September & October, 2009
6 Whose Homework is It?
By Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith RN, MA, MFT
3
19 School Profile:
2009 Families of the Year?
Marin Waldorf School
By Patricia Saunders
APPLE FamilyWorks
12 13 14 15
20 Kids & the Arts:
You Are SO Dramatic
Education Programs
By Kate Magill
Counseling Programs Special Needs Programs Calendar
22 Fairfax: A Destination for Family Health
Cover photo courtesy of Shooting Stars Productions www.shootingstarsphoto.com
16 Want Healthy, Active Kids Try Juggling
By Jeff Civillico
18 2009 School Directory
FamilyWorks Magazine is published by FamilyWorks® Executive Director: Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith Editor:
Lew Tremaine
Marketing:
Doug Silberstein
Art Director/Website: Christine M. Astin Web Publisher:
Art Severe
Printed by:
Marin Sun Printing
FamilyWorks® Board of Directors: Amy Whitelaw, President Maria Villani, Treasurer Mark Clark, Secretary Anjana Berde, Board member Paul Ricken, Board member
2 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
FamilyWorks® 4 Joseph Court, San Rafael, CA 94903 email: familynews@familyworks.org Read FamilyWorks Magazine on-line at www.familyworks.org
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Editorial Information: Lew Tremaine Phone: (415) 492-0720 x231 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: familynews@familyworks.org Circulation: This major family magazine is published bi-monthly and widely distributed FREE throughout Marin and Sonoma Counties: through home deliveries, distribution to over 200 community locations - stores, public and private schools, medical offices, hospitals, and family-related businesses – and direct mail to thousands of active participants and sponsors of FamilyWorks®. © 2009 FamilyWorks®, All rights reserved. FamilyWorks is a nonprofit agency serving families in the Bay Area. No portion of FamilyWorks Magazine may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. Appearance of articles, editorials, author’s point of view, advertisements or announcements for products and services in FamilyWorks Magazine does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by FamilyWorks® and FamilyWorks® is not responsible for its content or the reactions of readers to its content. FamilyWorks Magazine reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason. Unsolicited manuscripts and photographs are welcome and should e-mailed to: familynews@familyworks.org www.familyworks.org
2009 Families of the Year By Patricia Saunders
Finalists for the 2009 Families of the Year have been selected by the FamilyWorks panel of judges made up of community leaders from Marin’s non-profit agencies and businesses. The recipients of the Volunteer Family of the Year, the Family Unity Award and Family Friendly Business of the Year will be announced at the 5th Annual Families of the Year Gala on October 16, 2009.
Inspirational Stories
Families of the Year Who will they be? Family Unity Award...
given each year to a family that stays strong as a family unit, despite great adversity.
Volunteer Family of the Year... given to a family that volunteers as a family unit to make a difference in their community.
2009 Families of the Year Judges Suzy Coxhead
(Center for Volunteer & Non-profit Leadership)
Bobbie Casey (Autodesk)
Laura Alder
(Marin Woman’s Commission)
Anjana Berde
(Tamalpais Bank)
Paul Ricken
(Pheonix American Financial Services)
Some families are inspirational models that overcome obstacles and give of themselves to make our community healthier and stronger. Here are the stories of six such families.
Family Unity Award Finalists The Cifuentes/Alvarez Family– Nominated by Marianne Slattery, Early Head Start Emilson Alvarez, was born with kidney disease. He had feeding intolerance and had a feeding tube through which he could only take formula because he could not take food by mouth. He was unable to walk, took numerous medications, and was finally placed on dialysis. The outlook for this little one was grim. Emilson’s parents, Carmen Cifuentes and Elmer Alvarez, went daily to UCSF to receive medical care for Emilson. They would go together, often staying overnight in the hospital. When Elmer had to work, he would make the trip to San Francisco, then back to San Rafael for work and back again to S.F. to be with his family. Finally, Emilson required a kidney continued on next page
www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
3
transplant – a kidney that was happily donated by Carmen. Emilson is now a thriving four year old boy. His family is a wonderful role model of strength. Through all of the difficult times and various illnesses Emilson experienced, they never gave up hope. Despite her own challenges, Carmen and Emilson continued to come to Early Head Start’s parenting meetings whenever they could. She was always smiling and so happy to be with her son, modeling for all that adversity can be overcome by a unified family. The Alvarez/Mendez Family – Nominated by Saul Godinez, Canal Alliance Francisco and Sonia met each other at a traditional Aztec dance group where they fell in love and later married. Through this dance group, Francisco and Sonia became strongly tied to the Latino community and the dancing provided stress relief and community support during difficult times. In 2003 the Alvarez-Mendez family was referred to the Canal Alliance Fatherhood Program. Soon they were able to enroll their then three and seven year old children in the childcare program, which provided the family with stability so they could work. In 2004, Francisco had to leave his wife and two children, Alexis and Sonia, to return to Mexico to make funeral arrangements for his mother. As a result of the loss of income, the family forfeited their apartment and moved in with a sister. For several months, four adults and six children lived together in a small two-bedroom apartment. Just before the birth of their third child in 2007, Canal Alliance secured subsidized housing for them. In October, Anthony was born with Down Syndrome and a heart condition. When Anthony was two months old, he was admitted to UCSF for open-heart surgery and remained in hospital until he was five months old. Mom and dad struggled to support the older children while caring for Anthony in the hospital. They had a difficult time juggling work, family responsibilities, and frequent visits and overnight stays with Anthony.
4 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
The Alvarez-Mendez family is a model of strength for other families in the community. Despite their difficulties, they helped build a strong community through participating in the Aztec dance group, the Fatherhood Group and San Pedro school activities. Today they are leaders in the community, teaching Aztec dance to families at the Fairfax/San Anselmo Children’s Center and mentoring in the Canal Alliance Fatherhood program.
