Anaverde Magazine Volume II Issue II by Anaverde Magazine

Vol. II Issue II October 2022

Horror Movie Rewind:

The Top 10 Scary Movies to Rewatch for Chills

The Keys to Dating After Divorce

EZ Spooky Halloween Treats What to Pack for Your Fall Camping Trip

The Art of Blended Families and How to Peacefully Merge

Anaverde Magazine | August 2022

The Art of Blended Families OCTOBER

“If the family were a boat, it would be a canoe that makes no progress unless everyone paddles.” - Letty Cottin Pogrebin

Photograph by P. Bednarek

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022

Contents

Vol. II Issue II October 2022

Features 12

Editor’s Picks

Horror Movie Rewind: Why You Should Rewatch These TOP 10 Thrillers

Letters to the Editor

Teaching your children about the realities of race and how to deal with dog poop in your yard

Your Child’s Night Frights

Helpful ways to help your child sleep better at night

Dating After Divorce

How soon is too soon and what to tell your children about this new chapter in your life

Casual Dresses That Never Go Out of Style

Unlock the secrets to finding the right dress for your body type

Crafty Halloween Treats That Are Sure to Please

These tasty treats are fun fun to make and eat

The Art of Blended Families

This month’s feature explores the art of peacefully merging families for the sake of your well-being

What’s in the Cosmos for You?

What to Pack for Your Fall Camping Trip

Take the stress out of packing for your next camping trip with these tips

Anaverde Business Directory

An essential resource for the Anaverde community to find first class products and services

Discover the keyword that will serve as your guide this month

On the Cover:

On this month’s cover, we couldn’t help but to make it festive. Why not opt for the traditional plastic pumpkin tucked in front of a bold, dark background with faux candies wrapped in colorful tissue paper. This is what the Halloween season means to us. A little scary and whimsy intertwined to make us smile. This is the October issue! Photograph by A. Shinagowen

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022

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Letter from the Editor

Divorce, custody battles, raising children as a divorced single parent, coparenting, remarrying, becoming a stepparent and blending your families is not always a walk in the park. The good news is, we are all in this together. Having a community around to remind you that everything that you are going through is natural, it is normal, you are not alone is priceless. This month, I salute blended families everywhere.

As we celebrate the fall season, give yourselves a big cheer for making it this far and setting yourselves up to go even farther as family. You’ve got this! Also this month, we explore divorced parents, who are ready to date.

ello there!

Here we are! October is here! I can’t believe how fast the year has gone by. As I reflect on this year and the beauty of the fall season, I must say that I am glad to be here. Always. With this being the last quarter, it is natural to focus on the upcoming year and what goals we may have in mind. I like to say that you need not EVER wait until January 1 to begin to dream a dream. Whether you want to eat healthier, declutter your home, start a business or simply get more sleep, you can begin that journey now, here during the month of October.

Again, I realize that this topic is a very fragile subject matter. The more educated we are about how to maneuver these times, the better off everyone will be. How do you tell your children that you are ready to see other people? We break it down to make it easier and beneficial for everyone involved. Here’s the deal. As you embark on this new way of life to find what works for you and your family, I hope that you will turn to Anaverde Magazine as a resource. Our hearts are with you as you discover the art of blending your family, gracefully. Happy October!

Malena Jackson

Life is now. It is good to realize the power that you have to positively impact your life. I remember reading somewhere that everyday is a new year, a new beginning. Each day that you wake up, you can begin again.

anaverdemagazine

This month, we decided to take a moment to reflect on those families, who are taking the next step to blend with other families. More now than ever, families are finding that there is a need to get creative and form a family structure that is oftentimes challenging.

anaverdemagazine anaverdemag anaverdemagazine

FOUNDER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Malena Jackson

EDITORIAL

While I don’t know exactly what you are going through on your journey, I chose to use this month’s feature as a way to be a resource and encourage you to keep going. This is your time to reflect, refuel and get back to believing that you and your family can achieve anything that you set your minds to.

PUBLISHER

Anaverde Magazine

Managing Editor: Bailey Arnold Associate Copy Editor: Katie Johnson

DESIGN

Graphics: Rameshwar Chawla Layout & Art Design: Madison Reynolds Layout & Art Design: James Lee Layout & Art Design: Sharlene Adove

ADMINISTRATIVE SUPPORT Karla Medel

ADVERTISING SALES Alexia King Chris Lewis

550 W Rancho Vista Blvd Ste D PMB 1037 Palmdale, CA 93551 661.200.5667 Visit us online anaverdemagazine.com Anaverde Magazine (ISSN 2691-7009) is published monthly for the Anaverde Hills community. Anaverde Magazine is an independently owned and operated publication. Anaverde Magazine is not affiliated with the Anaverde Homeowners Association (HOA). If you have any questions or concerns regarding this publication, please contact us directly by sending an email to hello@anaverdemagazine.com. The advertisements in this magazine are paid for by the advertisers, which allows the magazine to be free to the residents of the Anaverde community. Limit one copy per household. Additional copies may be purchased or downloaded. Visit the website to order additional copies or send an email to hello@anaverdemagazine. com to request additional copies. Unless specifically noted, no advertisers, products or services are endorsed by the magazine. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited. Anaverde Magazine Copyright 2022. All rights reserved.

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022

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Editor s Pick

HORROR MOVIE REWIND:

THE 10

IT FOLLOWS (2014)

MUST WATCH HORROR MOVIES THAT DELIVER TRAIN EVERY TIME YOU TO BUSAN (2016) WATCH THEM!

is the season for all things scary! Maybe it’s just me but the month of October gives me all the feels and being spooked, in a fun way, is one of them. This month, I could not resist the urge to disclose my all time TOP 10 horror movie picks. Chances are, you’ve seen every movie featured here. Let me tell you why these movies are the Cadillacs of horror films, and why it is a good time to hit REWIND and enjoy the thrills all over again.

More than just scary, the story, the subtitles and the chase will have you on the edge of your seat from beginning to end. If you haven’t seen this flick, do yourself a favor and treat yourself. Mind you, this is not for the faint at heart. This movie is gruesome and filled with Zombie behavior.

A QUIET PLACE (2018) At first, I didn’t quite get the concept. All I did know was that if this was a real life situation, just take me away. Me being quiet? Not going to happen. This isn’t living. This movie makes you appreciate the freedom of expression that we all have to make as much noise as we want.

This movie makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. What if something like this could really happen? You sleep with someone and then all of their ghosts come to haunt you. Umm, no thank you! Either way, this film delivers on the thrills and the horror, while giving you a lot to think about.

ALIEN (1979-2017) I highly recommend ALL OF THEM: Alien, Alien 2: On Earth, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus and Alien Covenant in that order. The Alien franchise delivers! I have watched each of these at least a dozen times and everytime is like the first time. This is SciFi at its best.

THE INVISIBLE MAN (2020) At first, I was skeptical, ‘The Invisible Man?’ How is this even possible? This movie is cleverly done. I’ve only watched this movie once and I highly recommend it for a date night in. This movie will leave you glad that you watched, felt the spook and can still sleep at night..

DON’T BREATHE (2016)

Holy Moly! I did not see this coming. The title is so on point because you literally hold your breath while watching this movie. I had to remind myself to breathe. There are so many unexpected moments that make you hide behind the pillow that I had to pause for a moment to regroup.The movie is very entertaining but I have a hard time rewatching this one because it does stress me out.

ANNABELLE: CREATION (2017) The scariest of the scariest. Everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. Get this, the story is so well-written that the message eases the horror of it all. I often say that Annabelle Creation is such a good story that makes the film not as scary. However, you do jump out of your seat a few times but still, it’s a really good story.

THE WITCH (2015)

THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011) The saga continues. This is horror to the MAX! There is a lot going on but it all rounds out in the end and it still leaves you spooked. This movie is perfect!

This was weird before it got scary. It does deliver on the scarey at the :30 minute mark. I only watched it once because it just wasn’t what I’m into. What I found was the horror lies in the loud noises that they placed in the audio. A lot of banging and clanking noises. The title alone makes it perfect for Halloween though.

PET SEMATARY (2019) This one is for lightweight horror movie watchers. If you want a tinge of scary and still be able to sleep at night…this is it. The remake is tasteful. I didn’t miss the original at all. This version made me forget about the original. Overall, the story is really good and the ending made me gasp.

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Letters to the Editor

This is going to sound very callous of me but I am going to say it anyway. Just let it go. I know, I know, what in the world am I talking about? That sounds insane! Yes, it is. Seriously, life is challenging enough, and now to have to deal with tracking down those who are letting their dogs relieve themselves in your yard will prove stressful. I can sense the stress in your tone while reading your letter.

