entire sales purchase agreement. I contacted Advocate Dharmendra Damani through our building's legal case WhatsApp group. Adv. Damani was already handling a dispute between our society and our building developer. I already had a good image and reputation about Damani's legal firm, from how our society's legal matter was

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handled. Adv. Damani quickly gave me an appointment and discussed my matter patiently. Upon his request, I submitted all the property for sale papers and documents for his checking. After a few days, Adv. Damani requested a joint meeting with the sellers to discuss a few points with them. Overall, even Adv. Damani also felt everything was OK with the papers and title, and in principle, I can go ahead with purchasing their property. However, Adv. Damani was also not sure why the sellers were selling the property at half the price, wherein even if they would mortgage the property with any bank, they could get more than 50% of its valuation. Something was surely fishy. Adv. Damani and I met with the sellers and discussed all sales purchase clauses. While I was 90% sure that everything was perfect with the sales agreement, I arranged for 50% of the payment to be ready. Adv. Damani was still feeling fishy about the deal, so he asked for 3-4 days before we could sign the official sale-purchase agreement. These 3-4 days were crucial as they saved me from falling into a ditch. After four days of detailed investigation done by Adv, Damani found that the land on which the entire commercial building was developed, was land allotted to the sellers due to road cutting of their previous land. After road cutting, the sellers were supposed to get their new land in a total of 5 parts. The land on which this existing

Adv. Damani was still feeling fishy about the deal, so he asked for 3-4 days before we could sign the official sale-purchase agreement. These 3-4 days were crucial as they saved me from falling into a ditch. property was developed was built on three parts, and the allotment of two more parts was still not completed. The land sellers were officially and legally the owners of the land and property. However, since two parts of the land allotment were still not completed, I would never become 100% owner of the entire three parts of the land as the government had approved the land-based distribution on five parts and not just three parts. This was a highly complex detail to find out and something that even the sellers were unaware of. The property sellers, my friend, and his partner were not cheating or doing anything wrong, but they were also not aware of such a clause by the land registry department of Maharashtra. Adv. Damani researched this clause in depth by going through over 1000

pages of the land registry and allotment of land policy in Maharashtra. He also confirmed the same by personally contacting some officials from the related government departments. After rigorous rounds of going back and forth with my sellers, myself, and the government officials, Adv, Damani advised me not to invest in this property and land.

Imagine if Adv. Damani was not involved. I would have purchased the property, and I am still unsure if I would or would not be the legal owner. Hence, I say, one man with his expert knowledge in his field of law and good contacts is stronger than a hundred men with guns. As of now, Adv. Damani is handling two more legal cases for me, and I'm sure he will make me a winner in both.

Advocate Dharmendra Damani, is available for anyone in need of legal help in India. He can be reached at +91-9920102232 and is located at Damani & Damani Advocated and Legal Consultants, 8 Parasmani, Opp. Joggers Psrk, Chikoowadi, Borivali West, Mumbai - 400092, +91-2228994149 (Office), 28994145 (Residence), E-mail : damanianddamani@gmail.com, advdamani@gmail.com, www.damanianddamani.com Article by : Gaurav Pardeshi

Aunty

MVP 1 My name is Gayatri, and I live with my family in Tung Chung. Recently I lost my very close and best friend in India due to Covid. She was only 36 years old and unmarried. Since childhood, she was my best friend, and we went to the same school, same college, and even the same University. I wasn't closer to anyone else except her. Since she has gone, I have been getting dreams about her almost every night. Sometimes the dreams are pleasing, and sometimes it's about her death and funeral, and she is shouting at me that I didn't even attend her last rites. I am happy to get her in my dreams so often, but now it's getting too much. I love her, miss her, and want her to be remembered with our good memories and not come in a very depressing way in my nightmares. Please can you advise some practical solution to this problem?

At times, you might need someone to just listen and help you cope with your problems. Aunty is here to help! Poonam V Mehta

Dear Gayatri, Negative dreams of your loved one are common after loss.... After a one can expect you are experiencing many negative emotions and expect many of your dreams to reflect that. In my experience, many people who have negative dreams of the deceased are having issues with their unresolved anger or guilt.

