JULY 2020.
THE LOCKDOWN SPECIAL
ISSUE 6 | £6.00
A L I C E & T H E M U M S
SELF CARE
STAYING ACTIVE
MENTAL HEALTH
Kayleigh Williams on looking after YOU whilst parenting
Rebecca Richards shares ideas on keeping fit during lockdown
With cuts and easing of services, how can we ensure our mental health is in check?
04
Editor's Notes
06
Pandemic Parenting
08
Staying Active
12
Top 4 Self Care Tips
15
Lockdown Highs & Lows
20
Mental Health in a Pandemic
22
Top 5 Go-To Activities
25
Keyworker Parenting
27
It's Okay
30
Expectation VS Reality
34
Editor's Review: The Disco Room
35
Meet the Cover Star
EDITOR'S NOTES EDITOR: ALICE KING PRINTED BY MIXAM SUB EDITED BY HELEN MARSHALL & SHILA MODY
For the last 3 months now, we have been living under lockdown due to the current global pandemic.
have been true little heroes. This issue focuses on how we
Lockdown appears to be drawing to a close, but as it does, let's not
survived the lockdown- the
forget the resilience and bad-
activities we did and how we
assery we continued to use
ready for this, but we've handled it
looked after ourselves. Our anxiety
throughout this period, and how
pretty. damn. well. These
is high, some of us have had to
it's helped us stand even stronger.
exceptional circumstances have
work from home, some of us have
left our little ones away from their
still had to go to work, some of us
important to me with this being the
aunties, uncles and grandparents,
have had to shield, some of us have
first paid issue. I cannot express to
and missing each other too. They
actually had and survived this
you how much your pruchase
awful virus.
means to me.Â
I don't think any of us were
ALICE & THE MUMS | 4
Your support is especially
LOCKDOWN STORIES
PANDEMIC PARENTING Written by Shila Mody Magazine Sub Editor
ALICE & THE MUMS | 6
When it comes to parenting, you can go to all the antenatal classes, read all the books and do all your research, but as many of you have already heard, there’s really nothing that fully prepares you for parenthood. The only thing that rings true is to expect the unexpected. That being said, I never would have thought in a million years that I’d be experiencing parenting in unprecedented times like this. We’re all going through the unknown together. Sadly, there’s no guidebook to parenting during the covid19 pandemic. Even the most seasoned parents don’t know how to give us advice as they haven’t been in this situation before. It’s ok to admit that we’re all just winging it and hoping for the best. A bit like the early days of being a first-time parent. Our children are used to going to school/nursery, seeing friends and family and maybe even going to parent-child classes. If like me, you have a very active toddler who’s used to
"AS MUMS, WE ARE THE MOST CRITICAL AND UNFORGIVING OF OURSELVES. " being out and about... then I feel your pain! I followed all the amazing mums on Instagram whose pages were full of fun activities. I, of course, had every intention of trying some of these on a quiet day, they looked so fun (maybe more for me than Noah). Unfortunately, I’ve not got round to any of them. Noah is full-on like any other toddler. I’m exhausted all the time because it feels like we don't ever have a quiet day. I experience massive ’mum guilt’ because I’m sure all these mums go through the same motions of being a tired mum, yet I just can’t get myself organised enough to do these creative activities. I soon realised everyone has their own challenges...we just don’t know what goes on behind the gram. My advice to anyone is don’t beat yourself up and do what you need to do to get through this tough time. We always preach that we should be kind to everyone but most of the time we don’t put this into practise when it comes to ourselves. I’m sure you’ll agree with me when I say that we (as mums) are the most critical and
unforgiving of ourselves. I read numerous parenting blogs and look at some of my friends and family and I have to say, thank god I’m not having to home school! If Noah was of school age I honestly don’t know what I would have done. So hats off to all of you who are in this situation (and to those of you who have always homeschooled your children). That being said, lockdown has had its benefits. My husband is working from home which means we get more quality time together as a family. Those hours that were previously lost through commuting are now being put to better use. It’s time to spend with Noah, have a later wake-up time or have an actual breakfast. It’s these types of things that have come out of lockdown that I must remember to be thankful for. Each day I see the chaos of our household, it’s also a wonderful reminder that I have my loved ones close by. It’s something I appreciate more when I know so many others haven’t been lucky during the pandemic.
