Maternity & Infant June/July 2015 by Ashville Media Group

maternity & infant

JUNE/JULY 2015 €3.75/£3.30 JUNE/JULY 2015 ISSUE 51

VACC INATIONS The truth behind the headlines

WE’VE GOT THE WHOLE FAMILY COVERED!

ALL ABOUT BEDD ING Safe sleep

65 BEACHWEAR FINDS

BUMP BLUES

tips for your little one

DEALING WITH PRENATAL DEPRESSION

set for summer

www.maternityandinfant.ie

9 772009 193014

DADDWhenY DAYCARE dad stays at home

PLUS ASK THE EXPERT * NEVEN MAGUIRE * BEAUTY ADVICE MI June_July 2015_Cover.indd 1

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1 JUNE / JULY 2015

Contents On the Cover 24

BURNING TOPIC: VACCINATIONS Do we give too many vaccinations to our children? And are they really safe? We ask the experts, and reveal the results of our reader poll.

SUMMER ACTIVITIES

Need to keep your little

A ROMANTIC WEEKEND IN

ones busy this summer?

KNOCKRANNY HOUSE HOTEL & SPA, CO MAYO!

Get inspired with our eight-week summer activity guide! 44

Win! PAGE 87

PRENATAL DEPRESSION What if pregnancy is not as

Style

joyful as maybe it should be? Could you be suffering

from prenatal depression? 46

PRODUCT GUIDE: BEDDING

From beach style with a

Continuing our new series

bump to stealing Jaime

of practical guides to some

King’s pregnancy style,

of the biggest purchases

we have your maternity fashion covered.

you’ll make as prospective 36

parents, we take a look at

MATERNITY

BABY & CHILD

bedding and choose our

Stripes, sunshine yellow

favourite buys.

and beach favourites – we

DADDY DAYCARE

have some great style picks

More and more dads are

for your little ones this season

staying at home to look 70

after the kids, for a variety

BRONZED UP

of reasons. One stay-at-

Up with the baby all night

home dad tells us his story.

and too broke for a week in the sun? No matter, you can fake that healthy, happy, bronzed glow in seconds. You’ll feel better,

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trust us. 73

YOU Find the perfect swimsuit for your body type.

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2 JUNE / JULY 2015

Contents

40 Opinion 28

DADDY MY WAY In a special Mummy takeover for Father’s Day, one reader tells us his experience as a dad.

DAD’S DIARY Nick Wilkinson tells us how playdates help him see his house through a child’s eyes.

THE BREAST ADVICE Cliodna Gilroy on useful products for breastfeeding.

BLOG WE LOG What made us laugh or cry

Regulars 6

M&I ONLINE

WHAT’S ON Our brand-new guide to the

in blogland this month.

Experts

essential dates for your diary this June/July 11

NEWS All the latest news, reviews

ASK THE FERTILITY EXPERT

ASK THE OBSTETRICIAN

ASK THE DIETITIAN

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT…

ASK THE PHYSIO

Tongue tie is a surprisingly

NAPPY RASH

ASK THE SLEEPING EXPERT

STORE DIRECTORY

common issue among

What is nappy rash and how

ASK THE PHARMACIST

WIN A WEEKEND FOR TWO IN

newborn babies, but little

can you treat and prevent

ASK THE GP

is known about it. We

it? This is your no-nonsense

investigate whether tongue

guide to this common baby

tie could be the reason for

health issue.

Features 50

TONGUE TIE

many women struggling 52

ANXIETY AND CHILDREN

with breastfeeding.

What can you do to help

SLING GUIDE

an anxious child? Dublin

A sling is a godsend for a

psychologist Owen Connolly

busy life or a fussy baby.

explains why anxiety can

Babywearing expert Ina

affect very young children

Doyle guides us through the

and how we can help “re-set”

various types on the market.

their systems.

NEVEN MAGUIRE

ANNABEL KARMEL Recipes for picnics and trips to the beach

KNOCKRANNY HOUSE HOTEL & SPA!

FROM SELF-DOUBT TO SELF-

This month, celebrity chef

BELIEF

Neven Maguire publishes

Mumpreneur Annabel

his first book of recipes for

Karmel tells us how to turn

babies, toddlers and families.

our self-doubt into self-belief

We caught up with the dad

whether you’re starting your

to find out his philosophy on

own business or returning to

food for teenies.

work after a break.

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and products.

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He feels mum s' He feels mum s' gentle touch. He feels mum s' gentle touch. gentle touch.

His mind is rapidly His mind is rapidly His mind is rapidly developing.

developing. developing.

Skin-to-skin beenshown showntoto Skin-to-skintouch touchduring duringbath bathtime time has been Skin-to-skin touch during bath time time has has been shown to promote happy, healthy development. The scent and promote happy, healthy development. The scent andthe the Skin-to-skin touch during bath been shown to ®® bath and relaxing soft lather of a JOHNSON’S massage promote happy, healthy development. The scent and the soft lather of a JOHNSON’S bath relaxing massage promote happy, healthy development. The scent and the ® help enhance experience.® bath soft lather ofthe JOHNSON’S bath and and relaxing relaxing massage massage help enhance experience. soft lather of aathe JOHNSON’S Learn moreatatwww.johnsonsbaby.ie/so-much-more. www.johnsonsbaby.ie/so-much-more. help enhance enhance the experience. Learn more help the experience. Learn more more at at www.johnsonsbaby.ie/so-much-more. www.johnsonsbaby.ie/so-much-more. Learn

so so much muchmore more

so much more

TM TM

IRE/JOB/15-1239a

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4 EDITOR’S LETTER

Welcome Summer has finally arrived, and despite the fact that I’m typing this while listening to the rain, I’m looking forward to plenty of outdoor fun with my two little ones. At four and two, Danny and Ellie are big enough (and bold enough!) for lots of summertime outings and activities, and while I’m excited to share all this with them, I’m also a little daunted by the long days and the weeks to fill before the routine begins again in September. Being a mum is a bit like being a scout – being prepared is the key! To this end, we’ve come up with a summer plan (p40) to keep your little ones occupied and happy, no matter what the weather throws us. They’ll love it, scout’s honour. Summer is the obvious theme in this issue, with lots of beach fashion and tips throughout the magazine, but another theme that will be relevant to the vast majority of mums out there is the subject of nutrition for children. TV chef Neven

THE TEAM Editor: Penny Gray Editorial Assistant: Rachel Murray Intern: Jane Quinn Editorial Manager: Mary Connaughton

Maguire publishes his first book of recipes for babies and children this month, and we caught up with the dad of three-year-old twins to get his take on feeding little ones. See p58 for more as well as some delicious recipes from the book. Finally, let’s not forget that it’s Father’s Day on Sunday 21st June. I lost my dad eight years ago, but not a day goes past without me thinking about him and how much he taught me. This issue we celebrate fatherhood with the stories of two very special fathers – on p28, one dad tells us his experience of having a girl after three boys, while on p56, we look at the rise and rise of the stay-at-home dad. Enjoy the issue and don’t forget to get in contact via Facebook and Twitter.

Creative Director: Jane Matthews Design: Jennifer Reid Photography & Illustrations: Getty Images, Thinkstock Production Manager: Mary Connaughton Sales Director: Paul Clemenson Email editorialdesk@ashville.com or write to maternity & infant, Ashville Media, Old Stone Building, Blackhall Green, Dublin 7; Tel: (01) 432 2200; Web: www.maternityandinfant.ie All rights reserved. Every care has been taken to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is accurate. The publishers cannot, however, accept responsibility for errors or omissions. Reproduction by any means in whole or in part without the permission of the publisher is prohibited. © Ashville Media Group 2014. All discounts, promotions and competitions contained in this magazine are run independently of maternity & infant. The promoter/advertiser is responsible for honouring the prize. ISSN 2009 1931

Penny Gray Find us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter

Editor

MY PICKS THIS ISSUE 16

PLAYING SHOP

STRIPE ON

HINT OF COLOUR

Two-year-old Ellie adores her play shop in crèche (rather impressively built and painted out of cardboard by her teachers), and this summer I’m continuing the fun at home with these great toy baskets from Ikea. There’s a veg version too! Duktig Fruit Basket, €8.25, Ikea

I love stripes on my four-year-old boy, and this rugby shirt from Mamas and Papas, €20, is ideal for chillier days. If only he’d keep it clean!

My pale Irish skin doesn’t react too well to a lot of fake tans, but Clarins Radiance-Plus Golden-Glow Booster for the Body, €36, allows me to custom-blend my tan with my favourite body lotion. Oompa-loompa streaks be gone!

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Now with FREE seat liner

Find your nearest iCandy stockist at www.icandyworld.com Limited promotion. Subject to available stock. Colour of seat liner may vary

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6 ONLINE

maternityandinfant.ie SUMMER EVENTS

The great thing about summer is that there’s always something new to see or to do! Make sure you don’t miss a thing by following our weekly events guide. http://maternityandinfant.ie/lifestyle/out-about/

CONNECT

WRITE MATERNITY & INFANT, OLD STONE BUILDING, BLACKHALL GREEN, DUBLIN 7. EMAIL EDITORIALDESK@ASHVILLE.COM FACEBOOK.COM/MATERNITYANDINFANT TWITTER.COM/MATERNITYINANT

Baby Know-How Just had a new babba and got a 4am question? Log on to our baby section for a comprehensive guide to all things baby. http://maternityandinfant.ie/ lifestyle/out-about/

FASHION WITH A BUMP

Can’t get enough maternity fashion? Check out our weekly maternity finds and features on our fashion & beauty section. http://maternityandinfant. ie/lifestyle/fashion-beauty/ maternity-fashion/

WIN WIN WIN!

Dress, €89.99, Bumps n Babies

Our weekly competitions continue to get better and better! Recent prizes include movie goodies, €100 makeup goodie bags and family passes for Tayto Park (left). Remember: if you’re not in, you can’t win! http://maternityandinfant. ie/competitions/

REAL MUM ADVICE

Got a burning question about pregnancy or parenting? Every day we post on Facebook a question to our real mums for real advice on a very real problem. Drop us a line with your question and we’ll post it up for you! http://www.facebook.com/ maternityandinfant

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WHAT’S HOT?

We’re loving new Instagram account, Average Parent Problems, which shows real-life parent problems in picture form. Created by mum of two and blogger Ilana Wiles (check out her blog, Mommy Shorts), we think it’s spot on!

Don’t forget to sign up for our twiceweekly ezine, which keeps you up to date on all things new on www. maternityandinfant.ie, including competitions, special offers and Awards news.

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The product most recommended by pharmacists for scars and stretch marks. Retail pharmacist study, 2013

UK’s No.1 selling scar & stretch mark product.

“From very early in my pregnancy (about 5 weeks) I started using Bio-Oil twice a day. I loved the way it made my skin feel. Emily is five months old already and I’m still using it! As for stretch marks I’m happy to report that I didn’t see a single one. Bio-Oil was amazing! I was the first of my friends to fall pregnant, so now I’m telling them all about it.”

IRI, 2015

Abby with Emily

Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the first trimester. For comprehensive product information, and details of clinical trials, please visit bio-oil.com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of €10.99 (60ml). Individual results will vary. Distributed in the UK and the Republic of Ireland by Godrej Consumer Products (UK) Ltd.

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9 WHAT’S ON

Family Event Guide Expect a fun-filled few months ahead with these exciting family-friendly events taking place across the country this June and July.

BUDDING ARTISTS NATIONAL GALLERY WORKSHOPS

The Saturday Family Workshops provide a fun and free opportunity for families to enjoy creating and learning together through free activities. The National Gallery of Ireland, Merrion Square, Dublin, every Saturday at 3pm www.nationalgallery.ie SUMMER RISING Taking place from 4-14 June, Summer Rising is a fun celebration of art, music, performance and food events. All day-time activities free, and tickets starting from €15 for food and night-time events. Irish Museum of Modern Art, Royal Hospital, Kilmainham, Dublin www.imma.ie BODY & SOUL FESTIVAL Taking place from 19-21 June, Body&Soul’s ‘Soul Kids’ s a celebration of creativity, music, play and nature. Parents are asked to register online. Tickets can be purchased on 0818 719 300 or at www.ticketmaster.ie Ballinlough Castle, Westmeath www.bodyandsoul.ie/info/family-information

2 3

DON’T MISS!

LAYA HEALTHCARE’S CITY SPECTACULAR, MERRION SQUARE, DUBLIN, AND FITZGERALD PARK, CORK Laya Healthcare’s City Spectacular will take place 10-12 July in Merrion Square and 18-19 July in Fitzgerald Park. The festival headlines the very best street entertainers, from sword-swallowers and blind-folded chainsaw jugglers to fire eaters, as well as free children’s workshops in art, music, theatre and science. For more information go to www.cityspectacular.com

ENNIS STREET FESTIVAL, ENNIS, CLARE Running from 3-5 July, Ennis Street Festival sees the streets of Ennis come alive with fun, art, culture, heritage and festivities. Among the events will be an exhilarating and colorful mix of street entertainment, circus, theatre, poetry, comedy, music, dance, visual arts, street art, the local Art & Craft market and a duck race. For tickets, prices and more information go to www.ennisstreetfestival.com

WEXFORD MARITIME FESTIVAL, WEXFORD TOWN, WEXFORD

SPRAOI INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL OF STREET ARTS, WATERFORD CITY

On 20-21 June, Wexford Maritime Festival celebrates Wexford’s rich maritime heritage and Wexford-born Commodore John Barry, Father of the US Navy. Free family fun throughout the weekend includes maritime activities, visiting boats, artisan food, live music and entertainment. For more information go to www. wexfordmaritimefestival.ie

Taking place from the 31st July to 2nd August, Spraoi Festival features high-quality street art performers and musicians from all around the world, and a free and fun-packed programme that is perfect for families. For more information go to www.spraoi.com

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COMING UP!

DON’T MISS!

Eadaoin Murphy.

a children and adults, and features is a celebration of great writing for ival Fest Hay s Kell ular pop June 28 the for 25ek Landy, best known HAY FESTIVAL, KELLS, MEATH From Irish author and screenwriter Der ren and young adults, including child for ors auth ls of /kel -up line l.com ar stell go to www.hayfestiva ren’s books. For more information child of s serie sant Plea gery ldug Sku

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M&I

ESSENTIALS: 9 THINGS

WAYS TO SURVIVE A TRIP WITH KIDS TIME YOUR JOURNEY If you have a choice and if they will nap, schedule your journey for naptime. Trust us, it’s easier. BRING TOYS Pack a small bag of portable toys like a picture book, travel game, colouring book or lacing board. Dole these out at regular intervals.

CHECK THE PHYSICAL STUFF Thirsty, tired and hungry kids are fractious, moany pains in the neck. Make sure they are fed, watered and well rested! PACK A PICNIC Bring portable snacks and mini bottles of water to keep the troops happy. It’ll save having to stop at shops or worse, buying from the airline menu.

