Women’s Health · Yo u r G u i d e t o W e l l n e s s ·
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 991
9/4/15 2:30 PM
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 992
9/4/15 2:30 PM
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 1
9/4/15 2:30 PM
SCC1524_NL-Erica-Yoga_StLMagWHG-OL.indd 1 WomensHealth_1015_.indd 2
8/26/15 AM 9/4/15 11:50 2:30 PM
Contents
5
love heals a lot of wounds Why close, happy relationships keep us healthy
8
still waters run deep The universe’s beverage is much more complicated than we knew.
10
good things come in threes Since welcoming triplets, this Ballwin couple has learned a lot in little time.
women’s health
13
striking a balance There’s an art to juggling a busy calendar.
16
throw love at it Beth Lewandowski is living through the worst grief of all—by practicing the joy her son taught her.
18
class acts Hospitals and nonprofits offer helpful lessons at little or no charge.
20
calm wisdom It takes time to heal—and not even patients have much patience anymore.
Women’s HealtH · Yo u r G u i d e t o W e l l n e s s ·
Cover illustration by Sol linero WomensHealth_1015_.indd 991
9/3/15 10:03 AM
October 2015 stlmag.com
11:50 AM
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 3
3
9/4/15 2:30 PM
My
heart’s
in it.
You know Missouri Baptist is a top heart hospital. But the truth is, there’s heart in everything we do. Doctors call it world-class medicine.
You’ll call it MoBap. missouribaptist.org
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 4
9/4/15 2:30 PM
medical news
women’s health
Love Heals a Lot of Wounds Why close, happy relationships keep us healthy by jeannette cooperman
hypochondriacs should all marry immediately. Since 1858, studies have consistently shown that married people live longer and are at lower risk of cancer, heart disease, depression, pneumonia, substance abuse, suicide, dementia‌you name it.
October 2015 stlmag.com
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 5
5
9/4/15 2:30 PM
women’s health
According to Dr. Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist at Brown University, a married man with heart disease lives an average of nearly four years longer than an unmarried man with a healthy heart. And a 2013 study using National Cancer Institute data found that married people lived longer after a cancer diagnosis than did people who were unmarried. What the studies forget to add is that the “marriage benefit” applies mainly to happily married people, because the chronic stress of an unhappy marriage is horrible for your health. So is divorce, and those who are widowed often see their own health abruptly plummet. There are the other qualifiers: Single women with a supportive network of friends and family do quite well. The real problem’s all those guys resistant to leaning on something called a support network. They don’t get regular checkups and screenings on their own. They don’t pour out their worries at bedtime. They face every crisis and sorrow alone. Dr. Dean Rosen, a local psychologist in private practice, adds an even bigger qualifier to the celebration of marriage: “Being married is correlated with better health, but we don’t know if it causes it.” In other words, maybe it’s not so much that marriage makes you healthier but instead that healthier people are more likely to marry—because they’re optimists, or they take risks, or they take better care of themselves and have the kind of psychological maturity needed to sustain a long-term relationship. Bottom line, loneliness and hostility are the killers. An unhappy mar-
6
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 6
medical news
riage shoots the risk of heart attack right up again. In one recent study, an irritable, discontented marriage was as bad for the heart as a regular smoking habit. And sociologists recently found that long, bad marriages put older women, especially, at greater risk of heart disease. Researchers Ronald Glaser and Janice Kiecolt-Glaser (yes, they’re married) found that women in unhappy relationships had weaker immune responses than did those in happy relationships. In another study, they gave couples hot-button topics to discuss and found that those who argued with the greatest hostility showed the largest declines in immune system function. Study after study has shown that it’s easier to get sick and harder to heal if you’re in a relationship that’s rife with conflict. If you trust the people you love, though, “you can let out things that you might suppress in your public everyday self,” Rosen notes. A friend or partner helps regulate your negative emotions; you don’t have to do it all by yourself. The body registers the difference instantly: When University of Virginia researchers administered mild electric shocks to happily married women, their brains showed less stress response when they were holding their husbands’ hands. Friendship can be just as beneficial, Rosen says: “That’s why I think single people have to put more effort into building and developing good friendships. That was the strength of the gay community before marriage was legal. And something else we know is that a sure sign of a bad marriage is fewer friendships. People get stuck being unhappy with each other.”
