BEHIND THE SCENES
LAYOUT & DESIGN
JSWING216
CHARLIE
W H A L T
L I F E ?
You may be wondering why we’v decided to launch a magazine. That’s fair question! If you’re familiar with us you know that we host one of the nation’s top podcasts on non-monogamy and get millions of views monthly on social platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Clapper.
So why add something else to our plate and start a digital magazine? The truth is, ALT Life Magazine isn’t about us. It’s about you and the community of people who have a message to share and need a platform to do it.
This magazine is for people who may not be able to put themselves out there publicly on social media due to fear of judgment and backlash. Our journey since 2021 into becoming social media influencers for the alternative lifestyle community, the one thing that’s remained consistent is the community and the people that encompass it.
are some of e people on the planet. The world needs to hear your stories, to get to know you, to fall in love with you like we have.
Our hope is that if they can see you for who you truly are, then perhaps the hate, the stigma, and the discrimination will come to an end.
We believe one of the best ways to do that is to do what we’ve pledged to do from the beginning; to shine a little light on the community.
So, we’d like to encourage all of you to contribute, to share your stories, to be heard.
We want you to be able to show the world how truly amazing and valuable this community is. We hope that one day we can all come out of the darkness and not have to live in fear.
As we close out year 2024, we wanted to make sure to say an extra thank you to all of our volunteer staff for AltLife Magazine. We have so many incredible and talented individuals who have provided time, energy, and resources into the operations for producing month after month. Our magazine staff is made up of volunteers who also live incredibly busy lives outside of this little world, so any time they are willing and able to provide to us is of great value.
No matter the time spent, each and every one of you is appreciated! We truly could not continue our efforts of this magazine without those who help contribute to writing, researching/finding partners for us to collaborate with, editing, and the magazine design/layout of AltLife.
Thank you to each of you for your continued dedication!
TTHANK HANK YYOU! OU!
A Couple’s Perspective on Seeking
LIFESTYLE: Single Men
BY: HOTDILF
The world of alternative lifestyles offers endless opportunities for couples to explore their fantasies and deepen their connection. Among the many dynamics within this space, couples seeking single men; bring a unique set of challenges and joys. This article delves into the couple’s point of view, highlighting their motivations, concerns, and the nuances of finding the right match.
Why Couples Seek Single Men
Expanding Intimacy and Trust
Many couples embark on this journey as a way to explore new levels of intimacy. Inviting a single man into their dynamic often requires a strong foundation of trust, open communication, and shared boundaries. For some, this can enhance their relationship and deepen their bond.
Fulfilling Fantasies
Couples may have fantasies that involve a third party. Single men, often referred to as “bulls” in lifestyle circles, can bring a new energy and dynamic into the bedroom, making the experience thrilling and fulfilling for all involved.
Adding Diversity
Including a single man can provide fresh perspectives, emotional dynamics, and physical experiences. This can be a way to break routine or spice up an already satisfying relationship.
The Search: What Couples are Looking
For
Couples seeking single men usually have clear criteria to ensure compatibility and mutual enjoyment. Here’s what they often prioritize:
Respect and Understanding
A single man must respect the boundaries and dynamics of the couple. This includes understanding that the couple’s relationship is the priority and recognizing the importance of communication and consent.
Tips for Success
Chemistry and Connection
Physical attraction is important, but so is the ability to connect on an emotional or intellectual level. Many couples value single men who can seamlessly integrate into their dynamic without disrupting their flow.
Discretion and Maturity
For many couples, privacy is paramount. A single man who respects their need for discretion and approaches the situation with emotional maturity is often seen as an ideal candidate.
For couples looking to connect with single men in the lifestyle, here are a few tips to keep in mind:
1
Be Clear about Intentions
Whether through lifestyle apps, online forums, or in-person meetups, clearly communicate your desires, boundaries, and expectations from the outset.
Focus on Mutual Respect
2 3
Treat the single man as an equal partner in the experience. His boundaries and comfort level matter just as much as yours. Oftentimes we forget that they are people too and deserve the same respect we would want.
