September 2019 Facets

FACETS

September 2019

The magazine for women.

Ames residents named Women to Watch Ames native publishes memoir

Nevada siblings turn barn into wedding enterprise

FACETS 2 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

The magazine for women.

Contributors

MARLYS BARKER RONNA FAABORG LYNN MARR-MOORE KYLEE MULLEN ROBBIE SEQUEIRA

ADVERTISERS To advertise in Facets magazine, contact Mary Beth Scott at (515) 663-6951

Design

CHELSEA PARKS

ADDRESS 317 Fifth St. Ames, IA, 50010

Tribune Editor

EMAIL news@amestrib.com

MICHAEL CRUMB

PHONE (515) 663-6923

ONLINE www.amestrib.com/sections/ special-sections/facets Facets is a monthly publication of GateHouse Media Iowa Holdings.

Cindy Olinger and Lorraine Stumbo, both of Ames, look at ideas for gowns. Photo by Marlys Barker/ GateHouse Iowa see PAGE 6 & 7

ON THE COVER

Octogon Freese artwork. Photo by Ronna Faaborg/GateHouse Iowa

see PAGE 9 - 11

FACETS Table of contents Features 6

Women gather for Born An Angel workshop

9

Octagon celebrates 49th annual Art Festival

Nevada, Iowa

14,000 attended last year

Spotlight 4 Ames native publishes memoir 8

How singing is helping those with Parkinson’s disease

12 New Fellows principal 14 Scarlett leaves Nevada Chamber 16 Ames residents named Women to Watch 18 Nevada siblings turn barn into wedding enterprise 20 Nevada’s Fresh Start Furniture 22 Cancer has not taken away Maxwell woman’s positive outlook

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 3

Spotlight

Ames native publishes memoir on growing up during the 1960s-70s Her family, she said, was like most: each of the children did their part to contribute economically for the household, they prayed before and after every meal, they fought, and they played with friends after dinner. Looking back, however, McCarthy said so much has changed and “it is a little more unusual now.”

“It was just ordinary life,” she said. “With the passing of years, it has changed. I look back and see how it has become very unusual, and so I wanted to write a book.”

McCarthy said the challenges her parents faced raising a family “during a time of cultural chaos and upheaval,” is “very much like our current times.”

In the late-60s and early-70s, students were entering colleges at a higher rate than earlier generations. Among them were “radical” students, who would lead protests on campuses throughout the country. ISU was not exempt from that feeling of unrest, McCarthy said.

“As a kid during that time, it was very scary,” she said.

“We read the Tribune every afternoon, and the Des Moines Register every morning, and the news was full of campus unrest. It felt like our community and the world we knew was shaking and crumbling around us.”

However, things within the walls of their home remained stable and structured. The nine children remained somewhat sheltered from the chaos. Their dad, with an unwavering positive attitude and an eye for success, made

By Kylee Mullen GateHouse Iowa

Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy, an Ames native and Iowa State University graduate, is the author of “Many Hands Make Light Work: A Memoir.” The book is about growing up in a family of nine children during the 1960s and 70s. Contributed photo On Welch Avenue in the summers of the 1960s and 70s, one could find a crew of nine children — varying in age and usually singing — armed with hammers and paint rollers as they renovated houses throughout Campustown in Ames.

It may not have been an ideal job, but, if you ask Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy, many hands made for light work. The experience was one of many she said helped build her into the person she is today. Now, the Ames native and Iowa State University graduate is sharing tales of her childhood in “Many Hands Make Light Work: A Memoir,” published

by She Writes Press, in Berkley, Calif.

“The family dynamic, and the changes within it, is really the overall story arc of the book,” McCarthy said.

“Families everywhere are in a constant state of change.

Everyone can relate to that.”

McCarthy was born and raised alongside four sisters and four brothers, at 412 Welch Ave., in Ames. Her father was an agronomy professor at ISU. Her mother minded the home. Together, they operated a second business of renovating and renting houses to students at the quickly growing university.

4 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

“Many Hands Make Light Work: A Memoir”

by Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy was released in early-August. Stritzel McCarthy will give book presentations in Ames and Boone in November. Contributed photo

Spotlight

AMES NATIVE continued from page 4

sure it remained that way.

“The Stritzel approach to building a family was building a sense of stability, the expectation of success and a genuine positive attitude,” McCarthy said. “The kids worked independently because Dad was busy working, and Mom was running a very large, complex household. Really, how it worked was that they believed in us without question. Since they believed in us, we believed in us.”

She said her parents’ own experiences growing up through the Great Depression led them toward a strong do-it-yourself belief. Though she and her siblings at times grumbled about getting up at 5 a.m. to work on home renovations, she said it was ultimately good for all of them.

“My Dad never entertained the idea of failure for him or for anybody else,” McCarthy said. “He just knew we would succeed, and that really fostered a sense of capability. It was all about the group, the nine of us, and we worked every day in the summers except for Sunday. There was never really any arguing, or even the possibility of doing something else.

It was a workday, and we were going to work.”

McCarthy said though the work was hard, the memories made during that time are fond ones.

“This is not a misery memoir,” she said. “I remember a lot of laughter. I mean, we were hanging out with our sisters and brothers. And, of course, we sang. We sang to the pop songs of the 60s and 70s, we loved to harmonize, and that made work fun and go by faster, too.”

Of all the chapters within the book, each detailing a different childhood memory, McCarthy said her favorite is Chapter 23, which details a unique and traumatizing experience she had while babysitting in 1972. When she arrived to watch the young family’s baby overnight, she found an adolescent lion lounging on the couch.

“It is so unbelievable, but also so true … it was a traumatic night, and it was very scary,” she said. “The odd thing, looking back, is that it didn’t occur to me not to handle it myself. “ She said the opportunity to look back on these memories while writing the book made the process very easy, though actually finding the time to sit down and write was oftentimes difficult. As an independent journalist who has been published in The Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune, she often had to force herself to keep writing.

She and five other aspiring authors formed a group where she lives in Bellingham, Wash., during the autumn of 2012. They hired a teacher and set deadlines, working over the years to submit chapters and provide criticism of each other’s work. She said the group was key in getting her book published.

It took three years to write, two years to hire editors and go through the revision process, a year to sign with a publisher and another year for the publisher to reach the point of publication. Despite the long and laborious process, she is looking forward to writing again.

“This book will especially appeal to Ames readers, because this is their town,” McCarthy said. “The baby boomers will remember those times, and millennials will be intrigued by it.”