BRING A BALL If you are embarking on a long journey, pack a ball so you can stop and get a bit of fresh air and exercise along the way. SCHEDULE SOME BREAKS If you can, plan some breaks in your journey, eg decide to stop at a landmark or town. If on a plane, the natural breaks are mealtimes.

BE PATIENT Make sure you’re well rested yourself and have oodles of patience. You’ll need it. HAVE FUN Find your inner child and play games like I Spy and Spot the Car. Sing songs and tell stories.

GAUGE THEIR MOOD If you think a tantrum or a sibling fight is brewing, stop and spend a few minutes with them. It’s far better to stop for a few minutes than spend half an hour trying to calm down a screaming child.

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Tamara Ecclestone demonstrates how much kit you need to travel with a baby!

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12 ESSENTIALS: PREGNANCY & NEW MUM

ways to involve your partner in your pregnancy Morning sickness, kicks, heartburn and hormones – you’re not allowed forget you’re pregnant for a second! But what about your partner? Here are eight simple ways to involve your partner as much as possible.

BUGGY LUST

These babies will get you fit too. Fact.

BUGABOO RUNNER

Go to each appointment together

If your partner does not already, encourage them to accompany you on as many doctor’s appointments as they can. Seeing an image of the little baby you are both soon to care and nurture on the sonogram screen, or hearing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time, are very special moments, and sharing them will allow both you and your partner feel connected to your baby and share in the wonder and excitement of soon meeting the little one.

during this time and get the chance to talk about how your week went and how you are both feeling. Talking one to one without the busy buzz of baby preparation in the background will keep you connected to each other, and overall allow your partner to feel connected to how you are feeling through your pregnancy. Remember at the start that there was two of you, and when the babies have grown and flown the nest, you’ll be back to being two again, so keeping your relationship alive is possibly the most important tip of all.

Purchase baby things together

While the temptation and excitement of buying cute baby clothes or adorable accessories may be strong, try to not to buy everything alone. Make a list of what you like when you see it and decide to return later with your partner to ask their opinion and purchase your baby gear together. This will make them feel involved in the preparation for the baby, and it will also allow for you both to bond as an expectant couple and share your excitement together.

Don’t forget date night

Set aside a night a week for a date with your partner to keep a close focus on your relationship. Communicate with each other

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Share the baby kicks

Getting your partner to feel the baby kicking and talking about the future when baby comes will make them feel more involved. Envisioning the future is a great way to get excited and come together as an expectant couple, and feeling your little one kick will give your partner an exciting insight into some of the things that you feel throughout your pregnancy. Tip: baby kicks are usually stronger in the mornings when you are waking up – ideal time for your partner to give you and baby a cuddle.

Put them in charge!

Don’t worry, not of everything! Give them a job to do to prepare for baby’s arrival. For

instance, get the baby room ready, build the cot or crib, paint a room. Getting your partner physically preparing for the baby’s arrival will help them stay connected with and excited for the new arrival.

Share the baby books

Decorate baby’s room together

Have some fun together

Whenever you pick up a baby book for yourself to read, get one for your partner too. Even better, read bits to them, such as the weekly update, so your partner begins to understand how the baby is growing and what is happening inside your body. Let them share in the excitement of a new baby growing inside you.

As the months go by and your baby’s arrival becomes more imminent, start to plan together how you want baby’s room to look. Pick a colour to paint the room, choose toys and furniture together and decide on decorative features as a couple.

Whether it’s making lists of your favourite names, attending baby classes together or starting a baby book/photo album, doing fun things together to celebrate your pregnancy will connect you both more to your pregnancy.

Runners will love the new Bugaboo Runner (€710 for chassis, seat and adaptors), which features air-filled tyres and a suspension system to absorb any bumps in rough terrain. A speed-control brake along the entire handlebar allows you to adjust your speed with either hand, and the fixed, three-wheeled base is nice and light for easy steering. Plus there’s the option of your child facing outwards or facing you. Bugaboo owners can buy the chassis as an accessory for €400, and click their existing Bugaboo seat into the jogging chassis. Clever! For babies aged nine months and upwards, see www.bugaboo.com for more.

ICANDY PEACH ALL-TERRAIN The latest release from iCandy, the iCandy Peach All-Terrain (€740.89) is a full-on travel system that is suitable for birth but is light and clever enough to allow you to get your exercise too. The quick release, front swivel wheel ensures your child will experience the smoothest ride possible no matter how bumpy the terrain. The system also features air-filled tyres, and a compact one-hand fold for swift collapsing when on the go. Even better, the easy-lift, lie-flat carrycot is suitable for overnight sleeping, which makes it perfect for adventures abroad. Available in colours Sneaker and Toucan; see www.iCandyworld.com for more.

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14 ESSENTIALS: HEALTH

SUMMER MEDICAL ESSENTIALS A good summer for kids involves lots of running, jumping, skipping, muddy puddles, beachy tumbles, briars, trees and sunshine. You’d better make sure you’re well versed in first aid and stocked up on all the essentials… bandaging to avoid putting pressure on the object itself. Get the person to hospital as quickly as possible.

Kids eh? Turn your back for a second and they’re scaling a wall or hanging perilously out of the top bough of a tree. Even children who take care of themselves end up needing a bit of medical attention from their parents at some stage over the summer, and knowing the basics of first aid, plus having a comprehensive first-aid kit at hand, is essential for peace of mind and could even save a life. Advice courtesy of the Red Cross.

Help! My child has stopped breathing!

Help! My child is choking! If an infant is unable to breathe, cough or cry and you suspect they have a severe obstruction in their throat, lay them face down on your forearm, with head low and supporting the body and head. Give up to five back blows between the shoulder blades with the heel of your hand. If the obstruction is still present, turn the infant around, give up to five chest thrusts, with two fingers in the middle of the chest. Continue this cycle of five back blows and five chest thrusts and if the obstruction still doesn’t clear, call an ambulance – but don’t leave the infant unattended. Continue the sequence until help arrives. Anyone who has been treated for choking in

this way should see their doctor after the incident.

Help! My child has burnt herself! It can happen in a second and oh so easily, maybe spilling some boiling water or touching a hot oven. Don’t panic and follow this advice from the Red Cross. Cool minor burns under cold running water. Cover with clean cling film or a loose sterile (non-fluffy) bandage. Seek medical assistance if you are unsure of the severity of the burn.

Help! My child fell and is bleeding severely! Cuts and grazes can be easily

treated (our resident LloydsPharmacy pharmacist has some great advice on p85), but if the wound is a lot more serious, you may need to administer some emergency attention before calling for help. The Red Cross offers the following advice. Treat any blood loss as quickly as possible, wearing disposable gloves if available. If there is NOTHING embedded in the wound, press on the wound with your hand over a clean pad. Secure with a bandage and raise the wound above the level of the heart. Call for ambulance. If SOMETHING is embedded, do not press on the object. Instead, press either side of the object and build up padding around it before

If your child is showing no signs of life, place her on her back on a firm and flat surface before performing CPR. Tilt the infant’s head back slightly and lift the chin. Check for breathing. If she is not breathing, give two small rescue breaths through the mouth, covering the nose. If the infant is a baby, these breaths should only last about a second each. If the chest doesn’t rise, there is something caught in the airway, so follow the instructions for choking. Place the pads of two or three fingers just below an imaginary line linking the child’s nipples. Smoothly and firmly, press down about 1.5 inches, at a rate of about 100 a minute. Complete 30 chest compressions. Repeat two rescue breaths. Continue this routine until help arrives. Irish Red Cross First Aid courses are run around Ireland each week. Prices start at €80 depending on course length and type. For more details call 1890 502 502 or visit www.redcross.ie

FIRST AID ESSENTIALS

A DECENT FIRST-AID KIT IS HANDY FOR ANY HOME, BUT ESSENTIAL WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS. HERE’S WHAT IT SHOULD CONTAIN. Paracetamol or ibroprofen (Calpol or Nuofen)

Antibacterial ointment

for pain relief

Home burns spray or gel

Bandages, including a roll of elastic

Thermometer

wrap and plasters in assorted sizes

Hand sanitiser

Instant cold packs

Calamine lotion

Disposable latex or synthetic gloves

Over-the-counter antihistamine

First-aid manual

Dioralyte for diarrhoea

Sterile eyewash, such as a saline solution

Syringe and spoon

Triangular bandage

Over-the-counter hydrocortisone cream

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…

NUK is a registered trademark of MAPA GmbH/Germany

“Sometimes kissing it … better just isn’t enough”

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For high temperatures and fevers: the NUK Baby Thermometer 2in1 If your baby’s temperature rises, it’s not always a reason to worry, but you should carefully watch for any changes in your child’s condition. NUK developed an infrared thermometer just for this – the NUK Baby Thermometer 2in1. It lets you take your child’s temperature, either in the ear or by touching the temple, giving results in seconds. An LED light tells you whether your child has a temperature or not, a green light gives the all clear but a red light means a lot of tender loving care and maybe even a trip to the doctor is needed. By the way the thermometer also measures room temperature as well as that of baby food and bath water. For more information visit nuk.com.

NUK. Understanding Life. Available in pharmacies nationwide. 29/05/2015 19/05/2015 14:26 15:56

16 ESSENTIALS: KIDS

HOW DO I DEAL WITH TODDLER TANTRUMS? Toddlers throw tantrums. Fact. Mammies are driven demented. Another fact. We asked our readers what strategies they adopted to deal with the inevitable meltdowns – and when they outgrew the tantrums (please don’t say 18…) “The only thing that worked with Daniel was to stay calm. Easier said than done, I know, but I found that Daniel would get so worked up that he’d frighten himself and by staying calm I reassured him that he was safe and it was a lot easier then for him to regain control of himself.” Gail, mum to Daniel, 3 “Distraction and reading the situation are key when it comes to tantrums in public places. I became an expert in recognising when Ella was about to flip, and if I caught it in time, I was able to distract her from the meltdown by changing location or pointing something out to her. Mind you, when the tantrum is about something as silly as the colour of a wall, it’s a bit difficult to predict and prevent!” Sinead, mum to Ella, 2 “Izzy always threw a strop when it was time to leave the playground; it got to the stage when it was expected as part of the routine! Eventually we used to warn her when it was time to leave, for instance, last time on the slide, then choose one last item to have a go on. We’d also make a big deal out of where we were going next. Being firm, letting her have a choice in a final activity and getting her excited about the next activity all helped to tame the inevitable tantrum.” Mary, mum to Izzy, 3 “Just accept that it’s a phase and it will pass. Eventually. Take a deep breath, try to calm them down by whatever means necessary and rest assured that we’ve all been there. Ignore the stares and just get on with it. Repeat after me: this too will pass!” Jane, mum to Charlie, 6, and Rosie, 4

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NEW ON THE MARKET Successfully quashed the tantrums for good? Reward your child with one of these top toys.

Play-Doh Sweet Shoppe Swirl and Scoop Ice Cream, €19.99 Continue the summer feeling with this clever Play-Doh ice-cream shop, even when it’s raining outside. The easy-squeeze handle creates perfect soft ice creams, while the h alf moulds are perfect for decorating.

4 in 1 Games, €16.99, ELC @ Mothercare Ensure that any trip to the park is full of fun this summer with this pack of outdoor games. Bring some sambos and make a day of it, safe in the knowledge that the kids will be happy (until they bicker over the skipping rope).

“Jack threw tantrums because he knew it would get our attention. So I started ignoring him. I just walked away and let him get on with it. He soon twigged after the third or the fourth time that his strops weren’t getting the desired effect.” Maria, mum to Jack, 4 “Be firm. Stick to your guns and don’t give in. Have a definite way of dealing with tantrums and make sure your partner and childcare provider is onboard with it too. If you all follow the same way of dealing with the tantrum, your child will know exactly what will happen and hopefully they will think twice before throwing one.” Rachel, mum to Daisy, 2, and Nicholas, 5

“After your child has calmed down, try talking to them about why they threw a tantrum and try to empathise with their anger. But suggest a better way to deal with a problem than throwing a strop. It can take a while, but I found I understood my child a good deal better – and was better placed to predict and deal with a potential meltdown.” Jo, mum to Oran, 8, Caitlin, 6, Eoin, 4, and Jamie, 18 months.

Duktig Fruit Basket, €8.25, Ikea Add a little nutritional education into your toddler’s shop play with this nine-piece soft fruit basket from Ikea. Maybe even use it as an opening gambit for trying new fruits (turn the page for more fussy eater tips!)

“I feel like throwing a strop sometimes myself! Unfortunately I’m 31, not 3. I’m holding firm to the notion that kids throw strops because they can, and when they realise that tantrums are not socially acceptable, they will stop. Eventually.” Siobhan, mum to Ben, 3

28/05/2015 14:25

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14/05/2015 15:10 11:52 28/05/2015 15/05/2015 15:28

18 ESSENTIALS: FAMILY LIFE

HOW TO RAISE A FOODIE… …or, how to avoid the daily battle at the dinner table. Cliodhna Prendergast, pictured, of kids’ food website Breaking Eggs (http://breakingeggs.com/) has some sage advice. Breastfeeding, weaning, lumps… sometimes it feels like feeding your child is like entering a warzone day after day. But a little (okay, a lot) of patience, turning mealtimes into a family event, and some clever little strategies can turn your kid from food phobic to food lover. Try these tips from Cliodhna…

Get them interested in food and cooking Don’t forget it’s not just about food, it’s also about connecting with your kids. While they are having a bit of fun and have your attention they often open up and tell you what is really on their mind. Get tactile with food and allow them to experiment with food, even if it’s only for play. Start some family traditions based around food that they get excited about. An expedition always helps, picking blackberries, apples, mushrooms (carefully), bringing it home and actually making something with it gives them an enormous sense of satisfaction. Make yeast bread: they see the yeast working, play with the dough, watch the bread rising and then the ultimate, eating warm bread with melting butter!

Play the long game I truly believe that food and the family table is all about playing the long game. It’s about knowing and seeing where our ingredients come from, being involved in the gathering of them, even if that is simply going to the market, and helping out occasionally in the preparation of those foods for family meals. You, as a parent or guardian, are teaching them a fundamental life skill and you should be very proud of that.

Celebrate their independence Babies usually accept foods at weaning stage, but at some point between two and three, they realise they can make their own decisions and let you know quite

MI June_July 2015_News.indd 18

clearly that they are not going to put that avocado near their lips. Remember, they will not starve. I am convinced that, as difficult as it is, you need to remember this is a positive stage of growing up. Try to remember that this is more about the ability to make decisions than the fact they don’t like your food. If there are older children at the table make them aware that they must not make a big fuss if they don’t like something, so their younger sibling doesn’t mimic them.

