‘The image of God is the married couple. The image of God is there with us; it is represented by this alliance between a man and a woman.’ Pope Francis
The Marriage Course currently has
over 6,000 courses running in 123 countries in 45 languages, including
Italian, Spanish, French, Russian, Arabic and Mandarin.
Over 800,000 people have attended The Marriage Course.* * 2014 figures
‘ The first setting in which faith enlightens the human city is the family. I think first and foremost of the stable union of man and woman in marriage. This union is born of their love, as a sign and presence of God’s own love.’ Pope Francis, Lumen Fidei, 52
INTRODUCTION TO THE MARRIAGE COURSE The Marriage Course was developed by Nicky and Sila Lee in 1996 at Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB), an Anglican church in Central London. It is a practical tool to enable couples to invest in and deepen their relationship. Hundreds of thousands of couples from around the world have now completed the course. Nicky and Sila have been married for over thirty-five years and have a daughter and three sons. They have spoken to thousands on the subjects of marriage, parenting and family life.
The Revd Nicky and Sila Lee with Archbishop Vincenzo Paglia, President of the Pontifical Council for the Family
‘I have seen how The Marriage Course is a beautiful ecumenical resource that helps couples invest afresh in their marriage in a real and practical way for the challenges of modern life. As they rediscover the richness of their own relationship through The Marriage Course, it brings them back to the very source of love – God – and offers the opportunity for them to be witnesses of the mystery of that love and a living example of the domestic Church, reaching out and evangelizing to other couples and families in the Parish.’ Archbishop Vincenzo Paglia, President of the Pontifical Council for the Family
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WHAT IS THE MARRIAGE COURSE? The Marriage Course offers couples the opportunity to spend seven evenings investing in their relationship in a romantic setting. All couples are welcome, whether they have been together for a short time or a long time, whether they have a strong relationship or are struggling in their marriage, and whether they are committed, regular churchgoers or far from the faith. For many attendees, the course has not only strengthened (or transformed) their marriage, but it has also led them to want to explore the Christian faith further.
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MEAL
TALK
The meal allows each couple to feel welcomed and relax together. The romantic environment in which the course takes place is an important part of the experience for guests.
The talks, which are given by Nicky and Sila on DVD, are practical in nature, covering topics such as communication, resolving conflict, the power of forgiveness, building a healthy sexual relationship and much more. While based on Christian biblical principles, the talks are accessible and relevant to couples with or without a Christian faith.
The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
DISCUSSION
Each couple’s discussions are private. There is no group work and no requirement to discuss any issues in their relationship with anyone else. It is this privacy that gives many couples the confidence to come on the course.
The seven topics are visually represented in the marriage wheel. ‘Commitment’ is placed around the rim of the wheel as this is a theme that runs throughout the whole course. ‘God’ is placed at the centre of the wheel to represent the effect on a couple that knows His love at the heart of their marriage.
The topics covered build on each other, starting with ‘Building Strong Foundations’ and finishing with ‘Love in Action’. The Famiglia Dono Grande Foundation have developed a follow-up session to The Marriage Course specifically for the Catholic context. See p.15 for further details.
COMMI T MEN T Love in action
Good sex
The art of communication
GOD The impact of family
Resolving conflict
COMMI T MEN T
COMMI T MEN T
Building strong foundations
The power of forgiveness
COMMITMENT The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
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WHAT DO GUESTS SAY?
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Pablo and Ana Suarez Guests on The Marriage Course in Mexico
Anne and Bernard Guests on The Marriage Course in France
‘We have done The Marriage Course and now use it in our Parish – it is wonderful material and we want to use it more. We feel that the values of The Marriage Course reflect those of the Catholic Church.’
‘Our relationship was in trouble. The Marriage Course allowed us to find common ground to resume dialogue and help us through the crises we were experiencing.’
The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
Henry and Stella Guests on The Marriage Course in Italy ‘The welcome in the home of the hosts, their beautiful company and their smiles, the delicious dinners and the friendships established, have been a reflection for us of the love that Jesus has for each married couple.’
Ingrid and Edison Mendez Guests on The Marriage Course in Colombia ‘We were about to get divorced… We went on Alpha and then The Marriage Course. Through this we realised we didn’t need to get divorced. And we not only rediscovered our marriage but we also rediscovered our faith. God used Alpha and The Marriage Course to change our lives and the lives of our sons, and now we have a little daughter too.’