ALICE & THE MUMS | 7
LOCKDOWN FITNESS
WRITTEN REBECCA RICHARDS NEWSLETTER SUB EDITOR So this furlough scheme, it provides us with 80% of our salaries and the opportunity to spend more time with our families? What’s the catch? Ah, LOCKDOWN! I’m Mum to 13 year old Imogen and Harlee, 2.5. We are without a doubt an active family. Then suddenly we just… weren’t. It wasn’t long (I mean, about 2 days) before I had a toddler literally pressing her nose up at the front window looking longingly at the few people who were outside and every time we opened the door she would exclaim “oh wow! Amazing!” like a wild animal being released from captivity. We weren’t short of ideas to keep busy what with online school for Imogen plus various home crafts, and the occasional Zoom call with @theprincess_emporium (which have been as magical as you would expect and kept Harlee enthralled throughout) but with the initial guidelines allowing us outside to exercise just once per day, to keep physically active we had to get creative! We have a running buggy but that meant whilst Imogen and I were getting out and moving, poor Harlee was still sitting and despite how much she loves being my “front seat driver” the same went for our bikes. My first port of call was @supermummafitness; mother and baby classes that Harlee and I had attended for the entirety of my maternity leave. The low-impact, high intensity and adaptability of the exercises together with an absolute gem of a trainer, had helped me get safely back into exercise after a very traumatic labour and subsequent emergency C-Section. Lianne, like many other personal trainers, was now running her classes via Zoom. I quickly learned that squatting whilst holding a baby (as I’d
done 2 years ago) was a LOT easier than squatting with a toddler- but now I get the benefit of enjoying them with both of my girls, even if they are much fitter and more flexible than I will ever be! Also offering virtual classes is @georgiasdanceacademy. She teaches a variety of ages including one suitable for pre-schoolers. It’s surprising how much of a sweat you can work up doing the Hokey Cokey and Superman! The great thing about these is despite having the attention span of a dazed goldfish, Harlee isn’t disrupting anyone else. I simply let her pop in and out as she pleases and she has great fun!
"IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE I HAD A TODDLER PRESSING HER NOSE UP AT THE WINDOW LOOKING LONGINGLY OUTSIDE..." My netball team @maldonwalkingnetball and I have been sharing tips on ball-related activities and challenges set by the @EnglandNetball squad which we have been able to do as a family. Throwing and catching is something for all ages after all. Whilst we aren’t able to train together, @withamrunningclub have been especially brilliant at organising virtual events during lockdown. These have been really varied in distance and most have included some other task during the run which I have personally
ALICE & THE MUMS | 9
enjoyed as a way to include mainly Imogen but for some of them, Harlee as well. (The pub runs have been a little dry, but that can’t be helped!) Whether we are out running, cycling, scooting or walking, the girls and I have had fun taking photos of street signs to spell out words and phrases. In addition to the exercise, we found lots of little roads and paths we never knew existed before and gained a little more awareness when it comes to our surroundings. Gardening together has been a lovely addition to our activity schedule and Harlee loves going out to water the plants every day. It’s hard work lugging soil, pots and plants around and our garden has actually never looked prettier! We have enjoyed a couple of treasure hunts courtesy of a local group on Strava and @secretlondonruns, we took Harlee for her first experience of crazy golf once @piratesbaymaldon reopened with very
ALICE & THE MUMS | 10
strict new precautions and we found a lovely quiet area in South Weald Country Park to take turns flying a kite. I have to say it was one of my favourite days and one of those things that shows me it doesn’t matter the age gap. Children are children (even if we’re 35!) As the rules of lockdown loosen their grip slightly and more things have become accessible, we have found that there are more options, but also more people. We started taking evening walks to stay safe and would go on bear hunts, search the woods for the Snipe and play Pooh sticks. Sometimes it’s the simple things in life, and if I can take away one thing from our experience during this pandemic, I hope it’s this. Stripped of our luxuries like gyms and play centres, team sports and group activities, there really is a lot of fun to be had in going back to basics. Good old fashioned fun never goes out of style and I feel closer to my girls than ever.
