Cameo’s Cauldron

… in which Cameo Miller stirs her thoughts and ideas to see what rises to the top.

Gifts

By Cameo Miller Illustration by Bethany Caskey

This issue of Riding Instructor comes out about Christmas time, which leads me to think about gifts. Not the kind that we put into boxes and wrap up, but a different kind of gift that we give to others and that they give to us. The gift of patience we give to our students as we repeat something for the 10th time because they have forgotten as they concentrate on something else. The gift of patience we expect from them as they struggle to grasp a skill they are having trouble with. And the extraordinary patience our school horses gift to both of us as they put up with the unintended abuse from unskilled riders.

The gift of our smile and praise when a student finally really “gets” something, or their beam of joy when they really feel it for the first time. The gift of encouragement that our students can give to each other when one of them is having a particularly difficult time. The gift a parent can give by picking up someone who would otherwise have trouble getting to lessons. Students or parents who offer to help with something Diane is a stable owner in my area who is around the barn at times. Even little kindalways giving gifts—her expressed mission nesses like holding a door open for someis to make horses available and affordable one or bringing their bridle out with your to those who really can’t afford them (and own is really a gift. it’s also just the kind of person she is). She

I have already written a whole article has given so much to me and to the people about how wonderfully kind our horses who ride at her stable, for so many years, are. A hundred times each day they give us and our students gifts of kindness, patience, and stoic endurance that is immeasurable. As long as there isn’t anger “ ..how wonderfully kind our horses and with not nearly as much appreciative praise as she deserves. Which is another point we must consider. So often these gifts are overlooked or ignored, or even or malicious intent, they expected, because that’s will put up with so much are. A hundred just the way that person that they really do not and or horse is. Try an experishould not have to—but they times each day ment for one week, or even give this to us over and over for one day. Consciously be again. Even the ones who they give us and aware and look for all the aren’t school horses put up gifts you see around you. with us when we unintenour students No matter how you think tionally do something that is people should be, recognize hurtful to them or puts them gifts of kindness, that they do not have to act in situations they clearly in any certain way. Then be would rather not be in. And patience, aware of the actions of the the worst we usually get in people (and horses) around response is some resistance and stoic you. How many gifts do you as they make their impresfind? Some people also call sion known to us. endurance that is these “acts of kindness”,

These are all gifts that but sometimes that implies we give and receive all year immeasurable... something which is out of long, not just at Christmas time. Sometimes we overlook things that happen routinely, or we don’t discern their importance because they become expected and ordinary. We don’t recognize kindness or the ordinary. These count too, of course, but I’m specifically talking in this article about all the things which are done routinely, and which we may have begun to just take for granted. ” a smile, or a million other small and large You have the choice every second of every things as gifts. But they are. We all know day to be kind or unkind; to give or withpeople who are sullen, pessimistic, and hold your gifts. You have the choice to ungrateful; people who are not helpful to appreciate or take for granted the gifts othanyone. Those who believe it is all one ers give to you. Christmas is a time of givway—they take from everyone else and give ing presents. Life is about determining what little or nothing back. Those who tie everyyou are going to do about giving gifts. thing they “give” to a price that is expected in return. A true gift has no strings and no “price”—it is just given. And we all have the choice of how we are going to be every secAbout the author: ond of every day. No one is required to be Cameo Miller is a Masters-level clinical psycholoeither nice or sullen. We each choose how gist and a Level in Michigan. She IV is a ARIA Certified Instructor based member of the ARIA Evaluation we are going to behave. Panel and National RidingInstructors Convention Staff.