maternity & infant by Ashville Media Group

maternity & infant

APRIL/MAY 2015 €3.75/£3.30 APRIL/MAY 2015 ISSUE 50

40-PLUS MUMS

IS OLDER WISER? WE’VE GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY COVERED!

TRIED & TESTED

CHO OSING THE RIGHT TRAVEL SYSTEM

AFTER BIRTH

MATERNITY MUST-HAVES SLEEPY TIME

M O VI N G F RO M COT TO BED

KIDS VS CAREER

CAN YOU REALLY ‘HAVE IT ALL’? GENDER PLAY

A VO I DI N G T H E PINK AND BLUE

www.maternityandinfant.ie

9 772009 193014

HO W TO S URVIVE THE FIRS T WEEK

PLUS ANNABEL KARMEL * NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHY * EXPERT ADVICE MI April_May 2015_Cove.indd 1

24/03/2015 09:56

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approx. 4 years

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4 years

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07/01/2015 16:08 23/03/2015 08/01/2015 13:58 10:23

1 APRIL / MAY 2015

Contents

On the Cover 24

TOYS & GENDER Our Burning Issue this time is the subject of gender and toys. Why are toys so pink and blue? Is there any way around it? And what is it teaching our kids?

YOUR NEWBORN’S FIRST WEEK

Style

Forget labour and birth, the real work begins when you take your precious bundle

home! Here’s your guide to

From translating the hot

the first week with your new

Seventies trend to your

baby. 48

maternity wardrobe to

THE PRACTICAL GUIDE TO TRAVEL SYSTEMS In the first of a new series of practical guides to some

positives and negatives of

of the biggest purchases

being an older first-time

you’ll make as prospective

mum.

parents, we look at travel

MATERNITY

KIDS V CAREER

systems and pick some of

Can you really have both

our favourites.

babies and a career? Or

FORTY-PLUS AND PREGNANT

must one suffer? We talk

More women are waiting

to one mum who makes it

until their late thirties and

work, and our readers give

early forties to start their

their top tips on juggling

families, but is this really a

motherhood with a busy

wise idea? We look at the

job.

stealing Kate Middleton’s

Win!

pregnancy style, we have your maternity fashion covered.

A FAMILY BREAK AT THE

THE HERITAGE GOLF & SPA RESORT, KILLENARD!

BABY & CHILD Get your babies and children ready for summer

PAGE 87

with the best of the new collections. Plus, the hottest summer shoes this season for your little ones. 70

CLEAN SKIN Too tired to clean your face at night? Bold girl. The right product will turn it into a 30-second job though, and

maternity & infant

you’ll thank us in the end. APRIL/MAY 2015 €3.75/£3.30

APRIL/MAY 2015 ISSUE 50

40 PLUS MUMS

Promise.

IS OLDER WISER? WE’VE GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY COVERED!

TRIED & TESTED

C H O O SI N G T H E RIGHT TRAVEL SY ST E M

AFTER BIRTH

H O W T O SU R V I V E T H E F I R ST W E E K

www.maternityandinfant.ie

MI Apil_May 2015_Contents.indd 1

favour of some new trouser shapes this season. Look

GENDER PLAY

AVOI DI NG T H E P I NK AND BLUE

23/03/2015 13:42

YOU Time to dump your jeans in

SLEEPY TIME

M OVI NG FROM COT T O BE D

KIDS VS CAREER

CAN YOU REALLY ‘HAVE IT ALL’?

PLUS ANNABEL KARMEL * NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHY * EXPERT ADVICE MI April_May 2015_Cove.indd 1

MATERNITY MUST-HAVES

for flattering high waists and cropped styles for the ultimate in summer style.

23/03/2015 13:51

2 APRIL / MAY 2015

Contents 65

00 Opinion 28

MUMMY MY WAY One reader tells us her experience as a mum.

DAD’S DIARY Nick Wilkinson has found the perfect way to get his kids to help with chores – by copying them and being grumpy and unhelpful...

THE BREAST ADVICE Cliodna Gilroy on continuing breastfeeding

Experts

when you return to work. 88

BLOG WE LOG

ASK THE FERTILITY EXPERT

What made us laugh or cry

ASK THE OBSTETRICIAN

in blogland this month.

ASK THE DIETITIAN

ASK THE PHYSIO

ASK THE SLEEPING EXPERT

ASK THE PHARMACIST

ASK THE GP

Features 52

Remember: quick

What do you do when you

thinking can literally save

baby can’t – or won’t – sleep? Consult the experts, of course! But after enduring

lives. 58

new parents is arranging

sleep deprivation, Lydia

a photoshoot for your

Monin has realised that the

newborn baby. But when

only expert she really needs

is the best time, and how

is her own instinct...

move your baby out of the cot and into a bed? And how do you convince them to stay in it all night?! 57

do you find a suitable

FROM COT TO BED When is the right time to

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT… MENINGITIS It’s World Meningitis Day on 24th April – time to brush up on your knowledge of the signs and symptoms

MI Apil_May 2015_Contents.indd 2

NEWBORN PHOTOGRAPHY

M&I ONLINE

WHAT’S ON Our brand-new guide to

A growing trend among

three-and-a-half years of

Regulars

of this scary disease.

SLEEPING & THE EXPERTS

photographer? 61

the essential dates for your diary this April/May. 11

All the latest news, reviews and products. 65

sugar for your kids? And is it possible to raise a child without a sweet tooth? We chat to the experts and suggest some practical ways to help that sweet tooth

ANNABEL KARMEL Recipes to get your kiddies

CHILDREN AND SUGAR How bad really is refined

ESSENTIALS

into the kitchen. 76

STORE DIRECTORY

WIN A FAMILY BREAK IN THE HERITAGE GOLF & SPA RESORT IN KILLENARD, CO LAOIS! This fabulous prize is the perfect 5-star treat for all the family!

without risking your health.

23/03/2015 13:51

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23/03/2015 20/03/2015 13:59 11:11

4 EDITOR’S LETTER

Welcome

THE TEAM Editor: Penny Gray Editorial Assistant: Rachel Murray Intern: Louise Donnery Editorial Manager: Mary Connaughton Creative Director: Jane Matthews Design: Jennifer Reid

As I type this, I have one eye on the phone beside me, half expecting the crèche to ring about my little girl Ellie, who seemed a little off-form this morning. Although she definitely wasn’t sick, she was tired and wanted to stay at home with me, but like many mums, I had to make the decision to put her into childcare as I had to work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I’m extremely lucky to have great flexibility in my career, but it is hard in so many different ways to juggle working and parenting. In our Mums and Work section, each issue we try to highlight the many ways mums make their lives works, and this issue we ask the question, can you really “have it all”? On a lighter note, there’s nothing more exciting than preparing for a new baby. This issue we launch a new series of features on the big purchases you may be thinking

of making – and first on our list is the Travel System. Essential purchase or overpriced hype? Find out on p48. And if you’re contemplating labour and birth for the first time, it might be a good idea to think about what happens next – we de-mystify a newborn’s first week on p44. Plus, for those of you with older children we look at when is the best time to move them out of the cot, and how to deal with a toddler’s sweet tooth (it ain’t easy, we’ve been there!) All this, plus the latest spring fashion for you, bump and baby! Enjoy and don’t forget to get in touch via Facebook and Twitter.

Photography & Illustrations: Getty Images, Thinkstock Production Manager: Mary Connaughton Sales Director: Paul Clemenson Email editorialdesk@ashville.com or write to maternity & infant, Ashville Media, Old Stone Building, Blackhall Green, Dublin 7; Tel: (01) 432 2200; Web: www.maternityandinfant.ie All rights reserved. Every care has been taken to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is accurate. The publishers cannot, however, accept responsibility for errors or omissions. Reproduction by any means in whole or in part without the permission of the publisher is prohibited. © Ashville Media Group 2014. All discounts, promotions and competitions contained in this magazine are run independently of maternity & infant. The promoter/advertiser is responsible for honouring the prize. ISSN 2009 1931

Penny Gray Editor

Find us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter

MY PICKS THIS ISSUE 36

RETRO RED RUNNERS

PREGNANCY & BABY FAIR

WALKING ON SUNSHINE

There was much rejoicing in the M&I office when we heard that Mothercare Ireland would be stocking the Little Bird by Jools Oliver range. These retro red trainers, €19, are on my wish list for my little boy this summer.

Yes, we’re going to be there, and yes, we have lots of stuff to give away. Stop by the maternity & infant stand to sign up as a product tester, hear about our Awards, enter our draw for some great prizes and generally just say hello!

Add a bit of summer into your life with this gorgeous yellow bag from none other than Penneys. A snip at only €10 and big enough to house all your baby and toddler essentials.

MI April_May 2015_Eds Letter.indd 4

23/03/2015 14:04

The product most recommended by pharmacists for scars and stretch marks. Retail pharmacist study, 2013

UK’s No.1 selling scar & stretch mark product.

“The one thing my pregnant friends and I discussed at length was stretch marks once you’ve got them, they’re there for good! I used Bio-Oil throughout, morning, noon and night... in fact, I haven’t stopped using it since Liam’s birth. Now that I’m pregnant with twins, I’m going to be using it more than ever! What’s also nice is that it’s not oily. You’ve no idea how many friends and family I’ve told about Bio-Oil!”

IRI, 2014

Tracy with Liam

Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the first trimester. For comprehensive product information, and details of clinical trials, please visit bio-oil.com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of €10.99 (60ml). Individual results will vary. Distributed in the UK and the Republic of Ireland by Godrej Consumer Products (UK) Ltd.

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12/03/2015 14:06 16:00 23/03/2015

6 ONLINE

maternityandinfant.ie THIS WEEKEND

Go to maternityandinfant.ie/lifestyle/out-about/this-weekend for a weekly update on family events nationwide. Now the cold weather is finally behind us (hopefully), there is an abundance of events to choose from, including markets, child-friendly festivals and locally organised family days.

CONNECT

WRITE MATERNITY & INFANT, OLD STONE BUILDING, BLACKHALL GREEN, DUBLIN 7. EMAIL EDITORIALDESK@ASHVILLE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/MATERNITYANDINFANT TWITTER.COM/MATERNITYINANT

R eci p es Check out our weekly recipes for everything from fuss-free dinners and healthy toddler meals to delicious (and kinda healthy!) desserts. Our banana bread recipe was a big hit with our Facebook followers: maternityandinfant.ie/recipe-bananabread.

TODDLER & CHILD

Although our toddlers can drive us up the wall at times, they also make us laugh incessantly. We’ve been posting lots of hilarious predicaments parents have found themselves in recently thanks to their toddlers. Give yourself a giggle and look up maternityandinfant.ie/ photographic-proof-destructionchildren. Follow instagram.com/ kidsaretheworst for more hilarious updates.

WHAT’S TRENDING? #SMELFIE

COMPETITIONS

“C-OUCH! This one hurts. At least there will be less rashes when you sit now. #soFUUUUUH photo thanks to @ shelleybeeoriginals #kidsaretheworst”

MI April_May 2015_Web Page.indd 6

Don’t miss our weekly competitions on www. maternityandinfant.ie/ competitions - recently we gave away the ultimate indulgence package at the Villa Spa, Killashee House Hotel, for Mother’s Day. Even better, sign up to our weekly ezine on the maternityandinfant.ie homepage to be the first to hear about our fantastic giveaways.

Comedian Adam Hills has started a #Smelfie trend of dads snapping a selfie whilst changing their kids smelly nappies.

YOUR PREGNANCY maternityandinfant.ie/ pregnancy-and-birth is packed with helpful pregnancy tips and all the latest trending issues concerning mums-to-be and their bump. There is also detailed information on what to expect during each trimester of your pregnancy and your baby’s development.

Wife gave baby a green smoothie. It came out looking exactly the same. #smelfie #realmenchangenappies @adamhillscomedy If you smell hard enough near their belly button you can tell the diaper status #smelfie - @MorelandPrint Less of a nappy, more of a complete outfit change. So much from someone so small #smelfie @ThetrueUrlrik

23/03/2015 14:08

Over s 85 storede i nationw

h t l a e H d Chil Checklist

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12/03/2015 24/03/2015 14:31 12:44

Another little helping hand for mums • 69% of pregnant women and new mums experience light bladder weakness* • Absorb faster than ordinary liners • Lock in moisture and control odour with FeelFresh Technology™

™ ! ts n e m o m s op for those Ooo

*Source: lights by TENA Myriad Survey 2014

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24/03/2015 23/03/2015 10:41 12:10

9 WHAT’S ON

Family Event Guide Have a family day to remember with our guide to the best events around the country this April and May

EASTER FUN EASTER HUNT

Belvedere will be hosting its annual Easter Treasure Hunts on Easter Sunday & Easter Monday from 12 noon to 2pm on both days. This year you will have to follow and solve the clues to complete the Easter Treasure Hunt, collecting prizes along the way from some colourful characters including the Easter Bunny. Belvedere House Gardens and Park, Mullingar, Westmeath Children: €4 (under threes go free); Adults: €8 EASTER CAMPS Go to maternityandinfant. ie/lifestyle/out-about/school-holidays for a list of Easter camps around the country arts & crafts, junior chef cookery school, drama & dance and archaeology, to name but a few. There’s something there to keep your little one entertained over the Easter break. THE FAIRYHOUSE EASTER FESTIVAL Don’t miss all the racing action at Fairyhouse racecourse from 5th-7th April. Easter Tuesday will be a Family Day, with everything from the popular Little Hoofs show, a free funfair and face-painting to shopping and great food.

DON’T MISS!

POWERSCOURT ESTATE, ENNISKERRY, WICKLOW There are lots of special events over April and May in Powerscourt, Co Wicklow. Join Imaginosity Dublin Children’s Museum in an interactive storytelling performance of The Easter Bunny on Monday 6th April, or get children active in the garden with a hands-on introduction to planting seeds and fresh produce at Powerscourt’s Sow and Grow event on 19th April. Finally, be part of Powerscourt’s nature detectives on Sunday 24th May. For more information go to www. powerscourt.com/events

CONNACHT SPRING SHOW All roads from within the province and further afield will point to Ballinrobe Racecourse on Sunday 17th May for the Annual Connacht Spring Show. This year’s show will be a Family Fun Day and will include lots of novelty events,

ts and life in a flourish of fresh fruit, craf 10am-4pm, Marlay Park springs to from day Sun ndance and abu an rday find Satu y enjoy crafts you will MARLAY PARK FOOD MARKET Ever s from around the world, and if you food of n ctio sele ul derf won a is scrumptious ethnic foods. There and more. ade jewellery, paintings, clothes of handmade goods from hand-m

DISNEY ON ICE, CITYWEST, DUBLIN Disney On Ice presents Magical Ice Festival featuring Disney’s favourite Frozen characters, Anna and Elsa, for five days only during the Easter school holidays, Wednesday 8th to Sunday 12th April. Tickets are priced from €19.50 (including booking fee) and under twos go free.

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MID-TERM MADNESS

SMA PREGNANCY & BABY FAIR – DUBLIN & CORK Returning to the RDS, Simmonscourt, 11th-12th April and Cork City Hall, 18th-19th April, the SMA Know-How Pregnancy and Baby Fair is a day out for the whole family. With live demonstrations, daily fashion shows, expert advice, entertainment, competitions and much more. Tickets are just €8 from www.ticketmaster.ie and kids go free – don’t forget to pop by the maternity & infant stand to say hello!

DON’T MISS!

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M&I

ESSENTIALS: 9 THINGS

THINGS I NEVER KNEW BEFORE I BECAME A MUM THE SACRIFICES MY OWN MUM MADE FOR ME Having your own child puts sharply into perspective just how much your own mum did for you when you were a child. And makes you appreciate her all the more for everything. THE ART OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Your baby has totally taken over your life and driven you to the point of insanity but you would kill for this little being. Literally.

HOW PRIVILEGED YOU ARE Motherhood is not something to be taken for granted, even in Ireland. Feel lucky for having your baby and having the resources to help him grow to adulthood. WHAT AN IMPORTANT ROLE POO WOULD PLAY IN YOUR LIFE See p14. You know you’ll be pinning this on the fridge.

YOU NEED YOUR OWN TIME Oh, how casually you treated time to yourself before you had children. Now time is a precious commodity – but remember you need time to yourself to remember who you are as a person, not just as a mum. HOW QUICKLY TIME PASSES It mightn’t feel like it when you’re in the throes of night feeds, but blink and they’ll be heading off to college. So stop and enjoy the moment.

HOW LITTLE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW “Why is it raining?” “Why is the sky blue?” One word: Google. And wait until they start spouting Irish at you… HOW CYNICAL THE WORLD IS… …And how advertisers are constantly marketing at your children. See p24 for our discussion on gendered toys.

THAT YOU’RE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK… …And you’re actually now all grown-up. Sometimes!

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Giuliana Rancic

23/03/2015 14:49

12 ESSENTIALS: PREGNANCY & NEW MUM

DO I REALLY NEED A MATERNITY BRA? Short answer: yes, you do! Mothercare offers us some great advice on when to invest in a maternity bra and what to look out for

Do I need a nursing bra?

Many women report that they “knew” they were pregnant because their breasts felt heavy and more sensitive than usual – an exaggerated form of how they feel before their period. At around six weeks’ pregnant, you might notice them becoming bigger, and this will continues throughout your pregnancy as your breasts prepare to produce milk to feed your baby. So the upshot is that your bra might be feeling a little tight and uncomfortable. While this can differ from woman to woman, if you are feeling in need of more support or your bra is no longer comfortable, it’s a good idea to visit a maternity lingerie department to be measured. We asked Mothercare, which stocks all sorts of maternity lingerie for pregnancy and new mums and has trained staff in each store to help you make the right choice, for some advice on maternity bras.

When do I need my first maternity bra?

As soon as your current bras start to feel uncomfortable and your breasts become more sensitive, it’s time to move into a maternity bra. Breasts are supported by ligaments rather than muscle, making them susceptible to hormonal changes, so it’s a good idea to get measured as soon as you know you’re pregnant.

If you are planning on breastfeeding, start thinking about a nursing bra at around 36-38 weeks’ pregnant. These have drop-down clips to make feeding your baby easier. If you visit your local Mothercare the trained bra fitters will be able to offer advice on the best bra to suit you and estimate your cup size in preparation for when your milk comes in.

Do I need a sleep bra?

How often should I be measured?

Why wire-free maternity and nursing bras?

Many healthcare professionals will recommend that you avoid wearing wired bras during pregnancy. With all these rapid changes happening to your body, non-wired maternity bras won’t dig into the sensitive breast tissue. A fully supportive non-wired bra will also help your breasts to retain their shape after your pregnancy and far beyond.

As soon as you become uncomfortable in the bra you are currently wearing during pregnancy, and especially if you find your breasts are fluctuating in size, get yourself measured. As a rough estimate, get measured once every trimester. Fluctuating in size is due to hormonal changes that your body is constantly undergoing and is completely normal. Breasts may increase by up to 2lb during pregnancy, so it is important to get regularly checked to ensure you remain fully supported throughout.

Night time can be particularly uncomfortable for many women, and you may find a soft sleep bra will help support your increasing bust size as you sleep. In addition, most women find that once they have their baby they need to wear a bra or sleep bra in bed to hold the breast pads in place (breast pads capture breast milk that leaks as you sleep). Remember that looking after your breasts now will have a positive long-term effect in the future. For more advice, log on to www.mothercare.ie

EMBARRASSING PROBLEM = SOLVED

One of the more unwelcome body changes post-pregnancy is a weak pelvic floor, which is more common than you might think, thanks to the great strain that pregnancy and birth puts on your pelvic floor. While time and Kegel exercises do help, sometimes you want to help nature along a bit – and this is where NUK’s new Pelvic Floor Trainer, €24.99, comes in. The discreet trainer contains a light ball that reverberates with every movement in order to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. The product was tested by 59 midwives and 27 mothers in Germany in 2013, and the overall reaction was very positive, with 88 per cent of midwives convinced that the NUK Pelvic Floor Trainer strengthens the pelvic floor muscle if used consequently.

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23/03/2015 14:52

What is whooping cough? Whooping cough (also known as pertussis) is a highly contagious illness. The disease is most serious in babies under 6 months of age who are too young to be fully vaccinated.

Whooping Cough Vaccine for Pregnant Women What are the symptoms of whooping cough?

How often should pregnant women get the vaccine?

What can I expect following vaccination?

Whooping cough causes long bouts of coughing and choking making it hard to breathe. Not all children get the ‘whoop’ and often older children and adults just have a cough. The disease can last up to three months. Infection with whooping cough does not give long lasting protection so reinfections can happen.

The antibodies you develop after vaccination decline over time so you need to get the vaccine again in your next pregnancy. You should get whooping cough vaccine during every pregnancy so these antibodies are passed to each of your babies in the womb.

You may get soreness or redness around the injection site or a mild generalised reaction of fever and fatigue for up to 48 hours afterwards.

How does whooping cough spread?

What vaccine should pregnant women get?

Whooping cough is spread from person to person by coughing, sneezing or close contact. Someone with whooping cough can spread the disease for up to three weeks after the start of the cough.

You should get a Tdap vaccine. This protects against tetanus, diphtheria and whooping cough.

How can whooping cough be prevented?

The best time to get the whooping cough vaccine is between 27-36 weeks of your pregnancy. Giving the vaccine at this time will give your baby the best protection.

Vaccination can prevent whooping cough. This is offered to all children • as part of the 6 in 1 vaccine at 2, 4 and 6 months of age • at 4-5 years of age (4 in 1 vaccine) • in 1st year of second level school (Tdap vaccine) All children should get these vaccines on time to protect them and babies too young to be vaccinated.

How does the whooping cough vaccine protect you and your baby? The vaccine stimulates your immune system to produce antibodies. These antibodies pass to your baby in the womb and protect them during the first few months of life. The antibodies decline rapidly in the first six months of life so it is important your baby gets the routine childhood vaccines (which include whooping cough vaccine) on time at 2, 4 and 6 months.

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When should I get the whooping cough vaccine?

Is there anyone who cannot get the vaccine? The vaccine should not be given to • those with a history of a severe allergic (anaphylaxis) reaction to a previous dose of whooping cough vaccine or any part of the vaccine. It is not recommended: • if there is a history of a severe local reaction to a previous dose. You should not get a tetanus or diphtheria containing vaccine more often than every 10 years if you have a severe local reaction.

When should vaccination be postponed?

