Pacific Pencil 2022 - 2023

2022-2023

W O R D S A N D P I C T U R E S

PACIFIC PENCIL

V I S U A L AR T S

E L E M E N T AR Y

APIS values creativity We understand that not only do creative people make the world more beautiful, they also are posses a trait that even Fortune 500 CEOs covet: they are problem solvers! Over the next few pages, you'll get to see just what future leaders bring to the table.

E L E M E N T AR Y

Minh Nguyễn | Grade 1

Emily Ris | Grade 1

E L E M E N T AR Y

Audrey Han | Grade 4

Minh Nguyễn | Grade 1

E L E M E N T AR Y

Leah Lim | Grade 5

VISUAL ARTS

M I D D L E S C H O O L

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Stella Yoo | Grade 6

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Emi Park | Grade 6

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Leah Ann Wu | Grade 6

Audrey Na | Grade 6

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Gaye Cho | Grade 6

Hannah Nam | Grade 7

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Finley Kim | Grade 7

Hannah Nam | Grade 7

Connor Cho | Grade 7

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Alden Choo | Grade 7

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Christy Chung | Grade 8

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Ian Kim | Grade 8

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Betty Kim | Grade 8

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Suki Park | Grade 8

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Isabelle Sohn | Grade 8

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Jason Kang | Grade 8

Tim Daniel Kim | Grade 8

M I D D L E S C H O O L

Hyunjoon Lee | Grade 8

Olivia Choi | Grade 8

VISUAL ARTS

I G H S C H O O L

H

Erica Shim | Grade 11

H I G H S C H O O L

Ian Hwang | Grade 9

Ellie Moon | Grade 8

H I G H S C H O O L

Kyra Bahk | Grade 9

I G H S C H O O L

H

Emily Cho | Grade 11

Esther Kim | Grade 9

I G H S C H O O L

H

Lulu Timpson | Grade 11

H I G H S C H O O L

Jessica Choi | Grade 11

I G H S C H O O L

H

Emily Cho | Grade 11

H I G H S C H O O L

Serena Yewon Min | Grade 11

H I G H S C H O O L

Jioh Kim | Grade 11

H I G H S C H O O L

Jioh Kim | Grade 11

Edric Yoo | Grade 11

H I G H S C H O O L

Yoonwook Nahm | Grade 12

H I G H S C H O O L

Emily Lim | Grade 12

H I G H S C H O O L

Erica Enda | Grade 12

H E W R I T T E N W O R D

T

AUDREY NA

HAIKUS

Sunset

Golden orb descends

Rays of saffron and maroon

A day’s fond farewell.

Snow

A garden of ice

Feathers of white cover trees

Winter’s arrival.

Rain

Quiet thunderstorms

Melodies of faint drizzling

Shower from heaven

ABIGAIL HAN

THE SECRETS OF THE SEA

She wears a gown of glitter and blue and green That sparkles when it meets the light Her beauty lures those captured by it to her embrace, most never to be seen again

She hides the secrets of those lost in her waves Keeps the bodies and shipwrecks tucked away

She roars along with the soldiers in the battles that are fought on her Her salty spray and preying waves give an air of fear And when the battles are over, she collects the treasure into her deep, blue depths

Deep inside her There are countless creatures unknown to us But she knows them all

She keeps them all alive, A newborn whale, an old turtle, a playful seal And they breathe as one

You can hear her whispering from the shore, and if you go close enough Maybe she’ll tell you more

NAWRA JITH

WHEN IT ALL STARTED

I fetch Baskets of fruits And vegetables just To follow you around here and beyond Hoping

You would notice As I followed you to the tree under the starlit sky We sat

As you Gazed into the Sky nothing but hope and Curiosity you asked for A star

A star A fallen star I looked into your eyes To see a spark radiating From them

Right then I started my Journey beyond the wall Wondering where it will lead me

For you Little did I know that Star too

A SENSE

A smell

A subtle sense

A wisp of wind I smell

A fragrance roaming in the air

A smell

I hear

I hear my voice

I hear sweet melodies

I can hear sweet whispers of sweets

I hear

We Touch

We feel soft hands

We embrace warmth and hugs

We tenderly brush our fingers

We Touch

My sight

My sense of sight

My eyes and my window

My hues can observe the beauty

My sight

Why Taste?

Why nice flavours?

Why can I taste my tongue?

Why savoury, sweet, sour, spicy?

Why Taste?

JAYDEN LEE BURGERS

Burgers

Buns are fluffy

Cheese Salivating your mouth

Fresh Patties enhancing the taste

So well

Pickles

Crunchy and fine

A Little acidic

Wraps everything together well

Burgers

AIDEN CHOO THE

STAR

One tiny star dreams of his love. He sings a serenade to her.

It doesn’t matter when universe laughs at him Or if she becomes fat or skinny

One night, the star dreamt

The darkness he felt around her

And it was such a lonely pale light

Starry bright light defeated darkness

One faraway star shines to reach her

She never feels dark thanks to the star

It doesn’t matter how far she lives from him Or if she knows the star and his love

One million years ago, the star met the moon

The happiness the star felt around himself

And it was such a flaring hot light

Charming the moon conquered the star’s heart

TO MY EX BEST FRIEND

I remember when I first met you, you were smiling and sweet, joined our motley crew of misfits and told me you would be my friend forever How did you trick me into believing that?

I remember when we were happy. We would go on walks at lunchtime together, laughing, and drop by the convenience store after school, chattering Was it all an illusion?

I remember when I first saw the signs I saw the glimpses of you, controlling, mean, and selfish. But I ignored all of it because I wanted to stay in our friendship haze. Why, why didn’t I run?

I remember when you froze. I said I was moving to a different school, and then you stopped talking to me, listening to me, caring about me I can’t help wondering, was it jealousy, or was it apathy?

I remember when you ghosted me, and that haunted me Dozens of unanswered texts scattered in my mind You walked right past me in the hallways when I tried to talk. Did you know how much it hurt me?

I remember when it all exploded. When you said our group should meet, I jumped at the chance. But when I arrived, you said it was over Did you like it when you made me cry?

I remember when I finally got over you, when I realized that real friends stick with you And now I know I’m better off without you, But sometimes I wonder, did it have to end like this?

JOSHUA KIM

JOKER

Jokes won’t last forever

I make a joke or two

For the laughter will come from you

More will come for my humor

For I express myself like a ruler

But alas

Jokes won’t last forever

I’d come and go like your urgency

Cause you think of me as an emergency

My days remain the same

For my jokes never get lame

Until one day I forget my way for fame

Cause alas

Jokes won’t last forever

One by one they go

While I try to follow my role

Until soon no one is there

Only you are here

Making me repeat my joke

But alas jokes won’t last forever.

JASON KIM SEASONS

Spring Rays of sunshine warm the days after winter. Colorful flowers start to bloom for us.

Summer

It’s so hot, please turn on the AC. I want to go to the swimming pool, RIGHT NOW!

Autumn

Red and yellow leaves fall from trees and it is my favorite season of all four.

Winter

Where is my coat?

It is getting too cold. I want to get in my blanket RIGHT NOW!

JOANNA KIM

SAVE THE SOUL OF SE:OUL

The sign of the subway train’s departure away Creates cacophony of desperate impatience around You hurriedly scurry into a sea of faces, sweaty hands Theirs only illuminated by backlight of phones, no heart Unlike yours, an explorer from the past, appalled by this unfamiliar, eerily identical sight

K-pop music blasting as you walk past

The skyscrapers and grotesque smiles from plastic surgery ads catch your sight and rainbows of vehicles adorning the Gangnam road just like the rings on Mom’s hands Suits, long puffer jackets all around Routes of each individual independently diverting away Like different recycling bins Koreans all prize in their hearts

The night scenery of Seoul is no ordinary sight

Bokeh of apartment lights and street lamps around Endless curvatures of the roads that intertwine like your hands Against the glass windows of Namsan Tower that seemingly stretch away Appear like a circuit board, just like the subway lines your 6-year old self memorized in your heart

Only if Seoul were to return to Mother’s caring arms of the past

You remember when you were around Eight, excitedly running, hands Dirty from charcoal in Seun Sangga factory unlike your innocent heart, Concerned about your father, machinist, working past Usual shift to raise enough money for tickets to show you the sights Of the night view of Seoul that expanded beyond your horizon and away

Without Mother, who gradually demolished away Due to selfish tumor of impatient, towering glass towers piercing her heart

Your depressing solitude soon disappeared when the stationery store ajumma around The corner of father’s factory would secretly gift you a golden ddakji in your hands

Since when did Mother’s sentimental wrinkles of the dilapidated concrete hanbok shops in the past Morph into this selfish, greedy monster of bleeding neon signs in your current sight?

Unlike the superficiality of historical structures of the past Like Gyeongbokgung Palace - your father’s favorite attraction in heart

You look around In your frustrated, tear-filled blurry sight Just to realize that the memory of Mother is in the hands Of everyone, including yourself or else, it'll evaporate away

TWO PILLS

I wake up, and I look for my pills Or should I say “pill”

It’s my daily medication, rarely I’d forget them

Taking my pill is announcing to my brain the day has started, whether I want it to or not

Although the answer to that question is probably the latter, I take it regardless Mostly because I have to, not really because I want to

The doctor told me that the pills would help me focus. That it helps me overcome whatever I have to Regardless, I don’t like taking them. These days, I feel like I need less focus in my life. I am restricted from that time when I think about nothing. I am restricted from zoning out from all the catastrophes that go around me

There was this one time when all I did was try to be nice, but I was left hurt in the end This is definitely not the first time, and I want to say it’ll be the last, but unfortunately, I cannot promise myself Right now, I feel like I feel like I need less focus.

People hurt like hell. Hell.

Just like “Hello” has a “Hell” and “bye” has a “by,” the extra focus has got me wondering if all my pain is actually self-inflicted.

If I got myself into too many Hellos and pointed the finger at myself for all of the byes

Too many questions, too many lies.

Too many lessons, not enough to make me wise. I guess the medication can’t completely suppress my condition Just like I can’t suppress my thoughts of you

Dealing with people is like trying to find the answer to a question that isn’t given

They follow no laws, or at least they’re hidden

Sorry to tell you, but I’m not the subliminal kind I don’t know unless they’re written and underlined.

Maybe I ask too much, too much for me to answer I want to be true to you, even if it means I had to lie to everybody else

But I don’t want to hurt you, even if it means I’d had to endure the pain myself

Just that it’s hard hard to tell you

Too hard that I take two more, Two more pills to lean on Not by choice, but because that’s all I can do Just take more pills and try to forget what’s left of you

THE BATTLE

The Snow dragon had vicious spikes coming out from his head and a long slimy tongue The thorns were long and sturdy, sticking out from his back There were two huge mammoths standing on the other side of the wall and guarding the throne that the dragon was sitting on Not to mention there were a bunch of ogres They had white tough skin with white bumps all over them They were lined up on the edges of the room, holding spears in their right hand

“I know one of you is a princess, come out and show yourself!” declared the dragon

Bell was terrified that the Snow Dragon could spot her in a moment.

“Come out now!” shouted the Snow Dragon. “If you don’t come up, you leave me no choice but to kill you one by one, ” said the Snow Dragon standing up.

Bell dropped the key from her hand because the Snow Dragon already knew.

“Here she is; I can sense it!” shouted the dragon.

Bell’s fear creeped up on her again. She hurried and grabbed her key and walked between people, trying to confuse the Snow dragon in the ballroom. Bell took out her pouch and threw one of them, not knowing which one she threw. Then, suddenly, a thick mist came out and nobody could see anything. The ogres start with her eyes closed. She was dead! Bell was so furious that she punched and kicked the ogres as hard as she could and knocked some of them unconscious Ellenore couldn't just watch Bell fighting by herself She stood in front of Bell and spread her arms to protect her Tears started to stream down her face An Ogre sliced off her wings with his axe She collapsed in pain and the ogres dragged her away Bell kicked and missed One of the ogres

punched her in the stomach and she fell to the ground in pain. Her face was so pale and her eyes were closed. Emilly spotted a little hole that led into a very deep ocean outside where deadly sea creatures were living.

“No! I am sorry your highness, but I have no choice,” said Emilly, wiping her tears as she pulled Bell near the edge and pushed her into the hole.

The ogres came and dragged Emilly across the floor, out of the door and into prison. It was dark and cold, no window, just a white cold chair. There were skulls and bones everywhere on the floor. The floor was wet and the walls were covered in dried splattered blood.

“Do you think Bell will be alive?” Emilly wept in pain

“Why did you do that?” yelled Tiki

“Well sorry that I didn't tell you this earlier, but the riddle on the key clearly told me that the princess needs to be sacrificed,” Emilly pointed out

Meanwhile, on the shore of the sea, Bell laid on the dry sand and didn't know whether she was alive or dead She heavily opened her eyes and everything seemed really vague She could see a blurry figure heading towards her When Bell was conscious, she saw the same turtle from the lake around Tiki’s house

The turtle was crawling onto the shore and transformed into a beautiful ocean fairy She had blue eyes and scales on her wrist and her legs and her forehead She had a beautiful emerald fin sticking out from her ears Also, She had gorgeous blond silky hair that dries in a second. She was beautiful, Bell’s eyes fixed on her right away.

“Hi, I am Iris, princess of Pearl Kingdom. I was watching over you the whole time. That Key! That is the key to perish Snow Daron,” said Iris.

“How can I use this key? Please tell me!” exclaimed Bell.

“You are the princess of Qwata Snow World. You have the ability to bring up the power of the key and the key will tell you what to do,” Iris added.

“We should get into the Snow Dragon castle and save my friends and destroy the Snow Dragon once and for all,” Bell said firmly.

Iris took out three little pale blue pearls and rubbed them in her hands together. Suddenly, those pearls ground into the magic power to teleport into the castle They were just in front of the prison and could see her friends and Daisy Daisy left the prison bar and crawled over to Bell

“Aw, you little Daisy! I missed you so much Can you get the key inside of that guard's pocket?” asked Bell pointing to the left side

Daisy was so tiny that nobody would notice her That was a piece of cake for her So, they could get into the prison to meet her friends

“Your highness, I knew you were still alive, '' cried Emily This time Iris pulled out the five white pearls and one little bottle from the deep ocean Iris ground the five white pearls into the powder and put it into the bottle

“Drink this, Ellenor! Your wing will grow again,” Iris said

At that very moment, Madam Shasha stood in front of them laughing really loudly

“Ha ha! You thought you could get away from us?” sneered Madam ShaSha

Madam Shasha snapped her fingers and a bunch of ogres charged in and put the thick heavy metal chains around their ankles and wrists They dragged them while pushing us harshly to go faster Once they were inside the prison bars again, they waited for the ogres to go out They all closed their eyes and concentrated and connected their thoughts. Suddenly, the wet floor full of skulls started to shake as if there was an earthquake. Their chains broke into two and they couldn’t escape because there was no key!

