Eye-PoppingHobbyANDGETAHUGFROMMOTHERNATUREWHILEYOU’REATIT!BEANIRONMAIDENIdleHandsApprovedIron-OnsA

DON’T BE A TOOL ISSUE NO. 1 SPRING 2009

DO IT YOURSELF

TAXIDERMY Impress Your Friends With An Eye-Popping Hobby

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:

MEET MY DAD:

A DIY GOD

JETTISON UNWANTED STUFF AND GET A HUG FROM MOTHER NATURE WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!

BE AN IRON MAIDEN Idle Hands Approved Iron-Ons $9.95US $11.95CAN

A Chat With A Man Who Builds Tesla Coils For Fun ISSUE NO. 1 | March/April 2009

www.idlehands.com 1

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DON’T BE A TOOL

ISSUE NO. 1 | March/April 2009

HELPING HANDS

The Wrap-Up Iron Maidens

By Steven James

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By Steven Dodds In 1917, the Kansas City-based Hall brothers Most of what envelope we spend on clothes goes to the (founders of Hallmark) reused French label.

Why linings to encase customer gifts.

In pay that extra spirit, to wefollow the herd when offer a few suggestions for youreinventing can followthe us wrap instead?

by Jenny Folsom every time you’ve got something to give.

Broke? You’re not alone. Try out our Ten Friendly Suggestsions for Making your Vacation a Staycation to save some cash.

6 Wish I Were Here 9

The Right Light

by By Suzanne Kantra

Changing your bulbs to conserve energy doesn’t mean you’ll have to give up the right glow

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3 2The Wrap-Up

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By Steven James

In 1917, the Kansas City-based Hall brothers (founders of Hallmark) reused French envelope linings to encase customer gifts.

In that spirit, we offer a few suggestions for reinventing the wrap every time you’ve got something to give.

www.idlehands.com 3

EDITORIAL Editor-in-Chief Elizabeth Bezier Deputy Editor Fred Finklestein Projects Editor Ken Hathaway Associate Editor Jack Edwinson ART & PHOTO Art Director Photo Editor Prop Stylist

Amy Duty Sarah Corring Prudence Smith

PUBLISHING Publisher Grace Hawthorne Ad Director Joe Roberts Online Manager Nabil Samadani Web Designer Damien Scogin

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Do It Yourself Taxidermy

by Brian “The Brain Spoon” Slaughter The first taxidermists were early hunter-gatherers who wrapped skins around clay or rock for use in hunting rituals, but now you can learn and impress your friends!

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Meet My Dad

by Greg Lindsay

A conversation with a living legend of old man tinkering, and publisher of Lindsay books.

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Yes We Can

By MIke Cordoza

Getting rid of stuff in an green way can be a challenge, especially when it’s bulky, of unknown origin, or the type of thing that requires wearing a Hazmat suit to recycle.

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CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joshua M. Bernstein, Heather Baker, Lisa Selin Dais, Anthony Discenzas, Sam Hunt, April Kilcrease, Idle Hands 1600 Peachtree Street Atlanta, GA 30309 tel 770.555.0189 fax 770.555.0190 email info@idlehands.com

I will start by saying that was not my fault. My father, a mechanical engineer and expert in conductivity never told me that things could explosde from internal pressure. He and my mother, a psychologist who dealt with internal pressure of a different sort, had just recently separated. One Saturday night when my mom was out with a new “just a friend,” my sister and I decided that we would do one of our experiments in the kitchen. This time, we’d roast some chestnuts. After setting the chestnuts in the oven, my little sister and I played a game where the principle rulese were to squeal loudly and run in circles. This was meant as incitement for our dog Rosa to chase us, which she happily did.

In the midst of our play, we suddenly heard a huge booming noise. BOOM! We stopped in our tracks. “‘What was that?!” We listened for more, hearts flapping in our chests. Nothing came so we resumed our chase. A minute later another pounding, this one louder, as though something was at the door trying to get in. Clearly we had to arm ourselves. We went to the kitchen and found a big knife and rolling pin. BOOM BOOM! We recoiled in horror. Where was it coming from?!