What if I don’t feel well after vaccination? If you have a temperature after the vaccine, take paracetamol, as it is safe in pregnancy, and it’s important for you and your baby to avoid fever. Do not take ibuprofen or aspirin (unless advised by your obstetrician). Remember if you are unwell after getting a vaccine, it could be for some other reasons – don’t assume it’s the vaccine and seek medical advice if needed.

Is it safe for pregnant women to be vaccinated? Yes. The vaccine is safe for pregnant women. This whooping cough vaccine has been studied in pregnant women in the US and no risk has been found. Reactions are generally mild and serious side effects are very rare.

How do I get vaccinated? Contact your GP or maternity hospital to arrange for vaccination. The vaccine is free but you will be charged for the administration (even if you have a medical or doctor only card). You should also talk to your doctor about getting the flu vaccine. For more information please see www.immunisation.ie

Vaccination should be rescheduled if you have an acute illness with a temperature greater than 38°C.

23/03/2015 18/03/2015 14:41 12:17

14 ESSENTIALS: HEALTH

THE SCOOP ON BABY POOP

60 MINUTES OF PAIN

One of the most surprising things about having a baby is the amount of time and energy you spend on worrying and discussing their pooing habits. But what’s normal and what’s not? What is normal for your baby will depend on many different things, and every baby is different. Factors including their age, if they are breastfed, if they are formula fed or whether or not they have started solids will all affect the size, colour, shape and consistency of their poo, so follow this quick guide to know if what is coming out of them reflects what you’re putting into them.

300

CALORIES Aqua Aerobics

Newborn babies For the first few days after baby arrives, they will pass something called meconium. Meconium is a mixture of mucus and amniotic fluid, along with everything your baby has ingested while in the womb. It will have a greenyblack colour and a sticky texture. Meconium may be difficult to wipe off your baby’s bottom, but its appearance is a good sign as it means that your baby’s bowels are working normally. TOP TIP: As meconium can be difficult to clean off, applying Vaseline to a baby’s clean bottom will mean an easier clean up after a poo.

Breastfed babies If you are breastfeeding, your colostrum, or “first milk”, will act as a laxative for your baby, which helps to push the meconium through their system. After about three days, when your milk arrives, you will notice a change in their poo. Your baby’s poo will now become lighter in colour, changing from a greenish brown to a bright or mustard yellow. The texture of their poos will also be a lot looser than the meconium.

Formula-fed babies Formula-fed babies might experience more constipation than breastfed babies, and their poo may differ. Their poo will be bulkier in texture (a bit like the texture of toothpaste). This

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450 CALORIES Swimming

is because the formula milk is not digested as fully as breast milk. The colour of their poo will vary from a pale yellow to a yellowish-brown colour, and be stronger smelling that breastfed babies’ poo.

Changing from breastmilk to formula Any change to your baby’s diet will alter their poo. Their poo may become darker, more paste-like and have a stronger smell. When making the change from breastmilk to formula, try and make the change slowly and gradually, ideally over several weeks. This slow change will give the baby’s digestive system time to adapt and will hopefully prevent constipation. Note: When your baby has adapted to the bottle, they may develop a completely different pooing routine than before.

Weaning Starting solids will dramatically change your baby’s poo as foods are going to influence the colour and texture of their poo. For

example, if you feed them puréed carrot, then the contents of their next nappy will be bright orange. Fibrerich foods, such as raisins or beans, may pass through your baby’s system without being digested and will end up in their nappy. This will change as they get older and are better equipped to digest fibre. As their diets vary, their poos will become thicker, darker and a lot smellier.

550 CALORIES Jogging

When to worry The colour of your baby’s poo can tell you a lot about his general health. Breastfed babies generally pass paler-coloured poo, usually the colour of mustard, while hummus brown and darker is normal for formula-fed and weaned babies. However, consult your doctor if you notice a difference in the colour of your baby’s poo, especially if it is very pale (chalky white – this could indicate jaundice), ruby red (this could indicate a bacterial infection or a milk allergy) or green (this could be the result of a stomach bug or reaction to medication). If you suspect constipation or diarrhea, a trip to the GP or nurse, especially in younger babies, is also recommended.

600 CALORIES Zumba

600

CALORIES Cycling (medium intensity)

23/03/2015 14:53

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2/04/13 11:17 AM 23/03/2015 17:10 23/03/2015 12:25

16 ESSENTIALS: KIDS

HOW DO I GET MY KIDS INTERESTED IN READING? As Dr Seuss said “You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild to pick up a book and read to a child,” so we put it to our readers for their top tips for getting your little one interested in the worlds between the pages of books.

CULT CLASSICS We asked the parents of the toughest critics to recommend their top children’s books, and these are just a few they recommended. Don’t forget, turn to p22 for the latest books on the market! Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae The Snail and the Whale by Julia Donaldson Adam’s Adventures series by Benji Bennett Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson That’s Not My Tractor by Fiona Watt Jumblebum by Chae Strathie

* *

“Start reading to them at an early age and make sure the books are colourful with lots of pictures to get the child interested. I love the peeka-boo books or books with different textures for babies as young as four months. There’s nothing more that I enjoy than reading to my nieces and nephews and I always make sure they get a book for every birthday and Christmas. I love reading myself and want them to enjoy and really get their imagination from reading.” Nora Ryan “Reading as part of wind-down throughout the day, even very short times with a toddler, builds up their patience for books. Two minutes with them turning pages before you get a chance to read it at 18 months turns into 20 mins of a book before bed and begging for ‘just one more story please’ at four!” Stephanie Love “I’ve always read with my girls every night. I try and get my youngest to tell me what she thinks is going to happen from the pictures before we have read it. Getting them involved is half the battle! Once they feel like it involves them they will start to love it.” Nikki Card “From the time I found out I was pregnant I said I want my baby to love books. I don’t want him attached to video games. Reading helps a child grow, it helps with their imagination, it helps with their perception and how they perceive characters versus how another person perceives them. It helps them be artistic and also helps them be strong and independent, it helps their speech and listening and vocabulary and teaches them

MI April_May 2015_News.indd 16

* * * * *

‘APPY HAPPY

how to be patient.” Carroll Caz Caroline “Living in a “text rich” environment with worded posters and signs and books around and encouraging children to read posters when you’re out and about is a huge help. We also do bedtime stories every night and a library trip every fortnight when they get to chose their own books with their ‘magic card’.” Tara Diana “If you are looking to get an older child into reading then I would suggest you spend 5-10 mins a day reading to them, even let them read it to you as they get older. Make it fun and have it as special time between mom and child or dad and child!” Susan Glennon “We have piles of books in every room in the house. Our

children, four and 16 months, gravitate towards them during the day for quiet, independent entertainment. They will flick through them and look at the pictures. Also a fortnightly trip to the library means new stories to fuel the imagination. Children copy what adults do and fortunately in our house we are readers ourselves so our children luckily just want to be part of it too.” Lisa O’Brien “I read to my son from just before he turned one, every night before bed and now it’s about three or four books every night with the two kids. They love books and often take them out themselves and flick through the pages and I can hear my four year old telling my two year old the story (in his own words obviously), he doesn’t even realise he can’t read because he knows the stories so well.” Karan Breheny

Apps are perfect tools to help your child learn to read and to encourage their comprehension. We’ve picked our top educational apps you can download straight to your phone and let them play.

Starfall Learn To Read. There are 15

mini-books, each focusing on a specific vowel, along with videos and activities to enhance literacy learning. Recommended for 4+. (€2.31, available on iPhone and Android).

Monkey Word School Adventure

is for kids who are ready to start recognizing letters and words. It is well-designed with young learners in mind. Recommended for 5+. (€1.52, available on iPhone and Android)

23/03/2015 14:53

Home is the place where memories are made. There are 5,000 people homeless in Ireland. One in seven people accessing homeless services is a child. By remembering Focus Ireland in your Will, you can provide more people with a place to call home, a place to create their own happy memories. We understand that when making your Will, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll want to care for those closest to you first, but once you have, any contribution to Focus Ireland can make such a big difference. Please contact Pauline Costello in Focus Ireland, in complete confidence, on 01 881 5900. Thank you.

1850 204 205 www.focusireland.ie

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24/03/2015 10:42 25/09/2014 10:59:22

18 ESSENTIALS: FAMILY LIFE

CHOOSING A FAMILY-FRIENDLY HOLIDAY A successful holiday with small kids is possible with a little planning and common sense. Translation: you may want to wait until your kids are a bit older for that camping in the Himalayas holiday. The concept of a holiday might be exciting for a small child, but often the reality can be different. If you have a child who likes his home comforts, even the idea of a strange bed might be too much to bear. But done right, with a little common sense and some advance planning, there is nothing like a family holiday that will produce memories that last a lifetime.

If you have babies or toddlers… Remember that when you have very small children, you will need virtually all the kit you have at home, and to stick to your baby’s routine (albeit a little more loosely). In other words, you will need space and a calm environment so baby can nap if needed. Preferably you also want a destination that can provide some of the more bulky items, such as a cot and a high chair. Plus, somewhere with some amenities for mum and dad, such as a familyfriendly restaurant, a pool or a spa, maybe even a childminding service. Look for a family-friendly hotel with self-catering houses/apartments in

the grounds – all the amenities of a hotel with the convenience of your own house. This is the perfect age for a staycation in a beautiful location like Fota Island Resort, Co Cork.

If you have a mix of ages… If like many families you have both babies and older children, you may find yourself caught between the action holiday demanded by lively older kids and the need for peace and routine for babies. Result = frazzled parents. Look for a self-catering destination with a relatively short plane ride that allows you to cater to your baby’s need for routine and has the amenities to keep older kids happy. A pool, kids’ club or nearby water park are good features to look for. Remember that hotels generally don’t work too well for families with more than two small children (there are exceptions, however), so self-catering with amenities like a bar and restaurant onsite

or nearby are generally a better option.

If you have older kids… No matter how tempted you are, or how glued your toddlers are to Disney Junior, keeping the big statement holidays like EuroDisney or Legoland are generally better for kids aged 5+. While young children may enjoy parts of it, parents who have been there usually agree that older kids get more of a kick out of holidays like these. Action holidays like skiing, cycling or camping are also great for older kids, and if you’re into the activity too, these are fabulous holidays for the family to really bond together and create lasting memories.

make you happy too, whether it’s a country that you’d like to visit or a day city trip you could make, or a spa onsite where you could chill out. And don’t go for a “themed” holiday that you know you will hate yourself (in other words, not everyone likes camping, it’s okay to admit it!). Happy mammy and daddy = happy kids.

TRAVEL ESSENTIAL

Remember you count too! With all the concentration on the kids, it’s easy to forget that it’s your holiday too. Making sure the kids are happy and occupied means that you have more chance to relax, but remember to look for things that

HONEY, I DUMPED THE KIDS

Found someone willing to take the kids for the night? RUN, Forrest, RUN. As much as we adore our babies, and we do, never will you appreciate time to yourself so much as after you have children. And it’s healthy to have time away too, whether it’s a night out with friends, or a night away with your partner. We found a little gem of a hotel in Borris, Co Carlow, called the Step House Hotel. The location means that it’s pretty accessible from much of Ireland, and it boasts some of the best food we have ever tried. The hotel hosts various tasting evenings, and packages that include overnight stays, which are perfect for a sneaky night away with your partner. For special offers and details of upcoming tasting evenings, visit their website, www. stephousehotel.ie

MI April_May 2015_News.indd 18

Ever tried to get a fiddly jacket on a baby? Ever ended up nearly in tears (both of you) when you can’t get a little arm into the tiny armhole? Us too. Designed by Irish mumpreneur Christine Carolan, the Cosynest is a wrap-around blanket suitable for babies under the age of six months that is designed for car seat or buggy. Or for older babies (6- 18 months), the Cosysleep is a reversible sleeping bag that can bring babies from cot to car seat. All from Irish brand Happynest, see www. happynest.ie for more

23/03/2015 14:55

• r e n • W in nts! e r a Calling P

WE NEED R YOUP ! HEL

SIGN UP TO BE A PRODUCT TESTER TODAY! Test five brands in your home Test over 80 products including family cars & travel systems at our Academy Day Tell us the products that work and the ones that don’t Simple online survey

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Come visit us at the Pregnancy & Baby Fair at the RDS, Simmonscourt on April 11th -12th .We’ll be signing up product testers and also running amazing competitions to win baby products and equipment worth 500.

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24/03/2015 12:03

20 ESSENTIALS: TOYS

Puss in Boots 50-piece puzzle, €14.95, Mira Mira

Castle 54-piece puzzle, €14.95, Imaginarium

Orchard Toys Big Dinosaurs 50-piece puzzle, €13, Littlewoods Ireland Jumbo wooden countryside peg puzzle, €15.55, Debenhams

Castle foam floor puzzle, €21.49, ELC @ Mothercare

PUZZLE TIME

Ravensburger DM Minions 3D Puzzleball, €13, Littlewoods Ireland

In a world where toys are increasingly genderised (see our Hot Topic feature on p24 for more on this), jigsaw puzzles appeal to all ages, all genders and are timeless. Here are some of our favourites for all children (and some of their parents!)

Princess Dress-Up peg puzzle, €6, Melissa & Doug

MI April_May 2015_News.indd 20

3D Rabbit puzzle, €3, Tiger Stores

Puzzle Numbers, €15.95, Imaginarium

23/03/2015 14:55

“My hands protect me everyday… use your hands… they’ll save your life”

Download the free “Breast Aware” app at www.breastcancerireland.com

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23/03/2015 16:03 17:11 31/01/2014 23/03/2015 12:29

22 ESSENTIALS: BOOKS

TELLING TALES Reviewed by Anne Whelton and Linda Crosbie

For great children’s book reviews, competitions, recommendations and interviews with some of your favourite authors and illustrators, visit Gobblefunked.com

PICK OF THE PILE The Umbrella By Ingrid and Dieter Schubert (Book Island), €14.99 (hardback) The adage ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ has never been truer than in this breathtakingly beautiful wordless picture book by husband and wife team Ingrid and Dieter Schubert. On a windy day a little dog finds a discarded umbrella in the garden. The moment he picks up the umbrella, it catches the wind and pulls the dog skywards, taking them both on an exciting journey around the world, from desert to sea, and from jungle to North Pole. A wonder to behold at the turn of every page, you really will want to cut out and frame every single scene illustrated in this beautiful book. Stunning. We like … The stunning illustrations They’ll love … Following the little dog’s adventures all around the world

CLASSICS FOR ALL AGES

+ 3Never yearsTickle a Tiger

+ 4Dylan’s years Amazing

By Pamela Butchart, illustrated by Marc Boutavant (Bloomsbury Children’s Books), €16.50 (hardback)

Dinosaurs: The Tyrannosaurus Rex

By the author of last year’s surprise hit Yikes, Stinkysaurus! comes Never Tickle a Tiger, a story about a mischievous little girl that crams so much energy between its covers it simple bursts off the page. Izzy is an eternal squirmer, always shuffling and twitching, to the chagrin of her parents and teacher. One day Izzy and her class go on a trip to the zoo, but all hell breaks loose when Izzy’s restless twitching gets out of hand. Colourful and energetic, this is the book to cheer them up after a tummy ache or to entertain them on a long car journey. We like … The energetic illustrations They’ll love … Naughty little Izzy’s antics

This is the first in a series of books about the adventures of a boy called Dylan and his toy pterodactyl, Wings, and as you might expect, we learn all about the colossal T. Rex. But for us to learn about the T. Rex’s scary teeth and earth-shaking snarl, Dylan has to get up close and personal with the creature, which means he needs to think on his feet so he doesn’t end up as the T. Rex’s lunch! With lots of facts about the animal’s impressive bite and tracking ability, some of the content might be a little bit too scary for younger children but is perfect for inquisitive little minds. We like … The educational content They’ll love … Meeting their very own 3D T. Rex

MI April_May 2015_News.indd 22

By ET Harper and Dan Taylor (Simon & Schuster), €10.45

0Alfie - 4 years in the Bath By Debi Gliori (Bloomsbury Children’s Books), €16.50 (hardback) The follow-up to Alfie in the Garden, our favourite little bunny is this time having lots of fun using his imagination while splashing around in the bath. Alfie is on a deep-sea adventure, meeting all sorts of ocean life, from little pink crabs to scary deep-sea monsters, but luckily dad is always only a few feet away. This is a really lovely book and makes a charming read for clean and shiny baby and toddlers just out of their own adventures in the bath. We like … The delicate pastel illustrations, perfect for bedtime. They’ll love … Going on their own bathtub adventures with ideas from Alfie!

+ 3Lily years and Bear

By Lisa Stubbs (Boxer Books), €17.25 (hardback) If it’s a bedtime story you’re looking for, they don’t get much sweeter than Lily and Bear. Lily loves to draw all sorts of things, from cats and teapots to girls and boats. When one day Lily’s drawing of a bear comes to life, the duo strike up an unlikely friendship and soon they’re as thick as thieves, sailing on carpet ships, eating huckleberries and singing songs together. But one of their favourite things to do is snuggle up together, go to sleep and dream about their next adventure. We like … That it teaches children the importance of friendship and taking turns They’ll love … The colourful illustrations

23/03/2015 14:57

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OUR SURVEY We wanted to find out how parents really felt about gender-specific toys, so we put it to our readers and over 100 parents took our survey. The results were interesting.

24 THE BURNING ISSUE

of parents would purchase more gender-neutral toys for their son/daughter if more were available on the market.

88%

said they think the media influences their childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s decisions to choose genderspecific toys.

MI April_May 2015_Gender Toys.indd 24

23/03/2015 14:38

25 THE BURNING ISSUE

Do your children play with toys marketed specifically for their gender?

TOYS

46 % 54 % YES

Do you think that toys should be marketed in a more genderneutral way?

89 % 11 % YES

MI April_May 2015_Gender Toys.indd 25

PINK, BLUE OR NEUTRAL?

Most of us have grown up in a world where dolls are for girls and trucks are for boys. But what message is this sending to our children, and how does it shape their lives for years to come? And is there an alternative? LOUISE DONNERY investigates.

t’s only when you have children that you realise how rigid the world is when it comes to gender roles. Entire toy shops are divided into “pink” floors for girls, and “blue” floors for boys; even Lego, the original gender-neutral toy, is not immune from the sea of pink and blue. While this is nothing new, if anything, toys are even more gendered now than they were 50 or 100 years ago, when gender stereotypes were set in stone in virtually every aspect of life. Whatever else has changed with gender expectations, playtime remains stuck in the land that time forgot. Toys have a huge impact on how our children view the world. Toys help children to define their gender roles; if a girl receives dolls’ houses, make-up sets and dolls, they are given a message about what the world expects them to become. If boys are given chemistry sets, tool kits, and cars, they receive a different message. Liza Crotty, managing director of ClapHandies PlayLabs, says: “The one thing that shocks me is that at a very young age we are telling girls that fashion, appearance and make up is important. I don’t know why we think it necessary for toddlers to think appearance and fashion is important?” Toys and games carry a huge social significance and even very young children are aware of their social expectations. If a child decides that this toy is ‘for a girl’ they will relate this to who they are. This impulse becomes so strong as they enter school-going age that they will instinctively reach for ‘their’ gender of toy. “Before they go to school, there is no need for them to be pushed into a particular gender

stereotype; there is no need for toys to be pink or blue,” says Liza. “I have both a boy and a girl, but I do know that once they go to school they are going to naturally levitate towards girls’ and boys’ toys.” Our gender roles are imposed on us by socialisation, which is where we learn to interact with the world. We socialise through our interactions with the people around us, the things we see and hear, as well as the toys and games we play with. Our gender roles affect everything from the type of parent we will become to the job we will pursue. While the toys we play with as children don’t have a direct link to the professions we choose when we grow up, the gender stereotype that we develop through playing with gendered toys will affect that decision. Women have made great strides in the workforce over the past few decades, but there are still overwhelming gender divides in some professions. Science, research, engineering and technology professionals are overwhelming male, whilst by contrast, leisure sectors are heavily female oriented. The media has a massive influence on the decisions our children make. Critics say toy marketing exploits gender stereotypes, channelling dolls, cookery sets and pink princesses towards girls, and action men style figurines, construction kits and blue racing cars towards boys. Campaign group Let Toys Be Toys has been canvassing toy retailers to ‘organise toys by genre not gender’, saying sexist stereotyping limits children’s interests. Let Toys Be Toys are a group made up of ten Irish and British parents who believe that retailers should

23/03/2015 14:38

26 THE BURNING ISSUE

WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY We asked child psychologist David Carey some questions about the impact of gender-specific toys.

WHAT IMPACT DO GENDERED TOYS HAVE ON CHILDREN AS THEY GROW? They have an impact on socialisation, ie how we interact with other people. We begin very early in infancy to socialise and accustom boys to be active and quite physical and we tend to socialise girls in a different way. Gender-specific toys are one of a whole host of things that we use to create our gender roles. We learn from adults by watching what they do, by feeling how they interact with us and of course the choice of play objects that they provide us with. HOW DO GENDER ROLES IMPACT CHILDREN? We adopt a more stereotypical male or female role based on how we were socialised as we grow up. There are certain occupations that are considered to be the domain of males, therefore we encourage boys to be plumbers, electricians or carpenters for example, although girls are capable of it too. But when someone violates the stereotype they begin to be looked at oddly. We are shocked by that, but we shouldn’t be. It is just how we view the role of women as opposed to the role of men. So the gender role influence will exist and expand into career choices, their roles as husbands or wives and as parents. It is there across the whole developmental growth profile. WHAT INFLUENCE DOES THE MEDIA HAVE ON OUR CHILDREN’S DECISIONS TO CHOOSE GENDER SPECIFIC TOYS? We start right from the cradle; pink for girls and blue for boys. Then it goes on and on. No one knows better how to capture the attention of a child’s brain than marketing experts. They use bright colours, swift movement and quick editing and they pitch stereotypical male toys to boys and vice versa. Who is portrayed to be playing with these toys, if it is cars or trucks? It is a little boy playing with them. If it’s dolls and dresses and princess items, it is always girls.

