December Wireless Magazine

[FREE]

EXAMPLE BRITAIN’S LOVELIEST RAPPER POPS ROUND FOR A CHAT ALSO IN THIS ISSUE:

THE WIRELESS STUDENT GAP YEAR SPECIAL INCLUDING YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A 2 WEEK TREK AROUND AMERICA OR A TRIP ANYWHERE IN EUROPE!

WAG WITH A GOOD OLD CHIN

THE VACCINES

Online Edition

PLUS: JAKE BUGG // BEAR GRYLLS // THE STAVES POP UP SHOP // 12 DAYS OF XMAS COMP // MOVEMBER WEIRD UNI SOCIETIES // CIRCUS // HOUSING GUIDE

Holy shitballs, it’s nearly December, & as the song most eloquently reminds us (usually about 8 weeks too early), it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas... To celebrate this fact, we have a gloriously un-Christmassy issue for you, well apart from the Pop Up Gift Shop (on Page 8 & 9) but that’s for charity, or our 12 days of Christmas competition (p24), but that’s awesome, so it’s all good. Let’s see, we have exclusive interviews with indie giants The Vaccines, with British rap hero Example, with the wee-drinking-salmon-munching-bug-licking legend Bear Grylls, with guitar playing whippersnapper Jake Bugg, &with soon to be huge lovely folk ladies The Staves. Plus you can win a trip around the USA or anywhere in Europe & loads loads more. Woop aloo. x

s s e l e Wir [MAGAZINE]

Nov/Dec 2012 Edition

In this issue....

Wireless Pop Up Gift Shop 08-09

Remember Movember 10

The Vaccines Interview 13-15

Wireless Joins The Circus 18-19

Example Interview 20-21

The Staves Interview 25

Bear Grylls Interview 34-35

Gap Year On A Budget 36

The Mass Debate 38-39

Get The Look: Winter Style 42-43

Cheap Night In: Mayan Style 44-45

NEWS - THIS MONTH - JAKE BUGG WEIRD SOCIETIES - GAP YEAR IDEAS 7 PLACES NOT TO GO ON A GAP YEAR COMPETITIONS - MUCH MORE...

This publication is aimed at people over the age of 18, due to the nature of its content. If you are under 18, we suggest you put this magazine down and pick up a copy of Kerrang or Seventeen or something. Sorry about that, our lawyers told us to tell you.

Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept any liability to any party or loss or damage caused by errors or o missions resulting f rom negligence, accident or any other cause.

This edition of Wireless was created largely under the influence of rum, custard creams and enough Piraton to issue.... render a leopard entirely stationery.

PUBLISHED BY UK STUDENT MEDIA LTD Editor: Andy Scott Sub-editor: Joseph Smith Telephone 0151 345 3803 Contributors: Lucy Howell, Clare Barry, Steve Jordan, Advertising: Amy Pay, Jack Carter, Chris Welsh, Tom Johnson, Adam sales@ukstudentmedia.net Clements, Rachael Campbell Editorial: Design: Andy Scott, Rob Armstrong, Zoey Lott Photos: Megan McCart, ITV Pictures, Rob Whitworth, Barry Horne info@wireless-online.co.uk Big thanks to: Carl at Big Mouth Publicity, Jemma at Purple PR, Dave at Wild, Claire at Atlantic Records, Everyone at ChuffMedia, Zippos Circus, The good people at Nelly.com, James at Sick Chirpse, Tom at Hall or Nothing, Everyone at Zeitgeist, Trek America, SendMyBag.com, Me Ma ‘n’ Da...

Also in this

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NEWS

#DEMO 2012:

Educate, Employ, Empower The National Union of Students will hold a national demonstration in the streets of London on 21st November. Protesters will make a

stand against the loss of EMA, soaring tuition fees and squeezed budgets in the first day of national action since the violent marches of 2010. NUS President Liam Burns states: “You’ve got a lot to be angry about. You’ve had your education systematically attacked across the board by the coalition. And even if you get to the other end, what have you got to look forward to? In a year in which there are no votes in parliament and no legislation coming before politicians, it’s about time we started setting the agenda.”.

Planners are hoping that people won't go so ape-shit this time and are encouraging all interested students to get involved. Come along and make a difference! Just don't break anything. It makes us all look bad.

Courtney Love Kills Kurt Musical Rumours Courtney Love has ended speculation about a Nirvana musical saying that it will not happen, according to The Observer. Rumours had

suggested that Love's former co-manager, Sam Lufti was in the process of producing a Broadway show about the life of Kurt Cobain, the finale of which would presumably feature a spectacular 'turning-in-grave' sequence.

Free Spray Tans For The Unemployed

Husband Sues Wife For Being Ugly

Jobless people in Aberdare are being offered f r e e f a l s e tans to improve their chances of getting a job. The Academy, a non-for-

When Jian Feng first saw his new born baby he couldn't figure out how such an assugly child could be his.

profit organization, hopes to improve job seekers' confidence by giving them makeovers. It has yet to be proven whether “The Ooompa Loompa effect” can positively affect your chances in a job interview.

04

Initially he suspected his beautiful wife of having an affair, but it later transpired that his partner's beauty was thanks to £60,000 worth of plastic surgery.

Naturally, he took his lying spouse to court in China and was awarded £75,000 and an immediate divorce.

Original White Noise Calls For Electro Lovers A new online radio station is appealing to budding DJs and electronic music lovers for their personal playlists. Original White

N o i s e hopes to bring fans of the g e n r e together so that they can share their latest creations and discoveries with the world. The station launches on the 22nd of November.

This month, we will be mostly... (and a bit)

...listening to C r y s t a l Castles III

Out 5th Nov

The electro duo are back with their imaginatively titled third album, and if the singles Wrath Of God, and Plague are anything to go by then we’re in for a treat.

Green Day ¡Dos! Out 12th Nov

The second installment of the album trilogy is, according to Billie Joe “more garage rock — a little dirtier, like you're in the middle of the party”. They seem to have slipped back into their old punk pop ways anyway, so dig out your baggy jeans, chains and guyliner, this should be a goodun!

Bruno Mars Locked Out Of Heaven Out 25th Nov

OK, so Bruno Mars might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but this tune (in parts) sounds like the best song The Police never wrote. It’s probably filling dancefloors around the country before you’ve even read this...

...and a classic Jimmy Eat World B l e e d American OK, so 2001 wasn’t exactly a vintage year for music, but 06

amongst all the Britney Spears and Destiny’s Child shite, there was this gem of an album. One of the pioneers of “emocore” (before it was all about the haircuts and tight pants) J.E.W created an album, nay a barrage, of awesome tunes from start to finish. Stand out tracks include Sweetness, A Praise Chorus and Salt Sweat Sugar. You need this on your iPod...

...going to see S i l v e r L i n i n g s Playbook

Out 21st Nov

An all star cast featuring the bloke from The Hangover, that bird from the Hunger Games and some fella called Robert De Niro head up this adapted novel comedy masterpiece about love, insanity and punching people at American Football games. From the outside, it could be conceived as another crappy rom-com, but it’s actually a brilliantly acted, brilliantly thought out piece of cinema. Worth a watch.

...playing Football Manager 2013

Out 2nd PC/Mac

Nov

-

We were lucky enough to get a copy of this football management simulation gem sent to us a couple of weeks before it came out. The editor then had to be drugged up and have it forcibly removed from him, before this issue was renamed Wireless Summer Edition...This is

procrastination at its very finest. Have a go at the new Challenge Mode. It’s a goodun. If you flick to page 54, we’ve got a copy to give away too!

...wearing A Chrimbo Jumper

Yes they are ultra hipster and cool these days. But fuck it, if you feel like wearing a giant snowman on your woollen chest, then wear it with pride. Haters gon’ hate, y’all...

...celebrating Movember November, upper lips, all over the world.

Yes indeed it is the hairest time of the year, when the world unites for a celebration of facial furriness by growing a silly moustache for prostate cancer awareness.

Even your nan can join in.

Anyone caught not sporting a fancy lip rug this month can join in with Decembeard (not real) and Fanuary (gross).

...ignoring I ’ m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.

From 11th Nov ITV1/2/3/4/5/6

-

A bunch of alleged celebrities desperately clawing at one last attempt at fame. While we’re quite partial to Ant and Dec’s northern charm and giant foreheads, the rest of them are just bad bad tools.

A QUICK WORD WITH

JAKE BUGG

If you don't know who Jake Bugg is by now you'll soon find out. The Nottingham singer has had a number 1 album, toured with Noel Gallagher and sold out two tours. Not bad for someone who is only 18.

Hi Jake, you've just got back from America how was that?

I started off in Seattle and then went up to Canada. Then we went down to New York, Chicago, and then Kentucky, Nashville and Texas. It was a crazy tour.

What's the best thing to come out of being on tour with Noel Gallagher?

Probably getting used to playing in front of his crowds, the bigger crowds.

Good practice for your own shows?

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to the tour coming up. It's going to be great, I get to play Shepherds Bush on my birthday, the last day of the tour.

Is that a birthday present or a happy coincidence?

Well we already had a Shepherds Bush date for the 27th, and my birthday's on the 28th, but then it sold out so they added another date on my birthday, which is cool.

It's been a really good year for singer-song writers, why do you think people are choosing to get their guitar music from a solo artist rather than bands?

Well there are a lot of bands who're just a wall of sound, they write one good tune but when they try and write others it's just the same. And a lot of bands struggle because it's hard you know? You've got to earn a living and at the same time you've got to practice, be good on your instrument and write great songs.

Jake’s self titled debut album is out now, and he’s touring Spring 2013.

7

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Becky Becky RyanRyan - Pretty - Pretty In Pink In Pink Liverpool’s Liverpool’s BeckyBecky Ryan Ryan is something is something of a ofvintage a vintage burlesque burlesque fanatic, fanatic, with with a brilliant a brilliant rangerange of designs of designs from kinky from kinky housewives housewives to sexy to santas sexy santas - in fact - in her factHello her Hello Sailor Sailor rangerange is now ismaking now making waveswaves (excuse (excuse the pun) the pun) all all over the overworld. the world.