It sounded so close. Okay, time to call the police. We grabbed the phone, fearing we’d be picked to the bone by hungry fiends by the time the cops arrived, so clutching our weapons and the phone reciever (which had a really long cord so my mom could talk in different rooms), we crept through the kitchen door and closed it behind us. A cop finally came and as we rembled with fear and cold, as he searched the house something staarted to smell of smoke. “Chestnuts!” my sister yelled. The officer rushed intho the room, white-faced saying “what chestnuts?” Then, he saw the smoke and opened the oven door. It was a bad scene. Shells and carnage everywhere. We’d need a new range for sure.

When roasting Chestnuts, be sure to pierce the cap and skin first. If there’s no vent to let out steam, internal pressure builds up and things go nuts. Somoe people learn from their mistakes — ­ I grew up and started a magazine.

Cheers!

Elizabeth Bezier

www.idlehands.com 5

HELPING HANDS

By Jenny Folsom

Back to the Future Remember life before the Internet? Yeah, neither do we. Shut off the info-crack supply for one week and see what happens.

British Invasion A trip to Blighty’s is closer than you think.

Fire up some soccer—erm, football—on the telly and enjoy a delicious, authentic British breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, tomtoes, beans, boiled potatoes, fried bread, black pudding (whatever that is). Hit the local pub for fish and chips and a pint (or three) of lager for lunch, followed by traditional tea and fish paste sandwiches at 3 o’clock.

Factory Made Cover your walls in tin foil and invite your friends (and some creepy hangers-on) over to make art all night, like Andy Warhol did in his Factory days. Be sure to film everything — especially the boring parts — for the true Pop Art experience.

To Infinity and Beyond Get intergalactic in your living room by 6 SPRING 2009

Traditional vacations (in case you can’t recall) are a chance to step outside the steady drumbeat of your days and try things that are new, relaxing, and even a little weird. But, with the dollar slipping overseas and the rising cost of gas making a beer run as costly as chartering a yacht, maybe a “staycation” makes more sense right now. With a little ingenuity—and a healthy suspension of disbelief—you too can enjoy that sense of escape you’re craving right from the comfort of your own hometown.

donning a sweat suit, enjoying a thick glass of Tang, and treating yourself to some astronaut Ice Cream, all the while video-chatting with friends back on planet Earth. If you’re really feeling it, throw on Strauss’s Also sprach Zarathustra to complete the 2001: A Space Odyssey vibe.

Fear and Loathing at home Rent out a hotel room, splurge on your intoxicant of choice, and turn up the volume to “White Rabbit.” You can’t really get back to those hazy days of yore, but with the right types of drugs, almost anything’s possible.

‘Lost’ Weekend Rent the first three seasons of Lost and watch them all in one sitting while eating Dharma Institute–approved foods like cereal and peanut butter.

Get a Brendan You don’t need to travel on the Darjeeling Limited to get your days planned for you. Grab a friend and have him set your daily agenda for the week. Make sure he

surreptitiously drops off your schedules each morning (extra points if they’re laminated).

Show of hands: Who’s ready to start?

Mini Retirement Retire — for a week. Get out of bed at 6 a.m., read the paper, and get so angry you just have to write (by hand) a letter to the editor.

Then shuffle off to the mall for free samples from the food court. 4 p.m. means great early-bird specials, followed by a hand or two of bridge with your cronies, then it’s off to bed by 8:30. Tomorrow’s a big day: Trader Joe’s is having a salsa tasting!

Fanny-pack Attack Why should tourists have all the fun? Walk around your town sloooowly, taking photos and asking for directions at every turn.

Hibernation Vacation Too lazy even for a staycation? Spend the whole week in bed. Sure, it’s pretty decadent, but it beats working, right?

HAND MADE

Iron Maidens

By Steven Dodds

T-Shirts

For an antique look, we like American Apparel’s cream-colored organic cotton shirt line (www. americanapparel.com). Or pick up white tees in bulk, available at sporting goods stores. Once the transfers are printed, use an X-acto knife to trim the unused portion.

Little Sacks

These generic “tea bags” bought at a restaurant supply store are always useful. Besides carrying your stash, they make great wrapping for small gifts like CDs (see Wrap it Up, page 38, for other bright ideas).

Aprons

Aprons of all kinds are available at craft and restaurant-supply stores. Always personalize the image: a recipe for “Teriyaki Chuck Roast” for your friend Chuck. You know.

Mouse Pads

Inexpensive precut blanks are available online.

Use a light-colored pad with transfers made for dark-colored fabric for best results. To cut your own, buy a large sheet of neoprene from a rubber supplier but beware: Neoprene is tricky to slice with a clean edge. Supersharp scissors work best.

