Ashburton Guardian YOU Magazine, Saturday, August 14, 2021

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you

Saturday, August 14, 2021

AND YOUR LIFESTYLE

Meet


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YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE | Saturday, August 14, 2021

Bursting out of the shadows Guardian cartoonist and writer Mieke Moreu spent the first 48 years of her life in a man’s body. She felt trapped, she felt scared to come out and she lived a lie. Now she’s living her truth and loving every moment of it. Lisa Fenwick catches up with her on the phone from Wellington.

I

Life is a journey and Mieke Moreu’s been on a long one in so many ways.

ntelligent, articulate and gently spoken, Mieke Moreu spent most of her life living in the shadows. Hiding in the background, afraid and ashamed to come out. And that’s not surprising when you consider that she grew up in an artistic family that moved around a lot of southern Bible belt states in the US where words like transgender were dirty and not remotely acceptable. “So, when I was growing up, transgender just wasn’t a thing. There were ‘no’ people who wanted to be a different sex. There were basically gay people and straight people. “And if you were gay, you were going to hell and you’d probably get Aids. And that was it. We had the fear of God instilled in us … literally. So when I reached adolescence and started to develop as a male, I was mortified, but at the same time, what choice did I have?” For young Mieke (pronounced Mika, a Dutch/German name) that attitude shaped how she moved forward in life. The multi-talented woman knew she was different from a young age. She knew she didn’t fit in and she spent a big part of her life hiding the fact that she was a female born into a male’s body, that her identity was much different than the sex she was assigned at birth. “I was quite young when I realised I was different – around six, seven or eight – and I wanted to be female. I didn’t feel comfortable being a boy.

PHOTO SUPPLIED

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Saturday, August 14, 2021 | YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE

“But I didn’t know I was transgender. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t have any concept of it, I didn’t have any role models.” It was probably around her late teens that Mieke realised she was transgender but she was terrified about that label because it was “such a dirty word’’ to many. So Mieke’s response was to work hard at being an alpha male and take all that dissatisfaction, the unhappiness and channel it. “So I channelled it into athletics, like Bruce Jenner, y’know, and I became a runner and a cyclist and became really competitive.” Mieke qualified for the US Olympic trials as a marathon runner and, after moving to New Zealand in 1997, she even won silver at the New Zealand championships one year. “It was literally me running away from my problems. All this kind of angst and shame and fear surrounding my gender identity, and my sexuality and stuff.” She took all those feelings that could be destructive and “turned it into art, and writing and cartoons, and basically pretended that this whole transgender thing didn’t exist”. Mieke, buried and silenced, became a top athlete, a writer, an illustrator, a cartoonist – someone that society could smile upon. She was pretty staunch too as a bloke. You know the type, the male ‘big boys don’t cry’ attitude. “I was white, masculine … had a full beard for 25 years and was a super-athlete – looked the part, dressed the part, acted the part, but never felt the part.” She married twice and had three children, so she worked hard at being a good family man. “And I was a good parent,” Mieke said. “But the problem for me, and I think this is a problem for a lot of transgender women that come out later in life, is that by burying things, hiding them away … it never goes away. It’s always there.” It created an awful tension to live with, this thing, like you’re hiding a secret. This affected Mieke’s relationships because she was “never completely authentic”. Her partners picked up on the unease, the tension within, which in turn caused unhappiness and made her partners insecure and more problems would follow. That contributed to Mieke’s marriages ending. The watershed moment for Mieke was five or six years ago. She had had success with a couple of young adult novels that have been turned into audio books, under J.M. Moreu, and illustrating some picture books. But it was when she started writing novels and short stories under her female pseudonym, and even got nominated for an award, that Meike began the journey to step out from the shadows.

Mieke Moreu, so happy to be happy in her own skin.

“People were really responding to my writing in a female guise online. “It was kind of this moment where I thought, ‘well shit, what am I going to do about this? Like, I now have a choice’. I can live the rest of my life in fear, always hiding things away, not comfortable in my own body’.” And that was the time that Mieke knew she had to come out. “I couldn’t imagine living the rest of my life being secretly miserable.” Mieke did a lot of thinking, a lot of talking with people in the transgender community, but she hadn’t yet told the people closest to her – his partner, children and family. It’s a massive thing to do. What changed for her? Part of Mieke’s journey out of the shadows involved finding her birth father. “About six years ago, I discovered that the man I thought was my father, was not, in fact, my father. “I grew up in the shadow of this alpha male, who I felt always judged me and wanted me to be like him. I always strived to be like him and never felt like I lived up to that.