She designed She designed Pretty Pretty In Pink In exclusively Pink exclusively for us, for and us,we and love we it. loveCome it. on Come girls, on girls, you know you you’d know you’d love love that on that a skinny on a skinny fit t-shirt. fit t-shirt.

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Organic Organic Pirate Pirate - Samaritan - Samaritan Phone Phone / Pirate / Pirate Queen Queen

The brainchild The brainchild of Louis of Louis Driver, Driver, who by who all byaccounts, all accounts, is onis a on one-man a one-man mission mission to make to make everything everything look look at at leastleast 20% more 20% more awesome. awesome.

Describing Describing theirtheir stylestyle as as “bold, “bold, dark dark and contemporary” and contemporary” we reckon we reckon no student no student home home wouldwould be complete be complete without without one of one these of these Pirate Pirate Queens Queens donning donning theirtheir wall wall or this or bakelite this bakelite inspired inspired Samaritan Samaritan PhonePhone tote bag. tote The bag.Original The Original Pirate Pirate labellabel is largely is largely unisex unisex and definitely and definitely needsneeds checking checking out. out.

For more Forofmore Organic of Organic Pirate apparel, Pirate apparel, check out check www.organicpirate.co.uk out www.organicpirate.co.uk

Jennifer Jennifer McKevitt McKevitt - Be- Kind Be Kind and and SmileSmile SuperSuper creative creative and and generally generally brilliant brilliant designer designer Jennifer Jennifer McKevitt McKevitt has come has up come with up this with exclusively this exclusively for for us. Beus.

Kind Be and KindSmile and Smile is theiskind the of kind image of image that works that works on on any medium, any medium, from from tote tote bags bags to greetings to greetings cards. cards.

It's It's a a lovely lovely sentiment, sentiment, and an and even an lovelier even lovelier design. design.

We love We love it, a it, lot.a Also, if youifhead hertosite, she’s she’s a dab a dab lot. Also, you over head to over her site, hand with needle.

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To see To more Jennifer’s work, check www.etsy.com/shop/catsmeowlabel seeofmore of Jennifer’s work, out check out www.etsy.com/shop/catsmeowlabel 08

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Natasha Natasha Aldred Aldred - Spitfires - Spitfires Hailing Hailing from West from Yorkshire, West Yorkshire, illustrator illustrator Natasha Natasha citescites her style her style “a combination “a combination of texture, of texture, edgy fluent edgy fluent lineslines and a and strong a strong adultadult narrative narrative influence”. influence”.

Spitfires Spitfires was was created created in reference in reference to Remembrance to Remembrance Day, and Day, lets and lets be be honest, honest, it looks it looks fucking fucking cool cool too. too.

With With influences influences ranging ranging from from fairytales fairytales to the to macabre, the macabre, all the all the alternative alternative kids will kids be will after be after an Aldred an Aldred soon... soon...

ForNatasha, more Natasha, check the brilliantly noodlebomboodle.blogspot.co For more check the brilliantly named named noodlebomboodle.blogspot.com

Mr Mead Mr Mead - Winner - Winner Takes Takes All All Mr Mead Mr is Mead a firm is a favourite firm favourite of ours of here ours at here Wireless at Wireless HQ, HQ, for those for those of youofwho youpicked who picked up theupmag thelast mag term last (when term (when we we did adid bigaol big spread ol spread of his ofwork) his work) you’llyou’ll see he see has hean has an awesome awesome selection selection of avant-garde, of avant-garde, obscure obscure and darkly and darkly brilliant brilliant images. images.

This previously This previously unreleased unreleased design design is is only only available available in Poster in Poster format, format, so get soone getwhile one while you you can. It’ll can. It’ll be worth be worth a lot aone lotday... one day...

Mr Mead’s fullofrange of designs and visit ideas,www.mrmead.co.uk visit www.mrmead.co.uk For Mr For Mead’s full range designs and ideas,

Charlie Charlie Sorrell Sorrell - Vinyl - Vinyl Madness Madness At just At 19, just Charlie 19, Charlie is theisyoungest the youngest of ourofcontributors our contributors but as but you ascan yousee canfrom see this from piece, this piece, he’s got he’sagot hell a of hell a of a lot of lot talent of talent brewing. brewing.

VinylVinyl Madness Madness is a graphically is a graphically altered altered photograph, photograph, whichwhich we think we think wouldwould look awesome look awesome adorning adorning the walls the walls of student of student living living roomsrooms up and updown and down the country, the country, or on or a tshirt, on a tshirt, or a bag. or a Or bag. a card.

Or a card.

Infact, Infact, it would it would just look just awesome look awesome pretty pretty much anywhere. much anywhere.

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by Charlie, check at sorrelldesign.carbonmade.com To see To more Charlie, check out his out sitehis at site sorrelldesign.carbonmade.com

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09

MOVEMBER

For those of you who don’t know, November is now the time of year when men of the world unite to grow awesome moustaches. We’re not kidding, it’s all in aid of raising the awareness of testicular and prostate cancer , and it’s a brilliant excuse to look both awesome and ridiculous for a month. In honour of our favourite time of year, we’ve picked some of our favourite moustached gentlemen to give you some ideas. Go on, do it...

The Handlebar

The Dali

A brave choice, made particularly famous by Lemmy of Motorhead. Probably the manliest of all the moustaches.

Anyone attempting this needs to be extra aware of those around them. Salvador Dali poked many an eye out with this pointy effort.

The Massive Effort

More than just a moustache, this is a work of art. You’ll need a steady hand and a fine razor to pull this one off.

God speed!

The 70's Pornstar

Warning. This moustache will not give you the stamina of a 70's pornstar, however you’ll look awesome and probably get laid a lot.

The Bushy Bastard

This moustache is ideal for the man with no pockets, as it provides ample storage hide your pens, iPod or even a cheeky mid-lecture snack.

The Chaplin

A very risky one. Get it right and you’ll look like a hero of the silent film era.

Get it wrong and most people will disown you for a month.

Ladies! Don’t feel left out!

So you can’t grow a moustache (we assume so, anyway...), it’s probably for the best. Just grab a felt tip pen, and doodle yourself a fancy ol lip rug! Here are a few ideas to get you started....

For more information on Movember and how to get involved, visit www.movember.com

10

The Marshall Custom Shop service offers a whole host of ways to personalise your British-built Marshall amp and/or speaker cabinet(s). Add your own graphics* to the grille-cloth and select from a menu of vinyl, piping, corner and logo options. *Copyright-cleared and Marshall approved – see website for full terms & conditions

For more details go to

www.marshallcustomshop.com

Marshall and Movember are offering one lucky Mo Bro or Sista the chance to have their own one-off Mo inspired C5 combo custom made for them.

To enter, show us what you’d have on the front of your combo and Marshall will use their Marshall Art® technology to bring the winner’s design to life.

Process limitations apply.

Send your design image to marshallcomp@movember.com Closing date: 5th December 2012

Go to www.marshallamps.com/movember/movember.html for full terms & conditions

The Vaccines

Two Years, Two Albums and One Huge Gig...

In the space of just two years The Vaccines have released two studio albums, reached the top of the charts and toured all over, as well as supporting some of the biggest bands in history. You would think some time off would be welcomed. Instead, bass player Árni Hjörvar is complaining about sitting at home with nothing to do, dying to get on the road again to tour the new album, Come of Age, which went straight to number one in September.

They recently announced they will play London's O2 Arena in May next year, and with a

capacity of 20,000 people this will be their biggest headline show to date although the reality hasn't quite sunk in yet: “It scares the living shit out of me. I've been to gigs there; it's a big old place.

It will feel very real when we get there.”

That won't be the only arena they headline in May next year- they will also be playing in Margate, Carlisle, Leeds and Llandudno throughout the month.

The quartet has had plenty of experience playing to large crowds. They have supported Arctic Monkeys both in the UK and US as well as the Stone Roses at Heaton Park in June. Árni describes the reunion

WORDS: LUCY HOWELL gig: “It was a big crowd! It was brilliant. There were 75,000 middle aged former ravers who all went out and got crazy for one night and it was brilliant. We were surrounded by people who were re-living their youth.

I thought we were gonna just get bottled off stage but they were quite nice.”

After another triumphant set at Reading and Leeds Festival this summer where they were third from the top of the bill on the main stage, the bass player tries to explain how it feels: “You can't really qualify it in a word- its not fear- you're overwhelmed- it's really difficult to stop yourself from hysterically laughing or something but it's

13

incredible.” incredible.”

When When askedasked what it what wasit like wasplaying like playing to a to a room room full full of accredited of accredited musicians, musicians, he's silent he's silent for a for a moment. moment.

“Oh shit “Oh of shit courseof coursewe played we played didn't didn't we?!”we?!”

He He exclaims. exclaims.

“To be “Tohonest be honest I I just blocked just blocked that memory that memory out out of my of mind. my mind.

It was It fucking was fucking nervenerve racking. racking.

You're You're playing playing to your to heroes your heroes and and it's it's a very a very sterile sterile and and boring boring environment environment to play to play in – in nobody – nobody gives gives a fuck. a fuck.

There There are just are just loads loads of of people people talking talking over you. overBut you. But anyway, anyway, yeah yeah it was it fun. was fun.

Graham Graham CoxonCoxon was was very very complimentary.” complimentary.”

There There were times were times when the when the band's band's futurefuture didn't didn't look look quite quite so rosy. so rosy. Árni recalls Árni recalls their their first first ever gig everasgig theas the opening opening act in act Leicester in Leicester wherewhere they played they played to just tosix just six peoplepeoplethe parents the parents of the of the main band. main band.

“The next “The gig nextwas gig was even worse! even worse!

We were We setting were setting up for upa for gigain gig Nottingham in Nottingham Rescue Rescue Rooms.

Rooms.

There There were were like like hundreds hundreds of people of people flooding flooding into the intoplace the place and and we couldn't we couldn't believe believe it. When it. When we went we out went toout play, to play, it turns it turns out everyone out everyone went to went a party to a party extremely extremely exciting.” exciting.” (formerly (formerly signed signed to Stiff to Stiff in a in different a different room. room.