Go geeks!

Most of what we spend on clothes goes to the label. Why pay extra to follow the herd when you can follow us instead?

Papermaker Avery’s transfer kits (get 'em at office stores) let you put custom graphics on any cotton or cotton-poly fabric. Kit #3271 has a transparent carrier sheet designed for light fabrics; kit #3279 has an opaque carrier best for bright colors on dark fabrics. The colors look subdued right off the printer, but they become more vivid once they’re ironed.

The transfer process is different for each of the two types, so read the instructions carefully. The real creativity comes in dreaming up your designs. Everything from scanned drawings to digital snapshots will work. If the graphics are small, print several on a sheet.

Remember that text and images will read backward, so reverse them before printing.

We walk you through a few ideas to get you started. All you need is an inkjet and a dream.

Tips for iron-on adventures:

• After ironing the transfers onto your proj-

ect, you might want to outline the picture or design using fabric paint. The fabric paint makes the image stand out, and it seals the transfer to the fabric around the edges to extend the life.

• The reason transfer instructions specify a hard surface (such as formica) is because it holds the heat. Ironing boards tend to disperse the heat and the transfer paper needs to be very hot to work properly.

• Don’t forget to flip or mirror your image.

This is especially critical if you have text in your design. The text should be backwards on screen or on the print out. (Another good reason to print a preview copy first!)

Some programs do this automatically.

The Wrap-Up

By Steven James

In 1917, the Kansas City-based Hall brothers (founders of Hallmark) reused French envelope linings to encase customer gifts. In that spirit, we offer a few suggestions for reinventing the wrap every time you’ve got something to give.

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1. Tabloids Nothing turns heads like a three-headed alien baby fathered by Elvis.

2. Bubble Wrap Paper’s plastic cousin makes its way outside the box. Cover the gift directly so a hint of it shows through and use double-sided tape for a clean seal.

3. Can It No scissors, no tape. Coffee and tea tins, cookie canisters, and unused paint cans offer no-fuss alternatives.

4. Scrabble Board Make a color photocopy of the game board and individual tiles onto sheets of 8½” x 14” paper. Glue on your message using cut-out, copied letter tiles.

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5. Bazooka Joe Blow up Bazooka Joe onto a sheet of 11" x 17" paper — the perfect size to wrap CDs, DVDs, and books.

Tips for wrapping the perfect present:

6. Map Wrap Mailing presents backhome? Prepare them for the cross-country journey with wrap made of recycled maps.

• Seasonal stickers are a fun way to decorate plain gift bags, or tags

7 Sheet Music Piano lessons never quite worked out? Put those clefs and sharps to use.

• Use an inexpensive hole punch to puncture gift tags (to insert a ribbon).

• Craft and stationery stores have blank tags in a variety of shapes. You can also make your own tags in any size or shape using colored paper or cardstock. Scalloped edge scissors will also help create beautiful looking tags.

• Recycled Greeting Cards - Cut off the fronts of beautiful holiday cards and attach them to your gifts using double face tape.

The picture on the card will dress up your gift and add a bit of color and style. Use a simple cording as ribbon.

HELPING HANDS

changing your bulbs to conserve energy doesn’t mean you’ll have to give up the right glow

By Suzanne Kantra

There are two widely available types of bulbs: fluorescent and incandescent. The fluorescent group includes compact fl uorescent light bulbs, or CFLs, the energy savers that have become popular in recent years. The incandescent family, known for its warmth and sparkle, includes the traditional light bulb along with halogen, xenon, and krypton bulbs. The latter three (named for the gases they contain) are better choices than standard bulbs but not as effi cient as CFLs. A note on sizes: Xenon and krypton bulbs are designed mainly to fi t small sockets, such as those found in chandeliers.

Table and Floor Lamps Best bulb: CFL in warm white.

Tips: Consider using a shade lined in a warm color, such as gold. This will help counter the residual coolness of a CFL. A transparent or painted-white glass shade, however, may need the warmth of a halogen bulb.

Reading and Task Lamps Best bulb: A 23-watt CFL (comparable to a traditional 100-watt bulb) in warm white or daylight.

Tips: The high wattage means better light for small tasks. Although daylight CFLs can be harsh in some settings, they’re great for reading lamps. The high contrast makes it easier to see text.

Pendants Best bulb: Depends on the shade and the distance from lamp to surface.