Top 4 Self-Care Tips for Mums By Kayleigh Williams
One of the many things I advise new mums to do is to practise your self-care. Whilst it's amazing looking after this new life you have created, it's also highly important to look after yourself too.
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Lockdown has proven to be difficult for a lot of
feel relaxed and calm. You don't always have to go
mums, the constant attachment and the never-
to the spafor self-care, doing it at home can be just
ending tantrums and tears. I won't lie to you I am
as lovely. It may not seem like much but it's a really
very guilty of letting myself go because my mind is
good way of relaxing and winding down. When
so focused on looking after Harry, or getting the
things get a bit too much I always run a bath,
housework done. All it takes is for at least one day of the week to take time out for you, because it's so beneficial to your mental and physical health. I used to be really on top of my self-care, I would have pamper evenings almost every other night, keeping my skin in tip-top shape; however, since having Harry I will admit that sometimes I do lose control and forget to look after number one. There are so many different types of self-care advice out there, some are targeted at specific things like your skin, your hair or even your hands, but I think self-care should be about everything; it says it in the title really: "self." Set yourself one evening of the week to make a real pamper evening. This
because it relaxes your muscles and makes you feel less tense. Create a daily routine. One of the things that really helps my anxiety is keeping on routine. This doesn't have to be strict, but I always set days of washing my hair, so I can take my time giving it all the proper treatments it needs then I'm not rushing and leaving it to dry in a bun for a few days. Doing this will enable you to take time with whatever it is you need to do. I always set an hour each morning and night to do a proper skincare routine so that my skin is taken care of and not being neglected. Get your sleep in, you'll thank me
can be so easy, grab yourself some tea
later. It's very easy to feel sluggish
lights and run a nice warm bubble
if you've only had 3 hours sleep. I
bath. This will create a calm and cosy
always take my phone off me one
environment and will enable you to
hour before bed so that the blue light isn't keeping me awake and
ALICE & THE MUMS | 13
I'm not tempted to drive my mind into overdrive by
a walk is a good way of getting your
scrolling through Instagram and wishing I owned
exercise in.
that dress that woman had on. Sleep is key, its good
There are so many ways to do self-care. I know
for your skin, your body andyour mind. When I get
for sure I haven't touched up on them all, but these
a good night's sleep I know about it because I feel
are the ones that help me. I know being a mum is
fresh and motivated, ready for the day. If I get no
incredibly hard, but you have to look out for
sleep then I feel sluggish, down and
yourself too. There are amazing books to help you
unmotivated. Being a mum and sleep
if you're wanting something to focus on, I'm
deprived is so common.
obsessed with the Ferne Cotton books, they're
Doing some daily exercise is sure to
amazing.
help you feel good about yourself. It gets your blood pumping and it makes you feel happy. Even going for
ALICE & THE MUMS | 14
Keep strong, keep happy and keep taking care of yourself! Kay x
HOMESCHOOLING, MISSING LOVED ONES AND SIBLING BONDING
THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF LOCKDOWN
WRITTEN BY STEPHANIE COOKE Lockdown. The day our lives changed
and safe. I certainly was not equipped to
forever. Dramatic? I don’t think so...
have a sudden and fast paced threat to
I remember loosely following the story of a mystery virus sweeping
mine and my family’s life. Once the virus reached Europe the
through China. It seemed awful and
news was on constantly, checking my
shocking, but I was so ignorantly
phone for any updates from the schools,
removed that it doesn’t seem like real
and generally just panicking. All of a
life. It’s just something we see on the
sudden the world seemed like an unseen
telly.
enemy. With social media going crazy it
In my 30 years there has been some
was hard to know what to think or
tough times but I’ve not lived in a war
believe. I spent 2 day’s hovering near the
zone, or dealt with extreme weather,
bathroom. The level of anxiety played
bush fires or homelessness. My life has been consistent
ALICE & THE MUMS | 16
havoc on my IBS. My mood swings
others my concerns seemed so petty. Here
intolerable.