Today, McCarthy’s home is no longer there. It was torn town in 2012. The buildings she and her siblings once maintained are gone. However, in their place is their family’s new venture, Stritzel Apartments. The business, still run by her siblings in Ames, continues to cater to ISU students. Her father, now 97, remains active in its operation.

“For us kids, who are now grown, it was exciting but also very sentimental and sad,” McCarthy said. “It is a beautiful apartment building, and it is my father’s nod to the future.”

The book officially launched nationwide on Aug. 6 and is available from Barnes and Noble and Amazon. McCarthy also will present her book at Ericson Public Library in Boone on Nov. 19 and at Ames Public Library on Nov. 20.

Angelle Barbazon, a representative from JKS Communications, a literary publicity firm promoting “Many Hands Make Light Work,” described it as a “truly heartwarming and thoughtfully written book.”

“She’s a talented writer, yes, but she’s also an all-around stunning woman, and I feel so grateful that I get to work alongside her on this project.”

Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy is shown working on a rental house in Campustown during the 1970s in Ames.

Contributed photo

Cheryl Stritzel McCarthy is shown, along with four of her siblings, working on a rental house in Campustown in Ames. Contributed photo

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 5

Feature

Women gather for Born An Angel workshop in Nevada

By Marlys Barker GateHouse Iowa

Early this year, Kay Fleshman, a 1978 graduate of Nevada High School, now living in Lester, announced her desire to start a “Born an Angel Iowa” group, modeled after the national Angel Gown program.

On Aug. 12, 23 ladies who have become involved with Born an Angel Iowa were in Nevada for a workshop.

“This is a get-together to share our ideas and talents and encourage each other,” said Fleshman, who was glad to be back in Nevada with her great friend Sheri Harrison, who’d arranged with her church, First United Methodist, to utilize the fellowship hall for the workshop.

Born An Angel Iowa takes wedding and other formal gowns and transforms them into infant-sized “angel gowns” for children who are stillborn or who die as infants. The group also makes beautiful pouches that are suitable for the remains of very tiny babies.

Looking around the fellowship hall, one could see the activities of the day. Some ladies were cutting patterns, some doing inventory of gowns on hand and gowns already made, some were deconstructing full-size gowns and others were sewing new angel gowns and pouches.

“It’s good fellowship,” said Harrison, who has made a number of gowns this year, but loved getting together with others involved in this “ministry.”

Lorraine Stumbo, of Ames, said she was having a wonderful time.

“I love to sew, and I want my sewing to have purpose,” she said.

Fleshman said news of the group’s mission has been spreading. They’ve put out the word to many funeral homes, hospitals and mid-wives about what they are doing. They’ve recruited a number of people who love to sew. They’ve received many donations of gowns and other sewing materials and charms. They’ve had help from several businesses that serve as drop-off sites for gowns.

“We’ve personally given gowns and wraps to funeral homes now,” she said, and Iowa Methodist Medical Center in Des Moines is interested in receiving the group’s gowns. Born an Angel Iowa has even attracted the interest of a Christian radio station in Mason City who wants to help spread the news of what they are doing.

There are still needs, however, and Fleshman outlines some of the things that are needed. Storage space is at the top of her list. “We need a temperature-controlled room or building to store all these dresses, that are currently overtaking a few people’s homes.”

They need more collection sites in towns all over the state and people who would be willing to transport dresses from one place to another when needed.

They, of course, continue to appreciate donated supplies, sewing materials, fabric (especially white flannel) and gowns and would love to have more “charms,” the little embellishments they can add to the gowns.

Most important, “we’ll take anybody who loves to sew, or even crochet,” Fleshman said.

Judy Roe of Ames is one of those women who loves to sew. Roe said she doesn’t do social media, but her daughter saw something about Born an Angel Iowa and sent it to her. “I did a lot of bridal sewing,” she 6 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

This close up of Kay Fleshman, who started the Born an Angel Iowa group, shows the Born An Angel logo that was designed

by Liz Cox. Photo

by Marlys Barker/ GateHouse Iowa

Judy Roe, right, of Ames, looks through items on one table with Kay Fleshman, left, and Sheri Harrison. Roe ran an alterations business in Ames for 15 years. Photo by Marlys Barker/GateHouse Iowa

Deb Hecker of Port Byron, Ill., and Arlene Jensen of Nevada visit during the Born an Angel Iowa workshop on Monday.

Photo by Marlys Barker/GateHouse Iowa

Feature

BORN AN ANGEL, continued from page 6

said of the 15 years she operated her Ames business, Judy’s Alterations. “So angel gowns are right up her alley,” said Harrison, who was listening in.

Coming from the farthest distance was Deb Hecker of Port Byron, Ill., who said she drove to central Iowa the night before the event to take part in the workshop.

As she looked around the room, Fleshman felt grateful for the nicesized group and the work being done. “I would have been happy with eight (people showing up),” she confided. “I have no idea how many dresses are here, but it’s just wonderful.”

This shows how charms can be used to add beautiful embellishments. Born An Angel Iowa would love to have more donated charms.

Photo by Marlys Barker/ GateHouse Iowa

Cindy Olinger of Ames holds up a gown she has worked on during Monday’s workshop. Olinger said she’s mainly a quilter, but she loved taking part in the angel gown workshop. Photo by Marlys Barker/ GateHouse Iowa

Sheri Harrison (left) and Kay Fleshman sort through finished angel gowns and pouches, plus some crocheted items. All finished items are placed in plastic bags to protect them. Photo by Marlys Barker/GateHouse Iowa

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 7

Spotlight

Elizabeth Stegemöller, assistant professor of kinesiology at Iowa State University, has helped Ames residents suffering from Parkinson’s disease to find their voice. Photo by Robbie Sequeira/GateHouse Iowa

By Robbie Sequeira

How singing is helping those who suffer from Parkinson’s disease

GateHouse Iowa

Despite being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, Paul Ennis’ love for music and singing hasn’t dimmed.

Through music therapy classes on every Wednesday afternoon at First Baptist Church of Ames, he gets to sing a favorite song of his.

It’s a Perry Como classic: “Catch a Falling Star,” a song that reminds him to hold onto precious things life has to offer.

“We all have our struggles. We all are having a hard time,” Ennis said. “But the song, to me, means catch a happy feeling or moment and keep it in your pocket. It helps during the rough days.”