Luckily, Bell still had her teleporting ball in her white velvet pouch. She threw it on the ground and there was a portal that was white with snow falling inside. They all jumped in and landed in front of the Ball gate.

I thought that the ball was supposed to take us to Tiki’s house, thought Bell.

The magic had stopped in front of the gate because someone had cut the line that connected to Tiki’s house. They saw a big shadow behind them, so they turned around and saw the snow dragon waiting for them!

“You thought you were so secret, well, I knew,” said the Snow Dragon with a holler

The Snow Dragon breathed ice, but he missed and everything around them turned to ice in an instant Tiki used her wand to attack with magic She shot and it reflected on his strong sales in another direction The Snow Dragon was so angry that suddenly twelve sharp and thick horns shot in different directions

“Oww!” shouted Emilly

Bell turned around and saw that one of the horns had jabbed Emilly on the tip of her tail Wailing, she pulled it out, rolling around on the floor In an instant, her tail started to get red

“Ugh!” Tiki shouted

Bell saw that Tiki was lying down on the floor with two horns stabbed into her chest coming out from the other end Blood started to pour out like crazing Tiki’s eyes were open, not blinking, or breathing Bell fell down to her knees and started to cry

“Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the snow dragon

Bell’s and Iris’s faces filled with rage Iris got out a pearl sword and started to climb up the Snow Dragon’s body until she reached his face The Snow Dragon’s tongue was dangling out of his mouth Iris went near his mouth and cut off his tongue and white liquid started to pour everywhere His tongue was on the ground and was wiggling until it stopped.

But . . . it only took a few seconds for his tongue to grow back again. The Snow Dragon lifted Iris in his tail, squeezing her and he held Bell with his hand. He squeezed them so tightly we could hardly breathe. Bell grabbed her key so hard that the key shattered into tiny pieces.

Unexpectedly, the dragon collapsed on the ground weakly. The key was the key to destroy the Snow Dragon. Iris got out her pearl sword and cut the head off of his body. The snow dragon's body turned into fluffy white snow and his head turned into ashes.

THE SURVIVOR

Sam opened his eyes and squinted at the clear, blue sky That’s strange, he thought He never woke up to a blue sky before Yawning, Sam rolled over and saw sand Sand He only saw that on a screen He didn’t know why it was there, able to be felt by his fat hands Exhausted, Sam laid there until a cool wave washed over his worn-out body That was strange, a confused Sam thought He had never seen a wave outside his thirty-inch television “I didn’t know video games were that stacked,” muttered Sam Suddenly, that same wave lifted Sam off the sand and into the water

Sam quickly jerked himself awake and found himself getting washed into an ocean He realized that this was not a video game. Panicking, he stood up and prayed that his feet touched the bottom. They did, and Sam breathed a huge sigh of relief. He turned his flabby head away from the clear, blue horizon and to the mysterious island behind him. Sam’s mouth gaped open as he saw a mountain towering above the lush, green trees.

He slowly waded back to shore and stood on the warm beach. While looking around, Sam found his black backpack half buried in the fine sand. Quickly, he limped over to it. He sat down and dug his hands into the designer backpack. I wonder what’s in there, an uneasy Sam wondered. While digging, he felt a mangled piece of metal. Sam’s hands pulled out his mangled iPad and Xbox controller. Instinctively, he tried to turn on his tablet to play a video game. The tablet did not turn on, even when Sam pressed the home button with all of his strength. Angrily, he tried pressing the power button No luck Rage washed over him as he realized his prized tablet was waterdamaged Angry screams came out Sam’s gaping mouth as he fell to the sand, crying “WHY?!! WHY IS MY DAMN TABLET BROKEN?!! MOM, GET THE F IN HERE RIGHT NOW!!” he screeched

As Sam laid next to his backpack and broken tablet, he heard footsteps. My damn mom is coming. She would buy me a new, better tablet. I would be able to play Roblox again because I always get all the shit I want, Sam thought. He looked up, expecting to see his mom. His mouth fell open as he saw a boy with wet, brown hair stand over him. The boy only said one word: “Chill”. That was it.

Sam’s rage levels had risen to an amount he never thought was humanly possible. “SHUT THE HELL UP!!! I W-WANT MY MOM!! SHE IS GONNA BUY ME A BETTER TABLET!! CAN’T YYOU SEE MY SHITTY TABLET IS BROKEN?!!!!”

Sam cried out.

“Bro, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just a tablet Chill,” commanded the boy

“I NEED MY DAMN TABLET!!!” Sam angrily responded

“No you don’t There are worse problems out here man, ” the boy explained

“NO THERE AREN’T JUST SHUT UP!!!”

“You don’t get it Just listen to me for a minute while I explain!”

NO!!”

“Just let me explain!”

“NEVER!!! MY MOM IS GONNA COME VERY SOON!!!”

“The problem is, she won’t Not because she went to buy milk like your dad did But because we are stuck on this piece of shit island”

With that, Sam fell down sobbing. “W-WHAT D-DO YOU MEAN?!!!” he asked, his voice trembling.

“You must have the mental ability of a frog in a vegetative state to not be able to comprehend what I said. We are stuck on an island!”

Sam gave up and just lay face down on the soft sand, letting it soak his angry tears. The kid explained to Sam that they were on a plane just hours ago. How the engine had suddenly failed and they had fallen into the ocean. How they were the only ones to float back to the surface. How the kid held on to him just so Sam wouldn’t drown.

“R-Really?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. I saved you. Now we have to get out of this island. Everything else is not important right now, ” replied the kid in a very calm tone.

Sam sat up and asked the kid his name

“Jay,” he answered

Jay was a rather weird-looking kid He was fifteen, just like Sam, but that was the only thing they both had in common Jay was wearing a wet, black jacket and ripped, dark jeans Sam wore an oversized, crusty shirt and shorts that were so worn you couldn’t tell they was once white Jay had curly brown hair that was wet due to the ocean Sam had buzz cut hair because he was too lazy to shampoo his hair

“You look like that one dude from YouTube,” Sam muttered

“You look like you won a speed eating contest against Nikocado Avocado,” Jay replied without skipping a beat

That was true Sam was almost four hundred pounds Jay was around an inch taller, but about a third of Sam’s weight

Jay quickly motioned at Sam to come into the lush forest behind them He stood up and hobbled behind Jay into the creepy, mysterious forest Jay spent ten minutes explaining what that green stuff on the ground was to Sam Suddenly, Jay saw a tree with brown balls hanging out of it He made a joke about the brown balls and quickly ran up to it

Sam followed, thinking that Jay was just dirtyminded. Jay tried to climb up the tree, but he failed. Out of anger, he kicked the thin, flexible tree. Sam copied him as a joke, but the tree bent so much that the brown balls touched the ground. Suddenly, Jay’s face brightened, and he told Sam to sit on the tree. Jay grabbed all the balls, and tried to open one. Sam looked at Jay with a weird face.

“These brown balls are called coconuts. You eat the inside of them,” explained Jay.

However, he was not able to open the balls. He really is a weakass, Sam had thought impatiently. Being fed up, he went to see why Jay was grunting. Almost immediately, Jay was flung into the air as the tree snapped back to its normal position Bewildered, Sam looked at Jay as he flew across the forest Jay’s scream faded as he splashed into the blue ocean Sam sat there, waiting for Jay to come back

Jay did come back, drenched in seawater and with a frown on his face “I TOLD YOU TO SIT ON THE DAMN TREE!!!” he furiously yelled at Sam

Sam shrugged, and Jay’s face turned red, then white He started to swear and yelled at Sam to grab the coconuts Sam rolled his eyes and compiled Jay carried the rocks, and they trudged back to the beach On the way, Sam spotted something strange Looking closer, he saw a hairy creature running towards them Oh no That was not a good sign Sam started to scream in fear and pointed at the creature, which was a wild boar

RUN AWAY!! T-THERE IS A SOMETHING!!” Sam yelled at Jay

“That’s a boar, stupid,” replied Jay, unfazed by the creature

Jay turned his attention to the boar and squinted at it Quickly, Jay picked up a rock and chucked it with all his strength No way, Sam thought No shot he would hit the boar He is bad at games Sam was snapped out of his thoughts as the stone whizzed past his big stomach and struck the boar directly between the eyes Both boys heard a sickening ‘crack’ as the boar immediately collapsed to the muddy ground Jay jumped up in joy as he realized that there was dinner He slowly walked over to the dying boar He inspected it for a minute before grabbing the boar by its hairy, brown legs. Slowly and painstakingly, Jay dragged the boar back to the beach while Sam followed him with the coconuts.

At the beach, Jay started to walk around collecting sticks. Exhausted, Sam sat down and looked in his backpack again. He hoped to find something entertaining. While digging, Sam felt something smooth. He pulled out a very crusty magnifying glass he used to play with as a kid. Sam locked eyes with Jay, who had finally sat down and was making a pile with his sticks.

“Can I borrow that?” he asked while panting.

“No, this is mine,” Sam answered angrily.

“Bro, just let me use it for a second. I will give it back,” Jay snapped back in an annoyed tone

Sam clutched his prized magnifying glass closer to his flabby chest while Jay got more and more frustrated No one is allowed to use my stuff, Sam thought, disapproving of Jay Sam sat there, clutching his magnifying glass, when Jay lunged at him and swiftly took the magnifying glass from Sam’s flabby hands

“GIVE IT BACK!!!” Sam yelled

“NO!! You don’t understand, we need to start a fire with this!!” Jay screeched

“I DON’T GIVE A SHIT!! GIVE IT BACK OR ELSE!!”

“Or else what!? Our first priority is surviving!! That’s what I’m tryna do!”

Without thinking, Sam threw his fists at Jay’s red, furious face Swiftly, Jay grabbed Sam’s arm and slapped him Rage washed over Sam as he threw my fists over and over on Jay’s freckled face Jay kicked Sam between the legs and punched him several times while yelling in anger Sam fell to the sand with a thud While swearing, he grabbed Jay’s leg and yanked him to the sand They rolled around in the sand, swearing and punching, before Jay gained the upper hand He punched Sam one last time before standing up Sam had lost a fight to a kid less than half my size Why did I lose against him, he thought while half conscious Bruised and bloody, Sam laid in the sand for a while before coming to his senses He slowly opened his eyes to see Jay standing over him with blood running down his nose and lip. His eye was swollen. Breathing heavily, he dragged Sam back up and screamed at him.

“LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!!! IS THIS HOW WE’RE GONNA SURVIVE?!! WHY DO YOU ACT LIKE AN IDIOT IN THAT ONE PLACE WHERE YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AN IDIOT?!! WHY?!!!!”

Sam remained silent while Jay lashed out at his face. He did not want to get beat up by Jay again. Eventually, Jay calmed down, and his crimson face turned back to a normal shade. He held the magnifying glass in the rays of the sun, which was just about to set.

As the sun set, Jay focused on directing the sun ’ s rays into the stick pile by using Sam’s magnifying glass Meanwhile, Sam sat down to rest again Slowly, the magnifying glass made the stick pile smoke The small tuft of smoke slowly became an open flame as Jay cheered “Help me with the boar,” Jay ordered Sam Sam followed Jay, since he was scared of being beat up again He grasped the boar’s hind legs while Jay grabbed the front legs They brought it up near the fire Jay got a sharp stick and stabbed the dead boar through its furry body Both Sam and Jay hoisted the boar over the fire before Sam sat down, exhausted Eventually, they fully cooked the boar and started finding ways to cut it Suddenly, Sam walked away to go to the bathroom When he returned, he saw the boar well prepared by Jay Hungry, Sam took a handful of meat and shoved it into his mouth

Normally, Jay would have disapproved, but he followed suit and ate the boar like Nikocado Avocado ate his Takis Soon enough, both boys were full and satisfied

Full and tired, Sam groaned as he realized that he did not have a place to sleep Jay had realized it too, because he was walking around in the dark trying to find palm leaves He had heard that palm leaves were great for making shelters in the wilderness

Find some big leaves,” Jay finally ordered Sam

Being lazy, Sam normally would have refused, but he agreed for his own benefit Sam walked into the forest and began searching for leaves After thirty minutes of searching like a naked mole rat trying to find its fur, Sam gave up and found Jay with a large pile of leaves. “Idiot,” was the only word he could mutter when he realized Sam had not found anything besides half an hour of searching.

Immediately, Jay gave Sam half of his leaves and started work on his half of the shelter. Sam followed suit, but he was unable to make his unstable half of the shelter stand for longer than three seconds. Eventually, he cried in anger while Jay rolled his cold, blue eyes and continued building. Jay quickly finished his part of the shelter and climbed inside it to rest for a few minutes. Sam’s part was always collapsing like a card tower, and he got more and more frustrated.

“HEY!! GET UP!!! THERE IS A STORM!!” screamed Jay coarsely

Sam looked outside to see Jay with a very wet shirt and a livid expression Sam slowly rolled out, too lazy to do anything this early in the morning Jay pointed to the shelter they built yesterday, which was falling apart rather quickly because of the harsh weather Several seconds later, Sam found himself being ordered by Jay again However, Sam refused to help and walked away, leaving Jay whose face was turning red just like Sam’s after a short walk Jay bolted to Sam with steam risin from his ears He grabbed Sam’s squishy shoulders and gave him an ultimatum

“DO YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY SAFE PLACE IN THIS DAMN ISLAND JUST COLLAPSED?!! DO YOU KNOW THAT WE COULD DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA?!!”

“What’s h-hypothermia?” squeaked a frightened Sam.

“ IT’S WHEN YOUR BODY GETS TOO DAMN COLD, YOU UNCULTURED DISCORD MOD!!” yelled Jay.

“Ok. And? What do you want me to do?”