So weSo we Records Records recording recording under under the the were were just just playing playing to the to the So howSo did how these did these modern modern day day name name Jay Jay Jay Pistolet) Pistolet) barman. barman.

There There were were a few a few Ramones Ramones come come about? about? Árni Árni through through mutual mutual friends friends and and like that like(laughs).” that (laughs).” d e s c rd ie bs ec sr i bheiss hniast i vn ea t i vthey e they recruited recruited Freddie Freddie country, country, Iceland, Iceland, as 'dark as 'dark CowanCowan (the younger (the younger brother brother But here they they are with are with and cold and cold and boring.' and boring.'

He He of Tomoffrom Tom The fromHorrors) The Horrors) and and But here their their second second album album Come of Come of moved moved over to over England to England in 2007 in 2007 Pete Robertson, Pete Robertson, to form to The form The Age which Age which shot straight shot straight to to wherewhere he only he only intended intended to to Vaccines.

Vaccines. the top the of topthe of UK thecharts.

UK charts. for a foryear a year whilst whilst stay stay After After the debut the debut album album What What studying studying at theat Institute the Institute of ofSkip on Skip to 2012 on toand 2012 they andhad they had did you did expect you expect from from The The C o n tCeomnptoermaproyr a M ru y s iMcu s ian c NME anAward NME Award for 'Best for 'Best New New Vaccines Vaccines was such was asuch success, a success, Performance Performance (other (other alumni alumni Band'Band' under under their their belts. belts. being being the highest the highest sold debut sold debut of last of year, last year, there there was a was lot a lot twice twice record record the same the same to make to make wantwant “We didn't “We didn't o f so pf e csupleactuiloant i ao n d a n d in doinganticipation ed ineddoing ely succeed ely succeed we definit we definit think I think and Iand anticipation for the for next the next loose.” loose.” let let of of kind kind we we album. album.

“We didn't “We didn't want want to to around around time time this this that... that... make the makesame the record same record twicetwice and Iand think I think we definitely we definitely “The NME “TheisNME sort is sort include include Ben Ben succeeded succeeded in doing in doing that. that. of like of a like bible a bible for people for people Sargeant Sargeant of The of Script The Script and and It's It's straight straight up simple, up simple, like us growing us growing up,” says up,” says D r e wD r Oe 'wC o On 'n Ce ol nl n eflrlo m f r olike m direct direct pop music. pop music.

But this But this Árni. Árni.

“Even “Even seeing seeing the first the first Babyshambles).

Babyshambles).

But But he he time around time around we kind we of kind let of let piece piece they they wrotewrote about about us us stayed stayed as 'London as 'London has got has got loose.” loose.”

The songs The songs are a are lot a lot was just was mind-blowing. just mind-blowing.

And And this this tendency tendency of just of just more more diverse diverse and some and some are are then then they they wrotewrote about about us us hanging hanging on toonpeople.' to people.'

In In harder-hitting harder-hitting whilst whilst still still quite quite a lota and lot then and then they they 2010, 2010, Árni met ÁrniJustin met Justin Young Young being being easy on easy theonears. the ears. Árni Árni gave us gave this us award this award - it is - it is 14

says: says: “After“After recording recording this this is to is write to write a songa about song about it. it. album album we came we came out of outthe of the I don't I don't think think Justin Justin wantswants to to The bass The player bass player has been has in been in studio studio a lot a more lot confident. more confident. be a girl. be a girl.

It wasItjust was one justofone to of punk to music punk music from a from young a young And with And with gigs like gigs Reading like Reading those those - I wonder - I wonder what what it it age, he age, likes he likes 'uncomfortable 'uncomfortable and Leeds and Leeds you come you off comestage off stage wouldwould be like be if like I was if Ia was hot a hot music' music' including including Icelandic Icelandic a lot more a lotconfident more confident than you than you girl?' girl?'

The band The are bandall arefans all fans band The bandSugarcubes The Sugarcubes and the and the of throw-away pop needs of Dead Kennedys were before were before you went you on.” went .” on.” .” of throw-away pop needs and and likes likes of Dead Kennedys and and The kept band the keptsame the ethos same ethos base of most of their on The Clash.

The band's The band base most their songs songs on The Clash.

The band's pre- prestrong but but this this strong self-selfp e r s op ne ar ls o neaxlp e re ix ep ne cr ei se ,n c e s h, o w s hroiwt u ar li t uianlc l ui dn ec sl u d e s assurance allowed to s listening to these assurance allowed them them to k e e pkienegp i tn hg e t lh ye r ilcysr i clistening to these bands,bands, explore and experiment straightforward. drinking few beers explore and experiment more more straightforward. drinking a fewa beers and aand a withrecord. this record. cheesy with this 'big 'big cheesy hug'.hug'.

The The Whenband the supported band supported Vaccines really When the Red Red Vaccines don't don't really want want are corkers some corkers on Chilli Peppers at to labelled be labelled a There There are some on Hot Hot Chilli Peppers at to be under under a the record, particularly Dublin's Crooke in specific the record, particularly 'No 'No Dublin's Crooke Park Park in specific genre genre but but Árni Árni the lively and riffthe Chilli Peppers believes 'punk' Hope',Hope', the lively and riffJune, June, the Chilli Peppers believes 'punk' musicmusic packed 'Teenage a lasting impression on teaches younot it's notyou what you packed 'Teenage Icon',Icon', punky punky made amade lasting impression on teaches you it's what 'Bad Mood' (which is Árni's Árni says: “You would but you how play you play 'Bad Mood' (which is Árni's them. them. Árni says: “You would play play but how it- itcurrent favourite) and the alltime thisand time and all about the energy,” current favourite) and the think think after after all this “It's “It's all about the energy,” they've gone gone he says.

And The infectious 'I Always everything they've he says.

And Vaccines The Vaccines infectious 'I Always Knew'Knew' everything whichwhich is their latest through they they wouldwould have have certainly have bucket loads loads is their latest through certainly have bucket single.

Probably the oddest becomebecome tired tired by now.

But But of that. single.

Probably the oddest by now. of that. song on theon record is 'I Wish what they input to each song the record is 'I Wish whatput they in toshow each show The Vaccines areindie an indie I W aIs Waa s G iar l 'G.i r lÁ'r.n i Á r nis They're The Vaccines are an i sois inspiring. so inspiring.

They're describes the track written always in the in the hurricane coming to a town describes the track written always first first in in hurricane coming to a town

by Justin as of 'One of those morning and every nearsoon, you soon, them if

by Justin as 'One those morning and every night night they they near you catch catch them if classic examples of everyone putthe on best the best you can.

They be will be back classic examples of everyone put on show show they they you can.

They will back the world whostopped has stopped possibly could.”

Are The on November 15th to off kick off in theinworld who has possibly could.”

Are The on November 15th to kick for five seconds Vaccines forlong the long UK stint of their lengthy for five seconds in a in daya day Vaccines in it in foritthe the UKthe stint of their lengthy over a bizarre thought “Ifcan youhold can on hold out the video over a bizarre thought but but haul? haul?

“If you to on to tour. tour.

Check Check out the video for for it again that amount of energy they do latest single 'I Always never never think think about about it again that amount of energy they do latest single 'I Always - yeah.

Butyou if can't you can't the band's official b u t btuhte tbhees t b ewsaty wtaoy t-o yeah.

But if Knew'Knew' on theon band's official immortalise a stupid thought there's no point,” he says.Youtube Youtube immortalise a stupid thought there's no point,” he says. page. page.

“Ther “Ther e were e were likelike hundr hundr eds eds of peopl of peopl e flood e flood ing ing intointo the the place place and and we could we could n't n't belie belie ve it... ve it... turns turns out out every every one one wentwent to ato a party party in ain a diffe diffe rentrent room. room. ..” ..”

15

Make sure you’re part of The Gathering In 2013 Ireland is having a get together like no other: a celebration of Irishness through a dazzling array of events and festivals. The whole country’s up for it, and we want YOU to be part of it.

From Dunfanaghy to Dingle, all manner of gatherings will be taking place. Whatever your connection to Ireland, we invite you to join the action that’s already lined up.

Then again, you might want to throw a gathering of your own.

Let’s make it happen!

Get ready to have the time of your life.

Fire your imagination. Make your story.

Be part of history.

Like The Gathering Ireland on Facebook and let us inspire you to be part of it.

Gatherings to get you going You’ll find details of many more great gatherings right now on our website, thegatheringireland.com New Year’s Festival Dublin, 30 December 2012 – 1 January 2013 This is where it all begins! Celebrate the launch of The Gathering in spectacular style.

Dublin Trad Fest Dublin, 22 – 27 January 2013 Throw yourself into this much-loved traditional music get together. There’s plenty to enjoy!

St. Patrick’s Festival Dublin, 14 – 18 March 2013 Seize this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to walk in the world-famous parade.

Puck Fair Killorglin, Co. Kerry, 9 – 12 August 2013 Celebrating its 400th year, this famous gathering is the place where a goat is crowned king.

Clan Gatherings Across Ireland, various dates 2013 Calling all Kellys, Gallaghers and O’Driscolls, find your family gathering!

Soon you’ll be meeting up with relatives and friends… and making new ones!

s s s s e e l l e e r r i i the the W W doesdoes WORDS: WORDS: JOSEPH JOSEPH SMITH SMITH

those those thingsthings take years to the show was that, as a as a take years to the show was that, 'So 'So what what can can you you do do learn.learn.

'Maybe'Maybe I could be a be child, I didn't remember the the I could a child, I didn't remember then?'

A stoney facedfaced then?'

A stoney clown or something?' clown or something?' ringmaster askedasked me. It ringmaster me. It was my first and only was my first and day only day The ringmaster told me that The ringmaster told me that w o r kw in og r k iantg Zaitp p o Z' is ppo's he'd see ifsee theif clowns could could he'd the clowns Circus as part a series Circus as of part of a series fit mefit into sketch.