MI April_May 2015_Gender Toys.indd 26

let children and their parents decide what toys they should play with instead of having the packaging decide that for them. As a result, some retail giants, such as Marks and Spencer, and London toy store Hamleys, have scrapped the ‘girls’ and ‘boys’ labelling. Despite this, gender-specific marketing is still very much present in our children’s lives. Toy marketing gurus usually bombard young boys with words such as ‘battle,’ ‘power,’ ‘mission’ and ‘armour’ while girls are more likely to hear ‘love,’ ‘babies,’ ‘mommy’ and ‘glitter’. These words can be stunting for the mental and emotional development of a child, and boys in particular lose out on the emotional aspect of their playtime. Meanwhile, parents of girls have often been heard complaining of the lack of skill needed in many of the toys aimed towards girls as they get older. “I think the biggest thing to do is to avoid marketing to children,” says Liza. “I’m not saying children shouldn’t watch TV, but they should watch TV without ads. Advertising to children is really terrible and that is where they are getting their gender-specific ideas. I would

also say that the best toy a child could ever have is a parent. You could fill a room with toys but the best learning the child is going to get is it the parent sits down on the floor and plays with them for 20 minutes,” says Liza. So what can you do as a parent to combat the gender stereotyping and open up the world to your little one? “Avoid bringing gender specific toys into your house,” says Liza. “I would encourage toys that give open-ended play, that don’t just have one purpose or outcome. You need just a fraction of the toys that your children have. The less they have the more likely they are to play and I would always rotate my toys. Take away half and then rotate them every two months, they will play with the toys they have much more. In Clap Handies, we play with everyday objects. Once they get a little older we use open-ended, imaginative play. Dress-up play does not need gender specific dress up, as they are much more likely to play with a bag of fabric and some cardboard cutouts. They are also much more likely to play if you give them a bag of miscellaneous pieces and they can use their imaginations!”

Breaking the mould Laura Whalen is mammy to three children (with #4 on the way) and lives in West Cork. She works from home making custom order Waldorf Dolls and also runs doll-making workshops.

Since my boys have been very little they have played with dolls. I believe that doll play is important for all children, for many reasons. Important life and developmental skills are practised during doll play and often children will use a doll to act out their feelings. Dolls can become in a sense a “mini me”, expressing for them how they feel. They can be especially helpful in learning how children are coping with difficult situations, such as the death of a loved one, the separation of the household or the birth of a sibling. My children have two daddies; their father from whom I separated several years ago and my partner who lives with us. Often my boys will play “Daddies and Daddies” jointly caring for their dolls. It is so beautiful to see, in a way more poignant that words can say, how normal it is for my children to have two dads, how cared for they feel by both of them and how well the two men in their lives work together for their good. Aside from these benefits I want my sons to have dolls because one day they may be parents. In today’s world, raising children is a shared task. The day to day caring for a family falls to both parents and it is no longer uncommon to see a daddy pushing a buggy or comforting a crying baby. Having a doll they can clothe and feed and care for gives them the chance to do this. It

seems to me hugely unfair to expect our boys to become gentle, loving and hands-on parents with absolutely no practice whatsoever, practice that little girls get from an early age through the encouragement of doll and house play in particular. When I was looking for my son’s first doll I was so disappointed that the market offered only plastic baby dolls, aggressively marketed to girls. So I made my son a Waldorf Doll. Waldorf or Steiner Dolls are made from natural materials. Their faces are kept very simple and expressionless giving the child a blank canvas onto which to paint the emotion and age the doll needs in play. My sons have dolls, dolls that are held and carried and thrown high into trees. Dolls that hold their secrets and keep away bad dreams. Dolls that are their baby, their brother, their friend and, above all, are loved. Since I made my son’s first doll over four years ago I have been making dolls for children all over the world, more and more of them for little boys.

For more information about Laura’s dolls search for Under Rainbows on Facebook and Etsy.

23/03/2015 14:38

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24/03/2015 10:43 23/7/14 15:58:30 23/03/2015 12:24

28 MUMMY MY WAY

“I THINK A RELATIVELY

OPEN-MINDED ATTITUDE TO BIRTH IS IMPORTANT; IT IS NICE TO HAVE A

BIRTHING PLAN

BUT TO BE FIXATED ON IT CAN OFTEN LEAVE ONE UPSET

WHEN THINGS DON’T GO TO PLAN.” Eimear Ruane is mum to two little girls, three-year-old Aoife and 10-month-old Cara, and tells us here how an emergency Caesarian section on her first little lady turned out to be a positive experience.

fter a very easy pregnancy with my first little lady I was, like most mums to be, somewhat expectant of a long but straightforward labour and birth. At my 41-week check-up there was still little sign of my lady making an effort to join me on the outside so I had a sweep at CUMH. The following day I started to feel a dull ache occasionally but didn’t get too excited as I knew that aches and pains are par for the course during a pregnancy. By about 11pm that night my husband and I were able to time the contractions so we went into the hospital, which was about 40 minutes away. After my initial check I was put on a trace to monitor contractions and the baby’s heartbeat. Not long after being placed on the trace I was rushed down to the labour ward where I was told that baby’s heartbeat was dropping very low during each contraction. Following some more checks and some reassuring words of comfort from the lovely midwives in CUMH I was told things had settled down. My husband was sent home and I was kept in the induction ward overnight. The next day the sun shone, the rugby was on and the ward was bustling and I spent that Saturday in March wandering around CUMH with my tens machine on, breathing deeply, doing crosswords and bouncing endlessly on the gym ball. Saturday evening brought very frequent contractions but alas little progress in labour. At this stage I was understandably frustrated. Waters were broken and I was given pethadine and then an epidural simply so I could get some rest (and relief of course!). The nurses and midwives in CUMH were so kind and helpful and kept myself and my husband well informed. Saturday evening echoed the happenings of the previous night with baby’s heartbeat dropping with each contraction. I was given Oxytocin twice in an effort to progress labour but we reached a stalemate at about midnight and the decision was taken by me, my husband and the consultant to

MI April_May 2015_Mummy My Way.indd 28

proceed with a C-section. Despite my initial fears the whole experience was calm, kind and comforting and baby finally came into the world at 2.04am on March 12th 2012, a fine, healthy 10lbs 5oz. I breastfed our daughter within hours of the birth. I had the option of doing so in the recovery room but the medication made me a little sick. Thankfully the breastfeeding went relatively well but I would advise other mothers that are intending on breastfeeding to attend a class. My recovery from the C-section was easy, a few days of discomfort but I was back doing some very gentle exercise after getting clearance from the doctor at six weeks’ postpartum. I had, like all new mothers, informed myself in advance of my due date as to what my options could be and all the potential outcomes. I think a relatively open-minded attitude to the whole experience is important, it is nice to have a birthing plan but to be fixated on it can often leave one upset when things don’t go to plan. I had hoped for some time in the water bath in CUMH and little or no medication. Clearly what transpired in reality was a good deal different to my original idea. At the end of the day, however, my emergency section was nowhere near as scary as it might sound, and the result was a beautiful baby girl – what could be more positive than that? Aoife is now three years old and a lovely, lively little girl. She has since been joined by a little sister, Cara, who is 10 months old. Cara was born via elective C-section, due mainly to her size (she was 10lbs 3oz at birth at 39 weeks). My little girls may have entered the world a vastly different way to how I imagined, but I feel blessed to have had the medical support to deliver them safely into our family. Eimear blogs from Cork about life with two small ladies, DIY ideas, style inspiration and beauty tips at www.thetwodarlings.com

23/03/2015 14:43

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30 DAD’S DIARY

UNHELPFUL, RUDE AND GRUMPY

NICK WILKINSON discovers the secret to getting his children to help with household chores – by being unhelpful, rude and grumpy…

oes it make me a bad dad if I get a little bit envious of other parent’s children? By that I mean occasionally wishing that I could swap for a month or two – just to see what it’s like to have a perfect child. It would help me discover whether I was failing as a parent. Maybe my kids are genetically predisposed to being unhelpful, rude and grumpy – at exactly the moment when I want them to be helpful, polite little gems. If it’s in their genes, it can’t all be my fault. My nephew is only four, but he wields a rake like a veteran keeper of the gravel pathways in Farmleigh. He can hoe a vegetable patch like a midwest sharecropper. The only time he complains is if his work runs out. When he and his family went on holiday, they sent home a video of him raking the sand outside their hotel while the local person employed to do the raking looked on in bewilderment – and perhaps with some concern for his job. The first time I saw this boy at work, I thought, ‘I want one of them’. We are renovating our house and he’d be a really useful little guy to have around. Unfortunately, he’s only available on weekends. So, with renovations going on and a garden to try and tame, I went out and bought my own children mini versions of all the essential tools – rakes, spades, forks. Even a little wheelbarrow each to push their gear around in – and hopefully to load up with yanked weeds and cut grass. I knew that if I ordered them outside and told them to get to work, I’d be met with a barrage of whinging, so I led from the front, wheeling my own tools into the garden to show them how it was done. Less than half an hour later, I was working alone while my wife sat inside applying plasters. Not all four year olds can be trusted to wield a rake without injuring their siblings. “It’s just an excuse not to help,” I complained when I learned that they had been let off work until their wounds healed. “When I was their age, I had to do a day’s work before breakfast.” My wife raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you hated that,” she said. Still, she knew what I meant. An industrious child is a happy child. It doesn’t matter what the end product is. Just seeing them outside in the fresh air makes a parent feel good. I threw my tools down in a huff and went to my office to look up parenting advice on giving chores – and cheap flights to destinations where other people are paid to rake your sand. When I got home, I found that our electrician had arrived to update our Victorian fuse board. He’s a lovely, free-spirited guy who doesn’t let himself be tied down by unimportant things like sticking to an arranged time or date to turn up on a job. But he’s great with kids. He greeted me with a cheery hello. My daughter didn’t. She was concentrating too hard, sitting on the floor, using a screwdriver to attach a wire to a junction box – from which half a dozen other, dangerous-looking wires protruded. “Don’t worry,” the electrician whispered. “I made her a special one. It’s not live. She just loves giving me a hand.” I didn’t ask him how she would tell the difference between live or not once he’d left. She was completely absorbed in her work, so I left them at it and went looking for my wife and son. I found them upstairs. For weeks, I had been promising to paint the bathroom. But I’d been too busy. I poked my head around the door and saw that the walls had changed colour. Further investigation revealed mother and son, busy with rollers. Excess paint dribbled down the walls onto the skirting. The floor looked like a Jackson Pollock painting. Both painters were speckled turquoise. As were the sink, bath and toilet. The only things that still gleamed white were the teeth in their happy smiles. “What do you think?” my son asked. “Brilliant,” I said, wondering where I’d hidden the white spirits. I now have a duo of willing workers to help fix up the house. All I have to do is be unhelpful, rude and grumpy.

“Maybe my kids are genetically predisposed to being unhelpful, rude and grumpy – at exactly the moment when I want them to be helpful, polite little gems.”

MI April_May 2015_Dads's Diary.indd 30

23/03/2015 14:44

31 TREND

MATERNITY

Portman maternity tunic dress, €107, Isabella Oliver

Style

MI April_May 2015_Style Opener.indd 31

Welcome to the best in maternity style this April/May, where we show you how to incorporate this season’s biggest trends into your maternity wardrobe. Trimester Trends on page 32 is a mixture of Seventies style and comfort for you and bump. Our maternity trend on page 33 is sports luxe, which is even more comfortable and on trend. Lastly, with the birth of Kate Middleton’s second child expected imminently we steal her pregnancy style for the final time and look forward to getting a glimpse of the latest addition to the royal family very soon!

23/03/2015 16:49

32 TREND

Trimester Trends

Pregnancy doesn’t mean you can’t keep up with the latest trends. Here’s how you and bump can keep in with the biggest trend for SS15: Seventies style. Whether it’s flares, culottes, boho dresses or skirts – it’s going to be a groovy kinda summer.

DENIM DREAM

ALL PEACHY 1

1 M&I

2 M&I

O n T rend

SET FOR SUMMER

3 4 4

O n T rend

M&I

7 6

1 Interwoven chains earrings, €14.95, Zara 2 Maternity long-sleeve gypsy top, €11.99, New Look 3 Sunglasses, €9.99, H&M 4 Flared dungarees, €61, ASOS 5 Tom Ford eye colour quad, €70, Brown Thomas 6 Leather bag, €39.99, H&M 7 Suede chunky sandals, €97.95, Topshop

MI April_May 2015_Fashion Trimester Trends.indd 32

1 Sally Hansen Peach of Cake nail colour, €8.95, stockists nationwide 2 Long-sleeve top, €39.95, Zara 3 Maternity crepe culotte shorts, €55.77, Topshop 4 Rimmel Glam Eyes liquid liner, €6.99, Boots 5 Suede platform mules, €65, River Island 6 Bandana necklace, €25.95, Zara

O n T rend

1 Orange animal print scarf, €9.99, New Look 2 Charlotte Tilbury Cheek to Chic Climax pop blusher, €39, Brown Thomas 3 Alana maternity layering tank top, €55, Isabella Oliver 4 Skirt, €39.99, H&M 5 Charlotte Tilbury Lip Cheat in Pink Venus lip liner, €22, Brown Thomas 6 Eve mirror tote, €61.21, Accessorize 7 Leather shoes, €39.99, H&M

23/03/2015 15:04

3323

TREND 3 2

13 5

12 10

LUXE

The sports luxe trend is perfect for pregnancy, as it means you can wear comfy, loose material and still be on trend. In fact, there’s never been a better excuse to go about your day in sportswear - take advantage and be comfy!

1 Premium floral organza bomber jacket, €87, ASOS 2 Necklace, €30, Next 3 Autograph top, €39.84, Marks & Spencer 4 Cropped jacket, €40.54, Bronprix 5 Black monochrome tailored trousers, €60, River Island 6 MAMA short-sleeved Henley top, €14.99, H&M 7 Black snakeskin textured ankle strap zip-back heels, €24.99, New Look 8 Unisex ice-solid watch, €124.99, Argos 9 Leather cross-body bag, €39, Accessorize 10 V-neck top, €24.99, H&M 11 Sandals, €49.99, H&M 12 Denim blue melange joggers, €101, Isabella Oliver 13 Maternity woven formal joggers, €40.51, Topshop

MI April May 2014_Fashion Trend_V2.indd 33

23/03/2015 15:10

34 TREND Square drop earrings, €6.77, M&Co

Florrie floral print dress, €119, Seraphine

E x act C op y

Bobbi Brown dark brown eyebrow kit, €64, Arnotts – Kate is rumoured to get her defined eyebrows using this product

STEAL HER

STYLE We’re slightly obsessed with Kate Middleton’s pregnancy style at the moment and we are praying for a princess to be born this April - just to see how the baby is dressed! It’s only fair that the Duchess of Cambridge is our steal style this month, both to celebrate her due date and to acknowledge her classic maternity wear. We also love the fact that for the best part of her pregnancy, Kate has worn high-street brands, including one of our favourites, Seraphine, on numerous occasions. Here’s how you can steal her style.

Zeta Grosgrain metal bar clutch, €20, Littlewoods

Semiprecious ring, €13.43, Topshop

GETTY IMAGES

Nine West flax court shoe, €89, Brown Thomas

Natasha cashmere blend coat, €239, Seraphine (also comes in blush)

MI April_May 2015_Fashion Steal Her Style.indd 34

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36 TREND

S SHOES u mmer Beach shoes, summer sandals, trainers, walkers – get ready for summer with the best of footwear for your little ones

L-R: Trainers with a print (1 1/2-10yrs), €12.99, H&M. Volkin ice red sandals (12-24mths), from €43.39, Clarks. Leather docksides (3mths-3yrs), €35.95, Zara. Sunray protect sandals (6mths-3yrs), €21, Nike.

L-R: Pico runners (3mths-3yrs), €15.99, Nike. Leather clogs with buckle (3-14yrs), €29.95, Zara. 2G printed trainers (3yrs-7yrs), €4, Penneys. Blue suede shoes, €56.95 (18mths-6yrs), Amaia kids.

L-R: Softly flag red combi shoes (24mths-7yrs), from €43.39, Clarks. Beach socks (3mths-6yrs), from €19, Next. Rubber sandals (3mths-3yrs), €12.95, Zara. Fruit corkbed sandals (3mths-6yrs), from €16, Next

MI April_May 2015_ToddlerTrend_Shoes_v3.indd 36

23/03/2015 15:19

37 TREND

1 3

BABY

Enjoy every moment of your tiny newborn baby by dressing your little bundle in romper suits. Trust us, they grow very fast!

6 5

9 7

13 11

1 Emile et Rose Esme frilled romper set (3-9mths), €45, Brown Thomas 2 Character booties (0-12mths), €8, Mamas & Papas 3 Striped onesie (1-9mths), €19.95, Zara 4 Two-pack interlock hats, €7.50, Mothercare 5 Two-piece crocodile set (0-12mths), €27, Mamas & Papas 6 Jersey playsuit (0-9mths), €21.95, Minimize 7 Greenwich dungarees (0-3yrs), €30.40, Amaia kids 8 Unisex velour Little Friends dungaree set (tiny baby-9mths), €20, Mothercare 9 Star sweater with buttons (0-9mths), €12.95; Drawstring knit trousers, (0-9mths), €9.95, Zara 10 Emile et Rose Elle dress (3-9mths), €55, Brown Thomas 11 Pink cardigan (0-12mths), €35, Mamas & Papas 12 Three-pack bibs, €16.20, Mamas & Papas 13 Two-pack floral headband, €6, Mothercare 14 Two-pack short rompers (0-12mths), €24.29, Mamas & Papas Main image: Unisex bear dungaree set (tiny baby-9mths), €21.50, Mothercare

MI April_May 2015_ToddlerTrend_OhBaby.indd 37

23/03/2015 15:12

38 TREND

5 13

11 12 10

get

10 7

PREPPY

Not just for adults, the American-inspired preppy trend looks super smart and cute on little ones. And don’t think you need to shell out big bucks for designer names; this look is achieved on a budget too.

1 Tassled print scarf, €12.95, Zara 2 Fluro quilted pea coat (0-3yrs), €26, River Island 3 Pattern polo (1-7yrs), €59.90, Tommy Hilfiger 4 Chinos (3mths-3yrs), €17.95, Zara 5 Bug print glasses, €8, Monsoon 6 Suede brogues (1-7yrs), from €34, Marks & Spencer 7 Printed linen shirt (12mths-3yrs), €79.90, Tommy Hilfiger 8 Shirt dress (4mths-2yrs), €12.99, H&M 9 Black and pink bow geek glasses, €7, Claire’s Accessories 10 Frill sleeve blouse (3-16yrs), from €12, Next 11 Bag, €4, Penneys 12 Chambray polka dot trilby (1-6yrs), from €11, Next 13 Rebel blazer (12mths-3yrs), €249, Tommy Hilfiger Main Image: Navy cotton blazer (3mths-3yrs), from €25; dinosaur printed shirt (3mths-3yrs), from €15; coral chinos (3mths-3yrs), from €19, all from Next

MI April_May 2015_ToddlerTrend_Preppy.indd 38

23/03/2015 15:15

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40 PREGNANCY

MI April_May 2015_Older Mums.indd 40

23/03/2015 15:26

41 MUMS & WORK

OLDER WISER? NOT

There has been a huge increase in women waiting until their late thirties and even early forties to start a family – but at what cost to a woman and baby’s health? And what are the lifestyle changes to consider before deciding to wait another while? RACHEL MURRAY weighs out the pros and the cons.

ociety has changed immensely in recent decades, and one of the biggest changes has been the age at which women are choosing to start their families. Many are waiting until their thirties, and even into their forties, to have children for a number of different reasons, the most pertinent of which is the fact that we are living longer. This increase in life expectancy means that women can have children in their forties and live to see their children to have children of their own. Plus, advances in healthcare mean that we stay healthy for longer. There are also practical reasons why couples are choosing to have children later in life; people in their thirties or forties are generally in a better financial situation and feel mature and settled enough to give their children their full attention. Waiting to have children also leaves more time for a woman to find her feet in life and for a couple to build a strong foundation before bringing a child into the world. Actress Salma Hayek gave birth to her daughter, Valentina Paloma Pinault, when she was 41: “It’s a little nerve-racking to wait that long, but it’s the best time…because you’ve done so many other things in your life. You just get it out of

MI April_May 2015_Older Mums.indd 41

your system, and you can really relax into being a mother…. If you’re 23, you don’t know this because you think you have to do so many more things. But if you already did them, then you can really focus and enjoy every minute of it.” Women having children in their forties is becoming more and more common. The average age of women giving birth in Ireland is 31.5, according to a 2012 ESRI report on pregnancy and births, and more than one-quarter of all births are to women over the age of 35. According to the CSO, in 2013, 3,989 women over 40 gave birth, compared with 272 first time mums aged between 40-44 in 2000; 451 in 2005 and 797 in 2010. It’s clear the number of women and couples holding off on parenting is at an all-time high. There is no denying that the best time physically to have a child is when a woman is in her twenties. It is when we are at our most fertile, and the risk of miscarriage, birth defects and other complications is at its lowest. However, it’s important to remember that women are never immune from risks during pregnancy or childbirth, no matter what age they are. The risks in pregnancy and childbirth in first-time mums aged 40 plus have been widely reported over the last few years. A woman

aged 40-plus is three times more likely to have serious pregnancy complications such as preeclampsia, has increased risk of miscarriage and gestational diabetes, and has a higher chance of needing a Caesarean section. The possibility of a premature labour is also statistically much higher. Fiona Hanrahan, Assistant Director of Midwifery/Nursing at the Rotunda Hospital, further explains the complications some mums may face: “Becoming pregnant can be challenging for women over 40. So many pregnant women have undergone infertility treatment. This is stressful and makes the pregnancy ‘precious’. “The main medical risks are from pre-existing medical problems that women at that age may have. Antenatal care patterns are no different but it is not advised that women go overdue on their pregnancy as the rate of unexplained stillbirth rises after term in that age group. Women 40+ and pregnant are slightly more prone to high blood pressure, which can affect fetal growth/placental function so these babies may be delivered prematurely. Women over 40 also have a higher incidence of multiple pregnancy with all the complications that can bring.”