PHOTO SUPPLIED

“When I discovered I was not related to this individual, it liberated me.” Mieke went on a quest to find her biological father. “I found him and we developed this amazing relationship.” Sadly, Mieke’s birth father passed away about three months ago, but “for about three years we talked every day by video chat”. And just as Mieke was about to come out to those dearest to her, Covid-19 and the subsequent lock-down kicked in. She had a lot of time to think and as soon as lock-down ended, she sat down with her partner one night. “I told her I was transgender and in the next two to five years I intend to transition to being female and living as female.” That’s a fair bit for any partner take in, but while the relationship didn’t work out, she was supportive. The man who raised Mieke, after a few silent weeks, said: “I have no idea how to deal with this. I don’t know any transgender people, I don’t care about transgender issues. This completely baffles me and I can’t understand why you would feel like this and why you would want to live as another gender.”

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He told Mieke he would never call her anything other than her birth name and that she would always be his son. “But I still love you and I’d still like to be in your life.” Mieke, with a giggle, said “well we can work with that I guess”. But when she was telling her birth father, she was in tears. “I was so afraid that he would reject me. “About a minute into my spiel, he stopped me and he said: ‘hold on, hold on, hold on’. He said: “I just want you to know that I don’t care. I love you for who you are and I’m very proud of you and really happy for you. Let’s share this journey together.” So then began the business end of physically becoming a woman. To remain in a man’s body was just no longer an option. But with transitioning in New Zealand there’s a process, she said. The first thing you have to do is have a psychological evaluation, which took a couple of months, before you can start the first step of hormone replacement therapy (HRT). “I was 50 years old when I initiated all this, like physically with operations and stuff and HRT. “After I got my assessment I paid for an endocrinologist (they specialise in hormones, hormonal glands and related tissues) and he started me on HRT. It’s been a year since she started the hormones and in February, about six months into Mieke’s transition, she decided to have gender confirming surgery. So “now my transition is pretty simple. I take an estrogen pill”. Yes, there were hard parts, soul-crushing parts, parts that disappeared and parts of the journey that filled Mieke with joy. “It was like one of the happiest days of my life. “I went in feeling kinda weird and dysphoric and came out elated. “Now I look in the mirror every day and feel nothing but joy. And now I like the clothes I wear and make myself up and do my hair and I just feel thrilled.” Just like any other woman, there are bad hair days. But no longer does she inhabit the body of a stranger. No longer does she hide who she is. She’s out baby, and she’s staying out. “I will never de-transition.” There is lots more she wants to achieve physically, in the near future she will be having gender reassignment surgery, but in the meantime she gets to live her life in the light, out of the shadows – physically and visually be the woman she always was. “I can finally be free and honest.” Mieke’s just happy that she can look forward to the rest of her life with nothing to fear. She is, quite simply, a liberated woman.


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YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE | Saturday, August 14, 2021

OUT&ABOUT

Above – Supporters at the Watters Cup final between Celtic and Southern. 310721-HM-41 Below (from left) – Toni Durham, Neil Brown and Bruce Mascull. 050821-MG-022 Above (from left) – Deb Taggart, Fances Beeston, and Paul Adams. 050821-MG-020 Left (from left) – Carolyne Camp, Laura Mascull and Rilla McLean. 050821-MG-018 Below – Naupara Strickland.