Volunteer Family of the Year Finalists The Palma/Rivera/Rodriguez Family – Nominate by Vanessa Vasquez, Canal Alliance Marina Palma participates in the “Adult Concillio” in the Canal Community, an organization dedicated to empowering the citizens of the community. She is also on the board of directors of the Canal Wellness Center, is an active member of the Marin Organizing Committee & Viviendo Verde. Marina is an inspiring parent who is actively involved in the lives of her daughters’ Alexis and Monica, and is a strong advocate for their success. Alexis Rodriguez and Monica Rivera are active in “Youth Concillio”, lead the recycling program and are members of the Youth Leadership Institute and other community service groups at Canal Alliance and at school. Alexis is also a peer educator on anti-smoking and spoke to her peers at her high school graduation in June. Alexis inspires other students daily. She is a role model and also asks peers to step up to their potential and responsibilities. This family is truly a family of leaders that has positively affected Marin family life by providing an example of what families can achieve when they put forth the effort. Together they have transformed from a family that received assistance to one that is self-sufficient, advocates for themselves, and for others in their community.
www.familyworks.org
continued on page 10
Family Unity Award Finalists
The Cifuentez-Alvarez Family
The Alvarez/Mendez Family
Volunteer Family of the Year Finalists
The Challenger Family The Schinske Family
The Sicroff Family
The Palma/Rivera/Rodriguez Family
www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
5
Whose Homework Is It? It’s another school year. You are hopeful. You are worried.
You remember the battles, excuses and half-truths: “I’m going to get good grades this year.” “Get off my back. I don’t have any homework.”
“I’m just checking in with Sam about our project. I’m not on Facebook.” “But Ma-ah-am! I have to go to the mall to buy stuff for my science project. It’s due tomorrow.”
“My computer is a piece of junk. It lost the homework files.” “I know it’s midnight but I have to finish this.”
by Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MA, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples, parenting and co-parenting concerns. She is a renowned family educator. Learn more great parenting skills in her Positive & Peaceful Parenting class. For more information on counseling and classes, see pages 12 and 13 of this issue. 6 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
You remember your threats and rebukes: “You’re not going anywhere this weekend until xxx is finished.” “If you don’t get good grades no college will accept you.” “You can’t have the car unless xxx.” “This report is sloppy and rambles.”
“After all I’ve done for you, you could at least try.”
“If I get one more call from the teacher, you’re grounded for a month.” “You’re just like your uncle - - - Lazy!” www.familyworks.org
Overwhelmed – by all of our other responsibilities
The Trap is Invisible at First
The first time it happens, we just don’t see it coming. We’re confused. We feel guilty, upset, worried and angry. We don’t want our children to fail. We actually believe that the “emergency” is unrelated to anything our once compliant child could foresee. We commiserate, ask questions, and maybe give a mini-lecture on the importance of planning as we drive at 9 PM to the art store, or rummage through boxes in the basement to find the proper resource that is desperately needed. Perhaps the first time it was 10 PM that, exhausted and tired of arguing, we surrendered and sat down at their computer to finish their report. The second time, we began to worry that we’d been duped. But, our child insisted that the teacher just didn’t make the assignment clear and, while we had a little steam coming out our ears and a building headache, we felt that this was an exception. After all, s/he’d been sick, forlorn about the break up with the boyfriend/girlfriend, busy with basketball, soccer, tennis, etc.; besides, we’d been working long hours and probably should have been more on top of things. In other words, it wasn’t just the child’s fault it was probably our fault, too. Somehow this pattern continues. The kids manage to string us along for quite a while. But at some point – we hit the wall and ask ourselves: “Wait a minute – whose homework is it?” The obvious answer is – our child’s.
Reduce your childs feelings of being: Uncreative Unable to meet expectations Exhausted and time pressured Discouraged Entitled Realistic Expectations
Some children excel in people skills, sports, music, and academics. Some kids. But most children have areas in which they do just fine and maybe one area in which they shine. Some are average (C) students across the board. Some have learning disabilities and/or need accommodations. Some kids hate sitting still, resist boring drills and long-term projects. They love new, different, physically active, outdoor activities. They’ll excel at electronic games and spend hours on Facebook, but avoid plodding, repetitious drills, homework and writing projects. These kids may find a passion later in life that brings them back to school but for now academics are agonizing.
How is it that our kids: Don’t take responsibility for their homework,
continued on next page
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Don’t plan ahead,
Pressure us at the last minute to run around and do their homework for them, and Manage to make it our fault?
The answer is this: We have bought into the idea that it is the parent’s responsibility to have the homework looking perfect and turned in on time. It’s as though it is our homework. We care more than our child does about whether the homework is finished, and thus, the child/teen no longer feels responsible. Shifting the Responsibility Back
Calm yourself when feeling: Impatient – at their slow pace or lack of understanding
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Anxious – that we don’t have time to help them?
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866-654-2445
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www.NuBeginning.com continued on page 10 FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
7
How Does Your Child Learn and Grow?
Talk with each teacher. What do they think your child’s learning skills and style are? How can you help them at home? Is your child alert, tired, or bored in class? Who are his/her friends? What are the class subjects, timelines, and expectations? Can the homework be cut down for now? How will you and the teacher keep each other informed about issues or problems?
Know Your Child’s Temperament
Does your child study best alone in a quiet place or do they do best with music blaring, or in the middle of the living room (low sensitivity, low distractibility)? Does your child sit still and work through difficult problems for 15 or 20 minutes or does s/he need to sit on an exercise ball while studying, swaying back and forth and chewing gum (low/ moderate activity or high activity)? Does she only stick with a novel activity with frequent positive reinforcement e.g., video games, tweeting, IM, Wii, etc. (high approach; high adaptability)?