“Well, gather some leaves!! That rock over there probably has better memory than you!”

“Fine! I’ll get some leaves!”

Jay snapped at Sam to shut up before coming out of his part Sam complied, too tired to make another noise Jay spent the next two hours trying to teach the clueless Sam how to build a shelter Eventually, the shelter was finished, and Jay collapsed into the sand from exhaustion

“That took way too long I need to sleep,” muttered Jay while he walked back into the shelter Sam followed him and fell asleep inside Things were looking up Or so they thought

Sam woke up with a wet feeling on his rather crusty shirt I spilled water again, he thought, too tired to make a noise Only when he opened his eyes did he realize he was still inside the shelter Sam tried to fall back asleep, but he was interrupted by a familiar voice

Sam stomped off to collect leaves He was furious at Jay, but also did not want to get beat up again It was humiliating enough that the egocentric Sam was beat up, let alone by someone less than half his size Sam walked around trying to find palm leaves on the stormy beach He was rather unlucky, unlike Jay Sam had not found any leaves during his ten-minute walk around the beach Soon, Jay returned, annoyed that Sam did not have any leaves

“You are about as efficient as the McDonalds ice cream machine,” muttered Jay before motioning at Sam to follow him

“I HATE EVERYTHING!!! THIS SUCKS!! I WANT MY MOM BACK!!!!” yelled Sam.

Jay gave Sam some sticks and told him to build a good foundation That was a rather stupid mistake Jay spent an hour trying to teach Sam how to build a hut before giving up Sam was told to gather more leaves exactly where Jay did while he worked on the hut An hour passed, and the bad weather disappeared Sam returned with some leaves to a half-finished hut A sweaty Jay was covering it with palm leaves and more sticks Exhausted, Sam dumped the leaves next to Jay before lying down His lack of stamina was not a good mix with survival on the island He had not exercised a day in his life due to his video game addiction and laziness Sam looked at himself He was obese He was lazy He was immature He had way too many bad traits in comparison to his good ones There was a reason why Jay was always annoyed by him

There was a reason why nobody was happy to see him. For the first time, Sam felt like he had to change.

With newfound motivation, Sam stood back up and started helping Jay with the hut. He even brought rocks to help hold the hut in place in case of another storm. For the first time, Sam saw Jay without an annoyed and uneasy expression. He was relieved that Sam was aware of his situation and that he was willing to help.

“Umm, thanks” was the only thing Jay could mutter when he saw Sam putting sand around the rocks to hold them in place. Jay was not used to seeing Sam being productive.

Eventually, the hut was finished, and Sam again found his backpack lying in the sand. Sam downright yanked the soaking wet backpack out of the sand and searched for useful gear The only things he found were a blue blanket and a flashlight Jay immediately took the blanket to put it in the hut “Give it back,” Sam ordered

“We can use that in the hut We won’t be cold anymore, ” replied Jay, and Sam relented He remembered that he wanted to mature Sam motioned at Jay to follow him into the lush forest

They kept walking around, searching for some big coconuts Sam’s throat felt like dry sandstone as he had not drunk anything on the island Sam looked around for trees with brown balls, but he was unable to find anything Jay had no luck as well They were walking around hopelessly and contemplating life when Sam’s face brightened

“We left some brown balls near the hut yesterday!” exclaimed Sam

Jay muttered a few swear words before staggering back to the hut Sam followed, too thirsty to keep exploring Along the way, Sam picked up a jagged rock and followed behind Jay Jay started walking faster, excited to drink something for the first time in two days Sam followed faster to keep up with his partner Jay looked behind to see Sam holding up a jagged rock He first thought he was getting backstabbed, but he saw that Sam was too slow and calm to do that at the moment Why the hell is he holding a random rock, thought Jay They were not going hunting, and neither wanted to eat when their throats felt like a blast furnace.

Finally, both boys arrived at the beach. Thirsty and desperate, Jay staggered around trying to find coconuts.

Sam found them to his left, scattered around by the storm. He picked them up and yelled at Jay, who was still staggering around. Jay’s face brightened, then darkened when he realized that they had no way to open the coconuts. He walked up to Sam anyway hoping to find a miracle. Sam saw the dehydrated Jay and took out the jagged rock. He tried to smash the coconuts with the rock, but it did not work. Frustrated, he threw the rock and yelled at the top of his lungs. That was not a good thing to do when thirsty. Sam shot a sideways glance at Jay, who was crumpled up on the sandy ground. He had fainted from dehydration

With newfound motivation to save his new friend, Sam ran to the thrown rock and retrieved it He then cupped the rock in his hands and dived into a coconut The tough, hairy shell was no match for the sharp point of the rock, backed up by the force of Sam's gigantic body falling towards it The coconut blew up into smithereens, and the water poured into the sand On another coconut, Sam tried again with less force This time, it punctured a hole in the coconut He picked up the coconut and poured the contents in Jay’s mouth

“Gurghdeggwf” was the only sound that came out of Jay’s mouth before he sat up

He found that Sam had solved the coconut problem Sam broke a few more coconuts, and the boys rehydrated themselves before hearing footsteps Sam looked back, thinking that they were going to be rescued However, he only heard scurrying and something black fading into the forest The boys sighed in disappointment

The boys went back into the forest to hunt food Jay picked up a rock and hid behind a tree Sam followed suit, but his large frame did not allow him to hide Hours passed, and Sam and Jay started opening up to each other Sam told Jay how he was a spoiled kid who never did anything Jay was not surprised at all He told Sam about his inability to talk easily to people, and how he was forced to work with Sam This let him become more comfortable around people. Jay had become more extroverted and open since Sam saw him. He was much louder now. Sam told Jay that he realized he was acting like an entitled kid who wanted everything. He had wanted to change. That’s why he started to willingly help Jay.

Suddenly, Sam saw a flash. He turned around to see a strange man with a camera. It was the same person who scampered into the forest hours ago.

“What are you doing here?” asked Sam. Jay then walked up to the cameraman. They shook hands.

“What the hell. You know each other?” questioned Sam. Jay did not speak a word like the cameraman. Instead, the cameraman took out his phone and called someone.

“Phones work on this island?” inquired Sam, who was met with no answer

The cameraman started walking away, and motioned at Sam to follow What the hell That dude has a phone and a camera He’s not dirty How the hell did he get here, Sam thought, unable to comprehend anything that happened Eventually, the cameraman and Jay led Sam to an open road with a car waiting Sam opened the door, and his mouth dropped below the ground

A blond-haired woman with a fancy outfit was sitting in the car

“Mom” was the only word Sam could mutter as he saw his mom sitting there “I-I don’t understand,” stuttered Sam

“This is all fake I mean, this is not a desert island, it is a private one I wanted to teach you a lesson Stealing ten thousand dollars from me was crossing the line,” replied Sam’s mom

It was true The island was in fact a private island Sam was brought onto the sand overnight while sleeping Jay was not a random person who ended up with Sam He was a skilled survivalist who was hired by Sam’s mom The boar was a remote controlled one, and they swapped it with some cooked meat they had gotten from a supermarket However, the coconuts were real

Sam, unable to take it all in, begged his mom for forgiveness He was really a spoiled kid who had no problem stealing ten grand from his mom. However, he had learned his lesson. The one-anda-half day on the island and being forced to work with someone made Sam realize how messed up he was. He finally wanted to change after fifteen years.

“I am proud of you. You are no longer that spoiled boy I was so disappointed in,” his mom told Sam. “Oh yeah. I forgot. I swapped your ipad with a broken one yesterday. You can have your ipad back.”

Sam reached for it, but first thanked his mom. He beamed with happiness as he realized everything was intact. The happiness was multiplied when Sam learned that the private island was bought by his mom. A changed Sam and his mom waved goodbye to Jay and the cameraman before driving off towards the sunset

DIVINE

Chapter 1: Train

The chiming of the pre-announcement tone gently knocked on my eardrums as I slowly opened my eyes. I listened as I heard a voice come out of the speakers.

“Hello, dear passenger. ”

The voice sounded dreamy, almost as if the person speaking were an angel.

“This is your conductor speaking.”

The sounds came out of the speakers and echoed through the train

“This train will lead you to your final destination”

Sudden feedback made the rest of the sentence ineligible I winced as the voice was disfigured into a high-pitched screech

“Remember to check that you have none of your luggage with you when leaving the train”

Make sure I have none of my luggage? I grasped the duffel bag on my lap It was my only luggage, and I wasn’t planning to leave it here

“Feel free to call any of our beloved train guides if assistance is needed”

I didn’t know this train had any guides It didn’t say anything about guides on the pamphlet

“Please note that anything is possible on this train Do not be surprised if a strange phenomenon emerges Strange phenomena are extremely common in this area Please remain calm until one of our train guides comes to assist you ”

Strange phenomena? On a bullet train?

“Make sure you do not try to pull any tricks on anybody. The eyes are always watching you. Do not try to trick the eyes. The eyes know all.”

I started to feel uneasy. What eyes?

“When coming in contact with an eye, do not directly look at it. Do not show any hostility towards it. I repeat, do not show any hostility towards the eyes. ”

…This is probably a prank, right?

“Unless offered tea by our train guides, do not comply with anybody's requests involving the consumption of tea This is for your own safety”

“All official train guides wear a golden ring All official train guides have glass butterflies fluttering around them Make sure not to be fooled by the copycats”

“Do not try to exit the train under any circumstances”

“We hope you enjoy your journey with us ”

Welcome to the world of Divine”

The speakers made a crackling noise that settled to a slow, prolonged beep Then, the noise completely stopped I was left confused and afraid What were these eyes the conductor was talking about? Who were these train guides? What kinds of strange phenomena happen on this train? I hugged my duffel bag tight, gripping onto the straps as if my life depended on it I had to get home I had to go back to my family I was afraid

“Aye, found him! Lil’ rat was hidin’ in here.”

I heard the raucous, stentorious voice of a man holler in my direction. Out of instinct, I ducked my head and tried to hide myself from whoever the voice belonged to.

“Watch your language. He is our passenger, not a nuisance we have to take care of.”

A second voice muttered. The voice was feminine and sounded silvery.

“Lock’s right. You better treat him with respect, or you might get in trouble like last time.”

I heard another voice, followed by a little laughter. This one sounded more gravelly and sing-songy. I grabbed onto my long, messy hair and tried to cover my face with it The homey smell of my sandalwood shampoo calmed me down to some degree, but it wasn’t near enough

“Let me take care of this one You two might scare him off”

I let out a hushed groan as I heard the click-clacking of shoe heels getting louder and louder The woman was approaching me

“Excuse me, sir Are you feeling alright?”

I saw a hand put my hair to the side, revealing my face The hand was pale to the point it looked dead, and the fingers were long and smooth with perfectly cut black nails at the end She wore a golden ring with a small key engraved onto it on her index finger I closed my eyes tightly before I could see who the hand belonged to

“Sir, we are not here to hurt you ”

The woman spoke in a soft, euphonic voice, as if she were trying to comfort me

My name is Lock, and I am one of your three train guides The other two, Key and Roz, are waiting for you over there”

I opened one of my eyes and looked up at the woman As soon as I made eye contact with her, both my eyes opened wide She had golden eyes that glittered like a million stars, and skin as white and pale as milk If Snow White or Cinderella existed in real life, it would be this woman Her long eyelashes fluttered as she smiled at me. The long, white, silky hair that flowed to her ankles seemed to glisten in the lights. There were glass butterflies flying around her, making her seem like a goddess or an angel. I blinked my eyes slowly and looked away. Her beauty alone was enough to make me flustered, and I didn’t know where to place my eyes other than on my old sneakers. I counted the dirt stains on my white shoelaces as I nodded at her words.

“Is the rat feelin’ better yet?”

I heard a voice creeping right above me. I quickly snapped out of the dreamy sensation and spun my head around to look at who it was. It was a man with moss green hair and black eyes. His hair was tied into a small, messy braid that dangled right in front of my eyes. His frown and furrowed eyebrows showed that he clearly didn’t want to deal with me

“For the last time, you can’t keep on calling the passengers rats”

Lock jumped in for me as the man with green hair gave me a dirty look

“The name ’ s Key It ain’t a pleasure to meet ya ”

Key put his hand out, asking for a handshake I slowly raised my hand, scanning him up and down Just before I was about to take his hand, he grabbed mine and forced it into a rough handshake He shook it hard a few times making me wobble left and right, then let go I couldn’t hear exactly what he said, but I thought I heard him swear under his breath

“Can I come out now?

A small man peeked out from behind one of the seats He looked at me for a few moments, blinked, and gave me a bright smile I awkwardly stared at him for a few seconds, and waved my hand at him

“Erm, hi ?” I said in an unsure voice Why was he hiding? Is there something I’m not supposed to see?

“Heya!”

The man stood up and walked towards me He was not small at all In fact, he was probably taller than everyone else I knew He had bright red eyes with black pupils that seemed to have a slight glow to them, and brown hair that reminded me of milk chocolate. The small top hat on his head was giving me anxiety, as it was about to touch the ceiling and get knocked off his head.

“I’m guessing you ’ re Roz?” I muttered.

“Right on track! My name ’ s Rozhdestvensky Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff.” He said a name with seemingly a million syllables as if it was nothing. “Rozhdest… What?” Confused, I tried my best to say his full name, and failed miserably. Roz chuckled, making my ears go red in embarrassment.

“Just call me Roz. Nobody can say my full name properly in one go, not even my friends.” “Nice to meet you, Roz…”

He pointed at Lock and Key with a big grin on his face

Waving my hand left and right, I awkwardly stared at Lock and Key Lock gave Roz the side eye and Key looked away Roz only laughed

“Well, time to check if you ’ re the right person It was a big mess the last time we brought in the wrong guy ”

Key shuddered I didn’t completely understand what they were talking about, but guessed it was about a previous passenger

“Hey, I didn’t know there would be two people named Gipotenuza Griboyedov! It literally means mushroomeating hypotenuse !”

Key rolled his eyes at Roz’s statement, but I couldn’t help but laugh at mushroom-eating hypotenuse

“Moooving on ”

Lock pulled out a paper on a clipboard and sat in the seat in front of me She flipped through a few pages and pulled out a pen Alright sir, I’ll ask you a few questions- you just have to nod or shake your head No need for you to talk Get it?”