Ennis, along with 20 others in the class, who are also affected by Parkinson’s, performed in the third-annual Parkinson’s Disease Singing Festival on Aug. 10 at First Baptist Church of Ames.

Elizabeth Stegemöller, assistant professor of kinesiology at Iowa State University and the festival’s organizer, leads the Ames group, but she also has conducted studies on how singing and vocal exercises can improve functions for those with Parkinson’s.

“We do a lot of vocal exercises in classes that focus on those muscles,” Stegemöller said. “We also talk about proper breath support, posture and how we use the muscles involved with the vocal cords, which requires them to intricately coordinate good, strong muscle activity.”

Parkinson’s disease is an incurable and neurodegenerative disorder that, as the disease progresses, includes a host of deteriorating motor functions for those diagnosed.

“We often associate Parkinson’s disease with tremors, or shaking, but there is also a gradual and progressive toll being taken on those who suffer from it,” Stegemöller said.

8 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

Age is often a factor in susceptibility to the disease, according to the National Institute of Health. An estimated 10 million people are living with Parkinson’s worldwide, and the average age of onset is 60 years old.

Some of the findings from Stegemöller’s study have already been published in Medical and Rehabilitation Journals for Parkinson’s disease.

However, through music as means of therapy, Stegemöller has seen a link between singing and improvement in motor functions for Parkinson’s patients.

In 2017, she headed research at ISU, and data from that study found that singing can improve patients’ breathing, allowing them strength in their muscles to speak and swallow Singing requires the use of the same muscles associated with swallowing and respiratory control, two functions complicated

by Parkinson’s that can lead to death.

Motivated by her research, Stegemöller has been holding music therapy classes in Ames, Waverly and Des Moines over the past three years, with the goal to improve patients’ muscle activity and coordination through song.

“Music has a therapeutic link for many people — the way we hear certain notes, the way we connect with sound,” Stegemöller said. “For the people I’ve been working with, seeing the improvement over each week with their breathing is always encouraging. It’s what make all of this so rewarding.”

Ennis, himself, will continue to participate in the classes, because they have become in a sense — a falling star.

“Every day can be different with (Parkinson’s) but things like this, and being in a group with others who are going through similar struggles — makes you appreciate moments like this,” he said.

Feature

A chalk drawing of a dragonfly created by Sara Sherman with the Ames Public Art Commission is an example of the type of art that will be included in the Chalk the Block event at the art festival. Contributed photo

Octagon celebrates 49th annual Art Festival

By Ronna Faaborg GateHouse Iowa

Featuring approximately 95 juried artists from seven states, the Octagon Art Festival will fill downtown Ames with thousands of art enthusiasts on Sunday, Sept. 22, from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

It’s the 49th year for the festival, which offers a wide variety of functional, wearable and decorative artwork.

“We have between 12,000 and 14,000 people attend the festival each year,” said Heather Johnson, executive director for the Octagon Center for the Arts. “It’s hard to count the attendance exactly, but we get a large number of people who come out to see the artists, enjoy the food and music, and watch the various demonstrations.

“It’s a fun celebration of arts in all types of categories.”

It’s Johnson’s 18th year coordinating the Octagon Art Festival.

The festival was first held in 1970 in Bandshell Park and was formerly known as Art in the Park. From the park, it moved to the interior of Hilton Coliseum.

“My first year with the festival was in 2002 when it was held for the last time indoors at Hilton Coliseum,” Johnson said. “2003 was the first year the festival was brought downtown to Main Street and it was great to move the event outdoors and offer a more community atmosphere to the festival.”

That festival atmosphere includes a wide selection of cuisine, including food trucks that will be at the event. Vendors will include Burgies Coffee, Cornbred Barbecue, Karams Grill, Kona Ice, Macubana, Los Primos Grill, Sweet Treats, E’s Eats, Indian Delights, Smiles and Gyros, and Zimm’s Kettle Korn.

A variety of free entertainment including live bands and performing arts will be presented throughout the day. Festivalgoers

Two festivalgoers look at ceramics during a past year’s Octagon Art Festival.

Contributed photo

can enjoy entertainment from Orchesis I (contemporary dance), The Haunted Hallows (folk), Coffee Shop Romance (acoustic duo), Lawn Chair Fortress (alternative rock and funk), ISU Boomwhacker Club, Miles Morgan (acoustic), Elizabeth Zimmerman (folk/rock) and World Port (world beat).

Children’s art activities will be available in front of the Octagon Center for the Arts along the 400 block of Douglas for youngsters wanting to create their own works of art.

“The kids’ activity tent is a fun place,” Johnson said. “It’s a great time for them to make their own projects, express their creativity and just enjoy art in a low-stress environment.”

Located near the kids’ activity tent, face-painter Lucinda Gilland is a perennial favorite for kids of all ages.

“I’ve been here every year for about eight years,” said Gilland. “I do face and body art as well as glitter tattoos.”Gilland, a Nevada resident who owns the business Princesses and Pirates Face Painting, also offers handmade jewel clusters that can by used as body jewelry. The pretty clusters don’t require piercing and are kept intact by latex-free eyelash glue.

Gilland started her business in 2011, shortly after she was surprised to discover a love and a knack for painting. “I didn’t know I could paint until I was 32 years old,” she said.

Her son was 3 years old and he said he wanted to be Spider-Man. “So I painted his face and was surprised by how good it looked and how much I liked doing it. It just felt good to paint,” she said.

For about seven months, Gilland practiced and practiced – on her kids and her nieces and nephews. It snowballed to the point where she decided to start a business. Her first customer was Valentino’s FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 9

Feature restaurant in Ames, where she was hired to paint faces the eatery’s guests.

Gilland’s business’ name was inspired by her love of Disney.

“I’m originally from southern California, so I grew up around Disney and I’ve always loved princesses and pirates,” she said.Lucinda will be joined this year by her 17-year-old daughter Lia, who has been assisting her for a few years and now is ready to do the painting.

Having her daughter involved adds positivity to an environment that already delights Lucinda.

“I absolutely love what I do,” she said. “I always get to work in happy, fun and creative places.”

From the Octagon Art Festival to the Blank Park Zoo to the Wasserbahn water park in eastern Iowa, Gilland stays busy with her painting in a variety of upbeat venues. She also works parties and has recently started offering blacklight UV parties.

“I have paints that glow in the presence of blacklight,” she said.

“People just love it. I’ve done some Proms and some hotels for New Year’s Eve. The paints just look amazing in the dark.”

Gilland can be reached through her Princesses and Pirates Face Painting page on Facebook or at her website pnpfaceart.com.