Tips: CFLs are best for casting light over short distances. So if a fi xture is 4 or more feet from the surface it’s illuminating, use a halogen, xenon, or krypton bulb. The latter bulbs are also better for translucent shades.

Sconces Best bulb: Depends on the shade.

Tips: If the shade is warm in tone, try a CFL. The cool cast of a CFL will be unfavorably exaggerated by white or transparent shades and in exposed-bulb settings or around mirrors (skin tones will look sallow). In that case, try a halogen, xenon, or krypton bulb.

Recessed Fixtures Best bulb: CFL in warm white or a halogen.

Tips: If the interior of the fi xture is a metallic color, such as gold, use a warm-white CFL. If the interior is white or black, try a halogen bulb. You may also need a halogen bulb if the ceiling is high -- it has a longer “light throw” than a CFL. Under-Cabinet Lights Best bulb: Depends on the surface being illuminated.

Tips: Pair matte surfaces, such as Formica counters, with a warm-white CFL or an LED strip, which is also energy effi cient. Natural surfaces with depth, such as granite, need a xenon or krypton bulb. (Avoid halogen -- it gets too hot.)

By now, the case for energy efficient light bulbs has been made by many and publicized widely. So there’s no need to repeat it here. Less well-known, even among those who have made the switch, is how to be happy with the light these bulbs emit and the ambience they create. Some people quietly curse the ghastly glow that’s cast by certain compact fl uorescents. Others miss the look of traditional bulbs and fi nd it hard to embrace glass coils. But better and more varied bulbs have become available, and decorative solutions (sometimes simply a good lampshade) can alleviate any harsh effects. Whatever the setting, there’s an energy-saving light bulb that will work.

Accent and Picture Lights Best bulb: Halogen.

Tips: Like traditional bulbs, halogen ones let people see 100 percent of the available colors indoors -- an important quality when illuminating art.

Flush-Mounted Fixtures Best bulb: Depends on the fi xture.

Tips: If the glass housing is a warm color, try a CFL in warm white. But the cool cast of CFLs will be accentuated by white or transparent glass. In those situations, consider a halogen bulb. (When buying any new bulb, always check that it will fi t the housing.)

Chandeliers Best bulb: Halogen, xenon, or krypton.

Tips: The warm, sparkling lighting expected from a chandelier calls for a halogen, xenon, or krypton bulb. www.idlehands.com 9

Anyone who’s ever moved from a larger place into a smaller one knows how difficult it can be to jettison unwanted stuff in an environmentally friendly way, especially when it’s bulky, of unknown origin, or the type of thing that requires wearing a Hazmat suit to recycle. Seeking answers, Idle Hands enlisted the help of Ideal Bite, newsletter devoted to green living, and to make a crib sheet for those with the urge to purge.

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CHEMICALS Medication Largely because of flushed or dumped meds. The Starfish Project (thestarfishproject.org) redistributes certain meds to countries in Africa, while some states, such as Ohio and Wisconsin, run local repostory programs. For expired prescriptions, call your pharmacy to see if it’ll accept them for to be incincerated.

Paint If kicked to the curb, a single gallon of the conventional stuff can seep into the earth and pollute 250,000 gallons of drinking water. Earth 911 (earth911.org) lists local drop-off locations for both reuse (or proper disposal) and can recycling.

A FLASH IN THE CAN

By MIke Cordoza

MATERIALS Plastics Just because there’s a number inside the arrows on the bottom of your yogurt container doesn’t mean it belongs in the recycling bin. Plastics #1 and #2 (detergent and water bottles, and food containers) are accepted by most municipal programs.

Plastics #3, #7 (Styrofoam, shrink wrap, padded envelopes, product display casing, many to-go boxes, and yes, yogurt containers) are more difficult to recycle. If your city’s recycling program doesn’t accept them, try to reuse the items you can’t avoid acquiring in the first place.

Roofing Construction jobs generate 11 million tons of asphalt shingle waste each year. If you’ve recently reroofed, earth911.org has a directory of recyclers who’ll turn old shingles into pavement and new roofing.

Wallboard About 12 percent of new drywall doesn’t survive installation. Luckily, it’s made from gypsum, a mineral that can be recycled into new drywall or used for cement production. Head to earth911.org for drop sites.

Appliances Looking to upgrade your oven or fridge, and need a place to donate your old one? Habitat for Humanity (habitat.org), will pass along your castoffs to a family in need.