23/03/2015 15:26

42 PREGNANCY

Unfortunately, there are also higher risks to a woman’s unborn baby, explains Dr Dan McKenna, Consultant of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at Cork University Hospital: “Increased fetal risk of miscarriage, chromosomal abnormalities, structural birth defects, pre-term labour, low birth weight/ intrauterine growth restriction and stillbirth. Down’s syndrome is the most common genetic problem in pregnancy and is the genetic problem that is most associated with increasing maternal age. Overall, incidence of Downs is about one in 650 live births. The risk is one in 1500 at 20 years. One in 900 at 30 years. One in 250 at 35 years. One in 100 at 40 years and one in 37 at 44 years of age.” There are many prenatal tests that women can have to look out for these problems. Some of the tests are non invasive (maternal bloods + scan combo) to the fetus but are not 100 per cent accurate. A definitive diagnosis can only be obtained via an invasive test, either a CVS or an Amniocentesis. These tests carry a miscarriage risk of 1-2 per cent. It is advisable to speak to a healthcare professional about the risks of having a baby with a genetic disorder before becoming pregnant. When choosing to have children in your forties, there are a number of lifestyle issues to consider. For instance, your health and energy levels may not be as good as they were

in your twenties. It is hugely important to maintain a healthy lifestyle; this includes exercising and a healthy diet. During your pregnancy make sure to exercise at least twice a week even if it is just going for a long walk. Mums over 40 also have a higher chance of suffering from post-natal depression. Just be aware of this and try not fall into a trap of staying at home with baby. Be sure to get out and meet with friends and family or get out for your daily walk. If you are an older mum who is pregnant or if you are considering pregnancy for the first time, it is vital that you are in optimal health before and during pregnancy. This includes losing weight if needs be, cutting out alcohol and cigarettes, eating a healthy diet and taking regular exercise. These factors are paramount to the wellbeing of you and your unborn child. It is also important not to stress. Remember that your health and the health of your baby are monitored closely by your doctor, midwife, consultant and hospital team. Whatever your age, the goal of your medical team is to deliver a healthy newborn to a healthy mother – play your part in being as healthy as possible and rest assured that they will look after you as much as medically possible.

“WE DON’T SEE ANY DISADVANTAGES ABOUT BEING OLDER PARENTS. IT GAVE US A NEW LEASE OF LIFE.” MAURA FITZPATRICK thought she would never have children, but to her surprise became pregnant at the age of 40. Now, nearly 15 years on, she tells us her experience of life as an older mum.

When l was 26 l had my right ovary and tube removed as l had a 5lbs mass on it. My consultant said I was lucky to be alive. I was told my chances of conceiving were less them three per cent. At that time I didn’t care, I was so happy to have come through this nightmare and was alive. I was 34 when I met my wonderful husband. We married two years later. I told him from the start that l probably would never have a child of my own. I remember the day I hit 40. I woke up in such a low mood, knowing that any chance of motherhood was gone. However, a few weeks later I started to feel very tired and generally unwell. I though that maybe the menopause was starting. But a visit to my doctor confirmed that l was actually pregnant. I couldn’t believe it, and telling my husband was one of the happiest moments of my life. Friends and family were thrilled for us but l did experience a few catty remarks like ‘God you won’t know what’s hit you now, your life will change’. One day when l was six months gone l had to go to the maternity hospital as l was unwell. The midwife looked at my file and said, ‘Oh my God you’re pregnant with your first baby at 40, what a nightmare god love you.’ She made me feel as small as a grain of sand.The pregnancy from 18 weeks on was lovely. Our gorgeous baby girl was born weighing 4kgs, two weeks before my 41st birthday. I remember looking at her and thinking what a beauty, our little miracle. Our daughter is almost 15 now and we are so proud of her. We don’t see any disadvantages about being older parents. It gave us a new lease of life. Older parents would be more settled. I did a lot of travelling in my twenties and worked in several countries from UK to Australia. Financially, older parents are usually in a better position. I am very young at heart and have a lot of friends younger than me.

MI April_May 2015_Older Mums.indd 42

“GIVEN MY AGE, EVERY SCAN WAS A NERVE-WRACKING EXPERIENCE AS THERE WAS ALWAYS THE FEAR THAT SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE BEEN WRONG” JACKIE RAFFERTY from Cork shares her story of becoming for the first time at 39

I was beginning to think that I would never be a mother. I had a long-term relationship in my early twenties but after that no relationship seemed to last more than five months. Then into my life came Chris. Seven months later I was pregnant at the age of 38. The pregnancy itself was relatively uncomplicated. I had pretty bad morning sickness, all day and night, for the first 16 weeks, which I think was exacerbated by the fact that I had to come off medication I had been on following a back operation. Given my age every scan was also a nerve-wracking experience as there was always the fear that something might have been wrong. I was told by numerous midwives that 38 was not an old mum anymore but it didn’t stop the worry. Chris and I did discuss getting the relevant tests done to see if there may be something wrong with the baby but decided against it as regardless of what any test result showed, we were always going to have the baby. Little Amy Anna was born on September 21st, 2013, by 39-year-old me! She was perfect. Getting used to being a mum was tough going initially. Me and breastfeeding did not work out despite my best efforts. But I was very lucky because Amy was an excellent baby and went into a good routine very quickly. She had a very placid temperament and despite colic, reflux and projectile vomit she really was the perfect baby. This was particularly a blessing as myself and Chris separated when she was three months old, so since then I am doing it all myself. Life for Amy and I is good. I work full-time so unfortunately only get to see her for around two hours a day but I enjoy the time I do have with her more. I am tired but I don’t know if that’s because of my age or because I work full-time and am a single mum! I do know that I wouldn’t change a thing and I know that she is the reason I am and I couldn’t imagine life without her. She is a very determined independent little girl, just like her mummy, and I am in awe every day of what this little person is going to do. I am very aware, however, that when she is hitting her teens, I’ll be going through the menopause!

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44 BABY

YOUR

FIRST WEEK

SURVIVAL GUIDE Labour? That’s the easy part. Bringing home baby is when the fun really starts, says SARAH BREEN

ongratulations! After nine long months of waiting and wondering, you’ve finally met your beautiful new baby. Labour and delivery are behind you now and it’s normal to feel nervous and anxious about what lies ahead. But don’t worry, we’re here to help. This first week will see you really finding your feet as a mum. You might not realise it, but you already instinctively know what to do. For everything else, here are the need-to-know baby-care basics to help you on your way.

which affects 15-20 per cent of new mums in the weeks after birth. “If there’s anything that causes you concern, either physically or emotionally, you can contact your public health nurse. Postnatal depression is more common than you think,” says Jillian. “We also remind mums of the importance of a daily shower. It’s not just about washing; it’s a little bit of time to herself. It helps the body to relax and heal too.”

You Yes, you. You are important too. Depending on your delivery, your body may feel like it’s been through the wringer, or you might feel just slightly sore. You’ve been through a lot, so plenty of fluids and nutritious foods are important, as is resting as much as you can. The changes in your hormone levels may cause mood swings, so be prepared to feel delirious with joy one minute and be weeping with fear and exhaustion the next. “It’s normal to have an unpredictable emotional phase and it helps to talk about it,” says Jillian Deady, a public health nurse based in Dublin. However, keep an eye on yourself because feeling low, irritable, weary and anxious a lot of the time are potential symptoms of postnatal depression,

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TRY THIS Skin-to-skin contact is a great for attachment so tuck baby in close whenever you can. And when you can’t, give Daddy a turn.

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45 BABY

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“Being a newborn baby is scary. They go from the relative safety and comfort of the womb to a bright and loud new world, and being in their mother’s arms is often where they feel most comfortable.”

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46 BABY

Public health nurse Around 72 hours after you’re discharged from hospital, your local public health nurse will pay you a visit at home to see how you and your baby are getting on. They’ll probably weigh the baby too. Depending on how you’re healing, or if you’re breastfeeding, they may offer to visit again soon. “We leave our contact details with the mother so that if she needs us, we’re available,” says Jillian. “The next official visit we make is at three months for a developmental assessment. But the number of visits will vary depending on your needs and the needs of your baby.”

Feeding You already know that breastfeeding is the best way to meet all of your baby’s nutritional needs, as well as providing an opportunity to bond. It may be the way nature intended, but it usually takes some practice as you both get to grips with this new skill. “You won’t hear the baby gulping down milk in the first couple of days because colostrum is only produced in very small amounts,” says Jillian. In the past, mothers were told to get babies on a “feeding schedule” but the latest recommendation is that you feed on demand. “Follow your baby’s cues,” says Jillian. “Opening and closing his mouth, moving his hands towards his face, making cooing noises and the rooting reflex are all signs of hunger.” Don’t get too hung up on feeding though, as a newborn baby’s tummy is really teeny. “It goes from the size of a chickpea to a cherry,” says Jillian. “They don’t need huge volumes to satisfy them, but because they digest it quickly they need to be fed often.” If you choose to bottle feed, you’ll need to buy at least six bottles, discs, teats, lids, a brush and a steriliser. It’s important to follow the formulamaking instructions on the can carefully and avoid making up feeds in advance. “We encourage parents to feed about every three hours if they’re using formula,” says Jillian.

POOP SCOOP For your guide to baby poop, turn to p14!

Nappies For the first day or two, babies produce a dark, tar-like substance called meconium. “That can really take parents by surprise,” says Jillian. When you’re breastfeeding, it’s impossible to know how much milk your baby is actually drinking so counting wet and dirty nappies will offer some reassurance. “The only way the baby has a wet nappy is because she had a feed,” says Jillian. By about day three, breastfed poop is runny and grainy like wholegrain mustard while formula poop tends to be more solid and smelly. Don’t be surprised if your baby poops five times in one day and none the next, by the way. They like to keep you on your toes.

Sleeping Birth is not just exhausting for you, you may find your baby is extra drowsy for the first couple of days too. In fact, the average newborn sleeps 16-20 hours a day. “They do a lot of sleeping in between feeds,” says Jillian. “If the sleepy times happen to be during the day, and the wakeful times are at night, follow your baby’s cues and the pattern will soon settle down.” Some babies will want to feed every 90 minutes throughout the day and night while others will cluster feed for a couple of hours and then nod off for a three-hour stretch. Things will eventually settle down and something of a routine will reveal itself. Until then, close your eyes whenever you can. And try not to think about the chores that are going undone. They can wait.

Crying Being a newborn baby is scary. They go from the relative safety and comfort of the womb to a bright and loud new world, and being in their mother’s arms is often where they feel most comfortable. Some babies only cry when

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they’re hungry, while others kick off as soon as you put them down. Common reasons for crying include having a wet or dirty nappy, hunger, wind, boredom and loneliness. “Some babies have a restless, unsettled period for no apparent reason at the same time every day,” says Jillian. “It can be stressful for new parents who wonder what they’ve done wrong. But it’s perfectly normal and to be expected.”

Dressing The optimum room temperature for a newborn is 18-20 degrees Celsius and it’s important that it doesn’t fluctuate too much. “Babies don’t have the ability to regulate their own body temperature for the first few weeks,” says Jillian. “They can’t shiver if they’re cold or sweat if they’re too warm.” It’s quite common for their hands and feet to feel cool, but it’s the baby’s trunk temperature you need to keep an eye on. You can do this by feeling the chest or back. “If it feels sticky they’re too warm and if it’s chilly, add a layer,” says Jillian.

Bathing Unlike adults, babies don’t sweat so you don’t need to bathe them daily. Twice a week is enough to keep them fresh, as well as a quick top and tail wash every day including wiping those tiny little creases. “Bathing is a time for parents to enjoy rather than a necessity from the baby’s perspective,” says Jillian. “Avoid any products for the first weeks because the baby’s skin is still adjusting to the world.” Unless you’ve seen a newborn baby before, the umbilical stump can be a bit scary. To help it heal (and ultimately, fall off) just clean around the base gently. “Plain water and cotton wool is adequate,” adds Jillian. “Continue to clean the area for a couple of weeks afterwards. And don’t be surprised if there’s still some discharge as it heals.”

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47 THE BREAST ADVICE

BACK TO WORK AND BREASTFEEDING You don’t have to abandon breastfeeding when it’s time to go back to work, says mum-of-two and NUK Ireland breastfeeding advisor CLIODNA GILROY

had always hoped to breastfeed my children but I had put no thought into it. I expected feeding to go smoothly and then at about three months I was going to move on to the bottle. And of course I was going to be back in my skinny jeans leaving the hospital and socialising by the weekend. (Parenthood was a big shock to me) In none of my daydreams did I ever image it was going to take 11 weeks to get breastfeeding established, nor did I expect it to become so important to me. Before any of you look in horror and think “11 WEEKS, I’m not doing that”, let me explain, my son has physical and verbal dyspraxia, this leads to him having very poor muscle tone and it took all that time for his little facial muscles to build up the strength to latch and feed. So rest assured that for most women it does not take 11 weeks! When my little man was six-and-a-half months old it was time to go back to work and I thought, it’s time to introduce the bottle. Then I got mad. Why did I have to give up something I had worked so hard to achieve just because we only get 26 weeks’ maternity leave? Up until then it had not occurred to me that I could work and breastfeed; in fact, the law is very clear on this and you are entitled to time off to express or feed your baby. I assumed that extended feeding was only for people who didn’t have to go back to work, and I thought people feeding toddlers were extreme and a little nuts! (I’ve since realised how wrong I am!) I expected a backlash for feeding a baby who was over six months old, but, other than one snide remark from a friend’s mother, it never came. I didn’t want to give up breastfeeding yet and my little boy didn’t seem too keen on the idea either. So I made a compromise. I would get up a little early and feed him in the mornings and maybe I would keep the bedtime feeds going as he goes to sleep so well on the breast. I felt I was

doing something unacceptable so I kept the fact that I was still feeding to myself. How silly I was to feel like I was cheating by giving my baby boy the best. The WHO guidelines recommend feeding your baby up to two years of age and beyond, but by the time my little man was 18 months old I felt like I was breaking all the parenting rules. If you are now discovering what a great experience breastfeeding is and you’re hoping to keep on feeding after returning to work then maybe check out “back to work and breastfeeding” on Facebook. It’s very reassuring to see there are plenty of women who can do it and they can give you practical and moral support! You very often hear about how hard it is to start breastfeeding, you hear about pains, cracked nipples, mastitis, poor latches and engorgement. But what you don’t get to hear about as much is how hard it is to stop breastfeeding. It is a very special thing that only I could do for my children. On my first it was a battle we won, with the wonderful help of the breastfeeding support network. With my second there was never any question about how I would feed her. She was born around the time we discovered that my son had special needs and I am very grateful for breastfeeding; a lot of my time was taken up with meetings and sessions with Speech & Language, OT and Physio for my son, but breastfeeding was our time. I was braver going back to work this time. My management knew I was going to be breastfeeding and I would need time to express and to be home with my children every night until we decided to end our breastfeeding journey. When I say ‘we’ I mean she. Any time my children are sick or have a fall and cry I wish I could pop them back on the boob. It was always the best comfort and the instant cure for anything! I have experienced first hand how hard starting breastfeeding can be, but when you get going, it can be the most wonderful thing for you and your child.

“The WHO guidelines recommend feeding your baby up to two years of age and beyond, but by the time my little man was 18 months old I felt like I was breaking all the parenting rules.”

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48 PRACTICALS

Product Guide to:

TRAVEL SYSTEMS

The first in a new series dedicated to help you make the best choice when shopping for your baby, we take a look at Travel Systems â&#x20AC;&#x201C; why you might need one, how to find the best for your needs and what are the best models on the market today.

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49 PRACTICALS

ith a new baby comes a lot of kit – at vastly varying prices. The sky really is the limit when it comes to baby accessories, but as most of us are on a budget, it’s important to do your research and spend wisely when it comes to the big items. In the first of a new series designed to guide you when making those big purchases, we look at travel systems, which is generally bought before the baby is born.

What is a travel system? A travel system is basically everything you need to transport your baby from birth to the age of about three. Gavan Costello of Baby Elegance, an Irish company that won the maternity & infant award in 2014 for Best Travel System for its innovative Beep Twist product (see pic below), explains further: “A travel system is a pushchair frame that you can easily fit other parts to. This normally consists of a seat unit (toddler seat), carrycot and car seat. This has great advantages over a normal stroller as you can leave baby to sleep in the car seat or carrycot while on the go without disturbing them. The seat unit is normally forward- and rearward facing, which allows you to have baby face you and also turn it to forward facing when it’s time to explore.”

Are they worth the investment? When it comes to new baby purchases, a travel system tends to be one of the most spendy – but it’s worth it. “The reason a travel system is more expensive than a pushchair is that you get a lot more with it,” Gavan explains. “The frame is normally designed to a higher quality than a pushchair. They can include a carrycot, which in some cases is suitable for overnight sleeping and naps, and is brilliant for on the go with baby to enable them to lie perfectly flat - the perfect position for a newborn. As your baby gets bigger, you can swap the carrycot for the (included) seat unit, which is usually suitable from six months up to 15kg. A travel system will also normally come with an infant carrier car seat that is suitable from 0-13kg. “If it is your first baby and you need a car seat and a pushchair then a travel system offers great value over buying them separately and in terms of usage, a travel system makes moving around with your baby very easily.”

make when choosing your travel system: “Comfort and safety is always most important so always look for a travel system that has a carrycot or a seat unit that can go fully flat. As long as it goes flat, a seat unit will do, however a carrycot adds more comfort. “The car seat is an important one. If you want Isofix [a fitting in modern cars that makes it easy to transfer your seat to the car seat] then make sure the system you choose is compatible or has a base available. Your best way to check is to drive to your local store and they normally have someone qualified to check your car for the different options. “The frame should fold small enough for storage or to fit in the boot of the car and leave room for other things. It should also be light enough for you to carry when not in use. “Ease of use is vital. You don’t want to be stuck in a car park messing around with adaptors and removing wheels. A system that the parts easily clip onto is vital. “After sales service – Your buggy will go through a lot of use and you need to know that the back up is there from your retailer / manufacturer if and when it’s needed.”

Do I have to spend a fortune for a decent system? This is where shopping around really counts. Travel systems are available for any budget, so don’t be fooled into thinking you have to spend thousands in order for your baby to be safe when out and about. “Nearly all of the systems available in Ireland these days meet

the EN1888 safety standards,” Gavan explains. “These standards really put the buggies through their paces and ensure the systems are built to a high standard. There are loads of different options out there to meet any budget so be sure to shop around for one that meets your needs and budget.”

What about secondhand? While buying secondhand is a great way of getting good-quality baby equipment at an affordable price, unless you’re absolutely sure about the history of your travel system, this might be one purchase that you might want to buy new. “Although buying secondhand might save you money in the short term, you may find it more expensive in the long run,” says Gavan. “Firstly I would never recommend buying a car seat second hand as you don’t know if the seat has been involved in an accident or not. [The RSA always recommends buying a new carseat for the same reason]. Then, you might find that the car seat is more expensive when bought separately. “You also don’t know how the system was used previously and if it was looked after. When buying a secondhand car you have a mechanic look it over – but with a travel system, that’s not going to happen. Buggies that are not looked after can in time have issues with the wheel bearings and adaptors etc. Most brands come with a manufacturer’s warranty; however, this is normally used up by the time the second user has bought it and having these parts changed can be expensive.”

Things to consider If this is your first baby, the vast array of travel systems on the market can be daunting, to say the least. Thinking about what you need from a travel system, how much you have to spend and shopping around are very important. Gavan outlines some of the considerations to

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Travel Systems OUR TOP PICKS There are a myriad of great travel systems on the market – here are just a few of our favourites.

BABY ELEGANCE BEEP TWIST, €399.99 The winner of the maternity & infant Award for Best Travel System in 2014 after being put through its paces by our panel of parent testers, Baby Elegance’s Beep Twist is a onestop travel system that is available in a range of different colours. Consists of car seat (0-13kg), carrycot, rearand forward-facing buggy (0-15kg), raincover and your choice of colour pack.

MOTHERCARE XPEDIOR TRAVEL SYSTEM, €349.99 Mothercare’s latest innovation is the new three-in-one Xpedior travel system that is suitable from newborn without the need for a separate carrycot, thanks to its prammettestyle seat. The system includes the infant carrier, car seat, pram apron and liner, cosytoe, harness chest pads and the Mothercare weathershield, and parents can choose between three- and fourwheel models.

MAXI COSI LOOLA 3, €349 (ALL-INONE DEAL WITH CARRYCOT, BASE AND CABRIOFIX CAR SEAT: €549.99, EUROBABY) The Maxi-Cosi Loola 3 features a reversible, reclining seat unit with lie-flat option, and comes complete with a matching Baby Nest for your newborn. It features an ultra-compact 3D telescopic fold, and its all-round suspension is easy to handle, even with one hand. The Loola is compatible with the Maxi-Cosi Foldable Carrycot (for a more traditional pram) and can be used with the Maxi-Cosi Pebble Plus, Pebble or Cabriofix.

BUGABOO CAMELEON, €1,199 FOR FULL PACKAGE, TONY KEALYS The Bugaboo Cameleon is one of the original travel systems and still highly regarded by parents for its classic design, excellent durability and thoughtful features like its roomy carrycot. The basic Cameleon consists of a multi-position pushchair, carrycot and raincover, in your choice of coordinating colours, but most stockists offer a package with a Maxi Cosi Cabriofix carseat, Isofix base, adaptors and footmuff.

STOKKE XPLORY V4 TRAVEL SYSTEM WITH IZI GO BY BESAFE AND BASE, €1,392, TONY KEALYS Although it still turns heads with its eye-catching design, Stokke’s Xplory travel system is not just a pretty face. Some of its more useful features include a higher than usual seat, which means you can feel closer to your baby as you travel. The seat is also high enough to be used as a high chair when out and about. Plus it’s easy to maneuver in tight city spaces. Available as part of a full travel system from Tony Kealys for a limited time.

ICANDY STRAWBERRY 2, €654 One of the first brands to produce a travel system that adapts from a single to a double, iCandy has taken its acclaimed Strawberry system and added some improvements for 2015. The seat frame is suitable for both the carrycot and the pushchair and changes by simply popping out the fabrics when required. The unit can also accommodate children up to 25kg. The Strawberry bundle includes chassis, seat unit (frame & fabrics), carrycot fabrics, car seat adaptors, universal raincover and bumper bar.

UPPABABY VISTA, €895 (CAR SEAT NEEDS TO BE BOUGHT SEPARATELY) The UppaBaby Vista’s big selling point is that it can be easily converted into a twin pushchair for twins or siblings – even better, invest in a buggy board and you can accommodate three children on the one system! The Vista travel system includes pushchair, bassinet and carseat adaptors for a Maxi Cosi infant car seat.

