4 minute read
Gaining the Confidence to Seek the Heights
BY HANNAHJANE ARELLANO (IOTA NU, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIEGO)
Navigating my early 20s as a first-generation college student was an arduous journey, especially during my undergraduate years. As a transfer student from a community college, I embarked on a significant shift from a culinary arts path to a legal path without the guidance or support of someone who had trodden a similar path.
This transition was fraught with challenges that led to intense bouts of imposter syndrome and negative self-talk, which were exacerbated by the fact that my immigrant parents struggled to grasp the complexities of the college experience. I was acutely aware that forging connections and finding my place in the academic and social landscape were paramount as I embarked on my undergraduate journey.
Understanding that my time at the University of California San Diego was limited, I recognized the need to be part of something more significant than myself. Thus, I decided to navigate the recruitment process for a sorority. Although I initially hesitated, fearing I might not fit in, this decision ultimately introduced me to lifelong connections that would shape my college experience. The recruitment process revealed a welcoming community of individuals who immediately made me feel at home. During Preference Night, I had an epiphany: choosing Alpha Chi Omega would be a transformative decision.
Upon attending my first chapter meeting, I was inspired by the numerous confident and outspoken members around me. Their presence encouraged me to run for the position of vice president chapter relations and standards, even though self-doubt lingered due to my status as a new member. Negative self-talk resurfaced, fueled by concerns about my qualifications and the perception of my peers.
However, I knew that to lead effectively, I needed to embody the qualities of a leader, exuding confidence and strength. My journey to self-assured leadership paralleled my initiation into the sorority, as I grappled with what it meant to be a newly initiated member and a leader simultaneously. Fortunately, my sorority sisters offered unwavering support, reminding me of the importance of compassion and grace, both toward oneself and others.
Alpha Chi played a pivotal role in bolstering my newfound confidence. Serving as an executive member not only allowed me to be kinder to myself but also provided the space for increased empathy toward myself and those around me. This role positioned me to evolve alongside other individuals in our chapter. The bonds forged within Alpha Chi Omega served as a testament to my resilience, reminding me of the strength I had drawn upon in past endeavors, from pursuing a culinary career, to battling cancer and navigating the college application process during a pandemic. These experiences underscored the belief that anything was possible, from leading a chapter to graduating college and applying for law school.
In a world fraught with chaos, our hearts can weigh heavy, sapping our strength and resolve. There are days when our pursuit of greatness may seem as modest as the simple act of getting out of bed and brushing our teeth in the face of overwhelming challenges. Yet, we must recognize that greatness is not always defined by monumental feats; sometimes seeking the heights is merely pushing the boundaries of our capabilities, even if only by a fraction. On those days when our capacity is limited, it’s crucial to grant ourselves grace and embrace the process of healing and self-care.
Ultimately, the most profound gift we can offer ourselves is confidence in our actions and the forgiveness to accept that there will be days when seeking more feels like an insurmountable task. Each day presents an opportunity to scale new heights, each one building upon the last.
