That Vegan Disabled Gal Erin Fernandes My journey started when I was 13, as an attempt to watch my weight. My grandmother had been swept up in the 90s diet craze and started doing Richard Simmons’ Deal-a-Meal. My mother put me on the program, so my grandmother and I started exercising to the tapes each weekend, and I started making healthier choices. After my grandpa passed, I spent weekends at my grandmother’s house to keep her company. We would exercise to the Richard Simmons tapes together, and after our workouts, I would go for runs. I replaced even simple foods like butter with jelly, to cut down on fat consumption. I began losing weight. Truthfully, I went way too far with it. I had always perceived myself as overweight, and that perception held even when I became slim. In trying to appear healthy, I took on deeply unhealthy practices, beginning with skipping meals, and eventually developing into bulimia. I binged, eating large meals all at once, and purged, throwing it all up to avoid gaining weight. This went on for years, starting in high school and continuing well into my adult life. What disgusts me now isn’t the amount of food I ate when I binged, but the kind of food I was eating; McDonalds, Burger King, pizzas, and other animal products. I wonder how many animals I consumed during that time, without even blinking an eye. Of course, I knew it was all junk food that I would never eat under normal circumstances, but I never considered myself to be eating any of it, because I knew I was always going to throw it up.
On February 1st, 2010, my world changed; I had a simultaneous stroke and heart attack. I was in a coma for two weeks, unable to move, see, or speak. I felt like Neo waking up in The Matrix, connected to all kinds of tubes and wires. The first meal on the menu was meatloaf, which I would’ve never eaten without purging; I called myself a vegetarian, if only so I could have a built-in excuse to avoid certain foods. However, I knew that I could be dying, so I happily accepted whatever they were going to serve to me. I couldn’t feed myself, and I wouldn’t be able to, for another year. It would be another year after that before I was finally discharged from the hospital, having gained some of my vision and mobility back to the point I could walk freely. In 2015, however, I suffered a second stroke. It totally destroyed any progress I’d made. With my risk for another stroke increasing, and the consequences of another one being even more dire than the first two, I watched some food documentaries with my boyfriend, out of concern for my own health. What I saw was absolutely shocking. I always knew animal products came from somewhere, but I never let myself make the connection between what I was eating and the cruelty of factory farming. It was cognitive dissonance at its finest. We both decided what we saw was cruel and that we never wanted to support it again. Overnight, we both went vegan.
NM Vegan | 09
