Kevin Ziegler

An intimate interview with Optimus Prime.

ALSO:

$80.99

2013

How green is your hydraulic fluid? The environmental impact of your fluid waste.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

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Some facts about Bender.

Brought to you from RobotVodka.

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An intimate interview with the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime.

How green is your hydraulic fluid: A look at how to be environmentally friendly.

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This magazine is a parody.

Any and all characters are copyrighted and trade marked to their respective owners/creators.

All opinions expressed in this magazine are in no way associated to those owners/ creators.

All advertisements are intended to provide authenticity. The products are not real.

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SOME FACTS ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST BELOVED ROBOTS SCAMPS:

BENDER !

• Bender, whose full name is Bender Bending Rodríguez, is a fictional robot character in the television series Futurama.

• Designated in-universe as Bending Unit 22, unit number 1,729 (the smallest number that can be represented as the sum of two cubes in two ways, 1³ + 12³ = 9³ + 10³),serial number 2716057 (952³ - 951³),he was created by series creators Matt Groening • and David X. Cohen, and is played by John DiMaggio.

He fulfills a comic, anti-hero-type role

in Futurama, described by fellow character

Leela as an "alcoholic, whore-mongering,

chain-smoking gambler".

• According to the character's backstory, Bender was built in Mexico (the other characters reference his "swarthy Latin charm" throughout the overall

narrative).

• However, Bender is also Viewers are informed, occasionally portrayed as through his own testimony, kind, suggesting that he of Bender's prejudice is not as belligerent as against non-robots: his he claims, a view often dialogue often contains echoed by his friends. anti-human expressions such as "kill all humans."

Exceptions who are not subject to Bender's prejudicial attitude are those individuals on his "Do Not Kill" list, which seems to comprise only his best friend Fry and his colleague Hermes (Hermes is added after the episode "Lethal 2 Inspection").

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AN INTERVIEW WITH THE ONE AND ONLY OPTIMUS PRIME. RQ WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET SOME TIME WITH THE AUTOBOT LEADER AND ASK SOME DEEP QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS PERSONAL LIFE.

RQ: Thanks for sitting down and talking with us. It is a real privelage.

RQ: How would define your time here on Earth?

OP: No, the privelage is mine.

RQ: So, lets dive right in, shall we?

OP: Tumultuous. I wish our (Cybertron’s) problems hadn’t become yours. For that I appologize.

OP: Ask away.

RQ: No need sir.

RQ: What does THE Optimus Prime do in his spare time, other than grant interviews?

OP: Thank you, but If our ship had not crashed here, your world would be far safer.

However, I have made connections with people that are some of the strongest bonds I have experienced. Human loyalty is very strong.

OP: (laughter) Well, I will spend hours of my down time tending to my rose garden...

RQ: Pardon the interruption, but you have won awards for your roses, have you not?

OP: Well, I don’t talk about it, but yes I have won some local awards for best roses. That is secondary to the process of caring for these delicate and beautiful flowers.

RQ: I agree my human friends are very dear to me.

OP: As are mine. I would lay my spark on the line to protect them from harm.

RQ: Quite admirable sir.

RQ: I would say that it is part of your nature, to care for and protect others.

OP: Perhaps, but that is for others to say.

RQ: What is your first memory of Earth?

OP: After coming back online following our crash landing, the first thing I remember is the sky. We have little to no atmosphere on Cybertron, so to bare witness to such a blue above was amazing.

OP: Perhaps.

RQ: Have you had time to experience much of human culture since living on this world? If so what have you come to appreciate?

OP: I have had some time to experience some of this world’s culture. I love movies.

Especially what they refer to as “RomComs”.

RQ: Romantic Comedies? Really? Why so?

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OP: We don’t have “romance” on Cybertron, or at least not that I have experienced. My time on Cybertron was nothing but war. It is a concept I find interesting. I also like to laugh. I don’t get much chance to do so.

RQ: Any “RomCom” you like more than another?

OP: Terminator 2. I love the relationship between John and T800. A boy and his robot, truly a timeless concept. And, that T1000, what a hoot.

RQ: ok. Well. If you could be sitting across from Megatron right now, what might you say to him.

OP: Megatron understands nothing, but violence... If we fight, by the end of this day, one shall stand and one shall fall.

RQ: Profound sir, very profound. Again, thank you for your time with us today. Is there anything else you would like to say before we let you go?

OP: Only this, I find that the human races’ greatest weakness is their hesitancy to tell others how they love them while they are alive. Life, even my own, is shorter than we would know, allow yourself time foster the relationships that broaden your life.

RQ: I believe I would cry if I were not incapable of it. Thank you Optimus for such a delightful interview.

OP: The pleasure is mine.

RQ: Oh, actually, could you just end the interview with your most famous line?

OP: Certainly... Autobots, transform and roll out!

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How Hydraulic Fluids can damage the world.

All of us use it. Without it we wouldn’t be able to move in any fashion. But, what do you do with it when you change it? The following is a list of facts on the impact our waste has on the world around us.

What are hydraulic fluids? Hydraulic fluids are a large group of liquids made of many kinds of

chemicals. They are used in automobile automatic transmissions, brakes, and power steering; fork lift trucks; tractors; bulldozers; industrial machinery; and airplanes.

The three most common types of hydraulic fluids are mineral oil, organophosphate ester, and polyalphaolefin. Some of the trade names for hydraulic fluids include Durad®, Fyrquel®, Skydrol® , Houghton-Safe®, Pydraul®, Reofos®, Reolube®, and Quintolubric® . (Use of trade names is for identification only and does not imply endorsement by the Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry, the Public Health Service, or the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.)

Some hydraulic fluids have a bland, oily smell and others have no smell; some will burn and some will not burn. Certain hydraulic fluids are produced from crude oil and others are manufactured.

What happens to hydraulic fluids when they enter the environment?

• Hydraulic fluids can enter the environment from spills, leaks in machines that use them, or from storage areas and waste sites.

• If spilled on soil, some of the ingredients in hydraulic fluids will stay on top and others will sink into the groundwater.

• In water, some hydraulic fluids' ingredients will transfer to the bottom and can stay there for more than a year.

• Certain chemicals in hydraulic fluids may break down in air, soil, or water, but how much breaks down isn’t known.

• Fish may contain some hydraulic waste fluids if they live in contaminated water.

DISPOSE OF YOUR WASTE CORRECTLY AND PROTECT THE WORLD AROUND YOU.

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TM