My Yard is a Potty for Dogs Dear Anaverde Magazine, I don’t know how much more I can take. My house is the last house on the street and it seems to be the perfect place for dogs to poop. I’ve done everything that I can to get the word out, even posted it on the Nextdoor app with videos, nothing is happening. I really don’t understand why people would let their dogs poop in my yard and not clean it up. This is ridiculous and it is driving me crazy! What can I do? Please help. Tired of Dogs Pooping in My Yard, Ana K. Dear Ana, I totally understand your frustration with dog owners not picking up after their pets.. This one is a doozy because unless you are on alert 24 hours a day, you can’t really catch the perpetrator.

True, this is not fair to you and it is so disrespectful. I am a believer in whatever you give your energy to depletes your power. Taking the time to create a sign could possibly exacerbate the problem. Some people get off on that type of thing. Take deep breaths and envision your yard free of dog poop. Focus on that. Even if dog poop is in your yard, just focus on your yard being free of it. Then, craft a plan on how you will handle the poop that is there. Will you go and clean it up once a month or will you allow it to naturally go away? Either way works. Whatever you do, stop posting it on Nextdoor, stop talking about it and just let it go. It is out of your hands. Focus your energy on a beautiful yard that is free of dog poop. This is your way of turning the other cheek to gain your sanity back. Life is too long to be running after folks trying to get them to do right by you. Let people do what they do and watch how things shift in your favor.

Race Relations 101 for Small Children Dear Anaverde Magazine, I am a Caucasian female with elementary aged children. I try to keep them from consuming too much information about what’s going on with police violence and racial injustice because I’m not sure how to answer any questions that they may have. Meanwhile, I do feel that it is my responsibility to educate them about the world that they live in. I just want to come from a positive place. This idea is stressing me out. What is the best way to balance the talk about race relations? Feeling confused about race in the news, Kelly Hi Kelly, This is a loaded question. I can feel your concern and dismay. Navigating the news media can be a doozy. Especially when you have small children, who may ask questions. As your children get older, it will become more challenging to control the narrative about race. As an African American woman, I encourage you to have the conversation with your children as the issues come up. If you don’t feel educated enough to speak on the topic, you can go to PBS, The Conscious Kid on Instagram or simply Google ways to have this much needed, yet kid friendly conversation. Did I also mention that each Sunday, Anaverde Magazine publishes a Black History365 post on Instagram? You may want to take a look at the content there. The idea behind this content is to acknowledge Black History all year long. There, we spotlight the

trailblazers, freedom fighters and the abolitionists, who put their lives on the line for equality. You know your children better than anyone. Use this knowledge to gauge how much information you should share with them about the topic. Whatever you do, don’t sugarcoat it. Be real but sensitive. Avoid saying things like, “We don’t see color” or “ We are all the same.” This simply is misleading and doesn’t deliver the knowledge that you want your children to have about race. Lastly, limit the amount of hard news media that you have playing in the home. You get to control the message with presenting the material via the kid friendly resources that I discussed earlier. You got this! Thank you for caring.

Help Me Understand the Angle of This Magazine Dear Anaverde Magazine, I just want to say that the magazine looks great and is really well done. I did take a look at the magazine and wondered why there are so many stories about families in there? Why aren’t you all covering deeper issues that are going on in the world? The articles that I read seem to be very light. What is the angle of this magazine? An Inquiring Mind Wants to Know, Charles M. Dear Charles, I am glad that you have taken the time to read the magazine. That means a lot to me and the team. You raise such a great point about the

content that we curate for Anaverde Magazine.

all of us. With that said, if you have any story ideas, please let me know.

The angle of this publication is to uplift, educate and empower our readers. That means, we don’t share content that is not going to do one or all of those things.

I am open and willing to take your ideas into consideration as long as they uplift, educate and empower our readers.

I worked in the newsroom for over 10 years and I can tell you that there was never any intent to uplift or empower anyone. It was all about the fear factor. What is going to scare you the most to watch or to read? I don’t like to play those kinds of mind games. We have enough going on in our lives. Why not have a publication that is a breath of fresh air…a sweet escape, if you will? There is hard news and scary stories all around us. Anaverde Magazine is a safe haven for the community. I want you to look forward to receiving your magazine each month. In fact, I want you to carry your magazine around and share the good news that you find in the articles. The world moves fast and it is easy to forget that there is so much good going on in the world. You have plenty of other ways to get the heavy news: the local paper, social media, local news, national news and so on. Personally, I don’t want any part of that. How is that going to help you? It is true, we do tend to lean heavily on a family focus. That’s more of my call because I want families to be uplifted, happy and create a healthy environment for their children. This positively impacts the next generation and we are all about that. This is the future and the future affects

Letters to the Editor are for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice and are not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice or counsel of your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let Anaverde Magazine use it in part or in full and we may edit it for length and/or clarity. Need Advice or Have Something to Share? Visit anaverdemagazine.com to submit your Letter to the Editor or send an email to hello@anaverdemagazine.com

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Family

Night Frights

10 Ways to Help a Child with Nightmares Words by Dr. Tom Jackson

hat do you do when your little one has scary dreams? There are two issues to examine when trying to help a child who is suffering from nightmares: What to do during the nightmare or just after the child awakens from one. What to do in the child’s daily life, before and after sleeptime to help keep the bad dreams away. Another way to put it is...there is crisis management and then there is crisis prevention. First, let’s talk about how to manage a child’s nightmare when it occurs.

1. Focus on staying loving and calm, first.

Whatever you do to help your child deal with nightmares, DO NOT ignore his cries in the middle of the night. If you do feel yourself becoming angry, frustrated or impatient with him (for waking you up) take a few moments to breathe deeply and calm yourself before walking into the child’s room. The one thing you don’t want your child to feel at this critical moment is any sort of anger, frustration, impatience or other lack of support from you.

2. Go to your child immediately.

Stay alert to frightened wakings in the middle of the night, which is easiest to do if your bedroom is close to your child’s, but if not, consider installing a baby monitor. As soon as you hear your child waking up frightened (screaming, crying, whimpering, etc.), go to him immediately and reassure him with comforting words, soothing him just as you would if he became frightened by an event during the day. You can employ any number of additional strategies for dealing with your child’s nightmares as they occur.

3. Comfort and calm your child.

Cuddle with your child. Gently stroke his head or back. And listen to your child’s fears with empathy, understanding that his fears are perfectly real, and should not be discounted under any circumstances. If your child wishes to discuss the nightmare, by all means encourage it. Then offer reassurance and comfort until your child has calmed down sufficiently to return to sleep. Keep in mind that if your child is afraid to go back to sleep, this may require your staying in the room until that time comes. If he is very frightened you will need to do whatever is required to help him calm down, possibly by reading a story or enjoying a simple, distracting and –

above all – relaxing activity together. Or perhaps lie down with your child or even let him join you in your bed. You may find it helpful to provide a nightlight in your child’s room, but make sure it isn’t casting scary shadows or you’ll defeat the purpose of it being there.

4. Remind your child that it was only a dream, but don’t expect that to settle the issue.

Remember, however, as you sleepily grope for the right thing to say, telling a very young child, “It’s only a dream,” is unlikely to help since young children don’t yet understand that dreams aren’t real. With children who are at least three or four-years-old, though, it may be helpful to remind them that they were dreaming, although they, too, may still have difficulty understanding the nature of dreams.

5. Empower your child to take charge of their dreams.

Remind your child that he can think comforting thoughts to soothe himself as well. Suggest, for example, that he imagine the nightmare scenario ending in a happy manner. Don’t underestimate this method, for it helps teach your child to conquer his nightmares by actively imagining taking charge of the scene. This activity may also help

him develop confidence, self-esteem and a sense of proactive control over his responses to issues in daily life. As in waking conflict, unpleasant dreamtime scenarios typically include stages of threat and struggle. Whatever methods you follow, look at the nightmares as an opportunity to help your child learn to use the innate tools he has for achieving resolution of his fears and confidence in his ability to face up to the frightening events of his life – both sleeping and waking. Now, how do you prevent future nightmares?

l. Prevention is the best cure.

Prevention is the challenge, but also the best solution. Make bedtime a comfortable and safe experience for the child. Spend time with him at bedtime, reading and otherwise helping him to relax. A soothing bedtime ritual might also include a relaxing bath, a gentle massage, a warm mug of herbal (caffeine-free) tea, or even something as simple as being tucked in with regular hugs and kisses.