Take Your Time
Rushing the process can lead to mismatched expectations or discomfort. Invest time in getting to know the single man and ensuring compatibility before diving in.
The Reward: A Dynamic Adventure
For couples, the journey of seeking a single man in the lifestyle can be an exciting and transformative experience. When approached with openness, respect, and clear communication, it offers the potential for deeper intimacy, thrilling encounters, and a strengthened relationship. While the path may have its challenges, the rewards of connection and adventure make it worth the effort.
& Aeroroses
QUESTION: QUESTION:
BY: AEROROSES & EVILLE1984
What’s the etiquette when you’re finished swapping with a couple? Should you stay and cuddle with them or do you say thanks and Should you stay and cuddle with them or do you say thanks and lleave? eave?
What’s the etiquette when you’re finished swapping with a couple?
To cuddle or not to cuddle … navigating post-play etiquette in the lifestyle can be challenging. Do you linger and cuddle, or express gratitude and make an exit? The answer depends on personal preferences, open communication, and mutual respect for everyone’s boundaries.
The golden rule in the lifestyle is communication. This doesn’t stop after initial boundaries and interests are discussed it extends to the moments after intimacy. Before a swap, it’s wise to casually broach post-play expectations. Some couples enjoy lingering in the glow of connection, while others may prefer their space once the encounter is over. Understanding these preferences in advance can avoid awkwardness.
Having clear communication with your partner is just as important when it comes to the topic of post-coital cuddles. Discuss how you each feel about the subject before engaging in snuggles or caresses after the playtime is over. Watching your partner have sex with someone else can be exciting, but watching that person slowly caress your partner while holding them may give you different feelings.
This exact scenario happened early in our journey after a swap with a couple we’d played with on more than one occasion. We were hosting them at our house and had an amazing swap with them. After it was over, we were all exhausted and no one was in a rush to leave so we all casually and slowly began moving around. While my husband and the other wife got off the bed to get water, I remained naked on the bed with the other husband. We were lying near each other, but not intentionally cuddled up until he started to stroke my back and hip. Everyone was chatting and the moment didn’t feel out of the ordinary. After we finally said our goodbyes, my husband revealed that he didn’t like the intimate way I was being touched and it made him uncomfortable. This was something that we’d never discussed before and it had never happened before, so the feelings were new and created some jealousy. We had to take the time to discuss the situation, assess all the feelings, and decide how to move forward. Eventually, the initial shock of something that we hadn’t even considered as a trigger wore off and was no longer an issue going forward.
Cuddling or sharing a moment of closeness post-swap can create a sense of warmth and appreciation for the shared experience. For many, this is a way to bond and solidify trust between partners. However, the dynamic of this interaction should feel natural and consensual for everyone involved. If cuddling feels forced or one party seems hesitant, it’s better to gracefully opt for another approach.
On the flip side, some couples view postplay time as private. Once the swap has ended, they may want to reconnect with their partner or simply wind down. In such cases, a polite, heartfelt “thank you” is often appreciated. You might say something like, “We had a great time and loved connecting with you.” Keep it light, friendly, and genuine.
If expectations weren’t clarified beforehand, don’t panic. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues. Are they engaging you in conversation or pulling you into a snuggle? Or are they subtly tidying up or hinting at wanting space? These cues can guide your next move.
Tips for Making A Smooth Exit
Make a closing statement by saying something kind and genuine, like “This was so much fun. Let’s do it again sometime!” If the swap didn’t go so well and this statement doesn’t apply, you can say something along the lines of “Thank you for having us over. It was great to meet you.” If you’re at their home, don’t overstay your welcome. Pay attention to their cues about when it’s time to leave. Likewise, if you're the host couple, don’t rush them out but don’t feel shy about making a move to wrap up the swap. You can do something like put your clothes on and offer everyone water or snacks. This can help move the party out of the bedroom and into a place closer to your front door. If the swap went well, check back in with the couple later. Reaffirm the positive connection so they know you’re really interested in getting together again.