Be understanding We must also remember that children bring other emotional issues to the table with them, when they have optimum attention. They often express anxiety about something else by protesting about the food. Try having a quiet chat and find out if anything else is upsetting them, or try to take their mind off dinner completely.

Then when they are in better form, introduce it again gently, minus the offending item on their plate.

BIG FAMILY V LITTLE FAMILY

Have some patience

“Having just one child means that we can be sure that Olly gets as much as we’re able to give him – including our attention. He won’t be lonely because he has lots of friends and an extended family. The size of your family is not just about how many babies you have.” Katy, mum to Olly, 5

Remember that as a child there were some things that you simply didn’t like. If a big fuss has not been made, your child might try it again one day and realise it wasn’t so bad after all. In the meantime, teach them about the touch, feel and smell of things they don’t like without making them eat it. For example if it is broccoli, show them how the little florets branch out from the stem so perfectly, like a little tree, all different sizes yet all the pieces seem so neatly arranged on top. My little six year old is not keen on fruit but she knows an apple smells really sweet and looks all shiny and smooth and thinks that some day she will eat one! And for now, that has to be good enough for me.

“I love having a big, bustling family and a noisy house! Yes, it’s hectic, but there’s always something going on and it’s so lovely seeing the kids growing up as a little gang and knowing they’ll always be there for each other. One downside though: the vomiting bug!!!” Jennifer, mum of five children under the age of nine

28/05/2015 14:26

Another little helping hand for mums • 69% of pregnant women and new mums experience light bladder weakness* • Absorb faster than ordinary liners • Lock in moisture and control odour with FeelFresh Technology™

™ ! ts n e m o m s p o for those Ooo

*Source: lights by TENA Myriad Survey 2014

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28/05/2015 22/05/2015 15:11 16:54

20 ESSENTIALS: TOYS

ABOVE Aquadiver sharky fishing set, €14.95, Imaginarium BELOW Little Tikes gas ’n’ go mower, €25, Littlewoods

Kids paint your own birdhouse, €20.65, Cuckooland ABOVE: Step 2 shady oasis sand and water table, €69.99, Smyths BELOW Chad Valley crab baby pool and ball pit, €13.49, Argos

LEFT: Blue Lawnmower, €21.99; Blue Wheelbarrow, €22.99, Early Learning Centre @ Mothercare

THE GREAT OUTDOORS Grown-up ‘scramble and slide’ play centre, €160, Littlewoods

It’s finally summer so time to get the kids playing outside (and out of your hair!) Make the most of the good weather with these fun outdoor toys.

ABOVE: Knights Castle Playhouse, from €214.06, Cuckooland. BELOW Egg and spoon race, €9.99, Early Learning Centre @ Mothercare

ABOVE: Forest Balanceo bug rocker, €14.95, Imaginarium. RIGHT Kids bug collecting box and magnifying glass, €17.89, Cuckooland

MI June_July 2015_News.indd 20

28/05/2015 14:26

Home is the place where memories are made. There are 5,000 people homeless in Ireland. One in seven people accessing homeless services is a child. By remembering Focus Ireland in your Will, you can provide more people with a place to call home, a place to create their own happy memories. We understand that when making your Will, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll want to care for those closest to you first, but once you have, any contribution to Focus Ireland can make such a big difference. Please contact Pauline Costello in Focus Ireland, in complete confidence, on 01 881 5900. Thank you.

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28/05/2015 27/05/2015 15:12 10:43

22 ESSENTIALS: BOOKS

TELLING TALES Reviewed by Anne Whelton and Linda Crosbie For great children’s book reviews, competitions, recommendations and interviews with some of your favourite authors and illustrators,

PICK OF THE PILE

visit Gobblefunked.com

Wild By Emily Hughes (Flying Eye Books), €9.50 (paperback) We’re big fans of children’s publishers Flying Eye Books, who have been producing some of the most visually stunning picture books on the market over the past number of years. One of their latest releases in paperback is Wild by Emily Hughes, which is both disarmingly quirky and gorgeous. Wild tells the story of a little girl who has known nothing but nature from birth. Much like The Jungle Book’s Mowgli, bears taught this little girl how to eat, birds taught her how to speak and foxes taught her how to play — she is truly wild. That is, until one day she meets an animal that looks oddly like her … We like … The stunning illustrations They’ll love … The wild little protagonist, who like some others I’m sure we all know, doesn’t much like having her hair brushed or face washed.

CLASSICS FOR ALL AGES

3You+ years Can’t Take an

3All+ years Aboard the

By Patricia Cleveland-Peck, illustrated by David Tazzyman (Bloomsbury Children’s Books), €13.68 (hardback)

By Timothy Knapman, illustrated by Ed Eaves (Bloomsbury Children’s Books), €13.68 (hardback)

As the title suggests, it’s never a good idea to try to squeeze an elephant onto a bus; and it would be equally unwise to put a camel on a sailing boat. Luckily, it’s rather a good idea to pick up a copy of this book if you want to keep mischievous little minds busy this summer. Wonderfully light-hearted, we are particularly charmed by David Tazzyman’s illustrations. We like … The hilarious rhyming text. They’ll love … Laughing at the animals finding themselves in the most unusual of places!

There’s dinosaur fever in the air at the moment with the release of Jurassic World on June 10th; and luckily we have our own little taste of the dinosaur pie with All Aboard the Dinosaur Express. Bursting with bright colours to hold your little one’s attention and with plenty of educational insights into our prehistoric friends, this charming picture book makes a lovely summer-time read for both animal and train-loving children alike. We like … The educational metaphors. They’ll love … The brightly coloured illustrations.

Elephant on the Bus

MI June_July 2015_News.indd 22

Dinosaur Express

+ 3Please yearsMr Panda

+ 3Miss years Hazeltine’s Home

By Steve Antony (Hodder Children’s Books), €16.58 (hardback)

for Shy and Fearful Cats By Alicia Potter, illustrated by Birgitta Sif (Walker Books), €16.58 (hardback)

Panda has a tray of lovely colourful doughnuts. Despite saying he wants to share them with everyone, when animal after animal ask him for one and he doesn’t hand over the tasty treats, it starts to look like maybe Panda is greedy and wants them all to himself! That is until one clever Lemur politely asks Mr Panda if he could ‘please have a doughnut’. Luckily, that does just the trick … We like … That Panda doesn’t give in until he hears the ‘magic word’. They’ll love … Mr Panda’s grumpy face!

It’s tough being a scaredy cat, and the cats at Miss Hazeltine’s Home know exactly how tough it can be! There are cats who are terrified of mice; cats who can’t pounce; and cats who won’t purr. Luckily, Miss Hazeltine has plenty of room for all of these cats and she’s determined to teach them about conquering fear. She has her work cut out for her with Crumb, however, the most timid and fearful of all of her charges; can she bring little Crumb out of his shell? You’ll have to read this charming book to find out! We like … The underlying message about being brave. They’ll love … All of Miss Hazeltine’s scaredy cats and their ridiculous fears!

28/05/2015 14:27

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29/05/2015 12:44

24 THE BURNING ISSUE

OUR SURVEY We surveyed 100 maternity & infant readers to get their opinions on the infant immunisation schedule.

Have you ever been asked for proof of vaccinations (eg by a crèche or a school)?

43 % 57 % YES

96%

of you completed/are you planning to complete the full schedule of vaccinations

Do you think there should be penalties for parents who don’t vaccinate their children?

67 % 33 % YES

of you think vaccinations are safe.

Do you think crèches and schools should check that vaccinations are up to date for all pupils?

MI June_July 2015_Vaccinations.indd 24

% YES

28/05/2015 11:46

25 THE BURNING ISSUE

VACCINATIONS

ESSENTIAL OR A RISKY BUSINESS? Rarely does a subject prompt more emotive responses than the subject of vaccinations – supporters say that parents who don’t immunise are irresponsible, while those who don’t say they won’t risk perceived side effects. But who is right? We talk to the experts to dispel any myths once and for all.

he first couple of weeks after having a baby can be quite challenging, what with lack of sleep, getting to grips with breastfeeding and learning to live with a brand-new baby. There are also lots of official things to do, such as registering your baby with the State and going through the usual checks with your doctor and the public health nurse. Added to this is the childhood immunisation schedule, which can look incredibly long and involved for a first-time new mum, who may, perfectly naturally, be a little wary of her tiny infant receiving so many jabs. These worries are naturally worsened by the suggestion that these vaccines could have potentially harmful side effects – but do they really? The vaccination schedule for babies is long and busy, but according to Dr Brenda Corcoran from the HSE National Immunisation Office, all vaccines are necessary and given as early as possible to protect very vulnerable babies from potentially dangerous diseases. “The baby schedule consists of five GP visits,” she explains. “When a baby completes that schedule they are fully vaccinated for that age, but there are further vaccines when they start school, and then when they start secondary school. These are what we call age-appropriate vaccines. Some are booster vaccines and others are new, for instance the HPV vaccine given to girls at secondary school to protect against cervical cancer. This is a routine vaccine for all girls in First Year, and it’s given alongside booster vaccines for diseases they were vaccinated against as babies.” Naturally, a new mother is concerned about potential side effects, but Dr Corcoran says that these are rare and the vast majority of babies should complete the schedule. “There are very few children who shouldn’t be vac-

MI June_July 2015_Vaccinations.indd 25

cinated. If a child has had a very severe allergic reaction to a vaccination, they should not be given it again, but this is extremely rare. The other group who shouldn’t be given some vaccines are children who, for example, are being treated for cancer or have some sort of immune problem – these children shouldn’t be given live vaccines like the MMR vaccine, as the vaccine might cause them more issues because their immune system is so poor. This is unusual and looked at on a case-by-case basis, and in the case of being treated for cancer, you’d wait until the treatment was finished before giving the MMR vaccine.” A high temperature is the only reason to postpone a vaccination, and in that case, the parent should wait a few days until their baby is better and then get the vaccine. The important thing is to catch up with the schedule as soon as possible. The vaccinations given are to protect against certain diseases that can have serious consequences for babies, and Dr Corcoran says that opting out of the immunisation schedule could have serious consequences, not just for your child but also for those around her. “One of two things can happen. The baby may be never exposed to the disease and be fine, or the baby may be exposed to the disease and it’s highly likely they’ll get it as some of the diseases we vaccinate against are highly infectious, for instance, whooping cough and measles are highly infectious. They can be quite sick with these diseases, and some babies need to be hospitalised, and they could lead to other conditions like pneumonia. Plus they could pass on the disease to other children who haven’t been vaccinated.” Some cautious parents think that if these diseases are relatively rare in Ireland, why are we still immunising? But facts and figures tell

28/05/2015 11:46

26 THE BURNING ISSUE

COMMENTS We asked the 100 readers who took part in our survey for their comments on vaccinations - here’s what they said.

“I firmly believe that vaccinations should be made compulsory in this country. As parents, we spend so much of our time worrying about all the bad things that could happen to our children and doing everything we can to keep them safe. So it baffles me why some parents opt out of an opportunity to protect their children from serious and life-threatening diseases through a simple injection!!” “All children should be vaccinated... it is negligent not to vaccinate a child and also creates a risk to others with outbreaks of infections putting the vulnerable at risk.” “There are no side effects and they can only help protect the child from serious illness. I can’t understand why anyone would choose not to vaccinate their child, it’s bad parenting and irresponsible as other children will then be effected.” “I think vaccines in the Western World are needless – giving newborns and little children these are damaging them permanently.” “They are absolutely necessary to provide herd immunity for unfortunate children who suffer other disorders.” “I believe the risk of not getting them far outweighs the risk of the alleged autism post vaccination claim. I also strongly believe that the Men B should be put on the immunisation schedule ASAP. There needs to be a bigger campaign to promote the benefits of having children immunised so that parents who are scared of the risks are more educated on the bigger risks of not getting vaccinated.”

MI June_July 2015_Vaccinations.indd 26

a different story. According to the HSE, so far this year there have been 1,042 cases of mumps, compared with only 191 cases in 2014. Since 2012 there have been more than 700 cases of pertussis (whooping cough) in Ireland, with more than 200 cases in babies less than six months of age. “It’s important to realise that these diseases haven’t gone away, and some can affect children badly,” says Dr Corcoran. “For instance, whooping cough can affect very young babies badly. And even if some diseases are no longer in Ireland, such as polio, through travel they can be brought to Ireland, and it’s important that we are protected against these diseases.” There is also the question of ‘herd immunity’, as Dr Corcoran explains. “Some children can’t be vaccinated, and in the case of the MMR vaccines, it’s not given to children under a year because it doesn’t work as well. So these children are not protected, but we can make sure that the other people around them are vaccinated by vaccinating older children. So that protects those people who can’t be protected by vaccines. This is herd immunity, but this only works well if people are vaccinated; if they are not, those who cannot be vaccinated may be exposed to these diseases.” Parents who choose not to immunise say their decision was made because of potential side effects, but Dr Corcoran says that these are rare. “Vaccines have very few side effects. The most common would be soreness at the site of the injection. For babies that’s usually the leg, and for older children, that’s the arm. This can start a day or two after the vaccine and last for a few days. Usually paracetamol or ibuprofen will take away any discomfort. The baby may have a slight temperature or be a little irritable; again this can happen a day or two after the vaccine and last for a day or two. Again, paracetamol or ibuprofen can be used. “Babies can get a “mini measles”, a rash 6-10 days later, or a “mini mumps,” swollen glands under the jaw about three weeks after the MMR vaccine. These aren’t infectious and need no treatment - they’re signs that the vaccine is working. They generally disappear after a few days. Any other side effects are extremely rare. “All parents receive a 48-page booklet, Your Child’s Immunisation - A Guide for Parents, with all the information about the vaccines, usually from the public health nurse on their first baby visit, and after each vaccination they receive a leaflet outlining what to expect after vaccination and what to do. That information is also readily available on our website, www. immunisation.ie, and copies of the booklet can be requested at any time.” Some parents cite a study that suggested a link between vaccines and autism, but Dr Corcoran is adamant that there is no link. “We know that vaccinations do not cause autism,

MS, hyperactivity, diabetes… any of these side effects. This all goes back to a 1998 study, by a man called Andrew Wakefield, who made a link between a very very small number of children alleging that the MMR vaccine caused autism and bowel disease. But studies since then, which have looked at millions of children all over the world, have shown that the risk of autism is the same among children who have been immunised as children who haven’t. Many international organisations including the UK regulatory body looked into the studies that alleged there was a link and found that they weren’t scientifically sound. At the end of a long investigation, they concluded that Andrew Wakefield had not complied with the regulatory body’s professionalism and they removed him from the UK medical register.” The impact of this study, and the publicity around it, had devastating effects in Ireland. “We need our MMR uptake rate to be 95% to stop the spread of disease but at the time it dropped to 69%, and as a consequence we had a measles outbreak in North Dublin, where we had 1,600 cases of measles and three children died. That can be put down to parents’ concern about vaccinations in the wake of the study and subsequent low uptake rate.” There have been many reports about countries introducing penalties for parents who don’t immunise, but Dr Corcoran says that there are no plans to follow suit in Ireland. “No vaccination is compulsory in Ireland, and I can’t imagine we would ever do this, but we try and arm parents with as much information as possible, in as easily understood a way as possible. We do hope that by providing the information, parents will choose to vaccinate. Our MMR uptake rate is now up to 93% so we’re almost at the key rate, and the other vaccinations are at 96%, so parents do understand the value of the vaccinations.” There are a few other vaccines available for children, but parents do have to pay for these if they want to avail of them. “The expert panel has recommended two other vaccines,” says Dr Corcoran. “One is called Rotovirus, which is an oral vaccine and protects against gastroenteritis, and the other is the Men B vaccine, which protects against the serious form of meningitis. Both have been recommended, and the HSE is hoping for funding to introduce them. Some parents are choosing to get them, but they have to pay for them themselves.”