2. Discuss your child’s dreams.

If your child experiences frequent nightmares (several a month), you may

want to work with him during the day to try to determine what underlying fears may be causing them and then to try to resolve the trouble on that level. What is the child actually afraid of? Discussing the content of the dreams with the child can help shed insight into this critical question. Once you know what your child is afraid of – whether it’s spiders or the possible death of a parent – you can then focus your attention on that fear, rather than the nightmare. Once the fear precipitating the nightmares goes away, it is entirely possible that the nightmares themselves will as well.

3. Examine your child’s daily routine.

In addition to discussing the content of your child’s bad dreams in an effort to uncover their cause, it may also be worthwhile to review the content of your child’s daily life. Might there be something happening at home or elsewhere in your child’s daily life that could be causing enough distress to possibly lead to bad dreams? Also, monitor the television programs and movies your child watches and the video games your child plays so as to avoid those that might be too scary, violent, or otherwise disturbing.

4. Discuss your child’s daily life.

By age three, your child can begin to talk directly with you about any concerns and worries that could be triggering nightmares; then you can offer reassurance and guidance for dealing with those causes. Allow your child, at any age, to express feelings in appropriate ways. Try to assure your child that his feelings are understandable and normal. It is important to maintain open communication with him by expressing your willingness to discuss any concerns he may have, no matter how difficult or touchy the issue may be. If your child has difficulty expressing either the content of the nightmares or the concerns in waking life that could be causing them, consider exploring these issues in more creative and less explicit ways, for example by drawing or playacting.

5. Speak with a doctor if it seems necessary.

A nightmare disorder occurs when frequent and repeated nightmares continually disrupt a child’s sleep. If the nightmares continue even after you’ve employed measures to end them, it may be helpful to discuss your concern with your child’s doctor.

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HALLOWEEN BAT Treat Bags Craft by Jessie Daye

hese creepy Halloween bat bags are super fun for a kid-friendly Halloween party.

They hang upside down and you can fill them with different treats to serve at your party or hand out at the door to your little trick-ortreaters!

Here’s What You’ll Need: • 4” black paper bags (available at Michaels) • Bat Bag Template or Draw Your Own • Chalk or pencil • Black paper • Scissors • Glue stick • Ribbon

Directions: 1.Using the bat template and either chalk or pencil, trace wing shapes onto black construction paper. 2.Cut out your batty shapes. If your kids are older, this will be something they can do, but if you have little fingers at your craft table, it would be better for mom or dad to do the cutting. Now it’s time to build the bats! Remember that bats hang upside down. 3.Start with your 5 inch black bag with the flat side (not the folded side) facing up. 4.Position the fold at the top and begin gluing on your bat’s eyes, nose, teeth, and toes. 5.Open the bag up. Fold the tabs on the wings and glue just the tab to the side of the bag. 6.Glue the ribbon to the top of the bag and stuff it with treats. 7.For a fabulous display, spray paint twigs and sticks black and arrange them in a festival vase. Hang your batty treat bags from the branches as if they’re hanging in a tree. These treat bags will be a hit!

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Dating After Divorce:

Three Ways To Tell Your Kids You Are Dating Again Words by Rosalind Sedacca

e all know divorce creates havoc in any family’s life, especially

when children are involved. Moving on after divorce can also be challenging. It’s a time to be very gentle, both with yourself as well as with your children. Chances are, you made a considerable emotional investment in your marriage. Having seen that relationship fail can make you insecure about facing new relationships ahead. But if you take the time to go within, learn from your mistakes, understand the lessons from your marriage and determine new ways to approach future relationships, at some point, you will feel ready to step back out into the dating world again. Then you face the challenge of breaking the news to your children. The age of your children will play a big part in how to talk to them about your starting to date. The rapport you

have with them and the closeness within your relationship with them will also play a part in this challenging conversation. Remember, your children are smarter than you think. They can pick up on your emotions and when you’re telling untruths. It’s best, to be honest about your feelings regarding bringing another potential partner into your life. But be very sensitive about their emotions on this topic. Let your children know you’re healing, feeling better about yourself and are now ready to explore meeting new friends. Remind them how much you love them, how important they are in your life, and that dating has nothing to do with replacing them – ever! Explain that you will still be the attentive parent you’ve always been and that they always come first in your life. Be very clear that no one will ever replace their other parent either!

You may need to have this conversation many times over several weeks or months to give your children time to digest the concept and express how they feel about what you are saying. Encourage your children to ask questions and share their opinions. Be patient and understanding of their perspective, even if you don’t agree with it. Don’t introduce your children to every new person you date. You can let them know that you are going out with friends every once in a while, if they ask, but don’t bring causal relationship partners into their world. This can be confusing for children and disappointing for them if the new partner they meet disappears or gets replaced a few weeks or months later. When you do find a partner that you are seriously involved with, prepare the children in advance for the first few meetings. Spend short intervals

together and let the exposure build over time. Ask them for their feedback. Discuss their feelings. Watch how your partner behaves with them. Make sure that your children never feel threatened by the thought that they are losing their mom or dad to a stranger. How you approach adding a new partner into your life will affect your long-term relationship with the children. So be careful, considerate and empathetic in all your actions. Make sure you choose a partner who treats

your children well. Children who have close relationships with both biological parents are more likely to accept a new parent partner into their lives without distress. Because they feel safe in their relationship with mom and dad, they are less likely to be threatened by a new adult entering the picture. When one biological parent disrespects and disparages the other parent, it puts the children on the defensive, making them much more likely to reject a new relationship partner entering the family dynamic.

It is always best to take your time when transitioning into dating after divorce. Move slowly when opening the door to new relationships that will be affecting your children. Putting yourself in their place will give you insight into what it can be like to find mom or dad with a new partner. Talking with a therapist or relationship coach can be quite helpful as you transition into this next phase of your life. To learn more about this topic, visit www.childcentereddivorce.com

Fashion and Beauty

Casual Dresses That Simply Never Go Out of Style

Words by Cathy Habas

t doesn’t take a whole lot to put together a look that you can feel good about. Having a wardrobe that is right for you makes all the difference. When you do finally stop to shop for yourself, it is important to buy clothes that not only make you feel good but that will still look nice for years to come, no matter what happens on the runways.. A capsule collection or investment pieces that stand the test of time is the ultimate wardrobe collection. This month, I want to focus on casual dresses that simply never go out of style. A dress is such an easy piece. No fuss about what top to wear or trousers. A nice dress is a quick and easy way to look put together with little to no effort. Here are a few styles to consider adding to your wardrobe.

The Maxi Dress

The full-length skirt of a maxi dress can be an absolute luxury. A maxi dress lets you enjoy feeling feminine without having to go through all the work to really pull off the look. Do your knees need moisturizing? Probably, but no one has to know! Many maxi dresses have a loose, flowing design that won’t hug your body, so there’s no need to worry about any tummy rolls either. Choose from an endless supply of patterns and colors to find one that speaks to your personality. Then just enjoy the fabric swirling around you, which is perfect for summer and fall months.

The Swing Dress

The Skater Midi Dress

Swing dresses are another basic style that is always a hit. Swing dresses usually have an A line and will often hug the curves from your waist line up, but the fabric of the skirt will billow and flow below your waist. Swing dresses come in all skirt lengths and one with a simple design and modest neckline will never go out of style. This dress is capable of giving you a professional, casual and an elegant look. Just a few small accessory changes to dress it up or down. Super classy and simple.

This dress style will save the day when you need to wear something formal or borderline elegant. It is a basic, classic style that can be dressed up or down based on how you wear your hair, an up-do instantly makes this look like a ball gown, whereas wearing your hair down keeps it casual and the accessories

The Shift Dress

Shift dresses have straight lines that run the full length of the dress, meaning that this style won’t cling to your curves. It is a flowy, comfortable dress that flatters any wearer. If you are tired of wearing jeans all the time and would like to dress up your look, try a shift dress. The design is slimming and you will feel confident no matter your body shape.

The Sweater Dress

Take care of your sweater dresses and they will take care of you for years! Many sweater dresses are body conforming, but for a longer-lasting look, choose a style that is loose. At best, it will remain loose and swishy and fun. At worst, it will edge closer to the body-conforming style of sweater dresses. In both scenarios, you win! A sweater dress often has a short skirt and if you like you can pair it with skinny jeans or leggings to keep yourself extra warm and modest. Who doesn’t love an oversized sweater in chilly weather?

you pair with it. The A-line pleated skirt, which is where the “skater” name comes from, since it mimics the skirts worn by ice skaters, twirls and bounces but does not glue itself to your skin. The skirt also reaches your knees, which is always a good choice for events with a more formal tone. However, it is also casual enough for you to put on and feel like a princess for a day, whether it’s running errands, attending meetings or picking up the kids.