Goodness of Fit
At FamilyWorks we recommend having a Temperament Profile for each child and adult in the family. After a consultation of the results of the questionnaire, adults learn ways to guide their children based on their behavior traits. If you are a parent who is highly “persistent” and moderate to low “activity”, you can stick with a project for a long time regardless of frustration and difficulties. This inborn trait makes academics easier for you. If, for example, your child is low persistence and higher activity, it is literally uncomfortable for her/him to sit still and navigate through learning barriers to the end of the assignment. Breaking up the project into small pieces and sitting still for shorter periods of time will lead to more success. If your child is fast “adapting”, s/he may like to jump from activity to activity. While, if you are slower “adapting” you may avoid shift-
8 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
ing gears, once more making it easier for you to stick to one subject/project. The point is, you may be expecting the child to study your way and it may not be a good fit for his/her temperament. In every case, what holds the child’s interest, and what makes the child feel good, will get the child’s attention. So making the homework fun and providing positive reinforcements will lead to more completion of tasks. The Fatigue Factor
All the understanding of Temperament in the world will not make up for a negative fatigue factor. Many kids have each afternoon so crammed with sports, music, drama, daycare, and social clubs that little energy is left to concentrate on homework. • Assess the school/sports/social balance: • Does your child start homework after dinner every night because of after school activities? • Are the weekends so full that there is no “do nothing” time? • Is time set aside for fun, relaxation with parents as well as focus on tasks?
Planning and Reinforcements
With the busy life we all lead, planning is essential because time is limited. Many children need a lot of time to complete their homework. So, set specific goals and establish a sequence for completing the homework. Perhaps begin with the most difficult, then take an easier assignment, then the next most difficult, etc. Create a homework calendar. Enter project beginning, mid and end due dates. Outline specific baby steps: When, on a reliable and predictable basis, will homework be done? How much time is needed? What materials are required, by when and whom?
Create a Consequence Chart.
Just as employees have performance reviews and incentives for production, so can your student. Sit down with your children and ask them to build in their www.familyworks.org
own Consequences Chart. Make the reinforcement frequent, near the time of completion, based on activities and not cash or things. Positive consequences:
•So many minutes of work, then a break to shoot hoops for 15 minutes. • Homework done for the night, then time for Facebook, a video, etc. • Homework in on time for a week, choose favorite meal to be prepared for him/her. • Mid-way portion of project is completed, a sleep over. • When improvement by one grade is achieved – pro baseball/ football game outing.
Negative consequences:
• Removal of phone for a day • No e-activities for 3 days • No friends over for the weekend
Caution When you follow through with identifying their temperament, their school/ social/sports balance, planning the approach to schoolwork, and establishing rewards and consequences, they may still “forget” to get in an assignment, study for a test, or complete a project. You can expect your children to resist enforcement of the consequences. In fact, early on this will surely be the case. Unconsciously, they will be testing you. Part of them is so used to the old way of being, that they’ll let things slide, try to go back to old patterns, and they may be disrespectful, or cry that it isn’t fair, blah blah, blah. This is where you will need to stay strong and stay with your convictions. Stay calm, clear, and avoid blaming. Be compassionate, “I know it is hard to take on this responsibility.” “This is a new approach. You’ll plan ahead and remember next time”. “Let’s look at the consequence that you set for yourself.” “Okay, we’ll put he iPhone away through this weekend and start fresh on Monday.” They will tmoan and complain, saying, “It isn’t
fair!”, “You’re mean, uptight.”, or “You don’t understand; I have to call Sean.” They’ll act like the world is coming to an end. They don’t want to say no to their friends. They will, however, be secretly relieved to say, “I can’t go to the party, because my mother/father won’t let me.” You are helping them say “Yes” to being responsible. It is imperative that you follow through, gently but unwaveringly. Translation: No lectures, arguing, shaming, or blaming. Remind them of the Consequences Chart and if they don’t follow through, remove the electronic medium (phone, iPod, TV, computer, even computer if you have to lock it in the trunk of your car for a few days), decline to drive them, type the report, etc. Millions of dollars are spent to make electronics addictive, so don’t expect your children to easily release their grasp on the device. If your child has trouble staying at homework tasks, and instead switches in and out of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube etc., you may have to create a non-internet homework computer set up in one area of the home, require their computer to be outside their bedroom etc. In any case, remove the TV from their bedroom and perhaps their iPod or iPhone during study time. It is extremely hard to be a parent today. Our kids have so many more choices, temptations, and pressures than we had at their age. They need consistent guidance to make responsible decisions. It is really, really hard to watch our children be unhappy. It is even harder to have their flailing and spitting fire at us. But we’re not their best friend; we are their parents, mentors, and coaches. Guiding our child’s growing acceptance of responsibility will lead to clarity of parent-child roles, improved planning skills, your child’s acceptance of responsibility, wise choices, less household tension, and greater self-esteem for everyone. It is so much better for them to see the consequence of their in-action now, rather than in the next grade, next school, next job, or next relationship.
The results will speak for themselves and when they are older (perhaps not until their mid-30’s) dealing with their own children. They will thank you for applying these principles and the guidance it provided for them when working with their own children. And then,
you’ll feel a sense of satisfaction that is worth it all! Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, MA is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in family systems and communication skills. To make an appointment, call 415-492-0720.