A new version of the HSE’s immunisation book is available in July, as there has been a revision to the schedule for babies born from July 2015 onwards. All information on immunisation schedules for babies and older children can be found on the HSE website, www. immunisation.ie

28/05/2015 11:53

Immunisation Schedule for children born on or after 1st July 2015 At birth

AGE

WHERE

6 12 13

months

HSE clinic or maternity hospital

GP surgery Visit 1

GP surgery Visit 2

GP surgery Visit 3

GP surgery Visit 4

GP surgery Visit 5

BCG

6 in 1 + PCV

6 in 1 + MenC

6 in 1 + PCV

MMR + PCV

MenC + Hib

1 INJECTION

2 INJECTIONS

VACCINATION

REMEMBER Your child needs 5 GP visits. Bring your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s immunisation passport to each visit.

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22/05/2015 15:14 12:31 28/05/2015 19/05/2015 14:53

28 DADDY MY WAY

“I MIGHT BE

DOING IT ALL WRONG,

BUT AS LONG AS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I GET

A HUG OR A KISS, A SMILE WHEN I COLLECT THEM FROM SCHOOL OR TRAINING,

EVERYTHING’S OKAY.” Alan Herbert is a stay-at-home dad to three boys and a little baby girl. This Father’s Day all he wants is a hug and a kiss from the kids who made his world complete. Follow his parenting adventures at http://babypinkandtheboys.blogspot.ie

knew from an early age I wanted to be a dad. It was all I really wanted, a family of my own. I was brought up by adoptive parents with my sister after being abandoned by my mother and put into an orphanage by my father, and I vowed that when I had children, they would be brought up by their mother and I together. In 2007 I met my current girlfriend. She had two boys, aged four and three. I got on great with the boys and before we knew it, she was pregnant. I was delighted, but on St. Stephen’s Day she miscarried. This didn’t hit me too hard. Looking back I think it was because there had been no scan. To me it wasn’t real, as I’d only seen lines on a test. Earlier than we had planned she became pregnant again, and so began the hardest nine months I’d ever known. She has epilepsy and it seemed like every few weeks she was taking fits. We were back and forth to hospital to check baby wasn’t being adversely affected by the seizures. Luckily all was ok, and on November 29th, 2008, my son was born. When the midwife carried him into the room I took one look at him and for the first time I knew what love really was. During the pregnancy I had to leave my job because of all the time I needed to take off. I went from being a supervisor in a call centre to a stay-at-home dad and carer. The middle boy had been diagnosed with autism. It’s taken time to adjust. I’m not good when I have time. Housework isn’t my favourite thing and of course the drop in income is really hard to get used to. My son is now six, going on 15. His brothers are 11 and 10 now. We are reaching puberty and rebellion with them. It hurts to be told, ‘you’re not my father, you can’t tell me what to do!’ I know they don’t mean it. I used to say the same to my adoptive

MI June_July 2015_DaddyMyWay.indd 28

parents. Under my breath of course. It was a different time back then. If I was bold I got a smack or a whack with a belt, and I’d never dream of hitting my children now. I would hate to have them living in fear and scared to come to me. Now #BabyPink has arrived! We were told first that it could be a girl and I was terrified. I clung on to the hope it was a boy. I know boys: soccer, hurling, rough and tumble. I didn’t think I’d know what to do with a girl. They are small and delicate! Silly of me I know. She is a beautiful bouncing girl. A cheeky smile, a glint in the eye. I know that the next few years will have ups and downs. Tears and tantrums. Visits to A&E, dentist, doctor. Hurling training, soccer, matches, karate and now ballet, Irish dancing and shopping. Trips to friend’s houses. More shopping. I might be doing it all wrong, but as long as every once in a while I get a hug or a kiss, a smile when I collect them from school or training, everything’s okay. A little hand holding mine when they are scared or climbing into bed when the wind and rain is beating off the windows, I’ll be happy. I don’t want a big card, expensive clothes or gifts this Father’s Day. A kiss, a hug and I love you Daddy will do for me. And maybe an extra half an hour in bed before I’m needed to resolve a dispute over the TV, fix a laptop, reset the internet or catch the dog someone let out by accident. It sounds corny but it’s true. The children are my world. As long as I have them I can live with the fact I drive a ‘97 people carrier. My clothes are old and unfashionable and let’s not mention the soles coming off my shoes. Nothing like that matters anymore as long as the kids are happy and healthy.

28/05/2015 11:26

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29/05/2015 28/05/2015 08:51 10:01

30 DAD’S DIARY

FIRST DATES NICK WILKINSON on the intricacies of play dates – and sees his house through his daughter’s eyes when she takes her friend on a tour of their home.

t was my daughter’s first real play date. She has had cousins and the children of our friends over to play. Even had a few sleepovers. But this was the first time one of her montessori friends was coming to hang out. Let’s call him Luke. We’d never met Luke before. But it was clear for days beforehand that our girl was out to impress him. Sleeps were counted down. Multiple costume changes arranged. Organising the date with his parents was strangely complicated. Verbal requests first. I ignored these. My daughter is an experienced fibber, so when she told me that she had invited Luke to play and that his mother had agreed, I assume that she was lying. But then her teacher confirmed the arrangement. It was all a bit clandestine. Notes and phone numbers exchanged in car parks. Notes handed back via the teacher. Hushed conversations in case of last-minute cancellations. When I was a little older that her, I told my trusting teacher that my parents were waiting outside to take me to visit my grandparents. I then hid in a field behind the school until classes ended, before sneaking onto the bus and away home again. Maybe that’s why I don’t trust her until I see a note. So, I collected our daughter and her little friend, complete with his car seat, rain coat, wellingtons, change of clothes, snacks and other essentials. There may have been an emergency blanket in there too. The last time our son went on a play date, I forgot to send his shoes. Not just a spare pair – he arrived barefoot. I tried to cover up this oversight by explaining that he needed to let air at his athlete’s foot. He hasn’t been asked back to that house. When our daughter and her buddy arrived, Luke got a tour of the house. Every inch of it. He seemed like a nice enough kid, so I thought it best if I sent him home the way I got him. My daughter wore the outfit she keeps for state occasions – ball gown, slightly frayed around the hem. Luke wore his wellingtons. They went outside first. “That’s Ponky. He ate my mummy’s ring because he’s a donkey and he likes rubies. Well, he’s half pony really, that’s why we call him Ponky.” Luke eyed this equine specimen with all the authority of a seasoned breeder watching a thoroughbred in the parade ring. “Was his mum or dad the donkey?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” said my daughter, breezily. “But he bites.” Luke dropped the grass he was trying to shove into the creature’s mouth and stepped away from the fence. Next stop, the vegetable garden. I steered them away from the carpet of broken glass surrounding our twisted wreck of a greenhouse – recently decimated by a freak wind. “This is the veggie garden.” “Where are the veggies?” Asked Luke. “We haven’t got any because Daddy put the greenhouse up wrong and it fell over and all the glass smashed. Do you want to see inside it?” Luke’s eyes lit up at the sight of all the broken glass. I steered them away. “We got a potty tunnel instead,” said my daughter. They stepped inside our poly tunnel. “I don’t use a potty anymore,” said Luke. “I use the toilet.” “Me too,” said my daughter. “We’re going to put ours in here so we can sit on it and watch the carrots grow.” Our tour continued. The tree she fell out of. The trampoline where her cousin fell (or was pushed) off the ladder and dislocated his elbow. I think Luke began to realise that he had stumbled into the most dangerous place on earth. He asked if he could play with her brother’s toys. But their tour was not over. First to the basement. “This is where daddy and the builders live,” explained my daughter, showing Luke an impressive collection of used tea bags, chocolate bar wrappers and milk cartons scattered around the bin. From room to room, we went, all the while getting a new perspective on our home. Loose wiring, rusty nails, missing floorboards. I really should do another childproofing walk-through. We ended the tour at a warm, south-facing window upstairs. “This is where the butterflies come to die,” she said, holding up a desiccated wing. “And up there,” she pointed to a trap door leading to the attic. “That’s where the rats live.” I have no idea how all this was relayed to Luke’s parents. But my daughter is going to his house soon. I can’t wait to hear where their rats live.

“From room to room, we went, all the while getting a new perspective on our home. Loose wiring, rusty nails, missing floorboards. I really should do another child-proofing walk-through.”

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28/05/2015 11:25

31 TREND

MATERNITY

Style

Dress, €149, Beautiful Bumps

Summer has finally arrived, and it’s time to pack away the woollies and get out the t-shirts and the lovely dresses. If you’re pregnant this summer, staying cool is probably high on your list, and to this end we’ve picked out the very best in beachy maternity wear, whether you’re actually by the sea or not. Shorts can be embraced during every trimester, and we can’t emphasise enough how loose cotton layers are your best friend when it comes to dressing your bump in the sun. Plus, we look to Taylor Swift’s BFF Jaime King for hints on staying ontrend while staying cool in city heat.

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28/05/2015 11:41

32 TREND

Trimester Trends

Kick back this summer and relax your look with loose maternity shirts and comfy shorts. Getting your legs out means just one thing: time to soak up that sun!

LOOSE LAYERS

HIPPY CHIC

KEEP COOL

3 3 2

4 5

7 6

7 8

1 Printed blouse, €49.95, Zara 2 Twin pullon shorts by Boutique, €56, Topshop 3 Coin tassel trim straw trilby hat, €11.99, New Look 4 Cocoa Brown 1 Hour Tan, €7.99, Penneys 5 Chupi hawthorn twig infinity necklace, €139, Kilkenny 6 Orla Kiely tall linear floral stem classic zip shoulder bag, €149, Kilkenny 7 Collection espadrilles, €27, Marks & Spencer

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1 Necklace with shiny geometric pieces, €25.95, Zara 2 Maternity embroidered tassel front gypsy blouse, €22.99, New Look 3 Sally Hansen airbrush sun, €11.99, stockists nationwide 4 Under-the-bump denim maternity shorts, €49, Seraphine 5 Straw clutch, €9.99, H&M 6 Nails in Green Room, €8, Topshop 7 Slides, €19.99, H&M

1 Cream broderie panel v-neck t-shirt, €11.99, New Look 2 Handmade acetate round sunglasses, €52.05, ASOS 3 MAMA Patterned shorts, €14.99, H&M 4 3/4 sleeve lace detail maternity blazer, €49,95, Mamalicious 5 Beach bead foot chain, €10.96, ASOS 6 YSL Volume Effet Faux Cils, €31, Boots 7 Autograph self tan velvet touch luxe oil for face and body, €17, Marks & Spencer 8 Autograph self applicator mitt for face and body, €5, Marks & Spencer

28/05/2015 16:52

3323 TREND

happy

holidays

Swimwear can be intimidating at the best of times; even more so with a growing bump. The trick is to pack plenty of flowy kaftans and cover-ups; and wear solid colours and larger prints, both of which complement a woman’s shape. 12

11 1 2

9 8 3 6

10 4 5

10 7 8

7 6 1 Maternity hand crochet tunic dress, €76, ASOS 2 Green leaf print split side maxi dress, €22.99, New Look 3 Kath square sunglasses, €21.60, Accessorize 4 Mamalicious black grid check swimsuit, €32.99, New Look 5 Shopper, €14.99, H&M 6 Two-tone wide brim hat, €19.95, Zara 7 Adidas Originals adilette faux pony skin slider sandals, €68.49, ASOS 8 Relaxed maternity jeans, €119, Isabella Oliver 9 Maternity plunge v-neck cami, €22, Topshop 10 Multistrand necklace, €19.99, H&M 11 Patterned kaftan, € 19.99, H&M 12 Nursing swimwear, €62.39, Amoralia

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28/05/2015 15:59

34 TREND

Crochet Trilby hat, €5, Penneys

Lancôme Shine Lover lip colour, €26

Semiprecious and metals cuff, Freedom @ Topshop, €20 Bioderma Sensibio BB Cream, €17.50

STEAL HER

STYLE Jaime King nails the Seventies trend while staying cool in sweltering New York City. We’re stealing her ideas for perfect summer bump dressing this season.

We do love a happy ending, and former model and actress Jaime King has made us smile on more than one occasion recently. The Hart of Dixie actress is six months’ pregnant on Baby No.2, and had previously spoken out about her fertility woes, including five miscarriages and five rounds of IVF, before giving birth to her first baby, 18-month-old James Knight. No wonder she’s smiling. Not surprisingly, the stylish 35 year old is as fashion-forward as ever when it comes to maternity wear, nailing the Seventies trend in this cute crochet dress and hat.

White lace maternity dress, €64, Seraphine

South drape cardigan, €41, Littlewoods Ireland

GETTY IMAGES

M&S Collection Sunglasses, €20

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Pale pink cut-out brogues, €24.99, New Look

The Body Shop Honey Bronze Leg Mist, €25.95

28/05/2015 16:01

WE DON’T WANT TO SAVE CHILDREN’S LIVES Children’s lives shouldn’t need saving from entirely preventable causes. Every day tens of thousands of children worldwide die needlessly from illnesses such as measles, tetanus and diarrhoea. UNICEF wants you to help prevent these deaths. We believe that one child dying is one too many. We believe in zero and we desperately need your help. Call 01 878 3000 or visit unicef.ie today to give your support.

Believe in zero.

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28/05/2015 23/03/2015 15:19 12:31

36 TREND

Let’s go to

THE BEACH

It’s beachtime! Get your little ones ready to splash in the sea with these cute beach and swimwear items.