The Bodycon Dress

If you’ve reached a certain point in your life and can still pull off the bodyconforming look, you probably know that you are one of a lucky few! Go rock that style in your daily life. If you’re a little hesitant, try a patterned dress or one that uses layers of fabric to soften the overall look. The knee-length skirt also helps give this body-con dress a more grown-up look. You no longer have to wait until date night or a special occasion to put on a dress. Try some of these casual styles for everyday wear. The right dress is all you need for a little pick-me-up. Wear your look around the house, on a quick trip to the grocery store, school pick up or special event.

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Anaverde Magazine | October 2020

Fashionand andBeauty Beauty Fashion

Skin Rules Expert Secrets for Great Skin by Madison Pados Special Guest Dr. Jaliman Debra Jaliman Words by Madison Padoswith with Special Guest Dr.Debra

hether you are 14 or 40 – we all want great skin! I partnered with natural glow expert and top New York dermatologist Debra Jaliman, MD, to share insider tips and tricks for having flawless skin.

cotton washcloth or disposable cotton pad and a cleanser or with the use of a soft electric brush. Be sure to take certain precautions depending on your skin type. Never over scrub or be too rough. This can aggravate the skin and cause more complications.

applications once a week to maintain color since we are constantly shedding top layer skin cells. Spray on tan mists can be inhaled and have a tendency to go on unevenly. Creams, mousses and lotions are safer and are usually applied with greater success.

“Few people have naturally perfect skin, but whatever skin you were born with can be made to look better, usually a whole lot better. What everybody should aim for is their own best skin, the kind that gets compliments and has a healthy glow,” said Dr. Jaliman.

If you are using a machine and have delicate skin, make sure that you select an appropriate brush. If you have normal or oily skin, use a scrub with fine granules or microspheres once or twice a week.

Use disposable gloves or wash hands immediately after application to avoid the dreaded orange palms.

Over the years, Dr. Jaliman has compiled an extensive list of ‘skin rules’ that are designed to help people navigate beauty aisles in stores and ask the right questions during dermatologist visits. Here are the ones that you should know.

Rule 1: Wash Your Face Correctly.

Your fingers are not enough and will not get your skin really clean. Fingers can’t exfoliate and besides, fingernails harbor bacteria. Instead, use a fresh washcloth, cotton pads or a facial sponge every time you wash your face. Rub gently, don’t scrub, particularly around the nose and on the neck. Cleaning gadgets are highly recommended and can remove more makeup, dirt and oil than manual cleansing.

Rule 2: Exfoliate, Exfoliate, Exfoliate.

Even the best skin in the world will look dull if it is not well exfoliated. You can exfoliate on a daily basis with your

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Toners and pads with alpha hydroxy acids or salicylic acid work well if you are averse to using abrasive scrubs. Don’t grind your face, a toner or pad is meant to be gently wiped once over the face.

Rule 3: For That Real, Tanned Look, Fake It.

Twenty years ago, when the first selftanners made people look like giant pumpkins, it was understandable when people avoided the “fake bake.” But nowadays self-tanners are so good, there’s no excuse for permanently damaging your skin under the sun. Experiment with a few tricks until you get your desired look. Before applying a self-tanner, always exfoliate first in the shower with a washcloth or a nylon mesh sponge. Since self-tanners take a few hours for their darkening effect to mature, pick your shade carefully by choosing a tone that would look like your skin, but with a light tan. Avoid a dramatically different look. It will always appear unnatural. Repeat

Rule 4: Beware Of Bacteria And Steer Clear Of Testers.

I’ve seen a surprising number of patients whose acne failed to improve until they actually started washing their applicators. Keep in mind that bacteria builds up quickly on any surface, particularly one that comes

into contact with your skin. This is especially important to remember with eye applicators. Avoid harmful infections by keeping clean and avoiding germs.

is treatable, it is a recurrent infection and one you will have to live with for the rest of your life.

dose I recommend is 500 mg daily. Add lemon or lime to a cup of green tea to increase its effectiveness.

Wash your make-up brushes and sponges at least once a week. Using baby shampoo is fine. Just make sure to get it all out and let your applicators dry completely.

Rule 5: Drink Green Tea. Lots Of It.

Sometimes it seems that every week scientists discover new benefits to drinking green tea. We now know that it aids weight loss by boosting metabolism, for example, but there is increasing evidence that green tea also has very specific effects on the skin. It is full of polyphenols, antioxidants that appear to prevent skin cancer and protect against free radicals that age the skin. If you haven’t already, introduce green tea into your daily routine.

Green tea is also an antiinflammatory agent. Apply a cooled portion to soothe irritated skin or a mild sunburn. Bottled green tea may taste good, but it doesn’t have the same benefits as freshly brewed tea.

Never, never use another person’s mascara, or even worse, store testers that others have used. At the cosmetics counter, test make-up on your wrist and arm. Don’t even think of using that tester lipstick on your mouth. Better to throw out a new lipstick that turned out to be the wrong shade than risk a herpes infection on your face. I have seen patients with herpes on their lips and eyelids they got from testers and it is not a pretty sight. Although herpes

Green tea is a preventative remedy. Start drinking it at an early age on a daily basis. Four cups of green tea a day is ideal, but standardized green tea supplements work well too. The

I have become such a fan of green tea that I not only drink several cups a day, I also offer it to patients in my practice. One thing I have learned, though: don’t drink green tea (or anything with caffeine) after 5 p.m. if you want a good night’s sleep. That goes for chocolate, too. Debra Jaliman, MD, author of Skin Rules: Trade Secrets from a Top New York Dermatologist, is a board certified dermatologist with a private practice in New York City.

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Anaverde Magazine | October 2020

Anaverde Magazine | August 2022 29

Food Food

Halloween Twiggy Treats: Caramel Apples Words bySugar The Sugar Momas by The Mommas

fter glancing through an old issue of Southern Living, we were inspired by their caramel apples. We decided to let our kids loose in the backyard in search of twigs and this recipe is what we conjured up with some caramel and our imaginations. While your little ones don their costumes, try dressing up some fruit to make these delicious sweet treats for the holiday.

Ingredients: ● 5 medium tart apples (such as Granny Smith or Pippin) ● Assortment of twigs ● Toppings (such as crushed Oreos, graham cracker crumbs, or Heath Bar bits)** ● 1 (11 ounce) package Kraft Premium Caramel Bits ● 2 tablespoons water Directions: Wash, dry, and de-stem the apples. Rinse the twigs under water and set them aside to dry. Line a baking sheet with wax or parchment paper. Place crushed toppings in separate bowls. Place the Caramel Bits and the water in a medium glass bowl (or other microwave-safe dish). Microwave on high for 2 minutes. Remove the bowl from the microwave (being careful not to burn yourself, as it will be hot). Stir the caramel with a wooden spoon until all the bits are melted. Let the caramel sit 1-2 minutes until it is thick enough to coat an apple. You don’t want the caramel to be too runny or the coating will drip off. Gently use a knife to cut a small “X” in the top of an apple where the stem was. Gently push the twig down into the center of the apple. Carefully swirl the apple in the caramel making sure it is completely coated. You may need to spoon the caramel around the top rim. Let the caramel drip off the bottom of the apple. Then roll the apple in the desired topping(s). Once coated, place the apple on the waxed paper to set for a minimum of 30 minutes to one hour (if the kids can wait that long!). Enjoy your twiggy treat or store it in the refrigerator. **Sass it Up: You may also want to use mini chocolate chips, vanilla chips, butterscotch chips, crushed ginger snaps or crushed Nilla Wafers on your apples. Use whatever tickles your fancy.

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022 31

Simple Pumpkin Pulp Recipes T

he smell of roasting pumpkin seeds is the second best part of carving Jack o’ Lanterns for Halloween…the first best thing is, of course, carving funny faces into a pumpkin. While you probably have a family recipe for turning your pumpkin’s guts into a tasty treat, we have a few new ideas for you to test out. You might even start a new Halloween tradition recipe!

Recipes by Laura Scalone by Laura Scalone

Two-Ingredient Pumpkin Muffins Pumpkin Seed Brittle

Homemade Pumpkin Puree

Ingredients: ● Pumpkin seeds ● 1 cup granulated sugar ● Pumpkin Pie Spice ● Salt

Ingredients: ● Pumpkin guts ● Lemon juice

Directions: After letting the seeds dry in the oven at 250 for 4 hours with a light sprinkle of salt, boil 1 cup of sugar with a pinch of salt and a healthy sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice. On a cookie sheet covered with wax paper, evenly spread out the seeds. Then, drizzle the warm syrup over the pan so it covers all the seeds. Once it cools, it’ll be good and hard. Crack it up into bite sized chunks, and enjoy!