rebuilding hearts On October 23, one of the nation’s leading regenerative medicine experts, Dr. Doris Taylor, will visit St. Louis to speak at the Women in Science & Entrepreneurship Conference. The director of regenerative medicine at the Texas Heart Institute, Taylor and her team have successfully removed the original cells from cadaver hearts and reseeded the remaining “ghost heart” with cells created from an individual’s stem cells, essentially rebuilding the heart to perfectly match its future host. “We can build virtually any organ,” says Taylor, who believes that regenerative medicine could someday serve as a much-needed alternative to donated-organ transplants. “Regenerative medicine is really opening a door.” —alyssa vaughn
W h o a
•
•
•
3
Photography courtesy of Texas Heart Institute
9/4/15 2:30 PM
St. Loui
We offer you more than just a mammogram. We help you manage your breast health at every stage of life with an umbrella of comprehensive services and a higher level of personalized care: • Mammography – We have expanded our 3D Mammography to better serve you: ° St. Luke’s Women’s Center St. Luke’s Hospital 232 S. Woods Mill Road, Suite 200 East 314-205-6267 ° St. Luke’s Women’s Center - Chesterfield Valley 6 McBride & Son Drive, Suite 102 636-530-5505 ° Midwest Breast Care, an affiliate of St. Luke’s CDI 450 North New Ballas Road, Suite 250 N Creve Coeur 314-567-4449 ° St. Luke’s Mobile Mammography Van The only mobile unit in the area offering 3D. Schedule an appointment or view the schedule: 314-205-6267 • stlukes-stl.com • Nurse navigators and breast care coordinators • Risk assessment and management program
• Certified genetic counselor • Diagnostic breast ultrasound • Automated whole breast ultrasound (SonoCiné) – helps find smaller cancers earlier, especially in woman with dense breasts. In the St. Louis area, SonoCiné is exclusively available at St. Luke’s. • Breast MRI • Minimally invasive image-guided breast biopsy • High-Risk Breast Clinic – ongoing surveillance and risk factor management
3-2873
St. Luke’s Hospital has been designated a Breast Imaging Center of Excellence by the American College of Radiology and is a member of the National Accreditation Program for Breast Centers. St. Luke’s is also a Spirit of Women® Premier Hospital, recognized for innovation and excellence in women’s healthcare and outreach. For more information, visit stlukes-stl.com/breasthealth. St. Louis Magazine Breast Services Ad.indd 1 WomensHealth_1015_.indd 7
8/20/15 2:22 PM PM 9/4/15 2:30
women’s health
nutrition
drop to cause dehydration. “A lot of us walk around dehydrated—our skin itchy and flaky, our throats parched, and our noses bleeding— when we’re breathing winter’s forced air,” says Rabia Rahman, instructor in nutrition and dietetics at Saint Louis University. Most of us don’t drink enough to cleanse ourselves of toxins, she adds. Water in plastic bottles adds its own toxins. Plasticides leach out, especially if the bottle’s been sitting in the sun, waiting in a warm car, or stuck in the freezer. These phthalates mimic estrogen and have been linked to all sorts of reproductive, immunological, and cancerous conditions. So does tap water need to be filtered? It depends. The universe’s beverage is much more complicated Last year, researchers than we knew. tested water in 25 municipalities. In one-third of the “Eight glasses a day? That actually was not based on water supplies, they found traces of unregulated congood science,” says Dr. Steven Willey, an internal medi- taminants—18, all told, including 11 perfluorinated comcine specialist. “It was based, decades ago, on the idea that pounds, an herbicide, two solvents, caffeine, an antibacyou should take in a certain amount of water per calorie terial compound, a metal, and an antidepressant. If your ingested. It turns out that we do need a good amount of water’s that laden, filter it. liquid: 100 ounces for men, 72 ounces for women. But that If you’re drinking glass-bottled water, wean yourself includes the liquid in foods, and the rest doesn’t have to from added sugars or artificial sweeteners, Rahman sugbe all water. Another myth is that because tea and coffee gests. Try slices of lemon, orange, or lime; float strawberhave caffeine, they don’t count.” Even fruits and vegeta- ries or raspberries in the water bottle; add cucumber slicbles, such as watermelon and cucumber, can contribute. es or crushed peppermint leaves. “I don’t think you need So how do you know you’re drinking enough? If to spend extra money on vitamin water,” she says, “unless you’re rarely thirsty and your urine is colorless or pale, that’s the only way you’re going to drink the water.” says the Mayo Clinic. As much as 60 percent of our As for the frequent trips to the loo, Rahman shrugs body weight is water, and it only takes a 1 to 2 percent apologetically: “It’s worth it.” —j.c.
still waters run deep
mammography on wheels 8
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 8
St. Luke’s Hospital recently rolled out a mobile mammography unit that offers both 2-D and 3-D mammograms. The latter allows radiologists to view breast tissue in 1-millimeter layers, improving early breast cancer detection by as much as 40 percent. “Registered mammography X-ray technologists perform the mammograms on the mobile unit, and all mammograms are reviewed with computeraided detection,” says Dr. Paula George, a breast radiologist at St. Luke’s. The van travels all over the area and can be scheduled for visits to businesses, schools, and other organizations by calling 314-205-6267. stlukes-stl.com. —a.v.
