Is Your Heart a Crime Scene? By Tiffany Kameni When we hear 'crime scene,' most of us venture out in our imagination and envision a body surrounded by yellow tape, forensic and crime scene investigators. We imagine camera flashes, interviews and a crowd standing around, being held guard by officers who do not want the scene contaminated. We just imagine a scene of chaos. Because that's what it is. For every breath we take, we have much to be thankful for. But, the condition of our hearts will determine whether we are thankful, prideful or vengeful as a result of the hand we've been dealt. And most of us have been dealt, what we feel to be an unfair hand, but in truth, had you not had to deal with such adversity, you wouldn't know how to survive. Who hurt you? How do you see them right now? What would you like to see happen to or for them? Do you believe that you have completely healed from the blows that were served? What is your definition of forgiveness? And does it match GOD's heart of forgiveness? These are questions that we should be asking ourselves on a daily basis. The HOLY GHOST convicts us, but many of us have become so numb to correction that we don't know HIS Voice from our own. So, many ignore HIM. Many go on living, thinking that their life is acceptable to GOD because they haven't killed anyone, or they have ministered to thousands, so they must be good. But, just as the HOLY GHOST convicts you, you have to physically and mentally correct you and take you before the LORD for chastening. You have to take yourself into your quiet place of prayer, give yourself to hearing the WORD and sell yourself out to JESUS. Most people want to loan themselves to HIM, when it is convenient or traditionally required of them or it is fitting to their own lusts. But, what does your heart hold? Is it a blessed place where Love lives or is it a crime scene? The evidence is in your mouth. “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.� (Luke 6:45) In other words, pay attention to what escapes your lips. Pay attention to what welds up in your heart when you're going through turbulence. Pay attention to your desires. You are your detective. The HOLY GHOST shines the light and you should be asking yourself questions. Your answers may reveal whether or not you are still in need of deliverance. Do you curse? Do you still find yourself probing through the Internet looking at photos of the one that has hurt you? Do you steal? Are you a person who finds it hard to stop gossiping? What about complaining? How about sexual sin? Do you desire to have sex with someone just for the companionship and the closeness of the experience, however, you don't truly want the 'pleasure' of it? Just the feeling of being 'loved,' if even for but a moment? Let me share this with you. When we establish an ungodly soul tie, we have to be delivered from that soul tie. It has to be destroyed, we have to be set free and it has to be cursed so that it does not reattach. Now, evil soul ties can be established in romantic relationships, friendships, ministerial associations, etc. The same is for an evil heart. There may be an evil root that has been placed in your heart, as the result of a traumatic event in your life. And even though you got saved, you gave yourself to the LORD and you may be even serving from a position of leadership, but still, from within, you are hurt. You are still dealing with frustrations, offenses and wicked desires. The evidence of what is in you always shows up, when you feel spent.
One of the best things you can do today is surrender wholeheartedly to GOD. I mean, just go before HIS Holy Throne and tell HIM what you struggle with. HE wants to hear from you. HE wants to deliver you. It is not HIS desire or HIS pleasure to see you in turmoil. It is HIS desire to see you blessed. But, an event has to take place so that you can be able to stand before HIM. What is this event? You have to clean up that crime scene and live again. PAST LOVERS Somebody hurt you. How dare they? You gave them your heart and in return, they gave you theirs. Only difference was, theirs was charred, black, dark....just evil. So, it wasn't a fair exchange. Now, you keep trying to do CPR and resuscitate it, believing that if you can revive it, you will have found the perfect mate. And you were wrong. It's not uncommon to think this way, however, it is not wise to believe that you, a human being, can just walk up and give someone your love and they just change their life. Just like that. That's why we need to put the remote controls down and live because TV has lied to many. Truth is, no one is going to do for you what they refuse to do for the LORD. It doesn't matter how good you are in bed or how much money you spend, how faithful you are, or who you fight. A duck will quack because that's all it can do. You need to understand that carnally, we are human beings, but spiritually, we are not the same. If someone is not in CHRIST, they are of a different 'fold' than you are. You are a new creature. They are an old creature exhibiting old ways or habits and here you come with your big old heart and pearly white teeth thinking you have the power to change their spiritual DNA. Therefore, when they hurt you, you have left yourself down because you let yourself down. But, you need someone to blame, so you blame who? Your past lover? Were you not out of the will of GOD when you didn't adhere to “Seek ye first the Kingdom of GOD and all it's righteousness and everything else will be added unto you?” Were