He wasHe was meainto a sketch. of articles I'm hoping to of articles I'm hoping to an interesting character an interesting character call call “Shit“Shit You Can You Get Can Get and strangely misanthropic and strangely misanthropic Away With Away When With You WhenWrite You Write for someone who worked so for someone who worked so For AForMagazine Or Say A Magazine Or Say closely with children.

None None closely with children. o f tohfe tchaes t c assete m es de e m e d You're Terminally Ill.”Ill.” You're Terminally

particularly cheerycheery but but particularly We were in Sheffield and and We were in Sheffield that that was understandable was understandable everyone was was a little everyone a little when when you considered that that you considered grumpy because it was grumpy because it was some of them some of were them from were as from as pissing down down and they'd pissing and they'd far away Kenya and now far as away as Kenya and now spent spent all day out out alldraining day draining were were spending their their spending the sludge from the big top. the sludge from the big top.they they circuscircus being being so sexy.

Since Since so sexy. summer knee deep cowin shit summer kneein deep cow shit 'Ugh, 'Ugh, I was Ihoping I was hoping I the ban exotic animals theonban on exotic animals and pneumonia.

The drizzle and pneumonia.

The drizzle could could learn learn some tricks.' some tricks.' circuses have had fill circuses havetohad to fill the void talent show show thewith voidTV with TV talent “It seems a little unjust that that a world classclass “It seems a little unjust a world s t y l es t ydlaen c ed a nrcoeu t irnoeust i n e s travelling acrobat has to work theirtheir own box travelling acrobat has to work own box featuring strange women women in featuring strange in office when when all you to doto todo become famous office allhave you have to become famous skimpyskimpy outfits.

Maybe Maybe it's it's outfits. thesethese days days is beis a moderately bad singer....” be a moderately bad singer....” alwaysalways been like I and I beenthis likeand this was just too innocent to was just too innocent to In particular I was Ihoping didn'tdidn't dampendampen my spirits In particular was hoping my spirits realize when Iwhen was I8.was One8. One realize to learn how to however and I and settled down down to learn howdotoback do back however I settled flips,flips, eat fire fly like to enjoy the part eatand fire and fly like to enjoy the of partthe of the David David Copperfield but there show show that I wasn't being being Copperfield but there that I wasn't was only couple of hours humiliated in. in. was aonly a couple of hours humiliated until until the show I'd only the and show and I'd only just been What struck me most thatofall of just told been that told all What struck me about most about

animalanimal they were to theyallowed were allowed to make perform was the humble make perform was the humble household budgie.

They had household budgie.

They had b i r d sb i rddrsi v id nr gi v icnagr s ,c a r s , operating mini mini carousels operating carousels and sliding down down littlelittle and sliding slides.

I couldn't get get slides.

I couldn't enoughenough of that ofshit. that shit.

Far from dated,dated, the the Far being from being circus had had completely circus completely anticipated the humour of anticipated the humour of the internet age. age.

If I If I the internet wasn'twasn't there there I'd probably I'd probably 18

lookedlooked like alike Spanish Jack Jack Lion Lion (played by a by clown) a Spanish (played a clown) Sparrow must have roared, and then... action.

Sparrow must been have the been the roared, and then... action. coolest motherfucker alive alive I awkwardly hobbled acrossacross coolest motherfucker I awkwardly hobbled and the of death the stage, went through all all and cage the cage of death the stage, went through motorbike finalefinale was jaw of my I motorbike was jaw of instructions. my instructions.

I d r o p dp ri on pg p. i nIgt. sIete m s e e m jumped up, did s jumped up,the didtwo themid two mid contradictory that in thein the air skips, landedlanded on one contradictory that air skips, on one interests of preventing knee just interests of preventing knee in justtime in as timethe as the cruelty they've replaced music music stopped, pushedpushed down down cruelty they've replaced stopped, elephants with with the near on the – but– it elephants the near on clacker the clacker but it decapitation of a ofstage didn'tdidn't work. work.

The clacker decapitation a stage The clacker assistant as three grown grown was stuck.

I was Iunder the the assistant as three was stuck. was under men fly around her onher bikes, spotlight in thein middle of a of a men fly around on bikes, spotlight the middle sometimes upsideupside down, at 70 at 70 big top of a of a sometimes down, big in top front in front miles miles an hour a ten tenby ten confused audience of five anin hour in by a ten confused audience of five foot sphere.

How do you even hundred just kneeling there foot sphere.

How do you even hundred just kneeling there be watching budgies driving be watching budgies driving train train for something like like like alike wally.

It turns out out for something a wally.

It turns cars on Youtube.

'Ultimate cars on Youtube.

'Ultimate that?that?

One mistake and and that the hinge was faulty on One mistake that the hinge was faulty on Fail Fail Compilations' are are Compilations' you'll all be exploding the prop.

I must have been you'll all be exploding the prop.

I must have been accounted for for in the accounted in the into clouds of bean wrestling with with the thing into clouds of juice bean juice wrestling the thing slapstick frolics of the slapstick frolics of the and engine oil. oil. for a hellishly long twenty and engine for a hellishly long twenty clownsclowns who take many whoso take sonut many nut seconds in which I started seconds in which I started shots shots I wasI beginning to was beginning to My part came when I was to wonder whether I wasI was My part came when I was to wonder whether feel afeel dulla pain my in ownmy own dull in pain 'randomly' selected from from 'randomly' selected plums.plums.

Also, Also, there there were were a a the audience to take the audience topart takein part in lot oflot fart which which is of jokes fart jokes is Wars parody devised a Star Wars parody devised a Star right right up my street. up my street. by one by of one the of clowns. the clowns.

Reluctant parents were were Reluctant parents It was to seeto see Itinteresting was interesting dragged out toout perform the the dragged to perform that in a circus community that in a circus community parts of Luke, Leia and parts of Luke, Leia and everybody does everything. everybody does everything.

Darth Darth Vader,Vader, and I and got Ioff got off There There were jugglers selling were jugglers selling particularly easy easy as the particularly as the popcorn and trapeze artists popcorn and trapeze artists clacker boy for this this clacker boy for manning the ticket booth.booth. manning the ticket imaginary film recording. imaginary film recording.

It seems a little unjustunjust It seems a little IWhat had to do was simple: I had to do was simple: t h a t t haa t w oar l d w o rcllda s sc l a s What s when when the clown yelled the clown yelled travelling acrobat has tohas to travelling acrobat actually having a bad actually having a bad action I'd dance across the action I'd dance across the work their own box work their ownoffice box office d r e a m .

T h e s o u n d o fd o f d r e a m .

T h e s o u n s t a g se t algiek e l iCkhea r Cl hi ae r l i e when all do to to do to whenyou allhave you to have laughing children isn't laughing children isn't Chaplain, manoeuvre to the Chaplain, manoeuvre to the becomebecome famousfamous these these days is days is such a pleasant noise when such a pleasant noise when front front of theof fake the camera, fake camera, be a moderately bad singer. be a moderately bad singer. the gags are unscripted. the gags are unscripted. scratch my head, scratch my scratch my head, scratch my There There are reasons why why are reasons Even the had a had gooda good Evenclowns the clowns perform two mid-air arse, perform two mid-air c i r ccuisrecsu s we os u lwdonu'ltd n ' arse, t laugh.laugh. skips before landing on one skips before landing on one t r a ntsrlaantsel a wt ee l lw e tl ol t o knee knee and and hitting the the hitting television however.

Our Our television however.

I'd had great day; I'd I'd ahad a great day; I'd clacker.

The others were were clacker.

The others friendfriend the ringmaster made made the ringmaster laughed my ass off, ate too laughed my ass off, ate too shown their parts and it was shown their parts and it was a bit of an un-PC joke about a bit of an un-PC joke about many sweets and had my face many sweets and had my face time time to roll.

The lights to roll.

The lights his assistant duringduring the the his assistant painted.

I'd also learnt painted.

I'd also learnt went low, went the low,20th the Century 20th Century budgiebudgie act (“These birds birds act (“These that to make it in the that to make it in the Fox music played, the MGM Fox music played, the MGM cost cost money,money, while while these these circuscircus you need extreme you need extreme birds birds just spend it all”). just spend it all”). s e l fs -e dl if s- cd ii ps lc ii np el ,i n e , What IWhat alsoI found a little also found a little unwavering dedication and and unwavering dedication questionable was awas chair questionable a chair the willingness to show the willingness to ashow a dancing routine performed dancing routine performed l i t tlliet t fl le e sfhl.e s Ih '. d I ' d by thebyZippo young young ladiesladies the Zippo experienced firsthand the the experienced firsthand who were top hats who wearing were wearing top hats terrorterror of being in front of of being in front of and Christina Aguilera and Christina Aguilera an audience of screaming an audience of screaming lengthlength schoolschool girl skirts girl skirts children, and later the the children, and later (I later found found out that (I later out one that one racialracial discrimination you you discrimination of them just ofwas them was13). just 13). face face on East Midlands on East Midlands trainstrains when when your your face is face is Ethical hang-ups aside aside the the Ethical hang-ups painted like alike Tiger.

But But painted a Tiger. whole whole show show was fucking was fucking that'sthat's another article for for another article awesome.

A fire-eater who who awesome.

A fire-eater another time... another time...

19

An Interview With

Example

...on coming of age, therapy, & the inspiration behind his latest album

“It’s sort of half an apology to my last girlfriend and half self-help; a coming of age.”

This year Elliot John Greave turned 30 years old and the artist known as Example is facing a particularly ‘transitional period’ at the end of his third decade.

“I went to a session last year and I learnt a bit about myself. Some of the stuff that the therapist was saying to me just clicked in my head and that gave me inspiration for songs. I just wanted to be really honest on this album about everything I’ve been through in the last few years.”