Photography courtesy of St. Luke’s Hospital
9/4/15 2:30 PM
If you need to discuss
Fertility with a physician, one of the most important decisions you can make is choosing an expert. • • • • • • • • •
Medical Therapies Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) Surgical Solutions In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) (including donor egg) Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) Cryopreservation Cancer Treatments and Fertility Preservation LGBT Family Building Surrogacy
Our board-certified physicians offer decades of experience providing consistently high pregnancy success rates, honest and accurate information, and compassionate care.
The Fertility and Reproductive Medicine Center | Call Today: (314) 286-2400
Central West End Location 4444 Forest Park Avenue, Suite 3100 St. Louis, MO 63110
Member of the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology
Missouri Baptist Medical Center 3023 North Ballas Road, Building D, Suite 450 St. Louis, MO 63131
fertility.wustl.edu WomensHealth_1015_.indd 9
9/4/15 2:30 PM
women’s health
p r e g n a n cy
good things come in threes Since welcoming triplets, this Ballwin couple has learned a lot in little time. “Nobody ever thinks, ‘Oh, I might have three babies at the same time,” says 30-year-old mother Jennifer Jacobsmeyer, “especially when infertility runs in your family.” Even after fertility treatment and a year of trying, the kindergarten teacher and her husband, Nate, were shocked when an ultrasound revealed not one but three heartbeats. At 31 weeks, Jennifer went into labor. Dr. Alison Cahill, a Washington University maternal-fetal medicine physician at BarnesJewish Hospital, delivered the triplets: two boys and a girl—all healthy but weighing between 2 pounds, 15 ounces and 3 pounds, 11 ounces. The babies spent the next several weeks in the NICU at St. Louis Children’s Hospital. One at a time, the triplets were sent home. Finally, nine weeks after Jennifer gave birth, on her initial due date, all three of the Jacobsmeyer children—Eddie, Tyler, and Adelyn—were together. Today, life is hectic, but Jennifer wouldn’t have it any other way. She shares three nuggets of wisdom she’s learned.
looking after little hearts 10
pregnant? keep moving. Jennifer’s pregnancy represented a modern approach to multiple gestations. As the Society of Maternal-Fetal Medicine has noted, there’s no research to support the outdated idea that bed rest helps prevent preterm birth in women carrying multiples, says Cahill. Staying healthy and continuing daily activities is recommended. Jennifer continued teaching until a few weeks before delivery.
1. Adapt. “On the one hand, be organized. Everything is laid out here: outfits chosen, bottles made, diapers ready,” Jennifer says. “At the same time, you’ve got to follow their cues. That’s life.” 2. Relax. “You read so much about mommy judgment,” says Jennifer. “I agree with reading books, but if Mickey Mouse is on and I can brush my teeth, it’s not going to rot their brains.” Know what works for your family. 3. Breathe. “There are times when all three are crying,” says Jennifer, “and it’s OK to go out to the mailbox, breathe, and come back with the mail.” —suzanna lourie
Barnes-Jewish Hospital recently launched a maternal cardiac management program for pregnant and postpartum women. “We can anticipate how likely it is that a heart condition will cause problems, what types of problems, and how often,” says Dr. Kathryn Lindley, head of the program. “For those with genetic heart conditions, the baby is at a 50 percent greater risk for also developing a heart problem. The good news is that most women with pre-existing heart problems can still have a healthy pregnancy if under the care of a cardiologist.” —erica sloan
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 10
9/4/15 2:30 PM
October 2015 stlmag.com
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 11
11
9/4/15 2:30 PM
12
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 12
Illustration by Sol Linero
9/4/15 2:30 PM
a h e a lt h y m i n d s e t
striking a balance T h e r e ’ s a n a r t t o j u gg l i n g a b u s y c a l e n da r . by julia feldmeier
It took four rounds of phone tag with two different assistants to find a time when I could talk with Jennifer Joyce, circuit attorney for the city of St. Louis. By the time we finally connected, during a sliver between her morning meetings, I was en route to vacation, furiously typing notes against the bleat of airplane boarding announcements. Like so many women in St. Louis and across America, Joyce and I had plenty of well-meaning intent. But free time? Not so much. On average, full-time U.S. employees work 47 hours a week, according to a recent Gallup report. By contrast, workers in such countries as Germany and Switzerland average 35 hours per week for roughly the same annual income. The U.S. is the only developed nation not to guarantee some amount of paid vacation time, and those who get it don’t always take it. (On average, workers fail to use nearly five vacation days a year, according to the U.S. Travel Association.) When a Vanity Fair/60 Minutes poll this summer asked Americans to choose the animal that most resembles them, 52 percent chose “worker bee”; just 4 percent picked “sloth.” “There is always work to do, and the world will take from you everything you’ve got,” says Joyce, who’s 52. For all her worker bee qualities, she was lovely and gracious on our call, as though she had all the time in the world. This may be because, after 15 years in a high-stakes, high-pressure role, she finally has this work-life balance thing figured out. When she was first elected, in 2000, she tried to tackle everything,