QUINNY MOODD, €699 (WITHOUT CAR SEAT) Quinny’s latest release, the Moodd, features an adjustable seat with a totally lie-flat position for newborns. The memory buttons on the side of the seat unit allows you to remove the seat unit and turn it around with one hand. Comes complete with a Baby Nest for newborns, large sun canopy with UV50+ protection, raincover, shopping basket, parasol clip and car seat adaptors. Can be made into a complete travel system with a matching carrycot and Maxi Cosi car seat.

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CAN’T SLEEP

WON’T SLEEP What do you do when your baby just. won’t. sleep? Many consult the experts and their bestsellers, but as LYDIA MONIN found out, sometimes the experts really don’t know best…

he first night home from hospital with our new baby went well. It’s just the next 1,300 that weren’t so great. Our bundle of joy turned out to be a raging insomniac. Maybe it’s because she was born on October 30th, aka Mischief Night and Devil’s Night. Maybe she just didn’t fancy sleeping. She’d occasionally give it a go, as long as she wasn’t doing it anywhere near a mattress. We tried to look on the bright side. Our daughter probably wouldn’t get flat-head syndrome, a problem since the early nineties when parents were told babies should sleep on their backs for safety. And we did have some successes. Once when she was six weeks old she lay in a rocking bassinet looking at a mobile for 30 minutes without crying – 29 minutes and 45 seconds longer than her previous best. At the same age she slept for a record-breaking two hours in a pop-up travel cot on an antique billiard table. At 12 months she slept through the night for the first time – although unusually I’d given her pain relief for teething and worried the medicine might have sedated her. When she was two she managed a few weeks of consecutive sleep-throughs listening all night to alternating tracks by Aunty Bea (a Maori teacher and entertainer from New Zealand) and Johnny Cash on an old iPod in her bedroom. But these successes were short-lived. My plan was to work out motherhood as I went along. The midwives at my hospital antenatal classes told us to feed on demand, sleep when the baby sleeps and not to worry too much about things like recognising when our baby was sick, because we’d get to know our own babies very well, very quickly. I didn’t read any baby books. But it wasn’t long before I was struggling to cope with a sleepless baby who wanted to be held around the clock and wouldn’t even accept being attached to me via another meticulously researched piece of baby kit, the sling. I was an exhausted first-time mother who was barely sleeping. I was the perfect target for the lucrative parenting book industry.

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Consulting the experts The titles of parenting books suggest all your problems can be solved for the price of a paperback. If one book doesn’t work, there’s always another book to buy and another method to try – and the comparative merits of these experts are endlessly debated at baby groups, play-dates, coffee mornings and online. When our daughter was six weeks old, I was given Tracey Hogg’s bestseller, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. The acronym for Hogg’s suggested daily routine drew me instantly into the book. It’s EASY: Eating, Activity, Sleeping, You. EASY seemed more flexible than the strict routines of bestselling but polarising author Gina Ford.

“Those hospital midwives were right about one thing: the person who really understands your baby is you.” The Baby Whisperer suggests the Pick Up/ Put Down method for aiding sleeping, which lies somewhere in the middle of the crying spectrum between letting your baby cry themselves to sleep and not letting them cry at all. Pick Up/Put Down is crying with cuddles: pick up your crying baby but put them back down as soon as they are calm. Fewer and fewer pick-ups should be needed each night until they’re falling asleep on their own. My husband took on the challenge, but as the nights passed and hundreds of pick ups continued unabated, it became clear either we were doing something wrong or the Baby Whisperer method wasn’t working for our child. So we continued feeding, rocking, pushing, bouncing and hugging our baby into fitful sleep and fell into what Hogg calls the ‘accidental parenting trap’ and ‘bad habits’.

“Keep in mind also that at this point,’ she warns on page 262, “sleep problems are infinitely more manageable than if you let them slide into toddlerhood. In fact, even if your baby hasn’t reached his first birthday, it might be a good idea to read the next chapter and see what you’re in for if you don’t resolve your child’s sleep problems now.”

Onto the next Too scared to read the next chapter I searched for a different kind of approach. Elizabeth Pantley’s The No-Cry Sleep Solution joined the bookshelf. Pantley has some good ideas, like using sleep logs, trying to get your baby attached to a ‘lovey’ for comfort, gradually using the buggy less and the cot more. But nothing worked and disheartenment had already turned to depression by page 65: “You are very lucky to be reading this book now. The things that you do during the first few months will set a pattern for the next year or two or more.” I then tried leaving her to cry it out, but heard another one of the experts I had consulted, Penelope Leach, saying that letting babies cry themselves to sleep could be ‘toxic’ to their brains.

Progress At about six months, our daughter learnt the all-important skill of falling asleep by herself. Everything I’d read suggested “self-settling” was the key to solving sleep problems. But things didn’t get much better. Naps were a struggle and a typical night would involve problems settling, a wake-up 20 minutes after she’d finally fallen asleep and several more wake-ups throughout the night – some of these lasting as long as two or three hours. So I pored over the books’ troubleshooting sections. Was she too hot? Too cold? Uncomfortable? Hungry? Thirsty? Undertired? Overtired? Under-stimulated? Over-stimulated? Having nightmares? Teething? Sick? Did she have too little exercise? Too much? Did she have separation anxiety? Was her bedroom too light? Too dark? Was the bedtime routine too

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short? Too long? We became obsessed with sleep. If our baby didn’t sleep we analysed that for hours. If she did sleep, we analysed that for hours. Any natural mothering instinct had been smothered under a stack of best-selling parenting manuals. In its place were confusion, guilt, inadequacy and stress. So we let the books gather dust on the shelf and hoped she would eventually grow into a good sleeper. In the meantime we came up with our own way of doing things. There was the No-Creak Solution. We both worked out the best route through the hallway of our apartment to get past our daughter’s bedroom to ours while avoiding the creakiest bits of the floor. Then there was the No-Squeak Solution. I oiled all the squeaky door hinges within earshot of our daughter’s room. My mother came to visit and invented the Fitness Ball Plus Pillow Method. The Fitness Ball Method is quite well known: parent cradles baby in arms, sits on ball and bounces until baby is asleep. The Fitness Ball Plus Pillow Method varies slightly: parent cradles baby ly-

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ing on pillow in arms, sits on ball and bounces until baby is asleep. But we ran into problems when it came to removing the pillow when putting the sleeping baby into the cot. The arrival of a second baby when our daughter was three years old caused her to get even worse. Some nights she woke every 20 minutes. But it was only then that I finally accepted our firstborn’s sleep problem wasn’t a result of bad parenting. Babies are just different. Our second baby isn’t the world’s best sleeper but she’s pretty good. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the worst and -55 being her big sister) she’s probably a 6 or 7. The turning point came when we took our insomniac to a land where she could sleep all day and play all night. She’d already travelled a fair bit with mixed results on the sleep front. But a five-week trip to New Zealand when she was three and a half seemed to be the right trip at the right age. She had a host of new experiences, grew more independent and adjusted surprisingly well to the 13-hour time difference and the summer heat. She slept pretty

well out there and within a couple of months of our return to Ireland she was consistently settling happily and sleeping through the night. Perhaps she was always going to come right at three and a half. We’ll never know. What we do know is that we were never going to find the answers in a book. Those hospital midwives were right about one thing: the person who really understands your baby is you.

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54 DEVELOPMENT

TIME FOR

BIG BED Moving your toddler from a cot to a bed is an important milestone. SIMONE KENNY GLENNON offers advice for a smooth transition as well as practical tips on everything from safety to bed buying.

here are lots of transitions that your toddler will make over the next few months. From small milestones (byebye onesies; hello big boy/girl pyjamas) to the biggies: moving from a cot to bed. According to experts, it can happen anywhere from 18 months to three and a half, though most do so around the age of two. When you decide to introduce this milestone depends on several things. Perhaps your little one has outgrown their cot or has started to climb out of it. Maybe you’re potty training and your toddler needs to access the toilet at night, or maybe you have a new baby on the way. If you’re expecting another baby then it’s recommended that you either make the move from cot to bed at least six to eight weeks before, or three to four months after the new arrival. The former will give your toddler enough time to settle in before the new arrival ‘takes

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over’ their cot, while the latter allows them to adjust to the new baby (who’ll likely be in a Moses basket for a few months anyway). Each child is different but anecdotal evidence suggests that your firstborn may find adapting to a new bed more challenging. Additional siblings like the idea of graduating to a ‘big’ bed (so they can be just like their big brother/sister), which makes their transition that bit easier. If your child is also going through other major milestones (like being potty trained, starting playschool or adjusting to a new baby) then moving from a cot to a bed will understandably be a bit trickier. Talking to your toddler in the weeks leading up to the move is important preparation, explaining what it will be like and emphasising how exciting their new bed will be and how they no longer need a cot. Once they are familiar with the idea of a bed then you can start taking some practical steps

that involve your toddler, like choosing the bed (after you’ve done the ground work and narrowed them down) and bedding. If you already have a cot bed then that’s one buy to tick off your list. If not you’ll need to decide on whether to opt for a children’s bed or a standard single bed. A child’s bed is smaller so will be easier for your toddler to get in and out of, as well as cheaper, and should last until your child is around six. If space is an issue then a child’s bed is more practical too. These can range in price from 50 to upwards of 300 for themed beds. (Remember to factor in the additional cost of a mattress too.) A single bed will obviously last a lot longer and could prove more comfortable but your toddler will probably need a step to get in and out of it. When it comes to a mattress and bedding, paediatric sleep consultant Lucy Wolfe says they’re definitely worth investing in. “I gener-

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55 DEVELOPMENT ally advise parents to invest well in their child’s bedding and mattress. We all sleep better with cool, comfortable surroundings. The mattress should be firm and made from natural materials, and the bedding should be ideally cotton.” Lucy also recommends a cot duvet for the big move. “It helps to continue using the same cot bedding at the start, which may at this stage (ideally around 30 months plus) be a small cot duvet. It can be more manageable for them initially and you want them to be able to pull the covers up themselves and this can help.” If you decide to use a single duvet then a 10.5 tog may be best, advises Lucy. A major adjustment for both you and your toddler to contend with is that they are no longer contained at sleeptime and free to get out of bed as they please, so bedtimes and early mornings will inevitably present some childwandering challenges. You’ll no doubt have childproofed their room already, but now is a good time to re-evaluate any dangers (such as lamp/blind cords, climbable furniture and window guards) and ensure the floor is clear of anything they can trip over or bump into in the dark. It’s recommended that on the first day in their new bed that you stick to their bedtime routine as normal (and try to ensure they’ve had an active day so that they’re particularly tired!). Let them help to make their new bed too. This is a good way of gaging how your toddler is taking to the idea of her new big bed. If they seem excited and don’t give much thought to their cot then that’s a good sign and you can probably dismantle it. However, if your little one is unenthusiastic

then, if space allows, consider keeping both the cot and bed in the room for a few days. This will provide some more time for your toddler to adjust before actually sleeping in it. In the meantime, playing and reading stories in their new bed will help your child get comfortable and familiar. Your toddler will inevitably get up at bedtime or during the night. If this happens just lead them back to bed, say goodnight and leave the room with minimal fuss or interaction. Try not to engage in conversation or spend too long in the room – this way your toddler will quickly tire of getting up after a few nights. It’s important to stay calm (easier said than done, we know) – getting angry will only keep your toddler awake for longer as a result of a rush of adrenalin brought on by fear or excitement. When it comes to early morning, this can be even more frustrating, as well as dangerous, as your toddler is less likely to be tired and may want to explore the house at an ungodly hour. Closing their bedroom door and leaving out some of their favourite toys to keep them occupied might help contain them for a short time. However, if they can open their door then consider using a safety gate in the doorway or reinstalling a stair gate at the top of the stairs and closing/locking bathroom doors etc. so they can’t access anywhere unsafe. Installing a landing nightlight is also worthwhile. Depending on what time they rise, you can either choose to bring them into bed with you for a family snuggle or decide to start the day that bit earlier. If your child rises particularly early then try using a sleep training clock to help teach them night and morning.

TOP PICKS TO MAKE SLEEPTIME FUN!

If you’ve decided to go straight to

And of course, it doesn’t have to be

a single bed, letting them choose

branded to be super-cool in your

their own duvet cover can get

children’s eyes!

them excited about sleeptime.

TIPS FOR A SMOOTH TRANSITION ✹ Place the bed in the same position as the cot ✹ If your child is attached to their bedding, use some of their cot bedding on their new bed ✹ Get your toddler involved in choosing the new bed and bedding ✹ Help your toddler to get used to the idea by showing them a young friend or relative’s ‘big bed’

BEDRAILS – A NECESSITY?

Using a bedrail is entirely your choice but, according to the authors of Baby to Toddler Month by Month, Simone Cave and Dr Caroline Fertleman, they are unnecessary. They recommend using a rolled up towel along the edge of the bed under the sheet and putting a few extra pillows on the floor for the first few weeks to break their fall if they do manage to slip off the bed. However, if you would prefer to use a bedrail or inflatable bed guards then remember to take them down once your toddler can climb in and out of bed, as they can often remain up needlessly for long periods.

Opting for a toddler bed?

Try a sleep trainer to keep

Going for their favourite

your child in bed until it’s

character might help.

time to get up.

If you decide to go for a bed guard, go for a brand you can trust

Disney Cinderella duvet set, €34.99

MI April_May 2015_Moving to bed.indd 55

Rainbow Road bedding set with StayNEW™, €47.50, M&S

Mothercare Safest Start Bed Guard (in blue or pink), €34.99

Mickey Mouse toddler bed, €135, Littlewoods Ireland

Gro Clock Children’s Alarm Clock, £19.99, www.amazon. co.uk

23/03/2015 15:38

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23/03/2015 23/03/2015 17:23 12:27

57 HEALTH

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT…

MENINGITIS

Anyone can contract meningitis, but children and adolescents are most at risk. Knowing the signs and symptoms, and seeking medical help immediately, can be lifesaving, so make sure you’re up to speed today.

What is meningitis?

Meningitis is caused by an inflammation of the lining around the spinal cord and the brain that can be caused by both bacteria and viruses. Bacterial meningitis is quite uncommon, but is very serious and requires urgent medical attention and an intense course of antibiotics. Viral meningitis is a less serious version of the condition, but cannot be helped by antibiotics. To determine between the two, hospital tests are required. A condition closely related to bacterial meningitis is septicaemia, which is a type of blood poisoning.

What are the symptoms of meningitis? If a person begins to show symptoms of meningitis, they will become very ill quickly, and will require urgent medical attention. However, be aware that they may not show all of the symptoms at once, but will still require attention. The symptoms of meningitis in children are fever, with possibly cold hands or feet, refusing feeds or vomiting, high-pitched moaning, crying or whimpering, dislike of being held, neck retraction paired with arching of the back, a blank and staring expression, difficulty to wake and a pale or blotchy appearance. A rash may also occur with some forms of meningitis. You can test whether a rash is caused by meningitis by doing the Tumbler Test. If a glass tumbler is pressed firmly against a rash and the marks will not fade, seek medical attention immediately. Time is everything when it comes to meningitis, so it’s important to get help quickly.

How do you contract meningitis?

At any time, a number of people in a population could be carrying the bacteria that causes bacterial meningitis or septicaemia. Many people would carry the bacteria in the back of the nose or the throat, without any adverse affects for the carrier. However, some people’s immune system may not be able to ward off the bacteria and they pass into the blood stream. Viral meningitis is caused by groups of viruses, which includes the mumps virus. Babies and toddlers are at a heightened risk of developing meningitis as their immune systems are not yet fully developed.

How can you prevent it? There is currently no vaccine that can protect you from all forms of meningitis, but vaccines exist that can protect again some strains. The pneumococcal meningiti A vaccine is available to protect against Group C Meningococcal Disease. This vaccine is included in the Primary Childhood Immunisation Programme and is offered to all infants. The vaccine is available free of charge to all up to the age of 23 years of age. As there is no vaccine to protect against all types of meningitis it is still very important to be aware of, and alert to, the symptoms and signs of meningitis.

MI April_May 2014_All you need to know.indd 57

What are the after-effects of contracting meningitis? Recovering from meningitis can be a long and arduous process. Fortunately, however, many of the after-effects improve and disappear over time. Some after-effects include memory loss, lack of concentration, clumsiness, residual headaches, deafness, learning difficulties, epilepsy, weakness, speech problems or changes in sight. Most people recover with no after-effects and the likelihood of developing permanent aftereffects depends on the type and severity of the illness.

World Meningitis Day is on April 24th. ACT for Meningitis is an Irish charity that offers a range of free support services to those affected by meningitis while continuing to raise awareness of the disease. For more information, log on to www.actformeningitis.ie

23/03/2015 15:39

58 FAMILY LIFE

Capturing

HAPPINESS More and more parents are opting for professionals to capture the beauty of their newborn baby â&#x20AC;&#x201C; but how do you find the right photographer at the right price?

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23/03/2015 17:28

PHOTO: PHOTOS BY JEN

FAMILY LIFE

PHOTO: PHOTOS BY JEN

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nyone who has ever been in contact with a new baby knows that the glorious squishiness of your tiny little newborn lasts for a very short time indeed. In a few short weeks, your little baby will have transformed into a sturdier thing, full of smiles and beginning to show a little attitude too! All too soon, you forget how tiny they once were. As a society, we’re capturing family life on film more than ever, thanks to camera phones and digital technology. But for family photographs you want to keep forever, you can’t beat the skill of a professional – and now savvy parents are scheduling in a photoshoot during the heady first days of parenthood to capture their beautiful little ones while they’re in that gorgeous newborn stages. Jenny McCarthy, of Photos By Jen, says that newborn photography now takes up a lot of her time. “I am getting busier and busier with newborns. In fact, I was only saying the other day that there must be a baby boom at the moment with the amount coming in the door! I’d probably shoot about three or four newborns a

week. For me [as a wedding photographer], a lot of my couples come back to me, because it’s the next step for them. I’m delighted because I love doing them.”

Making the choice Choosing the right photographer for your newborn shoot is essential, and clearly you need to be doing your research when you are pregnant. “There’s definitely an art to it; you need to be able to handle a newborn baby and you need to be very confident with them,” says Jenny, who has five children between her and her husband, Martin King. “If you have new parents coming into your studio with their newborn baby, if you’re all fingers and thumbs with the baby, they won’t be confident in you. A lot of newborns come in during their first two weeks, so you need a relaxed atmosphere and a very warm studio. I would always put two hours aside for a newborn shoot, because the baby inevitably will need to be fed during the shoot, especially breastfed babies.” The timing of the shoot is vital too. “If you want real newborn pictures, you’re talking the

23/03/2015 17:29

60 FAMILY LIFE

CHOOSING THE RIGHT PHOTOGRAPHER

PHOTO: PHOTOS BY JEN

PHOTO: JULES M PHOTOGRAPHY

JULES FURLONG, A South Dublin photographer who specialises in maternity, newborn, child and wedding photography, gives us her top tips on finding the right photographer for you. One of the most important things when searching for your photographer is finding one whose style you absolutely love. When searching try narrow down your list to maybe five or less of your favourites.

first two weeks,” Jenny explains. “That’s to get them when they’re still in that fetal, ‘scrunched up’ position – and when someone is looking for newborn shots that’s generally what they’re looking for. But I had someone in on Saturday who said they had a section and didn’t feel up to coming in until the baby was six weeks old – the limbs are getting bigger and you wouldn’t be able to get them into the positions you would have been able to when they were very new, but they’re at a different stage and still amazing to photograph. So what I say to people who think they’ve left it too late, no you haven’t, they’re still your newborns.”

Cost As well as finding the right photographer, the cost is also a vital issue to consider. Prices vary wildly from photographer to photographer, so it’s essential to shop around and find someone who will produce what you want at a price you are willing to pay. Remember that the cheapest option mightn’t be the best choice. Special packages might be a good option too. “I do a bump to baby package,” says Jenny. “Mum comes in at around 34 weeks pregnant for her bump shot, and then between 10 days and two weeks of giving birth, she’d come in for the newborn shoot. We would sit down and go through the pictures, and they get a beautiful 20-page linen album, and that’s all for €450.” The vital point to remember is to keep things simple, especially if this is your first. “For a newborn shoot, it’s €80 for the shoot itself and all the retouching of the pictures for viewing, and then it’s up to them,” explains Jenny. “Everything is framed or finished, I don’t do prints. So they might be looking at a 10x8 framed piece for €175, or a storyboard frame with three pictures from the shoot for €265. It’s really up to them. Because babies grow so fast, I would say to parents to keep it simple and small, and think ahead to No.2.”

“If you want real newborn pictures, you’re talking the first two weeks. That’s to get them when they’re still in that fetal, ‘scrunched up’ position” CONTACT: WWW.PHOTOSBYJEN.IE

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In this digital world we tend to have thousands of beautiful images saved on a disc in our top drawer, never to be seen again. Try to decide what you want from your session beforehand. Think about what kind of framed artwork you would like in your home. It’s a wonderful thing to have portraits from your newborn or child’s first years professionally framed and presented to you. You will have them to cherish for a very long time! Make sure you have a consultation with the photographer before the shoot, so they are clear about what you want and expect from the shoot. You should be confident that they can deliver. Last but not least, have fun, enjoy the experience, your children will too.

Does the photographer have experience, were they referred to you, do they have great testimonials, what have their clients said? Don’t let your choice be dictated by the price. You want these portraits to adorn your home for a long time! Price will always be a factor when choosing your photographer, but it should not be the most important part of your decision. You should expect to pay anything from €300 - €2000 plus depending on what type of session and product packages you decide to go for. If your search is for a newborn photographer, what are you looking for, lifestyle or posed, do you want your siblings or yourself and partner in the shots? Does your photographer have the experience and knowledge to safely photograph you baby? Think about the location for your session, for instance, if you are getting newborn portraits, would you prefer having it in your own home? This makes for a very peaceful and relaxing session, remember, the sleepier the baby, the more poses and wider range of shots for the parents.

Does the photographer take time to get to know you and your family on some level prior to your shoot? Do they listen to your likes or dislikes and understand what you are looking for? Will they go the extra mile to achieve it? Have a look through the photographer’s online portfolio and make sure that the style that you are seeing matches with the style that you are looking for. And is the work consistent?

