REUNION
by Maciej Kowalewski, 2020
I dreamt About a train I went far away from here I wait all day long for the night To melt in the ocean of my own memories and desires About escaping as far as possible And not coming back Awake no more
I have been in terrible pain I felt the bitter vomit of my own feelings Own thoughts It was an extraordinary experience I cannot remember the last time
Though memory is unreliable I am sure it will happen again
Yesterday I finally met with Helen. After two weeks of quarantine. (07.04.2020)
Fortunately, I get on well with other members of my family. Especially, with my younger brother – Mateusz. During quarantine we have became closer to each other. We spend a lot of time together. We play FIFA, practice new skills on trampoline, watch movies. I show him some stuff related to photography and art. It is quite an important time for our relationship as brothers. (30.03.2020)
While waiting for the bus at Victoria Coach Station, I met Arek - homeless polish guy who lives in London. He is going back to Słupsk – his hometown in Poland. He’s 30 years old and used to work in UK as a land surveyor. He’s gay and is going back Poland to tell his family about his new partner from Hungary with a hope that they will accept him. (21.03.2020)
Wrócił Ten stan kiedy czuję ją całym sobą Patrząc na nią żarzę się jak węgiel Płomienie rozgrzewają mnie od środka
Hurtowa produkcja endorfin zmniejsza nieustanny bรณl Niech tak zostanie
I HAVE BEEN
BETRAYED
I feel A ruthless anxiety My chest is being crushed Something has changed I miss the decisions which I thought were wrong Through bypassing them I felt free Now, when I have that freedom back I feel, that I don’t have it at all
We will never get along.
I am suffocating This is the moment When the heart accelerates The breath is shallow You want to cry The panic attacks you You don’t know what to do Fortunately, I have my earphones Rich playlist on Spotify That should be enough For now‌
I love my mum
The disgust Caused by one of my returns is calling me to to go back to my cave, which is not safe either I feel ill at ease, uncomfortable I am not safe here I have to go back I have stayed Why?
I was looking With my eyes closed Into the beauty of nature But despite the tighten eyelids I saw everything
I know That I am not free I have never been I will never be And neither will you