Let us analyze what such a dream can mean and understand whether or not it has a role to play in real life. Dreaming about death is often considered unpleasant, and rightfully so, because it suggests bereavement. However, it can also have multiple meanings.

In simple words, death marks the end of someone or something. It could either be good or bad. Nonetheless, the end is a reminder of a new beginning. So, treat it as a silver lining to the dark cloud. And if you miss those people you love a lot, then get in touch with them, and stay connected. You may consider healing therapy as an option.

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2 Hello Aunty, I am happy that A-Desiflava has started this column again. I have always been sending my questions supporting the magazine and the column. I always have changed my real name and am always asking questions about my friends' personal problems, to whom I would like to reply on your behalf. One of my friends (I cannot disclose the name) is married and has two beautiful kids. She lives in Tsuen Wan with her family. Her husband has a trading business and is most of the time in China, almost the entire year. He is in China and hardly returns to HK for 15-20 days during Diwali and our kids' birthdays. For over six months now, her husband is currently stuck in Hong Kong due to the covid restrictions of traveling to China. While checking her husband's phone at night, my friend found out that he was having an affair with a Chinese girl and had another kid with his girlfriend in China. My friend is completely devastated and wants to teach her husband a lesson. To teach him a lesson, she is also going out a lot these days and is looking for some long-term or short-term hook-ups with other men. I told her that this would not be good for her children if they found out about it. But she is a complete revenge mode and wants to teach a lesson to her husband. Please advise a possible solution to her problem Aunty. Thanks in advance, and a big thanks to Gaurav from A-Desiflava Magazine.

M V P

Dear concerned wife, Being betrayed by your partner can induce rage to be devastating. In your confused state, your first instinct may be to punish your mate by trash-talking him to friends. In your case, you have thought of taking revenge by having an affair to get even. Thus You may get a temporary sense of satisfaction from these sorts of actions. Still, ultimately they can work against you, keeping you in a state of anger instead of focusing on healing and moving on, alone or together. Think before you tell your family, as well. They will likely have strong opinions about what you should do—leave or stay. But nobody else understands what goes on in another person's marriage. While you are pondering how you're going to proceed, it's best to keep the details private and perhaps get professional advice. Talk to your partner and hear his side of the story; ask him what drove him to plunge into this affair and have an illegitimate child. Share with him your emotions and the consequence of his act on his other children and the whole family. We all deserve another chance. We all make mistakes; give him love and understanding. Hear him out, refrain from digging a bigger negative hole. Betraying your husband is not the solution think of the consequence someday; your children may point the finger

at you for driving their father away. Don't walk the path of destruction; work hard on what you want with a positive mindset and appropriate support and advice.

“When things go wrong, don't go with them.” –

3 Hi Aunty MVP, my name is Radha (name changed) and I live in Lohas Park. I’ve had 3 miscarriages, and now I am completely losing the hope of ever becoming a mum. My husband also is quite depressed, but he does not express his feelings in front of me. I’ve tried all types

of spiritual, natural and unnatural ways of having a baby, but nothing seems to be working. I’ve been attempting IVF and also some other means of conceiving. My only option now is to go for a surrogate mother. Please give some advice on how I can overcome the bad feeling on my mind, that keeps telling me that I can never have a baby inside my tummy and it will be grown by someone else for nine months. I feel bad; how will my child feel when they know about this surrogate thing. Please share some valuable advice on overcoming this thought in my mind.

Dear Radha, It appears you have undergone every test possible to conceive. Your last option is to go for surrogate motherhood. Please note this procedure may entail many factors such as,

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• Mother is at least 21 years old • It is best if she has already given birth to at least one healthy baby, so they understand firsthand the medical risks of pregnancy and childbirth and the emotional issue which is involved; • Have passed a psychological screening by medical health professional to uncover any issues with giving up the baby after birth; • Sign a legal contract about their role and responsibilities with the pregnancy, such as prenatal care and agreeing to give you the baby after birth; • Is the contract enforceable should the surrogate mom change her mind? • Surrogate mothers should have their own doctor during pregnancy rather than use yours. Both you and your partner should clearly understand what your decision entails. There should be no doubt, fear, or guilt on this journey, as well as consider your anxiety for nine months of the weight of the baby's arrival. On this note, have you both considered adopting a child? In my opinion, it is a gift you are offering to the world. “Little souls find their way to you, whether they're from your womb or someone else's”

