Vajrapani

Imagine..

Not being white, not being black, not being man, not being woman. Imagine not being Christian, Jew or Muslim. Then how would you be able to take sides or identify with either? You would just be you, and everyone else just like you too. Imagine you had no father nor mother, no brother or sister. Then the whole world would become your family. You’d have to get along. Imagine you had no country, no birthplace or were of any certain age. Imagine that your thoughts did not belong to you, nor your emotions being very personal. Imagine your body not holding you captive nor your mind ruling the roost. What would you be then? Who would stand up to be you? Can you imagine? It’s not easy, I grant you that, but it is what all realised saints and seers experience—the selflessness of being, the Anattā of Buddhism. Just close your eyes so you can’t perceive your form, do not use your memory, and tell me who you are? Can you tell me your age? Without peeking, without resorting to memory? So, you can’t attach time to your sense of being? That’s a good start. Now determine your gender, without looking nor using your recollective memory. Ahh so there’s no gender differentiation in being? Based on your experience of being itself you can’t qualify your sex? Good. Now see if you can conceptualise your size? Where do you begin and where do you end? Based on present experience alone. Without looking, without using memory. The sense of “I” you have, is it different from the same sense you had when you were five years old? Or when you were ten, or fifteen? Your body have changed dramatically since you were little, but not your sense of being. Does that mean there is no limit to who you are? Where is the cutoff point, to another? Or do you flow into each other, seamlessly? Overlapping or simply sharing the same sense of being, the same space? There being no delineation between you except from the arbitrary concept of me versus you? The whole drive with this exploration is to isolate the sense of “I”, devoid of and free from, all mind based recollection with its bias toward your body, person, name and age. Why is this such a fundamental shift in perception? It will allow you to see yourself free from an identification with thought and emotion, as they arise out of being itself. It will allow you to have some distance to your emotions so you’re not overwhelmed by them, nor will you let your random thoughts trick you to believe in them. You’ll realise your personal makeup is a conglomeration of conditioned phenomena and not who you are in essence. The more you learn about the conditionality of human beings the more you’ll be able to loosen the attachments to any one set of configurations, and be more free within your own set of circumstances. If you think we have just brought into the mix another subset of identity—of being nobody as opposed to being somebody, but to qualify this identity we must accept that it is not personal. So it is not something as opposed to something else. If you take on this sense of being as to connote who you are, you can no longer differentiate between people. We are then the same whether the other believes in it or not. Yet we still know we are as conditioned as anyone else so we don’t elevate our ego thinking we know more than them. That would completely screw up the original thesis of there being no one—no self there. Yet we can navigate, hopefully holding the middle way between opposites, seeing things in the largest way possible while being able to distinguish nuances in detail. You’d feel your own body in a new and novel way—you’d detect feeling from form with its unique characteristics. Each shape outlining its own inherent structure and feeling connected to it. Your body with its senses becomes like your over-garment, like a coat—and a multicoloured

one at that. A temple that houses your spirit, impersonal yet completely personal at the same time. Imagine that.

Scars

used to be badges of honour, evidence of bravery and experience. Not self inflicted pain relief but real battle incurred wounds. Young warriors would be ashamed of not having any. This attitude can sometimes be taken too far, where the talisman of scars become the idol that is worshipped, instead of granting credit to the act of courage that preceded it. Scars became adornments, that became tattoos in warrior cultures. Talismans for protection and encouragement they fulfil an important inner need to find identity. They’d serve as constant reminders and testimony of trials of the past, of shared victories and defeats—a visual track record of one’s life within the tribe, each scar telling a story to be passed on. Deep wounds and resulting handicap serve as reminders of our mortality and human fragility—an experience that should humble us—not bolster our ego. Scarred for life we say as a negative but like the tattoos that followed, they should be an adornment and reminder of life’s preciousness, a reminder of who we are beneath the skin. Growing up in affluent Sweden, wanting for nothing, we were sheltered from hardships and strife. Cushioned without our knowing we believed we were invincible. Travelling in the poorer parts of the world opened our eyes to the everyday pain and suffering of simply getting by. They do not wear their scars with pride but only as testimony to their struggles. Many of their tattoos identify with their own pain, self inflicted to remind them. How deep isn’t our relationship to our own story? Who are we? Why the graffiti on the walls of human flesh?

Remembering past lifetimes.

The Buddha is said to have recollected all of his past incarnations before his final enlightenment. That always strikes us as something impossible, difficult to imagine, as we never remember much, let alone in this life. Yet some express with confidence that they know of prior lives they’ve lived. Sometimes possibly reinforced by wishful thinking and added assumptions. I do not rule out the possibility of knowing but I’d like to impress the importance of staying true to your experience, not adding to it by assuming this or that. I had a not so ordinary experience some years back when newly awakened to my own spirit, I saw in a mirror my own body shape shifting into several other bodies, both female and male. As my body’s reflection metamorphosed into these unknown people I saw and knew instinctively they were all me. Yet there was no information about time. So I did not conclude nor inject that these were past lifetimes. No matter how appealing it can be to superimpose meaning to our experience it’s much better to leave it as it is. Just describe your experience without adding anything. When awakening to the spirit we will realise we all share the same fundamental nature, so when we are identified with the light of our fundamental nature, we will recognise ourselves in all others. Ie we will see ourselves in other peoples faces. In that sense, we are every other being—past, present and future. And since our fundamental spiritual nature is eternal and deathless it stretches back till the beginning of time, to the very beginning of creation itself. This can be experienced in rare moments of revelation, and

you’ll find that you yourself stem back, all the way back, to the Big Bang 13 billion years ago. And as such you’ll realise your own timeline is exactly as everybody else’s. We all individually hark back to the very beginning and we all will continue forever. This is what Jesus meant when he said: “Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I am.” My own first experience of this came when I met my teacher and guru for the very first time: “Sitting waiting for the evening satsang session to begin I looked at the people present, feeling/ sensing I knew all of them. I wondered why and suddenly I saw; they were all me. I was the only one in the room. This was so crazy, so funny, I could almost not believe it. After the teachings were over we all sat very quiet, taking in what Andrew had poured out on us. Again I was looking at everybody and felt a genuine love for everyone there and I felt a deep gratitude for being part of what was taking place. I had never felt such a love and gratitude in my whole life before. It was so beautiful.”Then there was the teaching in London that completely opened within me the experience of my own self stretching back to the beginning of time itself. That made timelessness an embodied experience and not simply a no-time (ie without time) experience. In that realisation we understand that we all, individually, have been alive since time immemorial. So we in fact embody the evolution of the universe itself. That is mind blowing stuff yet it’s true and seeing it in that perspective it’s not really about individual incarnations, but about the seamless thread of you existing since day one. What does this give you? It gives you a clandestine assurance of who you are, not only now but of who you have always been. It didn’t begin in this life, nor will it end with this life. An

infilling.

Just as you would fill a balloon by blowing air into it, you’d fill yourself and expand simply by breathing in. This phenomena can be accessed without the breath, energetically. Usually we do it in a two-phase sequence —we breathe in and then breathe out— one two. But just as it is with the infilling of a balloon, we can expand simultaneously with the in-breath, or even do it without synching it with the breath cycle, mentally. In/out together, at the same time. In Aikido we name this ‘Kokyu’ (lit. In and out breath), from which we derive Kokyu-ho (breath principle) and Kokyu-nage (breath throw). Maybe an undue stress has been laid on the breathing? Since we can access this dynamic simply by mental intent. For that purpose O Sensei used the term Inyo no ho (the principle of yin and yang). “Fill yourself with valorous Ki, even to the ends of the universe” can be an apt saying for the infilling of the spirit.

A Beginning and an End.

Like on a rosary, each bead is a mantra uttered—‘Om Mani Padme Hum’, round and round it goes without end. Yet each movement have a start and a finish, defined by the rhythmic chant and passing of the beads through your fingers. One after another the pearls on the string flow into each other. Pausing comes naturally in between, separating them slightly with your thumb. No need to rush as there’s no end in sight when the cycle repeats itself. In Aikido, our pace is determined by these rhythmical timings where we move with a beat to enhance the flow. Sectioned, we manage to slow it down in order to grasp the Way. The

more you manage to draw it in, contain it, we slow down time and movement itself becomes your mantra.

Who would have known?

The swastika (卐/卍) represents the north ecliptic north pole centred in ζ Draconis, with the constellation Draco as one of its beams. It argues that this symbol was later attested as the four-horse chariot of Mithra in ancient Iranian culture. They believed the cosmos was pulled by four heavenly horses who revolved around a fixed centre in a clockwise direction. The symbol in Sintashta culture, the swastika symbolises the universe, representing the spinning constellations of the celestial north pole centred in α Ursae Minoris, specifically the Little and Big Dipper (or Chariots), or Ursa Minor and Ursa Major. The swastika is drawn by visualising the Big Dipper/Great Bear in the four phases of revolution around the pole star. Now if that is our own vertical axis, from zenith to nadir, around which we rotate, spiral around as the whirling dervishes of Rumi’s mystical Sufi followers, and as the young female shrine priestesses—the miko (巫⼥), or shrine shaman maidens of Japanese Shinto, dance their Kagura-Mai; ‘dance of the gods’, —ritual performances of ecstatic trance to convey divine oracles, we see in its motion a universal event that correspond to the myths of esoteric knowledge left behind by ancient civilisations. The word swastika is derived from the Sanskrit root swasti, which is composed of su 'good, well' and asti 'is; it is; there is'. The word swasti occurs frequently in the Vedas as well as in classical literature, meaning "health, luck, success, prosperity", and it was commonly used as a greeting. The mirror-image forms are typically described as left-facing or left-hand (卍) and right-facing or right-hand (卐). In the mountains of Iran, there are swastikas or spinning wheels inscribed on stone walls, which are estimated to be more than 7,000 years old. The earliest known swastika is from 10,000 BCE – part of "an intricate meander pattern of joined-up swastikas" found on a late paleolithic figurine of a bird, carved from mammoth ivory, found in Mezine, Ukraine. “Standing over the Ame-no-ukihashi ("floating bridge of heaven"), they churned the chaotic mass with the spear. When drops of salty water fell from the tip, they formed into the first island, Onogoroshima (Self congealing island). In forming this island, both gods came down from heaven, and spontaneously built a central vertical support column called the Ame-nomihashira ("heavenly pillar") which upheld the "hall measuring eight fathoms" that the gods caused to appear. Izanagi and Izanami circled the pillar in opposite directions. From their union were born the Oyashima, or the "great eight ancestral islands" of Japan.”Tiānmén 天 ⾨ ("Gate of Heaven") or Tiānshū 天樞 ("Pivot of Heaven") as the precessional north celestial pole, with α Ursae Minoris as the pole star, with the spinning Chariot constellations in the four phases of time. Tiān, generally translated as "heaven" in Chinese theology, refers to the northern celestial pole (北極 Běijí), the pivot and the vault of the sky with its spinning constellations. The celestial pivot can be represented by wàn 卍 ("myriad things"). The Chinese character for wan (pinyin: wàn) is similar to the swastika in shape and can be appeared into two different variations: 卐 and 卍. As the Chinese character wan (卐 and/or 卍) is homonym for the Chinese word of "ten thousand" (万) and "infinity", as such the Chinese character is itself a symbol of immortality and infinity. According to Persian history,

Mithra was the god of the rising sun, of contracts, covenants, and friendships. Through his power, he controlled the changing of the seasons, kept things in cosmic order, ruled the rise and fall of kings, and protected his followers. Riding a chariot drawn by white horses, Mithra brought up the sun every morning as he carried a silver spear, a gold bow and arrow, daggers, and axes. Most especially, he carried a mace that proved his authority. As the Sun rises, the Moon sets. As the Sun sets, the Moon rises. Alternating the rotating cycle horizontally, the Yin and Yang, the outer limbs of our vertical body. The centrifugal and centripetal forces determined by the vertical spin of our central column, of the axis mundi. Now I have seen Tibetan Bon Shamanic circular dances with robes trailing, their sleeves double their needed length, making out, viewed from above, a swastika pattern as they swirl round and round. Or as a fire-wheel is spun, the flames making out the trailing arms. More and more am I attracted to this circular motion from within, to sustain everything without…

Reclaim.

Originality matters. Source texts and root meaning are vital to understanding. Watered down interpretations or full out replacements won’t do. Words describe what they represent and even more so in the ancient world, found in cave paintings and early hieroglyphs and later in the descriptive calligraphy of Chinese characters. Symbols turned into icons are keys into a forgotten world. Imagine trying to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak your language, how would you make sense? By drawing, by gestures, by sounds that are familiar. There’s a universality of our common experience that we share. Even hidden secrets and inner meanings can be found in the descriptive nature of words that so often are misrepresented by faulty translations or highjacked by modern usage. Reclaim then, the ancient symbols to their rightful place. But not just to some empty superficial interpretation, but to their deep significance and true meaning found within our own experience in both body and spirit. It calls for some soul searching and deep digging of the archives of the past.

I Create as I Speak.

Abracadabra—the power of the Word. Don’t just babble, wait for it, the right moment will give it away. It’s not really thinking on your feet and being a smart Alec but rather, not wanting to spill the beans, you wait till the moment prompts you. It’s appropriate and meaningful, not disrespectful nor hurtful. In Buddhism it’s “Right Speech”—one of the eight strands of the noble path. More mysteriously it points to the generic creation of something so new that even the universe have never heard its utterance before. It’s not speaking whatever comes into your mind, blurting out whatever you feel at any given moment. It curtails you in the beginning to some extent in order to stop the incessant flow of drivel we are used to, in order to replace it with wisdom and love. It can feel so awkward but learn to enjoy the silence that precedes your true expression. Hold that thought, let it linger, and see if you can go through the day only speaking when prompted from a genuine place within, without malice or regret, with love and care. Once you get used to it, you’ll see how it changes you. You might feel like a fraud at times but keep at it and the long lasting effect

will be noticeable. It’s a discipline and takes effort. It doesn’t stop you from speaking your mind but it does stop you from lashing out. The term "shingon" is the Japanese pronunciation of the Chinese transcription of the Sanskrit word "mantra", 真⾔ (zhēnyán) Kūkai classified mantra as a special class of dharani and suggested that every syllable of a dharani was a manifestation of the true nature of reality – in Buddhist terms that all sound is a manifestation of shunyata or emptiness of self-nature. Thus rather than being devoid of meaning, Kūkai suggests that dharanis are in fact saturated with meaning – every syllable is symbolic on multiple levels. One of Kūkai's distinctive contributions was to take this symbolic association even further by saying that there is no essential difference between the syllables of mantras and sacred texts, and those of ordinary language. If one understood the workings of mantra, then any sounds could be a representative of ultimate reality.

Crying is not everything.