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Paolo and Erica Guests on The Marriage Course in Italy
Benjamin Guest on The Marriage Preparation Course in Paris (atheist before the course)
‘Through the environment, the welcome, the dinner and the friendships that developed, it was evident that the Holy Spirit was present in the home of that married couple [The Marriage Course hosts], and we were welcomed with an open heart.’
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‘I can honestly say that the course had a real impact on me. I found it really accessible – I was able to express myself, speak openly, even laugh! The meeting really awakened in me a new interest in spiritual realities, even though at the moment I can’t exactly put my finger on it!’
The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
Luis and Giusy Guests on The Marriage Course in Italy ‘We came on a journey of faith. It was through The Marriage Course that we fully accepted that God was leading us in our marriage, and that forgiveness only starts to happen when we ask God to help heal us from the bitterness and resentment. We are now rebuilding our marriage and we understand now how you need to devote time to one another, to care for each other and to listen. Everything that had been a priority in our lives before – work and other commitments – has become secondary.’
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WHAT DO CATHOLIC LEADERS SAY?
Cardinal Vincent Nichols Archbishop of Westminster, England
Edmund Adamus Director for Marriage and Family Life, Archdiocese of Westminster, England
Óscar Perdiz Figueroa National Coordinator for Integral Development, John Paul II Institute, Mexico City, Mexico
‘I wish to thank Nicky and Sila Lee for their series of attractively produced and easy to use resources on marriage and parenting. In a very down-toearth manner they help families to put faith at the heart of their relationships: a “faith” that “is no refuge for the fainthearted, but something which enhances our lives” because “it makes us aware of a magnificent calling,the vocation of love”1 .’
‘Nicky and Sila Lee personify that great vision of the Christian faith, that spouses are the primary agents of evangelization. Through their pioneering work, they have successfully enabled many in search of authentic human flourishing to come to the deeper wisdom that, in order to sustain truly loving relationships, it is best achieved in and through the Spirit of Christ the Bridegroom. The Marriage Course is a significant and genuine ecumenical contributor to a new culture of encounter called for by Pope Francis, which lies at the heart of the new evangelization.’
‘The family is a community of love and solidarity and is foundational for society. At the heart of a strong society is a strong family, which can only come through solid marriages. The Marriage Course is an indispensable tool to help improve society and enable people to fully live out their vocation to love, which is what marriage is all about.’
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Pope Francis, Lumen Fidei, 53.
The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
Father Luigi Gioia Professor of Systematic Theology, Pontifical University of San Anselmo, Rome, Italy
Monsignor Renzo Bonetti Famiglia Dono Grande Foundation, Italy
Father James Mallon St Benedict Parish, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
‘Nicky and Sila Lee’s Marriage Course is the best tool couples can use to prepare and sustain their love and their mutual commitment, before and after their marriage. I have used it with couples in a Catholic context and measured its effectiveness by the depth and the liveliness of the conversations it has triggered. It has also proved to be a powerful instrument of evangelization because it reaches a concern common to everyone and progressively leads human love to become receptive to the love of God.’
‘A few years ago, along with some married couples, I went to London to find out about the educational potential of The Marriage Course, and I was surprised to discover that it offers couples a great opportunity to experience for themselves, both conceptually and practically, the love of God. I realised that it is a real tool for evangelization: in fact, couples discover the beauty of their loving relationship and recognise and call this love by name: “God’s love”. This confirms that the course can be offered to any couple: married or unmarried couples, remarried couples, believers or not.’
‘Both The Marriage Course and The Parenting Courses have been run in my parish to the benefit of parishioners and non-parishioners alike. Here is the genius of these programs: they help our members grow healthy relationships, and provide a wonderfully rich human experience for non-churchgoers or non-believers. These programs, if used wisely, can be a means of pre-evangelization, building trust and openness so as to be a real bridge to the Church and to the life of faith.’
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WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? As well as The Marriage Course, other courses available include: The Marriage Preparation Course (for engaged couples or couples wanting to explore marriage), The Parenting Children Course (for those parenting or caring for 0–10-year-olds) and The Parenting Teenagers Course (for those parenting or caring for 11–18-yearolds). This suite of tools is already being used by many churches around the world.
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As you will see from the diagram opposite, these courses work together to help strengthen family life. Engaged couples who complete The Marriage Preparation Course typically do The Marriage Course two years or so into their marriage. Many parents who do The Parenting Children or Parenting Teenagers Courses wake up to the need to invest in their own relationship, not least for the sake of their children, and subsequently do The Marriage Course.