CONTACT: WWW.JULESMPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

23/03/2015 17:29

61 HEALTH

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING? EXPERTS SAY TOO MUCH SUGAR CAN LEAD TO: ✹ Tooth decay ✹ Hyperactive behaviour ✹ Obesity ✹ Diabetes ✹ Skin problems ✹ Sleep disturbances

SWEET

TEMPTATION

ith obesity looking increasingly like an epidemic about to explode, it’s only right that we should be concerned about what our little ones eat. Getting them into healthy habits from the outset can be a real gift in these times of everavailable junk food and sweet foods. Nutrition experts agree that most adults and children in Ireland today eat too much sugar. Our addiction to sugar is adding up to serious health consequences for families, and experts are saying it should be reined in.

MI April_May 2015_Sugar.indd 61

Rupert Allen, Lead Dietician at The Lister Hospital (http://www.thelisterhospital.com/) is clear about the risks: “High-sugar foods can cause tooth decay in children, especially if consumed regularly as a snack in between mealtimes. These foods containing refined sugar also tend to be high in calories and therefore can contribute to heart disease, obesity and diabetes. What’s more, if your child is getting too much of a percentage of their daily calories from sugar, they’re likely to be missing out on other healthier foods, and therefore going short of some all-important nutrients.”

Sugar gets a bad press these days, for children as well as adults. But what are really the facts behind this foodstuff that most of our tots adore? PHOEBE DOYLE finds out.

23/03/2015 15:45

62 HEALTH

SUGAR SWAP ORANGE JUICE

Watered down 50:50 juice or homemade smoothie

BISCUITS

Toasted bagel with butter

But not all sugars are equal. Kerry-based nutritionist Heidi Grimwood (www.heidigrimwood.com) explains the difference between refined and natural sugars: “Refined sugar is added sugar, such as that found in confectionary, cereals and even many savoury products such as ready meals. Natural sugar is naturally occurring sugar like in fruit and honey.” Whilst refined sugar is the stuff we should be most determined to avoid, too much natural sugar can also lead to teeth issues.

What about fruit juice? TOMATO SAUCE

SWEETS

Tomato salsa, homemade if possible Nuts (if old enough) or dried fruit (but limit the amount)

CAKE

Homemade sugar free fruit muffins

FIZZY DRINKS

Sparkling water with slices of lemon and lime

JAM ON TOAST

Mashed banana on toast

Know what you are eating Nutrition labels often tell you how much sugar a food contains. You can compare labels and choose foods that are lower in sugar. Look for the “Carbohydrates (of which sugars)” figure in the nutrition label. ✹ high – over 22.5g of total sugars per 100g ✹ low – 5g of total sugars or less per 100g The advice on how much sugar we should allow our little ones varies enormously depending on who you ask. A general consensus, though, is that preschoolers with a daily calorie intake of 1,200 to 1,400 calories shouldn’t consume any more than 170 calories, or about 4 teaspoons, of added sugar a day – and that’s a maximum. A recent American study found some children, at 1-3 years of age, were regularly consuming on average 12 teaspoons of added sugar a day!

MI April_May 2015_Sugar.indd 62

Once thought of as a health food, fruit juices have been the subject of intense scrutiny and criticism in more recent years. Some even claim that many of the brands that are specifically aimed at children, for example labelled ‘lunchbox friendly’, may be as bad for them as consuming fizzy drinks. An analysis of over 200 juices, smoothies and fruit drinks by the health group Action on Sugar, revealed more than a quarter of the beverages tested contained at least as much sugar as a glass of Coca-Cola, with up to six teaspoons per 250ml glass. The danger is, of course, is that while we might know that so-

than relying on juice. Rupert says: “Fresh fruit is generally more beneficial as the sugar is contained within the fruit structure, and is slower to be absorbed. Fresh fruit will contain plenty of fibre too, which has many health benefits for youngsters. Fruit will fill them up more than fruit juice and may reduce their tendency to snack on other highsugar/high-fat foods.”

Dealing with a sugar addict If you have a child with a sweet tooth, first of all it’s important not to be too hard on yourself. Indeed you’d be hard-pressed to find a child who doesn’t love sugary foods. Many researchers believe that Mother Nature predisposes babies to sweet tastes in order to make the flavour of breast milk more appealing, thus encouraging survival. But the problem is, the amount of sugar our children consume goes far beyond these natural sugars found in nature and the occasional treat. “My advice is simple – don’t have too many sugary snacks in the house,” says Heidi. “Allow them to have a treat when they are out or on special occasions but to have sugary snacks on offer in the house is too tempting for everyone. Banish them from

“Allow them to have a treat when they are out or on special occasions, but to have sugary snacks on offer in the house is too tempting for everyone. Banish them from the house and adults and kids alike will reap the rewards.” das are unhealthy and limit our intake, many of us think that juices are healthy enough to drink all day. As a parent herself, Heidi is clear on her view: “Unless you have squeezed it fresh yourself try to avoid fruit juice altogether if possible. You should be encouraging your kids to drink water, with maybe a fresh slice of orange or lemon in it. There are not only generally lots of additives and chemicals in juice drinks, but sometimes even artificial sweeteners, which, in my opinion, are even worse for you.” “If your child loves the taste, making your own fruit juice is definitely worth the effort,” Rupert continues. “Put simply, it’s much better for you in every aspect. It will contain plenty of pulp and flesh and therefore will be higher in fibre. You can also guarantee what and how much fruit is in the drink and therefore be assured there is no added sugar.” The key also seems to be to get your child into a habit of being content with fruit as a refreshing, thirst-quenching snack, rather

the house and adults and kids alike will reap the rewards. Remember you are in charge of your child. If they are really hungry they will eat healthier options.” Of course there are times when to make our young children go without refined sugar altogether can prove extremely difficult. For instance, if they’re at a birthday party, or if a well-meaning elderly relative is insistent they have a “little treat”, saying “no” can sometimes be construed as rude – and, of course, this kind of occasional treat won’t really do them an awful lot of harm. Heidi says the key is in taking as balanced approach as possible to your tot’s diet: “Try to balance out their snacks with small amounts of protein with fruit or veg. Giving them a diverse mix really is important, as too much of anything is not good. Protein satisfies the appetite and also helps to balance the blood sugar levels, so try and think outside the box. Add colour and flavour to their diet, and hopefully you’ll be creating a great, healthy eater of the future.”

23/03/2015 15:45

WATCH THEM GROW!

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23/03/2015 23/03/2015 17:25 14:06

65 ANNABEL KARMEL RECIPES

KIDS IN THE

KITCHEN There are lots of ways to feed your children’s curiosity – starting in the kitchen! Teaching tots how to cook is a fantastic way to instil a love of good and homemade food. So dust off those aprons, dig out the wooden spoons and get your mini bakers inspired!

S ee O v er GOLDFISH CUPCAKES

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23/03/2015 15:47

66 ANNABEL KARMEL RECIPES

F rom p ag e 6 5 Goldfish Cupcakes Preparation: 10 minutes Cooking: 22 minutes Makes: 10 cupcakes ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

125g butter, at room temperature 125g golden caster sugar 110g self-raising flour 2 ½ tablespoons cocoa powder 2 eggs, lightly beaten 1 teaspoon orange zest, grated 50g plain chocolate chips

TO DECORATE: ✹ 5 tablespoons ready-made buttercream icing ✹ Cheerios ✹ Chocolate buttons ✹ M&Ms (chocolate) ✹ Tube white chocolate writing icing ✹ Jelly beans ✹ Giant chocolate buttons ✹ White chocolate buttons ✹ Marshmallows ✹ Hundreds and thousands ✹ Heart-shaped chocolates

Pre-heat the oven to 180°C/350°F. Beat together the butter and sugar until the mixture is fluffy and smooth. Sift together the flour and cocoa powder in a separate bowl. Add the eggs to the creamed butter mixture, a little at a time, adding a tablespoon of the flour mixture with the second egg. Mix in the orange zest and the remaining flour and cocoa, until blended. Finally, stir in the chocolate pieces. Line a large muffin tray with 10 paper cases and fill each one until two-thirds full. Bake the muffins for 20–22 minutes. Allow to cool for a few minutes, then remove the muffins and place on a wire cooling rack. When the cupcakes are cool, spread a little buttercream over each of the cupcakes and then decorate them to look like goldfish.

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Chocolate and Raisin Oatmeal Cookies Preparaion: 5 minutes Cooking: 12 minutes Makes: 24 cookies ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

110g butter, softened 115g dark brown sugar 1 egg 150g porridge oats 75g self-raising flour 75g raisins A pinch of salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 100g plain chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 200°C/400°F/ Gas 6. Line two large baking sheets with non-stick paper. Cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Beat in the egg with a whisk. Add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Shape the mixture into 24 balls and place on the prepared baking sheets, leaving plenty of space between the balls. Bake for 12 minutes, until lightly golden, but soft in the middle.

Animal Cookies Preparation: 20 minutes (plus 2 hours for chilling) Cooking: 10 minutes Makes: 30 biscuits ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

45g butter, softened 70g soft light brown sugar 4 tbsp golden syrup 1 large egg yolk 170g plain flour 2 tsp ground ginger 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda 1/4 tsp salt

Beat the butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy, then beat in the golden syrup and egg yolk until just combined. Sift over the flour, ginger, bicarbonate of soda, and salt, and stir in with a wooden spoon to form a dough. Put the dough on a piece of cling film and pat into a disc about 1cm (1/2 inch) thick. Wrap up and refrigerate for 1–2 hours until firm. Preheat the oven to 180°C (160°C fan), Gas 4. Roll out the dough between two pieces of baking parchment until about 3mm (1/8 inch) thick. Cut out shapes that are about 4cm (1 and a half inches) in diameter, and use a palette knife to transfer them to baking trays lined with parchment. If the dough becomes too soft, then lift it, still on the parchment, on to a baking tray and pop in the freezer for 5–10 minutes to firm up. Bake the biscuits for about 9 minutes until puffed and just turning golden around the edges. For crisper biscuits, bake for a further 2 minutes. Allow the biscuits to cool on the baking tray for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Store in an airtight tin.

23/03/2015 15:48

67 ANNABEL KARMEL RECIPES

Mini Mouse Cupcakes Preparation: 10 minutes Cooking: 15 minutes Makes: 24 mini cakes

✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

150g self-raising flour 2 tablespoons cocoa powder 125g butter 125g caster sugar 2 eggs, lightly beaten 75g orange milk chocolate, chopped

TO DECORATE: ✹ Red writing icing ✹ Chocolate buttons ✹ Mini Smarties ✹ Jelly beans

Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/ Gas 4. Line a mini-muffin tray with 24 silicone muffin cases. Sift the flour and cocoa powder into a bowl, and add

MI April_May 2015_Karmel.indd 67

the butter, sugar and eggs. Beat using an electric hand whisk or freestanding mixer, until combined. Stir in the chopped chocolate. Spoon the mixture into the muffin cases – each one should be about two thirds full. Bake for 12–15 minutes, or until a cocktail stick inserted into the centre comes out clean. Allow to cool for a few minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Using the writing icing as glue, decorate the muffins with chocolate buttons for ears, mini Smarties for eyes and jelly beans for noses.

For more recipe inspiration download Annabel’s Essential Guide to Feeding Your Baby & Toddler app. Access more than 200 delicious recipes, as well as a host of features to keep your family on track and enjoying meal times. Download the new version from the App Store now or visit www.annabelkarmel.com

23/03/2015 15:48

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23/03/2015 23/03/2015 17:26 12:52

69 LIFE AFTER BABY

DADS GETTING DOWN

& Dirty So according to a survey conducted for the Irish Times, 9 per cent of dads never change nappies. Ah lads. We all know that changing nappies is not the most wonderful job as a parent (and can be pretty head-scratching too, turn back to p14 for our guide to the wonderful world of baby poop), but it has to be done. And if you have a partner who is juggling work and mummyhood (see p74), it’s only fair that you pitch in on all aspects of parenthood, not just the fun stuff. So if you’re a mammy reading this whose partner is one of this mysterious 9 per cent, we suggest two things: 1) strike action, and 2) a gentle reminder that Father’s Day is coming and if they want it to be acknowledged AT ALL, they need to shape up. Fast!

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23/03/2015 16:31

70 BEAUTY & STYLE

CLEAN &

ccording to a survey conducted by the International Dermal Institute, women spend on average less than 20 seconds washing their skin a day, and many only splash with water. But our skin needs a bit more love and care than this if you want to avoid blackheads, clogged pores, spots and dullness. Over the course of a busy day, our skin attracts all types of grime, bacteria and dirt, our natural oil levels build and of course there’s the small matter of makeup to be removed! But cleansing needn’t be a complicated matter involving a load of products. Sally Penford, the educational manager at the International Dermal Institute, knows exactly how tricky it is to find the time: “Having two-year-old twins my routine has to be efficient! I use a multi-functional micro-exfoliant in the shower that washes, sloughs and leaves my skin glowing.” According to Sally, the key is to choose the right products for your skin. “A cleanser needs to match your skin type. If you have oily skin you need a cleanser with a stronger surfactant (degreasing agent) and one that does not strip the skin of oils like soap or products containing S.D. alcohol. Look for a clay-based cleanser or a soap-free gel facial wash. If you have dry skin, you will need to use a milder cleanser with less surfactant. They often come in the form of a milky, creamy cleanser. For a combination skin the cleanser sits in the middle of the cleansing spectrum (regarding surfactant) and can be a light milky cleanser or a gel facial wash. If you experience sensitivity, choose a cleanser that’s free from artificial colours and fragrance with a calming and soothing ingredient base.” Technique, then, is key, says Sally. “Firstly ensure you have your hair back from the perimeters of your face so you can get to the often neglected hair line and around the ears. Apply the correct amount of product (check product instructions) to the skin with clean hands. Then with an exfoliating facial brush or your fingers work the cleanser into your skin in light circular motions from top to bottom or vice versa. Pay special attention to the areas where you have congestion such as the nose, forehead, neck or chin. It should take about a minute to cleanse your skin thoroughly. To remove your cleanser, use tepid water and splash away all traces of cleanser; using a facial cloth will also ensure you get every last bit.” Sally is also a fan of the “double-cleanse” – using an oil-based cleanser to remove makeup and surface grime, and then your chosen cleanser to really “clean” the skin. And, of course, if you wear eye makeup, it’s vital to use a specific eye makeup remover so you’re not pulling and dragging at the delicate skin around the eyes.

CLEAR

Too knackered to clean your face at the end of the day? You’re not alone. But a good cleansing routine need only take a minute if you know what’s right for your skin.

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71 BEAUTY & STYLE

OIL CLEANSERS Oils are fabulous for removing makeup and oily debris on the skin. Look for a water-soluble, oil-based cleanser containing a lightweight oil like olive and apricot kernal. Apply to dry skin, add a little water to lather and then rinse with water. Follow with a cleanser that’s specific to your skin type. WE LOVE: L’Occitane Immortelle Oil Make-up Remover, €26

DRY SKIN Some people with dry skin are nervous of cleansers because they think they might dry out their skin, but going for a cleansing specifically targeted at dry skin will help. Look for a milk or a cream formula that will gently remove impurities without drying the skin. WE LOVE: Clarins Extra Comfort Anti-Pollution Cleansing Cream, €30

OILY SKIN Go for a clay-based formula to absorb excess oil and help unclog pores. Alternatively look for an oil-free formula that’s gentle, and if your skin is sensitive, fragrance free. Avoid anything too harsh or drying as this could worsen the problem. WE LOVE: Dermalogica Dermal Clay Cleanser, €35.20

SENSITIVE SKIN Out of all skin types, it’s especially important for those with sensitive skin to choose their cleanser carefully. Look for natural ingredients that gently cleanse without stripping or irritating your skin, and avoid foaming products or cleansers that contains alcohol or harsh chemicals. WE LOVE: La Roche-Posay Cicaplast Wash B5, €8

COMBINATION SKIN

Muslin cloth, The Body Shop, €3.90

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Dermalogica’s Daily Microfoliant, €52.50

Combination skin is characterised by normal or dry skin with oily patches, usually around the t-zone. They key to choosing the right cleanser for you is to concentrate on what your skin needs most at a certain time. In general, however, go for a gentle formula that won’t strip the dry areas but isn’t heavy enough to clog the oily parts. WE LOVE: Eucerin DermatoCLEAN Cleansing Gel, €11.99

ON OUR STYLE RADAR IN APRIL/MAY Our four favourite must-buys this issue

LIDL’S SPRING/SUMMER FASHION COLLECTION This isn’t a blink-andyou’ll-miss-it product drop at one of our favourite discount supermarkets. Lidl instead has staggered the product releases so there’s always something new in-store to tempt you when you’re doing the weekly shop. CLARINS’ NEW RANGE FOR MEN Now your cleansing routine is sorted, time to turn to your partner’s skincare regime. Clarins has just launched a new energising men’s duo to fight the signs of fatigue (essential for new dads) and ageing. Revitalising Gel, €42, and Anti-Fatigue Eye Serum, €36.50, uses a combination of bison grass, gymnema and goji berry to recycle and boost skin energy. NYX’S WONDER PENCIL We do love a multi-tasking product – especially if it only costs €5.99. NYX’s Wonder Pencil can be used as a lip liner (to make your lip colour pop), as a concealer, and as an eye liner to brighten tired eyes. Plus it’s available in three shades: light, medium and deep. AUSSIE BODY WASHES Aussie haircare is a bit of a love/hate thing for many people – you either love the range with its distinctive smell or you hate it. Now the popular brand has turned its attentions to the rest of you, and produced a range of four body washes to suit every mood, which leave your skin feeling smooth and smelling delicious. And they’re only €3.99 each.

2 3 4

4 2

WHAT ABOUT EXFOLIATION? Regular exfoliation is essential to remove dead skin cells and encourage your basal layer to produce and bring to the surface new plump and moisture-rich skin cells. There are some exfoliators on the market that can be used every day, such as Dermalogica’s Daily Microfoliant, €52.50, a rice-based powder that can be used in place of a second cleanser. Alternatively, using a facial brush Clarisonic Aria, system like Clarisonic Aria (€199) or even a facial cloth to €199 remove your makeup will keep your skin clear and fresh. Try The Body Shop’s excellent Muslin Cloth, a snip at €3.90. Or, if you prefer, you can use a traditional granular or peeling scrub two to three times a week. Talk to your skincare expert for advice if unsure about what exfoliating treatment to use.

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Printed peplum top, €49.95, Zara

TREND Ray Ban aviator sunglasses, €164, Littlewoods

Emma Manley Sian petal jacket, €495, Arnotts

Leather shopper bag, €85, Next

Red Herring trousers, €45.23, Debenhams

PU shopper, €10, Penneys Leather roman sandals, €59.95, Zara

Autograph mules, €67, Marks & Spencer

M&I

MUM

STYLE

Floral print loose trousers, €49.95, Zara

Trousers have been cut loose this season into cropped, flared and soft swinging shapes. Top tip: choose high-waisted trousers to elongate your legs.

Straw barrel bag, €16, Penneys

Suede front shift dress, €79, Topshop

Ultimate kick flare trousers, €55, Next

Ribbed fitted high neck top, €33, River Island

Victoria Beckham sports shirt, €290, Brown Thomas

Suedette shirt, €54, River Island

Hurdle heeled sandals, €61.48, ASOS

Leather work tote, €133, Accessorize

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Weekend Max Mara Assunta floral trousers, €165, Brown Thomas

Jessy sandals, €120, Dune

Weekend Max Mara Utopia scarf, €60, Brown Thomas Celine cat eye sunglasses, €284, Harvey Nichols

Carie shoes, €105, Dune London

23/03/2015 16:43

74 MUMS & WORK

THE GREAT

JUGGLING ACT Can you really juggle kids, relationship, life and a busy career? Or does something always have to give? PENNY GRAY investigates if ‘having it all’ is really just a myth.

hen the phrase ‘having it all’ came into the common vernacular in the Seventies, it was supposed to be empowering. Having children no longer meant you had to give up your career aspirations – you could have the best of both worlds. But ask any mother in Ireland today if it’s possible to have it all, and you’ll get a whole range of answers, from the vaguely positive (“yes, you can have a career and a family but it takes a lot of work and support,” says Maria, 32) to the frankly angry (“I think phrases like ‘having it all’ put women under immense pressure to try and do everything,” says Laura, 42. “What we need to do is put the supports in place to let women work if they want to, and not judge each other for the choices we make”). The truth is, the high cost of childcare, wage cuts and long hours have pushed a lot of women out of the workplace, either willingly or unwillingly, and for those on a career path, taking a break to have children and to be with them when they’re young can interrupt progression. But what if you love your job and want to keep working? What if you don’t want to stay at home or don’t have the opportunity to cut your hours? Or what if you simply have to keep working? Taking the obvious financial pressures of childcare out of the equation, is it possible to juggle a career and young children? Aileen Gillick, a registered general nurse and business manager at River Medical, has three

MI April_May 2015_Work .indd 74

children – Thomás (3), Anna (2), and Seamus (1) – and says that she did worry before having children about how she’d manage her busy career when she was a mum. “I’m from the country, and a lot of women my age with children work locally, or have a three-day week, or opt to stay at home with the kids. I didn’t know of any people with kids in the local area who did what I do. So yes, I did worry about it. And I still do. I re-evaluate it all the time. I love my job but my children and my family come first. My husband is fantastic and we live in Meath, close to my mum and to my husband’s parents. So there’s great support there. We don’t call on them that often, but knowing there’s someone there who can be with the children in minutes is great.” Aileen even oversaw the opening of the new Belfast River Medical clinic when she was pregnant with Seamus. “We thought we had a building and scheduled to open in 2013, and it fell through the week before I was due to go on maternity leave. I had everything set up so we could open during my absence. I was devastated! It was a lot of work while I was pregnant and it was very hard. But in retrospect, it was the best thing. I was able to go away, have my baby, enjoy him, and then come back and jump into Belfast again.” So clearly, Aileen is one of the lucky few who has been able to juggle both her career and her children – but, she says, it is far from easy and she constantly has to re-evaluate how

family life works, especially when it comes to childcare. “We had a childminder with Thomás, and then continued that with Anna, and my husband was then in a different role where he had more flexibility with picking them up and so on. But when Seamus came along, things changed. We had three to worry about, all at different stages. We found that as Thomás got older, he really wanted to be at home and I didn’t like packing him into the car knowing that. So we decided to try an au pair. I had to be persuaded but we thought we’d try it anyway. We’ve only had one au pair, for nearly two years now, and she’s part of the family. It’s