I am, with a home, an income and the
Apart from the fierce instinct to keep
opportunity to keep my children healthy in
my family safe, I was overcome with self
my protection. Homeschooling still is
doubt. The youngest was only 3 months
daunting, and it is draining occupying and
old. Days when the older children were at
fulfilling 3 children without a break or
school/ nursery was my time to bond with
external support. I find it heartbreaking
the baby, binge watch tv and eat crap. The
that instead of letting the children
thought of losing that (selfishly?) was
embrace the world and all it’s people, we
gutting.
have to view it with caution and fear. Will
I also mourned the loss of coffee dates
this have a lasting emotional impact on
with friends and the baby groups. I’d only
our young ones? Or just become a strange
just got to the point of venturing out and
distant memory?
getting to know other mums and now it
Being in a pandemic really highlights
was gone. How would I cope with the
the fragility of life. So many have had to
loneliness? Would the children’s
say goodbye to loved ones either through
development be lacking without sensory
isolation or bereavement, it’s awful. As
classes?
lockdown started my mum had to have a
And yet, compared to the experiences of
biopsy on a lump to see if it was cancerous.
"BEING IN A PANDEMIC REALLY HIGHLIGHTS THE FRAGILITY OF LIFE."
ALICE & THE MUMS | 17
"FROM WITHIN THE STORM OF UNCERTAINTY, STRESS AND LOSS THERE HAS BEEN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH, REFLECTION AND APPRECIATION." Usually I’d been pragmatic about it, but
in someone else’s care. I’m not ready to
with the timing it really upset me. Would
return to a job that would have changed
her appointments be delayed? Would she
so much and seems so threatening. I’m not
be at risk going into hospitals? And if the
ready to return to normal. In fact, I hope
worse was to happen, it broke me thinking
normal never comes. Through this bizarre
she’d be alone with it. I live 3 hours away,
time we’ve learned gratitude and humility.
with the travel restrictions and social
We’ve been reminded in the simple
distancing, I just wouldn’t be any practical
pleasures such as slowing down to have
help. Thankfully the lump was benign and
home cooked meals together. There is a
all is well but it’s had a lasting impact. I
new value to family and friendships.
miss Norfolk, my family and childhood
Society has learned to say thank you to
friends but not visiting is a temporary loss
those who make a daily difference. I can’t
that will save lives.
put into the words the level of admiration
The days and weeks, for us, have flown
I have for key workers. Even more so
by. There has been endless screaming,
having my own family member currently
crying and cross words, but more
being cared for after becoming ill with
significantly the siblings have bonded so
COVID 19.
closely, we have created and crafted, we
From within the storm of uncertainty,
have danced and laughed. We were just
stress and loss there has been opportunity
finding our new rhythm. Enjoying our new
for growth, reflection and appreciation.
pace and then Boris Johnson announces
Although I still carry the knot of worry, the
restrictions are lifting.
changes has brought more positives than
The anxiety felt at the start of this
negatives for us as a family. I doubt life
comes flooding back. Suddenly I’m back
will ever be the same, but would that be
out of control. All the self doubt I had
so bad?
about my parenting ability was slowly
In summary, I was That Mum. The mum
turning into confidence and now, the
that screamed. The mum that cried. The
government is asking me to trust society
mum that paced the kitchen. The sit down
with our health, to make those tentative
and watch tv all day mum. The messy play
steps back to normality.
mum. The teacher mum. The Amazon
Now, I’m not unrealistic. We will have
Prime mum. The crafting mum. The
to go back to school, my maternity leave
exhausted mum. The mum that loved
will end and I’ll be returning to my role in
relentlessly. Whichever mum you are, I am
the NHS and life will continue. But I’m not
you and we’ll journey together through
ready. I’m not ready to entrust my children
this next phase with solidarity.