Above – Caitlin Reid, Megan Roberts, Jadah Wilson, Maddi Wilson and Ruby Bowman. 280721-MG-001 Above – Watching the Celtic reserves rugby team play against Methven reserves are Dan Dwyer (left) and Jason Feutz . 310721-HM-54

Right (from left) – Brian Davidson, Shirin Khosraviani, Janice McKay, Koryu Aoshima, Liz McMillan, John Magyaya and Tiipene Philip. 240721-AB-3224

322 East Street, Ashburton, sales@modeboutiqueash.com Ph: 03 3071951 www.modeboutiqueash.co.nz

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Saturday, August 14, 2021 | YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE

GIRL ABOUT TOWN with Lili Haydon

W

Spring fashion

hen forced home from Australia after Covid-19 first hit, Ashburton-grown Madi Davis realised there was a gap in the quality second-hand clothing market here. With her primary years spent in Ashburton, she went to St Andrew’s College as a boarder for her secondary education. After graduating, she shifted to Queenstown to complete a Diploma in Hospitality. She decided to hop the ditch to put her diploma to good use and worked on Hamilton Island in the Whitsundays. Then Covid-19 hit, so she got on the last plane back to New Zealand before the borders were closed in March 2020. “I packed two years of my life into 23kg of luggage.” Davis moved to Christchurch in Level 3 and worked at the Christchurch café Belle in New Regent St precinct, where she started shopping and selling her clothes at Recycle Boutique. Recycle Boutique is a retail chain that sells second-hand, high-quality fashion and gives customers an option to sell their clothing, shoes, and accessories on

Madi’s top tips

Top tips for buying pre-loved clothing: – Double-check for tears. – Try everything on. – Don’t let sized labels put you off. All clothing brands have different measurements for sizes.

Madi Davis recognised a clothing gap in the market and quickly filled it with Centipede. PHOTO LILI HAYDON

consignment. “My friend and I said to each other there is nothing like this in Ashburton.” Fast forward to now, her shop Centipede has been open since January. “The community support has been amazing and I had heaps of help from family and friends as well.”

Davis is excited about spring; she is already accepting spring and summer stock. “Lighter knits will be an essential this spring, women are already coming in and buying sheer pants and colourful dresses, and men always seem to buy their entire wardrobes in summer. “The colours starting to coming

through for next season are oranges, yellows, and pinks.” Davis is going to put be putting her winter stock on sale at the end of the month, and hopes that’s also when she will start seeing the trees blossom across the road from Centipede. That’s when you know spring is here.

Lyrics by

TIM RICE

IN ASSOCIATION

Music by

IN PARTNERSHIP WITH

ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER TM© 1996 The Really Useful Group Limited BY ARRANGEMENT WITH ORiGNTM THEATRICAL ON BEHALF ON THE REALLY USEFUL GROUP LIMITED

ON STAGE 30 AUG - 5 SEP 2021 Director - ROGER FARR Musical Director - JO CASTELOW Choreographer - JULIA BELL TICKETS AVAILABLE BOOK AT:

www.ateventcentre.co.nz Ph 03 307 2010

Lyrics by

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Music by


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Cancer survivor P

aul Hands is a cancer survivor. He’s had prostate cancer and is now in remission from colon and liver cancer. “I’ve passed my use-by date twice and I’m taking part in Relay For Life to support the Cancer Society,” he says. Paul isn’t just walking the survivor and caregiver opening lap of the Domain Oval but, if his fitness allows, he wants to walk the circuit for 12 hours. “If I can manage it, I’ll walk from 10am to 10pm with the occasional rest stop,” he says. Cancer Society Mid Canterbury’s Relay For Life will be held at the Ashburton Domain Oval on Saturday, October 16, and Paul is one of several thousand who’ll take part to fundraise for people with

Paul Hands will attempt to walk the domain track over 12 hours at Relay For Life.

Above – Four-year-old Ruby Hands will be in granddad’s tent as his No.1 supporter. At a week old, Ruby was diagnosed with cancer of the spine and underwent successful surgery at Starship Children’s Hospital, Auckland, at eight weeks of age.

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r will walk for 12 hours any type of cancer. Paul has had the disease twice and now has incurable colon and liver cancer. It’s been part of his family life for the past four years. He was first diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2018 and received radiation five days a week for eight weeks. Paul travelled daily from Ashburton to Christchurch and back again. “It wasn’t a nice experience. I felt buggered afterwards, but I’m cured and grateful,” he said. However, two years later he was diagnosed with a tumour on his colon and lesions throughout his liver. He was offered chemotherapy and told he had four to six weeks to live if it wasn’t effective. “I was given a 60/40 chance of survival but, even if the chemo was successful, it would only pro-