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ADD/HD Specialist Tutoring in content areas Organizational skills ADD/HD self-regulation strategies including Brain Gym and Alert Program
Martha Leopardo MA, OTR/L Learning Specialist Occupational Therapist 415 246 6234 leopardlearning@sbcglobal.net
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
9
2009 Families of the Year continued from page 4
The Sicroff Family – Nominated by Maria Baird, Volunteers of Fairfax Anne-Marie Sicroff and her daughters, Olivia and Micaela, volunteer at Fairfax Town Hall whenever possible, giving of their time over the summers and even during school vacations by doing book-
keeping, filing, delivering CD’s on fire safety, filling Easter baskets and doing other holiday projects – among many other things. Anne-Marie is also active on the Drake Fund committee, working to raise funds for school activities that are not covered in Drake High School’s
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10 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
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annual budget. Jonathan is “the rock” of the family, “pitching in to support their efforts wherever he can and picking up the ball at home so our family is free to support the community,” Ann-Marie says. Olivia is very active in Habitat for Humanity and the Teens-Go-Green projects and volunteers at Camp Kinder Kool. Recently, she participated in the Creek clean-up project in Fairfax. When she attended St. Rita’s School, which requires 30 hours of community service, she was so committed that she exceeded those requirements by completing over 170 hours. Michaela, who just started college in Oregon this year, and found herself with some spare time. Unlike some young students who might fill that time with play, she went straight to the local hospital and asked to volunteer. She also volunteered to take notes for dyslexic students and help them with organizing their schoolwork. This amazing family has instilled a principle of community service and helping others among their peers and in the community. They have prioritized the needs of others by helping those less fortunate than themselves and have improved the quality of life for many. The Schinske Family – Nominated by Toni Shroyer, NovatoSpirit Marian Schinske is the founder & Executive Director of NovatoSpirit, a non-profit that offers recreational scholarships to kids, allowing them to participate in sports/activity programs that they might otherwise be unable to attend. She has designed a program that speaks to the benefits of sports and recreation, not only for physical fitness but to foster independence, self-sufficiency, personal protection and development of self-esteem and maturity, with a special focus on reaching out to Spanish-speaking families. Scholarships are awarded for five years and Marian has handpicked a wide variety of programs that kids can participate in, e.g., karate,
dance, soccer, tae kwon do and more. The development of NovatoSpirit has been a family affair: Don does bookkeeping, fundraising, handling of personal donations and lifting and carrying junk to the dump after fundraisers; Robert helps with annual garage sales, donates some of his own money from his allowance, helps mom with mailings and has walked door-to-door to garner donations. Additionally, Marian volunteers on Novato’s Blue Ribbon Committee focused on decreasing bullying, drug/ alcohol use, and violence in schools. This is a truly inspirational family of volunteers. The Challenger Family – Nominated by Emily Mann, Homeward Bound Amy Challenger, with her family’s support, began a program to provide bags of food for families at Homeward Bound’s Family Emergency Center (EFC) so the families could enjoy meals together, despite the stressful circumstances of being in a shelter. Four over a year, the fourteen families participating in Amy’s project, each adopted a family and prepared their bags of goodies to meet the tastes and needs of the family they supported. Those bags of food contained some of the families’ favorites – things that were part of their culture or represented better times when the family gathered in their own homes. The recipients of the bags of food have been so grateful for the extra support and spoke with tears in their eyes about the difference it made to their families. One family told Amy that, because of her efforts and those of the other volunteers, once they were stable and established in their own homes, they were committed to passing along the same kindness and are determined to start their own team of volunteers and bring food to the shelter. This family’s commitment is a great example of how contagious helping others can be.
The 2009 Families of the Year Gala will be held on Friday October 16 at Homeward Bound’s Next Key Center on Hamilton Dr. in Novato from 6:00 to 9:30 p.m. For information, call 415-492-0720.
Autodesk is proud to sponsor APPLE FamilyWorks, because sooner or later we all need somebody to lean on.
Autodesk is a registered trademark of Autodesk, Inc. in the USA and other countries. © 2009 Autodesk, Inc. All rights reserved. www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
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12 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
www.familyworks.org
Strengthening Relationships... For a Lifetime
Therapy and Life Skills Center Assessment and Consultation
Family Therapy and Couples Counseling Concerns, hopes and dreams, as well as practical and effective relationship tools are explored. The result is increased understanding and empathy, more cooperation and more fun in family life through: UÊ > >} }Ê `Ê i >Û À
Groups DownTime
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Learn strategies for coping with financial stress. Reduce anxiety and depression related to economic uncertainty. Strengthen family connections and resiliency.
UÊ i> }ÊÜ Ì Ê Ý iÌÞ] Depression and Addictions UÊ- >À }Ê `Ê,i>À }Ê UÊ* > }Êv ÀÊ* >Þ
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1Ã }ÊÌi «iÀ> i ÌÊ«À w iÃÊ> `Ê developmental assessments, parents and children will learn positive skills and design behavior plans that maximize each child’s potential. Therapists consult with teachers and parents, developing behavioral interventions that work at home, play and school. Therapists are available to make home-visits, school observations and attend IEP meetings. Mental health screenings for anxiety, depression, AD/HD, etc. are available.
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Learn to take the conflict out of family communication with timetested anger management and emotional regulation techniques that will bring harmony to your household.
Visit our website for more program information
www.familyworks.org www.familyworks.org
Individual Therapy 1Ì â }Ê>ÊÛ>À iÌÞÊ of theoretical approaches, FamilyWorks’ therapists help individuals to develop healthy life skills and increase their social-emotional well being. We are skilled in helping with a broad range of relationship and psychological issues, including: UÊ viÊ-Ì>}i Transitions UÊ Ý iÌÞ UÊ LÕÃi UÊ i«ÀiÃÃ
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Therapy with Children With Child-centered “playrooms,” and a wide variety of expressive arts, including FamilyWorks’ specialized sand-tray materials, children “play” in ways that allow them to bring their thoughts and emotions to the surface. As children’s experiences and knowledge are more and more freely communicated through play, the therapist works with those themes as a vehicle for self- acceptance and emotional regulation.