1 2

5 6

7 6 5

Girls: 1 Ice cream appliqué swimsuit (3mths-6yrs), from €15, Next 2 Baker by Ted Baker floppy sunhat (4-13yrs), from €16.75, Debenhams 3 bluezoo light turquoise fish swimsuit (12mths3yrs), from €15, Debenhams 4 bluezoo coral shell appliqué rash top and bottoms set, from €19.50. (18mths-3yrs), Debenhams 5 Pink spotty swimsuit (3mths-6 yrs), from €12, Next 6 Mini Nitzala flipflops (1-3yrs), €12.95, name it 7 Heart sunglasses, €12, Monsoon Boys: 1 Camouflage aviator sunglasses, €8, Mothercare 2 Appliqué boat swim shorts (3mths-6yrs), from €11, Next 3 Mini Nitzaksun deep blue car print swim shorts (1-4yrs), €11.95, name it 4 Habiscus swimming shorts (0-3yrs), €9.50, Mothercare 5 Mini Nitzunny towel (4mths-4yrs), €16.95, name it 6 Shark Keppi hat (1-8yrs), €8, Mothercare 7 bluezoo blue dinosaur rash vest and trunks set (18mths-3yrs), from €16.75, Debenhams 8 Blue jelly shoes (3mths-6yrs), from €9.50, Marks & Spencer

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28/05/2015 16:45

37 TREND

2 Blue stripe dress with broderie skirt (3-16yrs), from €22, Next

bluezoo pink sequin cherries t-shirt (12mths3yrs), from €9.75, Debenhams Two-pack shorts (316yrs), from €11, Next

Little Bird by Jools Oliver vintage cream and green track jacket (9mths-8yrs), €19, Mothercare

FUB Organic cotton knit baby straight pants in red, (3-18mths), €33, Mama Owl

stripes SUMMER

Monkey rucksack, €19, Marks & Spencer

Stripes are a trend that never fades! Revamp the classic nautical stripe with these bright summer versions.

2G LS appliqué tee, €5, Penneys

Two-pack pure cotton assorted shorts (17yrs), from €16, Marks & Spencer

Cardigan Karoo (2-12yrs), €129.90, Oilily

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Little Bird by Jools Oliver stripe dress (9mths-8yrs), €18, Mothercare

Shirt Tjendo (2yrs-10yrs), €44.90, Oilily

Corkbed sandals (3mths-6yrs), from €15, Next

28/05/2015 15:52

38 TREND 4 2 1

14 15

13 5

sunny IN YELLOW

Summer has arrived, and with it brighter weather. Dress your little one in sunny yellows to brighten up their wardrobe for a fresh, summer look.

10 8

1 Yellow lace dress (3mths-6yrs), from €34, Next. 2 Baby flower details walker sandal (0-3yrs), €21.50, Monsoon 3 Pants Pickles (2-12yrs ), €89.90, Oilily 4 Jersey Bee set (0-18mths), €18, Next 5 Ice and slice bag, €15, Monsoon 6 Baker by Ted Baker white chameleon pocket shirt (12mths-3yrs), from €22.50, Debenhams 7 Yellow skinny jeans (0-24mths), €14.40 , Mamas & Papas 8 White lace-up boots (3mths-6yrs), from €16, Next 9 Shirt Tyle (2-12yrs), €39.90, Oilily 10 Mini Nithane chino shorts (1-3yrs), €16.95, name it 11 Green giraffe long-sleeved tee (0-24mths), €10, Mamas & Papas 12 Hooded fisherman jacket (0-24mths), €24, Marks & Spencer; Assorted pure cotton three-pack t-shirts (0-24mths), €16, Marks & Spencer 13 J by Jasper Conran white skinny jeans (4-14yrs), from €21, Debenhams 14 Mini Nithua short-sleeved top (1-3yrs) €12.95, name it 15 Jurk Dorita cotton dress (2-12yrs), €109.90, Oilily

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28/05/2015 15:54

n • Win

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25/05/2015 15:20 09:07 28/05/2015

40 SUMMER FUN

SUMMER OF

2015

Summers were hot, never-ending, heady days of freedom when we were children. Ensure that your kiddies have the same happy memories from this summer with our round-up of the best activities, tips and tricks to make the most of the long days ahead.

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28/05/2015 11:31

41 SUMMER FUN

h summer. Remember the days when your mum would chase you out the front door after breakfast and you’d only return when you were hungry at the end of the day, exhausted and happy, your lungs full of fresh air and head full of adventures? Times may have changed, but while we mightn’t be overly keen on giving complete freedom to our children now, creating wonderful memories of childhood summers is definitely achievable with a bit of imagination and some organisation. Our babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers may be too teeny for organised summer camps, but that doesn’t mean they need to miss out on all the fun. We’ve come up with eight weeks of themes, with ideas for activities, to make sure your little ones are kept happy and occupied, no matter what weather is thrown at us this summer.

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Farm fun

Getting arty

Beachy days

Whether you live in the country or not, this is the week to celebrate our farm animals. There are numerous open and petting farms around the country, and these make a great day out for little kids in particular. A good list can be found on www.familyfun.ie/pet-farms. Activities that fit into the farm category include building a tractor with blocks, card, Lego or paper; making animals with paper, cotton wool and balls of wool; hosting a kiddie barndance; and creating a play farm with cut-out paper animals, crops and machinery on a big piece of paper divided into fields.

A spell of bad weather might be a good opportunity for the arts and crafts week. Introduce your little one to a new craft each day, for instance, papier mâché; making decorations with beads (for older kids), popcorn and painted paper chains; pasta gluing and painting; scrapbooking ideas such as seasons or activities; and finger painting. Or trawl the internet for inspiring educational ideas, for instance, creating a clock with paper and numbers and teaching them how to tell the time, putting together a “starting school” scrapbook or making an alphabet collage to help them recognise their letters.

Keep an eye on that weather, because no summer is complete without some beach fun. If you live near the coast, then a trip to the beach is an absolute necessity on a good day, but even if you don’t, there are plenty of activities you can do to recreate that beachy feeling. A sand and water table is a relatively cheap outdoor toy that gives pre-schoolers hours of fun. Otherwise a bag of kid-friendly sand is cheap and can be used for an easy home-made sand pit. Get creative with egg cups, cutlery, baking shapes and sieves to create sandcastles and animals. Keep the beach theme going with activities like shell gathering and painting; stone art; making ice cream for cones and wafers; and organising a picnic for the beach/back garden make-believe beach.

THE TWELVE HOTEL It’s all about fairytales this summer at The Twelve Hotel in Galway, which is offering a special fairytale family package from just €499. Families are greeted with delicious fairy cakes from the hotel’s onsite bakery, before heading to their Marvellous Family Suite, which features a magical Fairy Door. The package includes two nights in the family suite, with full breakfast each morning and a family dinner on one evening in The Pins Bistro. For kids there is a Pizza Masterclass with the hotel’s Pizza Dozzina Chefs, and for downtime, they can curl up with a fairytale book from the hotel’s library while you relax with a drink in the bar. The family package also includes a family pass to one of the following family attractions: Brigit’s Gardens in Moycullen; Kylemore Abbey & Gardens; or Dan O’Hara’s Farmhouse and Heritage Centre. A third night is available at the special rate of only €140 per family. Log on to www.thetwelvehotel.ie for more details.

TAYTO PARK For a really memorable family day out, Tayto Park in Ashbourne, Co Meath, is the perfect venue whether your kids are 2, 12 or 20. The park has just launched Europe’s Largest Inverted Wooden Rollercoaster, The Cú Chulainn Coaster, a truly impressive sight as you enter the park and a ride not to be missed. If that’s not up your street, Tayto Park has launched seven other attractions this summer, ranging from the fast paced Air Race to the Rotator, the Honey Pot Roundabout and the Shot Tower. Other new attractions include Ireland’s only 5D cinema, screening five-minute western-themed movies, a three-carriage road train around the park and a traditional express steam train track ride. There’s plenty for every age so even little tots have their very own exciting rides. Log on to www. taytocrisps.ie/park/ for more.

Summer Treats If you’re lucky enough to have some cash this summer, treat your kids to a day or a weekend away. Here are three of our favourites. Fota Island Resort & Spa

The Twelve Hotel

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FOTA ISLAND RESORT & SPA Situated just 8km from Cork City and adjacent to the stunning Fota Wildlife Park, Fota Island Resort & Spa prides itself on being “paradise for kids” whether you opt for self-catering in one of the on-site well-appointed two-, three- or four-bedroom Lodges, or a family room in the hotel itself. During the school holidays, the Resort runs Camp Fota for kids between the ages of four and 12 in its own dedicated Lodge. Camp Fota runs from Monday 29th June until Friday 28th August for the summer holidays excluding Sundays. If you have kids younger than four, there’s a great playroom in the hotel packed with toys, and there is a very family-friendly swimming pool with dedicated times both morning and evening for kids. There is a wide variety of summer holiday packages available, such as three nights in a three-bedroom lodge for five people, including access to the kids’ camp, from just €233 per night. For detailed information on all packages see the website www.fotaisland.ie or call + 353 21 4883700.

Tayto Park

28/05/2015 11:31

42 SUMMER FUN

Week 4

Week 5

Week 6

Week 7

Crafty in the kitchen

Going underwater

Literary little ones

Mini Olympics

Another ideal theme for the indoors, this week is devoted to the kitchen – and it doesn’t just mean baking. Teach your children about the different types of food that can be made in the kitchen, from cookies and marzipan fruits to pizza and sandwiches. Give your little ones a “taste test”, which may even have the added bonus of introducing them to new tastes. Introduce them to a rainbow of fruit and veg and show them what they can make with them, both food and craft fun. Then, go beyond cooking by showing them that other fun things can happen in the kitchen, such as making your own play dough or washing up (sounds mean, but trust us, kids love washing up dishes!).

This week we’re going under the sea for some water fun! A trip to a swimming pool or, if you can manage it, a waterpark is perfect for this theme. Teach your children about the abundance of wildlife in the sea and build some art projects based on these. On a wet day, build a “boat” in the living room with furniture, sheets and sticks, and create some pirate adventures. Paint a sea background on a big piece of paper and get your children to find and create pictures of fish and sea vegetables (and perhaps the odd treasure chest!) to stick in the sea. Create a mermaid’s tail out of papier mâché for your little one’s doll. Running out of ideas? Have a movie afternoon with a sea-themed film like The Little Mermaid or Finding Nemo, followed by fish and chips for tea!

The summer is the ideal time to introduce your little one to the library and the joy of books. Most libraries have kids’ events on during the summer too, so it’s well worth checking out the schedule in advance. Get your little one’s imagination flowing by borrowing a range of different books and seeing what they like best. Then it’s time to get creative and make your child the star of their very own book! Make a simple book out of a few sheets of paper and create simple scenes on each page. Cut out a simple figure with your child’s hair colour, clothes etc and encourage your child to think of an adventure as they go through the scenes. Write down the adventure and change it every day, adding in more characters from their imagination and real life.

Time to get sporty this week – and if you can, get other kids involved. Introduce your child to different sports, eg football, rugby, tennis, golf, gaa and rounders. Teach them what the sports involve and introduce them to some basic moves. Then it’s time to get training for your very own mini Olympics. Teach races like ball on spoon (trust us, eggs are not a good idea for pre-schoolers), hopping, running and skipping. Have a competition of who can throw a bean bag or stuffed toy the furthest. Try to get a ball into a bucket. Organise an obstacle course. If you can get other kids involved, get them together for an Olympics afternoon and prepare for it by getting your kids to make and paint medals.

Week 8

Worldwide wee ones

Summer with a bump With our rather changeable and unpredictable summers, when the sun finally shines, complaining about the heat is really not welcomed by most people! But summer can be uncomfortable when you’re heavily pregnant – here’s what you can do to keep your cool when the temperature is rising. Tip: this advice is also ideal for the labour room when you’re getting hot and bothered! ✹ WATER SPRAY: A facial mist like La Roche-Posay Thermal Spring Water, €9, is a portable way to cool down. On a budget? Get a travel spray bottle and fill it with water from the fridge. ✹ LOOSE CLOTHING: Light cotton t-shirts and loose trousers thatlet the air in around your skin will help keep you fresh and cool. ✹ FAN YOURSELF: Invest in a little battery-operated fan and keep it in your bag for a quick cooldown. ✹ PADDLING TIME: Take over the kids’ paddling pool on really hot days – at the very least, use it to cool down your feet! ✹ COOL GEL: Aloe vera aftersun gel is great for cooling down hot legs. Keep in the fridge for added refreshment. ✹ KEEP INDOORS COOL: Make sure your home is kept cool by keeping the blinds down and windows open – this will help you sleep better at night too. ✹ USE PULSE POINTS: When things get really hot, cool down quickly with a cold cloth applied to your forehead and wrists. ✹ SAFE SUN: Follow the usual sun guidelines to the letter – seek shade when you can, wear a wide-brimmed hat and keep well hydrated by carrying water with you at all times.

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Get your kids learning with a virtual trip around the world this week. Separate each day into countries and devote all activities that day to that country. For instance, a day in your virtual Italy might include building a leaning tower of Pisa, making pizza, reading some Roman fables and painting an Italian flag. Or a Chinese day might include making and painting a paper fan, Chinese lantern or dragon; making a stirfry with noodles and trying to eat with chopsticks or lolly sticks; or building your very own Great Wall with Lego bricks. The Internet is a fab resource for great printables and ideas on teaching cultures to your little ones.

28/05/2015 11:31

150* WISHES WAITING How can you and your company help us make wishes come true?

We grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength and joy. 01 2052012 www.makeawish.ie sinead@makeawish.ie *Wishes on our waiting list on 15/9/2013

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28/05/2015 23/03/2015 15:21 12:27

tu-

44 PREGNANCY

WHEN

OKAY IS NOT OKAY Finding out you’re pregnant is one of the best moments of your life – but what if you’re not feeling as happy as you think you should be? Could you be suffering from antenatal depression? LISA RYAN finds out more.

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28/05/2015 16:15

45 PREGNANCY

he day you find out you’re pregnant is a life-changing day. Whether it is your first or your fourth, a planned new addition or an unexpected surprise, when that test changes to a positive sign, your heart will race and everything changes. For some it is a moment of absolute bliss, but for others, it can take a while for the news to sink in and to process whether or not this is a good thing. The image of a panicked woman and a pregnancy test in hand is not just reserved for the teenager terrified to tell her parents – even when you’ve got your life sorted out, that positive test can rock you to your core and make you think about what you really want in your life. Having a baby is a big deal. Physically, that test turning into a plus sign is just the start of nine months of strain on your body leading up to childbirth. Mentally, your hormones are set to go all over the place. Even for the most planned of pregnancies, you’re still faced with moments of doubt. It’s human nature to fear the worst and for those fears to surface at 3.14am when everyone else is sound asleep. Having a baby calls for a massive change in lifestyle, and while some find this exciting, for others, it can lead to deep insecurity, doubts about whether or not they’re ready for this massive change, and questions over whether or not they do actually want this child or not. This doubt can be accompanied by strains of guilt, particularly if you feel like this is something you should want but you’re not so sure. These feelings are very common and it’s important to remember that it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a good parent for having these feelings.