I nodded my head It felt like I was being interrogated in a police station, which was slightly uncomfortable I took a few deep breaths, which felt odd for some reason Almost as if The air wasn’t supposed to be in my lungs

“Jas Lewington, 27 years old Born and raised in Martensbourough, moved to Strasbury at age 17 Lone child living with mother and father. Am I correct?”

She knew a lot about me, to the point where it was slightly unnerving. I nodded.

“Long dark brown hair, messy and fluffy. Black eyes, all scars over arms, two tattoos.”

She looked at my arms, which were fully covered by my black-and-white striped sleeves. Her eyes then moved to my oversized black shirt, then my neck. I covered my neck by pulling up my hood. “Show me your arms, ribs, and neck. I need to check on your physical features.” She said it so casually, as if it were nothing. I pulled my hood down and shook my head frantically.

“I do this on a weekly basis. There’s no need for you to hide anything”

I kept on shaking my head I could sense that Lock was starting to get irritated, which made me even more anxious about the situation

“ Sir, if you keep acting like this, we’ll have no choice but to do this the rough way ”

A little ‘ eep ’ escaped my mouth I didn’t know what the rough way was, but I was sure it was not the way I wanted things to go Moving my hands slowly, I pulled down my hood and showed Lock my neck She nodded after seeing the small ankh tattooed on my neck Next, I rolled up my sleeves to show the linear scars left on my inner arm I quickly rolled my sleeves back down once Lock had checked on my arms

“Do I really have to do this?”

Biting on my lower lip, I slowly lifted my shirt Lock didn’t even bat an eye My frail ribs were revealed, making me feel vulnerable Lock’s eyes settled on the small tattoo of a semicolon on my lower rib

“That’s good”

As soon as the words left her mouth, I quickly pulled down my shirt and pulled my hood up I hated this situation I felt like a criminal being searched for weapons

“Seems like you ’ re the right person ”

Lock wrote some notes on the papers and gave them to Key, who left the train compartment with them. I wished the other two guides would leave me too.

“We’ll be leaving now. You may wander around the train as much as you like.”

She pulled on Roz’s arm and exited the compartment quickly, as if she read my thoughts. I was glad they left me alone.

Chapter 2: The World of Divine

I exited the compartment, trying to look for other passengers To my surprise, I found a casino It looked like it had been used just yesterday, but I saw no sign of any other customer The counter had many cups on it, some of them still full Some of the cups were knocked over and had spilled whiskey all over the counter, making the whole casino smell like fruity alcohol A card deck lay in the middle of the counter, the spilled whiskey nearly touching it I picked it up to look at it, and noticed the name Ted Lewington scribbled onto the paper box

“Ted Lewington?”

That was my father’s name I took a closer look at the deck of cards, opening it. I looked through the cards trying to find the queen of hearts, which I had ripped as a child. The queen of hearts of this deck had a big rip down the middle and was taped together. Just like the one I had at my old house in Martensborough. It was the exact same deck. I had a weird feeling about this place.

I put the deck of cards back on the counter and took a look at the game table Poker chips of every shape and size were laid messily on the table, along with a die There were odd-looking red stains on some of the chips, which gave me an uneasy feeling It looked like Old, oxidised blood I decided not to look at it any longer and closed my eyes shut I took a few deep breaths that made my lungs feel full Breathing felt Slightly uncomfortable Maybe it was because the casino was reeking of alcohol

I turned my eyes to the bar, which was full of bottles of alcohol Vodka, whiskey, and wine of every shape and size filled the entire wall The bottles shone in the warm light of the room, as if they were waiting to be consumed. I wasn’t that big of a drinker, but was slightly tempted to try some of the drinks. I picked up one of the bottles of whiskey that said Dimple on it. Dimple was my grandmother’s favourite drink, but I had never gotten to try it. As soon as I took the drink off the wall, I found an eye staring at me in the place of the bottle. I screamed and dropped the bottle, which shattered into a million pieces on the ground. The alcohol spilled all over my feet, creating an ocean of liquid that smelled like dried figs. I looked around the room to find eyes all over the walls. Afraid of them, I quickly ran out of the compartment s.

The next compartment was an outdoor playground. The sky was blue and the sun was shining bright. I didn’t understand, how could there be an outdoor playground in a bullet train? I was starting to feel uncertain about exploring this place further, but the familiar red slide and the soft wood chips under my feet were telling me to stay a little bit longer

I sat on the rusty swings in the corner of the playground It felt odd This place was way too familiar Closing my eyes, I tried to remember why Then, a memory shone in my head This was the Treefort The playground that me and my friends would always go to as children The playground that I spent my entire childhood in The playground that was now abandoned and set off-limits The playground of the old, dying-out town that I once called home

A wave of nostalgia hit me as I opened my eyes I could almost hear the happy screams of the little boys playing tag and the laughter of the little girls playing with their dolls on the swings I remembered the old days, when Martensborough was a lively town People were moving in, and new businesses were arising There were many children to play with, no matter where you went But that was a long time ago, before the town started to die out I got off the swing and walked towards the next compartment This train kept on bringing back memories of my old childhood home The home that I had left for more opportunities The home that my grandmother died alone in

I walked through the door and entered a small room It had an old wooden table in the middle, surrounded by antique chairs. It resembled a library room of an old house. There were bookshelves lining the walls, filled with childhood books like The Little Mermaid and Snow White. An old rocking chair sat in the back of the room. It had a chip on the handle and a worn-out pink blanket covering it. It smelled like cigars and pumpkin spice, which were my grandmother’s two favourite things. I remember how she would always sit in a rocking chair with a pink blanket on her lap, looking out the window. This entire room reminded me of her and the memories we held together.

I sat on the armchair and carefully rocked back and forth. Our neighbour, Mr. Waldridge, had told me how my grandmother had died sitting in her favourite armchair. Maybe this was how she felt in her last moments. My eyes slowly closed shut as I remembered my grandmother’s warm smile.

Chapter 3: Reapers

My eyes opened suddenly as I heard footsteps coming my way I heard the click-clacking of high heels, the thumping of boots, and the clucking of derby shoes My instincts told me that they were the footsteps of Lock, Key, and Roz Getting off the rocking chair, I quickly tried to hide under the table The three guides walked into the room and each sat in a chair I could see the pitch black heels and wine red socks of Lock, the matte mahogany boots and ivory socks of Key, and the shiny chocolate-coloured derby shoes and colourful socks of Roz. His socks were just as weird as his name, Rozhdestvensky. It had a yellow background with red and blue dots, along with… Cats flying all over the place. Cats with wings, specifically.

“ So, how long is this one staying for?”

I heard Lock’s voice echo through the room She sounded much more monotonous than usual, almost like a robot or a librarian

“We should let him go fast The last one wandered ‘round for too long and almost escaped, remember?”

Key crossed his legs and shook them in an impatient manner

“I don’t know Shouldn’t we give him time to figure out what’s happening?”

Roz’s voice seemed to be lower than when I first met him. He seemed a tad bit tired.

“He’s dead already, for god’s sake! He’ll be happy meeting his grandma or somethin’. Let’s just let him go tomorrow. I don’t have a good feeling ‘bout this one. ”

…Dead already? Was Key talking about me?

“You always say that, and you ’ re never right. I don’t think we should trust your instincts. Plus, humans tend to need a lot of time to accept the fact that they are dead. That’s the whole reason this place was created in the first place. If they could just accept their death in a snap, us reapers wouldn’t have to go through all this trouble.”

Lock said all of this so calmly, as if it were nothing Meanwhile, I was panicking under the table, desperately trying not to make any noises I pulled my hood up, covered my ears, and started to rock back and forth slowly I heard the train guides, now reapers, talking for another while None of what they said made it through my ears All I could hear were muffled traces of incomprehensible voices trying to make it into my head

After what seemed like hours, I heard the creaking of floorboards and the footsteps of three gradually fading away Slowly removing my hands from my ears, I tried to calm myself down by taking a few deep breaths My lungs hurt with every breath I took, as if the air flowing into my lungs were water

Staring into empty air, I grabbed my churning stomach with both my arms and hunched my back over, my head touching the cold stone floor My ears were ringing and my vision was starting to blur out and distort, as if my eyes had turned into two fisheye lenses I could feel my shirt and hair starting to get damp from all the sweat A shaky groan escaped my mouth as my vision slowly faded into darkness One last thought came into my head as I slowly lost consciousness This whole time, my heart didn’t beat a single time

Chapter 4: Sweet Chocolate

I opened my eyes wide and jerked my upper body up My hair still felt damp and my hands were cold My head was heavy, as if I had a hundred rocks inside my head

“Ah, you ’ re awake”

A voice came from behind me My hair hit my face as I quickly spun around to see who it was

“Hey, no need to panic It’s me, Roz”

Roz was perched on a desk in a small room I looked around to see a small, dark room with barely any furniture in it other than a desk, a set of drawers, a bookshelf, and the hard bed I was sitting in The walls were peeling off and there were dark red stains all over the furniture I saw a half-ripped family photo cased in a glass album on the desk One of the people in it was Roz My attention moved from the contents of the room to Roz himself as he let out an awkward chuckle He opened the set of drawers, which made a horrible creaking noise. His hand searched the drawer and pulled out a small piece of chocolate, which he handed to me. I managed to get a quick glance at the contents of the drawer. It was filled to the brim with sweets of every shape, colour, and size. I spotted some of my favourite sweets as well, like jelly beans and cherry lollipops.

“...What’s happening to me?”

Ignoring Roz’s hand, I stared straight at him, eyes full of doubt and fear. My hand grabbed tightly onto the white blanket that now sat over my lap.

“I heard everything you guys said. You said I was dead.”

My voice was shaky and uncertain Roz took his hand back and held the piece of chocolate tightly in his palm His eyes were wandering off to the side

It’s just as you heard You’re dead, and this train is leading you to the end” He bit his lip hard as soon as he finished the sentence I saw a red drop of blood forming on his lower lip as he gave a grimace of pain “I’m sorry The passengers usually get time to figure it out on their own, or we have Lock talk to them along with a cup of tea I’m sorry you had to find out this way I really am ”

For some odd reason, Roz seemed to be just as upset as I was

“Does that mean… I’m dead dead?” I put my hand on my chest; still no heartbeat. My hands were as cold as a carcass, and my limbs were starting to feel stiff. Roz slowly nodded his head.

Chapter 5: Bitter Truth

“Follow me ”

Before I could ask any more questions, Roz got up from the desk and walked towards the door I stumbled out of the bed and quickly followed him

“ I know it will be hard, but please try not to get too emotional”

He opened the door and led me into a small garden full of flowers It was raining and the air felt damp, but none of the raindrops were touching me

“What is this place?”

I looked around and saw a small stone carved in the shape of a rounded rectangle The fog made it hard to see, so I took a few steps forward to take a closer look It was a small gravestone that seemed relatively new compared to the ones you normally see. I tried to see whose it was, and froze in place when I saw my name etched on the stone.

“...Jas Lewington…” I muttered under my breath. Clenching my shaking fists, I tried not to start crying.

Roz put a hand on my shoulder and patted my back I wiped the few cold tears that were starting to flow down my cheeks In an effort to stop them from coming out any more, I bit my lip and took a deep breath that made my lungs feel like bursting I had forgotten that I couldn’t breathe anymore

“Can we go back?”

I pulled my hood up to cover my face Roz took my arm and we made our way back to the train My legs were shaky and I felt like passing out, but I kept on walking My eyes were focused on Roz’s shoes The heels were worn out, but the shoes were shiny and clean. They were making a rhythmic tip-tapping sound as he walked which calmed me down a little. I closed my eyes and focused on the footsteps, letting the tears fall to the ground.

Chapter 6: The End?

After we came back from my grave, I was told to wait in the train compartment that we started in I played with my hair as I overheard the reapers talking about what they should do about me It was impossible to tell what they were exactly saying, but it seemed like there was no way for me to return home to my family Roz told me to get ready to leave the train and meet the end

Roz entered the compartment with a bitter smile on his face “ You ready?”

He extended his hand as if he were waiting for me to take it I slowly nodded and grabbed his hand We walked towards the exit of the train

The dreamy voice of the conductor echoed through the train as it came to a slow stop “The train is now approaching your final destination Please make sure to leave all luggage on the train Don’t forget to mind the gap between the train and the platform!”

I let go of Roz’s hand and walked down the small stairs that led to the exit.

“Thanks, Roz” I said in a quiet voice and exited the train in a hurry

Roz was trying to say something to me, but it was drowned out by the familiar noise of the local radio of Martensborough I looked around to find myself standing in the doorway of our old home The smell of my grandmother’s pumpkin pie and the warmth of the fireplace greeted me as I walked towards the kitchen Every step I took made my body feel lighter I walked and walked like some unknown force was pulling me

“Jas, you ’ re here early”

The figure of an old woman, a floral apron tied around her waist, standing in the kitchen was familiar . She was dressed in her favourite red shirt and blue jeans that she wore every day when she was alive. I couldn't speak a single word as she walked towards me. The sound of her slippers dragging across the carpet brought back all the memories. She pulled me into a warm hug. A hot tear dripped down onto her shoulders as I embraced her tight.

“Now now, no need to cry. ”

She patted my back and hummed, trying to comfort me. I grabbed her into a hug so tight that her small body was almost lifted off the ground.

Tears were flowing down my cheeks like a whole waterfall, but there was a smile on my face that I hadn’t had in a million years I couldn’t return home, but I returned to my true home and my family I had missed this feeling so much

“Thank you ”

I wasn’t sure who the thank you was directed towards, but I said it anyway I was thankful for coming here I was thankful for being able to return to my true home I met my end, but the end was the best thing I could wish for

Even though I had always feared death, the end was not as bad as I thought

“It’ll be hard to process at first, but you’ll get it in some time”

RAY HWANG THE KNIGHT WHO ABANDONED HIS ARMOUR

The knight was faithful to his kingdom, bound to serve the king and his people. He fought and protected, finding honour and meaning in his profession. He found order in his marching down the battlefields and solace in hisstructured schedule. He was a happy knight, for his life was stable with duty, food, and shelter Though his body hadlong lost its youth, his spirit was as springy as a young boy

It was an early spring night when he was stationed in the far north to guard the kingdom Donning his rigid and lustrous steel armour, he got on his mighty horse and galloped to the north towers willingly He leashed his horse in the stable and entered the tower He stepped up its spiral staircase, the sound of his steel boots resonating through the tower at his every step He ditched his candles for he thought the moonlight was enough light to guide him to the top Or so he had thought The complacent knight took a wrong step and tripped on a faulty stair He rolled all the way down the tower steps, his armour clanging and scratching as he fell He was fortunate to come out of it with only a sprained ankle

The next morning he woke to the pain of his muscles When he stood up, he could only limp around his room The helpless knight limped his way to the bathroom, where he glanced at himself in the mirror Then he was shocked by his reflection His face was older than he had remembered His hair, now grey, no longer resembled the jet-black hair of his younger self His hair did not grey overnight, but this was the first time he realised how different he looked Howmuch he had changed and aged Perhaps it was due to his injury, but he felt wearier than ever before But he was a dutiful knight, so

he donned his polished and lustrous steel armour and boots and made his way to training.