Directions: With the seeds sorted from the gooey pumpkin meat, you have the beginnings of a great pumpkin puree. None of that canned puree for you! Steam the innards over boiling water for 30 minutes. Using a food processor and a healthy squeeze of lemon juice, create a puree. The lemon juice prevents freezer burn, so you can keep it longer. This puree can be used for all sorts of fabulous breads, pies, shakes, soups, etc. You can even serve the puree as a side dish with brown sugar and pumpkin pie spice. Mmm!

Ingredients: ● 1 box of Duncan Hines Spice Cake ● 15 oz. pureed pumpkin Directions: Preheat the oven to 350. Mix these two ingredients together. Spoon batter into muffin cups and bake for 20 to 25 minutes. This recipe yields 18 to 24 muffins depending on how much you spoon into each cup. For a special treat, “frost” the muffins with a smidge of whipped cream cheese. Yummy!

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022 33

Food

Six Simple Food Tricks To Beat The Winter Blues Words by Lyssie Lakatos and Tammy Lakatos Shames all has just begun but it won’t be long before those Southern California winter months are in effect.

Do you feel a little bummed out in the winter? Most of us definitely favor the warm, sunny summer months and in the winter we tend to feel less happy. It turns out, there’s actually a reason why! When we’re exposed to sunlight our brains produce endorphins, our body’s feel good chemicals. In the winter time, with less sun, we make fewer endorphins and tend to be less content. Plus, let’s face it, it’s cold outside, there’s less daylight and we feel cooped up and bummed out. Good news! There are foods that will

pick you up from that winter slump. It’s all about being strategic. Here are 5 mood boosting tricks that will keep you happy even in the frigid winter days! Mood Boosting Trick #1: Include mood-boosting carbohydrates throughout your day. Eat food that will naturally change your brain chemistry: Oatmeal at breakfast, whole wheat bread or a baked potato at lunch or dinner…Baked Potatoes are one of the best foods for creating your body’s feel good chemical, serotonin. It will kick serotonin into high gear. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that combats pain, decreases appetite, and produces calm or sleep. A baked Potato is actually a triple bonus food since it’s also a good source of vitamin C, a vitamin that helps with serotonin

production. (Bonus: it may also ward off winter colds since it has 45% of the Daily Value of vitamin C.) Plus, it’s a good source of potassium which may help to fight anxiety and also lowers blood pressure. Note: Keep your portions in check. One slice of whole wheat bread, ½ cup of cooked oatmeal or a 5.3 ounce potato all are roughly 100 calories. Mood Boosting Trick #2: Be sure to get Vitamin D in your day Research has shown that people who are low in vitamin D have higher rates of depression. In the summer you can simply take a walk in the morning sun. The sun’s rays are converted to Vitamin D in the body. But if you live anywhere North of Atlanta, this won’t work in the

soups, stir fries and casseroles. (We have a love affair with mushrooms and add them to everything that we eat, or we eat them on their own!) Eggs— The yolk contains Vitamin D. Vitamin D fortified string cheese or yogurt makes a great snack. Glass of skim milk with breakfast or for afternoon snack. Milk is fortified with Vitamin D BONUS COMBINATION: Have mood boosting oatmeal and eggs with mushrooms for breakfast. The protein from the eggs will cause slower digestion and extend the uplifting benefits of the feel good chemicals from oatmeal. You’ll get the Vitamin D from the mushrooms and from the eggs and the serotonin boost! winter. Good options to get Vitamin D: Mushrooms! All mushrooms contain vitamin D and they’re the only plant food that contains Vitamin D and one of the few non-fortified sources. Some of the light-exposed mushrooms can provide 100% of the DV for vitamin D. So add them to your salads, your omelets, your

Mood Boosting Trick #3: Be sure to get enough Vitamin C. Vitamin C is needed to make serotonin from foods that contain tryptophan. Think of fruits like pomegranates, oranges, lemons, limes and kiwis. These fruits are rich in vitamin C, which in addition, research has shown may help lower blood pressure and other

physiological reactions during stressful situations. For a mood boosting meal, have oatmeal (for serotonin), with skim milk (for vitamin D) with pomegranate arils in it (for vitamin C). This is the ultimate “Happy Meal!” Mood Boosting Trick #4: Drink tea throughout the day. Green, black, white and oolong teas have half the caffeine (so they lack the jittery, anxiety side-effects) of coffee but offer the same comforting warmth. Additionally, aside from being packed with disease fighting antioxidants, tea contains the amino acid theanine which creates a mental alertness, yet calmness which helps to beat stress and relax you, boosting mood. Mood Boosting Trick #5: Aim to get probiotics. Research shows that aside from keeping your digestive tract on track, probiotics can help to boost mood too. You can get some probiotics from yogurt, but you have to make sure you buy one that has live and active cultures in it (it will say on the label). You can also take a supplement.

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022 35

Home Design

bruised from handling and traveling. When hand-picking a pumpkin, bring gloves and clippers. Leave at least one inch of stem on pumpkins. • When buying pre-picked pumpkins, look for a stem that’s solidly attached. Green stems reveal a pumpkin that’s just been picked. • Inspect pumpkins for skin damage (punctures, nicks, cuts), soft spots or mold – signs that spoiling will occur quickly. • Check the bottom of the pumpkin during your spot inspection, pressing on it with your thumbs. If it gives a little, the pumpkin isn’t fresh. • Set a pumpkin you plan to carve on a flat surface to be sure it sits upright. • Old pumpkins have duller skin. This is fine for a cooking pumpkin, but not ideal for carving or display.

How to Choose the

Perfect Pumpkin for Your Fall Decorations Words by Anaverde Magazine

he best part about October is the crisp, fall weather, even in the Antelope Valley, usually after 5 p.m. It is also a treat to visit the local grocery store or pumpkin patch to choose the perfect pumpkin for carving. No matter your fall passion, carving, creating harvest displays or cooking, there’s a perfect pumpkin for the job. There is a method in selecting the best gourd for your fall decorating plans. For the best selection and the most fun, visit a local farm to pick your pumpkin. Selecting pumpkins can easily become a family tradition when you find a farm that teams pumpkin fields with other autumn favorites, such as a corn maze and hayrides. Typically, going to an actual pumpkin farm offers more variety and often better quality. Before you pick a pumpkin, decide how you’ll use it. For carving, look for pumpkins with flat walls – no deep ribs. The variety of Jack O’ Lanterns was developed specifically for carving. Avoid tall, oblong pumpkins,

which typically have stringy flesh that makes placing precise cuts difficult. White-skinned, orange-fleshed Lumina is also easy to carve. If you are choosing a pumpkin for cooking, choose pumpkins specified for cooking or baking. These are usually smaller fruits (4-8 pounds) with higher sugar content and denser, more smooth flesh. Common varieties include Small Sugar and New England Pie Pumpkin. Look for newcomers Baby Pam, Ghost Rider and Lumina (white skin). For seasonal display pumpkins, select a mix of pumpkin sizes and colors. Goosebumps have warty skin that adds a creepy effect to displays. Small pumpkins like Baby Bear (orange), Baby Boo (white) and Orange Cutie (bright orange with light orange ribs) complement larger fruit and are the perfect choice for small hands.

Pumpkin-Picking Checklist • U-pick farms provide the freshest choice. Supermarket pumpkins can be

• If you plan to carve, choose a design before choosing a pumpkin, especially if you are using stencils. Find a pumpkin shape that suits your design.

Storing and Displaying Your Pumpkin

• Never lift a pumpkin by its stem. Once it breaks and falls off, it creates a wound that allows spoiling to occur. • Bring pumpkins indoors if frost is predicted. Cold weather damages pumpkins. • For indoor displays, protect surfaces by placing pumpkins on plastic, a platter or other impervious surface. • To preserve carved pumpkins, spray all surfaces with a pumpkin preservative or soak the carved pumpkin in a bleach solution one teaspoon of bleach per one gallon of water for eight hours. Before display, invert treated pumpkins to allow any liquid residue to drain. Disposing your pumpkin is just as important as choosing it. Once your pumpkin turns to mush, toss it on your compost pile. Chopping up the pumpkin and burying it in the pile speeds decomposition. Alternatively, bury pieces in a fallow garden area. In warm regions, bury pieces in gardens near growing plants, taking care not to disturb roots. Cheers to pumpkin season!