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A L I C E & T H E M U M S S U B S C R I B E T O O U R : " W H A T ' S N E W , A L I C E ? " N E W S L E T T E R N O W
F E A T U R I N G : Motivational stories about some of the fierciest women in the world Positive news stories Thought of the month Top picks from the entertainment world: fashion, film, TV, literature Magazine updates Women run businesses we love
W W W . A L I C E A N D T H E M U M S . C O M
@ A L I C E A N D T H E M U M S M A G
MENTAL HEALTH
Mental Health Help in a Pandemic BY CHARLOTTE SHARMAN During lockdown there has been an emphasis on the importance of not only physical wellbeing, but also mental health. Everyone has their own battle to fight, however my mental health during lockdown has been a difficult balance. I entered lockdown with a three-week-old new born, my beautiful second born daughter, Matilda. I was already on antidepressants and under my regional perinatal mental health team. As a mother that struggled with post-natal depression with my first daughter, Lydia, I was under mental health teams from the start of my second pregnancy and throughout lockdown. Unfortunately, my mental health deteriorated when I was around 6 months pregnant and I was signed off work until my maternity leave began. I was prescribed antidepressants, and having experienced postnatal depression before, I knew the signs that I wasn’t well. With my first baby I struggled to bond with her and feel like I’d missed her first year of life as a prisoner in my own mind. I was determined to not let that happen with my second daughter, but with that comes feeling of guilt. I’d look at my first born and feel that she'd missed out on the mother I was
ALICE & THE MUMS | 20
capable of being with the right help. My amazing team assured me that guilt is
to those around me when I wasn’t feeling well. Maternal mental health can be a taboo,
a good thing, it means I acknowledge that I
and some women may be innocent victims
need help and am capable of being well and
that need help and are unable to access it
looking after my new arrival. Plans were put
due to lockdown.
into place to support me after Matilda’s
There is no shame in feeling that you can’t
birth, I’d have a care plan and a consultant
take anymore home schooling, any more
psychiatrist to oversee my mental health.
days in the house with your fussy baby or
However, when the country went into
that your mental health just isn’t quite right.
lockdown, all those plans came to a halt. I
There are services and people out there who
could no longer have meetings face to face,
will listen and are willing to help, no one
my community psychiatric nurse could not
should suffer in silence. Mothers are strong,
see me regularly and I was made to manage
but we can’t always do it alone.
on medication alone. Feelings started to creep back in that I was on my own, just like the first time, and it was all very overwhelming. The tools and resources my team had given me to cope were ripped away, such as attending baby groups and one to one support when I needed it. Not only that, but my anxiety was through the roof and I was petrified of my family catching Covid-19, or not being able to get food for them. Eventually I had a telephone consultation and my medication was increased, which helped a lot, and my consultant assured me that what I was feeling was completely normal, especially during a global pandemic. Lockdown has been a rollercoaster of emotions, as it has for many of us. I am thankful that I have an amazing husband, he encouraged me to get outside and not to be so hard on myself. I have had to challenge my own behaviour, try my best to keep my mental health in check and reassure myself that its okay not to be okay. Lockdown has certainly made me evaluate the importance of a healthy mind, and I know I couldn’t have survived without feeling the courage to talk
ALICE & THE MUMS | 21
Five 'Go-To' Activities to Keep the Little Ones Busy Written by Gemma McCorkell
When we first entered lockdown all the mums were frantically panicking buying not only pasta and loo roll but arts and craft supplies too. I tried to think of activities that we could do using things we already had around the house and I am now quite confident that I have a little assortment of activities I am able to quickly set up on a rainy day. I put so much pressure on myself at the beginning of isolation to think of something new for my daughter every single day, mainly because I felt horribly guilty (mum guilt always there) that she was missing out on so much due to the pandemic. However I have since learnt that she actually quite likes repeating activities now and again so here are some of our favourites that will always engage my daughters attention:
Monster Toast Food activities are always a win in my house. We affectionately named this one 'Monster Toast' as at the start of lockdown. I only had green food colouring (now I use food colouring almost as much as hand sanitiser!) You make edible paints using a tablespoon of milk and a drop of food colouring, you paint your bread however you want before toasting and eating it. You do have to toast it after painting as the bread can get a bit soggy. I like to set this one up quickly in the morning as a breakfast activity.
Sink Play Messy play is one of our favourites, the messier the better. But sink play is taking it up a level. Kids are desperate to do things around the house they aren't usually allowed to do so playing with a sink is surprisingly exciting for them.
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There are so many ideas you can use to set up sink play but an easy one is an Antarctic themed sink with shaving foam snow, little pots with blue and purple food colouring and any related animals you can find. Mixing the coloured water with the foam and turning the taps on and off filling up the jugs usually holds their attention for quite a while and then you are able to straight away transition into pretend play using the animals. We could easy spend a couple of hours around a messy sink, definitely worth the clean up after.