There’s no universal rule for post-swap etiquette because every couple’s preferences differ. Ultimately, respect and communication are the foundation of any successful swinging experience. Whether you’re cuddling, sharing a laugh, or parting ways with a warm goodbye, the goal is to ensure everyone feels comfortable, valued, and satisfied.
Have a question or seeking some advice? Submit your anonymous questions to us via the Swinger Society Discord under #MagazineChat and find the link to submit under the pinned posts; or go to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/RMDWQTV
U N D E R S T A N D I N G T H E A L L U R E
O F E L E C T R O S T I M U L A T I O N
Psychological Aspects of Electrostimulation
3
Beyond the physical sensations, electrostimulation can have profound psychological effects. The power dynamics inherent in BDSM play are often amplified in electroplay, as the submissive entrusts their dominant with control over an unseen but intensely felt force. This trust can deepen the connection between partners, heightening intimacy and emotional fulfillment.
For some, the anticipation of the sensation can be as arousing as the sensation itself. The sound of a violet wand buzzing or the click of an E-stim device being turned on can create a heightened state of anticipation and arousal, playing into the psychological aspects of fear and excitement.
Electrostimulation and the Role of Power
In the realm of BDSM, power dynamics play a crucial role in shaping the experience. Electrostimulation uniquely enhances these dynamics, offering a distinct method for a dominant to exert control over a submissive. The dominant decides the intensity, duration, and location of the electrical pulses, which can range from pleasurable to challenging, depending on the negotiated parameters.
For the submissive, the experience can be one of surrender and trust. Submitting to electrostimulation involves a degree of vulnerability, as the sensations can be intense and unpredictable. This vulnerability can be deeply satisfying for some, as it allows them to experience a sense of release and surrender within a controlled environment.
Dynamics
Exploring Electrostimulation with a Partner
For those interested in exploring electrostimulation with a partner, it's essential to start with open communication. Discussing interests, boundaries, and safety concerns beforehand ensures that both partners are comfortable and on the same page. It's also beneficial to start with less intense devices, such as a TENS unit, before moving on to more advanced equipment like violet wands or E-stim devices.
As with all BDSM activities, trust and consent are the foundations of a positive experience. Regular check-ins during the session help maintain a safe and enjoyable environment, allowing both partners to explore their desires and limits.
Additional Resources
"Electricity for Pleasure and Pain" by
Captain Cleve
A specialized guide to electrostimulation in BDSM, this book covers the history, equipment, and techniques involved in using electricity for erotic play. It provides detailed instructions on different electroplay methods and emphasizes safety and consent.
"Playing With Fire: Electrical Play and Electro Play Techniques"
by
Dave Annis
This book is a practical manual focused on the use of electrical devices in BDSM. It provides step-by-step instructions on setting up and using various electrostimulation devices, as well as advice on how to integrate them into BDSM scenes safely.
Electrostimulation in BDSM offers a unique blend of physical sensation and psychological play, making it a compelling option for those interested in exploring new forms of pleasure and power dynamics. By understanding the equipment, practicing safety, and maintaining open communication, participants can safely explore this electrifying aspect of BDSM.
Whether you're drawn to the tingling sensations, the thrill of control and surrender, or the deeper emotional connection that electrostimulation can foster, this form of play offers endless possibilities for exploration and discovery. As with all BDSM activities, the key is to approach it with curiosity, respect, and a commitment to safety and consent.
"The Toybag Guide to Electrical Play" by Fish
A practical guide that covers the basics of electrical play in BDSM, including safety tips, different devices, and techniques for using them safely and effectively.
"More Shocking Than You Think: A Beginner's Guide to Electrosex" by Steve Novak
Specifically focused on electrosex and electrostimulation, this book provides beginners with a clear, step-by-step guide to understanding and safely engaging in electroplay. It covers equipment, techniques, and safety considerations, making it a useful resource for those new to this form of BDSM.
The Do’s & Don’ts for
Single Males in the Lifestyle
This month, let’s dive into a topic that tends to stir up a lot of conversation in the lifestyle (LS) community: the role of the single male. Whether you’ve been around for a while or are just dipping your toes in, it’s a delicate balance between confidence and respect, and finding that sweet spot can be tricky.