arriving early at the office and speaking at neighborhood meetings nearly every night. At one point, amid a crush of nearly 30 holiday parties in a two-week stretch, she nearly fainted. “I kind of had an epiphany,” she says. “I was unhappy, and I felt like I wasn’t very effective. It was nobody’s fault but mine. I realized, I’m not going to accomplish what I want to accomplish in life if I don’t take care of my instrument: my mental, physical, and emotional health.” Today, Joyce tries to keep a balance between the hours she works and the hours she’s off. It’s still mostly work, but she knows her limitations. “I’m a master delegator,” she says. “I’ve learned to delegate the things that other people can do better than I can, or as well but more efficiently.” Mindfulness—once the purview of monks, now a corporate buzzword— has also made its way into Joyce’s life. She sets reminders on her phone to stretch every hour. If you walk into a meeting with her at 3 p.m., you may find a roomful of lawyers swinging their arms or touching their toes. “It’s good to move around every once in a while,” Joyce says. “You have to set reminders for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll get carried away and forget.”
women’s health
for cady macon, a St. Louis–based life coach, the world may be her oyster—but as one client told her, sometimes there’s too much oyster. In a land of opportunities, finding worklife balance is about focusing on the ones that matter rather than being run down by possibilities. Call it career FOMO—short for “fear of missing out.” It’s what often drives us to say yes to more than we should, thinking that we’ll lose an opportunity—or, worse, lose business. For freelance photographer Elizabeth Wiseman, keeping clients happy used to mean working whenever it was convenient for them. Now, as the mother of a 2-year-old, she’s curbed her flexibility, working in the studio just two days a week while her son is at day care. “It’s scary because you think if you give your clients limitations, they’re going to reel in and go to someone else,” she says. Yet her business hasn’t been affected; she’s still meeting clients’ needs at the same pace that she did while working five days a week. “There are a lot of people who understand that balance, more so than I thought before,” she says. “Part of it is just communicating well with your client. Being professional is also about being honest with your limitations.” As Macon says, “Draw your line in the sand, or other people will draw it for you.” A mentor gave her that advice early in her career, and it still holds true—especially as mobile connectivity keeps us tethered to the office during off hours. More than half of all U.S. workers check their email before and after work and even during sick days, a survey by the American Psychological Association found. State Rep. Stacey Newman spends roughly five months a year in Jefferson City, when the House is in session.
October 2015 stlmag.com
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 13
13
9/4/15 2:30 PM
women’s health
a h e a lt h y m i n d s e t
Those days can be long and intense. When Newman leaves the office, she comes home to an apartment with no Internet. The decision to keep her Jefferson City home disconnected stems partly from a desire to be frugal and partly from an effort to be better balanced. “It’s emotionally healthy for me,” Newman says. “I don’t usually get home till very late at night. I try to give my mind some downtime.” When Newman and I spoke, she’d just returned from a gun violence–prevention summit in Washington with former Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. Newman is passionate about the issues that affect her constituents, particularly gun control and women’s rights. To do her job well, though, she’s learned to manage that passion. The dynamics of politics, she says, means “moderating yourself in terms of when you need to be full-on with your energy.” Toward the end of session, when legislation is fast “It was basically bootcamp,” she says. “Now, what other and furious, Newman says, she knows that there’s little people might perceive as a very difficult job is actually “me” time—she’s typically at the Capitol until midnight. much easier than when I