Therapy with Teens FamilyWorks’ skilled therapists work with adolescents to ÃÕ«« ÀÌÊÌ i ÀÊ ÕÀ iÞÊ Ì Ê>`Õ Ì `°Ê1à }ÊÛ>À ÕÃÊv À ÃÊ vÊ expressive arts therapy, interactive play/ exercises and outdoor activities, teens find new ways to resolve problems, build greater self-esteem and enhance their social skills in ways that support their healthy growth and development. ` ÕÃÌ>L iÊ iià FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
13
Support forfor Individuals Support Individuals with Disabilities with Disabilities Who Do We Serve? We serve adults and children with developmental disabilities.
Our Process Our Staff Program Director, Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MFT ensures service excellence with her experience as a public health nurse, life-skills coach, parenting educator and marriage and family therapist. Program Coordinator, Katherine Arnsbarger, brings her education and experience as an educator and anthropologist to provide culturally sensitive and individualized services.
The all-inclusive, wrap-around program is cost-effective and eliminates duplication of services. An assessment and individual service plan will be written by APPLE FamilyWorks for approval by Regional Center case managers.
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Independent Living Skills
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Support Staff Include: Patricia Saunders, MA, MFT, Lew Tremaine, Candace Fraser and Diana Wilkins.
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To enhance each individual’s health and development, including interaction with friends, family, work and community. Services take place in the consumer’s residence, community facilities and other environments in the area served by the Regional Centers: SARC - RCEB – GGRC – NBRC.
Parenting Support Services
UÊÊ* Ã Ì ÛiÊ> `Ê*i>VivÕ Ê ÃV « i
UÊ i> Ì Ê*À Ì and Exercise UÊ ÕÃi ii« }Ê UÊ /À> ë ÀÌ>Ì Ê- à UÊ Õ ÌÞÊ VViÃà UÊ « Þ i ÌÊ,i>` iÃÃÊ UÊ > V > Ê > >}i i Ì and Budgeting UÊÊ iÛi « i ÌÊ v Social Support Systems
UÊÊ > ÞÊ i> Ì Ê*À Ì and Hygiene UÊÊ ÕÀÞÊ*ÀiÛi Ì ]Ê ÕÌÀ Ì ] and Exercise UÊÊ ÕÃi `Ê > >}i i Ì] and Transportation UÊÊ > V > Ê > >}i i Ì and Budgeting UÊÊ iÛi « i ÌÊ vÊ- V > Support Systems UÊ >}iÊÜ Ì Ê"Ì iÀÃÊ-iÀÛ ViÃ
Call Strengthening Relationships... For a Lifetime
www.familyworks.org 14 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
www.familyworks.org
Katherine Arnsbarger
415-492-0720
ext. 226
Check Out the New FamilyWorks Website!
Calendar of Services & Events FamilyWorks Program
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Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10 am-12n - Novato Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm - FamilyWorks
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Klunkerz San Anselmo - 8pm
5
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure San Anselmo - 8pm
6 8
Rear Window San Anselmo - 8pm Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10am-12n - Novato Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm - FamilyWorks
12 Rushmore
San Anselmo - 8 pm
15
Explore a Little
DownTime The DownTime program will teach you skills and strategies for: • Explaining job loss to children • Focusing on family values and time together • Making time to maintain loving relationships • Coping with depression, self-doubt, anxiety and fear Call Candy to sign up for the next group $120 for the 8-week group ($15/session) Sign up as a couple and each person only pays $88 ($11/session)
Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10am-12n - Novato Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm - FamilyWorks
19 CPR Class 9:30 am-1 p.m.
First Aid Class 1:30 - 4 pm
22 Explorando la Maternidad
3
Iron Man Washington Sq. Park, SF 8 pm
6
Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10 am-12n, Novato Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm Child Centered Co-Parenting 7-9 pm
13 Explorando la Maternidad
Juntas - 10am-12n - Novato Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8pm - FamilyWorks
16 Families of the Year Gala
at Homeward Bound’s Next Key Center, Novato 6-9:30 pm
20 Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10am-12n
Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm Child Centered Co-Parenting 7-9 pm
27 Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10am-12n
Juntas - 10 am-12n
Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm
Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm
Child Centered Co-Parenting 7-9 pm
Child Centered Co-Parenting 7-9 pm
29 Explorando la Maternidad Juntas - 10 am-12n
Exploring Motherhood 6:30-8 pm Child Centered Co-Parenting 7-9 pm
415-492-0720
www.familyworks.org www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
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By Jeff Civillico
If you’re tired of your kids sitting around and playing video games all day and wish there was a way to get them to be more active and involved in a less sedentary pursuit, you may want to introduce them to juggling. The fact is that today’s youth are inundated with countless sedentary hobbies. The days of playing tag outside or riding bikes for hours seem to be fading away. No wonder the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention cite that 16% of children (over 9 million) 6-19 years old are overweight or obese – a number that has tripled since 1980. Learning to juggle has many benefits for children. It enables them to engage their mind and body into a fun activity, it’s something “cool” that they can do to impress their friends, and when kids learn to juggle with their parents, it gives them a new way to connect and interact with each other. By all accounts, juggling is a powerful hobby for today’s children. It provides the perfect disguise for teaching many useful life lessons in a way that is lively, engaging, and different. Here are a few of the essential life lessons both kids and adults can glean from juggling. A Desire to be Active
You can’t juggle sitting down, so juggling naturally gets kids up on their feet doing something that is physical. While they’re not jumping around or breaking a sweat while juggling, they will be constantly bending over to pick up what they dropped and running to chase balls – especially in the beginning when they’re learning the basics. All that bending and walking is a low-impact type of exercise that will burn calories and help tone muscles. Additionally, since no one learns how to juggle in five minutes, this type of activity will continue for a while. And once your kids master the basics of juggling, they’ll want to challenge themselves with new things to juggle, which will start the learning (and continual bending over) process all over again.