Amanda Patrick Fusion Gallery

long my life for another nine months,” he commented. “Now I’ve passed my second use-by date and I’m feeling good. I exercise well and receive CT scans every three months.” Paul was told his liver resembled Swiss cheese but, after treatment both at Christchurch and Ashburton hospitals, the tumour has shrunk and the lesions have reduced in size and number. At the beginning of treatment, he admits he’d lost his humour button, but it’s returned, blacker and better than ever. “Right at the moment I’m feeling good, although I always look inside myself to see how I feel,” he comments. Even if cancer does return Paul has been given a cocktail of drugs to combat the disease. In two months’ time he’ll

walk to show how he’s coping and to support Relay For Life and the Cancer Society. “It’s great to have an organisation you can go to for help,” he said. Paul is grateful he “fell into the right hands of the right people at the right time”, but emphasises cancer is too big to fight all by yourself. You need family and friends to support you. He calls his supporters his village, and they’re there to physically, emotionally and financially support him. They’ll be with him when he attempts to walk the domain track for 12 hours. But even if he doesn’t, he wants to be there for the last lap “if I’m still standing”. Paul, 64, a retired electrician, has someone special in his team of supporters. It’s Ruby, his grand-daugh-

ter. She was diagnosed with cancer around and through her spine when a week old. A group of surgeons at Starship Hospital in Auckland successfully removed the cancer after eight weeks. Now, at four years of age, she’s in remission, but has spinal damage and needs a walker to move. “Ruby will be in my tent and is one of my supporters on October 16,” Paul promises. If people want to support Paul, his website is midcanterbury.relayforlife.org.nz/ sidesaviours.

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T

A positive start to Relay

he response so far to Relay For Life has been really great, said Mid Canterbury manager, Annie Bonifant. Two months out from the October 16 relay, the Cancer Society has received $7546 from 57 teams comprising 223 participants. But there’s a long way to go and Annie hopes the 2018 total of $136,000 will be surpassed. Relay For Life is held every three years in Ashburton and money raised from the event is spent locally in the Canterbury/Westland region. Many people raise funding in teams through raffles, bake sales, car washes, quiz and movie nights, garage sales, fashion shows, cheese rolls and lamington sales and a host of other fundraising activities. Teams attending Relay For Life are given a site, encouraged to walk the track and, have at least one member complete the circuit at any one time. However she points out Relay For Life isn’t a race, nor do people collect pledges based on the number of laps they walk. Annie said that individuals can take

part also. They can make their donations to the Cancer Society in Kermode Street or drop in funding to the Cancer Society tent at the relay. Annie anticipates thousands of people will attend to support the relay, purchase the food and enjoy the entertainment from the stage. Throughout the day singers, dancers, gymnasts, kapa haka performers and cultural groups will give their time to perform on stage. “We’re delighted to be back in Ashburton for Relay For Life 2021. “We have an incredible community and we can’t wait to bring this event to life,” Annie said. She said the Cancer Society doesn’t receive government money so relies on initiatives such as Relay For life to support people with any type of cancer as well as their carers, fund vital research, operate both Daffodil House and Daffodil Lodge, continue their free volunteer driving and shuttle service and provide information on how to reduce the risk of cancer through smokefree, SunSmart and healthy lifestyle messages.

Right – Annie Bonifant is delighted Paul Hands, a cancer survivor, has offered support, and is also pleased with the community’s response so far and hopes the 2018 amount raised will be surpassed in 2021.

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For Life

Cancer Society’s strategic plan T

he Cancer Society aims to reduce the incidence and impact of cancer in Aotearoa New Zealand Its goal is to be a respected voice on cancer prevention, care and survivorship. Objectives: – Represent the experience of people with cancer, their whanau, and the wider community to decision-makers to improve cancer out-

comes across the continuum for all New Zealanders – Develop a robust, nationwide information base that presents evidence from research findings and sector trends in a way that is accessible and usable for a variety of stakeholders – Use health intelligence to inform targeted health promotion and health literacy issues.