was in training.” “Colleagues I work with on both sides of the aisle, we’re Hui’s expectations for personal time may be lower than there for a policy reason,” she says. “Most of us take that most people’s, but her level of job satisfaction is high. “My responsibility really seriously, and we try to manage our job is who I am,” Hui says. “I’m very invigorated by work. time on little sleep—but we know that we have to take care We’re interacting with people and families at critical times of ourselves, too.” every day. You don’t think of it as a burden.” If time permits between hearings, Newman says, she That sense of purpose can be a powerful driver in and some of her female colleagues will lace up their walk- women’s careers. Though it doesn’t obliterate the need ing shoes and take some brisk laps around the capital. for work-life balance, it does reframe perspective in a way “It’s exercise,” she says, “but that makes the work aspect it’s also a psychological tool to more rewarding. Five Steps Toward a help us focus and come back for “People consistently ask me, Healthier, Happier Life another five hours.” ‘Why do you do this?’” Newman says. “Women who have no 1. Get your bedroom in order. “Your home is a reflechealthcare and victims from work-life balance isn’t tion of what’s going on inside,” Macon says. Studies gun violence are dealing with just about laying out expectashow that people who make their beds identify as happier and sleep better than those who don’t. tions for others; it’s also about way more stress than I am. I try being clear about your own exto put it into perspective—I’m 2. Take smart breaks. One study says 52 minutes pectations. “Your happiness is doing a small piece of what can of consecutive work followed by 17 minutes of break what happens,” says Macon, be done.” time is the optimal formula for productivity. Get up “less your expectation of what Newman has four grandand move around—your body will thank you. children under the age of 7. would happen.” Spending time with them is A cardiac surgeon at Saint 3. Work less. Parkinson’s Law says, “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” Louis University Hospital, both a reprieve from her job’s Dawn Hui is on call every other day-to-day intensity and a re4. Sign off social media. The average user logs 1.72 night and every other weekend. minder of why she puts in the hours per day. Less time spent living through FaceIn the measure of work-life ballong hours. book means more time to enjoy your own life. ance, her scales tip heavily “I look at where they are in toward work. And yet for Hui, life, and I realize how legislation 5. Grab more ZZZs. Sleep deprivation causes $63 this balance is far better than that I work on will affect them,” billion in lost productivity per year. One culprit: cellphones—44 percent of users sleep with their phones what she experienced in her she says. “Any sacrifice I make on beside their beds. Your devices need rest, too. residency, when 30-hour shifts in being away from family is were standard. really impacting their lives.”
14
stlmag.com October September 2015 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 14
Illustration by Sol Linero
9/4/15 2:30 PM
• a floor exclusively for Women Veterans at the new VA hospital • Comprehensive primary, maternity and well-woman care at all outpatient women’s clinics • Collaboration on care/treatment with local experts St. Louis University and Washington University • Yearly Baby Shower for new mom veterans, and much more!
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 15
9/4/15 2:30 PM
throw love at it
B e t h L e wa n d o w s k i i s l i v i n g t h r o u g h t h e w o r s t g r i e f o f a l l— b y p r a c t i c i n g t h e j oy h e r s o n ta u g h t h e r . by jeannette cooperman
You’d think an article on grief would quote a lot of experts. But Beth Lewandowski’s expert was her son. And even after his tragic death—four days before his 21st birthday—his voice rings in her ears. Xander Wohlstadter worked at Baileys’ Range downtown and as a barista at Shaw’s Coffee, and he learned “hello” and “goodbye” in foreign languages to greet the regulars. They brought him old textbooks to feed his voracious curiosity; he could converse with enthusiasm about nearly anything. He was also a clear-eyed, artistic
16
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 16
photographer, and a master of ethnic cuisine, thanks to his mom’s tutelage, and he loved to travel, and to bike through industrial grunge and find its beauty. At Shaw’s Coffee, he’d fallen in love with a pretty young co-worker, Emma Casey. Last New Year’s Eve, they were driving on Chouteau near Lewandowski’s place, a cool rooftop apartment in an old warehouse. She thinks he was planning to stop and pick up an envelope of his photographs before going to First Night at Grand Center. At 9:30 p.m., a 26-year-old slammed his car into Xander’s Mitsubishi Lancer, killing Xander instantly and throwing Emma into a coma.