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Laser Sharp Focus
In today’s ADD culture, kids need to develop focus. Juggling is one way to do that. Just as the game of pool is all about geometry, juggling is an activity of algorithms. There are formulas for how you create patterns, timing for how long things are in the air, etc. It’s much more logical and analytical than most people realize – but you don’t have to tell your kids any of that. All they’ll know is that once they learn how to juggle, they won’t want to stop. They’ll feel the power that comes from completing a difficult task. In the process, they’ll be developing what’s called relaxed concentration, which is about being focused but not tense or jittery. Such mental conditioning is what builds handeye coordination and visual-spatial coordination. So just tell your kids that learning to juggle will make them better video game players and they’ll be hooked for life.
Goal-Setting Basics
Learning how to juggle is a systematic, step-by-step process that is broken down and accomplished one goal at a time. You can’t just pick up three balls, throw them in the air, and expect to juggle. There are certain things you must do in a precise order before you can start juggling. Even veteran jugglers who are attempting a new trick break it down and learn step by step. For example, you may have seen a juggler balance a ladder on his chin while juggling. That person got to that point by first learning how to balance a peacock feather on his chin, and then a juggling pin, and then a broom, etc. Everything in juggling is a step-bystep process. Your kids will learn that in order to reach a certain level of expertise, they have to progress one goal at a time.
A Commitment to Teamwork
Learning to juggle goes better if you work with a partner or a group of people. When you’re in the midst of an activity, you’re often too close to it and can’t see how you’re really doing. You can’t see if you’re holding one hand too high or are not balancing your weight on your legs properly. However, outsiders (or your teammates) are able to see where you need to improve and can point it out. When kids get a teamwork experience where they are learning from each other they become much more receptive to other team activities, whether it be sports or a study group. They learn to trust other people’s perspectives and take their comments into consideration.
skepticism no matter what age they are. But when kids learn how to juggle, they see that they can accomplish something that is seemingly impossible. They achieve something that they thought was out of their reach, and that opens their mind to all the other things they can potentially accomplish. When they attempt something else that is difficult or new, they can think back to their juggling experience and realize that they can do anything they put their mind to. That’s a powerful self-confidence booster to kids of any age. Share the Fun
If you’re ready to introduce juggling to your kids, you can find many books and training videos on line that give a good overview of the basics. Check out a few that seem interesting and give them a try. Encourage your kids to keep practicing and soon they’ll be able to keep three balls in the air with ease. Very quickly they’ll learn that juggling is so much more than just a cute parlor trick. It’s a life-enriching hobby that builds both inner and outer skills. But don’t stop with just the kids. Parents and other adults can gain the same benefits from juggling. So start learning together. You’ll be building not only vital life skills, but also a lifelong bond with your kids that any parent would envy. Jeff Civillico’s highly engaging program, “Comedy in Action,� blends comedy, juggling and audience participation both as a featured entertainer and a Master of Ceremonies at corporate events. An honors graduate of Georgetown University, he explores themes of communication, goal setting and teamwork during his workshops. Working with companies of all sizes, Jeff’s clients include Disney, Wachovia, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Verizon, and The American Heart Association. To hire Jeff, please visit www.jeffonstage.com.
A Healthy Dose of Self-Confidence
No one ever thinks they’ll be able to learn how to juggle. They approach it with
te a r b e l Ce ayy da hd iirrtth
B urr B ou Y Yo at at the the YMCA! YMCA!
7E CAN CREATE A "IRTHDAY PARTY FOR YOU !CTIVITIES CAN INCLUDE SWIMMING DODGEBALL *UMP (OUSE AND MORE For more info contact Chris McCune at cmccune@ymcasf.org or 415-446-2178.
-ARIN 9-#! s ,OS 'AMOS $RIVE 3AN 2AFAEL #! s s WWW YMCASF ORG MARIN www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
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2009
School Directory The German Language School of Marin We provide students with affordable, yet highly qualified instruction about the language, customs, history and culture of German speaking countries. Classes are given on Saturdays from 9:30 am - 12:00 noon and are open to anyone interested in learning German.Visit www. germanschoolmarin.com
Lycée Français La Pérouse The Lycée Français is the only total immersion French school in the Bay Area. The college preparatory school welcomes children from pre-K to 12th grade on three campuses, where students follow the authentic French National Education program. The school is ideal for engaged, active learners who are not afraid of academic challenges. Visit www.lelycee.org
Marin Country Day School Marin Country Day School is a warm, inclusive, diverse community guided by core values of respect, responsibility and compassion. Children develop into excellent learners and good people through a broad-based, highly participatory curriculum. The vibrant spirit of all involved engage to make MCDS a good place for children. Primary points of entry are at kindergarten and grade 6. Visit www.mcds.org Marin Waldorf School Pre-K through 8th grade. Our curriculum provides a rigorous academic education including foreign languages, arts, music, movement, and community festivals. Our program fosters critical thinking, emotional and social intelligence, and physical activity. Marin County’s only accredited Waldorf School. Open House November 14th 10am – noon. (415) 4798190 x 102.Visit www.marinwaldorf.org San Domenico School Parents: Have you ever felt forced to choose between a competitive school and a supportive one? At San Domenico School we don’t see a necessary distinction between high-achieving students and happy, well-balanced children. Find out more by touring our beautiful San Anselmo campus. Call 415-298-1905 or go to www.sandomenico.org/visit St. Isabella School St. Isabella School is dedicated to achieving the spiritual, intellectual, physical, psychological, and social growth of our students. Our program fosters academic excellence in a supportive, community-focused environment. We’ve been Educating Tomorrow’s Leaders in Kindergarten – 8th grade for over 40 years. School tours begin early October. Call Jessica at 479-3727. Annual Open House is Sunday, January 31 10AM–1PM. www. stisabellaschool.org