If you’d measured freedom according to the amount of tears shed, everyone would be enlightened. Yet it’s not completely without merit. I remember fondly reading about the born Saint Sri Sri Anandamayi Ma, who in my book sets the standard of what spiritual realisation is all about. She exhibited tremendous power and wonders while alive and continues to touch and bless people all around the world still today. Anandamayi Ma had gone to see one of her devotees who’d just lost her infant child and was distraught with grief. Yet as her Guru was to visit she put on a brave face and acted the perfect host. Anandamayi felt her pain as if it was her own and broke down crying, becoming the little child that the mother just had lost. She wept in the arms of her devotee that now could release her own love, consoling her beloved guru like she would have done her child. To be free, to me, means to be human—to be able to be affected and touched by the reality of the situation no matter what it entails. If it’s real and truthful, gurus, priests, monks and nuns will cry, show emotion and exhibit empathy openly. It’s not a sign of weakness. Neither is it a badge of honour. The beauty lies in the compassion of the heart that dares to be what it experiences fully. Whether it be beauty, pain or fear, if it touches your core, your own freedom is never compromised. Rather it is highlighted and exhibited. This emotionality is never blind, it’s awake and naturally attuned to the present situation, where truth and love serve as the backdrop as well as the expression of the true sentiments. I recall hearing a father who’d just lost his son in a fire, and was beside himself with grief, that he had always believed himself to be strong (coming from a culture especially where men are meant to be tough and resilient) and now he found himself constantly in tears. The love for his child had broken the facade of strength and his heart was now revealed and exposed. In this way, softness overcomes hardness every time.

Power of the spoken Truth.

There are rare incidences where real truth breaks through the fabric of this reality. When it does, it hits you like a ton of bricks. It comes out of nowhere and shocks you instantly into recognition of the real state of affairs. It leaves you reeling. It’s gone as fast as it came,

leaving no remains to be traced. You’ll be visibly shaken, touched to the core of who you are. This expression of Truth can come about when it is in dire need to be revealed, like in a spiritual setting where the stakes are high. The Guru usually have this power of transmittance as a natural effect confronting ignorance or falsehood. Truth forces itself to be revealed against the confines and restrictions of confusion. This can also come about in spiritual dialogue between peers where truthfulness is desired and actively pursued. Freedom from ignorance is clear penetration into Truth itself. Cutting the veils of delusion are often dramatic and shocking, to the effect that we are ushered beyond ourselves into a hitherto unknown realm. These revelations can be very hard to take and therefore always cautioned not to be irresponsibly activated beyond its direct circumstances and context. The description and use of these supernatural weapons in the Hindu religion are severely curtailed by its providers. Rules and regulations monitors its use. I recall a personal account of one such event (though there’s been many others). We were having our weekly house meeting, the five of us, discussing our behaviour in the light of truth; what our attitudes revealed about ourselves, and if we were willing to face it without compromise. Being part of a spiritual community, this was our way to quicken the awakening process, to hold each other to account, to what was true. Sometimes it would be so close to the bone and truth would break through in the way we spoke. This direct feedback loop could be so accurate we were amazed at its power. The danger inherent in this expression is that it could become an ego booster instead of ego buster because of the power it emitted. We should never forget the love reason behind the direct revelation of truth. That’s the reason spiritual teachings always comes with a caution. If it’s real, it will affect your life.

Anandamayi Ma

How dare I say I love you, you blessed me beyond understanding and you are everything they say, and so much more. Now I recall yet another little thing that went almost without noticing. As it were it wasn’t on the face of it anything particular, something that could happen quite normally in India. We were in Haridwar, north India, where the river Ganges exits the Himalayas and begins its course eastward across the plains into the Bay of Bengal. My friend and I had spent a few weeks in Rishikesh, just upriver from Haridwar, in a meditation and inquiry retreat and were now on our way home, back down to Delhi to fly out. We’d taken the bus to Haridwar train station, bought our tickets and were milling about outside waiting for the train to depart later that afternoon. Lots of people around—hawkers, travellers, taxis, rickshaws, beggars, school children—just as anyone could imagine India— full and vibrant of life. The main road in town was busy, packed and congested. We had an hour or so before the train was due when a little girl came up to us with the cheekiest smile, spoke to us in Hindi and gestured towards her bare feet. I didn’t think much of it as having children coming up to you begging is common. It’s usually par of the course and never feels out of place. Of course, sometimes it’s heart wrenching when we see dire poverty staring us in the eye, but many times we see beautiful smiles and cheeky grins, lots of laughter despite harrowing circumstances. This girl was different. She was maybe twelve, I don’t remember if she wore a school uniform or not, but she had no shoes. Which, again, is not anything out of the ordinary. She kept wanting our attention and wouldn’t accept our gentle ‘thank you but no thank you’ dismissal. She gestured us to follow her, pointing up the street towards the

town centre. We relented and followed her. Her pace was quick as she darted ahead alongside all the street vendors and shops lining the road. Finally she stopped outside a shoe shop, waited for us to catch up and entered without hesitation. The store keeper looked like he was going to usher her out, but she wasn’t to be swayed, she had already picked out the shoes she had in mind—a pair of black shiny tiny, typical school, shoes with a little strap across the top. I was taken by the girl’s straightforwardness, her unsentimental unapologetic lightness. She wasn’t begging, she was just having us buy her a pair of shoes, as we should. We were only there to provide the payment. She hardly paid us any notice, she was busy trying out the right size. So just for good measure we threw in a pair of socks, as we stood with the shopkeeper as disarmed as he was by her resoluteness. We paid up and left the shop. The girl smiled and happy with her purchase ran down the street, disappearing before we knew it. She wasn’t running away, only getting on with her life. We had served our purpose yet we had been touched by something special. We stood there looking at each other, and as we walked back to the train station my friend said—“It’s her! Anandamayi Ma! I know it!” I looked at him and wondered. He was quite certain and excited, but I just left it as it was—an unusual event, sweet and beautiful, but nothing more. Though the girl did leave an impression. She had this feel about her, she was so level headed and mature, and cheeky at the same time. Something I’d already experienced with someone else a few years earlier, and why I had taken my friend to her Mahasamadhi shrine where she was laid to rest near the river. I always return to her mausoleum whenever I pass through Haridwar on my way to Rishikesh and beyond into the foothills of the Himalayas. Sri Sri Anandamayi Ma passed away in 1982 in nearby Dehradun. The most extraordinary female Saint that have lived in modern India, Anandamayi was recognised as the living avatar of Krishna himself. My own encounter with her left me with no doubts about the illusion of death, and that she lives on in one form or another: “As I walked in through the gates of her ashram I was glued to the spot, immobilised as I was paying my respect with a pranam, palms held together in reverence. She had passed away two decades earlier and been laid to rest in her ashram by the bank of the Ganges river in Haridwar, northern India. Her mausoleum was like a magnet to me. Her spiritual power still very much alive. For a long time I stood there, not able to move, letting her presence engulf me. Ma Anandamayi, had visited me a few years earlier whilst staying just up the river in Rishikesh. At night when I was struggling she had come as an apparition, knowing my predicament, absolving me of any fear I held onto. In India they call this kind of visitation a Darshan, a spiritual blessing from a realised being. Death have no hold over us, and spiritual guidance is always available. Now yet again she held her sway over me. I was staying alone in the Shivananda Ashram in Rishikesh and tried to meditate in the evening in my room but found it very difficult to concentrate. I was at a loss of how to proceed and felt unable to muster up the energy needed to pursue my spiritual practice. I felt desperate. Sick and disillusioned with my weakness I cried out for help silently within. Almost in tears I fell asleep. Not long time after, I awoke, my eyes repeatedly opened and closed automatically. I was conscious that a path was being cleared when Sri Sri Anandamayi Ma suddenly came to me. She flowed towards me in her elderly female form and I held out my hands saying, 'don’t come close, I’m dirty'. She embraced me and I knew that if she would come into my life there would be no more fear. She came and the whole universe followed as her shadow. How blessed I was from this. I had cried out in spiritual agony to no one in particular in this little room and she

came in person to bless and help me. In the contrast to the divinity displayed my own insignificance was so evident yet she didn’t hesitate.”

Bathing in the Ganga.

First time. Is like baptism. You don’t know it but it will hit you. Wherever there’s a river I want to swim. Especially among the mountains. Cold and challenging. Early morning is best as there’s no one around. Just you, the water, and the mountains. There’s always hesitation. Like a lover about to make love. In reverence maybe, or in doubt? Fear of the unknown? This time there was no fear. Midday, brilliant sun, heat simmering off the ground as we walked the gravel road north along the left bank of the river. Finding the best beach away from Lakshman Jhula, upriver a mile or two. A few of us were going for a swim. First time in the Ganges. I had no expectations and simply looked forward to a refreshing dip in a beautiful river. Our group had been on a retreat so we all were spiritually inclined yet I had no special notion about the Ganga as a Holy River, revered by millions of Hindus, to be anything but a normal bath. Hanging out on the sandy stretch of beach in the sunshine, nature surrounding us, was so tranquil. Swimming in the midday heat the water is warm and welcoming. Picking up our belongings later that afternoon we headed home, walking with my friend just conversing when I feel this elated sense of being. I’m walking on clouds, freed up beyond the normal sense. It’s so pronounced I mention it and my companion agrees he share the same thrill. Unexpected but wonderful I’m amazed at the significant effect the bath must have had. Much more than the expected refreshment you get from a river plunge normally. Happily surprised I suddenly look at mother Ganga with different eyes. This was the first of many occasions I’d revisit her strands, at different times and at different places. Always a pleasure but none like the first time. Baptism is the preferred word to purification. As it refer more to the blessing than the cleansing aspect. A glass half full, instead of half empty, and my cup was indeed full, even overflowing. Some years later I had the chance to travel all the way to its source in Gangotri, where it exits the glacier deep in the mountains. It was early spring but of course we had to dip. As I waded out into the freezing glacial waters to my waist I knew I had to do three ceremonial full body immersions Hindu style. Coming out, almost screaming from cold, people on the banks shouted I have to do seven dips. Usually three is standard but up here, at the source of the Ganga, seven is the required amount. Geez wiz omg and explicatives I managed to do another four. Cold water ablutions certainly wakes you up, cleans out the cobwebs and empties your mind of all things unnecessary. And what better place to do it is the Garhwal Himalayas.

Stopping with Ki.

It’s kind of discombobulating. You wonder why? Not the confused part but why are they doing it? Do they know they are doing it? Do they want to teach you something? Or are they just sabotaging your attempts? Why? Is it done with good intentions to increase the workload and up the stakes? Is it an unconscious reactive preservation move to remain in control? Or like some call it, is it just being a dick? Either way, we need to become aware of what’s going on. We need to feel deeper than what our surface first touch contact gives

away. We need to be honest and open about our intentions. If you’re willing to help we can actually imbue the correct movement in Nage. Instead of stopping them, we can guide them with the help of the feedback loop that returns into them as we receive (do ukemi) with our body. This two way approach should inform both parties as to what is going on. The most skilled one will take the lead in adjusting and calibrating the disconnect, either as Uke or Nage. This method is for training and not meant for fighting, though I do believe and would like to hope this augmentation can be an effective way to quell and neutralise aggression, as it supplies what’s missing in the apparent conflict—a bridge to let excess force escape. This is what I would call masterful use of Aiki. Is stopping, blocking and resisting warranted in training? I’m not sure. Does it matter if you use Aiki to hinder someone execute a technique? Or is it the same as stopping with brute force? In Iwama back in the day, many tried to stop each other as a way to build stamina, endurance and strength. It was part of the young men’s game, the coming of age, of hard training. It was part of the landscape in Iwama. As I could not compete in strength with the big guys, I would simply unbalance instead. Then I would get looks of disapproval as it was not the “correct” way to train. So one way was fostered being the “right” way, shaping the Iwama practice in the dojo to some degree. Everyone did not agree with this approach and fortunately we could always look toward Sensei for guidance. His technique was never “hard”. It was measured to perfection. He never cancelled anyone’s performance by stopping, not with force nor with aiki. He taught us firm and solid technique with no slack but it never felt hard. These days I take my cues from Dan Harden trying to learn the internal system required to create a connected aiki body. I’ve also had my first taste of Joe Brogna and Howard Popkin and their internal DaitoRyu Aiki Ji jutsu. Their application is soft but devastating if they so choose—hard but soft in the best possible way. I would always say, if hard go soft, if soft go hard. Find the nuance that works.

Breaking the Ice.

In the Nordic countries we break the ice in the winter to have a dip. Sometimes the ice is 20 centimetres (10 inches) thick, strong enough to carry a car. We drill four holes and then use a saw to get a square hole, push the block underneath the ice and you’re set. Sit in the sauna and get warm and hot before jumping in. Many times the water is much warmer than the air above so the shock is not as big as you might expect. Overnight the hole freezes over but it’s easy enough to break open the next day. Likewise once you’ve made a breakthrough into the spiritual world it doesn’t take much to revisit it, even though the conditions might be icy and cold. Keep attending that entryway and it won’t matter if the rest of the world are in hibernation in the darkest and coldest winter, and the ice frozen all around. What matters is your heart, every day keep prodding that thin crust to break the spell for it to remain open.

Riai Aikido

The synthesis of empty-handed Aikido and its weapons; bokken and jo, is called Riai. The two kanji (理合) that make up the word are Ri (principle, truth) and Ai (matching, meeting). Ri

(理) is composed of two other ideograms: Oo (王) (meaning king, sovereign - therefore representing something absolute) and Ri (⾥) meaning an ancient unit of measurementtherefore something verifiable, measurable. The kanji translates to: logic, reason, principle, truth. In other words, in budo, riai is the underlying principle behind a technique. We are not speaking here about two systems blending together to become one, but rather, one principle flowing through everything we do and touch. Riai is not matching practices of two, three or more arts into one system. It is discovering the underlying principle that will imbue any art we put our hand to. It will inform the way we move and the way we perform, with or without weapons, with or without a blade. Aiki runs through it all. The weapon exercises are always presented as sharp clear lines, direct and precise, while the taijutsu can seem a bit more rounded and circular. Yet regardless of the manner of the art, aiki has to be employed. Once it is incorporated it will fuel every style and temperament. For example, a “swordhand” (tegatana) doesn’t cut and neither does a bokken, but a blade does. They perform differently but they all must perform with “aiki” if it is said to be the Riai of Aikido. If not, it can’t be said to be Riai at all. Aikido comes from the sword they say. So how do you demonstrate the aiki through the sword (bokken or shinken) to make it comprehensible in the body techniques? And how do we “forge” our body to display this principle in everything we do? Riai aikido can only become a reality when we understand and grasp (embody) the principle of Aiki. Before then it’s only a superficial matching of movements and lip service to tradition. Riai then, is an accomplished skill and understanding, not simply a system that combines different arts.

Sincerity.