The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
Some, who are drawn into the Church from the local community through these courses, will then do Alpha as a relevant and practical way of further exploring the Christian faith. Alpha and these courses both feed into each other and enable the local parish to reach out to engage with the felt needs of those around them, not least in the area of their relationships. The courses can act as a bridge between the Church and the local community.
ENGAGING WITH SOCIETY New Guests
Alpha
New Guests
The Marriage Preparation Course
The Church
The Parenting Courses
New Guests
The Marriage Course New Guests The Most Revd Justin Welby Archbishop of Canterbury ‘We look around and see family breakdown; we see hopelessness in our urban and rural areas… God has, at this time, given us a family of tools for the job, including Alpha and The Marriage Course, which enable us to engage with bringing people to faith in Christ, seeing them filled with the Spirit, transformed inside, but also to see their lives set right, their communities transformed, our society changed and hope for the world.’
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HOW THE MARRIAGE COURSE SUPPORTS THE MISSION OF THE CHURCH The Marriage Course supports the mission of the Church in four key areas: 1. Pastoral conversion The course helps parishes to become more open and welcoming. It is practical, realistic and simple and meets people exactly where they are without judgment or condemnation. 2. Missionaries in motion Through hosting and leading the courses, many couples and families within the local parish have moved from being the objects of evangelization to the subjects of evangelization.
Monsignor Renzo Bonetti Famiglia Dono Grande Foundation
3. Formation of leaders Many couples have been developed and are able to serve the Church in a new way. Couples discover that God has called them, through their marriage, into a partnership that He wants to use for His purposes.
‘The Christian couple take on the role of “protagonist” in this ministry – preaching in the privileged place of the home rather than the parish. And it removes the clericalism and gives space to the domestic Church, which is the family.’
4. Transformation of society The Marriage Course helps to strengthen couples and families on the periphery of the Church. As marriages become healthier and stronger, society is transformed. This is Christian marriage bearing witness and being empowered to bring about this transformation.
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The Marriage Course – Catholic Context
ALPHA
FAMIGLIA DONO GRANDE FOUNDATION
Alpha is a series of interactive sessions that explore the basics of the Christian faith. It is a parish tool for evangelization based on welcome and hospitality, sharing and prayer. Each session includes a meal, a talk and small group discussion, where no question is too simple and no answer pre-packaged.
For further information: alphausa.org/catholics catholics@alphausa.org Alpha USA Bannockburn, IL 60015
The Famiglia Dono Grande Foundation is a not-for-profit Italian Catholic organisation supporting the Misterogrande Project, whose aim is to promote the beauty of marriage in society and the Church. Misterogrande helps all couples in their marriage, including those who are experiencing difficulties or even breakdown in their relationship and encourages them to grow in their understanding of the meaning and mission of marriage. The Foundation is supported by hundreds of couples across Italy and led by Mons Renzo Bonetti, who has created a follow-up session to The Marriage Course. This session seeks to demonstrate that every gesture in a loving relationship between a man and a woman offers a real possibility to know and encounter God, and that, through the Sacrament of Marriage, married couples are a means through which God can meet and reach every one of His children.
CAFE (CATHOLIC FAITH EXPLORATION) CaFE (Catholic Faith Exploration) has developed a series of DVD resources based on the Sacraments, including Marriage: The Beauty and the Power. This explores how the Sacrament can help a couple to love in the power of the Holy Spirit and includes input from Fr Stephen Wang (Westminster) as well as Nicky and Sila Lee (The Marriage Course).
For further information: misterogrande.org info@misterogrande.org +39 328 8473888 Fondazione di Partecipazione ‘Famiglia Dono Grande’, via Filegare, 600-37056 Bionde di Salizzole (VR), Italy
For further information: faithcafe.org info@faithcafe.org 0845 050 9428/ +44 207 717 9133 CaFE PO Box 333, St Albans, Herts, AL2 1EL, UK
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‘ We are created in order to love, as a reflection of God and his love. And in the marital union man and woman fulfil this vocation through their mutual reciprocity and their full and definitive communion of life.’ Pope Francis
For further information: alphausa.org/relationshipcentral catholics@alphausa.org The Marriage Course Alpha USA 2275 Half Day Road Ste 185 Bannockburn, IL 60015
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