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022 37

HomeDesign Design Home

How to

Draw the Odor Out of a Closet Words by Claire Siemsen

by Claire Siemsen

losed closets can be hosting a variety of strange, musty smells when you finally open the doors. This is especially true in a room belonging to a child. Remind the family that dirty clothing should be tossed into the laundry bin instead of being shoved into the closet. Cleaning the closet, airing out the clothes and removing shoes with offensive odors can go a long way toward removing the odors.

Masking Odors

You might not always have the time to try out these great tips and tricks from this article. In that case you will have to mask the odors. Usually, dryer sheets hidden in the closet can mask any unpleasant odors for the short term. You might use a cotton ball soaked in a little vanilla or use a bit of potpourri in the closet until you can get in there to clean.

Vinegar

Vinegar doesn’t have the best smell on its own but it is an amazing agent to soak up and neutralize weird odors in the closet. Fill a cup or bowl with

white vinegar. If you have apple cider on hand, that will work too. Leave it on the floor of the closet overnight. Remove it in the morning and allow the closet doors to stand open for a few hours. The smell should be gone.

offending shoes to remove the odor. Leave the baking soda in the carpet for a bit before vacuuming. This method can be used long-term. Change the baking soda box every few months.

Coffee Grounds

Activated Charcoal

A great way to rid yourself of unpleasant odors in a closed space like a closet is to use fresh, unbrewed coffee in a bowl on the closet floor. Leave a bowl of grounds on the floor overnight. This works great for smoky clothes that have left a lingering odor. The coffee grounds will absorb the odor but they cannot be left in the closet indefinitely.

Baking Soda

This is one of the most well-known methods for removing offending odors in small spaces. You likely have some baking soda in your refrigerator since it works so well getting rid of smells. The box of baking soda should be placed on a shelf in the closet because it works best when air is circulating around it. You can also sprinkle some on the carpet or inside

While this is one of the most expensive methods on this list, it is also the most effective. Activated charcoal is made from regular charcoal, which is highly porous and is used for a variety of ways to remove odors as well as contaminants. Charcoal is used in filters and air masks because it is so porous. It needs air flowing through it to work properly, so try to add it in a way that allows for air movement. You can purchase activated charcoal from your local pet store. Lastly, it is important to keep your closet nice and tidy. Vacuum, declutter and dust regularly to ensure that the closet is not filled with items that will result in or contribute to the odors that we work so hard to get rid of.

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022 39

Home Design

How to Repair Scratches in Glass Tabletops Words by Sheira Silvera by Sherie Silvera

lass tabletops are gorgeous, yet you quickly discover that even simple actions such as putting a cup of tea on top of it create unsightly scratches. Whether you have obvious marks created by your kitten’s paws, or your kids can’t seem to stop sliding their toys across the coffee top, it is a relief to know that most scratches in glass are repairable with a little effort and know-how. Before you start, make sure that the scratches are all superficial since a professional repair is necessary for deep gouges. Then, set to work using one of these three strategies that help to erase those hazy marks.

Polish It Out With Toothpaste

The same gentle abrasive qualities that allow your toothpaste to remove

46 40

surface stains on your teeth also makes it perfect for polishing out scratches in your glass. Start by cleaning your glass with your usual cleaner and a lint-free cloth. Next, dab a small amount of toothpaste on the scratch before using a damp washcloth to rub it across the surface. Use gentle movements to avoid causing more scratches. The toothpaste will gently polish away the scratches. Once you are satisfied, use a clean cloth or sponge to wash away the toothpaste, and clean the glass again for the finishing touch.

Rub Scratches Gone With Jeweler’s Rouge

No, this isn’t a special type of makeup designed for jewelry. Jeweler’s Rouge is a compound that professionals use to remove those little nicks and

scratches that accumulate on gold and silver due to normal wear and tear. With glass, jeweler’s rouge does the same thing by smoothing out surface scratches, and it can be found just about anywhere that jewelry is sold or online. To use it, clean your glass thoroughly. Then, apply the rouge to the glass using a lint-free cloth and rub it in. It may be necessary to apply more jeweler’s rouge as you go depending upon the severity of the scratches. When the marks are gone, simply wipe away the excess jeweler’s rouge and clean the glass with your favorite product.

Fill It In With Clear Nail Polish This technique works best on those scratches that are slightly too deep for paste or rouge to work but not bad enough to call in the

professionals. As always, clean the glass first so that you avoid trapping dirt or dust with the polish. A clean surface also makes it easier for you to get the nail polish to adhere to the crack. Begin your repair by opening the nail polish, and use the side of the bottle to wipe the excess polish off of the brush just like you would before doing your nails. Then, brush the clear nail polish along the scratch, and try to avoid getting excess along the edges. If you do get any outside of the scratch, use a cotton swab dipped in nail polish remover to clean it up. Allow the nail polish repairs to dry overnight, and use glass cleaner in the morning so that it looks as good as new. Knowing how to repair scratches in glass tabletops lets you extend the use of one of your favorite household objects. Since you know that minor scratches are bound to happen when you eat, do homework and play games at the table, remember these tips and never fret over an errant glass scratch again.

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Home Design Seven Ways to

Get Organized Before the Holidays

Words by Linda Sovich

all is a great time of the year to get organized for the holidays, before everything gets too hectic. The following fall organizing tips from the experts at Major Mom are sure to help get you started on the right track for the upcoming holiday season. 1. Start with the entrance closet by replacing the pool bag, flip flops and windbreakers with coats, hats and winter boots. If you left the winter clothes in the closet all summer then it is a good time to purge what no longer fits or makes you feel good when you wear it. 2. It is time to change all the beds in the house with flannel sheets and extra blankets. This is also a good time to purge all the linens you did not use over the summer. 3. Replace the summer clothes with the winter clothes. Depending on the space in your home, you can remove the summer clothes and transfer to another closet in the home that is not used frequently or if space is limited use canvas box organizers to replace summer clothes with winter. You can put these boxes on the floor or on a shelf above.

4. Replace your air filters so that your heating unit will work properly throughout the winter months. 5. Place the pool and water play toys, garden tools, etc up high to make room for the winter gear and snowboards. Use hooks and shelving to organize your garage. That is the key, no point in throwing everything in the garage. Take the time to put everything properly in its place. 6. Have a service come in and blow out your sprinklers so your pipes don’t burst during the winter. 7. Time to put a scraper, hand warmers, mittens and a hat in your car trunk just in case we get a nice layer of snowfall this year. There. These are easy tasks that do not take a lot of time and will make a world of difference when the winter months come rolling into the Antelope Valley. Now is a great time to get organized and eliminate unnecessary stress during the holiday season.

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Lifestyle

The Art of

Blended Families Words by Jennifer Zelman

with two little pieces of luggage: his daughter Jane and his son Jack. Not surprisingly, when I got this information, my instinct was to run for the hills.

This mindset did not set me up to have a good relationship with my stepmother. At best, she was a cool older sister figure that occasionally showed me something interesting, like how to apply eyeshadow. Otherwise, I never really warmed up to her, even though she was with my father for almost ten years. I always got the vibe that she was only looking out for herself and merely put up with my sisters and I, rather than regard us as daughters.

Luckily, my stepkids are amazing and were so loving toward me from the start. That is a huge reason why I can proudly report that we have a very happy and close knit blended family. However, I have to give myself a little credit and admit that I also played quite the role in getting the family to the level of closeness it is at today.

s a child, all I wanted to do was fit in. Having parents that divorced when I was in the fourth grade did not help that ambition. My dream of belonging was further crushed when my dad remarried his secretary. Now, not only did I not fit in with my friends who all seemed to have perfect, “traditional” families, I was now part of a lame cliché. I was not a happy camper.

On the surface, anyone would say she was perfectly nice to us. However, the feeling in the household, which is so much more important, was never sincere. And sadly, that lack of sincerity made me feel disconnected from my family, especially from my dad. According to the Stepfamily Foundation, the majority of families have shifted from the original biologically bonded mother, father and child. We are now a nation in which the majority of families are divorced. Coming from a childhood with a not so pleasant stepparent experience, one would think that I would avoid such a family structure in my adult life. Nope. The cycle has continued and I have somehow found myself in another blended family. But this time, I am the stepparent. Soon after I met my husband, I learned that he came

Unfortunately, and fortunately, my husband was so darn smooth that he convinced me to stick around and “see where it goes”. Well where it went was straight to the altar. We were soon married and I was now officially a stepmother.