One of the most common questions I get is, “How should I present myself? Should I be humble and approach the husband with respect, or should I come in strong, showing my alpha energy?” The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. You can’t be too meek you need some assertiveness to make an impression—but you also can’t swing in like a douchebag, taking control of the room. It’s a delicate dance between selfassurance and respect for boundaries.
Recently, I’ve noticed a lot of complaints about how difficult it can be for single males to meet people in the LS. And honestly? They’re right. It’s not easy, especially when we strip away the layers. When it comes down to it, we’re all vulnerable, and insecurities can play a big role. But the key is to find a balance. You need to be brave enough to approach someone and start a conversation, but mindful of how you do it.
One thing I’ve found incredibly helpful is asking open-ended questions to get a better understanding of boundaries. Instead of charging ahead, pause and ask, “What are your rules?” or “What should I know before we continue this conversation?” Showing that you care about understanding their dynamic is often appreciated.
To those wondering, “Mr. G, what’s the golden rule for single males in the LS?”
My advice is simple: be respectful, read the room, and never push yourself too hard. Confidence is good, but cockiness? Not so much.
Look forward to chatting again next month.
WHYARENON-MONOGAMOU PEOPLEPROUDTOBE POLYAMOROUSBUTASHAM
TOIDENTIFYASSWINGERS?
BY: BELLA & JASE “4OURPLAY”
A Swinger couple’s perspective on the stigma placed on swinging vs polyamory
“I’m monogamous, but I’d be far less embarrassed to be polyamorous than be a swinger.”
“Polyamory just seems more respectable than swinging.”
“At least there’s more to polyamory than just sex.”
– Users’ comments on our various TikTok videos
In contrast, polyamory is often seen as a more “respectable” form of non-monogamy because it involves building romantic connections with multiple partners. This is generally seen as a “more mature and fulfilling” way of engaging in nonmonogamous relationships. However, these perceptions of swinging and polyamory are not fair or accurate. Both can be healthy and fulfilling ways of engaging in nonmonogamous relationships, as long as all parties involved are fully informed and consenting.
The term “swinging” has long been associated with non-monogamous behavior; specifically, couples engaging in sexual activity with other people outside of their relationship. However, this term has often been looked down upon and carries a negative connotation.
One reason for this negative perception is that swinging is often associated with a lack of emotional connection and a focus solely on sexual pleasure. This can be seen as shallow and superficial, leading to the perception that those who engage in swinging are lacking in some way.
For many couples who practice swinging as their form of consensual nonmonogamy, it’s about much more than just mindless pleasure-seeking. Like polyamory, at its core, swinging is about openly and honestly communicating with one’s partner(s) about their sexual desires and boundaries, and finding like-minded individuals who share similar interests. It’s a way of exploring one’s sexuality in a safe, judgment-free environment and strengthening the bond between partners.
Swinging can provide a sense of excitement and adventure in addition to being a way of fostering trust and open communication within the relationship. It’s a way of breaking free from societal norms and expectations and embracing one’s sexuality in a way that feels authentic to oneself.
There is one key difference between swinging and polyamory: the role of romantic monogamy.
Many couples who engage in swinging (typically this is with other couples together) prioritize maintaining a strong emotional bond with one another and prioritize their own romantic relationship. However, swingers often develop deep friendships with the other people they engage with sexually.
These friendships are built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, and having some sort of emotional or intimate friendship connection, albeit not romantic, plays an important role in choosing potential play partners and friends. They are trusting another person to be sexually intimate with someone they love, and they don’t take that lightly.
Swinging is much more than just meaningless, hedonistic sex with multiple partners. The incorrect stereotype of the label “swinger” has deterred many people, the newer generation specifically, from using the term and identifying as swingers, even if it’s what best describes their relationship dynamic.