How does it look like when it’s on all the time? Not just when it suits us? If we’ve made up our mind how can we change? Can we listen to each other despite our differences? Sincerity asks of us not to be judgmental and further, to see with the same eyes, enacting the freedom all human beings have to be who they are. We will stop violence in all forms, yet when appeased we let up on our hold—just as we would restrain a friend until he’d regained his senses. Excess power never serves its purpose. Just right is perfect. Power here refers to self-power, the power you have to side with, and favour your own ideas. Like we all do to some degree or other. Yet sincerity asks of us to question our own biases and asks of us to grant as much freedom to the other as we do to ourselves regardless of preferences. If you’ve ever met such a person you’d have been shocked at the freedom experienced in yourself. It’s extraordinary how another persons sincerity affect our own self. Be that person. Because like it says in the Bible, in Matthew 16:19 Jesus says, “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” This a profound statement of how our conduct affects other people you come in contact with. Jesus speaks about how his disciples sincerity will either bind or free those they meet. He speaks of the importance the truth has as the measure of sincerity. Sincerity then, is the amount of love you confer on another without condemnation, as Jesus showed to the person crucified next to himself. How much love do we all have? Your sincerity will tell you. Merry Christmas ya’ll.

When you meet the Lord

You are free. You walk into his presence and you are with him where he is. Everything changes and nothing changes. The acceptance you feel is more of an astonishment that you actually can see him. He’s so glad you stopped and looked, and I did recognise him from before. The first time I came by he did not look up, slumped by the tree he was immersed in the conscious bliss that pervaded the clearing yet knowingly fully aware of our presence. Everything seemed to slow down so I could take the whole thing in. I didn’t slow my pace as we strode passed him on our way along the path. The little boy only had a loincloth to cover his brown skin. His carer, or emissary, stood by not far off chatting quietly with a local man. They paid us no attention as we walked by. I registered everything. I thought, I could make a choice here and now to stop, to stay with him and never leave. Yet I also knew he’d be with me wherever I go. Now I only need to remember this time and he’s with me again. This bliss and effulgence comes over me as his presence pervades all who sees him. When we meet the Lord you’ll know you have a bond that lasts into eternity. This, to me, is sincerity.

How is it possible?

That a child born can affect mankind? Simply by coming into being? Rumour had it that a saviour was born in Bethlehem. What was all the fuss about? Why would the king care? Were the signs that big? Is it all a backstory created in retrospect? To give credence to the later claims? To be fair, given the context of the coming of the Jewish messiah, the narrative fits the God given history of Israel. The event is given the largest possible meaning for Jesus to take and pass on the torch of Moses and Abraham for the saving not only of Israel but of mankind itself. A relay from the beginning of time that started way back when Adam and Eve left the comforts of Eden behind. Jesus was to be the new Adam—the first man, even the son of Man—son of God. Now all this responsibility laid on this child without his knowing. Yet simply by being born, mankind was released. This is the Christmas miracle. We actually don’t need the later revelations and feats he exhibited nor his teachings. All is contained in him coming into being. That’s why Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace. For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations: a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel.” Now, that is Faith. But is it only belief in the desired hope? Or is the conviction based on something more? On something real? That Simeon apprehends in the moment? It will always be difficult to convey something internal, subjective yet still true, unless you yourself experience something similar. But if we dare to believe people’s testimonies we can entertain a curiosity toward such claims and endeavour to realise them ourselves. It’s not impossible to have supernatural insights and revelations fall onto you if pursued. It’s all about context. How large do you choose to make it? Keep it small and it’s simply a newborn baby in a stable. Make it big, and it’s a brand new beginning. Your choice.

Spirit gives Context.

Not only to our individual lives but to the universe as a whole. It’s the context that frame our existence. In all things, from the smallest to the largest. So of course O Sensei had to find a framework that fitted his art. Having had been religiously schooled he already knew the context of his martial studies—based on the culture of the samurai—on its warriorship and ethics—and he pursued its excellence. But once you pursue the Spirit that lies behind all things you will be in need of guidance. Oomoto-Kyo and Deguchi became O Sensei’s mentors. Oomoto-Kyo was famous for its spirit possession and attracted thousands of followers through its hands-on effective methods; chanting, purification, spells and incantations, and would literally move people into altered states of consciousness. ChinkonKishin, the prescribed method of reaching tranquility and insight through meditation became the take-home remedy for longing souls. Homemade Japanese cultural heritage appealed to the masses as well as to O Sensei. His no nonsense hands-on Aiki training took no prisoners and as such Deguchi trusted him as his personal bodyguard. O Sensei’s art was now firmly set within a perfect context within a spiritual community. Each one of us have to define the context within which we live. We may simply adopt the reigning cultural perspective that our modern man lives under, or we may seek it out for ourselves. Looking for self identity has very much to do with finding context to our lives. Who are you and where do you fit in? The question is how large will you throw your net? You can increase the context to your exact liking or throw out all the stops and see where the limits are set. Our religious heroes set the bar real high and why not?—Shoot for the stars… And all the hype is not just empty praise, there is truth to many of the claims. The context has to be immense, in order to contain all that has come before and exist now. It’s just a matter of how much you’re able to deal with.

Never give them a broom,

When they ask how to clean house. Don’t provide a soap if they want to wash. If they want to be strong, don’t tell them to do push ups. If they are hungry don’t feed them scraps. Point them in the right direction and see if they go. There are no easy fixes nor fast handouts. Questions of the heart takes research, time and patience. Knowledge comes from experience, tried and tested. Insight, mindfulness and wisdom are slow in the making, are never rushed nor are ever satisfied with ready made answers. Every person follow their own path. I prefer not to tell them what to do but I always insist to look past the superficial directly at the heart—Who are you and how do you live. To become conscious in the moment sets everything straight. From there you know what to do. If you want answers you’ll seek them out. Patiently, diligently, sincerely. Humbly. You’ll put the work in, and we’ll discuss the outcome. Just as the rider who would not get off his horse to ask his questions to the sage and was met with silence, answers do not readily appear if in a rush. Yet the campfire burns all night for those who stay awake. We have a lot to discuss.

Dojo busting.

In the old days it was known that teachers could be challenged in their own place, and if they lost the fight they’d lose the dojo together with its students. Similarly, religious communities could be usurped by superior teachers where the defeated teachers and their disciples became followers of the proven master. This has quality control written all over it. It was a “natural” way to submit to greater knowledge, to ensure the greater degree of accomplishment would prevail. Acknowledging defeat at the feet of greater wisdom was a sign of humility and proper conduct. Realising the truth of any teaching means we must accept and give it the credit it deserves. We can’t be mean hearted and stingy once we see the truth of it. Many, once they met the Buddha, had no choice but to give up everything and follow him. Therefore he was nicknamed the “widow maker” by some. These conversions were never forced but was the natural inclination of one who’d seen the truth for themselves. We’re not meant to deny our own experience, especially if we are truth seekers. It’s not personal, nor bound by culture or creed. There’s no safety for the religious aspirant—you might have to go where you don’t want to go. There’s no telling where you’ll end up. Truth cuts to the core of who we are, and no self-identity can stand up to it. “35 The next day, John was standing with two of his disciples. 36 When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!” 37 The two disciples heard him say this and followed Jesus. 38 When Jesus turned and noticed them following him, he asked them, “What are you looking for?” When, and if, you meet your spiritual teacher, you’ll feel this spiritual pull, the tug at the heart. Very difficult to deny when your time has come.

Chinkon Kishin

Was used by Omoto Kyo to create a state of receptivity through the calming meditative exercise of Chinkon—and by doing so returning to a deeper self; our divine essence; Kishin. Finding calmness in oneself through quietening the mind and done in a group setting generated a field of allowance, communally and individually, that accessed the spirit realm that Deguchi was familiar with. The collective consciousness was affected by the beliefs and myths of the day, reinforced by the mystical influencing and personal power of Deguchi. Creating a potent brew for the subconscious to emerge and for spirit possession to occur under the guidance of trained mediums. The first premise was to break open into the spiritual realm, so people came to realise there existed a supernatural plane where they played a part. That would free them from a wholly materialistic worldview and lead them unto a spiritual path of purification. Spirit possession was meant to free the person from hidden obstacles and unwanted influences by making them aware of the interior world but also to gain help and strength from the spirit world. Chinkon kishin was meant to establish a relationship between the person and the spirit world that would serve as the foundation of their life. We can see the utter reliance O Sensei gave to the kami he prayed to on a daily basis—his inner communication with his own interior. Which he then expressed outwardly through his Aikido, connected physically, mentally and spiritually with the divine world. Chinkon kishin was not a self help method to gain some kind of personal power, like maybe some of the later physical exercises related to it makes out, but more a method to introduce a genuine seeker into the spirit world, the subconscious or underlying nature of our true

being. It was meant to open a passageway for the aspirant to gain access to his or her own interior. This was very much a mentored process, where your spiritual guide would help in securing a foothold in the spirit world, until you’d established yourself. That’s why there much importance laid on the mediums conducting the spirit trances and possession. As the practice evolved less importance was given to the mediated spirits and its sometimes dramatic manifestations and more emphasis was given to the calm and collected mind gained from becoming more familiar with the deeper access to one’s spirit, or essence. Also as Deguchi’s influence vaned in time, his power also subsided in the stirring of the subconscious. Just as rings on water grow less and less strong as they spread outwards. We can understand that the Japanese religious mentality never wholly separates the spirit realm from our own worldly existence, nor do they seldom separate it from an ultimate absolute truth. The kami bridges all three realities in one, and combined are made to feel very familiar to us in our daily lives.

Spirit driven.

If you’re not excited it’s probably not it. It never lets up nor should it. Like insisting stabbing a spear into empty space. Trying to pierce the veil of illusion I end up churning the clouds, parting the heavens, stir up trouble. Some use a sword to separate truth from falsehood, bone from marrow, to cut through delusion. With a double edge to slice both ways—both you and me, to tear us apart. These days tradesmen use power tools to drill through the most stubborn of surfaces. Piercing rock, metal and wood with ease. Planting dynamite to break up the bedrock of existence if needed. They used to call it the diamond cutter—that’s how hard they considered the ego. The illusory veil can at times feel like an impenetrable iron curtain, but breaking up is less of power than of infiltration. Spiritual insight is heartfelt. If you’re not thrilled by the truth you’re most likely not touching it. The wonder of revelation is mind blowing and will leave you in awe. No matter what Faith you belong to, or if you don’t subscribe to any, once you come across truth you will be moved. So that means, regardless of who you are you will recognise and feel the impact of genuine insight. But if we remain insular, we won’t allow truth in, unless it comes in the shape we want or are used to. The great thing with truth is that you’ll be able to extract it like you would gold from any goldmine, in any place that have truth embedded in it.

Meditative insight tips if you can’t sleep.

At night, early in the morning, breathe in, breathe out, till you go quiet within. Anapanasati, mindfulness of breathing, is the Theravada way. Samatha, or tranquility, is the peaceful resting in the here and now, the first stage of the practice of Vipassana—insight meditation. The calm abiding mind becomes the ground of being upon where all things show up. Let the focus on the breath settle the body, one-pointed concentration still the mind, and gentle attention keep the posture; this is the method, the setup for insight to fall. Sitting still mimics the immovable mind, but once you find it, with practice, you can carry on doing whatever you do without losing touch. It’s a matter of the heart and you’ll be able to return at will whenever you feel lost or distraught.

The setup is the precursor for success: Clarity of intention and motivation—context and reason. Patience and vulnerability, effort and will to see it through. Stillness of mind is the basis for movement, for all activity.

Consecrated action.

Every word, every move gives it away. We find it highlighted in the arts, sanctified in religion, and consecrated in ceremony. We see it in our daily routines, in our morning rituals, we hear it in the sound of our common parlance. I see it in nature—the elements competing for attention; the rain making us fall in love again, the sun breaking in to steal the show but being itself overcome by nightfall. The moon and the stars take over, having us dream of tomorrow. Solid earth greets us when we wake up. The forest floor, the trees and birds all come alive. The mountains and the seas, the depths and the heights, all biased to whom is the most beautiful to behold. The mist will cover it up just as the veil is a lure to draw you in, spellbound by its hidden secrets. Life—as we know it, emotions and thoughts, our internal seas and skies, time ever new. God bless.

An active involvement in the waking up process.

It’s essential to nurture and sustain your spiritual growth with an active participation in spiritual work and practice. You need to engage in an ongoing investigation of your spiritual nature if you want to come to a conclusive and personal relationship with the divine. If you want to be independent in the teachers dispensation you must come to a final reckoning within yourself. In order to do that you must understand what ego is in the absolute and spiritual sense. And you must come to full surrender of it, in order to be able to stand free, alone. Only then will you be able to join others in a shared mystery, of an independence of mind, in a revolutionary context of selfless being. This is the goal of a spiritual life, not lived for yourself but for the other in communion. Religion gives this context within their teachings and you can join one or another but then you must conform to the context set by them. If you choose to go at it independently you will be able to share their brotherhood or sisterhood in heartfelt resonance yet not be bound within their order. You will realise the freedom and difficulty of communicating this secret as it has no resting place besides your own inner knowing. You’ll rely on nothing but on truth itself and in that we will meet as one. Hasten then, and don’t be tardy.

Past, present and Future.

The Buddha said; if you want to know who you were yesterday, look at yourself today. If you want to know who you are tomorrow, look at yourself today. Meaning today is the sum total of what has come before, and what we do today affects tomorrow. Yesterday contains all there ever was. So though you only can find fulfilment in the present moment, if you know your past it will be immensely enriched by it. Taking all history into account you no longer need to escape it in order to be free here and now. The Buddha never left the past behind,

he was endorsed by it. By knowing our past and reaching full insight we simultaneously not only free ourselves but our whole past as well. Then the history will serve us today as everything is backed up. Nothing is out of context. Being here and now is then no longer an escape from your past, but instead a living testimony of it. And how do we know our history? —In the same way they knew it —by their own experience!

Be Here Now.

The more you can fit into the now, the greater your experience. Instead of cutting off the past and the future, why not include it? Enlarge your sphere of reference to include all time. Then you’ll never be in want again. You’ll feel like the past follows you like your shadow but not as a negative. Rather, it’s the whole universe with its full history trailing behind. Be that as it may, but it has to be that way if you’re gonna have any part in its telling—from where did you come? and to where are we going? These are the floodwaters that sweeps over every generation, spilling their stories like driftwood onto our shores.