Example has consistently written autobiographically 20

throughout his career but head to it, or it can evoke rarely have his lyrics emotions and then after four been as revealing as on the or five listens people go and forthcoming ‘Evolution of analyse the lyrics and learn Man’. The new album sees the something about the meaning. rapper coming to terms with drug use, infidelity and the “I write most of my songs pitfalls of success. With with live shows in mind. When songs such as ‘Crying Out you gig it’s mostly about the For Help’ and ‘All My Lows’ emotion or the atmosphere even the track listings that you get.” sound like a psychoanalytic transcript. All of this moody It was probably a combination self-reflection doesn’t mean of existential angst and experience of example has gone soft on extensive us however; the rawness of playing larger live venues the content is more than “When you gig it’s mostly about matched by the emotion or the atmosphere the sound:

that you get”

“When I listen to songs, because I write lyrics all I do is study the lyrics. I think the key thing about the music as a whole is that you can listen to it and nod your

which resulted in this album’s second most striking feature: Evolution Of Man is at least in some part a rock record. Elliot is quick to point out that this doesn’t

mean that Example is now a band (most of the trance and dubstep elements have been retained for existing fans) but the list of influences that went into making these songs will surprise some.

“I’ve always been a big fan of guitar bands. I spent most of my teen years listening to grunge and metal. It just felt like the right time to make it.”

The inspiration for EOM reads like a roll call of 90s mainstream rock acts, ranging from the industrial metal-pop of Marilyn Manson, to the solo heavy fuzz of Sound Garden. The Harsh riffs and direct vocals of ‘Crying Out For Help’ will immediately bring Rage Against The Machine to mind.

Despite the heavy moments, homage is also paid to lighter contemporary bands; lead single ‘Say Nothing’ follows The Killers’ formula of jangly guitars entwined with synthesizers. Which brings us to something else worth mentioning.

‘Say Nothing’ is one of four tracks on the album which features a rather unlikely guest star.

“Graham Coxon is regarded as one of the best guitarists of his generation. I just thought I’d be cheeky enough to ask him and he said yes, I didn’t actually expect him to but he said yes!

studio to write with him, he just lent his guitar playing to the album.”

dancing and body popping in a car park, or somebody having a house party – just gangs of kids dancing together.

The idea for the collaboration first came “I just wanted to go back about when the pair met at to some of the videos I used a War Child gig, then again to watch in the 90s, like at the BRITs. If you think Metallica, Sound Garden, the idea of the Blur-man Nirvana, The Prodigy, Blur – appearing on what is broadly they all had really abstract an electronic record hard to “I just wanted to go back to grasp you are some of the videos I used to not the only one; Example watch in the 90s” seemingly can’t believe his videos and they didn’t luck to be playing with one really make much sense or of his idols. have anything to do with the song, but they looked great For a great – er, example - of and had amazing characters what to expect from the new and amazing locations. Some Example album, the current of them were quite scary single ‘Close Enemies’ is a and quite warped like a bad fine demonstration of both dream. So that’s basically the characteristic guitar the sort of idea I wanted for work and brooding lyrical the Close Enemies video.” content. The video for the song is even more unusual. Many music channels Featuring a psychopathic responded to the disturbing chainsaw killer, a clown content by banning the video, resembling Stephen King’s although it’s unlikely to It and a weird Silent Hill- deter fans from watching it esque black-gunk-vomiting online. For better or worse, box-head man, the clip’s Example’s darker side is now release did well to coincide out for everyone to see. That with the Halloween period. much is inevitable.

“I was watching TV in February this year, some music channels, and I just realised that all of the videos were identical. They were all either like, gig footage or they had people

Close Enemies is released on 11th November and the album Evolution Of Man will be released on 19th November.

“It’s not like I got him in the

21

11 Weird Societies WORDS: JOSEPH SMITH / TOM JOHNSON

We all know that University is a time to find yourself, a time for growth and self discovery. But most of all, it’s a time to make large groups of friends, and then proceed to wrestle them in custard. Yep, Uni Societies are an odd bunch, sometimes...

The Jedi Council

As members of one of the world's fastest growing religions, followers of the Jedi Church deserve all the spiritual guidance facilitated to other beliefs; it's great to see that some universities are already forming their own Jedi Councils.

(Liverpool John Moores Uni)

The Assassins' Guild (Sheffield Uni)

Chocolate Society (UCL)

This is a great society to join if you've just went through a particularly emotional break up; if things are really bad you might want to organize a joint night out with the Ice Cream and Tearfully Punching a Pillow Society.

22

She ffi eld Ass ass ins are quick to point out tha t they're not a band of blo od thirsty murderers but the organisers of innovativ e rea l tim e gam es wh ich inv olv e 'as sas sin ati ng' other members with fak e weapons. Sounds pretty coo l anyway though.

Zombie Society (Bristol Uni)

Rock, Paper, (Bath Uni) Scissors Society

+ + Stitch, Bitch & ) Bake (Northumbria Uni es, Do you love cak ng gi ag sl patchwork and r ei th nd hi be people off y et ci so is th at ll We back? e os th you can enjoy all of e. ac pl me sa things in the body It's amazing how no e, for be it of t gh ou th has e th in why wasn't this Olympics?

If you're one of the paranoid (some would say smart) few who worry constantly about what would happen if a zombie outbreak occurred. If you look at our picture of Zombie Pat Sharp, then you can see that this would be a terrifying ordeal. Don’t worry though, Uni of Bristol's Zombie Soc can help you prepare for the inevitable.

Their training exercises involve Nerf soft dart guns however; it's health and safety gone mad!

Can't decide who's buying the first round? Or whose turn it is to do the washing up? Or who gets to try it on first with the hottie at the bar? This lot never have that problem. RSI, multiple choice decisions and accidentally calling people a wanker who don’t realise you’re playing a game, however, are more pending issues...

dy sple ndid A down righ t bloosple ndidrding dy bloo t righ A down Acco ety. soci ding soun g rdin Acco ety. soci ge ding soun their website they “encoura gegs in oura “enc they ite webs theirenjo thin r fine yment of the ins and things fine themusi enjoymen wine c,r Fine Fine lifet. of and s wine Fine c, musi Fine life.liquors and above all, refined refined e all, imagine liquors can only One any”.abov compand imagsine only can One . een company” betw cros a like they all look een poly s betw cros aer like look they all Mono the and Heffn Hugh the and the Monopoly the Hugh man.Heffner man.

ety of The Sociof The Soci Pursuits lemae nly Gentety Uni) uits (Keel Purs nly Gentlema (Keele Uni)

+

Have you ever had All Bran? No? Well Have you had AllaBran it'sever ? ng No?a Well a bit like eati bowl full it's aofbit like a eati ng atast bowl matc full hsticks that e a bit like of matc + hsti cks that tastBut e a like stal bit like e Shre ddies. all good + stalecere Shre ddie s. come But like als good they withall a priz e.

The cereals they priz priz e income Thecraps thiswith caseabein ge. more prizethan in this case more a Vega s bein casigno.

Wecrap cans only + than assu a Vega casi no.ety Weiscan me sthis only soci full of very assume this regu of very larsoci peopety le, is allfull off thei r tits on regular peop le, all off their tits on Imod ium.

All Bra n (Glasgow Uni) Imod (Glasgow ium.

Bran

The The All Appreciation Uni) Appreciation Soc Soc

red One of the things generally requi requi allytion s gener thingrsity One ofofthe that you isred educa a unive you for that isng education of a unive books readi to start haversity formably books ng readi start to s with big words. Presu have adult mably Presu . words + big s with adultthis want a is a club for people who a + want who e peopl for club a . this is ature liter g break from challengin ature. g liter from rchall breakEithe re constantly or they' thatengin constantly they' or red r that Eithetoo see their tore even hamme see their even + to red hamme too & list. er ng readi tt e's Po cours y rr +Ha rews e's reading list.

And & y (StsUni eret cours Harry Pottci )

Gin So (St Andrew Gin Society Uni)

The aim of Nudism is to erase the The aim of Nudism to erase the it's stigma around is being naked and stigma around being naked and it's usually associated with flabby usually associated withbutflabby middle-aged people, if you're middle-aged but if you're going topeople, take advantage of all the goingalcohol to takethrown advantage of all the your at you during alcohol thrown at you during your student life the chances are that student life end the up chances you'll naked are in that front of you'll end up front anyway. of strangers naked quite inoften strangers quite often anyway.

Everything's at least 60% more fun y SocietEverything's Nudistiet least off.

60% more fun with yourat clothes ) y Nudist Soc(UWE with your clothes off.

(UWE)

+

+

+

+

Some would say that professional sional sayisthat would ing Some wrestl t sexual of devian full profes sexual t devian of full is ing wrestl ipants partic the t withou undertones partic the in td ones withou undert + gelatinous a ipants covere being + nous sly gelatiobviou a people covere beingdesser those t, dbutin sly obviou people those but t, desser s nature seriou the don't understand nature s seriou the tand unders don'tof ing. wrestl d custar like sport a ing. d wrestl custar like tely sport a + of all.

At silly. isn't g defini in This tl Wres g This ard Cu + stWr silly. At all. estlin rdiff Uni) definitely isn't

d ety (Ca ) arci CustSo Society (Cardiff Uni

23

12

Days of Christmas

12 awesome prizes to be won, every other day during December...

1 6

WIN

Al Murray “The Only Way is Epic� DVD

7

11 12 16

Keep Checking Our Facebook Page

3 8 Concert Tickets?

Digital Camera? iPod?

24

9

5 WIN

An Amazon Kindle Fire

14 15

18 19 20

21 22 23 To enter just visit our facebook page during December for the latest competitions:

4

To Find Out More!

25

www.facebook.com/ wirelessmagazine

WORDS: MAX KENNEDY

THE STAVES ...on travel, moustaches and making friends with pandas.

Three years ago I saw 3 sisters from Watford c a p t i v a t e a n unsuspecting audience in the small venue in Portsmouth; last week they played Wembley arena to 12,000 people “It's a completely different animal, I was worried it might be scary- but in the big ones it's kind of easier to zone out and get into your own world; it was mad,” says the youngest of the siblings, Camilla Staveley-Taylor.

(See what they did there'Staves'/'Staveley'?)

The newly released single, 'Tongue Behind My Teeth', took the girls to Spain for the video- “It's where they shot all the Westerns, like Fist Full of Dollars; all the sets are still there. It was really fun. We all said 'imagine if we could make a Cowboy video?!' Have a day's shooting and mess around and dress up in the 45 degree heat,” Armed with guns and samurai swords it's clear that while the band might look and sound like indiescene sweethearts, they're a force to be reckoned with.