Prenatal depression But what if the feelings get too much? While it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and to need time to adjust to being pregnant, what if these worries become all-consuming and affect your mental state? Antenatal, or prenatal, depression affects around 10,000 Irish women every year during their pregnancy – and in reality, this number is probably much higher, when you take into account the number of women who might dismiss their feelings as hormones and therefore do not seek help. “Antenatal depression is where the mum feels down in herself, anxious, not sleeping, not eating, crying at the drop of a hat, most commonly occurring in the final trimester although it can appear beforehand,” says Madge Fogarty, the chairperson of PND Ireland. “It usually goes away when baby is born but for some women can develop into postnatal depression after the birth.” Those hormones can certainly be a cause of stress and upset, as can changes in your body shape, worries about work or other family

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FIRST PERSON members being affected by the pregnancy, anxiousness about childbirth or previous miscarriages. “Women who have gone through IVF to have their babies, or had miscarriages in the past have a higher risk too, as they may feel more pressure on their pregnancy,” Madge adds. Extra issues such as relationship difficulties with the father of the child, or stressful circumstances during pregnancy (death of family member, loss of job, financial worries) can add to these low feelings. A personal or family history of depression can heighten the risk too. These are all things you’re likely to be asked about initially by your GP or midwives in the hospital as part of routine check-ups, but if you’re not, definitely mention any concerns that you do have to them so that if help of any kind is needed that you’ll be in the best place possible to get it.

Signs and symptoms It is important to recognise the signs and separate them from the normal emotional effects of pregnancy, which can be especially difficult to do if this is your first pregnancy. Being more emotional, change of appetite and feeling tired are part and parcel of being pregnant, but they can be exacerbated by antenatal depression. You may also feel more isolated, or you might not want to be around others. Minor stresses can be heightened and you might feel very anxious about things that really don’t matter much. You may feel more emotional than usual, or you could be completely numb and feeling nothing. These are all signs that you may need to have a chat with your GP to see what they think could be the best course of action for you. Milder cases are most likely to go away naturally when the baby is born, but there are other options if your case is worse, for instance, your GP may put you on a mild antidepressant late in pregnancy if they consider it the best option for you and your baby. Again, the key is to get professional advice if you find yourself overwhelmed by bad and negative feelings. “Most cases are mild so reassurance is important,” advises Madge. “Get out and exercise. Try to stay positive. Talk to someone who understands, such as PND Support. Or talk to a medical professional like your GP, public health nurse or gynaecologist.” There are a number of different support groups for antenatal and postnatal depression in Ireland. Your maternity hospital is likely to have one, or can make you aware of groups in the area during the antenatal classes. Talking about it with others who understand and can support you will help and hopefully ease any anxieties you are having. You can also find more information from PND Ireland at www.pnd.ie, emailing them at support@pnd.ie or call them on 0214922083.

“I was exhausted all the time, irritable, and had mood swings going from happy to in tears within minutes” ROSEY WREN WAS COMPELLED TO START HER OWN SUPPORT GROUP AFTER SUFFERING PRE- AND POSTNATAL DEPRESSION ON ALL THREE OF HER PREGNANCIES I’m a 26-year-old mother of three – Kimble (7), Connor (5) and Harvey (2) – and I experienced antenatal and postnatal depression with all three pregnancies. It was a very lonely and isolating time because of the lack of the professional and peer support. My third pregnancy was by far my worst experience of antenatal depression. I found the whole experience mentally, physically and emotionally draining. I was exhausted all the time, irritable and had mood swings going from happy to in tears within minutes sometimes. I didn’t bond with my bump and there were days where I just wanted to hide under the duvet, but with two small children to look after I had to get up and get through the day whilst battling the intrusive thoughts in my mind that made me feel worthless. The isolation I felt was overwhelming and was definitely a big contribution to how low I felt and how long it took me to seek help. I didn’t realise how many other mums were feeling the same way, and I honestly think that if I’d had access to an accredited peer support group I would have sought help a lot sooner than I did. Eventually I asked for help when I attended a routine midwife check at 28 weeks pregnant. The midwife encouraged me to see my GP, who prescribed me anti depressants. However, I was not offered help of any other kind. My experiences prompted me to begin #PNDHour support. My Twitter page @PNDandMe began after writing a poem of the same name. After sharing it, I realised there was an opportunity to set up a dedicated hour to connect those affected by perinatal mental illness. In January 2014 I began #PNDHour, running every Wednesday from 8pm to 9pm, which discusses a different topic every week from symptoms to self-care. It has grown bigger than I ever expected and every week, the dedicated hour supports 30-60 women.

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Product Guide to:

BEDS & BEDDING

Continuing our series on the essential buys for your new baby, we look at the whole world of bedding â&#x20AC;&#x201C; safety issues, what you really need to buy and our top picks on the market today.

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ne of the most important things to consider before your baby is born is where he/she will sleep – and in what? Once again, the choice in the shops is dazzling, and there is something for every budget. But before you start to panic about the price – and the size – of some of the items on the market, remember that babies start out small, and bearing in mind the recommendation that they spend at least the first six months sleeping in your room, there’s no need to kit out an expensive nursery, unless you really want to, of course. If things are tight, a Moses basket can be borrowed for the first few weeks, and a new mattress for a basket is a fairly inexpensive investment. However, when it comes to sleeping there are some safety concerns, and although the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is low – about 0.44 per 1,000 live births per annum, according to figures taken in 2004 – every parent will admit to being concerned that that their newborn is sleeping as safely as possibly. “Babies sleep for 16 hours a day, so it’s natural for parents, especially first-time parents, to be anxious about sleep safety,” says Mothercare sleep safety expert Elaine Madden. With this in mind, we asked Elaine for her top tips when it comes to planning a safe sleeping environment for your new baby.

as it’s easier to add or remove a layer as needed. Being able to gauge the temperature in the room and adjust if needed is another reason why your baby should sleep in with you for the first six months. Finally, don’t put a hat on your baby’s head when he’s sleeping. If you’re unsure about the temperature in the room, a room thermometer like the Gro Egg is a good idea.

How can you tell if a baby is overheating? The best way to tell if a baby is too hot or too cold is to feel the back of their neck or their tummy. Babies’ hands can often feel cold to the touch, but that’s not necessarily a sign that they are actually cold.

When can you start using pillows and duvets? We would recommend sheets and blankets, or suitable baby sleeping bags, for at least the first year. Pillows and duvets should not be used for the first 12 months, at least.

How can the risk of SIDS be minimised? Place your baby on their back, not on their front or side. This is the most important advice of all, and it’s important to note that it’s changed from a few years ago. Place them “feet to foot” so there’s no chance of them wriggling under the covers. It’s also important that they are in the same room as you, but in their own bed. Using a soother has also been associated with a lower risk of cot death.

Moses basket, crib or cot? The safest place for your baby to sleep when they’re born is in your room for the first six months, whether that’s in a Moses basket, crib, cot or cotbed. From a practical point of view, a Moses basket or crib is probably best in terms of space. A cot or a cotbed can be used from birth if they are dressed in the right way, eg no duvets or pillows.

What is the current safety advice regarding mattresses for babies? The most important advice is to get a new one for every new baby. You can be sure that a new mattress offers the best support and is the most hygienic option for your baby. That advice applies to whatever bed option you go for – basket, crib or cot.

What is recommended in terms of covers for a very new baby? It all depends on the temperature of the room. The ideal room temperature is 16-20 degrees. At 16 degrees a baby would need a sheet and two blankets, whereas if the room temperature is 24 degrees, he needs only a sheet. It’s important to note that if a blanket is folded over it’s counted as two blankets. It’s very important that a baby doesn’t overheat. A baby will cry if he’s cold but not necessarily if he’s overheating. Remember, too, that the temperature can change during the night. This is why we’d recommend using layers,

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At what age can you start using baby sleeping bags? Baby sleeping bags can be used from birth as long as the size and the tog are right. If the sleeping bag is too big for the baby, their head could slide down into the bag, or if the tog is too high, they can overheat. With sheets and blankets, make sure you’re using the correct size for your bed, as your baby could get tangled up in loose bedding. And choose breathable fabrics to minimise the risk of overheating.

Is co-sleeping safe? Co-sleeping is not recommended if you smoke or sleep heavily or have been drinking alcohol. It’s also not recommended if you share a bed with someone who sleeps heavily or again has been drinking or smoking. We have a clever system available in Mothercare, the Chicco Next2Me cot, which can be brought right up, the side opened and attached to your bed – so it’s like co-sleeping but without the risks of your baby sleeping in your bed.

What about bumpers? Bumpers can be used, but only until the baby starts moving around and sitting up, because then there’s a danger that they might use them to pull themselves up, or pull them over their face or get tangled up in the ties.

Mattresses pictured left and above are available from Mothercare. Look out for the Safe Sleeping promotions in Mothercare stores and get advice on all things sleeping from the experts online and instore.

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Beds & Bedding: OUR TOP PICKS Dazzled by the baby shops that feature too-cute-for-words nurseries? Here are our top picks for sleeping solutions that work.

Moses Basket

Crib

Cot

Cot Bed

CREAM STAR TED MOSES BASKET, €80, BABY ELEGANCE Nothing comes higher in the cuteness stakes than a cosy Moses basket. These are perfect for keeping little newborns, but beware, they may grow out of the basket within a few months. Look after it, however, and with a new mattress it will be perfect for the next little one too. Added advantage: These are portable so ideal for naps during the day too.

DELUXE GLIDING CRIB, €139.99, MOTHERCARE A crib is bigger than a Moses’ basket and fans say it’s a better buy than a Moses’ basket simply because you’ll get longer out of it. “Both my babies were grand in Mothercare’s gliding crib until they were nearly eight months old,” says maternity & infant’s editor Penny. Some cribs have a gliding motion, which is ideal for helping babies nod off.

BABY ELEGANCE HOLLY COT & MATTRESS, €129.99, SMYTHS (WINNER FOR THE 2014 MATERNITY & INFANT AWARD FOR BEST COT!) The next option is a cot, and this should do baby until they are 18 months or even two. It is possible to put a new baby into a cot as long as the right bedding is used, eg blankets and sheets or a suitable baby sleeping bag. A cot tends to be lighter and cheaper than a cotbed, as well as smaller if space is an issue.

AUSTIN COT BED FRAME, €199, HARVEY NORMAN A more long-term option is a cot bed, a larger and sturdier cot that turns into a bed when the sides are removed. These tend to be more expensive and bulkier than a cot, and because they are essentially a bed, you’ll need to invest in a proper mattress – which tends to be costly too. The advantage, however, is that this investment will last your child years.

Adjustable Bed STOKKE SLEEPI SYSTEM, €489 IN TONY KEALYS FOR THE MINI New parents quickly find that there is a bit of a penchant in the baby industry for items that grow as your baby grows. In the sleeping department, the cotbed is the obvious winner here, but we had to give a mention to the clever Stokke Sleepi system. You can invest in the Sleepi Mini, then buy adaptor kits to turn it into a cot and then a junior bed. A little spendy but oh so clever.

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Co-Sleeper Cot BABYBAY BEDSIDE COT, €360 (VERSION FOR TWINS ALSO AVAILABLE), MAMAS AND PAPAS Want to co-sleep but worried about the safety issues? Go for a bedside cot that attaches to the bedside. The advantage of these is that there is the option to turn them into standalone cots, so as baby gets bigger and more independent, you can move them away from the bed.

Mattress KING KOIL COTBED MATTRESS (PICTURED IN AUSTIN COT BED FRAME, €199), €149, HARVEY NORMAN It’s essential to invest in a new mattress for every new baby, for hygiene and support reasons, but this isn’t as expensive as it sounds – the prices to go up as you go up in size, especially when you get to cotbed size, which is made to last for years. Remember to look after the mattress, washing removable covers often, and vacuuming and sponging down mattresses without covers.

Travel cot BABYSTART TRAVEL COT, €37.99, ARGOS This is not an essential purchase but if you do a lot of travelling, or a childminder/ family member minds your baby a lot, a travel cot is a great investment as a second, more portable, bed. They also don’t have to cost the earth, so unless you are travelling every week, or want a decent one to leave in a parent’s house, a standard one is fine.

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50 BABY HEALTH

TONGUE H TIED Tongue-tie, or ankyloglossia, is a condition that affects 3-10 per cent of new babies, and is often only diagnosed when a new mother has trouble breastfeeding. ANDREA MARA speaks of her own experience with tongue-tie and discusses why awareness of this issue needs to be raised.

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ave you heard of tongue-tie? I hadn’t, until my last baby was born three years ago. All I knew was that breastfeeding was unbearably painful. I braced myself with held breath and tightly closed eyes before latching him on, and cried through each feed, digging my nails into my palm. I suspect that if he had been my first child, I’d have given up. I would have assumed that the pain was normal, and that I was a failure – unable to cope with the kind of agony that other mums were seemingly sailing through. But he was my third, and I knew there was something wrong. So I kept asking and pushing and nagging for answers. When he was a week old, my public health nurse mentioned

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the term ‘tongue-tie’, and armed with this new explanation for the pain, I returned to the maternity hospital that I had attended. The lactation consultant there agreed that my son had tongue-tie, but didn’t recommend any procedure to have it fixed. I was told to change feeding position, and continue as best I could. I carried on, but the pain got steadily worse. So I called Nicola O’Byrne, a private lactation consultant. She in turn referred me to a consultant. And finally, a month after first hearing the term ‘tongue-tie’, we had it fixed.

Tongue-tie explained So what exactly is tongue-tie? “Tongue-tie is where the piece of tissue – the frenulum – under a baby’s tongue is too tight,” explains Nicola O’Byrne. “It can be right at the tip of the tongue (anterior tie) or deep at the base of the tongue (posterior).” A baby with tongue-tie, therefore, is often less able to stretch the tongue in order to efficiently cup the nipple, to get at the milk. This can leave the baby frustrated and exhausted, and the mother in pain. And indeed, I gritted my teeth through five weeks of indescribable pain before my baby underwent a small procedure called a frenotomy, and breastfeeding finally became bearable. But relatively speaking, I was lucky – I wasn’t a first-time mother, so I knew to keep looking for solutions. Unfortunately, with up to one in ten babies born with tongue-tie, it’s impossible to say how many women in Ireland have reluctantly stopped breastfeeding, without realising there is treatment available. There are wider impacts too. “In a severe case it can cause speech issues, problems with swallowing and chewing food, reflux, misalignment of teeth, and tooth decay,” says Nicola, who is the founder of BreastfeedingSupport.ie. With so many short-term and long-term problems, one might wonder why is it so difficult to have it diagnosed and treated. But tongue-tie is usually only apparent when mothers try to breastfeed, and for two generations now, bottle-feeding has been more popular. So midwives and doctors have become less aware of what tongue-tie is, and how to treat it.