Octagon Art Festival Sunday, Sept. 22 10 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Main Street, downtown Ames For more information regarding the Octagon Art Festival including a festival map and a complete list of participating artists, visit www.octagonarts.org.

Octagon Art Festival Entertainment Tom Evans Performance Area 10 to 11 a.m.

Orchesis I Orchesis I is a student-organized dance company dedicated to the fine art of dance, choreography and performance. Members strive to provide variety in dance forms that will train the body, mind and soul. Their intellectual interests are in contemporary dance with an emphasis on modern/postmodern theories, styles and artistic goals.

10 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

OCTAGON, continued from page 10

11:15 a.m. to 12:15 p.m.

The Haunted Hallows Formed by Ben Hallow and his wife Mallory, The Haunted Hallows are a folk band based out of Iowa. The Hallows are influenced by traditional folk, gypsy folk, bluegrass, punk rock, blues, emo and heavy metal. With a passion for all things macabre, strange and unusual they mix those interests in their contemporary song writing.

Adding the rhythmic guitar, haunting harmonies and traditional claw-hammer banjo, it creates the eerie folk sound that is The Haunted Hallows.

12:45 to 2:45 p.m.

Coffee Shop Romance Coffee Shop Romance is a husband and wife acoustic duo, James and Lisa Webb. They have been happily married for 24 years and have two children. James is an English teacher at Ames High and Lisa is a paraprofessional at Roland-Story High School. They have both used their musical talents for years in different settings. They love to cover all genres and eras of music and adapt it to their original style.

3 to 4 p.m.

Lawn Chair Fortress Lawn Chair Fortress is a group of young musicians raised in Ames, including Jake Pelton (guitar and vocals), Alec Nagle (drums and guitar) and Jonah Degeest (piano, bass and saxophone). Performances include original songs that span across genres from alternative rock to funk to jazz. They also enjoy throwing in fun covers from artist like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Vampire Weekend, The Zoutons and many more.

Cynthia Duff Performance Area 10 to 10:45 a.m.

ISU Boomwhacker Club The ISU Boomwhacker Club practices and performs a variety of music using boomwhackers to create their unique sound. Their mission is to create an environment for students with and without musical backgrounds to practice and perform music together.

11 a.m. to noon Miles Morgan Miles Morgan graduated from Iowa State University in December of 2003 with a B.A. in vocal music. During his time at ISU he was a member of the Iowa State Singers under the direction of James Rodde and performed in several ISU Opera Studio productions. He also took voice lessons with Mary Creswell. After college Morgan spent several years in Nashville, Tenn., and performed at various venues during that time. Since returning to Ames, he has sung with the Ames Municipal Band at Bandshell Park, performed multiple times at the Ames Main Street Farmers’ Market, and performed at other local venues. Currently Morgan is recording simple acoustic cover songs for his YouTube channel, “Miles Morgan Music.” He is also writing several new originals and plans to continue to play local shows. He is married and has three children (9, 6, 3). During the day you can find him working at First National Bank of Ames.

12:15 to 1:45 p.m.

Elizabeth Zimmerman Elizabeth Zimmerman is a singer-songwriter and pianist, leaning toward soul, jazz, blues and folk/rock styles. She believes that music

Feature is a universal language. It is the perfect metaphor for life itself: constantly moving, changing and evolving. She can’t remember a time in her life where music wasn’t playing outside or inside her head.

2 to 4 p.m.

World Port World Port plays its Emmy-winning original music, inspired by melodies and rhythms that have immigrated here from around the world. Music with the excitement of a world street festival and the freedom of a jazz jam.

About 14,000 people attend the Octagon Art Festival each year in downtown Ames. Contributed photo Local singersongwriter Elizabeth Zimmerman will perform from 12:15 to 1:45 p.m. at the Cynthia Duff Performance Area during the Octagon Art Festival.

Contributed photo

The paintings of Melynda Van Zee, of Huxley, will be featured at the 49th annual Octagon Art Festival.

Contribute photo

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 11

Spotlight

New Fellows principal looks forward to her first year in Ames

By Kylee Mullen GateHouse Iowa

Lana LaSalle loves walking through the school supply aisles when shopping. Seeing rummaged through folders, crayon boxes, notebooks and markers means one thing for her: the new school year is just around the corner.

This year is especially exciting for LaSalle, as she transitions into her new role as principal of Fellows Elementary School in Ames. She officially began July 15 and couldn’t wait for students to fill the hallways when school started.

“I am very excited to be here,” she said. “I am excited for the beginning of the school year, and to start building relationships. I felt it Monday morning when I came in. I woke up before the alarm went off, and I was just ready to go and get in here.”

LaSalle has served as an elementary principal in the Bettendorf Community School District since 2012, and she has an extensive background in education going back to

12 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

1985, when she started her first job as a classroom teacher in rural Missouri.

According to an announcement on the Ames Community School District website, LaSalle has “vast knowledge in the areas of math and literacy curriculum. She has also been instrumental in providing professional development opportunities for staff in her district.”

LaSalle earned a bachelor’s degree in education from Missouri Southern State University, a master’s degree in curriculum and instruction/reading from Central Missouri State University and a master’s degree in educational administration from St. Ambrose University. In addition, she is currently a second-year doctoral student at Drake University.

Her educational and professional experiences, specifically in the areas of equity and implementing positive behavioral interventions and supports, made her stand out

Spotlight NEW FELLOWS PRINCIPAL, continued from page 12

from the pool of candidates vying for the position, the Ames Community School district said.

“Both of these are areas of focus for the Ames Community School District, and areas in which LaSalle will be able to provide valuable insight as we move forward,” the school’s announcement said.

However, LaSalle’s interest in education stems back farther than her prior jobs or her college degrees. If you ask her, it goes back to her own childhood experiences attending elementary school in Missouri.

“From a very young age, starting in kindergarten, I would play school. I just always knew that’s what I wanted to do,” LaSalle said. “I always wanted to make a difference for somebody, for a child, in their lives because that’s what education did for me.”

LaSalle said she grew up in poverty and learned to value education. She always looked up to her teachers, and she wants to connect with her students in the same way those teachers connected with her.

“When I was in school, it was important for me to feel like the teachers all loved me and that I was welcome there. I really want that for our kids here,” she said. “I want them to know that we all care for them, because no one will learn unless they know they are cared for.”