Unfortunately, interviews can't be all fun and games, someone had touch on the more pressing issues: Cowboys or Pirates?

“I feel like a pirate would be more fun, get to travel more- see “Sometimes it takes people by m o r e A surprise and has the effect of places. while ago I went and making them listen...” travelled beautiful blood-harmonies around India for a few months are becoming harder and and the girls went to harder to escape from. But Thailand. I'd really like to why would you want to? With go to rural China, normally Bon Iver and Tom Jones when we think of China we amongst their fans, you'd be think about the big cities a fool to deny such vocal but it would be amazing to perfection. see how the nature is there

The Staves are swiftly becoming a name to remember, with their exquisite debut album on the shelves and some TV appearances under their belts, their hauntingly

and people living really simple lives; disappear into the Chinese wilderness and befriend a panda, naturally.”

Movember- friend or foe?

“I think that every boy reaches a time when they decide to experiment with facial hair- sometimes it's good, but often it's very very bad. But if you can raise some money for a good cause then go for it, handlebar it up!”

Camilla and her band have a phenomenal talent in making audiences forget about their Facebook notifications and Twitter feeds whilst on stage. “I think it's the three part harmonies; maybe it's because you don't hear it that much, sometimes that takes people by surprise and has the effect of making them listen” It's a sense of innocent escapism that is increasingly hard to find these days, and it's something they've cultivated with the wisdom of artists far their senior.

The Staves' debut album 'Dead & Born & Grown' is available now and if you love music and don't own it, then have a word with yourself.

25

·Gap Year Ideas ·10 Places NOT To Go ·Volunteering Ideas ·Bear Grylls ·Gap Year On A Budget ·Competitions!!!

In association with

Find out more info at our website:

www.wirelessmag.co.uk/travel 27

gap year ideas. six of the best ways to travel the world In a nutshell?:

Pelican is a class A tall ship that regularly crosses the Atlantic and visits destinations all over the world. Booking a holiday on the ship means becoming a trainee member of the crew and actually helping to sail it.

How much?:

Varies depending on the voyage. See website

Anything else?: Bursaries are available for 16 to 25 year olds to help with the cost. See website for details!

T.S. Pelican

Contact: www.adventureundersail.com

In a nutshell?: Company specialising in adventure holidays and tours in North America. 3 to 64 day holidays promise the freedom of the open road and the adventure of a lifetime.

How much?: Mini-holidays go from around £500 while 9 week treks can cost up to £5000.

Anything else?: Voted best tour operator to the USA in this year’s British Travel Awards.

Trek America

Contact: www.trekamerica.com

In a nutshell?:

An award winning travel company which provides once in a lifetime trips for both blind & sighted people. Sighted travellers can holiday at a 50% discount in return for providing visual descriptions for their blind fellow trekkers.

How much?:

Sighted traveller holidays vary from £500 - £2000

Anything else?:

Traveleyes 28

A further 20% discount for students!

Contact: Tel: 08448 040 221 Email: info@traveleyes-international.com Website www.traveleyes-international.com

In a nutshell?:With jobs for graduates in the UK becoming scarcer by the day, GET Australia offers comprehensive support and ease for those who want to live and work in Australia.

The package will first of all help with flights and will then help participants settle into life down under, by assisting them in finding a job!

How much?: Prices from £369 Anything else?:

Get Australia

GET Australia has a dedicated office in Sydney which participants can use as often as they please for a whole range of support, whilst in Australia.

Contact: http://www.getaustralia.com/

In a nutshell?: Camp

America gives the opportunity for young people to spend their summer in the USA, working on a childrens summer camp. Participants are also given the opportunity to travel wherever they please, afterwards. The role is great for personal development and you’re guaranteed to make plenty of great friendships along the way.

How much?: Prices from £587

Anything else?:

Camp America

Camp America has been going for over 40 years and is the market leader in sending young people to camp each summer.

Contact: http://www.campamerica.co.uk/

In a nutshell?: A website that provides expert advice in planning round the world trips helping you book flights, accommodation and activities.

How much?: Options are available for budgets from under £1000 to over £2000.

Anything else?: Regular updates on the best deals.

perts Round The World Ex

Contact: www.roundtheworldexperts.co.uk

For loads more Gap Year Ideas, visit our website at

www.wirelessmag.co.uk/travel 29

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original adventures since 1972

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. for details See below

New trend for shorter breaks paves way for the ‘Snap Year’

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t’s a rite of passage in which school leavers take a breather and broaden their horizons before starting university. But with rising tuition fees and an unstable economy, the dynamic of the ‘Gap Year’ is changing.

The ‘Snap Year’ concept is simple: Experience a year’s worth of travels in just a few months. And most are able to do just that by using the long summers to travel, causing little or no interruption to their studies.

But where to start?

Going it alone?

A great option for those considering embarking on the Snap Year alone is to join a small group tour. The group size means it’s not too overwhelming, and experiences such as camping or cooking food together mean lifelong friendships are soon formed.

The demand is increasing for shorter experiences; only 8% of travellers took a trip lasting more than 4 months in 2011. However, students still want a way to have the all the fun of a gap year experience without feeling like they’ve missed out. Make way for the ‘Snap Year’.

The world is an enormous place, with literally millions of options for the Snap Year traveller, so it’s no wonder people find it hard to narrow it down. One of the most popular locations amongst ‘Snap Year-ers’ is the USA, due to its incredible National Park landscapes, buzzing cities, friendly locals and of course moreish food. It also helps that the locals happen to speak English too!

How long have you got?

Up to 6 weeks...

Unlimited!

Grand trek – Fast and furious, you’ll circumnavigate the continental United States, spending six weeks travelling coast to coast through the southern states, then back through the north. Mountains, beaches and canyons, ensure an incredible journey.

trailblazer – The Full Monty! From the Wild West to the vibrant East, the thrilling North to the Deep South, this 9 week all-encompassing cross-country adventure will blow your socks off!

Up to 2 weeks... westerner 2 – Soak up the natural wonders of the west including the Grand Canyon and Yosemite National Park, all sandwiched between 4 of the west’s most buzzing cities; San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego and Las Vegas!

Prices from £999

Prices from £3859

Visit: www.trekamerica.com for or call 0844 576 1366.

more details

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Prices from £2669

With trips lasting from 3-64 days, TrekAmerica offers a perfect Snap Year experience. Students can see the best bits of the USA with the convenience of a small group, getting off the beaten path to see as much as possible in a short space of time. Plus with trips designed for 18-38 year olds, travellers are like-minded and all share the same goal: To have a great time!

You could win a trip of a lifetime on our Westerner 2 tour, so you can see the best of the west in 2 weeks. Go to www.trekamerica.com/wireless

VOLUNTEER WORK! It’s better than working in Maccies.

Words: Tom Johnson

In the UK alone each year, over 22 million people volunteer their time, helping out with projects both at home and abroad. It’s not all about selling broken toys and dusty

books at the local Brownies jumble sale though, these days there are a huge range of opportunities available to young people. You could visit countries you would never dream of going to, while at the same time helping out the most vulnerable and destitute members of the local community. From teaching kids in Uganda, to working at a Mexican orphanage this is a personally rewarding experience that you can walk away from with your head held pretty bloody high. And of course, once work has finished, you can crack open a beer, sit back and look at the awesome sight surrounding you. It’s something everyone should try at least once...

International Citizen Service As a government run initiative, ICS is probably the UK’s biggest overseas volunteering program. You could spend 10 to 12 weeks in one of several countries around the world, across Asia, Africa, Latin America or the Middle East. Roles can involve anything from healthcare to farming to I.T. Nice...

Phone the ICS team on 0208 780 7400 or visit www.ics-uk.org.uk • facebook.com/ics

Real Gap - Sports Volunteering If you’re more of a kick-about kind of person, you like a cheeky tennis rally or a you’re a dab hand with a cricket bat, maybe this is the opportunity for you. Real Gap have set up Sports Volunteer programs in Malawi and South Africa. Teaching kids who’ve never kicked a ball, you’ll look like Ronaldo to them...

Visit www.realgap.co.uk/sports-volunteering or call 01892 882 736

Agape - Teach Music in Ghana Do you know your paradiddles from your rim shots? Your arpeggios from your fingering? These are musical terms you filthy thing. If you knew that, then this might be the trip for you. For anything up to a year you could be teaching youngsters either one to one, or in groups. Teach them more than three chords and we could have the next Green Day on our hands...

Visit www.agape-volunteers.com or call 0845 519 8469

Kaya - Wildlife & Animal Volunteers Everyone, literally, everyone loves monkeys. If you don’t, you’re probably a closet serial killer or a Justin Bieber fan.

So why not help out at a primate sanctuary in Vietnam or South Africa? Or maybe learn to Scuba dive while working with marine conservationists. There could be worse ways to spend a year.

Visit www.kayavolunteer.com or call 0161 870 6212 If you want something a bit closer to home, check out www.csv.org.uk, which is an organisation aimed at volunteering around the UK. Go on, have a look...

32

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(TITLE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION....) words: Dave Toft (TITLE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION....) words: Dave Toft After finishing university everything they eat, they AfterI finishing meat meat perhaps once once a realised I university had long a lot have of have perhaps a I realised I had long a and lot of year year at Christmas and work sitting around hadn't at Christmas and work sitting around from from sunrise to sunset.

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It's easy to “Without easy access internet forget, as someone A couple later here I It's or of TV,months the people valueeasy real,tow iforget, t h a as wellsuccessfully signed up for someone with a wellhuman contact...” developed country the International Citizen developed country toback go back to go to that Service and nowofI'm here later in to here A couple months I that many many peoplepeople here live day by the middle of Africa live day at theof mercy successfully signed in up for day,by atday, the mercy economic of economic the International Citizen and climate change. and “Without easy access internet climate change.

