Infants and Toddlers: Birth to age 2

Preschoolers: Ages 3 to 5

At this age, your child is growing very quickly both physically and emotionally. But they may not yet understand the whole notion of separation or divorce. Children at this age see themselves as the “center” of the universe. They believe that they have control over, or are the cause of, what happens around them. Thus in fact, divorce is a particularly hard concept for them to comprehend.

Say something like:

Here are some “conversation scripts” that can be helpful when talking about divorce. Try saying something like… “Mommy and daddy aren’t going to be living together anymore. Daddy is moving out today and will live in Uncle Bill’s house. You will live here with me for one week, and with daddy the next week. We love you so much. Daddy will take care of you when you are with him, I will take care of you when you’re with me.”

What your child may be going through:

Fear of being abandoned by one or both parents, overwhelmed with nightmares Delays in development or temporary setbacks from milestones already reached Clingy, emotionally needy behaviour or withdrawal Keep their anger trapped inside and unpleasant thought or ideas to themselves (increased anger, crying, tantrums, whining) Physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches).

How to ease the transition:

Give them clear and simple explanations of what is happening. Preschoolers will need someone to talk to and a way to express their feelings. Help your child identify their feelings and reassure them that their feelings are O.K. They may respond well to age-appropriate books on the topic of Divorce Maintain consistency in their routines and caregivers (as much as possible). Reassure them that you are not leaving them verbal affection Ask teachers and caregivers to let you know if they notice changes in your child.