you not out of the will of the LORD, when you ignored, “Do not be unevenly yoked?” Were you not displaying evil behavior and blind judgment when you blocked out all of the scriptures regarding fornication or adultery? Listen, they did what they knew how to do. That was all they had, problem is, you didn't require much initially. Now, you come in with demands and this, quite understandingly is frustrating to someone who can not meet those demands. It is not a slap in their face to say they are maybe foolish, but it is a slap in your face to say that you went so low and then expected the value to be raised on this man or woman, even though GOD sternly warns you throughout the scriptures. So, it's safe and wise to say: Get over it and do better next time. This is, to love you past the pain, but at the same time, not to baby that spirit of pity that is attempting to attach the word 'victim' to your forehead. You were not the victim, but you can make any demon that attacks you your victim. Let's change up the crime scene, where the demon is stretched out in the pit, trying to figure out how it go there and why it cannot come out. FRIENDSHIPS OR SIN-SHIPS? Again, we cannot and should not be angry when we are 'betrayed' by a friend. Sure, it hurts. Sure, we didn't want it to happen, but it does. More than likely, you have seen the signs and chose to ignore them. More than likely, they have exhibited behavior that did not say “I love you,” but we, being human beings, thinking we can fix anything and anybody, continued to nurture the relationship, believing the return would be worth the effort. Instead, you get hurt again and again. Instead, they betray your trust again and again. Instead, they talk about you, gawk at you with a 'jealous' eye, speak evil over you, all the while, you're trying to show them what love is. Again, if it quacks, why are you feeding it cat food?
“Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” (1 Corinthians 15:33) When we refuse to be led by the Holy Scriptures, the LORD will and does allow calamity, depression, oppression, rejection and other non peaceful states to come upon us. This isn't to destroy you, this is purposed in getting you to stop destroying yourself. Ask yourself this: Can we talk on the phone or in person without gossiping? If your answer is no, end the friendship. Can we talk on the phone or in person without having a gripe session? If your answer is no, end the friendship. Can I say no to evil to my 'friend' and still be accepted? If your answer is no, end the friendship. You have to understand that many friendships were supposed to be for a season and others were never intended to begin. For example, what about that friend that seemed to draw nigh unto you when you were down and out? But, the minute you smiled, he/she got distant, kind judgmentally aggravated with you, etc. However, the very second that you are broken again, they are there! Ears wide open and a deceptive embrace to cause you to believe that they love you and they are there for you. That is, until you smile again. Maybe, if it was for a season, you have overstayed your welcome. And if this is a person that happens to like 'fixer-uppers,' you really want to distance yourself from them anyway because their heart is clearly a crime scene. And if you are not on the 'victim' list, you are not allowed in. People like this attempt to break you again and again just so they can fix you. And yes, you will find many religious leaders with this spirit, which is what it is! So be careful who you share with. Pray, pray pray! LEADERS ON THE SCENE (OR ARE THEY?) One of the most common problems with people today is, no one wants to correct him or herself. They simply walk about correcting others, according to what they can see. But, a plank is in their eye so they can not see clearly, as to what is going on in the lives of others. But, because their heart is so wicked, they don't want to see their error because conviction feels unbearable to someone that is bearing much guilt. But a self relieving session, to them, is to carry a belt of correction around and attempt to blindly spank the child of someone else, believing themselves to be worthy to 'parent' someone that GOD has not given to them to lead. In many cases, this is the evidence of a Jezebel spirit, which stems from hurt. As with friends, people that bear this spirit tend to like 'fixer-uppers' and they like to break souls that they judge to be otherwise. If you are a leader, ask yourself this: What is my ministry's motivation? I mean, true motivation. Not just the religious spurting of, “Oh, I want to please the LORD! Oh, I love the LORD, HE heard my cry!!!! I just have such a heart for people that this just seemed natural to me!” All the while, you're home, speaking reproachfully about the people that approach you for counsel or speaking evil over people who will not 'submit' to your lead or take your advice. Or do you truly desire to see people's lives improved, even if that meant they never mentioned your name again? You see, we have to desire that GOD is glorified and not ourselves, otherwise, our walk becomes perverted and demonic portals begin to manifest. What's in your heart's wallet? Is it love? Is your heart chiseled and strong through the exercises that life forces us into? Or is it fat with hate, resentment, and jealousy masked as ministry? Question yourself! To whom much is given, much is required. Rebuke yourself! Humble yourself before it is too late, if you find yourself in the category of evil.