Service and now I'm here in or TV, the people here value real, the middle of Africa in The whole experience has human contact...” h e w h o -l e Rwanda, land of a thousand beenT challenging to be Rwanda, land of a thousand e x p eaway r i e nfrom c e hthe a s comforts b e e n of hills, scarred by its hills, scarred by its but be away from challenging tobeneficial. history of genocide home- but When I history of genocide but to the comforts of home - but impressively looking return home I know I will impressively to beneficial. return leave thislooking past far behind. rememberWhen theseI experiences leaveI've this been past getting far behind. home and I know I will I'm remember to grips people. not sure I've with been getting grips these experiences everyday to life for the what will stick inand my mind with local everyday lifehere for and theitspeople.

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33

BBEEAARR GRYLLS GRYLLS A QUICK CHAT WITH THE MODERN DAY LIVINGSTONE...

A QUICK CHAT WITH THE MODERN DAY LIVINGSTONE...

When we first had the been far from idle since the been far from idle since the and When idea we first had thea gap show's cancellation of running show's cancellation andrecent one of his idea year of running gap travel a issue we of his most most one recent p r o j e c t s w as an year were travelfaced issuewith we the p r o jinternational ects w a s live a n tour. were tricky faced problem with of thewho international to The stagelive tour. has production tricky problem of who to The stage has ask for expert advice. been aproduction huge success and now ask for been aGrylls huge success andtonow is about make his We expert didn't advice. want to send GryllsTV iscomeback: about to make his We didn't want to sendtykes you vulnerable TV comeback: “Our big new tv you half vulnerable tykes way across the “Our for bigNBCnew tv Alive Get Out half world way across on the the word series of series for NBC Get Out Alive in America starts filming worldsome on jumped-up, the word pseudoof in America starts filming soon so we are prepping for some jumped-up, cultured pseudosuper-toff soon so we are that.

I prepping am firedfor up! And cultured super-toff that. that I am has fired up! And though.

No, the man for always been the though.

No, the man for that has always been the the job would have to key to an interesting key to an interesting the job have to the life.” havewould traversed life.” have w o traversed the An interesting life rld's tallest An interesting lifeof an be something w o r lmountains, d ' s t a lcrossed l e s t its may may be something of understatement inanBear's mountains, crossed its hottest deserts, fucked understatement Bear's case; the inmulti-lingual, hottest deserts, fucked case; country-hopping, the multi-lingual, with the most dangerous ex-army with the most dangerous country-hopping, ex-army jungles and consumed Karate expert has an jungles and consumed Karate expertpretty has close an to a existence moisture straight from “The world is moisture existence prettyJames close Bond, to a if a straight from “The world is real-life the intestines of a dead real-life James Bond,classy if a (no truly full of the intestines little less a dead camel.

It of turns out Chuck truly full of little less classy (noyou're offence Bear, but It turns Chuck wasout busy on the incredible placescamel.

- Norris

offence but for you're notBear, known drinking was busy campaign on the trail incredible places - NorrisRepublican not known for drinking Martinis!).

Bear Grylls so set time aside campaign trail but fortunately we got the Martinis!).

Bearbooks Grylls so set time aside Republican could fill with his but fortunately we got the next best thing... to plan, work out could adventures, fill books and withluckily his for next best thing... to plan, work out adventures, luckily for have us, he and has.

Past works a budget, get It's been both a good and us, he has.

Past works have included a series of a budget, get It's been both afor good and survivalist bad year included a series of for adventure stories working to savebad year for survivalist superman Bear Grylls. The adventure for working to save c h i l d stories ren, gru elling The this low Bear pointGrylls. came earlier what you need, superman c h i l d r e n , g r u e l l i n g accounts of his real-life low point earlier this yearcame when his show Man vs. what you need, accounts of his real-life adventures in the arctic year when his show Man vs. then hit the Wild (Born Survivor in the adventures in highly the arctic and his successful then hit the Wild (Born Survivor in the UK) was dropped by the and his highly successful road...” UK) was autobiography, Mud, Sweat dropped by the Discovery Channel due toautobiography, a road...”

Mud, Sweat And Tears.

The most current Discovery Channel due to a “continuing contractual

And Tears.

The most current publication, and one that “continuing contractual dispute”.

The exact reason publication, and one that you'll want for Christmas dispute”.

The exact reason for the parting was never you'll want for Christmas if you're planning your own for the parting never made clear, was but one thingif isyou're planning your own adventure, is A Survival made clear, but one thing is for sure, true to his adventure, Survival Guide is ForA Life.

Here Bear for sure, true to his survivor moniker, Bear has Guide For Life.

Here has taken someBear of the survivor moniker, Bear has has taken some of the

34

knowledge he has gained in transition from urban life knowledge he has gained in death transition fromsurvivalist urban life must terrifying life or to lone terrifying life or situations anddeath applied to to lone b e survivalist a d i f f i cmust ult one situations and applied to face b e a however. d i f f i c Does u l t Bear o n e ever the challenges people the challenges people face however.

Does Bear ever in everyday life. Where do take any home comforts in everyday life.

Where do take any ahome comforts you find the strength to into survival situation?

No, we’re not about to take you find theonstrength to are into a “Yes, survival situation? carry when things I take my iPhone No, for we’re not about to take carry looking on when bleak? thingsHow aredo you “Yes, Imusic take and my iPhone for films and always you furniture shopping looking bleak? How do people you music and films always motivate other to a book tooand - but that's you for wfurniture i t h t h e shopping big man, motivate people to times a bookthe too travel - but that's w i t h(although t h e b i we’re g m a npretty , pullother together when in andfor out bit. pull together when Answers times the inget andinto out the bit.actual are tough? to travel Once I (although we’re pretty sure even Bear could get are tough?

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The world is t h e first w o r lpermanent d's truly full of incredible “Many.But In that's fact too full of many! ok -truly I places so incredible set time aside to first ipermanent n s e c t many! have But noticed that's how ok the - I more places so set time aside to get I plan, work out a budget, i n sr e e pc e tl l -i n g have noticed more I that plan, work out ato budget, travel how thethelonger working save get what you r e p clothing e l l i n g line, travellist the becomes! longer that working tothen savehit what you Travel need the road! clothing c a line, l l e d list inspires becomes! travel Travelso need hit the road! be then “I ran some self defence c a l l repellent e d inspires travel so be “I ran some self defence Nosilife.

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It was the matter how much you wash shows and that is a country gap year. theto matter howit. much you wash and I always love being in.” had my first timeItIwas got see wear I always love being in.” first Everest time I in gotthetoflesh see and I it. wear Everest in the flesh and I and Born Survivor was marred vowed one day to return For your chance to win one of Born Survivor was marred vowed one day to return and by allegations of faked climb it!”

For your chance to Bear win one of sun five sets of Grylls by allegations of faked climb it!” scenes, the most popular of So there you go: your five own sets of Bear Grylls sun scenes, the most of So there youis go:a your which was popular the accusation heart good own starting protective, quick-drying and protective, quick-drying and which that was the is a good Bearaccusation would stay heart in point and starting so is India. moisture managing clothing, moisture that Bear would stay out in most point We're and sonot is India. tell us: clothing, hotels.

It turns sure about justmanaging just tell us: hotels.

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Text COMPS5 plus your answer makingt r the a n s pshow a r e nmore t. The Text COMPS5 plustoyour answer and name 07786 202 430. transparent. The

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and name 07786 202 430.

Textstoare your normal network Texts charge. are your normal network charge.

The set includes Bear Grylls The set includes Bear Grylls Survival Trousers and LongSurvival Trousers Long-worth sleeved Trek and shirt, sleeved Trek shirt, worth £135, so give it a go! £135, so give it a go!

35

GAP YEAR, ON A BUDGET Times are hard and not everyone can afford to go travelling on a gap year. But what are gap years really about? Making the most of your short time on this beautiful planet? Broadening your mind through experiencing a

multitude of different cultural viewpoints? Or is it about amassing an impressive collection of Facebook photos to boast about? Fortunately you don't even have to leave Britain to create the holiday snaps you need to back up your bull shit travel stories. Here are some falsified gap year photos we took right here in depressing small town Blighty.

At the Eiffel Tower, Paris

top of a Standing on Jungle is Massive cliff or a hill

A quick trip to Blackpool, a delightful beret and a hefty grin, and who’d know you weren’t staying in France? Infact this is even better, as you can go on terrifying old rollercoasters, get your palm read, and buy edible knickers from a vending machine...

Eating Some of The Local Exotic Food

Enjoying the famous Landmarks Oh, didn't you know there was more than one Taj Mahal? We saw the real Taj Mahal, not that over-hyped tourist trap in India. A must-see, especially for anyone within five miles of Waterloo.

36

Standing on top of a cliff or a hill

Yes, it would be quite an experience to brave the Amazon Rainforest and to see all that wildlife surrounding you. But in all fairness, it pisses down in Britain most of the time, so you’re halfway there already.

Get on your long shorts, visit your local garden centre and turn on the sprinklers for that real authentic feel.

Courtesy of one of the many sushi franchises that populate every city in the western world. You know what you very rarely hear people say? “Wow, those curried ants tasted better than a Big Mac, it really filled me up and the dog’s bollock pudding tasted at least as good as I thought it was going to”.

Or a sand dune. It's all the same right?

Just look longingly into the middle distance. The idea is to symbolise your spiritual journey in this photo, so that you can talk about how deep you are at the student union bar. The chicks will love it.

The monkey is entirely optional though.

WIN A 2 WEEK TRIP IN WESTERN USA! Do you fancy hiking the Grand Canyon and Yosemite? Or walking the Golden Gate Bridge? Maybe just a spot of sightseeing around San Francisco and San Diego? Of course you do. Well Wireless Magazine has teamed up with Trek America and UCAS to bring you this humdinger of a competition!

• Two Weeks Trekking Around Western USA • Highlights include city tours of Hollywood, sunset sailboat cruise of San Francisco Bay, walk amongst Giant Sequoias trees in Yosemite, and loads more.

• All transportation by private adventure vehicle • Camping and equipment provided At The Golden Gate Bridge, wish you were here x

Just visit www.wirelessmag.co.uk/trek (or scan the QR code) and fill in the contact details, but make sure you tell them that you saw the competition in Wireless Magazine!

