Teenagers: Ages 13 to 19

03Parenting after Divorce This section talks about creating a parenting plan, navigating the post-divorce parental care, working on what’s best for the child and effective ways to parent rather than engage in toxic games.

What does parenting after divorce look like?

Parenting is one of the most important jobs you’ll ever have. Your children are depending on you to guide them to adulthood. You want to do what’s best for them.

Divorce is a difficult time for you and your children, but it’s only part of your story. The urgency is make this life transition manageable for your kids and the key to making this life transition manageable for you kids is to minimize the tension and conflict between you and your ex-spouse. Hostility and aggressiveness between parents can leave deep and lasting wounds on your kids.

Parenting can be difficult, even when parents live together. After separation or divorce, parenting can be more challenging. But your children’s basic needs don’t change. They still need security, stability and nurturing.

The key is to reduce conflict and withdraw your emotions about the separation from your parental responsibilities. It takes energy and commitment, and it isn’t always easy. While this booklet does not have the magic answers that will completely eliminate conflict, it does provide you with knowledge and ideas that you can try out right away to reduce the conflict and start a new life for you and your children.

What parenting plan is best suited for my family?

When you are deciding on parenting arrangements, it’s important to focus on the best interests of your children. While there is no precise definition of the “best interests of the child”, one way to think about it is to consider what parenting arrangement will best encourage your children’s development, happiness and success. This isn’t an easy question to answer, as it will depend on many factors. Every child and family is different and so it’s important to think about what will work best in your situation. Try to look at this through your child’s eyes.

Sole parenting plan:

One parent makes the major decisions about matters such as the child’s education, religion and health care. Generally, the child will live primarily with this person. In some cases, particularly where there are ongoing safety issues, it may be best for the children to have limited or supervised contact with one parent.

This type of arrangement works best when:

Where one parent is unavailable or unable to make decisions on short notice. When there is parental instability, substance abuse, child abuse, neglect, abandonment or similar situations. Can call on family and friends to support you in your parenting.