He struggled to fulfil the most simple tasks. Walking, running, and climbing over walls– his swordsmanship had decayed overnight. His fellow knights realising this, approached and asked about his health. The knight and his bravado rushed to say he was in good health, but his failure to sustain simple training deceived no one. It was only a matter of time before the king would notice. In fact, two nights later, the king summoned the knight to his throne room.

“My knight, you have fought for too long. You have fulfilled your duty to my kingdom. Perhaps it is time for you to seek peace in retirement”

“With all due respect, your majesty, it is only a minor injury that is hindering me With a fortnight of rest, I assure you I will be in as pristine condition as ever before

Please, I beg you My profession is my life”

“A minor injury, that you say? Perhaps I could allow you time to recover, and let’s see it from there”

Thank you, your majesty Please, a fortnight is all that I need Then, I shall return to serving you and your kingdom”

The promised fortnight passed Although the relentless knight seemed to recover, his injury had not fully healedThe generous king turned a blind eye and gave him another month to heal The king knew that losing him meant losing a faithful knight and servant The knight spent days in solitude and nights in reflection during his journey to recovery Some days, he’d feel his body regain its strength, and other days, saw it diminish. The month was almost over, but the knight’s struggled to recover. He still struggled to run and fight skillfully. The knight, long before his injury, knowing that his body had become weaker, had expected he would eventually retire. But his retirement would come too soon – sustaining a minor injury was all it took. He raged at his misfortune. But it was not entirely his fault, as decades of running and battling with heavy steel armour and swords, his sinews were bound to thin and his muscle to decrease in strength.

The king summoned the knight once again. “I see your relentless efforts at recovery. And I see your will to continue serving my kingdom. But my knight, I believe I have given you enough time. And it seems as if your body has given you all it has.”

The king’s words struck the knight like a storm. For the first time in his life, he felt defeated

“Yes, your majesty, I shall now retire It was an honour to serve you and your kingdom” These rigid words were all that he could utter

“I thank you greatly You have been the most faithful and resilient” The king praised his accomplished knight

That night, the knight walked home with a hollow in his heart He looked past the horizon with an empty look in his drooping eyes, and drops of tears flowed down his gaunt cheek

Although his retirement was inevitable, he was not prepared for it

He thought that now his life, no longer to be filled with missions and quests for his kingdom and king, was bound to be hollow and lifeless

The knight did not leave his home until the spring was over He did not wake when the birds began to chirp anddid not sleep until the sun began to rise He could not bear to look at his shameful face reflected in the mirror, so he made sure to only use the bathroom in the dark of night He spent most of his days gazing out of the window at absolutely nothing, begging for the time to pass until it was night again so that the daylight would expose his sorrow no more He ignored and failed to see the beauty of spring–the soft blossoms and vibrant green leaves sprouting, the sparrows singing, the sound of the distant stream flowing– to him, all beauty was futile, and all life seemed to mock his shameful existence.

At the end of spring, summer came. It was no longer cool enough to stay in his shack all day long. So at last, he opened the door and stepped out into the blazing sun. The summer sun had no mercy on the knight’s eyes that hadn’tseen daylight for so long. He squinted his eyes and peaked at his garden, overgrown with invasive weeds and flowers. Then, with a strangely determined face, he hurriedly went back into his shack.

He opened the wardrobe, grabbing his steel armour out of it. The once pristine and lustrous armour had been rusted and patchy with moss by its hiding in the wardrobe’s moisture and darkness But that did not matter to the knight All that mattered to him was wearing the armour for his final quest – an escape from his empty shack and soul robbed of life

The armour ’ s weight seemed to pull the weakened knight into the ground But the stubborn knight protested thatthis did not hinder him He rushed out the door, to the stable to get his horse, and galloped silently to the far south of the kingdom to an abandoned tower His face, too, was happy for it belonged to a sorrowful knight He leashed his horse to an oak tree beside the tower, then thought, why bother, and ran back to unleash it He hoped that his horse to run free, but for his horse was faithful, it lingered around the tower

He hoped that his horse to run free, but for his horse was faithful, it lingered around the tower

The knight continued his way to the entrance He climbed up its stairs vigilantly, making sure he made not his previous mistake When he reached the top, above all the huts and shacks and tall trees, he walked to the tower’s edge He glanced down the tower, feeling the violent and cold wind swaying his already trembling body In spite of his long experience as a knight, great heights still sent a shiver down his spine But strangely, in spite of his fear, he somehow felt numb to it

He stepped onto the tower’s crumbly edges and walked along it like a tightrope With one foot forward and then the other, he traced the tower’s perimeter. With his every step the tower crumbled, clusters of rocks falling down its great height and smashing at its impact on the ground. Perhaps that would be his body when he made one wrong step forward. He stood still, gazing far across the distance, contemplating how sorrowful his life had become. With one leap forward, he’d take his last fall and take his last breath. His life was as fragile as the rocks crumbling down the tower’s edges. He then closed his eyes, giving up his sight to guide him along the edge.

Then at once, he began to weep. A thousand thoughts swept across his head. Why must my life be so painful? What did I do to be repaid like this? Why must I continue to live? But at the same time , I don’t want to die. No one wants to die. One just feels that death may find him the joy he has lost and longed for.

The knight, turned into a coward in front of death, opened his eyes He stepped down the tower’s edge and trembled as he lost all the strength from hislegs He made his way down the stairs and got on his horse, thankful that it had not run away He then galloped into the forest ahead

The summer wind that touched his skin and blew his hair as he galloped across the forest comforted his weary spirit Far into the forest’s lush trees and overgrown flowers, the knight found a path, which he pursued out of curiosity At the end of the path, stood a dungeon He got off his horse and stepped closer to the structure Its grey and crumbly walls, deep green ivy growing into itscracks– the dungeon was more ancient than the kingdom he had come from The dungeon, standing there with its deep and large entrance begging for any courageous soul to explore, the knight was confused why he hadn’t discovered it long before

He stepped into its mysterious entrance, the sound of his steel boots echoing into its endless halls He was distracted by his grand discovery that his sorrow had turned to indifference As he walked deeper and further into its halls, the less the sunlight would guide his way

The dungeon was cold and wet and smelled of mossy earth Just when the light would barely seep into its halls, the knight was faced with a labyrinth He entered it without question or pause He stuck to one wall of the labyrinth, for sticking to one wall always leads to the egress The labyrinth grew darker and colder, leading to him solely relying on his touch and motion to guide him to its end He ran his hands through one side of the wall– until his hands disconnected from it, exposing a large opening. He had reached the end. He ran through the opening, hoping to see the outside world at last. But alas, it was a dead end. If this large opening was not the egress, where else could it be?

The confused knight walked back into the main labyrinth. Though his vision was limited, he had spent enoughtime in the dark for his eyes to adapt to it. He could now faintly see the contour of the crumbly walls of the labyrinth. He peeked from corner to corner, from crevice to crevice, breathing in copious amounts of dust in the process. Whilst he was busy coughing, he found a tiny gap in the floor of the wall. A gap, too small for any knight to fit through. The clueless knight walked back and forth, sighing out his frustration.

His body would only grow colder and weaker He returned to the tiny gap that was too small for any knight to fit through But perhaps a man could fit through it– a man with no armour and no sword The knight looked at the thick armour and boots he donned The protective and resilient armour that symbolised a knight But now, he was disgusted at its heavy weight and thickness He took it off and threw it to the ground The heavy metal clung as it smashed the floor The whole dungeon seemed to quake, being hit by something as tough and hard as itself He then threw his sword down carelessly along with it Without the weight of the armour, his body was now light as air and prone to danger Though he felt bare and exposed, he was more agile thanever before

He crawled under the crack, barely sliding his body through it Out the crack, another long hall awaited the tired knight He slowly swayed across it, his hope growing as the sunlight began to seep in from its end His smile grew at the sight of the outside world The outside world that he once thought mocked him

The sun no longer stung his eyes, and the forest full of life no longer mocked his existence He dragged his tired body and laid on the soft earth His sigh let out his breath as well as his torment He was free Freed from the dungeon, freed from his sorrow– freed from his knighthood No longer bound to kingdom nor king, nor to duty nor chivalry The knight who abandoned his armour was now an adventurer The adventurer got on his horse and soared across the forest

SILENT HEART

An unnamed island suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the Pacific An unclaimed island where it was only ever night, became the main battleground towards the end of the great war Electromagnetic waves from the aurora destroyed electronic equipment, resulting in pre-modern close-quarters combat The dim-lit bunker was filled with soldiers, some with mild concussions while others with half their body missing Sounds of pain and agony filled the room as the nurses bandaged up the soldiers Suddenly, footsteps echo down the hall and a little girl walks into the bunker “Don’t just lie there, you miserable soldiers!” the girl said loudly The girl took out her palm and "butterflies filled the room and swarmed around the injured soldiers. The soldiers panicked and swatted the butterflies away, but soon realized that their injuries were healed. The man with missing limbs had all his limbs and was completely healed. Another man who had a bullet in his eye unraveled his blindfold and could see again.

“You get hurt because you ’ re weak. Get back to the front!”

A swarm of soldiers came rushing to the girl, thanking her for healing them and cheering for her. The girl became annoyed and told them to piss off while the other soldiers pushed around to see her. One of the soldiers broke through the crowd and grabbed the girl's hands and started praising her. Suddenly, he finds a gun pointed at his head.

“Are you that enamored with my Azrael?” the chief asked the soldier

“Chief Mori ” The guards backed away in fear of getting their heads blown off

“Your Azrael?,’ the girl asked “Since when was I your Chief Mori? I’ll bite your ears off”

"“I’m your superior am I not?” he said. “I have the right to correct your attitude and language too”. “I don’t care about military policy,” said Azrael. “I was working at a candy shop until last week when you dragged me out here against my will,” she said as she walked further down the room.

“She’s so strong willed…” the chief said, annoyed.

The soldiers watched Azrael awkwardly as she walked down the room. She noticed a guard sitting by himself, leaning against a wall, reading a book.

“Reading a novel? Right after you nearly died?” asked the girl both confused and annoyed.

The soldier looked up “It’s not a novel, it’s a poetry collection”

“Unbelievable,” said the girl who was rather upset “I’m not telling you to thank me with tears of joy, but don’t you have any intention of hurrying back to the front now that you ’ re all better?”

“I thank you, for sure That’s why I want you to have this,” the soldier said with a calm voice The soldier opened a page of the poetry collection and the page turned bright and turned into the same butterfly that healed the soldiers It landed on the side of the Azrael's head and turned into a brass hairpin shaped like a butterfly

“Thank you, little angel,” said the soldier

“A-angel?” The girl became flustered and her face turned red “But how did you do that just now? Are you also gifted?”

“It’s not much of an ability It’s not going to change the world, like yours can ”

“Me? Change the world? You’re joking.”

“There are some things you can notice when you ’ re just a private. I know all about the special ability doctrine.,” said the soldier. “The great powers of Europe that started the Gifted War are changing the very concept of war. If we are to survive, we must prove this to the military brass as fast as possible. That’s why Chief Mori brought you into the unit.” he explained. “Isn’t that right, Chief Mori?”

Azrael turned around and saw the chief walking towards them.

“So you know about my immortal regiment paper, ” said the chief to the soldier.

“What are you talking about?” asked Azrael, both confused and distressed

“I was certain that it was a classified military document,” said the chief, looking down at the soldier

“Military brass? Immortal? What the hell are you talking about?” she asked “I just came here to save peoples lives!”

The chief put his hand on Azrael’s shoulder “Let’s go, there are more patients waiting”

The soldiers move out of the way of the chief and the girl to let them exit the room The sergeant soon arrived at the bunker and ordered the soldiers that were healed to head back to the front line The excitement of the soldiers die down as they walk out of the bunker

The beautiful aurora covers the night sky and above the unforgiving battlefield filled with the smell of gunpowder and blood One of the soldiers peeks their head out of the trench and watches the enemy camp

“Shit Those assholes set up camp that close They don’t think we ' re a threat”

“I hate to admit it, but we aren’t,” said another soldier “We don’t even have weapons that can reach that far, we ’ re both way outgunned and outnumbered Unless something changes ”

“We won’t lose, we have an angel on our side,” said a soldier, trying to keep the morale high

“You’re right.”

The tension and uneasiness faded away as the soldiers laughed it off. The soldier that gave the hair pin to the girl watched them silently and sighed in relief. He looked up at the sky and saw the beautiful aurora, waving around in the night sky like curtains from heaven. A bright star could be seen in the sky, falling towards the trench. He suddenly became pale and stood up abruptly.

“Shit, everyone get down!”

There was a moment of silence before the artillery shell hit the ground. The trench was filled with a bright light and was later followed by an explosion. The soldiers were blown apart before they could react. A soldier wakes up in a bunker and screams and gasps for air before realizing that his body was completely healed

“I have my right arm, ” said the soldier

“Are you feeling alright?” Azrael asked The soldier turned around and sees the girl rolling up bandages He noticed that she looked tired

“You look pretty exhausted yourself,” the soldier said

“Of course I am, I treated eighty people all at once, the worst one had half their body blown off,” she replied “I could heal his body with my ability but I couldn’t heal his sanity He can’t even say his name ”

"“What about the others?” asked the soldier

“The ones that didn’t die were sent back to the front, they’re lacking men, ” she said Her hands were shaking Angel, my ass I’m basically healing them just for them to die again”

“You’re wrong, ” said the soldier He reached into his shirt and pulled out his dog tag that had the chinese character for true (正) carved into it with one line missing

“What’s

that?” the girl asked

“I’m keeping count of the times that you saved my life Today is the fifth time” He brought out a needle and carved the last line for the character on the tag. “I happen to like tallying with the character for true, everytime I count something and I finish writing the character, I get a sense that something just was created in this world.This is your justness. If it wasn’t for you, I would never have had a chance to see my parents and brother again. I’m glad you ’ re here.”