Fad or fact? Unfortunately, it is also sometimes seen as a “fad” – it’s assumed that every mother experiencing breastfeeding problems will jump to the conclusion that it’s tongue-tie, and look to have a frenotomy carried out. There are also fears of litigation – many hospitals prefer to avoid what they see as unnecessary surgery. However, a growing number of medical professionals in Ireland are carrying out frenotomies, and raising awareness of tonguetie. One such person is Dr Justin Roche, the

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“In a severe case, tongue-tie can cause speech issues, problems with swallowing and chewing food, reflux, misalignment of teeth, and tooth decay.” consultant in Clonmel General Hospital who divided my son’s frenulum three years ago. “Three of my six children had tongue-tie and subsequent difficulty with breastfeeding,” Dr Roche explains. “All were divided; the first with timely efficiency in the UK, the second following a fair amount of stress and hurdle jumping here in Ireland, and the third by myself. Having then seen the benefit and improvement in breastfeeding following frenotomy first hand, I went to the UK for training so that I could offer the service myself. As a paediatrician I also feel strongly that as health professionals we should be doing everything we can to encourage breastfeeding for the long-term health of children and mothers.”

Options for mums So what options are out there for mothers who suspect tongue-tie? The first step is to have it assessed by a lactation consultant. “An IBCLC (lactation consultant) who is experienced in tongue-tie can do a full suck and feeding assessment and then the parents can make an informed decision on the best options,” says Nicola, who runs antenatal classes covering (among other topics) tonguetie. “Not all tongue-ties need division. Sometimes good management of breastfeeding and support will sort the issues. There are lots of breastfeeding ‘tricks’ and it’s important to make sure that the mother’s milk supply doesn’t drop. There is never just one answer with breastfeeding, and a good IBCLC will provide all the options. Sometimes though the only thing that improves the baby suck is a frenotomy.” If frenotomy is recommended, and if the parents opt to go forward, they are referred to a doctor who is trained to carry out the division. It’s a very simple procedure, whereby blunt-ended sterilised scissors are used to snip into the frenulum. Babies tend to cry for a second or two, and mothers are encouraged to put the baby to the breast immediately. When I had my son’s frenulum snipped, the pain of breastfeeding subsided almost immediately. Within two weeks, I was completely pain free.

Changing times Arguably, a successful outcome, but of course, we shouldn’t have had to go through it at all – in an ideal world, the tongue-tie should have been diagnosed and treated much, much earlier. Things are changing though. Awareness is increasing, as is acceptance in medical circles

that this condition can affect breastfeeding. Three years ago I had to travel from Dublin to Clonmel, but today there are a number of doctors in the capital offering frenotomies, as well as a handful around the country. “There are definitely more practitioners providing a service to divide tongue-ties now, and there are more lactation consultants aware of posterior ties,” says Nicola. “Some hospitals around Ireland have listened too, and now provide a service for babies with tongue-tie.” However, there’s still a way to go. “Other hospitals still won’t listen to the mothers and lactation consultants,” she says. Dr Roche agrees. “There is definitely an increased awareness through social media as well as from professional education,” he says. “But there is still a lot of misinformation and out-of-date practice, so I have now published a website (www.drjustinroche.com) to offer a resource of evidence-based information that can be accessed by the public and professionals alike.” To me, as someone who had little or no information at the time, this seems like progress. Anecdotally, there are changes in attitude taking place too. During a recent antenatal class, in the same maternity hospital that I attended, a friend asked, “What is tongue-tie and could it affect breastfeeding?” The midwife provided detailed information to the whole class, about what tongue-tie is, and how to deal with it, giving names of local doctors carrying out divisions. She said that a couple of years ago, it wasn’t thought to affect feeding, but now they know it does. That’s progress. Odds are that at least some mothers in that class will be dealing with tongue-tie soon. And perhaps they’ll remember a question that was asked at antenatal class, and know to have their babies checked. And maybe one less mother will go through the pain of breastfeeding a baby with tongue-tie. It doesn’t change what happened to me or to hundreds of other mums, but it’s definitely a big step in the right direction.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ... If you are having difficulty breastfeeding and suspect your baby has tongue-tie, you should contact a lactation consultant – there is a full list available on www.ALCIreland.ie

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52 BABY WEARING

SLING STORY

More and more Irish mums are finding that slings are a lifesaver when it comes to keeping baby close and getting out and about. We talked to babywearing consultant Ina Doyle about the different types of slings on the market, and how to pick the right one for you and your babyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s needs.

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ans say it’s the most useful piece of kit you can have for a baby. And more and more Irish mums are discovering how useful a sling can be for every baby, and especially for babies who need a little extra attention, perhaps for colic or reflux. A sling allows you to carry your baby without straining your arms or your back, and keeps your hands free to walk and to do everyday activities like the supermarket shop or household tasks. However, if you are not familiar with slings, it can be hard to choose the right one for you – as well as to know what is healthy for your baby. Babywearing Ireland is a superb resource for Irish mums. The volun-

tary organisation runs a number of Sling Meets around the country; details of which can be found on their website, www.babywearingireland.ie. Various different slings are brought to the meets (and can be borrowed from the sling library for a small fee), so mums can try out various types of slings before they work out which is right for them.

Choosing a sling Babywearing consultant Ina Doyle says that choosing a sling is a little like choosing shoes. “I like to compare slings to shoes. You can help someone narrow down their choices (runners, high heels, slippers, flip flops etc), but your personal best is not necessarily

your friend’s best. Needs, likes, physique and budgets differ – that goes for shoes as well as for slings.” That said, there are a number of factors that all good slings have in common, says Ina. “The best sling is one that is comfortable for you to wear and use, is made of soft, natural fabric, is free of harmful chemicals, allows you to see and sense your child at all times, and holds your little one in a developmentally appropriate upright position, supporting spine, hips and neck/head.” To help guide us a little more, Ina outlines the five main types of slings. Do your research and talk to other sling users before deciding which one is best for you and your baby.

SLING GUIDE

STRETCHY WRAP

WOVEN WRAP

RING SLING

MEI TAI

BUCKLE CARRIER

A stretchy wrap consists of a long piece of knitted fabric that you wrap around your body. The fabric stretches (now there’s a surprise!), so you can pop baby in and out without taking the wrap on and off every time. The stretch in the fabric also means that you always need three layers of fabric over baby.

Woven wraps are the most versatile and the only no-compromise birth-totoddler sling. They consist of a piece of woven fabric in varying lengths that you wrap around your body. The special weave of the fabric makes it very supportive and versatile, while at the same time moulds perfectly around you and baby.

A Ring Sling is a piece of fabric (ideally woven wrap fabric) that is threaded though two metal rings (which should be seamless, not welded). Ring slings are ideal for breasfeeding while wearing, and are easily transferred between users. They are also suited for babies up to toddler age, and can be adjusted quickly with the rings.

This consists of a shaped panel of fabric that is tied onto the wearer with shoulder and waist straps. Mei Tai slings come in a variety of types – some are suitable from birth, others from a few months old, and some are toddler sized.

A Buckle Carrier is a shaped, often padded, panel of fabric that is secured onto the wearer with the help of buckled straps. Some are adjustable to use from birth, while others need extra inserts to be used from birth.

✱ Suitable from birth to 5-8 months ✱ One size fits all ✱ Two shoulder carries ✱ Suitable for front carries and some for hip

✱ Suitable from birth to beyond 20 kg ✱ Can easily be shared between different wearers ✱ Front, hip and back carries ✱ Two and one shoulder carries

TIP: Stretch-Hybrids are more supportive and more versatile than normal stretchies and can be used well into toddlerhood. For small babies, one or two layers are sufficient with hybrids. Je Porte Mon Bebe stretchy wrap, from €39.90

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TIP: For learning, a thinner wrap with different colour edges or stripes is very useful. Most average size people start off with a size 6 (4.60ish metres) woven wrap. Storchenwiege woven wrap, from €39.90

✱ Suitable from birth to at least 15 kg ✱ One shoulder carries ✱ Most are suitable for front and hip carries ✱ Minor adjustments needed when used by more than one person TIP: Ring Slings come with different shoulders. The majority of people prefer a gathered shoulder. Sakura Bloom ring sling, from £70 online

✱ Suitable for front, hip and back carries ✱ Two shoulder carries ✱ No adjusting needed when shared between wearers TIP: Mei Tais come in different sizes, shapes and materials. Something as minor as the angle of the shoulder straps coming out of the panel can make a huge difference to your comfort, so the message here is to try different tyoes before investing. Hoppediz Hop-Tye Mei Tai-style carrier, from €60

✱ Suitable up to toddlerhood, some beyond ✱ Two shoulder carries ✱ Front and back carries, some offer hip carry option ✱ Needs to be re-adjusted when shared between wearers TIP: Buckle carriers are popular for their ease of use but are more restrictive in adjustability due to padding and buckle positioning. Look out for sturdy, heavy-duty buckles that can withstand dropping, rough use and your baby’s weight. Remember that the buckles hold your baby to you. ErgoBaby carrier, from €109

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SAFETY ISSUES

“We still use a buggy, but our slings and carriers have made life easier” Amanda McMorrow’s experience of a sling with her second son inspired her to try a toddler carrier with her eldest child.

With any sling, it’s a good idea to regularly check that it’s fit for use, that there are no holes in the fabric, no broken hardware, no loose seams etc. Manufacturers provide a maximum weight on their slings, but remember that this figure simply means that the sling or carrier is safety tested to withstand that weight – it does not mean that it will be suitable, practical or comfortable with a child of that weight. Everybody is different – some people may find one sling more comfortable and easier to use than others. The only way to find out the right one for you is to try them out. Babywearing International offers an easy ABC guide to achieving the best fit for you and your child:

A = AIRWAY Ensure baby’s airway stays open by keeping chin off chest, and allow fresh air to circulate around baby’s face. Keep child close enough to kiss and in view at all times.

B = BODY POSITIONING Be sure the carrier supports baby in a way that is appropriate to his/ her level of neck and trunk control and prevents slumping, ideally with baby’s knees higher than bum and weight borne by thighs and bottom.

C = COMFORT The carrier should be comfortable for you and baby. If you do not feel comfortable and confident with the carry you are doing, have a spotter nearby to help you. If you need help using your carrier, contact Babywearing Ireland.

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Just before my first son was born three years ago I bought a stretchy sling. Being a new mum meant I was learning everything for the first time: breastfeeding, comforting a baby, even just holding a baby. I tried the stretchy sling a few times but got flustered with all the material, and my son didn’t seem to enjoy it so I gave up. I tried a Mei Tai when he was around three months old but again he seemed fussy in it so I gave in quite quickly. I’ve no regrets, he was happy and I was happy and he got lots of cuddles. Fast forward two years and my youngest was born. While all babies love to be held, Harry literally would cry if away from me for even a few seconds. After the first few weeks, when my husband was going back to work, I had to figure something out to keep everyone happy, including my toddler! I booked a consultation with Ina Doyle, tried a Mei Tei again and this time it felt more instinctive. I understood this time that it might take a little bit of time to figure it out, and I think that

made me more relaxed. Harry loved it right away. I wore him most days, even if it was just for a short while. I watched You Tube clips etc, and before long I figured out the ‘sweet spots’ for getting a really comfortable carry. I decided then to try a toddler carrier for Dylan – and he loves it. My husband wears Dylan at the weekends, and it’s opened up a new world for us – going for long hikes was something we loved doing before kids and it’s lovely being able to do it now as a family. We still use a buggy – it doesn’t have to be all or nothing – but our slings and carriers have made life easier. I find doing the weekly shop, for instance, so much easier, or taking the two boys out to the park. It’s such a useful tool, and while it may not have come naturally to me, I’m so glad I gave it another go with my second son while also enjoying it with our eldest boy too.

“It’s opened up a new world for us - going for long hikes was something we loved doing before kids and it’s lovely being able to do this now as a family. Our slings and carriers have made life easier.” Stockists

“A sling allowed me comfort my colicky baby while looking after my other children and family.” Mum-of-three Michelle found a sling invaluable on her third baby.

Getting a sling didn’t even occur to me on my first two children, but when Jessica was born, things were different. She suffered from bad colic and silent reflux, and the only time she would settle was in my arms. But of course I had two other small children to look after, meals to cook and so on! A friend lent me her Ergo carrier on a particularly bad day, and it’s no word of a lie to say that it changed our lives. Jessica is in the most comfortable position for her reflux, and she’s getting the closeness she needs. But my hands are free to look after my other children - and my back is no longer aching, having to hold Jessica all the time.

There are a number of online stockists that carry a large range of slings and carriers. Here are some of our favourites, but remember to log on to www. babywearingireland. ie for more stockists and details of the sling library and sling meets in your area. ✱ ✱ ✱ ✱ ✱ ✱

www.kangaroobabies.ie www.koalacubs.ie www.hipbaby.ie www.earthmother.ie www.billiesbabywearing.ie www.kneetokneeslings.org

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55 THE BREAST ADVICE

BUYING FOR BREASTFEEDING Pumps aside, breastfeeding is a relatively gadget-free zone, but there are a couple of products that are useful to pack in your hospital bag, writes mum-of-two and NUK Ireland breastfeeding advisor CLIODNA GILROY.

am exhilarated after coming off the back of another wonderful Pregnancy and Baby Fair. One of my favourite aspects of my job is running the breastfeeding advice section at the NUK stand every year at the Pregnancy and Baby Fair. While it does mean working nearly every day in the month of April, it gives me a renewed enthusiasm for my job as I meet so many mothers and mothers-to-be (from a women who was five weeks pregnant on her first to a woman who was five days over on her fourth!) who are planning to breastfeed their little ones and arming themselves with as much information as they can get to ensure success. Very often the focus of a mother is on what ‘stuff’ you need to buy in order to successfully breastfeed your little one, and while there are some useful products available, I first like to talk about the other ways in which you can prepare for breastfeeding. Looking for support is far more important than finding the right pump or nipple shields. One of the first things I advise women to do is find their local breastfeeding support network. Ask your Public Health Nurse if there is a group in the area or contact La Leche Legue or Cidue for local support groups. Try your best to go and call into the group before you have your baby and get to know some of the mothers in the group. I have been lucky enough to make lifelong friends from the breastfeeding support network I met every Wednesday in Balbriggan. Without this support I would not have stuck out expressing and nipple shields for 11 weeks and I’m grateful every day that I did. Like many women, my breastfeeding journey had a rocky start but this support network ensured I stuck with it. It is very satisfying for

you and your baby to finish breastfeeding when you are both ready. Having said all of that, I do understand that there is a hospital bag to be packed and woman need to know what should be in it. The most useful products I found when starting breastfeeding were Nipple Shields. My son struggled to latch and the NUK Nipple Shields were thin silicon and cut away to offer more skin-to-skin contact. The shield gave my son more grip and he was finally able to latch with it. If you think about it, your breasts are doing something every two to four hours that they have never done before, so many women find that their nipples can be tender and sore. Nipple shields can help with this too. The other hospital essential I would advise is to have a tube of Lansinoh in your bag. The regular latching on and off the breast can cause dryness, cracks or tenderness on the nipple and the Lansinoh cream nourishes the nipple and doesn’t need to be wiped off the breast in order to feed, which means less friction. Many expectant mothers worry about the option to buy a manual or electric breast pump. Don’t forget that for the first six weeks you should try and breastfeed exclusively to build up your milk supply and get plenty of time with your baby. If you need to pump in the hospital, they have breast pumps on the hospital wards. If you have a home birth or need to pump as soon as you return home then your local pharmacy should have one in stock. If you want to have options, ask your pharmacy to have a breastpump in stock for you but my advice is don’t open the box until you need to use the pump as you’ll want to use it as soon as you open it!