If the shoe fits, Wear it. The truth is a hard thing to accept and many do not. Admit partial liability possibly yes but full responsibility never. Why is it so? Because facing the truth and taking the full weight on your own shoulders goes against the grain. The ego must have a scape clause. The ego can never, unless truthfully found out, admit defeat. The ego knows once he surrenders he can never come back. That’s why he will fight tooth and nail never to own the full truth of himself. Joint blame he can always accept as a good measure of political correctness escaping the spotlight, using the ‘nobody’s perfect’ argument, or ‘he did it too’. It takes massive pressure to break the ego. You have to isolate it, corner it and expose it. But the crucial point, is that you have to want to give it up. It won’t go unwillingly. You must be ready to surrender, and that can take a long time to come to terms with. Questions like ‘what does it mean?’, ‘what will I do?’ etc. The pressure has to build to an irreversible point where there’s no other way to go. Your life will be on the line. That’s how the ego will experience it; literally facing its own death. Myself I had a dream—I saw my body floating face up in my own blood in an open sarcophagus. The coffin was raised from the floor, laid in a dark solemn tomb, peaceful and quiet. Once in a lifetime moment they say. It’s coming to terms with who you are. In the most absolute sense of the word. It’s a spiritual fight, a deep existential quest, that will give you a firm foundation in truth alone. Then the maxim of ‘dying to yourself’ will make sense, and every day will seem new and fresh. The need to be is broken. The ego has lost its edge. It has not vanished but it has lost its supremacy. Maybe this never feature in many people lives? But to some it does matter. To some it’ll feel like your life depends on it. Nothing will change unless you come to terms with it. Facing your own death, sooner or later. Awakening to your true self is but the first beginning step of consciously walking your spiritual path. Surrendering your ego is a completely different level of engagement that you will have to face at one point along the way. Ego is multifaceted and difficult to pin down so it usually takes years to discover and learn of its shift changing chameleon nature. Unless there’s pressure it will mostly go unchallenged. Add pressure and

you’ll begin to see how it slips and slides to avoid confrontation, or it rages up in its own defence, lashes out and try to turn the tables. Natural humility is a great helper. Love is another. They can break the spell of the separate ego and sometime even completely undermine it. And really it is what the ego only ever will surrender to and go willingly, because of the trust. Reciprocal.

A true relationship is reciprocal, a two way communication without which it falls silent. In Aikido as in life, response is everything. Before, during or after is a much talked about strategy in Bushido, of how to apprehend your enemy early, simultaneously or late in the confrontation. O Sensei did away with those distinctions and pointed towards a unified experience that moves as one. He spoke of matching the situation and of setting yourself right. There is in Japan an unspoken rule that you don’t question authority. If you don’t like it, just leave. But in the teacher/student relationship this motto serves a purpose. Especially in O Sensei’s Aikido. By being an exemplary uke you’d get to feel the exact response and simultaneous movement of the teacher and by that feeling his skill of matching and of harnessing the movement. Just as a mirror would capture your exact movements as they occur. In the Bushido way this is not a consideration. It seeks no relationship with its opponent. It kills with no thought of the other. Unity for this warrior only refers to his own composure and to his own allegiances. Yet in his dealings with friends he must reciprocate if he care to keep his relations. O Sensei spoke of the spiritual prerogative in any response, to cut down and do away with the evil lurking inside. As a spiritual warrior his response was towards untruth and falsehood. The attacker’s state of ‘blindness’ is replicated in the dojo in training by uke. Acting as attacker he breaks the harmony of the natural unity that exists prior to any altercation. O Sensei would sense this dichotomy just as a mirror would reflect any motion in front of it. This does not only refer to physical movement but to mental states and intentions as well. O Sensei would detect any ‘falsehood’ in people and respond accordingly. So this would mean that if you approached O Sensei with a divided mind, with an egocentric mindset, he would immediately respond to that dichotomy in order not to encourage it, by possibly simply ignoring you, or by deterring and remonstrate what you say. Budo is simply the physical manifestation of a spiritual prerogative that seeks truth-hood and realness in its interactions without ego. Of course, without a skilled foundation in the technical and mental applications of the martial side, no amount of knowledge will suffice to stave off a physical attack. Similarly we need to be deeply rooted in spiritual wisdom and insight to be able to respond like a mirror with true conscience and care, immediate and effectively. Yet any real engagement rests on the sincerity of the two parties. When both parties line up without ego, without selfishness, like two mirrors facing each other, then the echo-like quality of immediate response becomes the dynamic interchange that is both enlivening and creative. This is when reciprocity comes into its supreme purpose, when the interchange, in Aikido or in dialogue, reaches beyond the individuals involved and manifest a third quality of not only unity and oneness but of a revealed living spirit essence that comes forth in power. Jesus said, when two or three meet in my name… That’s what it’s all about!

Before, now, or after?

When do you rather wake up? Before the bell rings, or after? I remember sensing it, waking up the moment before it rang and turning it off. Then I was out of the bed and in the shower before you could twitch. These days not so alert but the sensitivity still remain. The alarm we use just in case, as we don’t trust ourselves. We mark our important events in the calendar, notches on the wall to count the days. To remind us. To steer by. Ceremonies and rituals to engrave upon our soul the significance of auspicious events, to remind us of fleeting recollections of interior milestones, of supernatural activities, of a gradual awakening. Outer confirmation of an inner journey scheduled from birth to death. Most of the time the timelines are not in sync, but it doesn’t matter whether you wake up before or after the alarm has gone off as long as you awaken. The inner journey is the real thing and the ceremony only its confirmation. This body of ours is itself the ceremonial vessel of our soul as we pass through life. It holds all the memories, all the passages, etched into flesh and bone.

Despair

The sibling squabble. The hierarchical order within a family or institution is not always easy to navigate. First on the scene, some arrive before others. Tough, but that’s just timing, it can’t be helped. So we have older and younger, before and after, early birds and latecomers. Sempai and kohai. The order will never change. Is it down to random chance or predetermined destiny? Does it matter? Does it not? Firstborns used to come with birthrights—first come, first serve. Just luck or predestined? First in line for the throne or for the sacrificial altar? Respect your elders and honour your brothers and sisters. The natural order and hierarchy doesn’t need to be an obstacle. Forgiveness goes a long way to reconcile our differences. Family is blood and can be respected and loved as such. You can’t change the facts but you don’t need to be bound by your own ties. Free yet part of a biological ancestry that you’ve had no say in. Just as you had no say in being born in your country or on this planet. First, second or third in line, it doesn’t matter. We’re just another one on the conveyer belt of life, following billions of others that came before us. I had an aha-moment many years ago when after growing up and finding my own independence I complained to my neighbour that my mother was still treating me like her child. I thought that now when I was an adult she should treat me like any other grownup, as equals. Especially, I thought proudly, since I’d found my own spiritual freedom that made it clear that we all were basically the same in spirit. So I felt exasperated to still be treated as the son. My neighbour just looked at me and said, —but she IS your mother! The coin dropped. I got it. Of course, she treats me like her son because that’s what I am. To her, to everyone and to myself, she is my mother, always was, always will be. Duh! It wasn’t about if I liked it or not. It was and is the context for my family life. Suddenly I understood context. In what context do we find ourselves in? In what context do you live? What contexts can we choose to be part of and what contexts are not ours to choose? If you are internally free, then you’ll be able to take part in a context that is not of your own making but is your heritage; biologically, culturally and generationally. Then I can be the son I am. I can be the brother I am. I can be the husband I am. I can be the person I am within any context yet be my own

self. I can be the first, second or third. It doesn’t matter. I can be black or white, yellow or brown. Young or old, man or woman. It doesn’t matter. I can be a son or a daughter, a father and a mother. Yet I know who I am. I only exist because of my parents. What greater gift is there than the Life they gave you? Now, I don’t need people to change for me, I can change myself. I’ll adjust, it’s no big deal.

Right View samma ditthi

Samma (complete, full, true, right) ditthi (view, perspective, seeing) is the first of the eight path factors in the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path. "And what is right view?

—Knowledge with regard to Dukkha (trad. suffering, unsatisfactoriness, stress),

—knowledge with regard to the origination of stress; ie. dukkha arises with taṇhā ("craving, desire or need, lit. "thirst"),

—knowledge with regard to the cessation of stress, and

—knowledge with regard to the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress: ie. the eightfold noble path.

This is called right view."— DN 22

It is the direct insight (vipassana) into the nature of the arising, the endurance and the passing away of phenomena—the apprehension of the impermanence and fleeting nature of all things, especially in regard to the clinging quality of the “I”-sense; the I, me and mine in its relationship with desire and the need to be, that causes attachment and bondage. So it’s no small thing to have a penetrating spiritual insight that gives this in-depth knowledge and first hand experience. It usually requires a lot of prior research and heartfelt committed study. Having said that, you can per chance come upon this realisation unexpectedly without much prior research. If so, catching up on the study after the event will greatly inform it with a deeper understanding, and is absolutely essential to gain the comprehensive view and fathom the depth it contains. Right view will greatly remain with you as the very foundation of your spiritual identity and path. It will serve you personally but more than anything it will serve you in your relationships. Especially if you can meet in this view. If several others can meet in this non-obstructive view, ie. in the present conscious moment and see with the same eyes, you will experience the non-dual realisation of communion; a selfless engagement with others as one undivided Self. Right view is not personal and as such can’t be owned. It is meant to be shared among you, a meeting place beyond ego. Selfless being is the goal of the path, but also its beginning. Wanting to know, the desire to find out, the natural curiosity to what is true, is the forerunner, the incentive, leading into the path. Its innocence is felt as a selfless pull from the truth itself. Right seeing is the beginning and the end, the first and the last.

Meditation/Inquiry

Meditation only have one purpose —to wake us up! And in order for that to take place we need to ask ourselves —what do we want? That means we must be clear about our intention. When we sit down to meditate what is your reason for doing so? Why would you meditate? That question is actually the very first inquiry you should engage in —to probe your reasons for seeking spiritual insight in the first place. I’m not being coy, this inquiry into our fundamental thought-patterns can reveal unquestioned assumptions, and if uncovered will greatly help in de-confusing our understanding in regards to the process of dismantling the ego idea. Your motivation is another great contemplation that will help clarify the effort you need to bring. If you are sincere in your own desire to realise who you are in the deeper sense of the word, you will approach it with the seriousness it demands. It’s no small matter. But the good news is that by contemplating these questions you’re already doing the spiritual work needed. The inquiry is what fuels your meditation and your general outlook on life itself. It comes from a heartfelt wanting to know, wanting to understand, what life is all about. Leave no stone unturned is an appt description of the dedication needed. It’s a lifelong endeavour that is well worth the time. Now having said that, simply enjoy the moment —the here and now, without a care in the world.

The Spotless Immaculate Vision Of The Dharma.

Why is this phrase used in the Buddhist scriptures; in the Theravada Tripitaka? It arose, they say, in the venerable Kodanna when he heard the newly awakened Sakyamuni Buddha speak of his newly found knowledge; See Samyutta Nikaya, V-420. The Buddha had earlier exclaimed to himself at the point of awakening; "Seeking but not finding the house builder, I hurried through the round of many births: Painful is birth ever and again. O house builder, you have been seen; You shall not build the house again. Your rafters have been broken up, Your ridgepole is demolished too. My mind has now attained the unformed Nibbâna And reached the end of every sort of craving. — Dhp 153-4 Not only did the “spotless immaculate vision of the Dharma” arise in him but also his heart was liberated from taints by not clinging; Insight and knowledge arose simultaneously: “Then the Blessed One exclaimed: 'Kondanna knows, Kondanna knows!', and that is how that venerable one acquired the name Annata Kondañña. -Kondañña who knows. Then Añnata Kondañna, who had seen and reached and found and penetrated the Law, whose uncertainties were left behind, whose doubts had vanished, who had gained perfect confidence and become independent of others in the Teacher's Dispensation, said to the Blessed One: 'Lord, I wish to go forth under the Blessed One and to receive the Full Admission'. "Come, bhikkhu' the Blessed One said: 'The Law is well proclaimed. Live the Holy Life for the complete ending of suffering’. And that was his full admission.” It continues, “Becoming dispassionate, his lust fades away; with the fading of lust his heart is liberated; when liberated, there comes the knowledge: It is liberated. He understands: Birth is exhausted, the Holy Life has been lived out, what was to be done is done, there is no more of this to come’. That is what the Blessed One said. The bhikkhus of the group of five were glad, and they delighted in his words. Now while this discourse was being delivered the hearts of the bhikkhus of the group of five were liberated from taints through not clinging. And there were then six Arahants, six

accomplished ones, in the world.” So then, what is this immaculate spotless vision? In the Buddhas lineage it is; “Whatever is subject to origination is all subject to cessation”. It’s a seeing and understanding at once, simultaneously having a vision and mentally grasping its meaning. It follows the Buddhas understanding he himself had had. This is quite an extraordinary fact often overlooked when revising the oldest texts. If your enlightenment happens around a teacher/guru it follows that the info given is that of the authority at hand. This happens quite automatically and is not an opt-in or opt-out choice, but is the very flavour your teacher’s transmission will hold. In my case the understanding that came with the insight was; “I have always been free and I have always known it”. The profound insight, or ‘seeing’ as it’s better described, refers to the normality of the experience. It is in fact not a momentary event or ‘experience’, but is more of an unveiling of what is there all the time; thereof “immaculate” and “spotless “. The “vision” refers to the simple seeing of it. Once revealed it can never be ‘un-revealed’ as it is your everyday seeing, just as it is everybody’s normal vision.

Reverse Algebra.

I was never that keen on maths but once I had it figured out it was immensely satisfying. The brain working overtime, intuitively seeking pathways to figure it out, like being in a 3D labyrinth and running on the thrill of the seek. Many times I would just die in the maze, brain fried, throw my pencil down and capitulate. Like seeing the immensely long algebra equations was not daunting enough they had to set a time limit. I am running out of time. My mind got lost in the matrix and I did not want to give up. I’d rather die in the caverns deeply lost, entangled strands of quickly vanishing thoughts left me behind. But once, the stars aligned and I remained fully committed and completed the test without a single error. Only the smartest girl in the class and I pulled that off. I was so proud, so satisfied I didn’t lift a finger for the rest of the semester. When the teacher gave me a C at the end of the year I was shocked. Hadn’t I proven myself once and for all? Anyway, cut to the chase, this stayed with me for years and when I befriended an accomplished mathematician I tried to find a way to explain so that he could understand, for his math brain to grasp, how the ethereal nature of the Absolute run through all things without fail. And suddenly I saw this immensely complicated equation on the blackboard of my mind, and as I glanced over it, at the end seeing the finishing lines of the equal � symbol and its very easy to grasp single number answer. It was like my brain hooked into the solution and reversed engineered it back into the equation and suddenly I saw that this very simple outcome could be preceded by any number of infinite calculations. Ahhh finally, the answer contained all possible equations. Now that must have been the language he spoke? How the infinite rests in the finite. At least for me, it was enough to make me at ease with the intricacies of higher maths.

“The book thief”

I was once a regular visitor to Vat Buddharam Värmdö in Sweden. After the travels in Asia and to follow up my initial Anapanasati meditation experience in Thailand I searched out the

local Thai Buddhist temple in Stockholm to pursue my interest in the Dhamma. At the time there was very little activity going on and the sole Ajahn (resident monk) mainly catered to the regular ceremonies of the Thai community in Scandinavia. I came as the lone westerner seeking the Dhamma. He was pleased. We often sat long sessions into the night practicing mindfulness of breathing. I would stay overnight and he would serve up a lavish Thai breakfast on leftover rice and offerings made by weekend visitors. A little bit of Thai heaven in the Stockholm archipelago. I spent my days studying the books he had in English and while he encouraged me to write about Buddhism in Swedish I never felt confident enough. As I was still traveling on and off, I decided to bring all of my own books to the temple so other visitors could benefit from them. Then once coming back from an extended stay away I found many of the most precious books gone. Possibly borrowed but never returned. I could not believe the predicament —that someone with an interest in the truth would steal. English translations of Pali scriptures not easy to find nor cheap to replace, I was disillusioned. Time moved on and so did I. My path lead me back to Asia for years to come but I still remembered fondly my ‘Swedish’ Ajahn and his little temple in the countryside.