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75 MUMS & WORK home before the kids get up. I then get to sit and have breakfast with them, get them dressed, and be very much a part of that time of day without being stressed. When they start school, I can then drop them to school before heading into work. And if things like school plays crop up, once they’re in the schedule I won’t miss them. As I said, I love my job but my family comes first. When I sometimes struggle with things, I always remind myself of that fact.” Like every other mum, Aileen did struggle at times about her decision to work, and whether it was the right thing. “After I had Seamus and came back to work, I was very sensitive to people commenting on leaving my kids to go to work. But what I did was look at how to make the time I have with the kids as good as possible. I try to practice mindfulness with the children – when I’m with them, the phone goes away and I concentrate on them and what I’m doing with them. That allows me to enjoy the moment and the time I have with them. I still worry, that will always be there, but I feel happier and more balanced.” Ultimately, it’s about what’s right for you – if you want a career, then you should be able to have one AND have kids. The challenge now is how to move forward as a society to give parents (both fathers and mothers) the supports and opportunities to parent and work – flexible working conditions, decent childcare at an affordable price and fair wages. And if a mum or a dad makes the decision to stay at home, then this should also be supported and validated. “Yes, it’s difficult to juggle a career and kids, but for me, the alternative is not to have a career and would that make me happy?” says Aileen. “Probably not, and if the children are to have a happy childhood in a happy home, I think the parents also need to be happy.”

been really great – no need to lift the children from their beds, and I can happily work from home and have lunch with them before heading back to the study. The dynamic is lovely and it feels like leaving them with a family member. I couldn’t have more positive things to say about it – and I was skeptical at first.” Another key to making life work for Aileen is having an employer that is open to different working arrangements, especially as the kids get older. “My working day is arranged so I can spend the maximum amount of time possible with the kids. I would get up very early and spend two hours working in the study at

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YOU SAY

CAN YOU HAVE IT ALL? We asked our readers for their top tips on juggling career and baby. ✹ Give up the idea of having it all, that just puts pressure on you. Just enjoy what you have. Be organised with clothes and lunches, do the minimum of housework and use weekends to spend time with each other, as those are the memories they will cherish.” Sophie Leach-Marshall ✹ Just remember your real day begins when you get home to the kids! It’s tough but doable. Aine Burns ✹ Make sure you have an understanding boss who won’t make a big deal out of you having to always leave work on time to pick up your child/children from childcare or having to skip out early because your child is sick. Michelle Böhm ✹ Get a cleaner! Nessa Whitehurst ✹ Don’t be so hard on yourself. Doing your best and what you think is right is all you can do. Second-guessing yourself takes up too much energy and head space. Rebecca Flynn ✹ Never bring your work home. The housework can wait; when your child/children need a cuddle, help or attention, give it to them. Schedule house jobs in the calendar and let the little ones help, they love it, especially if it’s messy! Aoife Coughlan

“YOU CAN’T ‘HAVE IT ALL’ but as long as you realise that and are happy with ‘just about enough’

then you’ll be good. Get super organised. When cooking at the weekend make extra and freeze it for lunches/dinners. Do your shopping online and get it delivered when dad can help put it away so you’re not spending Saturday in the supermarket. When planning to go back to work think where you want nursery to be, particularly for days off if you want that time to yourself. Most importantly, use the weekends to spend quality time together as a family. Children grow up so quickly and you will never get the time back. Enjoy it for what it is now!” Catherine McKenna Jordan

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76 SHOPPING

Name It

STORE DIRECTORY

Accessorize Stores nationwide; www.accessorize.com Alex and Ani Stockists nationwide; www.alexandani.com Amaia kids www.amaiakids.co.uk Arnotts Henry Street, Dublin 1; tel: (01) 8050400; www.arnotts. ie ASOS www.asos.com

B C

Brown Thomas www. brownthomas.com

Clerys 18-27 Lower O’connell Street, Dublin 1; tel: (01) 878 6000; www. clerys.ie

Debenhams Stores nationwide; www. debenhams.ie Dorai www. dorsi.ie Dorothy Perkins

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Stores nationwide; www. dorothyperkins.com Dune Stores nationwide; www.dunelondon.com

E F

Elverys Stores nationwide; www.elverys.ie

Fabucci Footwear www. fabucci.ie Folli Follie Stockists nationwide; www. follifollie.com Frugi www. frugi.com

Harvey Nichols 16 Sandyford Road, Dublin 16; tel: (01) 2910488; www.harveynichols.com H&M Stores nationwide; www.hm.com House of Fraser Dundrum Town Centre, www.houseoffraser.co.uk

I J L

Isabella Oliver www.isabellaoliver.co.uk JoJo Maman Bebe www. jojomamanbebe.co.uk

LEGO Stockists nationwide; www.lego. com Littlewoods Ireland www.littlewoods.ie Lifestyle Sports Stores nationwide; www.lifestylesports.com L’Oréal Stockists nationwide; www.loreal.com

Mamalicious Selected stores nationwide; www.mama-licious.com Mama Owl www.mamaowl. net Mamas & Papas www. mamasandpapas.com Marks & Spencer Stores nationwide;

www.marksandspencer.ie Monsoon Stores nationwide; www.monsoon.co.uk Mothercare Stores nationwide; www.mothercare.ie

Name it Stores nationwide; www. nameit.com New Look Stores nationwide; www.newlook. com Next Stores nationwide; www.nextdirectory.ie

Oasis Stores nationwide; www.oasis-stores.com Office; www.office.co.uk

Penneys Stores nationwide; www.primark.co.uk Piquant Baby Powerscourt Townhouse Centre, 59 South William Street, Dublin 2; tel (01) 677 8896;

www.piquatnbaby.ie

River Island Stores nationwide; www.riverisland.com

Schuh Stores nationwide www.schuh.com Seraphine www.seraphine. com Smyth’s www.toys.ie

Topshop Stores nationwide; www.topshop.com

Warehouse Stores nationwide; www.warehouse.co.uk White Stuff www.whitestuff.com

Zara Stores nationwide; www.zara.com/ie

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â&#x20AC;˘ r e n â&#x20AC;˘ W in ay! d o t e Nominat

MUM OF THE YEAR Every mum is an unsung hero: juggling kids, housework, homework and cooking on top of everything else! Mums are supportive, comforting, positive, and always put their families first. We want to hear about an extraordinary mum whose hard work and commitment to her loved ones is truly inspirational.

Nominate now at www.maternityandinfant.ie/awards

100% Magenta

100% Cyan 95% Magenta

M&I Mum of the Year 2015.indd 1

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â&#x20AC;˘ r e n â&#x20AC;˘ W in ay! d o t e Nominat

MIDWIFE OF THE YEAR Caring, supportive, compassionate and encouraging; these are just some of the words used to descibe the midwives that dedicate their lives daily to the care of infants and expecting parents. We want to recognise a midwife who goes beyond the call of duty and excels in helping new parents and their newborn every step of the way.

Nominate now at www.maternityandinfant.ie/awards

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M&I Midwife 2015.indd 1

24/03/2015 12:05

79 ASK THE EXPERTS

MEET THE

EXPERTS We have a wide range of experts on hand to answer your questions on everything from pregnancy and birth to sleeping, feeding, fitness and general wellbeing. If you have a question that needs answered, get in touch!

D r J u li u s Park er

Embryologist

D r D eclan K eane

Physiotherapist

Dr Parker is a general practitioner with HSF Health Planâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free 24-hour GP advice line and answers healthrelated questions for young families. For more information on HSF Health Plan, visit www.hsf.ie or Lo Call 1890 473 473.

Dr Keane is a senior clinical embryologist with 20 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; experience. He is director of ReproMed fertility clinics in Kilkenny and Dublin, with a third clinic opening in Limerick this year. For more information, call Declan on (01) 685 6755 or visit www.repromed.ie.

Jenny is a chartered physiotherapist and partner at Total Physio in Sandyford, Co Dublin, and sees many women during and after pregnancy., treating issues like pelvic girdle pain. She is also mum to Jamie and Holly. For more information visit www.totalphysio.ie.

Sleep Consultant

L u cy Wolf e,

C GS C , M A PS C

Lucy is a paediatric sleep consultant and mum of four. She runs a private sleep consulting practice where she provides knowledge, expertise and valuable support to families across the country. Visit www.sleepmatters.ie.

Obstetrician

D r S am C ou lt er- S mi t h Dr Coulter-Smith is a consultant in obstetrics and gynaecology, master of the Rotunda Hospital and a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at the Royal College of Surgeons. Visit www.rotunda.ie

J enny B rani g an

Dietitian

Pharmacist

R u t h C h arles

J oanne K i s s ane

Ruth is a dietitian with the Early Feeding Clinic, which offers advice on becoming pregnant, nutrition during pregnancy and feeding your baby. For more information, visit www.earlyfeedingclinic.ie.

Joanne is the Superintendent Pharmacist with Lloyds Pharmacy, which has 86 pharmacies around Ireland. Each pharmacy offers experts in pain, skin and child health. Come to the pharmacy that cares.

Ask the experts... If you have a question regarding any aspect of your pregnancy, new baby or toddler, please get in touch. Email us at editorialdesk@ashville.com or write to us at maternity & infant, Ashville Media Group, Old Stone Building, Blackhall Green, Dublin 7.

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80 ASK THE FERTILITY EXPERT

I V F ex p lai ned I am a 35-year-old woman. I need to have IVF treatment, as my doctor has discovered my tubes are blocked – what does this entail? Natural conception occurs when the male genetic package within the sperm cell swims from the vagina through the cervical mucus into the uterus and along one of the fallopian tubes to meet and penetrate the shell of the recently ovulated egg cell. IVF intends to take the egg from the ovary just about the time it is ready to ovulate, and in the complex IVF laboratory, introduce the sperm to penetrate the shell of the egg, thereby increasing the chance of natural fertilisation. The conditions replicated in the IVF laboratory are similar to those in the fallopian tube environment, wherein natural conception occurs and continues to form the embryo until approximately Day 5 or 6 of the fertilisation continuum, when the embryo should implant into the uterus. We should look to use more than one egg to increase the chance of success and increase the efficiency of the process. So the extra egg follicles normally available on the ovary each month (which would routinely die off and not be used) are recruited to grow to maturity available for pre-ovulatory surgical collection. This involves using fertility drugs. Only embryos that grow to their predicted normal stage of development as per nature’s time regime are utilised for the embryo transfer back into the woman’s womb. After that, embryo development and implantation hopefully will occur, but cannot be forced to happen by anyone, explaining the IVF success rate.

E g g d onat i on i n I reland I have heard that Irish legislation will change to no longer allow sperm and egg donation to help childless couples conceive – is this true as we wish to use donated eggs to help us start our own family? Sperm, egg and embryo donation has been used to help couples and single women to conceive and this is ongoing for many years now. The use of donated cells in the assisted conception field does need to be regulated, as too many children as the result of the same donor run the risk of possibly meeting in the future and perhaps marrying. The Irish Government have suggested a register of children conceived from donor sperm or eggs should be set up in Ireland and only the use of known donors be permitted. However, limiting donation to non-anonymous known donors may have a negative impact in a number of ways. Possibly donor men and women will not wish to be contactable by children born from their donated sperm or egg cells, so a shortage of donors may occur, similar to other countries worldwide where donation is restricted to known donors. If donated cells are less readily available then the access to the cells will be restricted by supply and demand, thus driving up the cost of these cells. This will force those who wish to use sperm and egg donation to leave the Irish restrictions to travel to countries where easier access to cells is available. This defeats the purpose of the register and forces couples into treatment away from their own country.

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K aryot yp i ng af t er mi s carri ag e I have had several miscarriages and it has been suggested that I have karyotyping carried out. What is it and what will it tell me?

Karyotyping is way of matching up all the chromosomes of living things, in order and pairing. We will examine cells from a blood sample under a microscope to determine the number of chromosomes in each cell and the quality of each individual chromosome. Karyotyping is a simple blood test so there is nothing invasive required from you or your partner. By matching up your chromosomes, we can spot any genetic imbalance that may lead to infertility, miscarriage and life-limiting conditions. We can then determine what the best course of action for you will be, in order to have a successful pregnancy outcome in the future.

QUICK GUIDE

Does a… PILLOW HELP CONCEPTION? Some experts recommend lying on your back with a pillow under your hipsfor about 15 minutes after ejaculation to help the sperm on their journey. In actual fact, sperm can get to the Fallopian tubes within five to ten minutes, and the vagina is shaped so most of the sperm are retained. But using a pillow and resting certainly won’t do any harm and may even help.

How often… SHOULD WE HAVE SEX? According to the experts, couples who have sex every one or two days, especially during your fertile period (about five days before ovulation to two days afterwards) conceive more quickly than those who have sex only twice a week. There’s no position that’s thought to be more beneficial for conception – the key is to get the sperm as close to your cervix as possible.

All about… FISH AND FERTILITY The omega-3 oils in fish are vital for a baby’s brain and eye development, and fish is also high in protein and various nutrients that are important for a healthy baby. But some fish can contain mercury, which can be harmful for a growing baby. Experts suggest that women trying to get pregnant should eat two portions of fish a week, avoiding shark and swordfish completely as they can be high in mercury.

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81 ASK THE OBSTETRICIAN

B reech p reg nancy

E x t reme morni ng s i ck nes s I am suffering from extremely bad morning sickness. Part of me thinks I should just suck it up as part of pregnancy, but another part of me is worried. When should I seek medical attention for morning sickness? Morning sickness is very common in early pregnancy but it usually starts to settle around 12 weeks’ gestation; however, some women are unlucky and it persists for longer. If you cannot eat or drink first thing in the morning don’t worry too much you can catch up later in the day when you are feeling a bit better. Some women find eating something actually helps the nausea others cannot face food at all. Provided you can eat and drink something as the day goes on you don’t need to be concerned but if you are very weak and dehydrated or starting to lose weight you will need to consult your doctor. In rare circumstances, the normal nausea and occasional vomiting of early pregnancy can be severe, requiring admission to hospital for Intravenous fluids and treatment. This condition is called Hyperemesis gravidarum, and is caused by the high level of pregnancy hormone hCG. This is why twin pregnancies are more likely to be affected by nausea and vomiting early in pregnancy. It is also important to rule out a kidney infection or a UTI, as this is also a common cause of feeling unwell. There are a number of medications that can be used to help control severe nausea and vomiting, but seek advice from your doctor.

Weak h eart b eat i n t w i n I’m pregnant with twins, but I’ve been told that one has a weak heartbeat and is about two weeks behind in development. Does this mean I’m about to lose one of them? What can I expect? Based on the limited amount of information that you have given me it is not clear how many weeks’ pregnant you are, so it is difficult to be definitive in my answer. Twin pregnancies are certainly more complicated than single pregnancies. Some twin pregnancies have two separate placentas while others will share a single placenta. Differences in the baby sizes can be put down to a number of different causes. Sometimes one twin will take more of the placental function than the other, will grow and develop at the correct rate at the expense of the second one, and sometimes in twin pregnancies the blood circulation from one twin will pass to the second, this is called twin to twin transfusion and causes one twin to be significantly bigger than the other. Ideally you should be seen by a fetal medicine expert who has expertise in the management of twin pregnancies. You should then be able to get information in terms of what the cause of the problem is and what you can expect over the coming weeks.

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I’m 32 weeks’ pregnant and I’m told my baby is breech. What are the chances of my baby turning? Can I do anything to help? What happens if my baby stays in breech position? At 32 weeks’ gestation about 10-15 per cent of babies will be breech. By 39 weeks most of these will have reverted to head down, and only 3 per cent of all pregnancies will be breech at term. In terms of what you can do, there are lots of old wives’ tales but there is no scientific evidence to show there is really anything you can do to change things. If the baby stays in the breech position your doctor may suggest that after about 36 weeks’ gestation an external cephalic version (ECV) might be considered, but this is not suitable for all patients. ECV is usually performed in the Ultrasound Dept by an experienced obstetrician who will manually turn the baby with his or her hands; it works best when a relaxant is given to relax the muscle of the wall of the womb during the procedure. About 60-70 per cent of breeches will successfully turn in this way. If ECV does not work or cannot be done for other reasons then a Caesarean section may be suggested, particularly if you are in your first pregnancy. It is becoming less and less common to see vaginal breech deliveries performed.

QUICK GUIDE

Oedema (swelling) in your ankles and feet is very common in late pregnancy. Mild swelling in your hands is also common, but if you notice swelling in your face or around your eyes or excessive swelling in your feet or ankles, contact your doctor or midwife as these could be signs of pre-eclampsia. If one leg is more swollen than the other, and if you have pain or tenderness in the calf or thigh, contact your doctor as it could be a clot.

If you are leaking fluid before 37 weeks, your waters may have broken early. See your doctor, as you may need to go to hospital so the health of your baby can be checked and that you can receive treatment to prevent an infection. If you are leaking fluid and you are after 37 weeks’ pregnant, then you are probably going into labour. If your labour doesn’t start within 24 hours, contact your hospital or midwife for advice.

Ultrasound scans have been used for decades and are considered very safe. Ultrasound sends sound waves through your uterus, which bounce off your baby’s body and the echoes are turned into an image on a screen. The equipment generates a small amount of heat that is absorbed by the part of the body that’s being scanned; in the case of an antenatal scan, this is less than 1°C; it’s only when the temperature of the body tissue raises by 4°C or more that harm may be caused.

All about SWELLING IN PREGNANCY

What happens… …IF MY WATERS BREAK?

Question ARE ULTRASOUND SCANS SAFE?

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sh foods ancy

82 ASK THE DIETITIAN

N u t s d u ri ng p reg nancy I love nuts and snack on them regularly. But I’m pregnant and I heard that I could give my baby a nut allergy – is this true and should I give them up now I’m pregnant?

The short answer is that you can eat nuts, provided that you don’t have a nut allergy yourself, which clearly you don’t if you snack on them so regularly. Many mothers-to-be may think that by avoiding certain foods like nut while pregnant or breastfeeding it will reduce the risk of their child developing a nut allergy. We now know that this is not true. There are certain foods that should be avoided in pregnancy but for reasons of health and safety: Caffeine: no more than 200mg a day. This is roughly 1–2 cups of coffee or 2–4 cups of tea; more than this during pregnancy can be harmful to the developing baby. Liver is best avoided as it provides very high amounts of vitamin A. No amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy and should be avoided. Some bacteria that may be in certain foods harm the baby in the womb, eg Listeria. To protect against this, pregnant women should avoid unpasteurised milks and cheeses, and products made with unpasteurised milk. Foods include all soft cheese and mould-ripened cheese (even those made with pasteurised milk), eg Brie, Camembert, goats’ cheese, and blue cheese, eg Danish Blue, Stilton, Roquefort uncooked cured or smoked meats or smoked fish as well as ready-to-eat foods.

H erb al t ea f or b ab i es I love herbal teas and think they’re a great way of keeping hydrated. Can I give my three-month-old cooled herbal tea in between feeds to keep her hydrated? There are a small number of foods that should never be given to babies under the age of one. Herbal teas usually contain caffeine and natural tannin, which reduce baby’s ability to absorb important nutrients such as iron and calcium. These nutrients are essential for normal growth and development. Breast milk or formula is the only drink suitable for infants aged three months. Cool boiled water can be offered between feeds but is usually not necessary at this age. Other foods best avoided before the age of one include honey, undercooked egg and unpasteurised cheese due to the risk of food poisoning.

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Wh y V i t ami n D d rop s ? The public health nurse says that I should give my baby Vitamin D drops. Why does she need these? I’m breastfeeding, does this make a difference? Vitamin D is a vitamin and is essential for good bone health because it helps our body absorb calcium. In addition, some research has linked low levels of vitamin D with heart disease, diabetes and the metabolic syndrome. All infants, including breastfed infants, should receive 5μg (200 IU) of vitamin D3 in liquid form as a supplement daily throughout the first year of life. Vitamin D is made in the skin when it’s exposed to ultraviolet (UV) light from the sunlight. Direct exposure to sunlight is not recommended for infants because of the risk of skin cancer. Between 0-12 months, infants grow very quickly and sufficient vitamin D is required to form strong bones. An infant’s diet, whether breastfed, formula fed or taking solid foods (or a combination of these), does not commonly include sufficient vitamin D. When an infant starts to spoon feed, it’s important to include natural food sources of Vitamin D like boneless oily fish (salmon, mackerel, herring, sardine) and egg in the weaning diet. Some cereal and milk is fortified and it will say so on the label.

QUICK GUIDE

What is… BREASTFEEDING THRUSH

Top tip PREGNANCY DRINKS

Breastfeeding creates the perfect environment for thrush. It thrives in warm, moist, sugary places, which is exactly what your baby’s mouth is like during breastfeeding. Thrush takes hold more easily if your nipples are cracked or sore, perhaps because your baby isn’t latching on correctly, and thrush can pass between you if not treated. See your GP if you suspect you may have thrush.

Heading to a party or the pub and pregnant? Try these tricks that won’t have you yearning for wine… ✹ Add some cranberry or pineapple juice to liven up orange juice ✹ Drink sparkling apple from a champagne glass ✹ Mix cranberry juice with sparkling water and add a twist of lime for a refreshing drink. ✹ Try a “Shirley Temple” – mix ginger ale with a tablespoon of Grenadine and add a twist of lemon and a slice of orange.

All about… FRUITS VS VEG Some mums worry that introducing fruits as a first food when weaning will give their baby a sweet tooth. This won’t happen, but it’s a good idea to introduce a combination of different fruits and veg as early as possible so the baby gets used to different tastes. Cooked root veg like sweet potato and carrot are naturally sweet so your baby will enjoy these as much as the fruit.

23/03/2015 16:54

83 ASK THE PHYSIOTHERAPIST

T u mmy t i me

S h ou ld er p ai n

I was told by my public health nurse that my two-week-old baby needs to do tummy time. Why is this so important?

Since my baby was born three months ago, I feel constant pain and tightness across my shoulders. My partner has been massaging them and I’m using hot water bottles, but it only gives temporary relief.

Tummy time gives babies a break from being on their backs, as they ned to lie on their backs to sleep. It is a very important part of baby’s development and should be part of their daily routine. Babies’ skulls are soft and continuous lying on their backs in the early stages of life can have a flattening effect on their head, known as Flat Head Syndrome or positional plagiocephaly. Tummy time gives babies a chance to strengthen their neck muscles and arms to prepare them for crawling. Babies can move from side to side, which helps them learn how to reach and crawl. It improves their balance and coordination. So how do you do “tummy time”? Don’t try it when your baby is fussy or hungry. Start tummy time from birth. Begin with tummy time three times per day for 3-5 minutes and build up slowly from there. Holding baby on your chest while you are lying flat is a nice way to start; babies love looking at faces! As your baby gains more head control, place her favourite toy in front of her or to either side, just out of reach. Make it fun! Lie down on your tummy and interact with your baby. Talk to them, sing and play with them to distract them from the fact that they are on their tummies! If your baby falls asleep during tummy time, do not leave her unattended. Place her on her back to continue sleeping. Make playtime on the floor a regular thing, placing them on their tummies so they can learn to move about freely.