Carpet More than 2.5 million tons of rugs are discarded each year. Get a list of recyclers nationwide from Carpet America Recovery Effort (carpetrecovery.org), launched by carpet producers and the EPA, or donate like-new shag to Habitat for Humanity.

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SOME NEAT FACTS ABOUT RECYCLING: • More than 56 percent of the paper consumed in the United States during 2007 was recovered for recycling, an all-time high. This figure equals nearly 360 pounds of paper for each man, woman, and child in America.

• If every American household recycled just one out of every ten HDPE bottles they used, we’d keep 200 million pounds of the plastic • It takes half a barrel of crude oil to produce out of landfills every year. the rubber for just one truck tire.

• Almost four million computer diskettes are thrown away every day, which equals over on and a half billion disks per year or a stack of disks as tall as the Sears Tower in Chicago every 21 seconds. It will take nearly 500 years for the disks to degrade.

ELECTRONICS

In recent studies, more than 80 percent of rivers sampled contained chemicals from birth control pills, antibiotics, and antidepressants

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Batteries Some stores (Ikea, for one) will take your alkalines for proper disposal, but you can actually recycle rechargeable batteries when they reach the end of their long lives (you can use them up to 1,000 times). They do contain hazardous chemicals like cadmium, though, so take them to a specialized drop spot (check rbrc.org for locations).

Cell Phones Rather than sending your old handset to join the more than 500 million mobile phones already in landfills, bring it back to the store where you bought (T-Mobile and Verizon will recycle all brands of used cell phones). If you don’t have access to a store, check out Collective Good collectivegood.com), where you can turn cell donations into cash for your charity.

Computers About three-quarters of obsolete PCs (each with an average weight of 60 lbs.) are sent to landfills. The Cristina Foundation (www.cristina.org) will pick up any old-butworking machine for redistribution to a person who can use it. Trade in newish computers through recycling programs organized by companies like Toshiba (toshiba.eztradein. com) or HP (hp.com/united-states/tradein).

To find local spots to donate dead computers, visit E-cycle (www.eiae.org).

Fax Machines Clear some space in your office by sending and receiving faxes digitally via eFax (efax.com) or MyFax (myfax.com), then list your hulking machine at Throwplace (throwplace.org) and send it donation.

If disposed of improperly, used oil can render fallow a four-acre area of soil for more than 20 years.

APPAREL

MEDIA

AUTOMOTIVE

Clothing Free up some closet space by giving away that big sack of old threads. Donate women’s professional outfits to Dress for Success dressforsuccess.org), a nonprofit that helps disadvantaged women find jobs.

The Salvation Army (salvationarmy.org) will take your tees with open arms. If you want to trade, invite friends over for a frock swap, or haul your garb to a Buffalo Exchange store (givethegiftofsight.org).

Books Tomes gathering dust? Trade them in at your local used bookstore, or drop them at the library. You can also list unwanted volumes on Book Crossing (http://www. bookcrossing.com), a service that alerts users to books left in public places.

Wheels Car tires make up 2 percent of all solid waste in landfills. Retailers like Discount Tire and Goodyear will accept old tires for a few dollars apiece, and most waste management companies offer free collection days.

Shoes More than 16 million pairs of sneakers have been recycled through projects like Nike’s Reuse-a-Shoe, which grinds up wornout soles and converts them to basketball and tennis courts and running tracks. Find out where to drop off your worn-out kicks nike.com.

Computer CDs, DVDs; jewel cases; VHS Recycle these through Act Recycling (http:// www.actrecycling.org), a nonprofit that helps people with disabilities find work.

GreenDisk (http://www.greendisk.com) will take any hardware lying around the office (up to 20 pounds of monitors, cords, mice, and so forth) for $6.95.

Motor Oil If its disposed of improperly, used oil can render fallow a four-acre area of soil for more than 20 years. But recyclers can rerefine it to create lubricating oil. Many auto shops, including Jiffy Lube and Kragen, will take the stuff off your hands.