Looking into the upcoming school year, LaSalle said she is excited to get to know the community and collaborate with the school’s staff. Her biggest goal is to “learn the system and really learn how it ticks,” and to add anything she thinks will help the school grow.

“My goal is to teach (the kids) a love of learning, so they can understand how joyous it can be when you learn something new. Part of that is helping teachers with their instruction so it becomes a joyous situation for all students,” she said.

“I want all students, no matter where they come in — whether they are not achieving as high as other students or whether they are the highest fliers — to learn and grow. I don’t want anyone to be stagnant. With good instruction, I do believe all students can learn and grow within their environment.”

LaSalle replaces former principal Brandon Schrauth, who held the position since April 2017.

LaSalle said she looks forward to meeting the students, parents, staff and community in the coming weeks. Her excitement will only continue to grow as she sees more parents wandering through store aisles, working on next year’s school shopping list.

“I feel like I fit here already, and I’ve only been here for a few days,” she said in July. “I know this is just an awesome district, so I really feel like it’s a great place to be.”

Lana LaSalle began her new role as principal of Fellows Elementary School on July 15, after serving as an elementary principal in the Bettendorf Community School District since 2012. LaSalle replaces former principal Brandon Schrauth.

Photo by Kylee Mullen/GateHouse Iowa FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 13

Spotlight

Scarlett leaves Nevada Chamber of Commerce after seven years as director Friday, Aug. 2, was Lynn Scarlett’s last day as the Nevada GateHouse Iowa Chamber of Commerce’s executive director.

Scarlett, 61, started at the Chamber in October of 2012 and thought it would be her final career move. “I was excited about the job. I thought it would be a great way to give back to my community,” she said.

But the finality she once saw in her job all changed this past spring and summer, when a committee, formed through the Chamber, started pursuing a berth in the Main Street Iowa program. The committee announced that, if successful in their bid, Main Street Nevada would absorb many functions of the Nevada Chamber (which would no longer exist) and seek to hire a director.

With no guarantee that she’d be hired as the Main Street Nevada director, Scarlett started looking for a new job and was offered an administrative assistant/receptionist position with Clapsaddle-Garber, a civil engineering firm in Ames.

She sees positives about her new position. For one thing, she’ll have health insurance benefits, which she didn’t have at the Chamber. She also anticipates that she’ll be able to leave

By Marlys Barker

14 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

work at the office. “There won’t be the pressure of social media and events and meetings, many of which have been in the evening,” she said.

But, despite the stresses, she has loved her work with the Nevada Chamber of Commerce.

“I loved having people stop in the office if they were looking to move to the area and being able to visit with them about all the great things here. I liked delivering welcome baskets,” she said, which has given her a chance to meet many new residents.

One thing she is most proud of during her time at the Chamber is the development of a Community Leadership Committee, which included representatives of many entities in Nevada, like the school, hospital, city government, etc.

“We met quarterly and it was an opportunity for everyone to say, ‘This is what we’re doing.’ We talked about housing needs or what each of them had going on. Our goal was to make Nevada a better community by sharing and communicating with each other.”

Scarlett said she leaves the Chamber with no

Lynn Scarlett resigned after seven years of service as Nevada’s Chamber of Commerce executive director. Her last day in the office was Aug. 2. Photo by Marlys Barker/GateHouse Iowa

Spotlight SCARLETT LEAVES NEVADA CHAMBER, continued from page 14

disappointment in how it has functioned in Nevada.

“I think the Chamber has done its job here. We’re reputable and we’ve had a lot of resources we’ve shared with people,” she said.

Having come to the Chamber from a 10-year position with Story County United Way, Scarlett said, “When I came, my hope was to bring my human services knowledge to Nevada in this position.” To that end, she’s answered a lot of calls that have allowed her to point people in the direction of needed services. She’s also answered a lot of calls that have made her laugh. “I wish I had a dollar for all the callers over the last seven years who think they’re calling the state of Nevada.

I probably could have retired on that.”

Her departure comes at the peak of the Lincoln Highway Days celebration preparation period — the annual celebration happens the last full weekend of August. The Chamber is in charge of the celebration.

Because she’s been very involved in this year’s plans, Scarlett has agreed to work part-time — a couple of evenings a week — until the end of August, answering emails and phone messages, handling parade registrations, lining up vendors, barricades, portable restrooms and more.

“There’s a lot of last-minute details,” she said, “and we’re still looking for more volunteers.” Not certain of whether there will always be someone at the Chamber during the week after she leaves, Scarlett said she’ll be checking email and phone messages regularly to make sure things are ready.

As she prepared to leave, Scarlett wished to say thanks to a couple of people, Kathy Pettinger, the current president of the Chamber board, and Tom Geist, who holds the current incoming president position on the board.

“I want to thank them for having my back and for all the support they’ve given me,” she said. One of her children, son James, has had some very serious health issues over the past year. “They’ve supported me through all that, too, and I thank other board members and Chamber members for their support.”

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 15

Spotlight

Ames residents named as ‘Women to Watch’ in hospitality

by Iowa Restaurant Association

By Kylee Mullen GateHouse Iowa

Two Ames women were recently recognized by the Iowa Restaurant Association as part of its inaugural list of 40 “Women to Watch” in the hospitality industry.

Darian Everding, a bartender at London Underground, and Stacey Wertzberger, hospitality and event management academic advisor at Iowa State University, were selected from roughly 100 nominees from across the state for the list, which highlights “nearly every segment and function in the industry,” according to the association’s website.

Jessica Dunker, president and CEO of the Iowa Restaurant Association, said there are about 155,000 people who work in Iowa’s restaurant industry, and over half of them are women. She hopes the list will empower and educate women throughout the state who have a passion for hospitality but are unsure of how to pursue a career within it.

“There is a wide range of possibilities for what you can do within the hospitality industry,” she said. “We sought nominations for people who are really making a difference in their communities, in their businesses, in their fields of emphasis and in the hospitality industry. We were shocked by how quickly people responded.

“Our hope is to educate women about the possibilities this industry holds for them and give them some shining examples of what is out there and what other women are already doing.”

The 40 “Women to Watch” in the hospitality industry list was released on July 18, and the women selected will be recognized at the Iowa Hospitality Expo on Nov. 18 at the Iowa Events Center.

Darian Everding 16 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

DARIAN EVERDING

On any given day, Everding can be found behind the bar at either London Underground on Main Street or +39 Restaurant, Market & Cantina on Stange Road in Ames.

Working in the hospitality industry was not always her plan, but she is grateful for the path that led her to it.