K nee i s s u es I knelt down quickly to stop my running toddler and felt a sharp pain in my knee as I stood back up. It has been sore and swollen all week since. I am 31 weeks pregnant. What could I have done? It sounds like you have pinched the cartilage in your knee, also known as the meniscus. When the knee bends and rotates, the cartilage moves forward. If you straighten up too quickly, the cartilage may not move back into place quickly enough and can get pinched between the two bones. If it is pinched badly enough, a little piece may actually tear off. This injury needs to be promptly assessed by your Chartered Physiotherapist to determine how much damage has been done. In the meantime, start icing your knee for 10 minutes at a time, with a cloth between your skin a nd the ice to prevent an ice burn.

THESE ANSWERS ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A PROPER ASSESSMENT BY YOUR CHARTERED PHYSIOTHERAPIST. IT IS VITAL TO DEAL PROMPTLY WITH ANY ACHES AND PAINS AND THEY WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS YOUR BABY GETS BIGGER AND HEAVIER.

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Pain in this area is very common in the postnatal phase. Bigger breasts and changes in posture from your growing bump during pregnancy can affect the muscles around the shoulders and base of your neck. And now that your baby is here, holding him, feeding him, not to mention gazing at him in adoration, it all adds to the postural strain. First thing to look at is your breathing – in front of the mirror, breathe in through your nose and make sure your shoulders are not lifting towards your ears as you inhale. When you inhale your tummy should also relax and bulge slightly. Breathe out through your mouth as normal. Practice this, while propped on several pillows, daily, for 8-10 breaths. Visit your Chartered Physiotherapist for a postural assessment and some gentle spinal mobilisations, which will quickly help to resolve these pains.

QUICK GUIDE

Tip ELBOW PAIN The posture commonly adopted by new mums when breastfeeding results in the lengthening and weakening of the muscles that support the shoulder blades. This can lead to compensation when lifting your baby, where your arms have to take all of the baby’s weight, leading to elbow pain. The pain can be easily resolved by drawing the shoulder blades together every time you lift your baby. As you strengthen up the shoulder blade muscles, the pain will ease out.

When will… MY TUMMY BE FLAT AGAIN? Forget all those images of celebrities in their skinny jeans weeks after giving birth. In reality, it takes at least six to nine months for you to get back to your pre-baby body. This also depends on how much weight you gained during pregnany, your weight and fitness level pre-pregnancy, your genes and if this is your first baby. Breastfeeding will also help.

What is… DRAM? DRAM stands for diastasis of the rectus abdominis muscle, and happens when your pregnancy has overstretched the connective tissues between your rectus muscles. This separation may contribute towards pelvic floor issues, back pain and pelvic pain during and after pregnancy. If you have DRAM avoid crunches and sit-ups, and instead talk to your Chartered Physiotherapist about a gentle ab programme.

23/03/2015 16:55

84 ASK THE SLEEP CONSULTANT

T od d ler w ak i ng i n ni g h t

R ock i ng t o s leep I’ve been rocking my baby to sleep as it’s the only way to help her fall asleep. Will she grow out of this habit? Young babies often require lots of help to achieve sleep. Parents may report that the only way their infant will sleep is by motion and close contact, and if that is the case for you then certainly in the first few months I would recommend that you meet your baby’s need and try not to worry about creating bad habits. Unfortunately it may start to become problematic if you do not manage to phase out the motion as your baby reaches four months onwards. It is not unusual for a new parent to observe that after 12 weeks of complete neediness the baby actually naturally becomes more capable of being put down. Within this time frame it’s a good idea to ensure that although you may be rocking or holding to achieve sleep, that you at the same time establish a flexible feeding and sleeping schedule that matches your baby’s biological clock. Identifying your baby’s early sleep cues can be the first positive step towards healthy sleep. At bedtime, practise having your baby a little more awake in your arms. Even if you rock them all the way to sleep, try to jostle your baby slightly so that they are aware of being put down. Some parents may find when they jostle baby wakes up entirely and they have to start over. This may indicate that your baby isn’t ready or not tolerant of this approach and you may need to wait a while longer and consider other ways of phasing out this way of achieving sleep.

Q M orni ng nap My daughter is coming up 13 months and has a morning nap from 9am till about 11.30am – is this too long? At night she goes down at 6pm and sleeps until 6am – should she be sleeping longer now she’s older? Your daughter sounds like a great little sleeper and appears to be meeting her natural sleep amount. At 13 months the National Sleep Foundation indicates that children may require 11-14 hours sleep within a 24-hour period, so you are filling that need. Generally, however, I find that this age group may benefit from either two naps of 1-1.5 hours split between morning and afternoon, or one longer nap that happens later in the morning. Since she is sleeping at 9am then the best balance would be to wake her after one hour on the first nap and then operate another nap three hours later. This would also push you bed time out slightly later and may also give you a slightly later wake time that may be of benefit. However, if it works for you at the moment then of course leave enough alone and be confident that you child is getting an adequate amount of sleep.

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My nearly two-year-old son is usually a good sleeper. However, recently he has been waking up early hours of the morning for over an hour to sometimes two hours. He is wide awake when this happens and wants to get up. Any advice? As your child is usually a good sleeper, it is highly likely that your recent sleep problems are a temporary presentation due to a developmental leap, like a language explosion for example. Some developmental stages have a greater impact on sleep than others and a long wakeful period overnight is very often what parents will observe. However, I would also suggest to parents that long wakeful periods overnight may also be indicative of overtiredness. So I would advise that you ensure that your child is still having a daytime sleep of around two hours and that the nap happens after 12 noon and not before. In tandem with this I would suggest that bedtime would need to happen within five hours of the nap ending. This can help make sure that your child is not overtired going to bed and that a wakeful period overnight is avoided. Obviously I would encourage you to examine his diet and outside activity and also any over reliance on television/electronics, as all of these factors too may contribute to the problem described.

QUICK GUIDE

Did you know? PREGNANCY DREAMS Having odd dreams now you’re pregnant? You’re not alone. Women tend to dream more during pregnancy than at any other time, and these can range from the joyful to the anxious. Common themes include water, which could refer to your child suspended in the fluid in your uterus, and transport, which could reflect the way you feel about your changing body and how it moves.

Top Tip CO-SLEEPING It is always safer to have your six-month-old or younger baby in a separate crib or basket in same room as you than in your bed due to the increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). But never co-sleep if any of these applies: ✹ Either of you smokes ✹ Your baby was premature or had a low birth weight ✹ You or your partner have been drinking alcohol or taken medication or drugs ✹ You are extremely tired or suffer from sleep apnoea.

All about… BABY SLEEPING BAGS By the time your baby reaches four months old, he will be able to wriggle around his bed – and usually out of his bedclothes! This can sometimes result in him waking up as he gets cold. Baby sleeping bags can stop this from happening. Go for a bag that is designed for night-time use, is sleeveless and hoodless, and is well fitted around his neck (to prevent him from slipping down into it). Go for a tog rating of no more than 2.5 togs in winter and about 0.5-1 tog in summer.

23/03/2015 16:55

85 ASK THE PHARMACIST

H elp w i t h i nh aler My five year old has been prescribed a Ventolin inhaler but I’m not sure he is using it properly. Are there any devices for helping him, or guidelines on using one? Asthma medication can be given to your child in a variety of ways. It is important that children have their inhaler and spacer technique checked by a doctor, nurse or pharmacist regularly. To assist your child in taking his/ her inhaler a device known as a spacer can be used and children should always use a spacer with their inhaler. A spacer device is a plastic container with a mouthpiece or mask at one end, and space to insert an inhaler at the other. There are several different brands of spacer device available and some are available on the various drugs schemes such as the GMS/DPS – always ask your pharmacist for advice. Spacers have several advantages: they make inhalers easier to use; they increase the amount of medication that reaches the airways; and they reduce the risk of side effects from controller medication, such as oral thrush. Only release one puff of medication into a spacer at a time and always follow the manufacturer’s instructions for care and replacement guidelines. Your pharmacist will demonstrate how to use the spacer recommended by your GP and can also offer advice on how to use both the inhalers and devices in children and babies.

I ron s u p p lement s My doctor has advised me to take an iron supplement – I’m 21 weeks’ pregnant – but I find it very hard on my stomach. Is there a gentler iron supplement on the market? Or any tips you might have to make it easier on my tummy? When you’re pregnant, you need about twice the amount of iron because your body uses this to make extra blood for your baby. If your iron level is low and you’re following all the dietary guidelines, you may need to take an extra iron supplement. Iron supplements may cause nausea, vomiting, constipation or diarrhoea. Sometimes your body adjusts to the extra iron on its own in a few days, but if not, there are ways to control the side effects, such as sticking to simple foods and taking your supplement on a full stomach, eating plenty of fibre and drinking lots of water if suffering from constipation, or replace fluids if suffering from diarrhoea. Spatone is 100 per cent natural iron rich water supplement from North Wales and is a gentle source of daily iron. This iron occurs naturally in water and is gently absorbed by your body. It causes fewer unpleasant side effects than conventional iron supplements. Spatone is available to buy over the counter in pharmacies and can be added to fruit juice, combining the iron with the Vitamin C in the fruit juice to increase absorption.

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C ou g h b ot t les f or b ab i es Are there any cough bottles on the market for babies aged under 18 months? My little one has a terrible hacking cough at night but she’s not sick enough for the doctor. Children often cough when they have a cold because of mucus trickling down the back of the throat. If your child is feeding, drinking, eating and breathing normally, and there’s no wheezing, a cough isn’t usually anything to worry about. If a cough continues for a long time, especially if it’s worse at night or is brought on by your child running about, it could be a sign of asthma. Some children with asthma also have a wheeze or breathlessness. If your child has any of these symptoms take them to the GP. If your child seems to be having trouble breathing get medical help, even if it’s the middle of the night. Although it’s upsetting to hear your child cough, coughing helps clear away phlegm from the chest or mucus from the back of the throat. If your child is over the age of one, try Nelsons Sootha Children’s Cough Syrup. This is a pleasant tasting and soothing remedy for cough relief for children aged 12 months and older. wIt is non-drowsy and free from artificial colourings, flavourings and alcohol.

QUICK GUIDE

2 3

Earache can be a sharp, dull or burning ear pain. If the child has other symptoms or it doesn’t improve within a few days see a doctor. ✹ Try a painkiller like Calpol or Nurofen for Children ✹ Place a warm flannel against the ear to help relieve pain ✹ Ask your pharmacist about ear drops ✹ Eardrops should not be used if the eardrum has burst ✹ If you have an ear infection, avoid getting the affected ear wet.

Your pharmacist is always there to help and advise if you have any questions regarding your healthcare, supplements or medication. If you are pregnant or breastfeeding, some overthe-counter supplements and remedies may not be suitable for you, and your pharmacist will be able to recommend a suitable alternative.

Advice on.. EARACHE

Get to know ... ADVICE

What to do ... DEALING WITH CRADLE CAP Gently wash your baby’s hair and scalp with baby shampoo. Then massage a small amount of baby oil or natural oil, such as almond or olive oil, into the scalp at night. In the morning use a soft baby brush or cloth to gently remove any loose particles before washing the hair with a baby shampoo. If this doesn’t work, talk to your pharmacist about an over-the-counter remedy such as Dentinox Cradle Cap Shampoo. See your GP if your baby’s cradle cap is severe.

23/03/2015 16:55

86 ASK THE GP

C rou p

T oni c f or ch i ld ren

My daughter is just over a mild croup infection, which we treated at home with steam and sips of cooled boiled water. Is there anything we can do to prevent a future infection? And at what point should we contact a GP?

We are just back from our holidays in Spain where the entire family got a nasty tummy bug. The adults are over the worst of it but the children’s energy levels are very low. Other than a tonic, is there anything else they can take to build up their immunity?

Croup is often an unpleasant illness for children, because it causes a distressing cough and painful throat. Luckily most cases are mild, and can be treated at home exactly as you describe, with regular fluids and paracetamol. Steam inhalation can also relieve symptoms, although it’s important to do so under supervision. Croup can be caused by several different viruses, the most common being parainfluenza types I, II and III. As there is no immunisation available, preventing croup is a matter of avoiding exposure to known cases, and encouraging normal hygiene precautions. Whilst most children with croup can be cared for at home, some symptoms can suggest a more serious illness. Croup produces inflammation in the windpipe (trachea) and in the larger airways in the lungs. A temperature, runny nose, and sore throat are normal. As the inflammation progresses, a hoarse voice and characteristic barking cough will develop, as will a harsh rasping noise when breathing in. This is called stridor. You should seek prompt medical attention if your child becomes breathless, has increasingly severe stridor, or a high temperature unrelieved by medication. Other concerning symptoms include drowsiness, and increasing distress and agitation. Having said all this, most cases of croup are mild and settle over a week or so.

S p i d er v ei ns I am a mother of three young children. During my first pregnancy I developed spider veins in my thighs. The veins became more marked with each subsequent pregnancy, and I’m embarrassed by how they look. Is there anything I can do? Pregnancy is a common trigger for developing spider veins. These are very thin and irregular, red-to-blue lines that appear to lie very close to the surface of the skin. They may look tangled together or have a ‘sunburst’ appearance from a centre point. They don’t, as you’ve noticed, cause any pain or discomfort but can be cosmetically embarrassing. They may be associated with varicose veins, which are larger and more raised blood vessels. These may ache or cause a burning sensation. Both often occur in the legs and are more common in women. Both spider and varicose veins are thought to occur as the blood circulating through the lower legs temporarily pools in slightly enlarged veins. As well as pregnancy they may also run in families and occur if you have to stand a long time, for example, at work. If you may have varicose veins I’d recommend you check this with your GP first, as these may be treatable and your thread veins may spread without such treatment. Spider veins are considered a cosmetic rather than medical problem. There are two main types of therapy. Sclerotherapy involves injecting a solution into the veins directly. This is an irritant and damages the walls of the veins, which after a period of some weeks close up and disappear. Alternatively, a focused laser or pulsed light can produce a similar effect.

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I’m sorry to hear your holiday was spoiled in this way. There’s no doubt, unfortunately, it can sometimes take a while to fully recover from this sort of illness. As they recover you’ll probably find your children seem more easily tired, ready to sleep, and less interested in their normal activities, or play for shorter periods. They may also be reluctant to eat as much as usual or prefer to stick to their favourites. After a significant gastrointestinal infection (tummy bug) the lining of the gut can take a while to return to normal. During this time some tummy cramps and soft or loose motions may occur, and younger children may not digest cow’s milk as easily. Restricting cow’s milk intake for a few weeks can reduce these symptoms. Assuming your children are fit and healthy with no underlying medical problems I’d reassure you that they, and their immune system, should soon be back to normal. Getting plenty of rest, encouraging a return to a varied diet and maintaining good fluid intake will help their recovery. It’s normal for a child’s immune system to cope successfully with a wide range of infections. This process is important as it helps create their natural immunity in later life.

QUICK GUIDE

What about… EXPOSURE TO MEASLES After the first childhood measles immunisation at around 13 months, it’s estimated about 5-10 per cent of children aren’t fully immune. After the second MMR, less than 1 per cent of children remaining at risk afterwards. If vaccinations are not up to date, they may be successfully immunised, with another MMR within three days of exposure.

Top tip WHEN TO CALL YOUR GP

What is… A MEDICAL EMERGENCY?

It can be often confusing to decide when your baby is sick enough to see a doctor. Our advice is to always err on the side of caution. Babies’ immune systems are still developing and they can be prone to bugs, viruses, coughs and colds. They also tend to get sick quite quickly, but once treated, they tend to improve quickly too. Always go with your gut instinct.

Always take your baby to the nearest A&E if they need immediate attention but their condition is not life threatening (always call 999 then). Go to A&E if your baby: ✹ Has a cut that is deep or won’t stop bleeding (place pressure on it) ✹ Has a possible fracture ✹ Gets a bad bump on the head ✹ Swallows or eats something that may be poisonous ✹ Has bad stomach pain

23/03/2015 16:55

87 COMPETITION

WIN!

Congratulations to Maureen Gorman from Co Dublin, winner of last issue’s competition!

5 STAR FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY AT

THE HERITAGE GOLF & SPA RESORT

KILLENARD, CO. LAOIS

he Heritage Golf & Spa Resort, a relaxed and luxurious 5 star destination set in the quaint countryside of Killenard, Co Laois, is the perfect place for a memorable family break. From the in-house movie theatre to afternoon tea, a range of glorious ESPA treatment, two games rooms, a swimming pool and a fabulous new playground, it’s no wonder that The Heritage Golf & Spa Resort is a popular choice for an everlasting and memorable family break. To celebrate this amazing destination, we are giving one lucky family the chance to win a two-night stay in an interconnecting room with breakfast on both mornings, dinner on one evening of your choice in The Arlington Room Restaurant and a family pass for the nearby National Stud and Gardens. During your stay, mum and dad can relax, unwind and indulge the senses with complimentary access to The Heritage Spa Experience while the little ones are kept entertained. The extensive 7,000-squarefoot Thermal Suite guides your body through a two-hour sensory journey with the ultimate aim of inducing deep relaxation so that you leave feeling rested and rejuvenated. Guests can also enjoy full use of the health club during their stay, so make sure to pack the arm bands and swimwear for a dip in the pool or try out the 5km walking track. If you’re not lucky enough to win on this occasion you can find out more about the fantastic range family packages on offer by visiting www.theheritage.com

HOW TO WIN To be in the draw for this amazing prize, simply answer the following question correctly:

What is the name of the restaurant in The Heritage Golf & Spa Resort? Email your answer and contact details to competitions@maternityandinfant.ie, with THE HERITAGE in the subject line. Or send a postcard with your answer and contact details, marked THE HERITAGE, to maternity & infant, Ashville Media Group, Old Stone Building, Blackhall Green, Dublin 7. Terms and Conditions: Prize includes 2BB1D plus activity for 2 adults and 2 children, is subject to availability, non-transferable and not valid during Easter, Christmas, New Year or bank holidays. Closing date for all entries is 20th May 2015. Prize is non-transferable. Competition is not open to employees of Ashville Media Group or The Heritage Golf & Spa Resort, Co Laois. No cash or gift card will be awarded in lieu of stated prize. If any of the items offered are unavailable or out of stock, a suitable alternative will be provided. Winner will be selected at random from a draw and will be contacted by phone. Competition entrants must be resident in the island of Ireland. One entry per person. Competition is also subject to all usual terms and conditions.

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The Heritage Golf & Spa Resort, Killenard, Co Laois T: +353 (0) 57 8645500 E: info@theheritage.com

23/03/2015 17:03

88 BLOG WE LOG

A CHANGE IN

ATTITUDE

I’m SINEAD, mum to two small boys and an even smaller girl in Wexford. I started blogging on Bumbles of Rice in June 2012 – here is my midterm tale of woe that taught me the importance of a positive attitude.

he boys were off school this week for midterm break and we’d lots of plans. On Monday morning we got up, and each packed their own bag to go stay with Granny and Grandad (I checked them to ensure there was underwear and not just toys). We had breakfast, lined the bags up at the door and got our coats on. Then I went to get the car keys. And they weren’t where they should be. So I looked for them. And spent the next THREE hours doing so. In those three hours I broke the monotony of the search with several frazzled phone calls to my husband at work. I was secretly (not that secretly) convinced that he must have taken them with him. This time he claimed to be innocent. I wasn’t convinced. After the first ten minutes I told the kids to take off their coats and I turned the TV on. A good parenting call, a conscious decision. I also decided not to shout. Another good move, and a rare one. I didn’t want their midterm to start like that. The Prime Suspect in the mystery of the disappearing car keys helped me to look by emptying all the presses, even the ones I had already looked in. I checked the fridge, the dishwasher, the oven. Zero. I looked behind the radiators. I checked the laundry basket. ALL the laundry baskets. I was losing hope. Our little holiday wasn’t going to happen. I had a sneaking suspicion that the keys might be locked in the car, so every half hour or so I’d go peer in the windows to see if I could see them. Not even a glint. Back inside, the troops were getting restless. Cathal would appear and ask if I’d found them yet. Rather than bark at him, I kept smiling and teased in my nice voice “don’t you think I’d have told you?” He’d giggle

and run off. Mother of the year judges, I hope you’re taking note. Laoise peeled herself a clementine onto the floor. Cathal announced he’d accidentally wet himself. A favourite mug was smashed on the kitchen floor. A call needed to be made. I surrendered. I told the kids I was going to stop looking and we’d just enjoy our day at home. Ciarán looked at me disappointedly and said: “Mam, I never thought you were a quitter”. Gawwwwwd, my heartstrings. This required a quick and considered reaction. I reassured him that it was for the best for everyone if we stopped looking. He said he understood in his best voice but then announced he was going for a nap. Unsolicited naps for six year olds don’t happen. I was on the alert, but I went upstairs to find him asleep. His sister went to bed too and I spent some alone time with Cathal, while logging on to my work email and finishing a few things up. The boys’ compliance was actually due to them being sick, their red cheeks being the giveaway of slapped cheek virus. We stayed in and had Calpol and hot drinks. The afternoon was quite pleasant, considering. The morning’s dramas were forgotten. Heroic Dad was met with a fanfare when he arrived home at 7.15pm and used the spare key to unlock the car and the other set of keys were found in the centre console. (And he was absolved from most suspicion; despite his having locked them in, I put them there). So we put the bags into the car and started our little holiday nine hours later than planned. That Monday reminded me that having a bad day is often down to attitude. I consciously made the decision to not let the stress get to me. So I’m resolving to remember this day, to rise above it, and make the best of things. It’s all down to attitude, I’m adopting this approach and like Ciarán said, I’m not a quitter.

FOLLOW SINEAD’S PARENTING ADVENTURES ON BUMBLES OF RICE

w w w . b u mb les of ri ce. com If you’re a parenting blogger, we want to hear from you! Email us at editorialdesk@ashville.com

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23/03/2015 17:05

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