Paperwork Clear out your filing cabinet by scanning photos and documents. Digitize photos on sites like Flickr (http://www.flickr. com). Check with your local waste management service about photo paper, and recycle all standard-issue stock after digitizing files, records, articles, and any other notes you can’t bear to part with. www.idlehands.com 13

a DIY god

by Greg Lindsay

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EVEN WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I knew my father was not like other fathers. Sure he drank beer and watched the Bears on Sundays, but he also melted metal in our garage on weekends and ran a DIY book publishing company out of our basement. We’d play catch in the backyard when I asked him to, but we’d end up at steam engine fairs instead of Cubs games. While my father certainly enjoyed revisiting the industrial revolution, these excursions had more to do with work. To this day, Lindsay Publications sells a line of technical books that borders on the arcane-turn-of-the-century machine-shop manuals, construction kits for high-voltage electrical coils, schematics for vacuum tube-powered radios (which my father restores as a hobby).

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if he weren’t such a curmudgeon, he could have toed the line in corporate America, and I’d be thinking up ways to spend my IBM-bred trust fund.

While you, dear Idle Hands reader, probably consider yourself a welladjusted individual, my father’s readers are anything but. These were the boys who asked for slide rules for Christmas and got them.

They are 40 and up, avuncular, and career bachelors. (Recognizing this, my father added tip books on dating to the catalog (They sell well).

Dad falls into this demo himself.

When my grandfather died, in his basement we found the ruins of a crude, circa-1962 computer my father built out of telephone switches when he was 16. I like

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to think that if he weren’t such a curmudgeon, he could have toed the line in corporate America, and I’d be thinking up ways to spend my IBM-bred trust fund.

Despite my father’s daily spiel about the creativity and individuality that underlies building stuff, neither my brother nor I inherited the DIY gene.

Instead, by high school I was writing poetry ripped off from T.S. Eliot, and today I write personal essays about my dad. Now, I share with you a recent phone call, less Q&A than the same old monologue. `

I want you to tell them about the lonely, middle-aged men who build Tesla coils for fun. And since that pretty much describes you, too, I want to know how I ended up being an effete writer and not an engineer.

Son: Hello.

It’ s your eldest son.

Father: What do you want?

Son: I’m calling on behalf of a new DIY magazine. I want you to tell them about the lonely, aging men who build Tesla coils for fun. And since that pretty much describes you, too, I want to know how I ended up being an effete writer and not an engineer.

Father: Simple. You create with words to transfer ideas from your head to others.

Artists use paint to put something that is in their heads on canvas. My guys do the same thing, but they are using materials to create machines. You are bound by your ideas, by what’s in your head. These guys are bound by the laws of physics. You create something that entertains people; they create something that drives down the road.

Fifty years ago, you could open a copy of Popular Mechanics and it contained all kinds of articles on how to build things. Today, it’s a picture of some 4x4 to go out and buy.

People who build things are interested in the tangible. The reason they do it is the same reason you like to write. They’re walking in the shoes of the great engineers-Ford, Edison, Westinghouse, James Watt, and Robert Stirling. And bravo for them.

They are among the elite, because they are interested in creation. I joke that this is a society that doesn’t know how to fix its toilet.

These people are scientists; they take the laws of physics and chemistry and create

something. What they are is amateur engineers. And an engineer is a cross between an artist and a scientist.

Son: But why are they so old and so male? Is an interest in steam engines something you grow into? I think the people reading this magazine are just a tad younger than you’re used to.

Father: You’ve got to remember this had a lot to do with wealth. Back when the Boy Mechanics [a compendium of DIY projects for knickerbocker-wearing adolescents were published in the 19 teens, those were actually meant for boys. I don’t think most men could build that stuff now. Those kids didn’t have a daddy to buy them a $1,500 computer. They didn’t have a pot to piss in. They didn’t do anything except play baseball and maybe throw rocks and break windows. That’s why it’s old men who buy my books.

Also, you’ve got to remember that in the early 1920s the hot technology, like the Internet today, was broadcast. Radio was the newest, hottest thing. Because of that, little boys didn’t want to become spies or things like that. They wanted to be ham radio operators. Back then, when the technology exploded, you couldn’t buy a radio-you had to build one. Popular Science was filled with articles on how to build radios and amplifiers and microphones.

That began to change in the 1970s, when electronics became cheap. When that happened everyone could afford to buy, so they stopped building. In 1958, there was no such

thing as direct distance dialing. You had to call an operator to place the call for you, and that was expensive. Being an amateur radio operator allowed you to throw a wire out your radio and talk to people hundreds of miles away for nothing.

Right around 1970, manufacturing advances allowed integrated circuits to be produced cheaply. The glamour was gone. People didn’t want to be in amateur radio anymore. It didn’t stroke their ego. But those who had grown up doing it took pleasure in building these things. That’s why I still do it.