Love bears it's own fruit and does not have to be explained. It simply is. But, like the fig tree that bore no fruit, hate is found in the victimized or broken spirit. Just an empty soul with debris scattered around and a demon refugee harboring in the hollows of the heart. Get to the root of it. Something has you this way. What is it? Were you always wicked, if you are, and you just never submitted certain areas of yourself for correction and growth? Or did you pick this up along the way, after you'd been victimized, as a garment of protection? Servant of the MOST HIGH, put on the full armor of GOD and stop trying to wear anything else. EVERYDAY We can be healed, if we want to be. One of the first things to do is to recognize the truth about you. If you find yourself hurting from past relationships, friendships or if you're a leader that has found yourself in error, go before the Throne. GOD will forgive you, because HE loves you. Pay attention to the word 'find.' That is, you have to locate yourself. You didn't die at the crime scene. But, many are looking for you to show up on time to do the work of the LORD. Don't go into hiding because of what was dealt to you. It was supposed to make you stronger, don't allow the hurt to serve any other purpose in you, except what the LORD has tagged on it. Your heart may be a crime scene if: 1. You like to hurt others. 2. You like to fix others, and once they are well, you flee the scene or try to break them again, believing either, they are better broken, or they need to be rebuilt 'your way.' 3. You feel a sense of 'entitlement' to the things of others. 4. You mind is arrested with thoughts of others (relationships, friendships, enemies, etc.) 5. You don't trust your current partner, not because of something they did, but because well, he's a man or she's a woman. And...oh yeah, they got sneaky eyes. 6. You feel 'intimidated' by others. 7. You wrestle with jealousy or competitiveness. 8. You are a cellphone checker, check the mile gauge when your spouse travels, times the spouse when they are out, etc. (Married folks.) 9. When you're going through a storm, you feel 'better' when someone else is going through one as well. No GODLY foundation equals feet that wave until they find broken pavement. 10. When you don't get attention, you don't feel loved and this sends you into an emotional spiral. Either you're angry and get contentious or you're hurt and get whiny. 11. You like to smoke, drink or take drugs to 'get away' from reality and escape into a chemically induced peaceful state. 12. Your self worth is determined by your relationship or friends. 13. You run from relationship to relationship. 14. You find it hard to 'trust' people. You question everyone's intent. It's good to pray on it, but no one, in your view, is good. 15. You wear provocative clothing to get attention. 16. You don't like to spend time with the crime scene cleaners. (Holy Bible.) 17. You figure out things long before it's explained, and develop your own theories. (When someone is hurt, they look for immediate answers, because they don't feel like they can bare question marks and they tend to come up with reasonable sounding theories, but, in many cases, they are untrue. Be healed.) 18. Your feet are quick to run to evil. Who's fighting and where? (P.S. Be very careful with those soap operas. If Peter slaps Paul and you're dancing on the kitchen table, something is wrong...somewhere.) 19. You like to know the business of others so you can have something to discuss and take your
mind off what's really going on in your own home. 20. You find yourself feeling depressed, sad, incomplete, directionless, etc. If any of the above describes you, it's not too late. Go before the LORD and continue going before HIM daily and ask HIM to remove, not only those wicked ways, but the root of them and to never allow that root to reattach or find it's way in your heart again. GOD loves you and HE wants to use you, but in order to do so, HE has to clean you up. After all, would you send your baby amongst people with a soiled diaper? Okay, you are HIS baby and this may be the soil that you are carrying around. Get cleaned up so you can go out and serve!
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