Tracing your spiritual ancestry.

So you have a bloodline, a physical DNA trail going back who knows how long? You also have a spiritual line that you are equally a product of. Our physical ancestry we can trace to some degree but the spiritual is much more difficult to define. Just as our physical bodies carries DNA from multiple sources, from numberless previous generations, so does our spiritual heritage carry influences from an array of predecessors. If we are to believe in the Buddhas tales of previous lives, as a seeker of ultimate truth, passing from one life to another slowly learning more and more as how to live in accordance with the laws of truth, and ultimately reaching a climax in becoming the Buddha, so do we follow a spiritual path of evolution. In this sense we can appreciate the uniqueness of a singular life, traced back through lifetimes of experiences, as we’ve passed through successive births and deaths as one independent being. And though we are formed by, and carry a certain DNA structure and traits inherited from specific ancestors, we also carry a spiritual imprint left to us by our spiritual forefathers. Especially in regard to our direct lines of awakening at the feet of our teachers; the passing of the torch (of Dharma) as it’s called in the zen lineage. Even if your awakening happens away from any specific teacher, undoubtedly it will have been triggered by several coinciding factors and by events leading up to it, including your meetings with spiritual guidance in the past. If you gain an insight into this you’ll see a thread leading back into your own development through the ages, maybe even to the dawning of time at the birth of the universe. You will have a very specific path that is yours alone, yet universal in its context; ie each one of us have our own personal history of gaining insight and wisdom from truth itself, all circumstances shaping and forming who we are today; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Spiritually is most important because that will free you from believing your are a limited person based on this one physical lifetime alone. If you realise you stem from way before this birth you’ll begin to see how utterly unique your path is, spanning infinite generations, yet formed by all contacts along the way. Simply this

Om Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma Sambuddhasa.

recognition will supremely help you in knowing who you are. And as you help others on their path you will be part in shaping their future as it will affect yours as well. This relationship is outlined in the Buddhist teaching of dependent origination; Pratityasamutpada. It is the principle that all things arise in dependence upon multiple causes and conditions–nothing exists as a singular, independent entity. The term is used in the Buddhist teachings in two senses:

* On a general level, it refers to one of the doctrine that all things arise in dependence upon multiple causes and conditions.

* On a specific level, the term is used to refer to a specific application of this general principle—namely the twelve links of dependent origination.

This teaching is often referred to how the cycle of birth and death is unceasingly repeated by the karmic effects of ignorantly or blindly not seeing cause and effect, and thereby perpetuating one’s own suffering and attachments. But we can equally understand how cause and effect also affect our spiritual lives, as nothing comes from nothing. There will be an impetus, a spark that triggers remembrance, into a deep connection to everything that has went on before. You history as a spiritual being is full and not an empty shell. Drawing the conclusion that you only stem from the Absolute, based on your own direct insight, is true to a point but then you don’t take into account your journey since inception. And though you do have a direct link to the source (the Absolute) in your self, there’s a tremendous richness in your own line, both in your physical ancestry as in your spiritual heritage. Do not discard it simply because you don’t know much about it. In it you’ll find what made you you. You’re left with nothing but gratitude and suddenly you’ll realise how important your own helpfulness is to others, how you become part of their eternal future and they part of your own evolution.

The Imprint of Truth.

With realisation comes a literal understanding. Why is that important? Because it will frame your insight in a context of conceptual knowledge which are like the bones of the skeletal structure of the body. It’ll give you the framework for your spiritual identity. Just as you inherit a lot of information about yourself from your parents, so you will centre yourself around the core message received simultaneously with insight. A Christian revelation will follow Jesus own structure and body. A Buddhist awakening will coagulate around its three pillars. And while you have the same traits as your forebears you are independent in the freedom truth bestows. A good zen story highlights this dichotomy; from THE ZEN TEACHING OF HUANG PO.

“Emperor Tai Chung was also present as a Sramanera (a lay-follower of the Buddha dharma). The Sramanera noticed our Master enter the hall of worship and make a triple prostration to the Buddha, whereupon he asked: 'If we are to seek nothing from the Buddha, Dharma or Sangha, what does Your Reverence seek by such prostrations? 'Though I seek not from the Buddha,' replied our Master, or from the Dharma, or from the Sangha, it is my custom to show respect in this way.' 'But what purpose does it serve?' insisted the

sramanera, whereupon he suddenly received a slap. Oh,' he exclaimed. 'How uncouth you are!' "What is this? cried the Master. 'Imagine making a distinction between refined and uncouth!' So saying, he administered another slap, causing the sramanera to betake himself elsewhere!”

And from the same page, “During his travels, our Master paid a visit to Nan Chuan (his senior). One day at dinner-time, he took his bowl and seated himself opposite Nan Ch'uan's high chair. Noticing him there, Nan Ch'üan stepped down to receive him and asked: 'How long has Your Reverence been following the Way?" Since before the era of Bisma Raja (since time immemorial), came the reply. ‘Indeed?' exclaimed Nan Ch'üan. 'It seems that Master Ma has a worthy grandson here.' Our Master then walked quietly away.” This brings to mind something my martial teacher said; if you’ve mastered to fight with a long spear, –reaching your foe from a distance, then being up close becomes easy. Just as Huang Po identify his path being much longer than his present lifetime, he easily deals with attitudes stemming from shortsighted views. It’s interesting to note how one’s awakening is scented by the flavour of its predecessor. The die casting leaves its mark, quite literally so as the Buddhas own enlightenment understanding was automatically transmitted when his disciples awakened listening to his discourses; “Whatever is subject to origination is all subject to cessation”. Andrew Cohen’s awakening in his own words; “Poonja-ji then said to me very distinctly and very softly, "You don't have to make any effort to be Free." Immediately upon hearing this, something happened. His words penetrated very deeply. I turned and looked out into the courtyard outside his room and inside myself all I saw was a river - in that instant I realised that I had always been Free. I saw clearly that I never could have been other than Free and that any idea or concept of bondage had always been and could only ever be completely illusory.” (from An Autobiography of an Awakening). This literal understanding then followed many of his own students awakening, including mine. This imprint leaves an undeniable mark of legacy from where we come. Whether one likes it or not doesn’t come into it, and if you honour your mother and father you’ll have nothing but gratitude towards them for gifting you with life. —For gifting you immortal Life.

32 years on.

What has changed? When I woke up early this morning I thought about how my awakening 32 years ago have faired over the years. Often when we speak about enlightenment, awakening and spiritual birth, we point to the moment of experience when Truth stands revealed and to how it transforms us. Yet what we realise is our own true Self, free from time and space; our selfless underlying nature of Love. In that momentous revelation, the insight is that we have always been free, nothing have ever been missing and we’ve gained nothing by its realisation. That being so, how is this re-cognition today? Same as it ever was? How could it be otherwise. Yes the seeing and understanding remains the same just as the air I breathe from moment to moment. Nothing has changed. Yet 32 years of experience have passed and I’ve learned a lot. I can’t say I know much, especially since my memory is failing. But I rest and rely on a clear seeing, even though my eyesight is not what is used to be. It’s like a mirror’s reflection, I don’t need to know as everything is reflected back to me in precise detail. The world provide all the information needed at any given time. And if I’m in

want, I’ll ask. Glad that you’re here to help out. It doesn’t sound that spectacular does it? In one way it’s not, as it’s plain normal and ordinary but with it comes a peace and stillness that never goes away. A seeing and knowing from beyond the mind of a life immortal, of a life never ending. I find myself in this ageless quality every day even though my body certainly doesn’t agree. Every morning I wake up anew yet the sun of awakening have never set. So 32 is just a number, not really a starting point at all. It’s reassuring to know we’ve all been around for a while, much longer than we all ever could have anticipated.

From small to large.

Don’t get any ideas. It has to do with methodology. I have always instructed to take out the movements when you learn them. In that way you will feel the flow. Snap tight when you have to, but understand it’s a gradual reduction. Not one or the other. Big movements are useless in speed and unnecessary. We train large, pivoting spirals in order to see and feel only to sharpen them as we learn and become more proficient. If you train tight you’ll usually end up too rigid. Throughout your training regime never loose touch with your supple body. Ukemi is where you find it. Receive and absorb, flow and respond. This practice will stand you in good stead when applying Aiki to another, to feel what their body is capable of. Make use of full body connection, both in receiving and in giving. Don’t bash the door in but unlock it with your Ki. Now that is a secret in itself and for others to expand upon. Suffice to say here is that circles and spirals, direct lines and angles, can be visibly large and expanded in order to learn. Then to be drawn closer till almost unseen. It’s a practice from large to smaller. Don’t confuse the two as two separate techniques or systems. They are and should be one and the same. If you know the small you should be able to expand it ad infinitum. So please see the small in the large and the large in the small.

Replicating planetary motion.

Like a spinning, slightly wobbling top, the Earth is circling on its axis with a tilt at 22 degrees. The wobble line is a mere 2.5 degrees in rotation from its centre but it creates the slight undulation of the circumference at the equator, just as described in the Kojiki as the floating bridge of heaven. That floating feeling is our Hara and hips as they alternate like ebb and flow between the feet as we move replicated in many ritual dance and movement arts. In the martial arts, these angles, spirals and lines work as effective deflectors of any incoming force, just as our planet course its way through the galaxy. Rocksteady in its trajectory, its axis only revealed through its spin; its irimi tenkan, enter/turn motion defining its centre core. It’s a living dynamic planet, not a mere tumbling rock through space. It has grace and purpose.

Non-binary Spirit

Our spiritual identity lie not in gender, age or nationality, and though many struggle to comprehend this, it’s actually quite simple. As kids we played cowboys and indians. One

day I’d dress up like a cowboy and the next as an indian. I loved taking on their distinct attributes and acted the part with passion. But I knew all along I was playacting. I was no cowboy nor no redskin indian, just a Swedish boy with a vivid imagination. So later when I learned of the Buddha, Jesus, Krishna and their kind, I also understood that they were simply different manifestations of the same human spirit coming from within. When the Mother Goddess was revealed with her all female qualities and David Bowie cross dressed it did not upset my world. The expression of the Spirit have no boundaries and when we know where it comes from, we fear it not. Instead we embrace it. I’m not one or the other, rather I am its very expression in whatever form it takes. That’s why whenever there’s a depth of spirit in whatever form being manifested we can identify with it and feel intimately its expression. The fundamental truth to our identity lies in our spiritual essence, in our true nature and real Self (ie in our non ego self) which is always there in the background regardless of your own believed identity you adhere to. As a human being we have the capacity to wake up to our real nature and break the illusion of being bound to a fixed number of identities based on gender, age and nationality. Animals are to the most bound by their nature to act within their limited scopes while we as humans have a greater chance to surpass our own confines, yet aware of our limitations. Now if you prefer one over the other, it’s probably down to who you love more. But if you open your heart you’ll find you will love all with equal passion. Since, after all, it’s only you yourself being expressed in so many varied ways.

Our Spiritual Superheroes.

Hanuman, Shiva in disguise, plays the role of super-monkey god depicted in countless Hindu tales. Devotion supreme and with unstoppable strength he lays waste to armies of evil. Rama Krishna, God incarnates, Vishnu personified, above and beyond all worldly concerns shows the way. Kali’s, mother Goddess, fearsome features subdues all critics. The Marvel superheroes of today follow the precedence set by the Hindu pantheon and we are enthralled to the edge of our seats. Warriors for justice and goodness, humans dressed in capes and costumes, incredibles and X-men, misfits and aliens, silver surfers and time benders, idols and rock stars. Our alter ego, our secret identity. May the force be with us. Yoda and Kung Fu Panda, supernatural saints, avatars and gurus, spiritual warriors and esoteric practitioners, teachers of the Way. Realised beings. They are out there today.

Who do you love?

What attracts you? Why do we love the things we do? Have you never wondered? — Haven’t you ever thought what love is all about? Can you remember a time when simply walking in nature by yourself, being filled with an overwhelming sense of grandeur and love taking your breath away? For no other reason than you letting life flood you with its immense beauty. Simply being yourself. Now cast that impression onto the ones you love; family friends, lovers, spouses. Pets, cars, things you adore. Why is there love? I can’t get away from it, I sit at the kitchen table and watch my hands laid out in front and I love what I see. My eyes goes to all things; colours returns, beauty in shapes, smells and sounds, in

touch comes back. I feel the inside of my body, nerve endings leads me inwards. Like a tropical greenhouse I’m transparent filled with unknown amount of exotic plants, a regular jungle where everything is interconnected. A witches brew is boiling causing everything to move, pulsating, breathing with life. I snap out of it and find myself daydreaming, dazed but at ease. Relaxed and happy. If love meets you in everything you see, consider yourself lucky —blessed beyond belief. There’s truth staring you in the face, reflected back at you. So how can you not love your own Self? You’re literally looking into the mirror of your self and if you follow its reflection inside you’ll implode like a failing star, and you wring yourself inside out, and suddenly the universe is inside of you.

The two sides to Aikido.

Now when we have established that Aiki-do is not a spiritual practice per se but a highly defined esoteric (internal) skill training including its outward technical format coupled with the active responsive movement of ukemi (receiving) we realise that O Sensei’s vision also extended beyond the intricacies of Ka and Mi (fire and water), the Yin and Yang —the dual opposing forces we enact to create a coherent connected (unified) body and mind. O Sensei’s Aiki practice was of esoteric knowledge and of the dual nature of In and Yo and its opposing forces, while his cognitive context and mental framework went beyond and surpassed the supernatural skill Aiki physically bestowed on him. This is where we now have to consider his heart and include his spiritual vision; how he viewed the world and he himself in it. Though his Budo (martial art) is thoroughly founded in the physical training, his spiritual path went beyond the mere pursuit of martial excellence. In the esoteric tradition, Ego is not seen as a foe unless it constrains your practice of internal mastery. Only as an obstacle to perceiving greater depth in practice is it addressed. It’s never isolated, like in Buddhism or in Christianity, to be the ONLY hindrance to spiritual liberation and salvation. Ego seen is ego revealed and that should wake us up big time. If it doesn’t, we’ve missed or simply ignored its spiritual significance. O Sensei saw no difference between his esoteric knowledge and his spiritual insights. They were freely mixed and interwoven. His vision and physical realisation were firmly intertwined, and Ego (the debilitating limited sense of self) never featured except as a hinderance to personal excellence. Purity (Misogi) was the goal, through hard and dedicated practice. Because Ego is not directly addressed it gets overlooked. So the spiritual heart, that which spurred O Sensei on in his lifelong pursuit, sometimes gets lost on us as we mainly see his martial excellence and not his spiritual longing. Aikido does not automatically confer spirituality onto us. We can seek spirit in whatever format we choose. Yet Aiki suits the spiritual as they follow the same principles. Yet humans have a foe nature does not have —the Ego. So if we pursue excellence in Aikido we need to be aware of its adverse influence. Only then can we say Aikido is our spiritual path. If only treated as a Way of Aiki in pursuit of excellence, a way to attain mastery, then it falls short in being a spiritual path. And even though you may have spiritual insights because you follow an esoteric practice you will not necessarily gain its all important message of selflessness. Ego loves mastery, and who wouldn’t? But a genuine spiritual path is a path of surrender, ego-death and understanding. This pursuit is a total dedication outside of any art, and no art in the world can ever replace your own personal effort needed in its realisation.