“When I started bartending, I fell in love with it,” she said.

“It’s amazing. I get to meet people, interact with them and care for them. I get to learn new things and teach it to them.

I get to introduce new things to them and bring back fond memories just by pouring their favorite drink.”

In 2016, Everding graduated from the University of Northern Iowa with a degree in physics. She moved to Ames with her eyes on a graduate program at ISU. However, her plans fell through due to “a combination of health and life reasons.”

This led her to London Underground, where she just celebrated her third work-anniversary.

Everding started learning everything she could about bartending and the alcohol production industry. She enjoys the ability to serve her community in a personal and interactive way. She said something was missing, however, as she grew accustomed to being involved with different associations and societies as a physics student. She wanted to find a community within bartending, as well.

She became involved with the United State Bartenders’ Guild, a national organization of more than 6,000 bartenders in more than 60 chapters. There was not a chapter in Iowa, so she decided to form one. Now, she is one of the founders and the first president of the Des Moines Chapter of the U.S. Bartenders’ Guild.

Dunker said the association was impressed by Everding’s leadership in forming the chapter, and it was one of the reasons she was selected for the list.

“This young woman is a mover and shaker,” Dunker said.

“We feel like every component of the hospitality industry should have a path and groups of people where they can have professional camaraderie, so we were so excited that this group would being revived and led by a woman in the state of Iowa.”

When she isn’t behind the bar or leading the guild, Everding can be found running a program at London Underground called Women in Whiskey, which showcases women working in whiskey production. She said she does not know who nominated her for the list, but she is humbled and honored to know her work both in Ames and throughout Iowa is being recognized.

“It is major wind in my sail, and I really appreciate it,” she said. “Knowing that somebody out there saw some of the work I was doing as really important is really cool and validating. It’s very meaningful.”

Spotlight STACEY WERTZBERGER

Wertzberger has worked in the hospitality industry for roughly 18 years and has experience in nearly every facet of the industry. Now, she is using her experience to inspire students at ISU. Back in 2004, she graduated from ISU with a degree in hotel and restaurant institution management. She said, since then, she has worked in the management and culinary team at Marriott and as catering manager and retail chef at HyVee. She has “spent more years working in the industry than not,” and is passionate for serving others.

“I’ve done a lot of different things with my major, and I was always guided toward helping other people,” she said. “I later realized that I also had a passion for teaching others.”

She saw a position at ISU and went for it. She said, “If you told me back in 2004 that I would end up back at college, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

She started at the university in January this year, and she enjoys teaching students how they can follow their own passions within hospitality to lead successful careers. She tells her students to “just get out there” and “be open to letting things fall where they may.”

Dunker said people do not always realize the education required and how many educational opportunities there are in the hospitality industry, and Wertzberger’s work to guide students is vital.

“Stacey is a great example of someone who had an amazing career in the industry and is now mentoring students who are seeking a degree in the field,” Dunker said. “She is really taking her industry experience and using it to frame possibilities for other, and that is why she was chosen.”

Dunker also said many people view hospitality as “a steppingstone to something else,” but people can find

life-long success in every part of the industry. She said showing students a path toward that successful career is one of the driving forces behind the “Women to Watch” list.

For Wertzberger, looking at the other women on the list, it is especially inspiring.

“There are 39 other women on that list who are very deserving and very hard working. It’s kind of nice to be put on a list with them, knowing I’ve worked in the industry for so long,” she said. “Knowing you’re being recognized for the hard work you’ve done, and to hopefully inspire other young women who are looking to get into the business, is an honor.”

Stacey Wertzberger

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 17

Spotlight

The owners of The Old Fifty-Six barn and family: (back row, left to right) David Karkosh, Pam Karkosh, Andrea Uhlenhopp, Nick Uhlenhopp, (front row) Audrey Karkosh, Hayden Karkosh, Laney Uhlenhopp and Landry Uhlenhopp. Photo by Wild Soul Weddings, Grundy Center

Nevada siblings turn barn into wedding enterprise

By Lynn Marr-Moore GateHouse Iowa

Ever remember hearing this: “Close the door, were you born in a barn?” Or maybe those words came out of your mouth when someone left your house and left the door open. This saying was based on the fact that barn doors were left open by farmers to let animals in or out.

Now the old barn is used in other ways than housing the farm animals. Today, it can be a beautiful wedding destination.

So, you want to get married in a barn? The trend of hosting your wedding on a farm, complete with a barn for your reception, is not going anywhere anytime soon. And for a couple of former Nevada residents, they invested in just that…an old barn to hold weddings and receptions in.

Brother and sister duo of Nick and Andrea Uhlenhopp and David and Pam Uhlenhopp Karkosh, are now the proud owners of The Old Fifty-Six, located west of Grundy Center on Highway 175.

The Old Fifty-Six is a historical barn, built in 1907. The two couples decided to purchase the venue, partially as an investment for their futures.

Nick and Pam grew up in Nevada, the children of the late Darwin and Mary Uhlenhopp. They both married and now they each have two daughters. Nick is the assistant athletic direction of football operations 18 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

at Western Kentucky University and his wife, Andrea, is a senior account executive with Hulafrog. Nick and Andrea handle the bills, contracts and other business operations of the Old Fifty-Six venue.

Pam is a labor and delivery nurse at The University of Iowa Hospital and her husband, David, is a farmer with Interstate Swine.

Pam and David handle the day-to-day operations at the barn, tours and wedding preparations.

According to Andrea, the Old Barn is mainly used for weddings.

“We are mainly a wedding venue,” she said. “However, we can accommodate receptions, parties, family reunions, holiday gatherings, company parties, dinners and family reunions. This past April, we hosted a concert featuring Cody Hicks after the Grundy Center Fun Run.” Many couple getting married today see their wedding as an expression of their identity. Deciding to get married in a barn could express their love of being connected, not only to each other, but to nature.

“When I was getting married, my mom was sick and didn’t feel well,” explained Pam. “I couldn’t have gotten everything ready without my family and our amazing friends stepping up and helping.

Spotlight NEVADA SIBLINGS continued from page 18

Each week I get to be that person for the couples that get married here at the Old Fifty-Six.” On the business end of things, Andrea gave a brief overall view of the property.