Illustration by Sol Linero
9/4/15 2:30 PM
a h e a lt h y m i n d s e t
women’s health
The shock hit so hard, Lewandowski pack and rode his bike; made friends felt like she was outside her body. with college profs at the coffeehouse; But when reporters asked whethwatched sunsets with his elderly lander she wanted punishment for the lord, who spoke in broken English. driver who’d killed her son, she said “He was an old soul,” she says. “He no. “The only thing I want is for him made people happy. He made people to come back,” she told the St. Louis smile. And he made a difference.” Post-Dispatch. “So my putting bad A lawyer, Lewandoski has always energy out into the world isn’t going helped clients make their divorces as to do anything. That wasn’t my son. collaborative as possible, which felt I’m just trying to think of what my son like irony when it came time to tackle would want me to do.” her own, but she and Michael manDeep down, she already knew. Xanaged it. She also conducts mediation. der was so sweet-natured, people of“And I always bring them back to their ten called him Smiley. kids,” she says. “If I can remind them Beth Lewandowski with her son, So she met with his father, even how much they both love their kids…” Xander Wohlstadter though her emotions were still raw She doesn’t bring up her own loss from a divorce that had become final often, but she will, especially in her only eight days earlier. And because they’d both loved work as a guardian ad litem, “when they fight about silly Xander so much, she and Michael Wohlstadter managed stuff. I just kind of put it out there as something to think to tell their daughter the horrific news together, as gently about. You can’t predict, and you can’t plan. Life can as possible, and talk every day from then on, making ar- change in an instant.” rangements and planning a memorial service, without a People tend to feel like it’s a betrayal to feel joy when single tense word. Xander wouldn’t have wanted them someone they love is gone. She feels the opposite: “You angry. And he wouldn’t have wanted the service to be sad. have to appreciate all of it. You live for them. You don’t The best of Xander’s many friends spoke at the me- take anything for granted. You show your appreciation.” morial, and afterward they took to texting her, calling her The man she’s seeing now lost his son at 18. “We lost Mom. Looking after her for him. adult children—what are you going to do to us that can Lewandowski spoke too, with Michael and her broth- come close?” she says. “We’ve never had a spat. We don’t er on either side for moral support. At the potluck complain about the little stuff. Someone ahead of me, if dinner afterward, people brought a recipe and a story they don’t move fast enough, I’m not honking, because I of why they chose the dish, which turned into a story don’t know if they just lost someone. about Xander. They left with bags of biscotti baked by “That’s how Xander was. He wouldn’t let you be judgLewandowski and tied with strips torn from his jeans. mental. He would always call you out. He’d say, ‘Mom, you She recalls, “People walked out saying, ‘I feel like I know never know.’ So, yeah, I guess I’m a softer soul now. I know him—and I want to be a better person.’” what’s important—and that gives you a lot of freedom.” The toughest moment came later, when Lewandowski She grins, remembering how random their conversaand her ex-husband took apart their son’s first apartment. tions could be. “You never knew what was going to come It bore so many signs of a life lived fully—and interrupted out of his mouth. That’s the other thing he taught me: to midstream. His dishes were washed, his kitchen well throw love at things. We were probably talking about some stocked—he had the big bag of rice she’d given him, reci- conflict, and I was bitching about it. He said, ‘Just throw pes they’d shared, the bulk spices she’d taught him to buy love at it. You can’t go wrong.’” at Jay International Food Co. He’d gotten more and more Her bright blue eyes—same as his—shine with tears. serious about becoming a dietitian. “He loved to cook, and “He was out there doing it. That’s given me a lot of peace. he liked to tell people what to do,” she says with a twinkle. He had a purpose, and he was living it. Some people get “I was so glad I hadn’t pushed him to go straight to to 90 and never figure that out.” When she worked up the courage to look back at their college,” she adds. Xander graduated from Metro High School in 2012 and wanted to explore possibilities. Le- texts, she was glad she’d sent so many, just out of the blue. wandowski bit her tongue, bought him a camera, and “That’s what I tell my clients: Take time to tell people you gave him enough money to travel a bit. When he came love them, now and every day. I have no regrets, and that’s home, he worked two jobs; studied Russian and German; a huge blessing.” She pauses. “I’m taking the blessings stuffed a notebook and his camera into a tattered back- where I can find them.”
Photography courtesy of Beth Lewandowski
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 17
October 2015 stlmag.com
17
9/4/15 2:31 PM
women’s health
wellness
those living with chronic illnesses. Learn ways to gain energy and improve emotional health.
class acts
Hospitals and nonprofits offer helpful lessons at little or no charge. by sarah kloepple
Barnes-Jewish Hospital Mindfulness Meditation Practice Group (weekly, Tuesdays). Learn about meditation to ease stress and better your ability to cope. Young Women’s Breast Cancer Support Group (monthly). Share your story or listen to others’. This group helps young women with cancer and survivors support one another. Arthritis Exercise Class Support Group (weekly, Mondays and Tuesdays). Offered by the Arthritis Foundation.