Being a young swinger couple ourselves – both 30 years old at the time of writing this and swinging since we were 22 – we’re confused about why there’s such a stigma of the term compared to polyamory. Both are valid types of open relationships, yet the polyamorous community is proud to identify as poly or polyamorous and the swinging community is scoffed at when using our label. We can use the general term and say we’re “open,” but identifying as swingers defines the type of relationship dynamic we have, are proud of having, and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
n-monogamy ogether and rather than those who ms of nonwe can help onships and ill surrounds y are both amy, and it’s beyond the nd embrace and healthy
Healthy Breakups are Possible
“Evaluating the benefits and drawbacks of any relationship is your responsibility. You do not have to passively accept what is brought to you. You can choose.”
Deborah Day
“But, you guys don’t even fight!” Those words were the most common response my ex and I received when we started sharing with others the decision we had made to no longer navigate life together as a married couple. And what could we say back? They were right; we don’t fight, we enjoy each other’s company, and we do a wonderful job of parenting our son together. Then how in the world could we separate, especially when so many of our married friends are so unhappy with each other and yet are staying together?! How dare we go against the societal expectations that: (A) You don’t get divorced; (B) If you do get divorced, you must hate each other in order to do so; and (C) Refer back to “A.”
BY: DR ELIZABETH FEDRICK IG: @DRELIZABETHFEDRICK
The decision to end a relationship is never easy regardless of how much the couple gets along – or doesn’t. All the various factors that must be considered (children, financials, splitting assets, embarrassment, shame, etc.) are often incredibly daunting and overwhelming for most people, and rightfully so. People often stay in relationships, even when they no longer want to, for a plethora of very convincing reasons. Maybe the financial freedom doesn’t exist to separate, or maybe childcare would feel impossible, maybe religion or culture has made it clear that divorce is not an option, or maybe there is not “enough” conflict to make this decision feel acceptable. While some of the aforementioned concerns feel valid and reasonable, others simply are not. Deciding to stay in a relationship based on what society tells us we “should” do often leads to living a life of obligation, inauthenticity, and feeling trapped.
So, while many people believe they are making the “right choice” by choosing to stay, it is important to note that none of the above feelings do anything to better the relationship, but rather often result in resentment, disconnect, and hurtful behaviors.
In my work as a mental health therapist, I sit with clients day after day who struggle with the decision of how to best navigate decisions of their relationship in ways that are best for their mental health and happiness, while at the same time doing what is best for their family unit. Finding the solution in which everybody “wins” is not usually possible when it comes to breakups; however, finding the solution in which everybody (each partner and the children) can feel loved and respected, in spite of a breakup, is absolutely possible. Life is about choices. That means we are empowered to make a choice to leave a situation that no longer works for us, but that also means we are equally empowered to make the choice to do this in the least damaging and most respectful way possible.
I often assert that we chose to love and esteem our partner at the beginning of our relationship for a reason. This person was special to us and was worthy of our love and respect then, and thus is worthy of the same love and respect now, just in a different way. This means choosing to compromise, choosing to be kind and considerate in communication, and choosing to recognize that your ex is still a person, with feelings, who deserves to be respected, even after a breakup.
BY: ANONYMOUS
Our Discord server has a channel where members can submit stories they have written. Fictional or true is totally up to you! Here is a story that was submitted, and granted permission for us to share here. She grins as she leans into my touch, and our lips meet.
As I watch her set down her drink, all I can think about is licking the golden stain of liquor from her lips.
The bar is crowded, and we’re cozied up to a small corner on steel bar stools. It’s early summer, and the UCLA grads are crowding the local dives all over the Westside of Los Angeles. One of them is not-so-subtly staring at my date sidelong over the bar top. It wouldn’t be the first time that night she’s a vision in a white lace slip dress, and her pink hair is neatly curled in a cascade down her back. Who wouldn’t want to shoot their shot?
My eyes flick between my date, and the stranger bobbing his head to and fro in an attempt to make eye contact in her line of sight. I narrow my eyes, smirking as I let my gaze fall to her lips.
“You’ve got a little something there,” I say, as I lean forward and tilt her chin up with my fingertips.
“Oh, do I?”
She tastes like a mix of bourbon and cotton candy lip gloss. She’s always a bit shy with her kisses on our first date, she confided in me that I’m the first woman she’s been with.