Information from cancer.org.nz

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YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE | Saturday, August 14, 2021

Try Chinese, with a Japanese twist FROM JAPAN with Miya Komatsu

Many people who know that I’m Japanese ask if I cook a lot of Japanese food, like sushi, at home. And, actually, I don’t. I cook a lot of Chinese food (with a Japanese twist) more often than Japanese. Chinese is very popular in Japanese home cooking. We may not make it in the traditional Chinese way and I certainly like to put my own twist on the recipes. This month, I would like to share some of my favourite Chinese recipes including steamed buns. Many of you may not have a bamboo steamer, but I just steam mine in a big saute pan. I hope you try it and enjoy! Miya Komatsu is a Japanese-trained chef and nutritionist who has made Ashburton her home

We have a full range of breads available – white and brown sandwich loaves, mixed grain and multiseed, ciabatta, brioche and sourdough, bread twists and focaccia, and gluten free bread. Everything from a small cake slice to a huge slab to feed a large party! We have a range of cake slices, cream buns and donuts, whole mud cakes and many more sweet treats. Pies are our specialty! So many flavours to choose from. Buy from the pie warmer or in bulk packs to take home. We have savoury packs in the freezer, and family pies for an easy meal, so convenient and so popular!

Call us: 03 308 5774 Address: 123 Main South Road (Archibald Street), Tinwald Email: simsbakery@xtra.co.nz

Braised pork slices 4 servings

1kg pork slices (boneless), cut in half

2t grated ginger 1 spring onion, cut in half (or you can you can use half a sliced onion)

Sauce 3C water 1C cooking sake or white wine 5T soy sauce 5T brown sugar

– In a large frypan, heat 1T oil on medium heat and seal both sides of the pork slice. Transfer into a large pot.

– Add all the sauce ingredients and bring to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Cook uncovered for 2 hours. – When the sauce reduces and gets thicker and the pork has glazed, it’s ready to serve. – Enjoy with sides of vegetables!


Saturday, August 14, 2021 | YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE

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Annin tofu (almond jelly) 4 servings

2C milk 2T sugar 1t almond essence 1 1/2 t gelatin powder 1/4 C water Goji berry, for garnish

– Put the water in a measuring cup, sprinkle the gelatin over the water and rest for 10 minutes until fully dissolved. – Put milk, sugar and almond essence in a small saucepan on low heat until all sugar is dissolved. Make sure not to boil. – Add the dissolved gelatine and stir well. Remove from heat and pour into 4 cups. Set in a chiller for about 2 hours. – Garnish with goji berry and serve.

Makes 10 buns Dough 2C high grade flour 2C plain flour 4T sugar 4t baking powder 2 pinches salt 4T milk 3/4 C water Filling 5 strips bacon, sliced 1 onion, chopped 1/2 capsicum, chopped 1/2 C tomato pasta sauce Salt and pepper, to taste

Pizza mantou (steam bun) – Make the filling: Heat oil in a medium frypan, saute the bacon, onion and capsicum for 5 minutes, then add the pasta sauce. Bring to a boil and add salt and pepper to taste. Remove from heat and set aside to cool down. – Make the dough: Mix all the dough ingredients in a large bowl and knead the dough for about 5 min until nice and smooth. Cover and rest for 15 minutes. – Divide the dough into 10 even pieces and roll each into a ball between your palms. – Dust with a little flour on the kitchen

bench, slightly flatten each ball with your palm. Using a rolling pin, flatten dough into about a 10cm circle, make sure the centre is slightly thicker than the edges. – Put the divided filling into the centre of the dough, and bring the edges of dough to the top with your index finger and thumb to seal. While your other hand’s thumb needs to push filling inside. Stretch and pinch all around the edge. Repeat with remaining dough and filling. – In a large saute pan, lined with baking paper, place buns about 2cm apart.

If it doesn’t fit all buns, separate into batches. – Slowly pour 1/2 C of boiling water under the baking paper and cover with lid and medium heat for 15 min or until buns are fluffy. Continue steaming batches until all are cooked.

Miya’s hint If you don’t want to eat all the buns straight away, wrap the leftovers in plastic wrap and slightly cool down before freezing. Reheat in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes or until warm inside. Good for after-school snacks.


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YOU AND YOUR LIFESTYLE | Saturday, August 14, 2021

It’s all about

timing

D

Spring’s nearly here ...

ust off the gumboots! August is the last official month of winter and believe it or not, it’s time to start planning your summer garden.