4 Hey A-Desiflava Magazine, I wanted to ask a simple question. When will I get married? I cannot find a suitable match in India and Hong Kong both. I am well settled in my career and profession. Every guy I meet through match-making sites is either not so well settled in their professional careers or is not good-looking. I am not getting that perfect match. For example, some guys who are extremely well paid and earn well are bad-looking and don't have good personalities. And those who are charming and good personalities are still not well settled compared to my professional earnings. What should I do, aunty? I am also getting old and almost reaching 40 very soon. I honestly just want to marry an Indian guy.

Dear Anonymous, It’s nice to know you are well settled in your career, and you need guidance to find a suitable marriage partner match. Your question doesn’t sound simple, yet it is rather tough and important. I have understood your concerns, There can never be a perfect match or married life. It seems you want a charming, handsome guy who is well settled in life. There is nothing wrong with that. It is every girl’s dream. Remember “all that glitters is not gold.” My suggestion is drop the external looks get to know the person’s inner qualities, if you find him compatible and if there is good chemistry between you both, then guide

him to climb the ladder of success. Gradually things will fall into place. In addition, if you believe in astrology then that may help. Finally, be open minded and mingle with more friends/ colleagues. Keep yourself in prayer.

If you ever need any advice come to Aunty for help. Please send us your questions by email to adesiflava@gmail.com with subject line : Aunty MVP In love light & healing, Poonam V Mehta President (M. Ed. Guidance & Counselling) Educator & Counsellor Be the Change HK Ltd Reg: under section 88 MOB: 9235-6628 www.bethechangehk.org

THEY SAID I AM

RETIRED. AGED. TIRED. BUT I KNOW

I CAN

AND

I AM READY.

LAUNCHING SOON...

K I D S

C O N T E S T

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ct 2021 Issue

Contest Winners of Sep-O Kids

Ajay Shreshta, Jordan, 8 years Christopher Senthil, Tin Shui Wai, 5 years Arya Nirmal, Central 9 years Adults

Ajay Mishra, Tung Chung Swati Fernandes, Tung Chung Bijoy Bannerji, Laguna City Please contact on 95433660 to claim your winner prizes

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Please send your entries in the form of a photo or scanned pdf to gp@aplomhk.com and put the subject line as

'Contest Entry Adesiflava Feb-Mar Issue'. The First 3 correct entries will each receive a

Xiaomi Bluetooth Speaker.

We will announce 3 winners for the adults' section and 3 winners for Kids section.

A D U LT

C O N T E S T

H O R O S C O P E

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ARIES

FEBRUARY & MARCH HOROSCOPE

You are still experiencing the same issues regarding money. At work, there may be benefit discussions, salary reviews, or budgeting issues. Remember, tax season is just around the corner. All you self-employed people need to start rounding up your receipts because the taxman cometh but real soon. I myself have a drawer I shove all my receipts into during the year, then walk across the room to my husband(and the numbers guy in this house) and let him do the tallying.

TAURUS Dear Taurus, you are entering a period of confusion or uncertainty at the beginning of February 2022.

Fortunately, this period won’t last all month, and the fog will lift. The positive possibility is that you glow in the light of the ideal at work or to people in positions of authority. At the end of February start gearing up for some career luck coming your way the first couple of weeks of March. Career is the best place to get lucky, and any news about you is good.

H GEMINI

Relationships. This is certainly the month for them, and for the Twins, this is a year of some major developments in all of your closest relations. There should be some happy announcements early in the month or at least something that gives you a nice belly laugh.

CANCER

Watch your energy output and try to maintain a balanced response to all situations. If you have been hiding your anger, be careful because it is about to erupt like a jack-in-the-box. Sometimes energy balancing problems can cause us to hurt ourselves, so be very careful. Surgery and hospital stays aren’t beyond the realm of possibility.

Your money situation is in focus this month, not only yours but your partners(including business partners). Something is unclear and you would do well to straighten it out now rather than later. Don’t be too disappointed if you get a practical rather than a romantic gift from your sweetie.