So what is Spiritual Realisation?

Swami Krishnananda of the Shivananda Ashram in Rishikesh wrote a book on the subject age only 30. He named it “The Realisation Of The Absolute”. This is, and always has been, the starting point of an awakened life. Up till that point in time one is a seeker of Truth and only after that point can one be justifiably called a finder. Some, without knowing really why, find themselves in the realm of Truth quite unexpectedly and over time have to come to terms with their new environment, to enlighten themselves as to its nature through study and contemplation. Others share a deep yearning towards Truth from early on. There’s a deep desire to know the Truth for oneself. Consciously seeking for Truth, aware and cognisant of one’s intent one follows one’s heart to fulfil its longing for realisation. Truth acts a powerful magnet, attracting your soul to its own deeper recesses. The pull becomes increasingly more evident and unavoidable the closer you get. Yet the fire at the heart of Truth burns and repels in equal measure those that approach, like moths to an open flame. But if you stay the course you’ll be greatly rewarded, the realisation will dawn upon you. It’s just a matter of time. Patience then, when pursuing your own liberation. Trust there is the gold at the end of the rainbow. It is a homecoming, a return to who you’ve always been. It’s a resurrection of who you’ve known yourself to be throughout all time. Your voice will no longer be impeded, your body will regain its dexterity and sensitivity. Born again some compare it to. But if you realise you’ve always been around you won’t see yourself as the baby. The Realisation of the Absolute is not an abstract mental concept but a living breathing presence. It’s a discovery of the eternal nature of yourself which you come to embody. It’s finding your true identity. That which always has been free and that always will be free. Spiritual Realisation is your birthright and has nothing to do with skills achieved. Advaita Vedanta uses this dictum to encourage seekers: Neti Neti —not this, not this!

The Gurus effect.

If you look closely enough you’ll see the gurus effect on the realised person. Even if the moment of enlightenment happens apart and far from close vicinity to the guru, you can always trace back its event to the prior meeting and association with the guru and those close to him. The heat and flames of the fire spreads far and wide. Self realisation hardly ever happens in isolation. There is always a congruent and catalytic context that sparks the effect of an awakening. That should humble us as it’s a gift and not self accomplished. We’ve been blessed and nothing can be claimed to belong to oneself. The Buddha did claim self accomplishment but he was already saturated from his earlier lifetimes and meetings with the enlightened ones. But there is a truth pertaining to his claim, and that is that nobody but ourselves can own our own state. So though you have no say in the when and where, you are the one that must own it once revealed. Know it’s the relationship that spark the insights. Mysterious but undeniable it’s able to penetrate to the core of who you are, setting off a series of events that will begin to unravel who you think you are. The finding is in the seeking and seek the Truth and it will set you free.

Teaching traditional Aikido I find it challenging to balance the need for internal understanding with keeping to a specific form, in my case Iwama from Morihiro Saito. There is simply so much material to cover. If we choose one over the other we will fail in transmitting the full system. Fortunately I believe we are in for a revival as some able teachers are reintroducing the absolute fundamentals of how Aiki works and of its composite connected body. As an Iwama practitioner proud of the basics Saito Sensei taught I recently found that there was a whole new layer underneath that I had been uninformed about. Dan Harden opened my eyes to a whole new dimension of internal basics, without which true Aiki will never come about. That said, I’ve noticed without an accompanying format, one that is functionally correct and technically sound, we will lose the vehicle we use to transport the goods in. There is a time and a place to focus on all the specific aspects of our art, and possibly they will appear naturally in our evolution of learning, or it might be pure chance and luck if we run into teachers that add to our progress. Nevertheless we must make the most of it, and as always there are no shortcuts. Train, train, train, sounds the mantra. Solo and together, as often as possible. The more the better. Some prefer to focus on one over the other, even dismissing the need for its opposite relative. But I think we need to learn what we don’t know without loosing touch with its accompanying other. Aikidoka has a great responsibility to gain the internal capabilities that are so hard to learn but so fundamental and necessary for our namesake art. Yet Aikido will never be one thing as there are so many students with various preferences but if Aiki is studied and incorporated it will sustain whatever format you follow. Don’t neglect the external form for the internal principles nor dismiss the esoteric for the exoteric. Bind them together. Find the common ground. Internal proficiency will not excuse a flawed technique nor will technique alone do the proper job. I have the work cut out for me.

Why Kojiki?

Why bring up mythology in the practice of Aikido? –Because it’s the earliest text outlining our solo body conditioning training! Izanagi and Izanami (brother and sister) were petitioned by their elders in Heaven to descend onto Earth to create a landmass on which they could stand. At that time Earth had no solid form but was a vast sea. According to the Kojiki, Shinto's genesis gods Izanagi and Izanami (yin and yang) were responsible for creating the first land. To help them do this, they were given a spear decorated with jewels, named Ameno nu-hoko (heavenly jewelled spear), by the older gods. The two deities then descended to the floating bridge between heaven and earth, Ame-no-ukihashi, the "floating bridge of heaven", and churned the sea below with the spear. When drops of salty water fell from the tip, they formed (coagulated) into the first island, Onogoro-shima. Izanagi and Izanami could then descend from the floating bridge of heaven onto the solid ground they’ve just created. This story has its origin in the Hindu tale of Nala and Nila building a bridge on the sea from India to Sri Lanka for Rama to cross. The bridge was made out of floating stepping stones with Ramas name inscribed on them. As we all know, a floating ‘bridge’ is exactly what it says, it floats on the water’s surface as a pontoon. Buoyant enough to carry our weight but not stable. We balance between the feet to keep upright. By using the spear pole, our

body’s central axis, to stir, circle and churn the sea below, we enact a coagulating process and we feel as the ground beneath us takes shape and solidifies under our feet, enough to give us a platform to stand on. Yet the evolution is not finished. As the siblings now can stand on solid ground, a vertical column comes into being, is erected, upholding a space measuring the span between your fingertips. In fact, a fathom is the length measured by your outstretched arms, and as the room created was precisely eight fathoms large it indicates ‘eight directions’, ie. in all directions, which outlines a perfect sphere (which by the way, inform our Happo giri—the eight directions sword cuts). Only then do we use the dual opposing spirals just as Izanagi and Izanami revolved in opposite directions around the central column and met as they encircled, one taking precedence over the other in a defined order; Heaven being light moving up, and Earth being heavy moving down. So they meet in the middle, at the attraction point between them. This evenly balanced relationship gives way to an infinite amount of offspring, beginning with the first eight islands of Japan.

Draw in, to expand.

Pull in, to fill out. Inhale to exhale. There’s an order to it, one comes before the other. At birth, life begins on the in-breath and at death ends on the out-breath. Contraction/ expansion, the ‘Eight Powers’ refer to the four pairs of contrasting forces: Hachiriki.

1. Moving/Stilling,

2. Loosening/Stiffening,

3. Tensing/Relaxing,

4. Matching/Separating.

9-1, 8-2, 7-3, 6-4. These four number pairs relate to the balancing adjustment that happens in its power distribution. “If your opponent strikes with fire, counter with water, becoming completely fluid and free-flowing. Water, by its nature, never collides with or breaks against anything. On the contrary, it swallows up any attack harmlessly.” –O Sensei. Happo-giri, our eight directions cut, is executed in pairs of twos: 1-2, 3-4, 5-6 and 7-8. Right hanmi to left hanmi, 180 degrees turn. Omote and Ura, Irimi and Tenkan, the outer and the inner. The dual complementary polar opposites. Howard Popkin summed up his Daito Ryu in three words; “Up, down, turn”. I map that as vertical connection with rotation. But what happens first? According to the Kojiki it is of vital importance. Since the first offsprings of Inazaki and Inazami were born handicapped and spineless due to mistakenly speaking out of turn. In fact, Inazami made the first move as they met around the central pillar. That was considered ill fated and had to be revised. So why is this? But before we explain that, let’s see what happened to the unfortunate firstborn baby. He was given the name Ebisu, today a very common well-known beer-make in Japan, as he became the patron of the fishermen and a kami of luck and fortune. Being a bit listless drunk on beer we move as without bones. The gist is, if we go about the practice wrongly we won’t reap the result it’s meant to provide. So what comes first? In or out? Up or down? Heaven or Earth? Yin or yang? Though we may skirt the issue by saying they happen simultaneously we avoid the implication the Kojiki

highlights for us. What is primary? What is the primary axis? Of the galaxy, of the solar system, of the Earth, of our body? It’s the vertical central column. Like a tree, the vertical trunk is primary, the branches secondary. Down force ie gravity is primary to life force rising. Kojiki establishes that grounding is the forerunner to expansion. Yet when contact happens they develop simultaneously. But something comes first. So breathe in to fill out. But now, once we’ve established their order, can we do it simultaneously? Not limited to our breath cycle? In, and then out. But at the same time, expand as you draw in? Yes we can. And that’s the miracle. By allowing in, we fill out the universe. It’s irimi tenkan in one move. So understanding relationships, what comes first, is essential in order to give birth to something wholesome and stronger. Now when you begin? How will you start? What takes precedence? Think!

Nila and Nala.

Twin monkeys as they were, were the architect-in-chief and the commander-in-chief. Together, the duo was credited for creating the Rama Setu (a floating bridge that spanned the strait between India and Sri Lanka) so the forces of Rama could pass over, from the epic of Mahabharata where Rama went to rescue his wife Sita. Nala is said to had the power to make stones float and, thus, easily makes the sea-bridge. His twin Nila is also said to had this power and both Nala and Nila are described as builders of the bridge. Sita - the wife of Rama, avatar of the god Vishnu - was kidnapped by Ravana, the rakshasa (demon) king of Lanka. Rama, aided by an army of vanaras (monkeys), reached the end of land and wanted to cross over to Lanka. Rama worships the god of the ocean, Varuna and requests him to make way. When Varuna does not appear before Rama, Rama starts shooting various weapons at the sea, which starts drying up. A terrified Varuna pleads to Rama. Though he refuses to give way, he gives Rama a solution. He tells Rama that Nala (नल, lotus), the son of Vishwakarma - the architect of the gods, is amongst his vanara army; Nala has the necessary expertise of an architect, owing to a boon from his divine father. Varuna suggests that Rama construct a bridge across the ocean to Lanka, under the supervision of Nala. The tale justifying this power states that in their youth, these monkeys were very mischievous and used to throw the murtis (holy images) worshipped by the sages in the water. As a remedy, the sages decreed that any stone thrown by them in water will not drown, thus saving the murtis. Another tale narrates as assured by Varuna, the stones dropped by Nala and Nila float, but they drift in the sea and do not form a continuous structure, Hanuman, Rama's devotee and monkey lieutenant suggests that the name of Rama be written across the stones, so they stick together; the remedy worked. Now compare this story with the Japanese origin myth of Izanagi and Izanami descending onto the “floating bridge of heaven”, stirring and churning the ocean beneath their feet to make it coalesce to form firm land; a platform and island that become the solid ground from where a central pillar is erected with a resulting accompanying space surrounding it, a spherical room measured 1x8 fathoms large (a measure that is the width of your arms span, from fingertip to fingertip). This central column then become the axis around which the siblings circle in opposite directions consummating their marriage and begetting offspring. Now compare this story with the Hindu legend of the churning of the sagara sea where the devas and asuras worked

together for a thousand years to churn this milky ocean in order to acquire amrita, the elixir of immortal life. To churn the ocean, they used the serpent-king, Vasuki, for their churning rope. For a churning pole, they used Mount Mandara, placed on the back of the Kurma avatar (tortoise) of Vishnu. So let’s see here, the base is the tortoise shell, resembling the floating stepping stones of Rama, and the islands of the Shinto legend. So the floating bridge/stones of heaven is the support foundation, literally the back of God (Vishnu/Heaven) created by the duo; the twins, the siblings, the married couple, duh yin and yang, and through their dual forces churn the sea with the central pillar/mountain in opposing directions to create an effect. In fact, relating to our own body, by our two legs creating opposing spirals up and down our body; through our spine and limbs, supported by our lower (turtle) back and center Hara in all eight directions.

Peace Valleys.

So much interest is drawn towards relaxation and cultivating mindfulness these days. Peace and quietude are sought after qualities reflected in the thousands of workshops, podcasts and meditation yoga seminars held ever more often. No doubt that stillness of mind is much in need in our busy lives but are we looking in the right places? Are we simply looking to increase the amount of time of rest? Hoping that will put us at ease? Trying to extract longer periods of calm between the heights of activity? But finding that the tops alternates regularly with the lows, like the sea heaving up and down. Never finding lasting peace or true tranquility. It seems to me that the hype of mental health in vogue now need a radical rethink. It’s really not about de-stressing but of waking up. What if we would look at the fundamental crux of self identity? To find who we are. At the heart. Thou art that goes the saying. The spiritual truth laying at the heart of the matter. Who are you? We need to find this place within us that does not rely on the high and lows of emotional content. It’s not about how you feel. It really doesn’t matter. There is no feel good remedy that will fix our mental health. Talking about it is good but not enough. We can hang out in the valleys of peace for long periods but we are irrevocably drawn back to chaotic turbulence since they both are part of the same movement. The ups and downs of life as it is. Rather, overturn your aim. Seek to revolutionise the goal. It’s not peace but self knowledge. The truth will set you free, not the yogic slumber of Aum.

The Point of Attraction.

In Sweden we say “Omfamna” which mean to embrace, to hug, to take into your arms — to “om” (round, around, surround) “famna”. Famn –in your arms, or bosom, translates as fathom; the distance from fingertip to fingertip with your arms fully extended, which we then enclose to embrace, to understand someone, to take to our chest. Open arms is the gesture of inviting in, of embracing, to fold in trust and in love. Like a bird with expanded wings, protecting its young. Just as the Ark of the Covenant had Two golden cherubim placed at each end of the cover facing one another and the mercy seat, with their wings spread to enclose the mercy seat. The two cherubim are described as bounding the ark and forming a space through which Yahweh would appear. Not unlike how an umbrella opens and

supports its canopy; as the jewelled parasol (Sanskrit: chatraratna) in Hinduism and in Buddhism, is holding up the sky, spreading out the firmament. According to the Ancient Greek myths regarding the founding of the Delphic Oracle, the god Zeus, in his attempt to locate the center of the earth, launched two eagles from the two ends of the world, and the eagles, starting simultaneously and flying at equal speed, crossed their paths above the area of Delphi, and so was the place where Zeus placed the stone. Since then, Delphi has been considered by Greeks to be the center of the world, the Omphalos – "navel of the Earth"(“navel, center”, Latin umbilīcus, and Old English nafola (English navel)).

omphalós

1. (anatomy) navel

2. umbilical cord

3. anything shaped like a navel, hence:

1. knob or boss in the middle of the shield.