Son: So why did this tinkering gene skip me completely?

Father: I don’t think it did. Remember the huge suitcase full of [Fisher-Price] Constructs?

You were interested in building things with those just like I was with Tinker Toys when I was your age. When you’re a kid, you don’t have the tools or the intellectual capacity. As you got older, you branched into verbal. You used words to express ideas. I drifted away from the physical into mathematics, a subset of physics.

Now, you draw up ideas in your head and use your imagination, and I use mathematics and mathematical models to conjure up circuit boards. If you and I didn’t have that kind of intellect, we would be doing things that are far more physical. I’d be curious as to what kind of intellect sculptors have. But that’s why I kept buying you Constructs like they were going out of style. I always wanted to build bigger and better things.

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we know you want to stuff things­­—we know all too well

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The Art with Many Faces: Taxidermy is the art of collecting, mounting, and preserving animals as they appear in the wild. The term is derived from the ancient Greek taxis, meaning movement, and derma, meaning skin. Loosely translated, then, taxidermy means the movement of skin. The first taxidermists were early hunter-gatherers who wrapped skins around clay or rock for use in hunting rituals.

To the Student You are learning an art that is second only to painting. The only difference is that you don’t need to be born with a boiling in the blood, but can learn throughassiduous study.

“Assiduous” is a seldomly used word; come to know it and you will be able to mount specimens fit for any museum. Whether or not you become a taxidermist depends largely on you. We do our part, and of course, you must do yours. After learning the methodology, the art of taxidermy requires practice. No one expects to become a musician, painter, or author simply by reading a description of how the masters do it. Do not expect too much from your first attempt. It may be a gore fest. Read our lessons closely and reread them before bed. Make up stories about your stuffed creature, about his life of adventure in the dark and secret forest. This story will put you in the mental realm of the true taxidermist.

Treat Your Lessons As Science Read carefully and every sentence will cut like a scalpel. It’s easy to become confused by the maze of Latin words, so do your best to stay focused on your little pet. In time you will see that you are no longer alone—that scientists the world over have come to enjoy cutting things open and having a peek inside.

We present only the essential facts, omitting sentimental details. You must come to accept that the small woodland creature that once had a spry, mischievous way about him is now no more than a lifeless husk. Take heart: The taxidermist is a wild-game conservationist! As a student, you should realize that the following lessons were written exclusively for the purpose of teaching you how to correctly mount natural specimens. We do not attempt to teach you anatomy, zoology, or how to stop thinking about furry creatures in a crude and indecent way.

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Collecting Specimens The first step is to secure a clean specmen.

Collecting a bird, for example, requires that you become familiar with your own neighbohood and locating where the finest can be found. In the woods, fields, and gutters of your town can be found many fowl suiable for your permanent collection. Before collecting a specimen you should obtain as much information about its habits and past relationships as possible. Do not simply go with the first bird you find in the street.

Easily Learned at Home The wonderful thing about taxidermy is that you can learn to do it at home in your spare time. No drudgery of apprenticeship! No dry lectures! No sour professorial breath! You start stuffing with your first lesson.

How Will You Use This Skill?

Are you a sporting type who wants to mount trophies for a personal collection? Will you treat your art as an amusing hobby? Do you intend to become a professional and sell your work? It’s your choice!.

Taxidermy: For Pleasure and Profit

The F.U.N Department in Taxidermy Novelty taxidermy is a sideline to regular wild-game taxidermy.

Perhaps it won’t appeal to you, but thousands of our students, especially the young ones, think that novelty taxidermy can’t be beat for an amusing hobby—and one with tremendous possibilities.

Be Fussy For your first project, select a bird such as a pigeon, crow, or blackbird. Do not use waterfowl such as ducks and geese. They are fatty and have long necks, making them difficult to mount. Only an expert taxidermist should attempt to mount a goose (fetching though they are). Dead pigeons can be found almost anywhere and make excellent specimens.

Do not kill songbirds. That would be wrong.

During hunting season, many wild birds can be legavlly had, but we advise using the common pigeon.

Creations Fascinate Viewers When the Rabbit Violinist shown here was used in a store window display by one of our students, it virtually stopped traffic! Passersby were captivated by this unique and amusing novelty item. The store owner was amazed at its appeal and paid the student a generous fee for the use of the display. Sporting-goods stores, taverns, billiard parlors, drug stores, and barbershops will all want to display your furry little tableau.