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LEO

H O R O S C O P E

The first of February is probably not going to be a lot of fun for the king of the jungle. Your luck is still magical and everything you touch turns to gold, it is just that you will have to work a lot harder at making it happen from here on out. Expect some unexpected insight into someone’s intellect or an unusual conversation to be part of your mid-month oddities.

VIRGO The first couple of February weeks are looking stressful for Virgo. This could be due to your partner hitting you with change after change lately. As the holiday of hearts approaches, it could be you who is causing all the surprises. Your energy is on your career and a short trip is probably needed to initiate a contract. If you applied for a job and haven’t heard back from them, you might around the 18th, give or take a few days either way.

LIBRA

The month starts out a bit rocky for the Scales. The higher-ups are blocking your progress or expecting too much. This is creating many opportunities for you to rethink your values, among other things. Make your honey a nice home-cooked meal if you don’t feel like fighting the crowds. You can look forward to your energy level picking up towards month’s end when you should take a long trip, go to a college athletic eventor apply for that scholarship.

SCORPIO Have you been losing things around the house lately? Or perhaps you keepmaking “Freudian slips”? Communications and the equipment surrounding them are likely to disintegrate this month. We all will have the opportunity for something unexpected to happen on the day of love, and you have a better chance of being at the center of something big than most.

H O R O S C O P E

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SAGITTARIUS Be careful in all of your communications during the first few weeks of the month because there is likely to be some major confusion. If you have to go on a short trip make sure and take a map because you areapt to get lost.

CAPRICORN

Luck is with you financially for a while yet, so take advantage of this rather conservative influence. As the month winds down you discover that one of the communication staff us you experienced early in the month actually was fortunate for you.

Looks like the family may have spent a little too much time together over the holiday and by now have managed to get on one another’s very last nerve. Everyone needs to just go to separate corners because things will lighten up considerably as the month progresses. You look good, and by mid-month,you will find yourself receiving a huge perk of some sort. This should occuraround the 18th, give or take a few days, but the happy energy will be hovering around you for longer.

AQUARIUS

There are a lot of secrets or closed-door conversations going on this month either by you or about you. If you are interested in creative writing now would be a good time to dream up that million-dollar storyline. There is a big mystery to be solved… are you up to the challenge of being lead sleuth? You are also due for some financial surprises as February slides away.

PISCES You are unclear about something, and this will have to be verbalized during the first part of February. Someone close to you is wounded somehow and you will be aware of the fact even though it is a secret. Another possibility is that you are having financial difficulties and your banker is not cooperating. Consider getting an update on your credit report and see what all of the fuss is about.

Reference: https://www.yearly-horoscope. org/february-monthly-horoscope/

All Are Equal All Are Different Accept Diversity To support and enhance the integration of ethnic minorities in Hong Kong To create an inclusive community that embraces cultural diversity, racial harmony and equality OUR BACKGROUND

International Social Service Hong Kong Branch HOPE Support Service Centre for Ethnic Minorities ﬁrst started providing services and programmes from May 31, 2009

PROGRAMMES AND ACTIVITIES FOR ETHNIC MINORITIES

Language Programme (Cantonese & English) Orientation and Familiarisation Programmes Integration Programme Cross Cultural Appreciation, Social Inclusion and Outing Programmes Personal Development Programmes - Skill Enhancement Workshop Employment and Career Support Services Programme for Families and Children Health Awareness Talk and Interest and DIY Activities Local Culture Sport Trainings Water Sports Training Chinese Language Enhancement Classes for Children Mutual Support Group Volunteers Training and Service Innovative Programmes Cultural Show Event

PROGRAMMES AND ACTIVITIES FOR ETHNIC MINORITY YOUTHS

Explore Hong Kong • Cultural Exchange • Social Inclusion Activities Community Events and Services • Skill-Based Training Classes Creative and DIY Activities • Team Building Programme Volunteers Training and Service • Youth Talent Show

ENHANCED PROGRAMMES AND ACTIVITIES FOR ETHNIC MINORITY YOUTHS

Uniform Group Activities • Expression Master • Career Development Activities Youth First Aid Training • Youth Mentoring Internship Programme Sports Training Programme • Innovative Programme for Youth