2. (in the plural) knobs at each end of the stick round which books were rolled.

4. centre or middle point.

5. centre of an army, properly the point at which an army is divided into two wings

6. (architecture) keystone of an arched vault (just as our hips interconnect our legs).

The central aisle of the first part of a church is called the nave, where all regular churchgoers are seated. A nave is also a ship that carries the faithful in the bosom of Abraham before resurrection. The expression in the “Bosom of Abraham”, the place of comfort for the righeous dead, has its origin traced back to the universal custom of parents to take up into their arms, or place upon their knees, their children when they are fatigued, or return home, and to make them rest by their side during the night, thus causing them to enjoy rest and security in the bosom of a loving parent. After the same manner was Abraham supposed to act towards his children after the fatigues and troubles of the present life, hence the metaphorical expression "to be in Abraham's Bosom" as meaning to be in repose and happiness with him. The bosom has the feminine connotation and is translated in Swedish as “sköte”; ie womb. It is used to describe the lap of a sitting person; —to take into one’s arms, onto one’s bosom, to sit on one’s knee, is to comfort and to make secure. To take into one’s heart a loved one. Bringing us back to Izanagi and Izanami, whose names mean "He Who Invites" and "She Who Invites. They are only the last pairing of five couples that make up the first man, as can be seen from the pentagram star. First is established the primary vertical relationship between heaven and earth; the central pillar from feet to head. Then feet to hands, and lastly hand to hand across horizontally. Izanagi and Izanami are defined as Fire and Water (Ka+Mi), Yang and Yin, Left and Right hand stretched out with open arms inviting us in. Drawing us in to its heart in the centre —the attraction point between the polar opposites where a perfect equilibrium exists. We can see that the vertical body has its centre (of gravity) located in the hip and lower abdominal area; ie our Hara and womb, whilst the intersection of our horizontal arms meet at the middle of the chest, at our bosom and heart. Two areas that nevertheless join in the understanding of our central core. This

very much relates to the Vajrayana Buddhist concepts of the Diamond Realm and of the Womb Realm. To finish we may end on the note that Krishna कृ ष —incarnate God, means “magnet”, “the all attractive”.

The Egos defence mechanisms.

Pride, doubt, fear and anger for starters. Already knowing, arrogance and fixed opinions follows closely. Avoidance and irresponsibility sums it up. We can see how we rely and resort to these when we feel insecure. It’s the go to place of escape. The “I” sense; the “me and mine”, wants to be left alone, not questioned too hard. If exposed we have plan B; self pity, blame and excuses. Isolation and privacy can masquerade as integrity, loneliness as independence. The Ego can hide in all variants. Put a brave face on and stoically endure quiet suffering. Or simply being lost among many others in a partial identity belief in yourself, doing the best one can. Only will this ever become of paramount importance is when we find an interest in the spiritual domain of life. Then these considerations will be our daily observations. These personal attributes, albeit universal, stand in stark contrast to the nothingness upon which they are displayed, —the background of your clean slate, the state of emptiness, or Sunyata in Buddhism. It is your mirror of self reflection. The wholesome, the good and sound qualities will also be reflected and those can be cultivated, but an appreciation of the Ego is of foremost importance. Christianity names it Original Sin. Buddhism calls it Primordial Ignorance. Hinduism name it Maya; Illusion.

An Ingrained Blindspot.

The stripes run deep in the veins. Too close to home that most of us miss it. Not that our ways are unknown to us. We can’t but acknowledge our own personality, yet what we can’t recognise is how pervasive the national and regional conditioning are on us. We take it for granted as it is who we are, who we’ve been brought up to be, including values, attitudes, opinions etc etc. Since we live in our home environment and share the common outlook we are confirmed in our ways. Yes there are individual differences and to a degree an acknowledgment of other ways of life around the world, but not often a deep enough recognition of how much we are acting according to a set mould. Often, when we have traveled and lived abroad, away from home for an extended length of time, upon return we see our own people (in my case the Swedes) much more objectively and clearly. Sometimes we are shocked to the degree of national blindness that exists to certain behaviours that is second nature to us. We often accept as standard and absolutely normal ways that can be seen as reprehensible in other cultures. Yet because it’s part of the fabric of our society and national psyche we don’t see it as anything amiss. We accept people as they are and find our di ff erences interesting and informative, often making jokes about a nation’s idiosyncrasies and habits yet often without probing deeper into our own set of conditions. For most of us this doesn’t matter as we live among equals and life goes on as usual. Yet what we remain unaware of is the tremendous relief we can experience once we see that we are not our inherited condition. In a spiritual awakening we are made aware of the chasm

that exist between who you really are at the core compared to the mould that you live your life out of. It comes both as a relief and a shock as you realise how blind you’ve been, acting like a pre-programmed robot much of the time. It humbles us as we realise we are not always right, our ways are not always the best to judge others from. It makes us able to listen to others more easily because we’re not fundamentally set on how things are anymore. It makes us question ourselves, our ways and habits. This is what spiritual revelation brings to you, the objectivity to see things truthfully; to see yourself clearly. Not always clear cut but always with the ability to probe till you find the truth taking everything into account. It becomes a fascinating journey —Self discovery.

Life Changing.

To question where you come from is far from easy. It will challenge every relationship you have. You are in fact rebelling against the accepted norms in your society. This will especially be difficult if you are bound by creed, religion, race, and family values. If you go against blood you’ll be seen as a traitor. To become free, to extradite yourself from your kind, will ruffle feathers. No doubt about it, especially if you’re outspoken about it. Because by taking a stand you also take a stand against blind adherence to convention. That will not go down well with your peers as you undermine their position. You might be forced to leave it all behind, not even able or allowed to return. This is often the case in deeply religious communities where your identity lies in the common shared origin. Yet what we are experiencing is a growing up, a coming of age, to find our own freedom to be who we want to be. Yet even then, many of our ingrained habits and value systems will remain in place. But at least you now know it. Being aware of where we come from can give us pride without having to be bound by its norms and regulations. We have freed ourselves from a blind acceptance of from where we were born. This may seem natural and easy to some but it’s good to recognise the deeper attachments we as people have to our roots, even unconsciously. And when called into question might spark long forgotten strongholds that we still adhere to. I fondly remember a conversation I had with a fellow retreat participant many years ago. Actually now thinking about it, there were two separate conversations I had at the time. Both with young men on the path of finding spiritual liberation. We were in Wat Suan Mokkh in southern Thailand to sit a 10 day meditation course. The first conversation was with a very animated young person. He was filled with spirit and overjoyed with excitement of the benefits and insights of the samadhi state of mind. And I questioned him, what if that state would leave him, would he doubt? I asked, if God removes his spirit what will you rely on? The other conversation I had was with a young Israeli just out of the army. We spoke about spiritual freedom and what that means in relation to culture norms and fixed religious assumptions. I asked him if he would be willing to give up his Jewish heritage to be free? He was taken aback as he realised what an enormous challenge that would be. Just to be a human being without strings attached is a very rare thing, if at all possible? Would you dare? Ahh I remember another similar conversation; in Iwama a young student and I shared our faith and belief in Jesus Christ, and in the conversation hit upon the question of trust. Now I’m a firm believer of having nothing to rely on, nothing to prop up my understanding with. So when we discussed the necessity of surrender on the spiritual path I asked him if he was ready to give up Jesus to be free? Because if Jesus is the truth he

claims to be, then there would be no fear of letting go of the image we hold of him in order to seek our salvation in truth alone. Because then, wherever we’d find truth, Jesus would be there. That is Faith; letting go of everything and trusting truth.

Out of Common Stock.

—Out of the root of Jesse. “Then a shoot will spring up from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots will bear fruit. The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him—the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and strength, the Spirit of knowledge and fear of the LORD.” Now wouldn’t it be nice if everyone inherited such a spirit? Not only granted a few? Yet we can’t completely disown a link back to a common ancestor can we? Adam and Eve anyone? Or simply follow the genetic code back in time. Are we by default inherited with spirit? Or is it a God given extra? Is it in the genes or do we have to have it infused or transferred? Is it like a seed planted that in time will sprout? It seems like it because when you ask people of their experience they claim they already knew it, always have had it, upon realisation. Spirit seems to be the kernel of who we are in essence. The very core foundation of where we come from, our common origin. And if that is so, shouldn’t we hurry to make its acquaintance? Or like most do, take it in their stride and wait for its apportioned time? So what’s common about it? What are the traits we share? That we can attribute to a common stock regardless of gender, age or inclination? That we can cross reference and find commonalities in? Not in the superficiality of life’s issues but in the deepest most part of ourselves. Find that place and you will have no quarrel with anyone.

If the shoe fits..

We should take it personally, we should feel that we are implied. If not, what’s the point? True religious teachings should make us uncomfortable. The truth should affect us. It should prick our conscience and make us think. Social criticism should touch us and feeling bad is not always a bad thing. If we feel selected out, if the shoe fits, wear it. It only means we’re human and fit the profile. We should feel like the culprit. In everything! Because if it’s the human condition it’s us. Nothing is beyond us. Simply being you, you can identify with everyone else. Empathy is this. We resonate with all situations. My bad.

O Sensei said; "In Japan, the feeling of shame is regarded as a certain kind of sensitivity and, therefore, a virtue. How can we not feel shame if we ignore our divine nature and our true purpose in life? This is the origin of all shame. Real understanding of Aikido will only come about through daily purification (misogi) and through constantly striving for the creation of a better world. Where a centre exists, it implies all that surrounds it.”

Remember your true nature.

There are absolutely no advantages remembering all the bad stuff. If you live a life only reminding yourself of all the hardships and pain you’ve experienced since day one, you will

only torture yourself and voluntarily enslave yourself to suffering. It’s most definitely a choice you have. It doesn’t change the past but if you don’t give it so much cred it won’t need to affect your life negatively. We are fundamentally speaking about where you are anchored? To what part of yourself do you tie your identity? To all the pain? Or to the glory of life itself? Both co-exist, in parallel strands, next to each other. They never cross or join up. It’s either the one or the other; sorrow or happiness. They are of different origin, they stem from two very different sources. One is easy to identify with because it’s all around everywhere (pain), while the other is very fleeting and can never be owned (joy). One stems from God, the other from Man. God, or Spirit, is Love and pervades our substratum as the base of our Being. Suffering belongs to the World and is perpetuated eternally by ignorance and confusion, by anger and greed, fear and loneliness. Now where do you choose to lay your attention? It’s that simple really. Yes Life is tough so you’ll need a sword and a shield. But your stance is in the good, in the Love. Only remember the good times, remember your true nature.

It never happened!

It was over even before it got started. It’s the perfect solution actually, and who else than our almighty God could have come up with it? The mind breaks, it can’t come to terms with it. It’s unbelievable and defies all reason. But that’s God for you. It’s almost offensive, keeping us guessing for so long. And then all of a sudden, it all never came to be. We’ve been lead on for so long to believe in the way of the world that it sticks in our eyes when revealed to be all smoke and mirrors to cover up the real state of affairs. Some say salvation comes at the point of death. Some say even in this lifetime. Others say only after trillions of lifetimes and then some. Everyone believes it comes AFTER what has come before. What if salvation comes before? What if everyone, yes even you and me, are already saved? Before “before”. What if you realised that nothing has ever happened? That the past has mysteriously disappeared? Erased from time? That even death has been swallowed up? That all pain and agony throughout all history has been usurped. But not afterwards but before it even happened. That is impossible to get your head around but can nevertheless be revealed to you to be true. In revelation this scenario can be laid out to you, that no one has ever suffered the pain they’ve endured. Not that the suffering masses were extolled afterwards, after their suffering, but long before. Rendering their pain null and void. And they all know it, like waking up from a bad dream realising it was just a nightmare. It never happened! We should be over the moon. They are all alright. We no longer need to suffer their injustice that could never be undone. All the horrors of humanity have already been healed. This is the resurrection of the dead and of mankind.

Awase: Matching, timing and critical distance.

When we begin to learn Awase, the second step of the three progressive learning phases (Kihon, Awase and Ki no Nagare), we must be aware of its three distinct qualities.

1. Distance (Ma-ai).

2. Timing (Aiki no kurai).

3. Balance taking (Kuzushi).

Awase is not just about blending or matching in the sense of flowing together but of disrupting an oncoming attack with perfect poise, timing and effectiveness. Balance breaking, or kuzushi, happens through delivering Aiki upon contact, upon touch. Correct distance, or critical distance, is where you reach but they don’t; you’re landing but they are not, through correct hanmi, or angled stance. Having clarity of attacker and receiver, nage and uke, is essential. Aiki awase is not a harmonious equal balancing of forces but one overcoming the other in an effective use of angles, timing and distance, albeit in a smooth way if skilled. Aiki upon contact disrupts the incoming force before it can consciously make amends and change. Now uke need to become pliable in order to quickly accommodate the change, and receives within his ability his own downfall. With nage and uke being sensitive to the force applied, both monitor and temper their input so that the Aikido performed is powerful, effective, yet without lethal outcome. Smooth yet strong, clear yet not weak. Timing also refer to the calling out. The drawing out of an attack, to initiate a movement so you can preempt and intercept it early on. Yamabiko, the mountain echo, refers to this skill and ability to draw someone out. To attract the incoming force in order to capture it. A boxer lower his guard to open for his opponent to come in. This initiative sometimes naturally pulls someone in. Proactive is the stance of Awase. There’s no waiting around for the attacker to launch. Aiki no kurai refer to the mindset of seeing things in a larger perspective so you’re able to be a step ahead and therefore be able to nip in the budd any attempt to disrupt. Put the lid on early. You will be able to control the situation, even enfold the other, with your overreaching awareness and intent.

How much force?

Just right or not enough? Not too much, but not too little. Too much and they freak out, too little and they walk away. Yet sometimes it’s never enough until it’s too much. Don’t clap out early or people will lose respect. Hold down with love like you would restrain a child, but let go in time not to cause upset. Perfect timing between open and close will baffle them. The Buddha guardians carried a rope to bind greed. Often it is enough to carry the lead while your dog walks loose. Stray, and feel the noose close. To harness violence we need sensitivity and precision. Perfect response takes the edge off, a caring word at just the right moment. A kiai, an atemi, to throw someone off, to offset the attack, to intercede. Intervene early and no force is needed. It’s over before it even started. That’s how much.

Seven Heavens.