Win a trip anywhere in Europe! courtesy of

We are giving you the chance to win a trip anywhere in Europe, completely paid for. You can take your loved one or, if you prefer, go off on your own to find some mates. We will pay up to £200 towards flights (if you book in advance this is enough to go anywhere in Europe) and £100 towards accommodation (more than enough for a nice private room in any European hostel for two nights).

To enter, just head on round to www.wirelessmag.co.uk/sendmybag or scan the QR code No silly questions, not even a word search or a spot the difference contest. You just need to give us your contact details and tell us where you want to go!

We’ll announce the winner on our Facebook Page at the end of December. Good luck!

37

what superpower would S S A M THE you want, and what DEBATE would you do with it...?

(warning: contains real life opinions of some rather vulgar people)

Daniel, Manchester Wireless: Hello Daniel, so what Superpower would you want?

Daniel: The ability to time travel.

Wireless: Fair enough, and what would you do with that??

Daniel: I'd warn Anne Boleyn not to get involved, I'd persuade Hitler to stick to painting and I'd go back to last Thursday so I could pay my phone bill on time...

Michael, Manchester Wireless: What Superpower would you want, and what would you do with it?

Michael: The power to turn into any material and to regenerate limbs. That way I could turn in to a doughnut, eat myself, regenerate and repeat.

Simon, Sheffield

Danny, Liverpool

Wireless: What Superpower would you want, and what would you do with it?

Simon: I would want China. I would implement reforms to make it less corrupt and more fair.

Wireless: What Superpower would you want, and what would y o u d o w i t h i t ?

Danny: Lets be honest the best ever superpower that a guy could have is to shape shift. I could be Prince William for a day and spend it with Kate riding you like donkey in a roller coaster.

Wireless: Very good Simon. Very good.

Nicky, Sunderland Wireless: Hello Nicky, so tell us what Superpower would you want?

Nicky: Invisibility...

Wireless: Any particular reason?

Nicky: Imagine all the perving I could do with it, mwahahaha!

Carl, Coventry

Wireless: What Superpower would you want, and what would you do with it?

Carl: I would wanna have to ability to turn into a chocolate bar. That way I Emily, New York Wireless: What Superpower can get inside any women.... w o u l d y o u w a n t ?

Wireless: Good luck with that one fella. Emily: To be able to teleport anywhere and at anytime! Could Matthew, Newcastle be at any gig/festival without paying, travel the world for Wireless: What Superpower would you want? free and see every major global Matthew: The power to know when people are event. Also if you are in a bad lying. situation you can disappear Wireless: Ok, and what would you do with it? haha Matthew: I'd use it to be really smug...

38

Alan, Liverpool Wireless: Hi Alan, what Superpower would you want?

Alan: I'd want the power to fart glitter.

THE 20 QUID BEST ANSWER!

Wireless: Rightio, and what would you do

with that??

Alan: Imagine all the chicks that I'd get!

Wireless: Erm...

Alan: Also, maybe to understand ladies better.

Joseph, Liverpool Wireless: Hello Joseph, what Superpower would you want young man?

Joseph: The ability to e a t s p a g h e t t i gracefully Wireless: Ok then, and what would you do with that?

Alan: I'd use it to eat loads of spaghetti.

Wireless: Brilliant.

Mark, Coventry Wireless: Hello Mark, what Superpower would you want young man?

Mark: How about the ability to stop time?

Wireless: Nice, and what would you do with that?

Alan: I'd go out on a Saturday night, stop time, remove ALL the clothes off ALL the ladies, pile them up, grab a rum and coke then put time back into effect.

The WTF moment/scramble/mass of jiggling boobies fighting to the stage would be absolutely hilarious. And only slightly perverted.

NEXT MONTH: WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH? Assuming the Mayans AREN’T right, our favourite answer will get 20 quid!

Text 07930 496 605 or email massdebate@ukstudentmedia.net texts are your standard network charge.

39

get the look:

WINTER STYLE

words and styles: steve jordan and clare barry

As much as we could swear that it was still August just yesterday, the season of merriment and bitter weather descended upon us while we weren't looking.

As the temperature decreases, the sherry consumption increases and the amount of times you hear Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas" frankly makes you want to kick small children, Wireless has one suggestion to help you commandeer the winter months with a level head- and that suggestion is: Layering. Original, we know.

Far from being a once shameful memory in the back of your parents' closet, the revival of the festive jumper has landed as a student fashion staple this winter, complimented with knits and boots that will allow you to roam the streets both stylishly and as snug as a bug in a rug.

girls look The Girl's look this season is about layering a few simple, classic garments against one bold statement knit. Keep your pins and your torso toasty in some neutral skinny jeans and a tailored denim shirt- but tis' the season, so set the look off by layering with a bold festive print cardigan and some chunky knit accessories to channel your inner winter kitsch.

Portobello Stripe Fairisle Capped Glove

by Accessorize £12 www.accessorize.com

Belted Canvas Colour Skinny Jean in Brown

by Pilot, £25.99 www.pilotfashion.com

Denim Shirt with Collar Detail

by Miss Selfridge £36

Zip Through Hooded Parka

by ASOS £60 www.asos.com Fairisle Cardigan

by Next £35 www.next.co.uk

lads look For lads, no winter look is complete without a statement Christmas jumper but this season try teaming your print of choice with a solid neutral duffle coat, some slim fit jeans and a pair of tan boots. Naturally, the eyes will be drawn to the jumper, but layering with neutral earthy tones will make you look stylish and warm while still being novel and festive.

Navy Polar Bear Fingerless Gloves

by Next £12 www.next.co.uk

Dark Purple Stretch Cord Jean

by Burton £40 www.burton.co.uk

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Canvas Tweed Hooded Jacket

by Burton £70 www.burton.co.uk

Christmas Jumper

by ASOS £30 www.asos.com

Flint Lace Boots

by Office £69.99 www.office.co.uk

Plain Buckle Ankle Boots

by Miss Selfridge, £45 www.missselfridge.com

and accessorise...

Naturally, after you've festived yourself up to the eyeballs in boots and knits you're going to need some new accessories - or at least something to put on your Christmas wish list.

It's party season, so keep checking Urban Outfitters Casio Black Face Watch (£40.00) or Topshop's Brown Sepia Skull Watch (£12.00) to make sure you turn up fashionably late. No one wants to be the first one at the party.

Hate family parties? Up the stakes by making your grand entrance late AND drunk, starting the party with a bang by swigging from Topshop's Shot Gun Hip Flask (£7.00) before you even turn up.

Ladies, while you might not be able to grow a convincing moustache this Movember, you can sure as heck hang one round your neck like some sort of well groomed mock hairy pendant. This Mr Moustache Necklace Set is available from Topshop for £12.00.

Are you tired of going through life with a cold head and neck combo? Do you find the common scarf is just way too passé these days? Well for a mere £14.00 you could look a bit like a medieval knight in this lovely Grey Cable Snood, available from Topman.

Finally, girls, set off your party dress with a pair of statement earings. We particularly enjoy the range from Urban Outfitters, starting at £7.00 - but if you've been a particularly good girl this year, Santa might bring you the Maria Francesca Pepe Cross Plaque Earrings (£110.00)

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p a e Ch ! n I t h g i N End of the World Party You may have forgotten about it by now but according to ancient Mayan prophecy, December 21st is officially the end of the world.

Granted that Mayan calendars weren’t accurate enough to contain the right amount of days in a year, and that their powers of prediction didn’t stretch to foreseeing the scurge of genocidal Spaniards who would wipe them out, what if the world really does end this year?

Well you’d better throw an amazing party just in case – all within a sensible budget of course. There’s no need to go crazy.

The Food In the extremely unlikely event that you survive the apocalypse food is going to be extremely scarce, so the best nibbles to have at your party are going to be ones that keep well as leftovers.

Fortunately, imperishable

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goods also tend to be dirt cheap. Why not make a mountain of those 25p noodle packs you get from discount shops? Anything that comes dried or tin makes a good end of the world ration.

Pizza from a bad takeaway will last for years without decomposing and choosing pineapple as a topping makes it kind of Mayan as well.

Instead of paper plates, for an authentic postapocalyptic feel you can use cleaned out tin cans as food receptacles.

Decorations Any disaster situation needs to have rolling headlines playing in the background so make sure all the TVs are set to a 24 hour news channel.

Being able to countdown the last few seconds of existence is going to be important so move every clock in your house into one room and make sure they’re all synched, if they have alarms even better.

The Drinks The best thing about the Apocalypse is not having to fear a hangover, so let yourself drink all that diabolical shit you’d usually avoid. This includes white cider, third rate vodkas (i.e. ‘Vlodka’ or ‘Bodka’) and anything with Jagermeister in it. Mixing your drinks should be vehemently encouraged (legal note: please drink responsibly).

A Few Esse ntial Suppli es...

Dressed for the occassion

If you’re going to follow the Mayan theme you might want to invest in some fake foliage or plastic palm trees. Noose decorations leftover from Halloween can be used to create a suicide room for partiers who want to leave early, although be sure to put them out of reach; a man in Milton Keynes nearly died this October when he didn’t quite get the joke and actually tried to use one.

Pick A Costume For an ancient Mayan costume try cutting a skull mask out of a cereal box and gluing some feathers to the top for a head dress. To really make it authentic, strip to your underwear and wear as much gold jewellery as possible.

The Mad Max look is another good costume idea and one that will prove popular with apocalypse survivors. For this costume all you have to do is not shave and rub soil into your clothes and face. Extra accessories can include a leather jacket and any future punk garb you have lying about.

Finally, you can always go for a zombie or mutant outfit which is a very easy costume, especially if you’re looking a bit dishevelled after staying up for three days worrying about mankind’s impending doom.

The Playlist This is the easy part. End of the world songs aren’t hard to think of but here’s a list to start you off: The Final Countdown – Europe; It’s The End Of The World As We Know It – REM; Our Time Is Running Out – Muse; My Way – Frank Sinatra; The End – The Doors.

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