“Thanks,” said the girl with a trembling voice.

“Private first-class.” The two were interrupted by the sergeant. “The front isn’t looking great, if you ’ re all healed get back out there.” The sergeant ordered.

“Yes sir.”

The soldier put aside the blanket and headed out of the bunker. The girl tried to follow him but stopped herself.

As if to laugh in the face of their efforts, the situation continued to worsen She was treating soldiers once every three days, then once every day Soon, it became three times a day It was no longer correct to even call it a war They were just standing there, being brutalized A normal unit would have given up and retreated long ago, but that never happened; because she was there The hall was littered with wounded soldiers Cries of pain echoed down the hall There was a corpse that was on the ground mixed with the soldiers with fatal injuries while there were those that were completely healed but were unable to move because they’d lost their sanity The girl stood in the middle of the hall in despair

“That’s a fracture on the right radius Treatment!”

She heard a voice behind her and turned around It was Chief Mori standing in front of the soldier from earlier with a chart in his hand

Dad mom I’ll be home soon ” The soldier looked empty and was staring at the ceiling

“I don’t want to heal him,” the girl said, walking up to the chief

“You’re going to abandon his wounds?” the chief asked

“Yeah that’s right Let him fall back and get treatment on his own!” the girl shouted

“I see. You want to free him from the battlefield” the chief faced his body towards her. “That’s a conundrum. I’m obliged to give you orders.” The chief squatted down and put the chart down beside him. “But I have a hard time saying no to a little girl's wishes.”

Abruptly, the chief pushed the girl's face closer to his. “Not yours, though. Do it.” The chief glared at the girl. “You know of the samurai don’t you?” he continued. “They failed to understand war by gun and cannon, and perished. In the war after, the nation that recognized tanks as beasts that could ravage enemy territory, not as simple turrets, massacred the enemy. In naval battles, the nation that failed to realize that planes would be the masters of the sea was the ones to fall.” The chief stood up. “And now, the gifted are changing war. Your role is to make the military understand change Do it, or else the nation will fall”

“I don’t want to!” exclaimed the girl “I just want to save the lives in front of me!”

“Very well” the chief pulled out his pistol and shot the soldier in the stomach The soldier grabbed his stomach and fell over, writhing in pain as a pool of blood surrounded him

“There, he’s dying Fix him”

No one could leave the battlefield The soldier who drew a picture of the girl, the soldier who patted her head, saying she reminded him of his sister, the soldier that made her delicious coffee,

they all died If it weren't for her, they could have left with mere injuries The word annihilation is used when half of a unit is incapacitated, not when half the unit is dead In other words, if half an army is hurt, it retreats and the battle ends But as long as she was there, there was no retreat That’s why they couldn’t lose To lose is a human right, but she took that from them

“Stop him!”

“Take his dagger!”

The girl stared blankly at the soldier she had healed and was stabbed in the arm by a soldier with a dagger in his hand The other soldiers grab the man ' s arms to stop him. The girl looked up at the soldier who’d stabbed her.

“Everyone is going to die because of that bitch. This isn't a war!. Let me go, asshole! Let me go!”

The man continued to try and kill the girl while other soldiers held him down. The girl ran away to the basement and hid under the stairs. She crouched down and healed her arm. She patted her head, looking for the hair pin that she had received from the soldier and noticed that it was gone.

“I must have dropped it somewhere.” The girl crawled forward and stood up. “I can’t lose it after he gave it to me. ” The girl walked around the dark basement looking for the hair pin.

“Azrael,” a familiar voice echoed from the voice pipe. “I’d like you to deliver a message ” That voice It was the soldier who had given her the hair pin

“I promised I’d endure,” the soldier said from the pipe “But your ability, the justness of it has taught me that everyone has their limits”

The girl’s eyes turned wide and she started to run around the basement, frantically searching for where the voice was coming from

“Remember when I called you an angel?” The voice echoed around the basement as the girl continued to search for the soldier while panicking

“You’re more than that You’ve descended on the battlefield as an angel of death”

The girl turned a corner and saw a light peeking out from a door down the hall

“Please tell my family that I said goodbye”

She heard a chair fall over and rushed into the room She slowly approached the door and hesitated to open it She peeked through the crack in the door as she slowly opened it Before her was a stack of poetry collections and a dog tag that had 正 written all over it She looked up and found the soldier hanging from the ceiling with a rope around his neck His lifeless body had a slight smirk The girl silently approached the body and saw a note below his feet that read:

“You are too just”

Azrael stared at the note for a while before moving to unravel the knot. She holds out her palm and a butterfly lands on the soldier, but he doesn't wake up. The realization sets in. The girl stares at her palm and screams.

The memories after were vague. The girl was later arrested for setting explosives and attempting to blow up the carrier. Even after the war, she was kept in isolation at a facility. Not that she would’ve left even if the doors were unlocked. She sat in the corner of the spacious white room where the only light was from the window high above the walls. The girl was just an empty vessel that had lost its sanity. She stared at the bed as that was the only object in the room. She’d been there for as long as she could remember and didn’t realize that she’d been there only three years She continued to stare at the bed The door opened Her eyes darted to the door and saw a strange man approaching

“Wanna go out for a walk?”

The girl didn’t respond She went back to staring at the bed He approached the girl and carefully lifted her up and tried to let go but she fell back down The man thought for a moment and went out of the room and brought in a wheelchair He lifted the girl up once again and placed her on the wheelchair

“How long has it been since you last saw the sun set?” the man asked while pushing the wheelchair down the hall They could see the bright sun on the horizon out the windows of the hall

“You’re saying you can’t? Why not? Because you have a crazy healing ability? Because everyone tried to exploit your ability?”

The girl looked confused

““With me on your side, I can fix all your problems,” the man said, smiling “If you doubt it, I can prove it to you ”

He brought out his right hand and showed her his palm He made his hand into a fist and tapped it with his left hand He brought his hand closer to the girl and placed the hairpin that she lost on her lap Her eyes widened

“It's… Why? I never told anyone about this.”

“I found it in an old bunker. See? I know everything. Try asking me a question, I’ll answer anything.”

She looked up at the man.

“What am I supposed to do now?” she said, looking down at her hairpin. “The people I cared about died because of me. That’s how it's always going to be. There will always be people who want to use my ability against my will. Is there really anywhere I can be allowed to live?”

“There is.” He kneeled down. “There’s just one place in the world that doesn’t need you. ”

The girl looked up. “Come join the agency. We don’t want your ability, what we want is that kindness of yours You didn’t want anyone to die, did you?”

A tear rolled down her face

“That’s why you ’ re in so much pain I want to invite you because you have such kindness I don’t even need your ability, it’s your kindness that means something”

A tear dropped down onto her hairpin and she started sobbing The man simply smiled at her She finally looked out the window and saw the warm colors in the sky

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked “Mhm”

FOR DIVINITY AND VALOR

Chapter 1

“Are you the priest?”

A young, male voice called out from the back, turning the head of the man walking up the stairs. The person who was spoken to was wearing a black cloak fastened by fancy pieces of leather, covering his shoulders and going down to the knees. The speaker was also wearing a cloak; black as well, covering his face, but much more faded and worn-out on the bottom.

“I am a priest,” the man on the stairs spoke “If that is all, please excuse me”

“Do you believe in divinity?”

The words rang out clearly in the empty square The priest angled his head sharply, eyes narrowing, surveying the young male that had the courage to say such words in front of an agent of divinity On the other hand, the young one had a relaxed posture, leaning into a column He seemed genuine; or at the least, it was very well faked

“Are you asking me?”

The voice of the priest sounded much impatient and had an absurd tone; who in the right mind would ask a priest such a question! Everyone knew very well that they were agents of divinity, and everyone knew their faith was undeniable Yet, this man comes up asking about divinity, and the belief that one might have for it Again, to a priest

“To the so-called divine agent in front of me? Well, do you?”

Slight vibrations rolled across the floor as the man jumped from the stairs, hitting the ground. Bending his knees just slightly, he took the full force of gravity without losing a step. He walked like a soldier, shifted his movements like a thief, but ultimately had the air of confidence like another priest. The footsteps stopped in front of the real priest, his hooded face slightly cocked to the right.

“Guess you aren’t used to your authority being challenged,” he spoke mildly. “Or is it that you like to talk face to face?”

A gorgeous mop of brown hair showered down the moment his hood came off. Naturally curled, dazzling in the sunlight, with a streak of black in it Sharp eyes, just a shade darker and slightly covered by his eyes locked into the priest’s, and his full lips curled into a smile

“Can I ask you the purpose of your question?”

The black eyes that the priest owned stared down at the challenger His eyes were much softer, his hair black and straight, hardly changing color in the bright sun From the straight posture to the book around his arm, everything about him showed great authority as well as a level of high education he had gotten As a priest, he should have ignored this man in front of him and gone on his way, but something about the confidence and attitude he had interested him

“Could you answer it first?” It was a challenge; directly provoking, a tone that was not used on religious agents The priest should have taken offense, not being used to the treatment that he was getting from someone that was in a supposed lower position than him He did take offense, but the curiosity overcame and he was opening his mouth the next second.

“I speak the words of divine justice, defend the name of divinity, and put my belief in a higher being. As a priest, that is the one mission that has been given to me. Yes, I do believe in divinity like the one and all.”

There was a slight running silence that ran between the two men after those words. The priest waited for the other to say something, while the other one rocked on his feet, apparently in deep thought. Suddenly he threw his head up and stared at the priest.

“Divinity as in what the church told you, belief as in how they made you… ” the voice went sharp and deep. “How much of it do you think is actually true?”

His tone shifted; the priest’s expression changed with it as well. It only took a couple of words for the conversation to frost up The interest of the priest had changed to a guarded look with a slight bit of confusion and some pique There was one word to be used to explain this situation, and that was violation

However, this challenger refused

He showed sharpness that shouldn’t have been felt, darkness that mustn't exist, and simply showed rejection to divinity As a priest, or just as a normal citizen, this amount of negativity shouldn’t have been felt From the start, it shouldn’t have been shown

“ are you a non-believer?”

After a while, the priest finally managed to spit out the words he had been contemplating for a while The word felt wrong is his mouth; revolting, repulsive, every part of his judgment full of rejection It was hollow; empty, like something that shouldn’t exist.

“‘Non-believer’ is a word that the priests use to justify their actions. We prefer to call ourselves ‘the free ones, ’ the ones who believe in the right direction.” The expression on his face was both cocky and challenging as he answered the question. Leaving the startled priest behind, the challenger patted his shoulder and turned around.

“It has been a nice time meeting you, priest. I think we are going to meet again quite soon, so don’t get too comfortable.”

It only took a couple of steps for the challenger to get away from the square and disappear into the trees. The frayed black cloak followed its master, the only trace of them being the rustling leaves left behind In mere seconds, the priest was left behind in the now empty square

A cold wind blew through the sky, whistling of a new finding

The impact of these words were deeper than felt on the surface Religion, in such a case, was not something to be dealt with lightly It was the one divinity that allowed unification; everything could be stopped, but more so run by the Church There was no problem religiously One divinity, the agents called the priests, and everyone sharing the same belief for an unified world It was how life was run; the priest had always been exposed to such an environment Everyone shared a belief and everyone paid their respects to the messengers of the divine

{Praise the people of the day, for a new savior has come!}

Chapter 2.

Twenty-three years as an agent, and this was the first time the priest ever experienced something like this.

No, it was not the first time he had seen a nonbeliever. It was quite the opposite; being at church, all sorts of people came through the doors. There were some non-believers in the midst, people who refused divinity and decided to push on with the falsity of there being no one.

The priest had to admit, however, that the challenger was much different Pride was one of those elements Reaching a priest first, coming out directly that he was a non-believer, and a declaration of another encounter he was bold and hit fast with his words

Reporting it should have been first His curiosity got the better of him

As the priest was contemplating, another person came up behind him and touched his shoulder It wasn’t quite sneaking up, but he was so deep in thought that he neither heard nor felt anything behind him

“Something interesting?” the voice asked from behind The priest jumped and hit the person on the face behind him

“Gabe!”

“Supposing someone ’ s not in a good mood today Let me guess; chickens and spiders, kids and liars?” Gabe grinned at the priest

His clothes were the same as the priest’s; the cloak was slightly more crumpled and the decorations were a little more modest, but it was enough to show that the status he had was the same - the one of a priest He had deep dimples that showed he smiled a lot, bright eyes to show his joking nature as well as a carefree aura to indicate his openness Gabe put his arms around the priest and poked his cheek “I’ll be guessing about spiders Though chicken does seem like a solid guess”

“What are you doing here, Gabe?” the priest asked, cutting off his words It seemed true that the priest was afraid of chickens and spiders; his ears turned slightly red before going back to its original color

“I arrived at the cathedral before you, so I thought something was off It was very unlike you ”

" I just ran into a very strange person, Gabe He didn’t seem like us ”

“Stranger than you, Evan?” Gabe smiled “Was that the reason you were running late? Listening to him? Definitely off beat”

Evan pondered on telling Gabe about the challenger for just a second It was something that he felt shouldn’t be kept to himself, but the conversation felt so special to him that it would break the moment he told someone else He dropped the idea after a second.

“I don’t think it matters anymore. Let’s go - we ’ re going to be late at this point.”

Divinity, in such a way, changes people.

At the least, that’s what he believed.