Nail Painting Another one they aren't usually allowed to do... play with your nail varnishes! Draw around your hands and let them use old nail varnishes to paint the nails. Use diamond stickers for jewellery and stamps or pens for tattoos... really the options are endless. You can even give them a hand you've already completed to copy the design, although my daughter usually likes to freestyle.
Biscuit Decorating I know this is so obvious but it is a fail proof rainy day activity. We start by making the biscuits, mainly because this takes up some extra time. Just some simple vanilla cookies are my go to. Then I set up
ALICE & THE MUMS | 23
a tray of different colour icing (I buy premade
and liquid and it’s so so satisfying. We use this for
buttercream icing and change the colours with my
two main games, animals stuck in the mud. So any
trusted food cololuring) sprinkles, paper flowers,
plastic animals can get stuck in the mud and we
chocolates etc. and we hold biscuit making
rescue them. Or alternatively we really enjoy
competitions. We also use pre rolled icing and
making it up in lots of different colours and then
icing pens to decorate cookies as we can practice
mixing them together. It’s hard to show just how
writing our name on those and drawing pictures. A
amazing this stuff is with a photo, but it really is
lovely relaxing activity to enjoy with a cup of tea!
such a fun messy play sensory experience. Just use one cup of cornflour to half a cup of water, give it
Oobleck This is basically a much cooler and
a stir and let the magic happen. I hope you give these activities a go, and let me know how you get on by sharing your
much more addictive version of slime.
experiences on Instagram and tagging
It consists of cornflour and water
@aliceandthemumsmag and @gemma_mccorkell.
(food colouring optional) it’s both solid
ALICE & THE MUMS | 24
What activities are your 'go-tos'?
K E Y W O R K E R
M U M
TEACHING THROUGH LOCKDOWN
B Y
A L I C E
K I N G
E D I T O R
The day the lockdown was announced, it felt like the world just stood still and stopped spinning. Rob, Ted and I had all already been in isolation for a week, as Ted had been showing symptoms of the virus. The thought of having to stay inside for two weeks was incredibly daunting, but when the day of the lockdown announcement came, we realised how dangerous this virus was and how difficult the next few months, maybe year would be. ALICE & THE MUMS | 26
We both work as teachers in a college, and the vital care, more than the education we provide, was going to be needed throughout this difficult period. The balance of Ted, work and editing a magazine all from home was at times impossible. It was a constant battle to find a new balance. For some people, working from home was the best of this bad situation. For some people it meant flexibility. We didn't have that. We had meetings, lessons to deliver, and I had 40 classes of students to provide resources for still, all while entertaining an energetic toddler. To his credit, Ted did incredibly well with it all, especially when he is so used to being out and around other little ones all day. Our nursery decided to close, even to keyworkers, which meant there was no relief from the struggles at all. I enjoyed having my boy beside me, but I actually envied those on furlough at some points, as I longed to give him my full undivided attention. It is what he deserved, but it's not what I could give him. But I did it. I struggled, I juggled, and he remained a happy boy with a new sense of independence (with far too much iPad time and tele thrown into the mix too.) This has been a trying time, but one of reflection and I hope a new way of life, I've enjoyed the extra time with my family, but I'm ready for the touches of normality that have felt like they were fading away; coffee with friends, shopping for hours, eating brunch out with my family. Yet there are things I really don't want to lose, like going for walks, just because we can, or having time out and away from people completely unapologetically and just for us, to be us. to be a three. Despite the awful consequences of this whole situation, and my heart really does go out to those who have lost loved ones and who have lost jobs, there have been some positives and truly wonderful moments we have shared as a family, and I'm so grateful I get to walk away from this with those memories.
IT'S OKAY WRITTEN BY HELEN MARSHALL MAGAZINE SUB EDITOR
Lockdown has been tough on everyone; we all know how hard keyworkers have been working to help this country keep moving and the NHS have been keeping as many people as possible alive. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like working on a COVID ward, I really can’t.
