Human Experiment

Human Experiment

by Anna Suhr

for Macie Tanya Matt Papa Rick Tatiana Aimee Taelor Livie I am so blessed to know y’all.

Human E

We know many people. Strangers, we may know their hair color or eye color, if we observe closely.

Acquaintances, we may know their last name and what car they drive.

Friends, we may know their birthday or what their grandparents’ house looks like, depending on how close we are. Family, we may know their favorite color or how they like their coffee. But are bullet-point facts what define a human? I believe there is so much unknown because there is so much unasked. Inspired by Brandon Stanton’s work of Humans of New York, I took a step further. Instead of questioning strangers, I confronted the people I “know” with deeper questions in order for me to know them. I spoke with people I have known for six months to twenty years. I spoke with people that I set my mat next to in yoga to a past coworker. I spoke with people ranging from six to eighty-seven years old.

My hopes were to know people at their core, not to know their life story, but to ask unasked questions.

The pride associated with being vulnerable causes people to shut themselves off, build a wall, and sit comfortably in their comfort zone.

But in that place, we will not grow in our relationships or in ourselves. So I challenge you, as I have challenged myself, to know people.

Experiment

The phrase that has gotten me though nursing school is that “life goes on.” There has been so many times where I have felt uncomfortable or defeated, mainly from school. But if I just take a step back and think about it, life is going to go on and whatever situation I am currently in is not going to kill me. I know that it is kind of cliché, but I’ve found myself thinking that a lot lately.

Is that the same advice you plan to share with your future patients?

Yeah, I’ve never thought about it like that before, but I hope that is how my patients feel. It fits perfect for my patients now because I’m on the labor and delivery unit. I’ve been telling all of them to breathe and work through their pain, because they’re about to forget it all when they hold their newborn baby.

Is that the unit you hope to work on?

Yeah, I really like it. I know it doesn’t seem like much to my patients and their families, but it means the world to me to be there when they bring their babies into the world. It is such a special time for them, which is really cool to see. Yesterday, I helped with a C-section, and the doctor told me to go bring the father in. When I went and told him that we were ready, the look on his face was priceless. He was so excited to be a dad! Then, I saw the couple see their baby for the first time, which was really special. I guess I just really enjoy seeing people’s true emotions and the delivery room is a place that’s full of emotion.

Life goes on...

I am open and adventurous.

On my deathbed, I hope to look back on my life...

“knowing that I did and saw all that I could.�

What do you expect to look back on in five years from now?

Taking my MCATs, still working in the medical field, finishing my school payments, and getting married.

So you want to be settled?

Oh no, I am all over the place.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.

Psalms 40:1-5

This is a truly remarkable man, someone that I felt not only intrigued, but honored, to talk to. He has passions for people, yoga, words, coffee, and sermons. His schedule reflects just that, bouncing between seminary, the yoga studio, his internship at his church, and various Starbucks. The slimy pit filled with mud and mire of his suffering has been overcome with a new song filled with praise to our God. His is a story of strength, glory, and the love of the Lord. He learned to give his suffering to God. In return, he saw the wonders that are too many to declare.

Doctors cannot diagnose. Test results cannot reveal. Treatment cannot cure...

but faith can save.

young love

He can still tell me the story of their first date. They were six years old.

They went to the movies, except he refers to it as “the picture show.� He always makes a point of saying that you could get a Coke, snack, and two movie tickets for less than a dollar. Knowing him, he bought only one Coke, and they shared it.

They were holding hands when he felt a tap on his shoulder. When he turned, it was his mother. He says he jumped ten feet out of his seat. I have heard this story countless times, and not once does it get old.

Their love is unfathomable.

Tati Rick and I first met in 2004.

My best friend at the time, Carly, went to college with him and had thought he was cute. She told all of our friends that she had a major crush on the quiet, alternative, tall boy that always sat in the common area. One day, as a joke, a mutual friend went up to the quiet, alternative boy and gave him Carly’s number. He told him Carly thought he was cute and he should call her...and one day he did.

They set up a “date” (quotation marks because she was sure it was a date but he swears it wasn’t) to meet up for coffee at a local, hipster coffee house.

Carly suffers from very bad anxiety and at the anticipation of finally going out on a date with the boy she’d been lusting after for months, she freaked and asked me to come along.

I said yes. Day of the “not a date” comes. He is sitting in the back in a vest and tie, drinking a hot chocolate.

We all had a good time, talking and getting to know each other. Turned out we had a lot in common, all three of us. When I asked him if he had a girlfriend he said “sort of.” This is a topic of much debate to this day. He swears he never said that, and I know, for a fact, he did because Carly and I gossiped about it for days afterwards.

Needless to say, Rick and Carly never hit it off - he doesn’t like white bitches. But we all became really good friends. A few years later, after having sworn off men who are jerks and/or crazy, and after remembering a hook up we had when we were both drunk (which was a surprisingly good,

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drunken, naked, pool party hookup real great story for the grandkids), I decided that I wanted a nice guy, and he was the nicest guy I knew. I already knew we had sexual chemistry as well as regular chemistry. We got along.