The knife in his hand slid out of its sheath in a blink, and then disappeared from sight in another. A hood covered his face; however, from the way he swung his legs around in the tree, it was visible that he was the same man who had approached Evan. He was waiting for someone, his eyes scanning the skyline that was almost empty. The sun was almost setting, but the person that he was looking for had not appeared yet

“Divine sir, in such a way, that he has no respect for the waiting sinners ” the person mumbled, “for the people that are waiting will have no salvation”

The knife slid out once more It was now a fight of patience; he could go out looking for that damn priest first, or the priest could come to him He chose the latter, as the time he already waited would have been wasted

“Wasting time and destiny, as some would say ”

It took another soliloquy before the priest had an audacity to show up Catching the priest in his eye, the man suddenly erased all of his former expressions and put a slight smile on his face

It was eerie how a person could change in a short while, as if he was driven by something Not real, not fake Something in between With that smile, he jumped off the tree and landed right behind the priest

If time is eternal and waiting is an eternity, you had me standing here for quite a while, divine sir,” the man said

The priest spun around, his hands coming up to his waist Seeing that, the man smirked, and then put his hood down

“I don’t think you have anything there that would help you at the moment As you say, you are a priest”

“Apparently you have a thing for sneaking up on people, challenger.”

“Challenger?”

The priest’s eyes slightly shook as he accidentally called the man by the name he had been thinking of inside his head. As if the situation was funny, the man grinned and made a hand motion to tell the priest to keep going.

“It seems as if you haven’t told me your name yet, kind sir. Mind if you help me with that?”

It seemed like words were being tossed around all over the place, but all of them were calculated and thrown at the right place. There was a strange current flowing through them, as if both of them didn’t know exactly what to do with each other. Neither of them wanted to back down, but one of them had to As even in divine words, one ruled over the other

“Mind if you tell me first?” the ‘challenger’ threw back “I’ll be happy to exchange”

The priest nibbled on his lips, then turned back and continued walking the way he came He stopped for a moment, and then tossed a word out of his mouth

“Evan Priest Evan”

It was a fascinating change, the way the man smiled widely He took wide steps towards Priest Evan, overtook him, and then spun around with the same smile

Even the setting sun seemed to shine down on the both of them

{‘Tis is the age of a new revolution - one for the people, as well as by the people}

Chapter 3

Zin was someone who overstepped the boundaries of legality.

Overstepped wouldn’t be the right term for it; he ignored the fact that there were lines placed in the first place. There were common words used to describe him, and they were both very contrasting.

People called him fake for his disregard.

Others called him real for his rawness.

It was the same pattern that he was always faced with. One question was always asked with these evaluations, questioning himself and what the others viewed him as.

‘Sometimes being false… is what makes you real.

But if I’m real

Does that make me false?’

It was the same question that he had thrown to Priest Evan on their second official meeting The first was when Zin grabbed Evan as he went for a walk; they didn’t really talk about anything, but it was a promise for the next time The next time, when Zin had cornered Evan as he was walking home and when he had asked that question

Evan never answered it Actually, he seemed to ignore it

The second meeting was the last one for a while, as Zin had not shown up for weeks after It was to the point where Evan himself had gone looking for him downstreet, a place a priest should not have entered Wearing the clothes of an average citizen, Evan asked for Zin in a pub that he had mentioned working in before The owner looked at him strangely, but gave him an answer that Zin was currently unavailable

“Zin Call me Zin”

It took another week before Zin approached Evan as he was returning home He was not smiling like before, but more so talking about life in a dark matter to the point where Evan wondered once more if these words should be reported

“You know how life works?” Zin asked “In such a dirty way that it is aggravating What I wanted from it was gaiety What it wants from me is the building blocks of my nature It breaks me apart brick by brick from the inside, as divinity fails to protect the ones from beneath”

Evan didn’t say anything for a while Zin continued to speak, as if there was no one there to hear but himself

“You were given a name when you were born. It was a promise of your identity. That is what divinity is. Nothing more, nothing less. Cause like names, it doesn’t actually exist. People believe it does, as that is what they called it as. But when you look into it… there was nothing there from the beginning.”

Zin sighed, pulling out a pipe and sticking it in his mouth. He didn’t light it, but played with it between his teeth, pulling it back and then pushing it out again.

“Doesn’t it feel wrong?” Zin turned towards Evan. “Priest’s claim divinity exists, I am a free one, and you are still here, probably walking as much of a fine line as I am right now. ”

“ ... ”

“Should I have not asked? Is this something that priest’s like to do in their free time?”

“It’s for myself” Evan bit on his lips, then looked away “Curiosity Specialness Whatever you would like to call it First time something has ever caught me in this way As a priest, as you would say ”

Zin’s pipe was swiftly caught by his hand as it fell The expression he had as he looked at Evan was between interest and slight annoyance, but he then laughed and set aside the tangled emotions he had within him

“And yet, Priest Evan, this is why I cannot give up this life Even now, there are things that delight me and pull me in Divinity is one You just became my second”

It would be the combination of a century

Evan had a history of being alone Of course, he had people around him The priests were the ones who raised him, there were agents who were raised with him, but it ended there He was happy being a priest; except for the fact that he didn’t fit in with the rest of the group, and no one seemed to be with him at times

Divinity was one that had But since it was there for everyone, it wasn’t his either

As nothing in the world was his, when Evan met Zin, he had a certain urge to reach out to him He wanted to know more about this non-believer, someone who poked at his curiosity, a challenger but who didn’t act on it physically To say, the interest that he had been burying at his side for the last 23 years, exploded all at once to grab the attention of someone who hated divinity.

He was a priest. But at the same time, he was a being.

It was not only the attention and the specialness of knowing Zin, but the fascination of him as a person. Zin was captivating; dangerous as a person, but had a delightful pull with the ability to enchant people. Evan, as treacherous as it was, became bewitched by such a person.

It wasn’t love. It was something deeper, something that wasn’t felt lightly.

But it was something that made him want to get closer.

“Do you know what Evan means in divine words?” Evan asked Zin one day “It means that divinity is gracious, and he has given a good man to the world”

Zin raised his eyebrows, both curious at why Evan was telling him and annoyed at the fact that the word divinity was used as if it was real “And?”

“So What about you?”

“What about me?”

The meaning of your name Zin is short for something, I’m guessing It doesn’t stand on its own, does it?” Evan looked towards Zin, curiosity weaved in his eyes Zin stared straight back, ignoring the question for a second, but answered it with slight hesitance

“Memories of loved ones stay with the flower of Zinnia As does lasting affection, which life does not give you ” Zin turned towards Evan “Pleased to meet your graciousness I’m known as Zinnia to the citizens, but please do call me Zin”

“ that is a beautiful name ”

“It’s not mine”

The short answer and the sharpness to it stopped Evan from asking a follow up question. He was still curious on why Zin used such a name, but respected his boundaries enough to not ask more about the subject. Silent minutes passed, the only thing audible being the sound of a hummingbird singing high up in the trees. After some more time, Zin slid off the bench he was sitting in and snatched up the sheath that had been resting next to him the whole time. Evan drew back, clearly startled. They were not sitting next to each other, more so oppositely, but the way Zin grabbed the weapon was a reason enough to draw back and feel slight fear.

“I hate divinity.” The sheath wrapped around his waist. “Divinity takes, divinity wants, divinity craves. ” Light flashed, and then disappeared as quickly as it showed up. “And why?

Because of the simple belief that it exists

In the end, such a combination cannot be kept; as divinity rules, it destroys

{Anything is possible with a belief - there will only be gains with no losses}

Chapter 4

Divinity destroys. This was not a belief to Zin anymore; it was a fact. A fact that drove him, and a fact that helped him keep the name of Zinnia. One that was true, but something only the minority had realized and even a smaller population acted on.

When he approached Evan, it was both for his enjoyment and to show how indoctrinated the “agents of divinity” were. Zin had found someone alone, questioned divinity to a priest, and even came out that he was a non-believer; and yet, the two were found talking to each other often It was the combination of a century, as some would say, but it was a complete coincidence on Zin’s side

A coincidence of a priest who was curious enough to continue talking

And, a mistake, to hope for understandment

A priest was a priest to his core He would never be something more or something less than a divine agent who believed to be speaking the words of divinity

They were wrong So very much wrong

Zin knew that fact from 11, when the priests came knocking on his door When his mother answered and got a knife in return When he saw that divinity was not something that existed, but something used for power The body, slowly turning cold, leaving behind a mere child who did not know how to proceed Taking only the knife, which still hung by his side to this day

He decided to refuse He worked towards a world where divinity did not rule, and people were not covered by the illusion it was It was hope that he hung on to The affection that he was given, returned back in his own way However, facing divinity alone was a very long and depressing path Nonetheless, the only path that was given to him

To remember in his own way

Rebelling was a moment, but ruling lasted a lifetime

The rusting chains that were wrapped around his wrists and legs were proof of it It had been a routine of spreading words that divinity was fooling the lower class, who were people who had a higher chance of believing such words In the next moment, priests came out of every corner to catch the rebel Zinnia, who was wanted for defamation of divinity

A defamation that couldn’t have been placed, as the subject it was put to did not exist He didn’t remember how many people he cut down As he swung, more people came to fill in the spots It was pointless to fight such a wave of quantity As for a challenger, it couldn’t have been a more vain ending

Without a trial, it was clear to be an execution.

The chains weighed him down. The cell he had been thrown into had the capacity to barely hold a grown man; the walls were scratched, blooded, as well as cracked all over, and the chains bolted down to the floor would be the last anchors a prisoner had to this world.

On what would be his last day before the final sentencing, footsteps echoed through the prison floors. There was no one else on this floor; even the guards were stationed outside, so the echoing got louder as the owner of the sound slid to a stop in front of the cell.

Zin looked up first to see black eyes staring into his own brown ones.

Evan ignored Zin as he continued “You were an interesting person, Zin I respected you for that”

“What do you want me to say?” the eyes of a prisoner couldn’t have been brighter How do you want us to be?”

“Zin” Evan looked down “Even if this is wrong, I wanted to say this

you are real That’s what I believed this whole time”

He had finally answered the question The question that had been thrown to him on their second meeting, the one that he ignored at the time, was finally answered. Zin blinked for a second, then lunged out as far as the chains wrapped around his body allowed him to get closer to Evan.

“And? You claim I am real. Yet, you stand on the side of divinity, refusing to see what is right and true.” Zin growled, showing the dangerous side he held. “So let me tell you the truth.

We are kept together with the one belief that a higher being exists. That divinity, in case, exists above us. Do you think that’s true? How much of it do you think is real?

We wanted someone. We needed someone to keep us together.

We were the ones who created divinity. We created the higher being

They were two different people from two different sides of the world, but they had once been united Treacherous and maddening as it was, the two fascinated each other Those, however, were emotions of the past There was nothing common between them anymore - there was nothing from the start

“Do you remember when we first met?” Evan spoke first “You asked if I was the priest I told you I was one of them, an agent of divinity”

“Does that matter anymore?” Zin asked, looking up

“You spoke words that went against my nature Yet, I continued to listen and tell you words of mine”

Divinity is a fantasy we created, your graciousness What is to say we can’t break it apart?”

To the end, Zin couldn’t let go of Evan He tried once again to make the other listen; to please hear his pleas and to realize the truth of this world

It was the opposite for Evan; he had to let Zin go A priest and a non-believer could not be one, as they were two contrasting people of the age Divinity was real Everything else was not It took him everything he had to get up from his ground, but Evan did with his last string of reason

“I’m sorry, Zinnia”

“ Priest Evan” “Zinnia”

Those were his last words as he moved away from the challenger A challenger shall remain a challenge; and the hero would be the one who overcame it, to be praised throughout his lifetime and remembered as a legend Zin looked at the retreating form, his previous demeanor fading, as he sank to the cell that would be his last resting place

“You asked me once, what my name was, ” Zin called out to Evan His eyes were guarded once more, his body rigid and tight “I don’t think I ever gave you an answer ”

“ ” Eyes shut tightly, forehead scrunched, and with feet shuffling for the nearest exit, Evan didn’t look back The next words to come out of Zin’s mouth would be engraved in his heart forever.

“Azrael.”

Please.

“Whom the Lord helps.”

The road to the ax was long and lonely.

It was only when his head rested on the block did everything feel real. The emotions he felt , the words he had said , the people he loved… they were not his to keep anymore.

All he had wanted to do was to free the world from divinity.

However , the roots of it were too deep They tangled across every mind and every thought, something that couldn’t be pulled out without damaging the society to the core

In the end , the last person he thought of was his poor mother So even when the ax came down , he wanted to prove to this world who he was and to what extent he would go to

And so the defender of the free ones , the one who broke against divinity, the non-believer , left his final message with the people

“For this has proven

There is no such thing as divinity”

{All stories come to a close in the end}

{Divinity exists

Lower beings do not believe in a being above them, leading to the belief that they control

Divinity rules

A creator above them shines for the gaiety of the sinners

Divinity gives

We have the ability to reach out to the divine ones; the ability that divinity itself has given

As justice will always serve,

And the savior will be there for you.}

“Who said that , mama?” A young child , his eyes half covered by a mop of brown hair , looked up at his mother and asked. His bright eyes showed both intelligence and innocence , looking at the world with fascination and sharpness.

“The divine creator , my affection. Our savior.” the mother answered back. She rocked the child in her arms , tousling his hair slightly and kissing him on the forehead. “My little Zinnia , always remember that divinity is there for you.

You will rule this world one day with its power

As divinity gives”

FIRST YEAR POET

Things changed last summer I was sitting with elevenyear-olds at a literary camp in the botanical garden, looking at Gerber daisies, listening to them talk about the feelings they evoked My plan on the summer job had been to learn the names of plant species, not write poems, but Avery had insisted as we stared at the daisies, so I started scribbling Expecting some version of “ roses are red,” I got:

Daisies, multi-layered, like people They can lose a few petals and still be beautiful But if you destroy the center, you ’ ve destroyed the most important part Like people

Read yours, Jacoby! they chanted, so I did When I’d finished, they snapped their fingers the way the teacher had taught them to After that, the words just came Back on campus, they played around in my head, offering commentary on everything I saw

Throwing frisbees , soaking up rays, happy and carefree

For now

When I tried to study, the words wanted a notation in the margins of every page.

You’re the science guy. And the poet.

But I didn't have time for anything but labs and formulas.

You do.

No, I told them, but they wouldn’t leave me alone.