However, if you’ve been feeling guilty for feeling down or sad, when you feel like you don’t have a ‘reason’ to be, I’m here to tell you that your reason is valid and it’s ok. It’s ok to want to cry at everything you see on the television, because the world is making your heart hurt. It’s ok to need to scream into a pillow, because your child, whatever their age, has pushed you to your limits and you have no other outlet. It’s ok if you’ve put on weight, because you’ve been comfort eating. If you come out of this pandemic a few pounds heavier, you’re lucky, you made it through it. It’s also ok if you’ve lost weight; if you’re stressed out, if you’re anxious, if you’re worried. It can be natural. IF you’ve taken on loads of new hobbies to distract you, it’s ok. Don’t burn out, do what you need to. IF you’ve done absolutely nothing productive , it’s ok. You don’t need to become a knitter, baker or candlestick maker just because you can’t leave the house. If all you have done is Netflix and actual chill, it’s ok. It’s ok to wish you weren’t a parent sometimes; to wish you could use your free time to be free and not be wiping bums, floors and mouths (not necessarily in that order!) It’s ok to miss work. I’ve been furloughed, and I’m grateful for the extra time with my girl, but I also miss going to work and being ‘work’ me and not ‘mum’ me. It’s ok to have a spotlessly clean house, because it’s the only thing keeping you sane. It’s also ok if your house looks like it’s been attacked by a band of Vikings, because you just can’t be bothered. I’ve found being at home and not being
ALICE & THE MUMS | 28
able to go out terribly difficult, my mental health has really struggled. I’ve missed the
wonderful feeling. I’ve spent more real quality time with my
outside world and this is coming from someone
husband; yes, we have driven each other insane,
who was described as anti-social in 2 out of the
but we’ve also helped each other so much
3 speeches at her wedding. I miss being able to
through this when we’ve not been able to lean
see my friends, I miss being able to pop to my
on parents for the support that we may usually
parents when the weather is rubbish for a
take for granted.
change of scenery. I’ve missed out on a friend’s hen do abroad,
We’ve made promises to make sure we don’t waste as many days in the future and we
which would have seen me leave the little one
thoroughly are enjoying our slow family
for 3 nights. I was terrified to leave her and very
mornings, that include waffles for breakfast. I’m
hesitant, but to have it taken out of my control
a natural pessimist, so for me to find some
made me miss it even more. I know friends who
happiness in this mess of a situation, I’m here to
have had to rearrange weddings and
tell you that you can too.
honeymoons, I can’t imagine how rubbish that must have felt. It’s ok to feel sad to have missed out on these
We’re living in unprecedented times, we’re living through history, we’re living. However you’re getting through this, it’s ok.
things. You don’t have to feel grateful that this is all you’ve experienced; all your feelings are valid. Yes, there have been some brilliant things to come out of lockdown: spending extra time with your babies with no pressure for anything else is something we’re rarely blessed with. My husband and I both got to see my daughter take her first steps; we’ve seen her grow and develop so much and it’s a ALICE & THE MUMS | 29
LOCKDOWN EXPECTATION VS. REALITY
Written by Holly Bishop Newsletter Sub Editor
Lockdown – two months in your house; relaxing, reading, catching up on all those jobs around the house that you never got round to doing. HA! This is a dream world if you are experiencing lockdown with children. How about groundhog day with tiny humans that demand snacks every 30 minutes- that’s more like it. At the start of this journey I thought the first scenario would be me. ‘I’m really going to make the most of this time with my family and soak up every minute’ is what I said to my husband. Fast forward 16 weeks and I’m sitting in my pyjamas putting another episode of paw patrol on waiting for my husband to get home from work – it’s 09:30 am. My children are 4 and 16 months, and we also have had a little lockdown surprise. Yes that’s right, we will be adding to the baby boom in December that everyone’s been talking about! So lockdown for me so far has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, with the added stress of being in the vulnerable group for my asthma, as well as now being 16 weeks pregnant. Parenting amid this crazy crisis has been somewhat surreal. How do you explain to a three year old that there is a deadly virus circulating and that’s why she can’t go to pre - school or spend Sunday afternoons diving into ball pits at soft - play. Our saving grace has been our garden. We invested in a swing set at the start of lockdown, which the girls have been on every day without fail. My husband is also a gardener and has provided us with little projects to keep us busy, like making our own hanging baskets!