We liked the same things. He already knew all my craziness. I never hid that stuff from him because I never had a reason to. We skipped over all the “best behavior” bullshit most people have to deal with. So, I claimed him as my piece and we’ve been together ever since, coming up on seven years.

Thank God I found him. He really is my soul mate. Even though he drives me crazy, I would not want anyone else driving me nuts but him.

Rick My first year of college was a fairly tough one on me. The majority of my friends had all gone away to out-of-state schools. I became a

red

townie saving money at community college. I spent a lot of my time sitting in the campus commons area, always in the same spot. One day, a guy came over and handed me a piece of paper, with the name Carly and a phone number. He said, “My

place we were both very familiar with, Van Gogh’s Ear Cafe in Union, NJ. I was the brooding, “hangs-out-in-adimly-lit-coffee-shop-reading-deepbooks-while-writing-in-my-journal” hipster type. But back then, it was called emo. Carly arrived with her best friend, Tati. She wasn’t aware I had no interest in this being a date. That said, I have no idea why you would bring your much more attractive friend to hang out with you the first time you meet someone you are potentially interested in. I had seen Carly in the commons, but I had never seen Tati before. I remember thinking immediately that she was hot. Like really hot. The three of us chatted for a few hours, and had a tone of fun. At some point, we exchanged screen names because that is what 19 year olds did then (along with searching for the perfect music quote or ironic thing to say in your away message). Tati’s screen

friend likes you. You should give her a call.” I was pretty taken aback at first, but I accepted the note and said, “Sorry, I have a girlfriend.”

But about a week or two after I had been given Carly’s number, I had an argument with my girlfriend. I had nothing to do, so I figured, why not give her a call? I wasn’t looking for a romantic connection, but I could use some friends. I called Carly, and she seemed to be extremely shy but cool. We decided to meet up at a

name was “shewantsaRiot.” Mine was “thegearsshift.” Holy shit, we were lame. By the time I got home, Tati had already added me. We talked, joked, and sent witty banter back and forth. Before I knew it, it was four am, and I was exhausted. Somehow, I had spent at least four hours glued to a computer screen talking to a girl I just met about pretty much everything that had ever happened in my life and hers. This was only the first of a lot of long, late night conversations.

“I remember thinking immediately that she was hot. Like really hot.”

“a vet

Liv, how old are you?

I am six years old.

Do you know what do you want to be when you grow up?

terinarian.�

Why do you want to be a veterinarian?

I love puppies and cats, especially my dog Buddy.

What do you like most about him?

He is soft and very cute.

What brings you confidence?

I am confident when people around me are happy. I think it says a lot when people around you are laughing a little harder, smiling a little more, and just generally enjoying life more. Relationships are really important to me. If those around me are happy, I am confident I am the kind of person they enjoy being around. Then, I have the right to be confident in the person I am.

When you aren’t around people are you less confident?

Yes, unfortunately. In my faith I am trying to learn that I need nothing outside of Jesus to be...

whole and fully confident in whom I am created to be.

I would definitely say I am in a better place than I was a year ago, but I also think this will be something I will be working on forever.

Our conversations consist of maybe 85% my words and 15% hers. Sure, our relationship is based on her listening and me speaking.

She knows me better than I know myself, and I know very little about her.

Her 15% of input is worth more than 15,000 hours worth of my words. She’s my therapist, a very good one at that. So, I shut my mouth and opened my ears.

There are absolutely hours or days that I feel tired or drained because the things people share with me can be tough, and it simply takes a lot of energy to be focused intently with different people all day, but I love my job. So even when I am tired at the end of the day, I feel fulfilled and grateful that I get to hear so many people’s stories. Also, I am very careful to take care of myself. I take time to play outside, exercise, be alone, read, write, sleep, and even watch TV. If I take care of myself, then I am much better equipped to take care of others and not get worn out.

Who do you turn to for your own therapy or “counseling�?

It depends on the issue, but I definitely rely on a few close friends to keep me grounded, cry with me, and remind me of truth when I have a hard time seeing it myself. I also have my own therapist that I check in with periodically when I need an outside perspective. As a therapist I believe it is very important, not only to seek my own therapy when I need it, but also just to be reminded of what it is like to sit on the other side of the room. I might be biased, but I think we all could use a little therapy from time to time.

On a hike in Maine this past summer, I found it fascinating how I placed my feet compared to the way my brother did in front of me. In the split seconds between raising my foot and setting it on the ground, my mind took into account the roots and rocks enabling it to make the miraculously quick decision of where to place my next step.

Our words are very similar. We try to “think before we speak.� But more common than not, the words have left our mouths before we consider the statement we are responding to.

Those milliseconds say a lot about us.

Our words may not always be chosen carefully, but they are the expression of our selves.

Maybe this project was completed just because it was assigned. Maybe it was an excuse for me to talk to people I admire and find interesting. But maybe it was done because what they had to say was more important than what I already knew.

Human Experimen

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Who do you know?