Having had a negative experience with a stepparent made me approach step parenthood with a level of empathy and strategy only someone with personal experience could have. I know firsthand that there is an art to blending families. “The children of divorce tended to do well if mothers and fathers, regardless of remarriage, resumed parenting roles, putting differences aside, and allowing the children continuing relationships with both parents,” explains Dr. Judith Wallerstien, a psychologist and author of Second Chances and the Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study. I was always a straight A student growing up and I approached step motherhood with the same mentality. I was determined to earn an A+ in step parenting. So, I did my research like any good student. I read a few articles and even a book or two about

stepparenting properly. I found that the most common problems of blended families are: Children have a difficult time sharing their parents Identity confusion Mixed feelings about a stepparent Territorial infringement Feeble family bongs Feeling torn between two homes This information is a valuable resource but I must say, my most valuable insights came from reflecting upon my personal experience with my stepparent. I realized that my stepmom never really communicated with us on a deep level and she also never put us first. I think her failure to do these things put a huge damper on our relationship and I was not going to repeat history. Therefore, from day one, I vowed to have open, honest communication in our household on a regular basis. No skirting around issues, no holding it in. In the beginning I would tell my stepkids some feelings I used to experience with my own stepmother, which would open the conversation for how they feel about me. Obviously, the conversations have gotten more frequent and deeper over time, they weren’t open books from day one. But the point is, I have made communication part of our family culture because I remember having so many questions and concerns as a child regarding my step family, and I never had the opportunity to share. Additionally, my step mom always seemed to put herself first. She always picked what restaurants we would go to, what movie we would watch, where we would spend our free time and so on. These seem like trivial details, but to a kid, those sorts of choices are huge! In my family, I have learned to hold my tongue in these situations, and let the kids make a lot of these choices so they feel first. Because they are! Of course, if I feel strongly about one of these decisions I discuss it with my husband beforehand but for the most part, I have realized that these small sacrifices can make a huge difference. I cannot stress enough that if the kids aren’t happy, you and your husband have no shot at being happy. I hope that with every day I improve as a stepmother, wife and person. And there is no better way to improve than through reflecting on your own experiences and growing from them.

Anaverde AnaverdeMagazine Magazine| October | August 2022 45

Anaverde Magazine | October 2022 47

Lifestyle

What Does It Mean When Your Partner Curses At You? by Sherie Silvera Words by Sherie Silvera

wearing might have a proper time and place, but it can certainly be a red flag in a relationship. Here’s what it means when your partner curses at you.

Automatic Swearing

Did you know that swearing can actually be produced in two different parts of the brain? It’s true! When someone swears out of sudden frustration, the profanity is usually produced in the part of the brain that controls basic body functions. Like breathing or blinking, this type of profanity is produced without thought. If your partner constantly swears out of frustration, it might just mean he has a bad habit. However, if the profanity comes up in normal conversation and is couched in sentences directed at you, the swearing is intentional and you may have a problem.

Childish Frustration

Understanding that some folks thoughtlessly swear when frustrated, you should stop and think about why your partner might feel frustrated around you. Many times, this is a mark of an immature person. A relationship requires both people to give a little and sacrifice a little. If your partner can’t seem to give a little without launching into a swearing session, it may be time to find someone more mature.

Word Poverty

If your partner constantly swears, it may have nothing to do with you. Intuitively, people understand profanity to be a way to intensify a statement. Now and again, this may be effective. It may also be funny. However, if your partner only seems to be able to liven up his sentences by

tossing in profanity, it means he has a serious lack of vocabulary words at his disposal. He is like a chef who only knows how to pour chili pepper over every dish. If you wouldn’t tolerate a restaurant that employed a chef like that, why would you tolerate a partner that is the verbal equivalent of such a chef?

A Lack Of Intimacy

Some men swear around their friends all of the time. They might even view this kind of language as a type of bonding activity. If your partner swears like this in front of you, he may simply view you as one of the guys. Unfortunately, this may mean he isn’t interested in having a serious, loving, and intimate relationship. If your partner just wants to treat you like one of the guys, it might be time to have a serious relationship talk.

A Lack Of Respect

At the end of the day, a person who constantly swears directly at his partner isn’t being respectful. This is especially true if you have repeatedly asked your partner to stop. It shows that your partner is either oblivious to the pain he is causing you by his language or he simply doesn’t care. Either way, this is someone you probably don’t want in your life. Remember, if your partner can manage to speak to his superiors at work without resorting to crude language, he can certainly manage to do the same around you. Constant swearing in a partnership is usually a sign of trouble. Use the above guidelines to take inventory of your relationship with your partner. If the swearing continues after you do this, don’t be afraid to back out of the relationship. You deserve a partner who doesn’t resort to such language.

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Travel

TSA TIPS: What Goes In The Bins Words by Anaverde Magazine

f you travel by air, then you already know the high level of aggravation that is usually experienced at the airport. Everything from getting through heavy traffic just to get to the airport to checking your luggage and hoping that you did not exceed the weight restriction for your luggage. Now, it’s time to face the long, dreaded line at the TSA. Usually the agents are yelling at passengers about what to put in the bins, what items go in the bins together and so on. If all of that yelling and bossing around makes you a little nervous, take a look at this quick guide on how to navigate the TSA bins with ease. • Drink your water and/or liquides! If you realize there’s some left in that bottle last-minute, hydrate immediately before getting it taken away completely. You can refill once inside. • Have your passport/ID and ticket ready using a handy travel wallet. Properly packing your passport and boarding passes is an often overlooked part of quickly navigating airport

security, but the security guards and passengers behind you will appreciate it and you’ll get through faster. • Personal item and carry-on bag? Technically, these two items don’t need a bin. Set both straight on the conveyor belt. • Now, do a body scan from head to toe. Sunglasses, jacket, belt, keys, phone, shoes—all go into a bin. • Pull out that previously organized bag with your travel size liquids and throw that on top. • Laptop—YES, this gets its own bin and you should have this easily accessible in a laptop bag with easy external zipper pocket access. Lastly, wait for your items to go through the conveyor belt before walking all the way through security. This is generally required and communicated, unless you are told to move on. Remember, every airport operates differently. Just be as mentally and physically prepared as you can and give yourself enough time to successfully navigate through the

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Travel

What to Pack for a WEEKEND CAMPING TRIP Words by Tiffany Silverberg

amping is a great family activity — giving everyone an appreciation for nature and providing the perfect venue for lifelong memories. A weekend camping trip can be a real treat. However, this fantasy adventure can quickly become a nightmare if you did not prepare properly. Pack everything you might need for your weekend getaway. This will help you avoid later panic and wishing that you just stayed at home. Spur of the moment trips are exciting but when there are children involved or more than two people, you will need ample time to plan the weekend getaway. Give yourself at least one week in advance. Make a list of the weekend’s activities and all the items you might need. If there are specific activities you plan to participate in, pack those items first. These might include tackle boxes or fishing poles. Toys, such as footballs, board games, bikes, helmets and skates. Set out a backpack for each camper. Set out clothes for each day, including underwear. Also pick out an extra full outfit, in case one gets dirty. Roll these into plastic bags and place them in the backpacks. Wind a roll of clothesline and place it in one backpack. You can hang the clothes lines at the campsite for drying wet clothes. Write down, on your list, a meal you will eat each day. Pack a cooler with perishable and shelf-stable foods

for each meal. If you are planning to take meat, freeze your meat ahead of time and place it in the cooler with ice so that it keeps until it is ready to be cooked. Even if you plan to catch fish to eat, pack some other food to eat, just in case the fish aren’t biting.

first-aid kit, including any prescription drugs. Cell phones, cash and quarters for the shower and battery operated radios are useful in case of inclement or dangerous weather or breakdowns. Throw in some ponchos, hats and sunscreen.

Check your camping spot’s policy on fires. Pack a Bunsen burner if you can’t have a bonfire. Place matches in a plastic bag so they don’t get wet. Pack a manual can opener, seasonings, aluminum foil, a cutting board or anything else you might need to prepare food. Also bring a small container of dish detergent to wash your dishes with.

Remember, a weekend getaway is only three days and two nights, there is no need to overdo the packing. Follow these simple tips and you should have everything that you need for a perfect fall camping weekend. The good thing is, when you go with other families or friends, you can always borrow what you need. Just have fun and make some memories. Happy trails!