Liz Gosling is this month’s winner with the following question: I just purchased a house in Rakaia and am moving in soon. My question is when is it best to plant veges ready for summer and what flowers can I plant that will last all year? The exact time to plant a summer vegetable garden is dependent on the weather in a particular location and time of year. In your location, leave planting out the summer vegetable garden until mid-to-late October. It’s worth noting that typical summer vegetables like beetroot, lettuce and radishes can be grown all-year-round. Always delay planting those vegetables that can be adversely affected by late frosts, eg tomatoes, courgettes, cucumber etc. A few weeks before planting, prepare your soil by adding in compost and combine it well with existing soil. Also add a

In raised beds where soil isn’t too wet, you can begin sowing layer of mulch around your seeds of beetroot, carrots, onions, new plants as this keeps a proradish and spinach. In glass houstective layer over the soil. es or on sunny, warm porches, Mulching aids water retentowards the end of August you tion by hindering water evapcan sow seeds of summer veges oration, keeping the moisture in the soil during the summer for early planting in October. This months. can include beans, courgettes, Flowering annuals cucumbers, lettuce, peppers and that bloom all year include tomatoes. alyssum, calendulas, lobelia, Strawberry care pansies and violas. New specimens planted in Make sure you plant them early winter will now be growing into well-prepared soil (as vigorously. Occasionally flowers above) and again add a layer of will appear at this time of year but mulch after planting. remove them as they will not form You may find it helpful to sweet fruit. Placing pea straw or read our free How to Grow fine bark mulch around plants reSummer Vegetables Guide and our How to Grow Garden duces the impact of any heavy rain Colour Guide at www.daltons. downpours and aids in keeping co.nz/how-to-guides. the plants healthy and free of any

FREE

K

Vege garden

disease like botrytis (grey mould).

Fruit trees

In warmer areas, August is a significant month for harvesting citrus fruit such as; lemons, limes, mandarins (clementine), oranges and grapefruit. Give pip and stone fruit trees a final spray of copper compound. This will help reduce possible outbreaks of fungal disease in spring. Feijoas can also be pruned which involves thinning out dense growth and reducing the height of plants to make management much easier.

Rose care The final month for planting “winter supplied” rose bushes/ climbers. Apply fresh compost around existing roses and as with fruit trees, a ‘clean up’ spray of copper compound is beneficial for the health of the plants.

Beautiful bulbs Bulbs are to be enjoyed in August and September! Flowers

Daltons Strawberry Planting and Care prize pack

eep planting out strawberries through till early spring for a bumper summer crop and use Garden Time Strawberry Mix™ to give them the best start. Did you know you need at least twenty plants for the average family of four? Daltons Strawberry Planting and Care Pack has everything you need to

grow delicious strawberries. Valued at over $75, it contains 2 x Daltons Garden Time Strawberry Mix, 1 x Daltons Garden Time Strawberry Fertiliser, 1 x Daltons Organic Bio-Fungicide Powder and a pair of comfortable Red Back gardening gloves from Omni Products www. omniproducts.co.nz.

All questions supplied are entered into the draw to win a Daltons prize pack, but the Guardian reserves the right to choose which questions and answers will be published. Daltons post the prize to our lucky winner.

burst from the soil, bringing beautiful colour and scents. Daffodils, jonquil, hyacinths, muscari and lachenalia all flower in August. Take note which bulbs thrive in your garden as you may want to plant more of them next year!

Ornamental trees and shrubs Azaleas, camellias, daphne, rhododendrons, flowering cherries and magnolias are all in full bloom this month. Garden centres are well stocked now with these plants and many more. Be guided by the species that thrive in your particular region. Try to extend flowering times by carefully selecting individual plants – for instance, it is possible to have camellias flowering in your garden from late-March/early April through to October. Ask at your local garden centre for flowering times when purchasing new plants. For more gardening advice or information on the wide range of Daltons products visit www.daltons.co.nz

Be in to win Email goodies@theguardian. co.nz with Daltons

Strawberry Planting and Care prize pack in the

subject heading, or write to Strawberry pack giveaway, Box 77, Ashburton.

CONDITIONS OF ENTRY:

• You must provide a gardening question for the Daltons experts to answer. • Please include your address and phone number in email and letter options! • Giveaway entries must be received by August 31. For more information on Daltons products visit www.daltons.co.nz


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