When I pull away, the man staring at my date is watching with a flushed face, clearly mesmerized by a sight he’s likely only seen in his fetishized porno intros. He turns away, and my date seems to take notice of the eyes we’re getting from others at the bar.
“Should we call it a night?” she asks me. As I scan the bar, my eyes fall to the dimly lit hallway on the other side of the room. It dawns on me that the restrooms at this particular bar are single-occupancy.
I click my tongue, glancing back at my date. “I spilled something on my shirt,” I announce. “Want to come to the restroom and help me clean up?”
My date glances down at my top spotless as ever — and it takes her a moment to connect the dots. Her lips spread into a wry smile as she hops off the barstool, and pushes away her empty glass. I shrug my jacket over my shoulders and take her hand, leading her through the mess of tipsy revelry and towards the back hallway.
Luckily for us, the second restroom is unlocked. I slip inside and shut the heavy door behind us. Then, I turn the lock with a decisive snap.
In a split second, we have our hands all over each other.
My date’s lips crash into mine as I pin her against the door, running my hands up and down the silky waist of her dress. Her fingers slide into the hair at the back of my neck, urging me closer, closer still even as I deepen the kiss and our tongues dance. The sound of my heartbeat echoes in my head like a drum, and I feel drunk on the pure pleasure of how the curve of her breasts fit so perfectly into my hands. I tease the shape of her nipples with my thumbs; the simple motion elicits a soft moan from her throat to my lips.
Not only am I impatient to have more of her, but I’m mindful of the fact that we’re on borrowed time. I plant one last kiss on her lips before moving to her neck, kissing the space where her jaw meets her ear, and listening to the soft sounds from her throat. Then, my lips trail … down … down her body, and I eventually stoop to a kneel. I grin up at her as my middle fingers slide into the sides of her panties. They’re the little lacy pink ones the ones that match her hair.
My date swallows hard as I glance up at her.
“Just relax, m’kay?”
I turn my attention to sliding her panties down her legs, exposing her just long enough for a quick glance before I know I have to taste her. I work my way up her legs with butterfly kisses, trailing a path for myself up her inner thighs before I finally give in to temptation.
She tastes of salt and coins, a unique musk that drives my senses wild as I take my time exploring every fold of her with my tongue. Her scent is full of sweat from the hot summer’s day. She’s growing louder now, covering her mouth with one hand. The other is still tangled in my hair, grasping desperately at my messy blonde locks as I begin to quicken my pace. As I dip inside her entrance with the tip of my tongue, I can feel the gushing sensation of fresh excitement. I drag my tongue back towards where she is most sensitive and resume circling her quickly. She gasps and writhes in my hands, and grinds against my mouth. Her ass lifts from the door and slams up against it again, startling us both for just a moment before I resume my pace. My date gasps, and bucks, and I can hear her breath hitching as she careens over the edge of a release.
She shudders long and loud into the hand still clasped around her own mouth, her knees buckling to rest on my shoulders. My tongue stays on her, flat and lazy as she moves against me. Her legs tremble; her chest heaves as she begins to catch her breath. I finally draw one last flick of my tongue off of her, before I pull back from under her dress, licking my lips and grinning up at her tomato-red face. She finally drops her hand from her mouth, her labored breaths turning into open-mouthed laughter as we both come down from the high of what we’d just done.
I plant one last kiss on my date’s lips, letting her savor the taste of herself for a few moments.
“Would you want to ”
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK.
Someone is banging on the door to the restroom we’re both in. We exchange a worried glance — how long has that person been standing there on the other side of the door? — before erupting in a hushed fit of giggles.
“I was going to ask … would you want to do another round?”
My date raises an eyebrow.
“Of … drinks?”
The knocking outside the door answers for us. I grimace, snickering as I say: “Maybe we have a little nightcap at home instead.”
If you haven’t joined our discord server yet, you can join here: https://discord.gg/swingersociety
Have a story you wrote that you’d like to be featured in AltLife Magazine? You can email it to altlife.submissions@gmail.com
Defining Defining
TN _ Gal _ Nicole joins ALT Life as editorial operations, and is passionate about ENM education
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