18
COCA Yoga (weekly, Mondays or Wednesdays). Improve your mind, breathing, and body awareness with traditional poses. OASIS Better Choices, Better Health (October 5– November 16). Manage the challenges posed by diabetes in this weekly workshop. Living a Healthy Life (October 6–November 17). This discussion group and workshop can help
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 18
Siteman Cancer Center Survivorship Exercise Group (weekly, Thursdays). Siteman’s Young Women’s Breast Cancer Program partners with The Heights community center for this weekly exercise program. Gentle Yoga (weekly, Tuesdays). People of any level of performance or physical condition are welcome. Look Good…Feel Better (weekly, Mondays). Get beauty tips from licensed cosmetologists to help you cope with the side effects of cancer treatment. CONQUER (first Tuesday of each month). This support group is open to adults with any type of cancer. St. Luke’s Hospital: Spirit of Women Breastfeeding Class (October 3 and 6, November 3 and 7). Learn the basics and get encouragement and support. WomenHeart Support Group (October 7, November 4). This free support group is for women who are at risk for heart disease. Grandparents Class (October 8). Expectant grandparents can learn infant safety informa-
tion and ways to be helpful when the little one arrives. An Infant Care Class (October 10, 17, and 24, November 14 and 21). Learn about bathing, dressing, car and home safety, and newborn illnesses. Mommies in Motion (Starting October 13). Stretch and strengthen your pregnant body in this eight-week course. Cholesterol and Glucose Wellness Screenings (October 15, 23, November 12). In a oneon-one consultation, learn your cholesterol and glucose numbers from a HeartCaring professional. Childbirth Preparation Class (October 27 and 28, November 2). This class provides information on the childbirth experience. I Have Hip Pain. What Are My Options? (October 29, November 19). If you’re experiencing hip pain, get free answers to your questions from an orthopedist. Bone Builders Lecture (November 18). Listen to a pharmacist, a physical therapist, and a dietitian talk about ways to prevent osteoporosis. Bootcamp-Style Fitness Classes (Powerflex III, Tuesdays; Bootcamp III, Thursdays). Exercise classes meet weekly. Go for high or low intensity for conditioning or strengthening.
Illustration by Sol Linero
9/4/15 2:31 PM
Cardiopulmonary and Bone Builders Yoga Class (mat yoga, Tuesdays and Fridays; chair yoga, Wednesdays and Thursdays). Stretch and strengthen with these yoga classes. Yoga for Cancer Patients (weekly, Wednesdays). Cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers can restore their strength with gentle yoga. Mercy Hospital– St. Louis Breastfeeding Basics: A Successful Start (October 2, 8, 16, and 27, November 3, 6, and 16). This class gives expectant and new moms the basics of breastfeeding. Labor & Birth, Newborn Care, Breastfeeding Package (October 5– November 9, October 15–November 19). Get all of your essential pregnancy and childcare information in one course. Move It Baby! Prenatal Yoga (October 6–November 10, October 13–November 17, October 15–November 19, October 25–November 29). This class helps expectant mothers feel comfortable and strong. Hello Baby! Newborn Care Basics (October 11, 17, and 25, November 7, 8, 15, 21, and 29). Learn vital tips to keep your new little one happy and healthy. Healthy Pregnancy Class (October 11 and 25, November
1 and 15). Get vital tips for a safe and comfortable pregnancy.
immunizations, feeding, nutrition, bathing, and signs of illness.
Missouri Baptist Medical Center Free From Falls (October 5). Test your mobility and balance, learn ways to prevent falls, and find out about the resources available if you are at risk. Mobile Mammography Van Service (October 7, 24, November 21). Get a quick, easy, and convenient screening. Cholesterol and Glucose Screening (October 7, 21, November 4, 11). Get a free screening of your glucose and cholesterol levels at your local Dierbergs. Avoiding the “Flu Blues” (October 13, 15, 17, 19). Free flu shots for the first 1,200 attendees. Annual Update: What’s New with the Treatment of Multiple Sclerosis? (October 29). Hear the latest updates on the treatment of MS and how to ease symptoms. A Q&A session will follow the presentation.
St. Anthony’s Medical Center Helmet Fittings (October 6). Staff members from the emergency department conduct free bicycle helmet fittings for adults and children. HeartSaver AED CPR Class (October 7). Earn a two-year certification from the American Heart Association to help those experiencing breathing or cardiac emergencies. Parenting Your Teenager (October 12–November 16). Learn how to talk to your adolescent. Surgical Weight Loss Educational Seminar (October 24, 28). A surgeon discusses options for modifying the stomach. Anger Management Classes (October 29–December 10). This six-week session provides information on lessening aggression and facilitating conflict resolution. AARP Driver Safety Class (November 6). Drivers over 50 may participate in this refresher course and learn how to adjust to changes in perception and reaction. Baby Fair (November 14). Get information on prenatal care, nutrition, lactation, and more from vendor booths at
SSM St. Mary’s Hospital SHARE Support Group (Monthly, second Thursday). Women who have experienced miscarriage are encouraged to seek support. Infant Care Class (October 6, 17, November 5). Topics include
St. Anthony’s Family Birth Center. St. Joseph Health Center West Stroke Education Forum (October 15, November 19). Stroke survivors and caregivers can learn important information for recovery and get emotional support along the way. St. Louis Children’s Hospital Family and Friends CPR (November 7). Watch an informative video and get hands-on practice in infant, child, and adult CPR. Women In Charge Yoga (weekly). A certified instructor leads a class to reduce stress, re-energize, and foster strength and flexibility. Nutrition/Cooking (no time listed). Learn how to eat healthily on a tight budget—and get some handy recipes. YWCA Health: Mental, Public and Gun Violence (October 21). A panel of healthcare professionals discusses mental health and the prevalence of gun violence. Hueism/Colorism: Light and Dark Hues of Humanity, the Experiences of All Shades (November 18). Listen to personal human experiences.