Pack a sleeping bag and pillow for everyone. Make sure there is a spot in the tent for everyone. Pack the tents, tarp to place on the ground before you build your tent, the stakes and a mallet to secure them. Purchase a big can of bug spray, mainly for ants and spiders to spray around the outside of the tent. It is also a good idea to bring a broom and a nice outdoor rug to keep your tent nice and tidy. Lastly, keep an open mind but always prepare for the worst. Pack a

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ACROSS-----------� 1) Place known for 40) Isles, to a Brit 41) Camp beds development 42) Tootsie Pop portions 5) It usually has busy hands 43) Republicans, briefly 9) Raised, as a bet 44) Verb for Shakespeare 14) Diaper cream ingredient 15) Move through a kiddie pool 45) It's slung in campaigns 46) Pork purchase 16) Hang in folds 17) Object of devotion 48) Breakfast meat 49) Jetted bath, e.g. 18) Wide-mouthed pitcher 52) Three things started by half 19) Day of old Hollywood 20) Three things started by half 57) Card-game expert Edmond 58) Go on the warpath, verbally 23) Small prop in the grass 24) "Ciao, Brutus" 59) Morsel for Miss Muffet 25) A god of war 60) Two-tone cookies 26) Before, in romantic poetry 61) The munchies, for one 27) Bests 62) "Anyone_?" 29) Investment for the golden 63) Neglected to 64) Made a right turn on years horseback 32) Brown ermine 65) "Call of the Wild" vehicle 35) South American country 36) Straddling 37) Three things started by half

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Anaverde Magazine | Octobert 2022 61

Business Directory Are you new to the area or simply in need of local services? Take a look at our Business Directory. Many of the businesses that are listed offer incentives for our readers. Be sure to tell them that Anaverde Magazine sent you. BEAUTY & SPA SERVICES

CHILDCARE

DERMATOLOGY

Boss Braids

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You will leave feeling like a boss with our luxurious braid services. We are conveniently located inside of The Antelope Valley Mall.

Cosmo Nails and Spa

Let us take your beauty and self care to another level. We are here to serve you.

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Luxury Day Spa & Nails

The ultimate in beauty and nail care.

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The Face & Body Place

We offer a wide range of services to pamper you. We are the ultimate in self care and beauty maintenance.

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Kids N Colors Daycare

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Antelope Valley Country Club

AVCC is your location for golf, social events and your special occasions.

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Flower Girl by Angeline

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CATERING & SPECIAL TREATS

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Your care and comfort is our primary concern.

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A & M Hauling

Got something to haul, make the right call. We are here for all of your hauling needs. Contact us for a free estimate.

T 661.406.5993

The Anaverde

Business Directory

MEDICAL CARE

TUTORING

Palmdale Regional Medical Center

Kumon Math & Reading Centers (Palmdale East)

Palmdale Regional Medical Center serves the region by providing high quality medical services to residents of the Antelope Valley, Santa Clarita Valley and surrounding communities.

T 661.382.5000 A 38600 Medical Center Drive Palmdale, CA, 93551 W www.palmdaleregional.com

VETERINARY CARE

Our emphasis on individualized learning helps your child become focused, motivated and self-reliant.

T 661.274.2020 A 3135-C Rancho Vista Blvd Palmdale, CA 93551 W www.kumon.com/palmdale-east/

All Care Pet Clinic, Inc.

Where healthy pets are happy pets.

T 661.265.7373 A 3135 Rancho Vista Blvd, Suite E Palmdale, CA 93551 W www.allcarepetclinic.com/site/home

Anaverde | August 2022 3 Anaverde Magazine Magazine | October 2022 63

Snapshots

A Photo Gallery for the Community

by the Community

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Join the Conversation

Visit us online at www.anaverde-magazine.com

Anaverde

Magazine | |September 2022 65 69 Anaverde Magazine December 7 November 2020

IT’S TIME TO VIBE HIGH WHAT DOES THE COSMOS HOLD FOR YOU IN OCTOBER?

LIBRA

(September 23 - October 23)

Positive is the keyword for your sign this month. Things are

looking up for you. More people know you and your popularity is ever increasing. Dwell in the positive. Negativity and self doubt are nestled right next to your new outlook. Keep your face to the sun and the darkside will not have its way with you. Be wise about the company that you keep. Your positive energy will draw new people to you. This can be draining, as you are the one with the energy that they seek. Do not exaggerate or preach to others. Preserve your energy.

SCORPIO

AQUARIUS

(October 24 - November 21)

Motivation is the keyword for your sign this month. Your motivation and enthusiasm about life is very high this month. Hold on, this is going to be an interesting ride. This energy is what is needed to give shape to your dreams. When you finally see what you desire unfolding, have courage. Be careful not to share your dreams with everyone. Be silent and work them out in the dark. There is no need to seek advice from your peers. They too are trying to figure things out along the way. Be patient and pace yourself. Your motivation will achieve success in small quantities not big chunks.

SAGITTARIUS

(November 22 - December 21)

Curiosity is the keyword for

your sign this month. Your curiosity will be your guide to new and exciting things. It is a good idea to explore new tracks and be bold with your exploration. Nothing is

266

(January 20 - February 18)

off limits to you. You want to innovate, to create, you are dynamic and motivated. Own this power. When the feelings of loneliness seem to creep in, seek support. You are not alone.

CAPRICORN

(December 22 - January 19)

Trust is the keyword for your sign this month. Your every desire is at your fingertips. You are called to trust. Trust where you are on your journey. Trust the relationships that light your path. It is all here for you. You may have some concerns in regard to your health and your career. This is not the time to overindulge in these things. A way has already been made for you. Lean into your path. Your income will increase this month but so will your expenses so this will feel more like a balancing of the two. The key is to focus on your power and trust that all good things are on their way to you.

Adjustment is the keyword for your sign this month. When things become too challenging for your journey, you are never called to quit. You are simply called to adjust. You will find that things are flowing more freely and your need for spontaneity rises. There is freedom to live on a whim, as you like it. Just remember to prioritize. Remember what matters to you most. This month, you are centered mostly around your career.

PISCES

(February 19 - March 20)

Opportunity is the keyword for

your sign this month. Buckle up, things just got interesting. There are so many opportunities in your midst and as the dreamer that you are, you will find yourself shying away from all of the glorious paths that lie before you. Family members will offer up confusion but you will have the ability to see through the obstacle and

LEO

(July 23 - August 22)

GEMINI

come out on the other side. Be steadfast and pursue all that calls to you. Your sign is called to be light. Dwell in it.

ARIES

(March 21 - April 20)

Results is the keyword for your

sign this month. Your family life will be blissful this month. There is no need to proceed with caution, this is your new normal. You have been anticipating change and positive results over the past few months. They are here. Embrace all that you have hoped for and then hope for more. There are no limits to what you can have and what good things await you.

TAURUS

(April 21 - May 20)

Confront is the keyword for you

this month. Not to be confused with comfort but confront is your new house this month. You have the exact words and thoughts that will set your spirit free. It is time to confront all that has been ailing you. Carrying this burden is not your calling. Call it out, the people, the situations, the circumstances… everything that is not serving you must be called to the surface and set free.

(May 21 - June 21)

Preparation is the keyword for

your sign this month. You will be tempted to just do it and that is fine but you must prepare. Your tendency to be rowdy no longer serves you in this era. Pay close attention to how you spend your time and money. Set yourself up for success both mentally and physically. You do this by truly understanding what it is that you want. Be wise with your longing for things. To ease the irritation that you often face along your journey, prepare. Feel the feelings deep down, call them up and prepare for their manifestation.

Stillness is the keyword for your sign this month. The more that you try to make something happen, the harder it will be. You are being called to be still. Allow the accumulation of the work that you have done up until now, finish its course. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Let others help you and realize that you give them a gift by allowing them to assist you on this journey. The situations in your life seem a little uneasy at the moment. The key is not to discuss these things. Let them be. Remember your simple pleasures when it comes to relationships. You will get more enjoyment out of the little things this month. Seek them.

VIRGO

(August 23 - September 22)

CANCER

(June 22 - July 22)

Caution is the keyword for your

sign this month. Be mindful not to get too entangled into the opinions of others. You tend to be deeply passionate about the thoughts of others. This month, you are being guided to use caution when dealing with the masses. When you make one unsteady move, there is no need to feel guilty or to punish yourself. Dust it off and keep moving. Your energy level is good this month. Use caution with what you give your energy to. Use your words sparingly in conversations.

Realization is the keyword for

your sign this month. You are aiming for big goals and now realize that you can very well attain them. Stay in this energy and try not to get caught up in the seemingly complicated steps that are necessary to achieve these goals. Keep your logic at bay. None of this makes sense to you. This is alright. Realize that your trust is an essential factor in all that you desire. You will feel most fulfilled emotionally and spiritually from your family and friends. Take the time to nurture these relationships. These relationships will help you succeed.

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