ALICE & THE MUMS | 31
Of course there has been baking (banana
the mum guilt is HUGE. I’m sure anyone else in
bread obviously), colouring and lots of TV and
my situation feels the same, but it’s easy to feel
tablet time – I’m not even sorry! Another great
alone in all of this. You’ve probably all had
discovery I found was the website ‘reading
people say to you ‘be thankful that you’re safe’,
eggs’. If you have a pre-school aged child this
and whilst these words come from a place of
is a great way to introduce phonics, whist still
good meaning, it does nothing but add to the
having fun!
gloom that you’re already feeling. Just
The most challenging thing for me has been
remember, we’re all muddling our way through
my oldest daughter’s outbursts. She is so angry
this weird world one day at a time. Do what
and sad and I know that she really doesn’t
you need to do – drink that cocktail, zoom your
understand why she can’t do what she wants to
friends, order a takeaway. Just remember this
do. I am filled with sadness for her every day
time next year it will all be a distant memory.
and
ALICE & THE MUMS | 32
EDITOR'S REVIEWS: THE DISCO ROOM If you're anything like me, you'll spend hours scrolling through online print stores, trying to freshen up your space, and especailly in the midst of a lockdown where we all seem to be doing all we can to re-decorate while we have the time to! I stumbled across 'The Disco Room' on Instagram and immediately fell in love with the motherhood prints. When I'm searching for a print, I always want something that feels personal, and the 'coffee, calpol and
rock 'n roll' print was the one that really caught my eye and is definitely a bit of me. The print came incredibly quickly, was incredibly good value for the quality and design, and I'm already looking at what one I can get next. The disco theme is unique compared to other print stores, and I'd say every woman loves a bit of sparkle and jazziness. There are also cards available to give to any expectant parents. Next on my list is the 5AM club print and i seem to be a permanent member of that group! I love that these prints are relatable, honest and a perfect gift for any new parent.
Dawn Vincent FOUNDER THE
FREE UK DELIVERY
10% OFF WITH CODE DISCO
&
CREATOR
DISCO
AT
ROOM
"The idea for The Disco Room was born after I had my second son, and craved a bit of sparkle in a world of cars, play fights and football (I live with my two little boys and my husband). I've always been a fan of cool, eye-catching slogan prints and decided to combine this with my love of glitter and neon in the form of wall art, prints and cards. I have a whole range of designs inspired by my own motherhood experiences - from my coffee, calpol and rock n roll cards (I live for caffeine these days), through to my tiny and mighty print which was inspired by my youngest son Noah, who was born 12 weeks early! " The start of the lockdown really gave Dawn the opportunity to start her business venture after wanting to start for a while. She recently celebrated her first 50 sales!
Pricing: 4x6 inch prints £5.50 8x10 inch prints £7.50 Cards £3 Shop the range at: www.etsy.com/shop/thediscoroom
Meet our Cover Star AND MUMMY JENNA WRIGHT! Meet Jenna Age: 20 Job: Stay at home mumma with a beauty business on the side! Child's Name: Logan-Saint Child's Age: 2
What's your favourite thing about being a mum? The cuddles, kisses and watching his little personality grow, he has learnt so many new things and it makes me super proud!
What about the worst thing? How quickly they grow! Logan-Saint was 6
ALICE & THE MUMS | 34
weeks early, however the last 2 years have flown by.
How would you describe your parenting style? What sort of mum are you? I would say I’m an overprotective mum, I let him get mucky and do all the boy things a child should be doing! He amazes me with how much of a tough little boy he is and I think I need to stop being so protective when he trips or falls and it’s only a tiny scratch haha!
How would you describe your little one?
Adventurous. Cheeky. Loving. Smart. Savage!
What's your favourite thing your little one does? Tells me he loves me. Kisses me every 5 minutes!
How would you describe your labour? Very quick. Logan-Saint was 6 weeks early so labour itself was a very big shock for us all, however, he was born within 2 pushes. My labour was 2 hours from start to finish.
Follow Jenna's business at @beauty_by_ jennawirght What stage are you looking most forward to in your parenting journey? Watching Logan-Saint grow and learn even more. Carry on making amazing memories with him and have more bubbas in the future.
Jenna & Logan ALICE & THE MUMS | 35
Next Month THE WEANING ISSUE