Nobody, it seems, wants to be completely free. There’s always the conditional freedom where only the “I” wants to be free or believes itself to be free to some degree already. There’s always a foothold in one or another image of self that serves as the basis of one’s identity. This is what I call fear of freedom. The fear of letting go.

Many place themselves on an island, out of reach. Judging and filtering everything that approaches out of self preservation. It’s very difficult to have a conversation with these separate entities as they will see everything only from their own point of view. They’ll get away with it, mostly because everyone they engage with are doing the same. In religious or mythological cosmology, the seven heavens refer to seven levels or divisions of the Heavens. The concept, also found in the ancient Mesopotamian religions, can be found in Judaism, Christianity and Islam; a similar concept is also found in some other religions such as Hinduism. Each layer consists of like-minded individuals that exhort similar ideas and beliefs, agreeing upon their worldview to be the correct one. They meet at a level of understanding that confirm and compound each other’s views. Each higher stage surrenders a little bit more, have a little less attachment, than its previous one. But nevertheless retain a vestige in self; in an “I” that identifies as a separate entity, albeit in a more refined and subtle manner. This evolution will continue till every notion of self-identity is seen through and dispelled. Where no strings remain to bind the person to a specific sense of self at all; where the need to be is completely overhauled and made null. This is where full reliance on “nothing whatsoever” takes over and there is nothing between you and Spirit. It’ll leave you with nothing. You will have become “useless” in the eyes of the world. This can be quite a scary thing to realise. This is the reason the sages were known to keep silent in front of others. Not because they don’t have anything to say but because they kind of know it’ll fall on deaf ears. So they wait patiently for modesty where there will be a chance to communicate the subtle truth they are living. Yet meanwhile, their silence is often potent enough to create inroads in a reticent soul, slicing through ego barriers as if it was butter. As we begin to see through the layers of a multitude of ego identities, we come to sense there’s nothing in it for us in the end. So it becomes a little harder each time to surrender our fixed ideas and conditioned attributes. But your load lessens and you can take heart, “For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” The more you give up, the lighter you will feel. The spiritual journey is one of giving up, of learning to surrender completely. A true guru will not stop until you’re completely free. —That was the knowledge, the insight I received, that he only wanted me to be free and nothing else. That’s when I knew I could trust him, that I could give him my life. The spiritual journey is not a joke, it will demand everything from you. So once you embark on it you’d better be ready to go all the way. True grit.

Slingshot.

Accelerate as you come up the slip road onto the overpass. Accelerate out of the bend as you would a motorcycle. As Apollo Xlll used gravity to slingshot itself around the moon back to Earth, we use the centripetal and centrifugal momentum in Irimi/Tenkan as we enter and turn. Like an ice skating pirouette accelerates and decelerates entering and exiting the rotation. The spin is controlled by the opening and closing of your arms; your horizontal pivots that acts as yin and yang forces pulling on the central vertical core. Now if that is telling us something, we need to pay attention to the quality of velocity and the exponentially ever-increasing speed of acceleration. If we drive out of the curve, if we step on it as we hit the highway, we are propelled forward. As a spear thrower lunges his upper body over his lower body he propels his spear from a circular action in the line of direction.

In like manner when using bokken and jo, we use rotational forces to accelerate our thrust or cut. Our hands create the momentum as we drive the cut through from hilt to tip. We clip it like with a scissor. Like a rolling wave ripping through the body. The sliding hand on the jo or spear is not a mere adherence to form but an aid to accelerate your weapon exponentially. The mechanics are there even if you don’t slide, you work it between the hands. Now you’ll realise that this is the workings of the opposing forces of yin and yang in rotation, and you’ll find it in everything you touch. But what is mind blowing is not the rotation but the acceleration. It drives through. That’s why it’s so difficult to resist. You can’t keep up. Before you know it, you’re on the ground. No wonder the original meaning of the Vajra was used for sling weapons. The propelling force was then attributed to circular discs; Lord Vishnu wields many weapons. Chief among them is the Sudarshana Chakra, the deadly discus of death, swirling around his forefinger. With this in mind we can actually see how the Vajra depicts the horizontal axis of your arms extending from fingertip to fingertip, with its five prongs representing our fingers. Now we have the rotational function stretching all the way out into the palms, wherefrom Vajrapani received his name. This is the power surge we speak of when we mention an embodied and connected Aiki process. We might even say “up-down-turn”? The Aiki-cross working its magic.

In your face.

The Truth is obvious, in your face all the time. There’s no need to analyse this or analyse that when it’s screaming obvious to all. Ramana Maharshi, the renowned sage from Tiruvananalai in south India had come to a spontaneously revealed awakening when he was mere 16 years of age. Upon this radical insight and revelation he turned silent. For years he would not utter a word. Within a few years of his enlightenment he had become recognised as a Saint in the making, not too uncommon a thing to happen in India. As the numbers of devotees grew he remained in silence, letting his incredible presence of Being do the talking. His inner state was enough to affect the people he met. The Truth that he had found within was so profound that it was hard to talk about, difficult to make it justice in words. But he didn’t have to, it was stark obvious to all that met him. They were blasted by his radiance and many times were engulfed in the bliss of his inner state, tasting the reality he lived simply by being near to him. These insights would carry like a flame that is transferred from one torch to another. Like dry wood will catch fire and spread Ramanas fire is still spreading today, touching people’s insides. His silence did not mean he could not speak nor that he never did. He spoke on occasion when needed but many times he chose to be quiet because things were so obvious to him, many of the questions asked of him didn’t need a verbal answer because the answer was staring them in their face. Ramana knew that the answer to their questions lay in the recognition of the Truth Absolute, which incidentally makes all relative distinctions clear as well. So he felt no need to explain something that is pretty straightforward as long as you care to look. In India there are millions of learned religious scholars and pandits that are many times much more knowledgeable than all the rishes, seers and saints that walk the countryside. They serve an important function in that to pass on the ancient traditions and knowledge contained in the Vedas, the foundation of the Hindu belief system. Their business is to fact check that all spiritual revival happens in accordance with scriptural injunctions. So they question a lot and argue over textual

differences, comparing and judging. They also reserve judgment to approve or disprove would-be saints. Once Ramana was questioned about his legitimacy, thinking he was not fulfilling all the religious criteria scripture ascribed. As it happened, Ramana had just read a passage in a little known script giving allowance for his particular situation, which he simply left open for the visiting pundit to see. Speaking, let alone arguing is too much of an ask when things are straightforward. For some people this is more obvious than for others, but nevertheless the Truth is self evident and open to all to see. Once we come upon it we will marvel at its simplicity. It’s not that we can’t speak about it, but it renders it obsolete if you argue over it or analyse it to death. Silence is many times the only sane reply possible.

You know it when you feel it.

The body is getting older, not as agile as it used to be. I’m getting more selective in my choices but I spread my field of interest wider. I touch to feel if it pleases me. Is this selfish or is it just that I’m getting more precise in what I want? Assessing people happens faster and I spend less time worrying about pleasing others. When you know what you like after many years of searching it’s within your right I would say. In Aikido I’m very aware of, and certain of what I want to feel. I’m not into combat though I can enjoy a tussle from time to time. I’m into technique, feeling and principles and when you lay hands on each other to feel non-resistance and a connected body moving without a trace of violence. I’m into a relationship that happens if both wants to participate. If both are ready to lay down their arms. I have no need nor desire to compete, I much faster walk away. I’ll try to convince you as long as you’re not to set in your ways. Each to their own, there’s more than one way to do Life but when things happen without you having to do a thing, and there’s a silent understanding where we know what’s right simply because it’s obvious. You feel it, see it. This is the place where everything can happen. If you come across something new can you change your ways? If you come across something true can you give up the old?

A completely different way to move.

If you’ve never done it this way, like I, you’d never known it by yourself. You’d need someone to show you, over a period of time, to get it right. I’ve learned the basic Iwama system since I was eleven but I never learned how to move internally. So now I have to relearn a complete new way of movement. I can’t go on with the old. Compared to the new way the old doesn’t work. But by doing so I’m rediscovering O Sensei’s intent and Aiki. I’m remoulding every technique and remastering the sword and jo. I’ve kept the Iwama framework and form (as it’s all I know) but changed everything in its approach and methodology. If Iwama is known for its basics, this is its precursor. How to connect and align body parts into one functional entity before we even look at technique. A system that works for any application, any usage. A way that does not give way but offsets upon contact. Not necessarily violent or abusive but nevertheless invasive, too difficult to escape once engaged. And you don’t even have to do anything to Uke. Mind your own space and work your body according to the principles. Then allow for sensitivity to shave off the rough corners. Start big, exaggerate to feel the movement, then draw it smaller and smaller using the same principles. I find the legwork a revelation, how if done correctly, binds the upper

body and serves to make movement flawless. I need three things at least, first a connected body, then the Aiki principle, and lastly a developed Hara. Each of those skill sets involves many detailed instructions.

A Talk by Swami Krishnananda.

Do you aspire for God realisation? What is your aim? Do you aspire for God realisation? Do you want to enter into the bosom of the creator of the cosmos? What is it that you are thinking? What are you keeping in your mind? Suppose the Absolute calls you, saying, "Come on, I want you." Will you go? And will you leave this gentleman or this lady here who is with you? You don't care for them, hmm? Or will you take them also? The Absolute calls every atom of the universe. This is what you call evolution, as scientists would say. Every atom is moving in some direction. This is the evolutionary process. It is a call from the almighty supreme that the world has refused. We are restless; nobody has peace of mind. This restlessness is caused by the finitude of the personality. You feel limited. You are limited physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially, politically, and finally your span of life is also limited. So there is nothing unlimited in this world. But there is a longing from inside to break this limitation, to break the limitation of space and time itself. You do not like to be confined to a little space. You would like to conquer the whole of space. You want to go to the sun and the moon and the stars and beyond even the limits of space itself. And you would like to defy time by trying to be immortal. This is the urge for expansion in man, due to which he wrongly tries to grab things and become the emperor of the whole world. He would like to conquer everything and make it his own. Even space and time he won't leave alone. That also must be his because space and time limit him. Spatial delimitations cause a sense of location in our personality. You locate yourself someplace because of spatial delimitation. And you don't live eternally because of temporal limitation. So the whole effort of man is to defy spatial limitation and temporal limitation. When you defy space and overcome it, you become infinite. When you defy time, you become immortal. So the whole search of the universe seems to be only to bring you over the brink of infinity and eternity, endless existence and infinite existence. Existence should not be finite; it should be infinite. And not just for a few minutes; endlessly. Suppose you are the king of the whole world for one second. Would that be all right? Everybody wants to be king of the world, so okay, you are king of the whole world—but for only one second! Or suppose you could live for endless years, but like a pig—would you like that? So what do you want? You want neither short life nor long life. What do you say? I will give you the longest life, but like a pig or a tree; or a short life like a king. Do you want a long life or a short life? See, actually you have some difficulty expressing your requirements. What you really want is to have the longest duration of existence, endless permission to live, together with the greatest of intelligence, not like a tree or a stone or a pig. And the greatest of intelligence implies the highest power also. The greater the knowledge, the greater the power. So omniscience, omnipotence and omnipresence is what you want. Here is the essence of the whole matter. You are searching finally for that peculiar, intriguing something called omnipresence, omniscience and omnipotence, which includes infinity and eternity. And when you get it, the mind cannot conceive what will be your destiny. Suppose this state is at hand. Christ said, "The kingdom of heaven is at hand." Suppose this little thing that I told you is immediately practicable; what will you do? You will burst into the substance of the cosmos and the bliss of it and the glory of it, the grandeur of it, the majesty of it, which no human mind can conceive.

Now, briefly, they say this is God. One word. It is impossible to describe what it means. It is a word connoting something which is indescribable and yet impossible to avoid. You are searching for that. In that you will never be cut off by the time process and you will not be limited to a little space. There will be all space and all time and all knowledge. This is attributed to what people generally call the Supreme Absolute. That Supreme Absolute is hearing what we are saying right now. We are not talking in a corner of which it has no knowledge. It has got all eyes. Everywhere are its eyes, everywhere its hands and feet, everywhere its legs, everywhere its everything. Our eyes are only in one place. Where the eyes are, the nose cannot be; where the nose is, the hands cannot be; where the hands are the legs cannot be; where the heart is the brain is not—and so on and so forth. This is limitation. That is not like that. Everywhere is its brain, everywhere its heart, everywhere its hands, everywhere its eyes, everywhere everything. It is all everywhere everything, at all times. What do you call this condition? At all times everywhere everything. Can you contain this thought? If you can contain this you are a super-person, you are not a human being. And you will not be a human being after all. You are something different. The whole world will be reflected in you. We can call this cosmic man, superman, divine incarnation, Godman, —there are all sorts of names for this person. When he moves, when he walks on the road, he will feel the whole universe is moving with him. And it is not a joke. There is a connection between a flower in the garden and the stars in heaven. Where are the stars? Where is your garden? Oh, what a wonder! Actually there is no distance between the stars and the place where we are sitting. There is a universal electromagnetic force operating everywhere. An electromagnetic field has no distance. Everywhere it operates equally. The universe can be compared with an infinitely large electromagnetic field. And therefore there is no distance between the sun and us also. And it is a wonder, to think like that. The power of the universe is vibrating through every cell of our bodies. But through egoism, selfassertiveness, pride, foolishness, idiocy—whatever you call it—we repel the entry of the cosmic force into us. We have closed the windows of our house, and therefore the breeze of the cosmos does not enter. We are very selfish. "I, I, I"—everything is "I" only. There is no "I" in this world speaking. There is only one "I"—a big, capital "I." In that "I" all the little "I's" are merged. And the ocean has all the drops. Actually, the scriptures say there's only one man in the universe. There are not many people. Only one person exists. In the words of the RigVeda, that one person is Mahapurusha, which means "Great Person." An intelligence pervades throughout your body. There is an intelligence pervading the entire cosmos. That is what you call God, actually. Of it, your intelligence is a little drop. The Supreme Intelligence pervading all things and the whole universe can be translated into the body of one person. We're an organism. So there is some sense in people saying, "God only is." Many people say, "God only is; nothing else is." What does this mean actually? This whole universe is animated by one consciousness in which you are also included because you are not outside the universe. What exists finally? Neither I, nor you, nor anybody. But everybody still is. Millions of cells are operating in this body and many cells put together make one human being. But when I say, "Who is coming?" you don't say, "Many bundles of cells are coming." You don't say that. So likewise the multitudes of the universe, the trees and mountains and rivers, the sun, moon, stars, galaxies, whatever you can think of, are only part and parcel of the limbs of this cosmic organism which is animated by a supreme intelligence. That alone is, that's all. And nothing else can be, because everything is a part of the universal process. You cannot stand outside the cosmos. And that whole cosmic intelligence includes your intelligence, and your destiny is in its hands. And the more you love it, the more blessed you are. Here is the whole of religion, all philosophy, all bhakti [devotion], all yoga, or whatever you call it. Without using words like that, in simple language I told you what the truth of the matter is. Your heart will throb by hearing all this.

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