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Marin Waldorf School 755 Idylberry Road San Rafael Why do parents choose Marin Waldorf School for their children (Pre-K-8th grade)? Since 1972 Marin Waldorf School has provided for local families a rigorous academic curriculum, a staff of dedicated teachers and a spacious, safe campus in the Marinwood area of San Rafael. We strive to stimulate students’ love of learning, channeling their idealism while strengthening their sense of social responsibility. In addition, the school has created a strong community of parents who are working in partnership with the faculty. At MWS, parents play a critical role in their children’s education. All share a common set of values even though their life experiences and professions are quite varied. As such, the social life of our school is warm and very active. What are the values that bind our strong community together at both home and school? The belief that education is a partnership, that home and school work together to provide a solid foundation, building from elementary school through high school and on to college. These values include a belief in healthy food as the fuel for learning, and the knowledge that it is better to read to your child or have them read a book rather than watching TV. We stress the understanding that computers are tools best used after students learn to read, write, spell, edit and express themselves. Our parents want a small school where their children are seen as individuals receiving individual attention when necessary. We carefully assess our students with Portfolio Assessment -- real essay writing and note taking, rather than standardized tests which reduce teaching to facts and encourage work-sheets and rote learning rather than deep understanding of the academic topics presented. We are also a “Green School” and have been from our founding in 1972. As such, we try to use natural and organic products whenever possible, keeping in mind a goal of sustainability and making our school the healthiest environment possible for our students. The MWS curriculum is rigorous, as students are expected to learn math, science, language arts, geography, history and two foreign lancontinued on page 23 www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
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“You’re SO Dramatic!” Just this afternoon, as I was dashing through Safeway pondering how to start this article, I heard a woman make this statement to her son, who was doing his utmost to convince her of all the reasons he had to have a certain kind of cereal. I should have given her my card, and I hope she reads this article and sends her ‘dramatic’ son my way, because I have a positive, productive, educational and FUN way to channel all that dramatic energy! I have the privilege of leading the Education Department and Young Repertory Company at Cinnabar Theater in Petaluma. From its beginnings, Cinnabar, a transformed one-room schoolhouse founded by Marvin and Jan Klebe, has been dedicated to education. It was through their leadership that the Young Rep was founded in 1983, providing classes, choirs, workshops and Young Rep productions all taught, directed and designed by Cinnabar’s dynamic team of professional theater artists. “Cinnabar Theater gives young actors wonderful theater exposure but, it [also] gives them confidence, a sense of expres-
Cinnabar Theater Classes Camps Shows Choruses for All Ages
sive elasticity, and an opportunity to enjoy the camaraderie of creative souls,“ says Ken, whose son is a long-time member of the Young Rep. But we’re not solely for the ‘so dramatic’ students – we’ve also seen some of the shyest, most awkward students blossom in the accepting, encouraging environments of our classes and rehearsals. Michele’s daughter is a member of the Young Rep: “(My daughter) has always been an outgoing child but never quite knew where she fit in…but when she walks in the doors of the theater she feels like she is with people who understand and love her for who she is.” But the benefits of studying drama reach far beyond Cinnabar’s studio-classroom. Our programs
707.763.8920 • www.cinnabartheater.org • kate@cinnabartheater.org 20 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
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provide a safe environment for students in which they can develop life-skills: verbal, problem-solving, communication, memory and concentration skills, social and physical awareness, self discipline and confidence and, of course, imagination! Or, if you’re still not convinced, in a 1997 study of students who took the SATs – those with four years of drama instruction scored between 60 and 108 points higher than average, while those with no drama instruction scored, on average, lower than the mean. So… with all the benefits that drama-education provide, what does Cinnabar’s Young Rep have to offer you? Teens and youth may audition for our Young Rep mainstage productions which include: The Winter Rose (a NEW fantasy-musical written by me, Marlies Primmer and Janis Wilson), The Crucible (Arthur Miller’s portrayal of the Salem Witch Trials), The Gondoliers (a comedic opera by Gilbert and Sullivan) and Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. We’ve also got some special projects in the works as well as classes and workshops to hone your skills! Children and Youth (ages 3-13) may participate in: Miniature Mondays (a variety of classes for ages 3-6), Theater Tuesdays (acting classes for ages 7-14) or Warbling Wednesdays (musical theater classes for ages 7-13). We’ve even got a Fall Drama Camp in October for those who attend year-round school. Homeschooled families may enjoy the classes being developed just for you --interdisciplinary curriculums incorporating history, literature, music and art, as well as drama. (I’m a Pathways vendor, too!) Adults, never fear, we have programs for you, too! Whether you sing regularly or merely remember the joy of singing ‘way back when,’ come join one of Cinnabar’s Choral Ensembles. But if you are not a singer, perhaps the new Cinnabook Club or a stand-up comedy workshop would be more to your liking! So, to see the benefits of a drama-education for your child (or yourself!), check out Cinnabar where our safe, ‘homey’ location and outstanding staff lead students to new levels of self-awareness and produce powerhouse student performances … and we have a whole lot of fun in the process. “I know that wherever I end up and whatever I end up doing in life, Cinnabar will always be there as a staple in my childhood memories and a place that will always welcome me back with open arms,” says Aimee, high school junior and Young Rep member. To find out more about any of our Young Rep programs, to enroll, or to inquire about our need-based scholarships (or any of the MANY other things going on, including in-
timate professional operas, dramas, musicals and comedy), check out our (NEW) website at www.cinnabartheater. org. See you at Cinnabar Theater – where GREAT things come in small packages. Kate Magill is Director of Education at Cinnabar Theater in Petaluma, CA.