One night I prayed for them to go away. I haven’t prayed since I was little. Jacoby, you can’t live in thi world without God, Mommy used to say, but by the time I was ten, I thought you could. Not that I didn’t believe in a creator deity. I couldn’t work out how the world had come to be without one. But it seemed to me that after everything had been created, he went away. I didn’t see any mystical force changing things for the people I knew. When Daddy got hurt, prayer didn’t heal him. Twenty years later, Mommy was still waitressing at Earl’s diner. Mommy says prayer gave me a brain that would get me to college and a better life. I thought genetics did that, just like they made me tall, gave me curly brown hair and light brown eyes, but I didn’t correct Mommy Tonight, though, I prayed

Before God could answer, the words said: Give us a year

I said Yes Yes, I’d spend a year letting the words take me places I’d never go on my own

Chapter 2: Boarding House

If you sit on the north side of the park in the town that borders the campus, you’ll see an oddity: a Creole style townhouse It’s a three-story affair with a flat brick frontage, wrought-iron balconies on the upper floors, and several large, shuttered windows painted green I go there when I’m missing Mommy On Sunday afternoons, we’d go into town, into some historic neighborhood, and walk around, just the two of us We’d stop at every house, and she’d tell me all about the style or architect or history Creole townhouses were her favorite She told me how they got popular after a big fire because they were made of brick or stucco instead of wood

That house across from the park looked stately, like some place Mommy would hove to live In spite of how it looked, the tenants were not like the professionals that went into the glassy buildings on either side There was Pete, the words called him Pete, an artist Looking for beauty in a city full of ugly:

Finding it in the eyes he sketched , eyes full of intention

A spark that kindled his own

Reminding him that there was still time

Sasha , the army vet , who I imagined was

Dressed in camouflage

Trying to hide herself from what happened over there but relentlessly seeing their faces , eyes flung open, as surprised by death as she was Sasha , wanting to forget so she could live

All she could manage was camouflage

Herman , who liked his afternoon libation

Scruffy and unkempt

Only he knew why

He shuffled to the fancy liquor store two doors down every day around this time and brought back something in a brown paper bag

Or I imagined Maggie, her once spiky blond hair now dyed purple or pink or red , her other eyebrow pierced, walking out of the green door with her guitar slung over her shoulder.

As confident as ever on her way to do big things, sexy in black and white striped tights and a red and green plaid skirt that stopped short of a reveal

Taking long strides with her short legs

Unimpeded and undeterred and unafraid.

One day Id have to knock on that door , step in and see for myself how close the words came to the truth

Chapter 3: Graduation

Crawfish boil That’s what we looked, except we were sitting in rows, wearing mortarboard hats, waiting for our names to be called The heat made everyone squirm I tugged at my collar which felt like a noose but not really because it wasn’t tugging back

Gas chambers and nooses don’t belong in casual thought The words had been fierce in the last couple of months, fighting for a place on the page alongside my lab notes I stretched my legs I hadn’t wanted to wear a suit, but it was their big day too Sweat beaded on my face As I wiped it away with the handkerchief Professor Wheaton had given me, I thought back to the poem that had change his mind about me

Black and white usually produce gray Either and neither Not so with people With people, a label is assigned If Im lucky: Mulatto When Im not: nigger

My back was wet, too Not from the sun From words unspoken Jacoby Thibodeaux My name startled me I stood up and began the long walk Each step flattened an area of grass Everyday me would have bent down to examine the impact Graduating me kept moving On the steps, my hard-bottomed Goodwill shoes clacked Every clack took me closer to a new reality that I would create for myself One without beakers

Chapter 4: The Conversation

Families are different Some are stiff and formal with each other Others laugh easily Sometimes there’s fear We were a mix of all of that Patrice and Basil loved They demanded respect They had expectations

Son, I’m really proud of you Daddy looked good in his second-hand suit

Beyond proud, Mommy echoed, looking just as good in her Sunday best Her kinky hair, normally pulled back into a ponytail, was now sleek and

pooling in curls at her shoulders, a splurge normally saved for Easter

She’d taken on extra shifts to be able to rent a car to come see me take that walk Daddy had been delivering papers He couldn’t throw them to the porch, his back and all, so he put them in the mailbox until people complained and he got fired

You make a decision yet? she was asking

I took a bite of our shared dessert Yeah, I have I took another bite I’m going to take a gap year, I said

The spoonful of tiramisu in Mommy’s hand froze in mid-air. Say what? Gap year?

You heard right, it’s my turn now. I ignored the words. They didn’t understand Basil and Patrice. I’ve been focused on science for the last eleven years. I want to do something different.

Different? Mommy scrunched her face the way she did when she watched hoarders explaining why that had to hold onto sixty-two doll heads.

What, Son? Daddy asked.

Anything, everything. I want to live!

I scanned my brain for a different combination of words that would make them understand.

How you gone live? Mommy challenged

I’ve got some money saved, and I can get a job Those words sounded feeble

You got five job offers What’s wrong with one of them? Daddy asked

They’re all science jobs

That’s what you went to school for She ended the sentence with my name, but I heard Fool Mommy pushed the dessert away

I reached into my pocket and handed her a piece of paper

a blank page evokes a strange sort of fear but the breakthrough comes and soon the page is covered in black marks each one a reflection of my evolution

What is this foolishness? Mommy asked She slid the paper to Daddy

Poetry, I said I want to write poetry I’ve wanted to write it for the last three years

Mommy burst into tears and reached over and took Daddy’s hand Daddy looked up from my poem

Boy, your mind is bad.

Chapter 5: The Waterboys

I’d seen them There in the park every afternoon with their drinks on the warm days when the sun drained, and cold water was welcome even from street hustlers

Ice cold water C’mon, you know you want it, the shortest one with the loudest voice would cry out

Back when I was in the park to watch the people come and go from the boarding house, I’d sometimes walk over and buy a bottle of water for a dollar. I had to be sure to have a one-dollar bill; otherwise, they’d try to talk me into tipping them four.

C’mon, man. We trynna do something positive, ya feel me?

They said that a lot, ya feel me?

They operated on the corner opposite from the Creole townhouse where I’d now taken a room. My room was just a bed and a chest of drawers. The community bathroom was down the hall. It was one of the few boarding houses left in the city that was cheap and came with breakfast and dinner. Nothing fancy – for breakfast, there was bread and oatmeal. For dinner, a pot of beans or a bowl of meatless spaghetti or soup On Saturday mornings, you could get a slice of bacon and cook yourself an egg

On Sundays, Mrs Morgan made a chicken and rice casserole Like George, who I used to watch make his daily trek to the liquor store, I ventured out every day to the park Occasionally, I’d go see the Waterboys

You live at that halfway house, man? the little one with the big voice whose name was Kelvin asked me one day

It’s not a halfway house, I said

No disrespect, ya feel me? Just seem like downtrodden people live there, ya feel me?

Downtrodden? I was surprised by that word What do you mean? I asked

Just folks that got problems, ya feel me? No job, like you, ya feel me? Drinking problems, ya feel me?

Deshawn, whose head was always wrapped in a doorag, added.

I wondered, were they judging or just making observations? How do you classify yourselves? I asked. We businessmen, ya feel me? Xavier said, standing up from his foldable chair to meet me eye-to-eye. He was tall and light-skinned like me but tanned from being in the sun every day. We supply a demand, ya feel me?

I wasn’t trying to dis, I said. Ya feel me?

They laughed and Xavier sat back down. Yeah, we feel ya. Since you ain’t got no job, Xavier added, come sell with us.

No, I’m good

What, you got a trust fund? Deshawn asked Or you too good?

Neither I’m a writer, I said A poet

For real? Kelvin looked both impressed and dubious You like a rapper? Spit something

I drew a blank I don’t have my book with me, I said, hoping I didn’t look as weak as I sounded Alright, we feel ya, Dashawn said Next time Xavier, show him what a real poet look like Xavier didn’t stand this time He just started

On these streets

Bustling, hustling, No trust fund

So I gotta find a way

Avoiding the laws but I need that pay

Can’t be a statistic

My mama ain’t gone have it But ain’t nothing free

Ain’t noboby want me to be More than they decided I deserve but screw ‘ em , Immo serve it up, build it up,you wanna stop me , you better keep up, run ahead and build a wall ‘cept that can stop me cause baby I’m superman I’mmo jump and you gone be looking up ‘til I’m so far gone you can’t do nothing but give up on trying to hold me down.

Now that’s a poet, Deshawn said. Ya feel me?

Chapter 6: Coffee Shop

Shelby had seen me in the park down the street, homeless but not yet downtrodden You need a job? she asked

I nodded yes, and she led me to Grinder, the coffee shop her daughter had owned. As we walked, she told me about her daughter being killed closing up one night. I hadn’t understood how she could keep it going.

Laura’s spirit is here, she explained. When she’s ready, we’ll both go.

She opened the door to the shop, and it felt like sunshine poured out and pulled me in. Like baptism, I’m made new.

The first thing I saw was the stage. A sign, the words said.

The tables glinted with sticky rings left by the drinks that had rested there. Crumbs were scattered across the floor like fairy dust The smell of cinnamon hung in the air Shelby took me to the back and pointed to the cleaning supplies

I grabbed what I needed to wipe down the dozen tables that filled the space and sweep up the crumbs that even covered in dust looked good enough to eat As I mopped, machines began to whir

Shelby brought out a coffee and carrot cake muffin and gestured for me to take a seat

What’s your name?

Jacoby

Where are you staying, Jacoby?

I was at the boarding house across from the park, but now I don’t know

You steal? she asked, staring at me hard.

No. Never.

You can stay in the back. I’ll pay you eight dollars an hour and you can keep your tips.

You’re too kind, I said.

I’m just trying to be human, she replied.

Chapter 7: The Return of Maggie

There’s what you imagine and what you get I’d read all about Jericho’s Tattoos and Piercings. The most important thing I’d learned: I probably wouldn’t get hepatitis there. I pictured whiter and brighter and the smell of disinfectant. It wasn’t that at all. It was dim and permeated with the faint rusty smell of blood. I was greeted by a barrel-chested man who looked bored. You got an appointment, Mate?

I shook my head no.

You know what you want?

I rummaged through my backpack and pulled out a drawing. It’s the true north symbol surrounded by atoms, I said.

I can see that, Mate. He walked toward the register, and I followed. 350, Mate.

The shop was two in one: Jericho's and The Rest Jericho’s station was on a platform Along with a luxurious chair was a padded bed like the ones massage therapists used His area was brightly lit, and pictures of his famous clients took up every space inch of wall space The rest of the shop was dark Each station had a lamp with an adjustable arm to add illumination, along with identical chairs that were in various stages of recline

Name’s Syd, the barrel-chested man said, leading me to his station

Jacoby

I know, Mate He motioned for me to sit Where do you want it?

On my back, upper right. I settled in and looked around.

You got a girlfriend or somebody to help you with it?

No.

It’s going to be hard to take care of there. I suggest your arm, right below the shoulder bone. You’ll be able to reach it there.

I nodded.

Is that a yes, arm, Mate?

Yeah, sorry. Yes, arm.

I heard the buzzing and thought of the barbershop Mommy used to take me took It sounded like clippers taking away hair, lining up edges It didn’t feel like that The moment the first needle penetrated my skin, I wanted to tell him to stop

Self-inflicted feeling Something different from the day to day

I kept my eyes closed and listened to the needles from around the shop buzz in stereo Tears ran down my cheek He paused, I thought to give me a chance to breathe Instead, I felt a soft hand wrap around mine Like a phantom, there she was

Maggie I closed my eyes again and squeezed her hand, letting its warmth and the buzzing and vibrating lull me to sleep

When you tell this story, leave out the part about passing out, she said, as I wobbled precariously at the sink and tried to focus on the tattoo

I fell asleep, I corrected, as she helped me back to Syd’s station I tried to focus on his instructions, but I couldn’t They why’s of Maggie reappearance distracted me

Your ink is badass, she said She pulled an orange juice out of her bag and handed it to me

There wasn’t anybody else, I replied.

She helped me to my feet. Where to? she asked, wrapping her arm around me.

Her scent, patchouli and grapefruit, greeted me like an old friend. As we walked toward the coffee shop, she told me all about her life.

I was supposed to spend six months in China, she said, teaching English during the day and gigging at night. The school was not legit, ran out of money three months in, so I had to come back. Decided I might as well finish my degree. Horticulture. ‘Cause I like plants, she said in the same defiant way she’d explained all the piercings when we’d first met. And on it went until we reached the shop.

As she deposited me on my cot, she scanned the shelves containing baking supplies How’d you end up here?

I met a lady named Shelby, and she gave me a job and a place to stay

Okay, let me be specific: What are you doing here? What do you mean? I’m living life

Really?

The look of concern on her face reminded me of Mommy, who had cried when I told her about the words

Daddy had declared that I was insane, paid the check and left me sitting in Percy’s Steakhouse

Let me show you something I took my journal from under my pillow, flipped it open and handed it to her

The park used to be a getaway, a place I’d go to clear my mind I watched the others or sorted through thoughts of molecules and compounds, feeling the pressure, but not really since my brain was built for it My future was bright Today I sit here one of them Desperate and alone

For the first time, I felt fear and confusion, I said as she read The words gave me that They gave me a real human experience

You talk about the words as though they have power, she said. They only have the power you give them.

Chapter 8: The Words Unleashed

I was shook Maggie had challenged the words I’d given up everything for them Had they tricked me? Would they fail me? I took out the piece of paper that Mommy and Daddy had left lying on the table, the one with the lines of my first poem What else? I demanded of the words What else?! They took their time, but finally came Presented with a blank page the flashing screen causes creative seizures after the first word relief the second word hope and so it goes not content to lie flat on a page the words take sound to the listeners bravado in my secret place quivering emotions stolen glances do they understand does it matter a blank page evokes a strange sort of fear covered in black marks a breakthrough each mark a reflection of my evolution

What else you got?

The words said: What else you got?

And then I understood I hadn’t been waiting on them So, I wrote

At some point you start to think about your life what you ’ re doing, what you ’ ve done you wonder what if , but you don’t linger because at some point you know that what if is irrelevant

Not like when you were <20 unknowing unflappable uncontrollable hopes and dreams run amok taking you places you weren’t mean to be But you bounced backed buoyed by what if by another chance by it ain’t over ‘til it’s over by YOLO

But mistakes settle in They make demands

They make threats

They turn your what ifs cold

Instead of hope your what ifs become fear and you become careful too careful , so careful that you almost missed the fork that led you to something different

The fork was the words , and instead of the lab you went to the boarding house and you got a tattoo.

You knew homelessness for a few hours , got schooled in poetry by street hustlers , and you found the one that nearly got away

What if can lead you to what is and what is is where you belong