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“We preset only the essential facts, omitting sentimental details”

Use Common Specimens Learn to mount common specimens in amusing poses. Rabbits, frogs, squirrels, and baby chicks make excellent subjects for this type of taxidermy. Specimens are preserved and mounted like in regular taxidermy. The student then chooses from hundreds of droll scenarios in which to pose his subjects.

Backgrounds and miniature furniture can be crafted or adapted from children’s toys, dollhouse accessories, and doll clothes. Props can be created out of wood, plastic, or leather for just a few pennies. The only other investment is your time-and you’ll enjoy every minute of that!

More to Learn If you want to learn about the art of taxidermy, there are many choices available to fit any budget. In the not-too-distant past, taxidermy procedures were closely held secrets which could only be learned through long apprenticeships in studios or museums.

Today, there is a wide variety of training available for aspiring taxidermists. The art of taxidermy incorporates many crafts, such as carpentry, woodworking, tanning, molding and casting; but it also requires artistic talent, including the art of sculpture, and painting.

Do Not Be Discouraged Practice, w Skin, skin, skin. Through the art of taxidermy you will come to see how rewarding life in the service of preservation can be.

All varieties of birds and woodland creatures await your Lazarus touch to bring them back from death.

How To Stuff a Bird (Not for Thanksgiving)

Things You’ll Need: Borax, Corn meal, Leg, neck, and wing wire, Pigeon form (any pose), Set of pigeon glass eyes, Water-based clay, Bone scraper, Brain spoon, Cartilage knife, Forceps, Latex gloves, Scalpel (skinning knife), Scissors, Small saw

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Acquire a dead pigeon. Your specimen’s plumage should be intact, not smashed, run over, or damaged `in any way.

Birds should not be skinned while they retain their natural body heat; the blood will flow freely and spoil the plumage. It is best to obtain your specimen several hours before you expect to work on it.

If you are given a bird that you cannot mount immediately, allow it to cool, then wrap it in paper and refrigerate or freeze it. A refrigerated bird will keep for a week.

A taxidermist’s work area should be kept clean and orderly. Cover your work table with paper sprinkled with Borax, and keep an extra supply on hand for when things get messy.

Place a bit of cotton in the mouth, nose, and vent of the specimen.

Separate the feathers along the middle of the breast. This strip of skin is a boon to the taxidermist.

Take a scalpel and make an incision from the middle of the breast to the anterior opening, but not through it!

Work a gloved finger between the skin and the skeleton, then lift the skin.

Now is the time that the corn meal is used. As soon as the flesh is exposed, cover all parts with the meal to absorb any moisture. Use frequently.

Now it’s time to be brave and prove your valor as a bird stuffer.

9. Detach the tail. Hold the base of the tail

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between your thumb and forefinger and bend it back. You should be able to see the roots of the feathers. Use the scissors to cut the tailbone just in front of the quills, being careful not to cut the roots. Pull back the skin along the sides as you cut through the tail flesh. Take your time. A little haste can spoil the whole project.

Cut away the remaining tissue. When you reach the wings, carefully work your fingers around the base of each wing and separate the skin from the body. The wings are set deep. They are what lift a bird into the sky. Sever each wing from its joint. Use the corn meal liberally to absorb any moisture.

As you separate the skin from the skull you will hit some obstructions, including the ears, the eyes, and the beak. Do not remove the skin entirely. Use your tools (the brain spoon!) to empty the skull of its contents, then cut the head away from the body and douse it with Borax. We can’t go into detail about this.

Please don’t insist. We are feeling a little peeked Use a water-based clay to set the glass eyes in the skull, then pull the skin back over the head.

Rearrange the feathers to make them smooth and lovely. Insert a wire through the body and up the neck. You will find that the feathers assume their natural look.

14. Skin the legs. Use your imagination and

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lots of Borax. Insert wire into the legs to give them form.

The wings must be skinned too. Be careful to leave all bones intact. Use Borax. It is not necessary to sew up incisions in the wings. The feathers will cover your handiwork.

Cut away all flesh from the skin and tail using your sharp tools (the fat scraper!).

After the inside of the the skin is free of fat and flesh, give the skin a liberal application of Borax.

Soak the pigeon skin in the Borax solution for two to three hours. The skin should be moved about.

Remove the skin and allow it to dry on a clothesline. How lively it is flapping in the wind!

Mount your pigeon on your form.