“We specialize in weddings by offering an all-inclusive price,” she tells. “Included is options for both an indoor and outdoor ceremony, a large reception area featuring tons of historic charm with visible rafters in the upper level of the barn. A separate bridal suite and grooms’ space round out the ultimate wedding venue. The price includes the barn from Friday until Sunday, tables and chairs for reception space and wooden benches and church pews for ceremony seating. We are happy to now offer the house on the property as a rental option year-round. The fully furnished farmhouse features five bedrooms and 3.5 baths. It’s a charming spot for special memories with your family and friends.”

Often couples holding their wedding and reception at The Old Fifty-Six live in urban areas and want to celebrate in a calmer, less complicated situation, removed from the big city.

Sometimes, the bride and groom will bring a favorite animal to be part of the experience with them.

“A couple weeks ago, we had a couple have their prize bull in their wedding,” tells Pam. “You never know what people are going to do and what is important to them.”

The Old Fifty-Six offers several wedding packages to fit the desire and needs of the bride and groom. Couples can arrange their own decorations, food options and entertainment, as well as rent them on site of The Old Fifty-Six.

Andrea explained that there are many options to the planning and what the couple want to do with their wedding.

A time to meet with those interested in holding an event at The Old Fifty-Six can be arranged by contacting them for a tour.

They can be reached through the Facebook page “The Old Fifty-Six: barn weddings and events” to arrange for a private tour.

“Overall, it’s been really fun,” commented Pam. “Last fall, I was helping put batteries in candles and decorating the ceremony area as guests were arriving. I love meeting new people, hearing their stories and being a part of their special day.”

And don’t worry, you will not hear anyone yelling to shut the door, even if you were born in a barn.

The Old Fifty-Six barn. Contributed photo FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 19

Spotlight

Nevada’s Fresh Start Furniture organization is asking for help from local residents

By Marlys Barker GateHouse Iowa

Fresh Start Furniture came into existence about three years ago because there was a need to help people find usable furniture.

Now, the biggest challenge Fresh Start faces is finding more volunteers to help it meet the community’s needs.

Four Nevada residents, all members of First United Methodist Church in Nevada, are the driving force behind Fresh Start. Denton Nissley, minister of youth and Christian discipleship at the church, along with Ken and Mary Ann Downs and Sheri Harrison say they need a bigger force of residents to be on their on-call list, and they also continue to need donations to support the two storage units they have, and awareness in the community that their organization wants to have usable furniture donations.

Beds, dressers and couches are the most popular furniture items requested, said Ken. Also appreciated by many people are smaller, counter-top kitchen appliances and all types of kitchen things, from glasses to dishes to silverware, along with tables.

“These are people down on their luck,” Harrison said about who Fresh Start Furniture serves. And while it doesn’t have to be top-of-the-line used furniture, she advised, “We wouldn’t give them anything we wouldn’t use ourselves.”

The advent of Fresh Start Furniture grew out of Nissley’s gift for finding people who need help. When he first arrived in Nevada several years back, he’d go for walks in the community, and he started meeting people who needed help, especially with furniture.

Harrison recalled, “He’d (Nissley) call me and say, ‘Hey, 20 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

I need a bed or a couch for someone.’” She and Mary Ann would get on Facebook and put out the word to see if anyone would respond. That led to them thinking it would be great if they could collect furniture when people were willing to donate it, and store the items so that when someone had an immediate need, they would have inventory to go to.

“Right now, we’re spending just shy of $200 a month for two storage units,” she said. The money to pay that bill has come through donations and fundraisers. They also all agree that Fresh Start Furniture is usually in one of two states — feast or famine. They either have a low supply of furniture or have gotten a bunch in at once. When they have both storage units totally full, they don’t really have anywhere else to put things until some of the items clear out, so having an extra space to put overflow items would be nice. One storage unit, they said, is usually used for just bed frames and mattresses.

Fresh Start’s volunteers never ask questions when someone needs something. “There’s no judgment here,” Harrison said. They have helped when people have gone through fires and in other situations when people have found themselves suddenly without the comforts of home.

When the tornado hit in Marshalltown last year, they got requests and were able to help fill some needs there. They said while their main mission is to address needs in Story County, they have no problem giving to people in other counties, as long as someone can come here to get the items.

That’s because they have enough trouble coordinating efforts to move furniture locally with just a small list of people to call on.

“We just added another person today to help with organizing volunteers,” Nissley said last week, and that will help, because Mary Ann does a lot of the organizational work and could use a break once in awhile. But what they’re desperately short on is “muscle.”

“Ken just had two shoulder replacements,” Harrison said.

“So we could use more strong people to help move things, and people with trucks and trailers to haul things are always appreciated.”

What the group is hoping for is that people reading this story will respond. They have a list of about 10 people who can be called on to help with moving furniture. “We’d like to see two or three dozen people on that call list,” Nissley said, and clarifies, you don’t have to be a Methodist church member to help. “We’ll accept anyone willing to help.”

They’d also love to hear from service groups, especially those with high school-age kids who could help once in a while.

What they don’t want is to have to shut down Fresh Start Furniture due to a lack of volunteers. The need for this service has grown in each year that they’ve had it.

“I don’t think at any time in the beginning that I would have guessed there was this much of a need,” Nissley said. sidebar

Spotlight If you can help Fresh Start Furniture in any of these ways…

• being on a call list to help move furniture items • being on a call list because you have a truck/trailer to donate to move things • making a donation to help pay for the storage units utilized by Fresh Start • donating usable furniture items, especially couches, beds and dressers, to the organization …please Contact Fresh Start Furniture by messaging its Facebook page or calling Mary Ann Downs at 515-231-7790.

• wheelchairs • shower seats If you need to borrow one of these items, or if you have a medical type item to donate, please message Fresh Start Furniture on Facebook or call Mary Ann Downs at 515-231-7790.

Also available through Fresh Start Furniture are the following medical items/equipment that can be borrowed for an extended period if not already in use: • adjustable medical bed • walkers

Fresh Start Furniture rents two storage units in Nevada where they try to keep a usable inventory of furnishing items people may need. Photos Contributed

Furniture for bedrooms, including mattresses and box springs, are among the most needed items by residents in need. Photo Contributed

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 21

Spotlight

Jen Tongay is shown with her son, Aidan, and her dog, Skylar, a terrier mix.

Contributed photo

By Marlys Barker GateHouse Iowa

Cancer has not taken away Maxwell woman’s positive outlook

22 | FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019

Have you ever really thought about what your true purpose in life is?

A Maxwell woman, living with terminal cancer, has thought a lot about it.