Cynthia Lucas CynthiaLucas
Artistic Director Artistic rect Dior
Mentoring the Joy and Commitment of Dance
www.familyworks.org
Offering a classical ballet syllabus supported by a range of other dance idioms for students ages 3 to 18.
Now accepting new students.
Visit www.marinballet.org for enrollment information or call 415.453.6705. 100 Elm Street, San Rafael, CA - Serving Marin County for over 45 years
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
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Fairfax Celebrates Family Health With a wildly popular family-oriented event this August 15th and an excitingnew family-friendly health and wellness festival planned for September 26th, Fairfax is more and more a county-wide destination for family health. Over 3,000 gathered August 15th in Fairfax for a day of wholesome, organic, local foods as well as physical activity in celebration of Good Earth Natural Foods 40th Anniversary. Children of all ages experienced the (safe) thrill of climbing, the athletic mayhem of the jumpee house and bopping to Tim Cain and Rhythm Village’s African music. They also sampled raw ice cream, organic melons and organic air-chilled chicken among many other offerings. Good Earth is well-known as a cutting-edge leader in organic and green practices, provider of wholesome, organic school lunches to thousands of Marin school children. They also offer a wide selection of herbs, supplements and homeopathy used by many parents. They recently expanded their hours and are now open 9am to 9pm daily. More information about Good Earth is available at http://www. genatural.com Coming on Saturday, September 26th from 12-7 is a new family health and wellness oriented event from the Fairfax Chamber of Commerce. Fairfax Body and Soul, a festival celebrating the whole person, family, and community will include a wide range of activities of interest to families. There will be panels on parenting, H1N1, and children’s health, a jumpee, facepainting and additional activities for children. Outdoor classes for all ages will include tai chi, kung fu and dance and indoors there will be Persian, ayurvedic and vegetarian culinary demonstrations. The Body and Soul Marketplace will offer the opportunity to meet top holistic practitioners. Health and wellness businesses will showcase their offerings in a relaxed environment. Free health screenings will also be available. Healthful food and 22 FamilyWorks Magazine - September & October, 2009
beverages will be available for sale and there will be an organic wine bar. The event will feature some great music. including fingerstyle guitarist Walter Strauss who has been called a “one man folk festival” by the UK’s Maverick Magazine. The audience will also enjoy the soaring vocal harmonies, and multi-instrumentalism of Three At Last who recently performed at the Kate Wolf Festival and the spontaneous hilarity of singer-songwriter Scott Kalechstein who has performed at the events of Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield and Dr. Bernie Siegel among many others. The day will culminate with a performance from the Fairfax All-Stars band which will include members of Tom Finch Group and Big Brother and the Holding Company among other talent. The event takes place at Peri Park & the Fairfax Women’s Club at 46 Park Street (off Bolinas Ave.) in Fairfax. Tickets are $5 and free for children under 12. The event supports local businesses by
encouraging people to do business with a Fairfax Chamber of Commerce member <http://fairfaxcoc.com > in order to get a free ticket (while supplies last). Details are available at http://www. wordoutconsulting.com and a full schedule of events will be available as the event draws nearer. The idea of a health-focused family friendly event was originally brought to the Fairfax Chamber by homeopathic M.D. Dr. Michelle Perro of Down to Earth Pediatrics. Recognizing the opportunity to highlight Fairfax’s role as a hub for health and wellness businesses and holistic practitioners, the Chamber of Commerce decided to move forward with the idea. They hired Word Out Consulting’s Hannah Doress, a Fairfax mother known for family-friendly festivals at the San Geronimo Valley Community Center, to develop and produce the new event.
1769 B Grant Ave. - Novato www.novatopilates.com 415-898-3499
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915 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., San Anselmo (across from Red Hill Shopping Center)
453-1666 www.familyworks.org
Marin Waldorf School
Continued from page 19
guages. They also play a musical instrument, play sports, make practical items in woodwork and handwork, and sing in the choir. In addition, children work in the school’s two gardens and perform community service, participate in a yearly class play and numerous educational field trips. In short, the elementary school years (the foundation of a child’s education) cultivate critical thinking skills, emotional and social intelligence and practical skills. Our parents come to Marin Waldorf because they are seeking a truly wellrounded education. They want their children to be smart, to get along well socially and to be able to accomplish a variety of tasks in preparation for meeting life’s challenges. Our parent body participates fully in their children’s education with regular class nights to discuss their children’s progress, regular communication, accessible and responsive teachers, and comprehensive written progress reports. MWS has dedicated teachers who love teaching children and take part in extensive off-site continuing education each year. Each teacher has also taken an additional three years of teacher training at one of the five nationally recognized Waldorf curriculum teacher-training colleges in the US. We have a superb eleven-acre campus, which holds two preschools and two kindergartens with their own dedicated playground, garden and indoor practical activities space; eight grades classrooms, a library, woodshop, orchestra room, multi-purpose room, organic teaching garden, two playgrounds and large ball field. In addition, our campus abuts 1,000 open
space acres that we utilize regularly. If you would like to visit Marin Waldorf School then please visit our website,
marinwaldorf.org, or call Nick Broad, Director of Admissions for a tour: (415) 479-8190 ext. 102.
Leopard Learning
Successful Academics for Students with Learning Disabilities Tutoring in content areas Homework support Strategies for overcoming academic obstacles Specializing in reading and writing for all levels
Martha Leopardo MA, OTR/L Learning Specialist Credentialed Teacher 415 246 6234 leopardlearning@sbcglobal.net www.familyworks.org
FamilyWorks Magazine -September & October, 2009
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