October 2015 stlmag.com
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 19
19
9/4/15 2:31 PM
women’s health
uncommon knowledge
calm wisdom It takes time to heal—and not even patients have much patience anymore. Sister Mary Roch Rocklage bounced into the Religious Sisters of Mercy at age 19 with a breezy warning: “I’m only here to try it.” That was in 1954. Rocklage stayed, became a nurse, earned a master’s in healthcare, and rose to become the administrator of St. John’s Mercy Hospital. Along the way, she always reminded young nurses—both male and female—that the word “nurse” came from nursing at the breast, an act that “gave life, gave comfort, gave strength. You are safe and wholly accepted in the arms of a nurse.” “Today, we are very much focused on procedures,” she remarks. “That’s all very necessary. But it’s the handson nursing, getting in there and getting messy, spending time, that treats the whole person.” And time’s become a precious commodity—for nurses and patients alike. “Be very honest and very clear with every caregiver,” Rocklage urges. “If they ask, ‘How do you feel?’ say how you feel, so you are not bottling it up. And write down your fears; then they are outside you. Share them with someone
20
stlmag.com October 2015
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 20
who can assist you—not control you, assist you. Whoever is your God or your higher power, rest it there, because that’s from where your strength will come. And then, if whatever you were afraid of happens to you, say, ‘Yep, this is what I was afraid of. I’ve already addressed it.’” While you recuperate, take it easy—stop multitasking and turn your brain off so your body can fully relax. “The body needs to heal from the bottom up,” Rocklage says, “not just where the sutures are.” Once you’re back in the swim of things? Stay slow. “This, this, this—we tick things off. Don’t let society’s pace dictate. Be who you are.” Let someone know you, she adds: “Our whole society— the pace of it! We’re just yakking away, and yet everybody’s lonely. We are not present to each other. That’s what you remember about your mother or your best friend or your husband—that they know who you really are.” Relax. Yoga classes and other alternative practices strike Rocklage as “kind of elitist. Can’t we just sit on the floor and listen to music? We all need the discipline to take time—and it is a discipline. Be quiet, even if it’s only for five minutes a day. Take some deep breaths; let the air flow through you. Nothing fancy. You don’t have to get yourself a pad. Everything becomes something we are selling to you, rather than, ‘If I had my deepest desire, what would I do?’” —j.c.
Photography by Kevin A. Roberts
9/4/15 2:31 PM
Breast Center of Excellence
3D Mammography BreastAdvantage® Risk Assessment Diagnostic Services General Ultrasound
PAULA GEORGE, MD & KAREN GOODHOPE, MD, FACR 450 N. New Ballas Road Suite 250 North Creve Coeur 314.567.4449 MidwestBreastCareCenter.com
An affiliate of St. Luke’s Center for Diagnostic Imaging
When life changes, obligations multiply. Let us take care of you, while you take care of business. We’re Ostrica. We sort out your personal affairs for you, or your parents, so you can focus on more important things. We provide assistance with many services including: everyday finances, records maintenance, extended travel support and more. Ostrica’s here to help you take care of yourself and your family.
is what distinguishes us in the health care community. We provide each individual patient with the most up-to-date health information and we compliment our care with alternative and natural therapies including nutritional testing, supplements and Bioidentical Hormones. We focus on the quality of a women’s life and it is our commitment to each and every patient. Please call our office at 314-292-7080 for an appointment. All of our providers enjoy the opportunity to educate women about women’s health.
OstricaProtects.com 314 241 0298 618 980 0298
456 North New Ballas Road | Suite 386 Creve Coeur 63141 314-292-7080 | www.whs-stl.com Monday ~ Thursday ~ Friday: 9 to 5 Tuesday ~ Wednesday 9 to 6
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 21
same-day appointments available.
9/4/15 2:31 PM
WomensHealth_1015_.indd 22
9/4/15 2:31 PM