Jen Tongay, 38, believes she was put on this earth to educate people, especially others fighting cancer, about how to cope with their disease and be happy that they’re alive in this moment.

“People are always running around trying to make money, lose weight, get cosmetic surgery … and life is really too short. People don’t slow down to see (the positives in life). They need to be happy that they are alive and really live,” she said.

She talks to people in online groups for those with spinal cord and other forms of cancer; through her own Facebook page, “Journey to Live;” and in person on the days she gets out and about, using her wheelchair because her legs can no longer withstand walking.

“Physically, I have struggles, but mentally, I do not,” she said.

A 1999 graduate of Collins-Maxwell High School, Jen was living like many other people do in their early 30s. She had a job at Cycle Force Group in Ames and had purchased a house in Huxley for herself and her son Aiden, who is now 13.

The first sign that something was wrong, she said, was numbness in her left leg, which she’d been feeling for a while, but finally went in six years ago to have it checked.

Medical issues weren’t new to her. She’d already had a hysterectomy because of problems with endometriosis. “I’m just a whole nutcase,” she joked about her medical problems.

After going through neurology tests and finding nothing, Jen’s doctor scheduled an MRI. They were looking for issues in the lumbar spine, Jen said, and the picture area barely caught where the problem was. “My tumor was at the very top of the MRI (scan), in the bottom portion of the thoracic spine.” She went to her car and called her mom. “I said, ‘Mom, I have a tumor.’”

Her mother, Jeanette Tongay, also of Maxwell, was devastated.

Jeanette said her family has a history of cancer. “None of my siblings have lived to see 60. Two of them have died from cancer. My mom died from cancer. It’s been my fear forever (to lose loved ones to the disease),” she admitted.

Spotlight Jen was scheduled for surgery with a neurosurgeon in Des Moines. “If it (the tumor) would have been outside the spinal cord, it would have been removed. But, it turned out to be inside the spinal cord — a pilocytic astrocytoma,” she said. It was stage 1.

She followed that surgery with 25 rounds of radiation.

“Everything was looking good,” she said, but there was nothing else they could do for her in Des Moines, so she went to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., for another opinion. From that point on, Mayo Clinic doctors wanted to monitor her.

There were highs, like a time when she walked through her parents’ door with just a cane. That day was a wonderful one for Jeanette and Jim (Jen’s dad). Jen said even then she could walk, but it didn’t feel quite the same anymore because of the nerve damage in her lower legs. “It felt like I was walking on nubs.”

Every three to six months she had an MRI at Mayo. Things looked good in the fall of 2016.

“I was packing to move to my new home in Huxley in January of 2017 when I felt numbness in my other leg,” she said. She didn’t do anything right away, telling herself it might just be a pinched nerve.

But in April of 2017, an MRI showed that her tumor was growing again. “And we thought the radiation had completed killed Frank (what she named the tumor).”

In May she had surgery at Mayo Clinic, with one of the world’s leading neurosurgeons. “He said he got the majority of (the tumor),” she said. But the surgeon also explained that the tumor had splintered out into the nerves around it. So, there’d be remnants.

During the next six weeks Jen struggled, getting clumsier and falling over a lot. She wasn’t getting better. Within four weeks she was back at Mayo, where an MRI showed “aggressive regrowth” of the tumor. Right away, they did another surgery. And once again, MRIs showed the tumor continued to grow.

For the next year, Jen would do lots of chemotherapy, both oral and intravenous. And over the year, those treatments kept the tumor from growing more. But in the summer of 2018, it was back to growing. Her family moved to a Rochester campground for about a month while Jen did proton beam radiation, followed by more chemo.

By December of 2018, Jen needed a blood transfusion because her red blood cells weren’t rebounding as quickly as needed.

But by the beginning of this year, her condition started to stabilize. “It looked like the bulk of the tumor was shrinking,” Jeanette said. “We were encouraged.”

Then in late-June, an MRI of her brain and neck showed a new tumor in her neck and spots on her brain. The diagnosis: terminal.

Jen, however, hasn’t given up hope at all. “Earlier this year, they gave me a test that looked at the mutations present in my tumor. … It showed that I have two mutations that cause rapid growth.”

She said they started her on something called, IBRANCE chemotherapy, which can target those specific mutations. The biggest problem with IBRANCE for Jen is that it messes with her white blood cells. So even though it is great at fighting her

disease, she has to go off it when her white blood cell count gets too low.

It frustrates her mom. “Because you’re fighting something that is aggressive, but you have to go off that (because of how it affects white blood cell count), even though it shows promise.”

Through all of it and despite her mom’s struggle with emotions, Jen describes herself as calm. “A lot of people say, ‘You must be scared.’ But the truth is, I’m not scared to die. I’m scared to leave my son, though,” she admitted.

She’s doing all she can to prepare for her son’s future, so that if her death comes before he’s an adult, his needs will be handled. And while the prospect of leaving her son behind is her biggest sadness with her cancer, she continues to keep a calm demeanor, often being described as “the adult in the room.”

Jen believes there is an afterlife. “I believe that we move from one plane to another plane, that are basically in a different dimension … I’m spiritual,” she said, and noted that she believes in God more as a “state of mind” than as a being.

Her cancer has wiped her out financially. It caused the loss of her career. She had to sell her home and car, and move back in with her parents. She had to get through a six-month period between her work paycheck and the start of disability income.

And she’s had to watch the disease also impact her parents’ finances, as they help pay for gas and lodging to countless appointments in Rochester.

Still — she isn’t bitter and she isn’t negative. And, she hasn’t given up hope. Perhaps, she said, the IBRANCE treatments will continue to keep her going long enough to see a new breakthrough in treating her type of cancer. Anything’s possible, and that’s her message to others.

On her worst days, physically, she lays in bed and naps a lot.

On her best days, physically, she gets out with friends, smiles and laughs and enjoys life.

And no matter how many days she has left, she will continue to think positively. “I know it’s hard on my family (that she may die),” she said, but she doesn’t want them to be afraid for her. “I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned not to take the small things for granted. I’ve learned to slow down, to think before I speak … and to preach that everything happens for a reason.”

Jen had made plans for two celebrations of life, one for friends and one for family, and she plans to donate her body to science.

T-shirts are being sold to help defray Jen Tongay’s medical expenses, including travel and lodging for her frequent trips to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. Shirts are $20 each. Email jen@journeytolive. net or message her on FB to order. Shirts must be picked up in Maxwell. Contributed photo

FACETS | SEPTEMBER 2019 | 23