“Don’t forget that for the first six weeks you should try and breastfeed exclusively to build up your milk supply and get plenty of time with your baby.”

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28/05/2015 11:21

56 PARENTING

DADDY DAY CARE

Dads are now so common at the school gates that they rarely get a second glance. ARLENE HARRIS looks at the dads who have opted to stay at home with the kids, and learns why this is a growing viable option for families today.

here was a time when fathers went out to work and mothers stayed at home to look after the children – end of story. But times have changed dramatically and while more and more mothers are working outside of the home, many men have swapped the boardroom for the playroom as they get down and dirty with their kids. The demise of the Celtic Tiger saw the sharpest increase in numbers of ‘house-husbands’ as lack of job opportunities meant anyone who had employment, whether it was Mum or Dad, had to bring home the bacon. Whether they are single parents or their partners are at work, the latest figures from the CSO revealed that at least 11,000 men in Ireland consider themselves to be stay-at-homedads (SAHDs). Spencer Ferris lives in Navan with his wife Mairead and their three children, Gayle (13), Erin (8) and Ethan (6). Mairead works in the catering industry and Spencer has been looking after his children at home for almost six years. “I worked in a sign manufacturing company until April 2009,” says the 43-year-old dad. “At that time my wife was finishing maternity leave with our youngest child Ethan, so we came to a decision that I would stay at home rather than trying to get another job to try and cover childcare for three children. “Prior to my redundancy I had been working long hours and had usually left home before the kids were awake and was more often away from home until after they went to bed. My family time was limited – so from my point of view, this made my decision easier.” Spencer says no two days are the same and while keeping the house clean can be difficult,

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he is delighted with his decision. “Each of the three kids is very different, which leads to every day throwing up something different,” he says. “It can be very demanding trying to keep everybody happy and giving them all the attention they need (or should I say want) but is very rewarding with the laughter and madness that happens every day. All in all, getting to spend so much time with my kids is a pretty good job. “But with regards to housekeeping I’m still trying to get a handle on it – although I do try my best. I’ve realised that if I don’t get it done in the morning when the kids are at school it is difficult to do it in the afternoon as there isn’t much time for anything, with the school runs, dinners and homework amongst other things – so I’ve learned to be organised.” The father of three says that while his work life has changed in the past few years, he doesn’t feel like he has altered too much – apart from the fact that he has a better relationship with his children and has learned how to brush off jibes about his position. “On a personal level I don’t think I have changed too much since I finished work,” he says. “Mind you, I am probably more patient than I was before and I am certainly closer to my kids now. Being a stay-at-home dad isn’t that uncommon now, but people are still surprised. The responses I get when I tell people what I do vary a lot from ‘Daddy Day Care’ to ‘Why would you do that?’ But I do think that a large percentage of my male and female friends that are in work and have kids would love to try it. “When my wife and I decided one of us was going to stay at home it was a tough decision economically,” says Spencer. “We were going

BELOW: Spencer has been staying at home full-time with his three children since being made redundant in 2009. It can be a demanding job, he says, but spending more time with his children has its rewards too.

28/05/2015 11:18

57 PARENTING “Bonding and attaching with our children does not require special skills or endless free time,” he says. “Instead it happens when we feed our very young children and cook with our older children. Bonding happens by being available to our children by sitting with them, helping them and tucking them in at night. Attachment is strengthened when we teach safety and give our children boundaries – so I would say most fathers have the capacity to be a good dad. “With regard to emotion, I would suggest that fathers experiment with expressing themselves a little more that they are used to. Rather than pushing themselves too much, they should make small comfortable changes such as grabbing a few minutes to kick a ball together, or telling their child they need help gardening or helping with a household chore. “Fathers can ask their child to help them at the supermarket or say ‘I’d love to have your company.’ Walks, bike rides and family film nights are also great opportunities to talk about things, remember your own childhood or listen to what your child has to say. At the end of the day we fathers can demonstrate how much we love and care for our children by providing and protecting but it also means so much to a young person to hear kind, connecting words like ‘I love you’.”

CHANGES IN LAWS

“I think we should give a lot of credit to everyone who stays home to take care of the home and family and the partners who support them.” from two full-time wages to one, with an extra mouth to feed, but once you adjust your lifestyle to suit, the pros definitely outweigh the cons.” Spencer says that his new role has made him realise the importance of both the working and the stay-at-home parenting role. “I think we should give a lot of credit to everyone who stays home to take care of the home and family and the partners who support them,” he says. “In my case I have to give great thanks to Mairead, who, despite working a lot of hours, still manages to hold the house together as I don’t think I could do it all alone. “Our son was diagnosed with autism last year and that has put a strain on time management with the other kids, as at the moment, he

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demands a lot of attention. But that is what it is and just another challenge to get on with. “All in all I thank my blessings for my beautiful wife and three great kids and look forward to each and every day and all of the great and crazy stuff that comes with them.” Child psychologist Peadar Maxwell says men can often be pigeon-holed into being seen as the less emotionally skilled parent and think they can’t help a child with particular problems or issues. But more often than not, children just want someone to listen to them and spend time with them, and whether you’re a stay-at-home dad or wanting to increase your bond with your children, there are simple ways to increase your emotional parenting skills.

Karen Kiernan is the CEO of One Family. She says the rise in stay-at-home fathers may not change paternity-leave laws or access rights for married men like Spencer, but it could be beneficial for unmarried fathers’ rights in the future. “Married fathers in Ireland have the same parenting rights as mothers, but the same doesn’t apply to unmarried fathers,” she says. “And while the rise of stay-at-home fathers may not do anything to change the law, it could affect the behaviour of the court when it comes to granting access for unmarried fathers. “So where Dads have more day-to-day care with their children, it could alter a court decision on how to award access – this of course, isn’t guaranteed, but it may well help to change the outcome.”

USEFUL WEBSITES

✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

www.onefamily.ie www.welfare.ie www.dad.ie www.dcya.gov.ie

28/05/2015 11:18

58 NUTRITION

FAMILY DINNER TIME

Neven Maguire is on a mission to introduce the whole family to good, nutritious food with his new book, Neven Maguireâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Complete Baby & Toddler Cookbook. We chat to Neven about why the whole family can benefit from his recipes.

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28/05/2015 11:35

59 NUTRITION

even Maguire has long been acknowledged as one of Ireland’s leading chefs, his books and television series having inspired many a professional and a home chef. But since he and wife Amelda welcomed their twins three and a half years ago, he’s found a whole new – and some would even say, far fussier – audience for his recipes. His experience as a parent, and talking to other parents in his role as ambassador for the First 1,000 Days initiative, led him to pen his very first cookbook for babies and toddlers. “It was possibly the hardest book I’ve ever written!” Neven laughed, when we caught up with him on the eve of the book’s release. “Not for recipes, but you need to be very disciplined and strict. The inspiration came from the First 1,000 Days initiative, and they’ve given me great help and in-

spiration for the book. The INDI has also vetted all the recipes, so it’s good to have that back-up. Most of the recipes I’d cook at home for my own children – I have threeand-a-half year old twins who are my guinea pigs!” The book contains everything you need from weaning upwards, but probably the book’s biggest strength is the amount of recipes for families – and Neven is passionate about families eating together. “We made a very conscious decision to include lots of recipes that you can eat as a family. I always go back to my own family – we’ve always eaten what they eat, we’ve never eaten separately and they’re great little grubbers. I think if you try them with different tastes and ingredients from early on, they’ll go back to try them again and again and I think that’s really the key.” Neven has a few more tips for

Fruity Chicken Curry This is an excellent curry to introduce your child to spices, as it’s very mild. Children love the combination of chicken and fruit, so it’s bound to be a hit. If you’re going to freeze it into portions, omit the diced apple, as it will discolour. Serves 2 plus toddler (makes 6 portions) ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

2 tbsp olive oil 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 2.5cm piece of fresh root ginger, peeled and finely chopped 1 tbsp korma curry powder or paste 2 skinless chicken fillets or 4 chicken thighs, cut into small bite-sized pieces 3 tbsp ground almonds 2 tbsp raisins 150ml homemade chicken stock or cold water 1 tbsp mango chutney 150ml natural yoghurt cooked brown basmati rice, to serve 1 eating apple, peeled, cored and diced

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Heat the oil in a saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onion, garlic and ginger and cook gently for about 10 minutes, stirring frequently, until completely softened and lightly coloured. Stir in the curry paste and cook for another minute or so, stirring. Increase the heat, add the chicken to the pan and stir-fry until it’s sealed on all sides. Reduce the heat, cover the pan with a lid and cook for 10–15 minutes, until the chicken is completely tender, stirring occasionally. Stir the almonds and raisins into the chicken. Cover and cook for another 3–4 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the stock or water with the mango chutney and stir into the pan, then bring to a gentle simmer, stirring constantly. Stir in the yoghurt and simmer for another few minutes to allow the flavours to combine. Spoon some rice onto your child’s plate and add a couple of spoons of the fruity chicken curry, then scatter some diced apple on top. The remainder can be used for two adults or frozen into individual containers to be used at a later date.

avoiding fussy eaters. “We’re all born with a sweet tooth – something I didn’t know about – and it’s important to counteract this with savoury tastes as quickly as possible. Eating as a family I think is crucial, so they see what you are eating. If they don’t eat it, take it away and give it to them later. They’ll eat when they are hungry. The other key is to eat fresh where possible, and seasonal. Avoid processed foods and get into cooking your own. Cook ahead and make for the freezer. There’s a lovely vegetable and barley soup that I would put chicken breast in for the twins. I’d make up a big pot of it and it would last two or three days for them. My mother in law minds them when we’re not there, and she’ll make sure then that they’re well fed.” A freezer is possibly the most important gadget a busy parent

Homemade Tomato Ketchup 1tbsp olive oil 1 small onion, finely chopped 1 celery stick, finely chopped 1 small garlic clove, crushed ¼ cinnamon stick ¼ tsp ground coriander ¼ tsp ground all spice good pinch of freshly ground black pepper ✹ 1 x 400g whole plum tomatoes ✹ 1 tsp maple syrup ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

Sweet Potato Cakes with Feta It’s fine to extend the selection of cheeses you are giving your child as they reach their first birthday. These sweet potato cakes would be delicious served with a simple tomato sauce. Once cooked, they freeze well. Makes 12 ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

1 large sweet potato 2 eggs 50ml buttermilk 4 tbsp baby rice 2 spring onions, finely chopped 50g feta cheese, crumbled a little olive oil

AVOCADO DIP: ✹ 1 ripe avocado ✹ 25g plain yoghurt ✹ squeeze of lemon juice

Peel the sweet potato and then grate it – you’ll need about 200g in total. Place the eggs in a bowl with the buttermilk and whisk to combine, then whisk in the baby rice. Add the grated sweet potato, spring onions and feta cheese. Mix until well combined. Add a drizzle of olive oil to a large, non-stick frying pan and place over a low heat. Working in batches, place spoonfuls of the sweet potato mixture onto the pan and gently flatten down each one with the back of a spatula. Fry the sweet potato cakes for 1–2 minutes on each side, until golden brown. To make the avocado dip, cut the avocado in half and scoop the flesh into a mini blender. Add the yoghurt and lemon juice and blend to a purée. Arrange the sweet potato cakes on plates and add some avocado dip to serve.

Heat the oil in a saucepan over a medium heat and gently cook the onion and celery for about 5 minutes, until softened but not coloured. Stir in the garlic and cook for another minute or two. Stir in the spices and season with pepper and cook for 1 minute, stirring continuously. Add the tomatoes with the maple syrup and mash down with a potato masher. Bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 25-30 minutes, until the tomatoes are well reduced. Remove the cinnamon stick and blitz until smooth, then leave to cool completely. Any leftover tomato ketchup can be kept for another day if kept in the fridge and covered.

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60 NUTRITION

Knickerbocker Glory with Raspberry Ice Cream This is a great treat when you have people over on a hot day. The ice cream can be made in advance for a firmer texture and it really is incredible how well it manages to hold its shape. Serves 4–6 ✹ 275g mixed summer berries, such as blackberries, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries ✹ 4–6 ice cream wafers

RASBERRY ICE CREAM: ✹ 400g frozen raspberries ✹ 3 tbsp honey ✹ ½ tsp vanilla extract ✹ 150ml buttermilk

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To make the raspberry ice cream, put the frozen raspberries into a food processor with the honey, vanilla extract and buttermilk. Blitz until smooth and then pass through a fine sieve. Churn in an ice cream machine for 20 minutes until firm. If you don’t have an ice cream machine, pour the mixture into a freezer-proof plastic container and freeze. Remove and whisk when semi-frozen, then return to the freezer. Whisk again after 1 hour, then freeze again and whisk twice more during the freezing process. When ready to serve, divide most of the mixed summer berries among small sundae glasses, reserving some for decoration. Quickly scoop the raspberry ice cream into balls and place on top, then decorate with the reserved berries and the ice cream wafers to serve.

needs. “I’ll be absolutely straight and honest with you – my kids eat beans and ketchup too. Not very often, maybe about once every two weeks, but to vary it, I’ve included some recipes in the book for a tomato sauce and a ketchup. You can make a lot of these recipes too and freeze them – and I think this is very important for busy parents. “I give them as much fruit as possible, even an orange and carrot fresh juice; they eat fish at least twice a week, all types of fish including calamari, prawns, hake, salmon etc. There’s a simple recipe for sea bass in the book that can be cooked in minutes. One recipe that I cook a lot for them is a beef casserole with

pearl barley and sweet potatoes, which is in the book too. This can be frozen too so very user friendly for busy families.” Being organised with mealtimes is key when you’re a busy parent, but what if you’re just in the door, kids are hungry and you’re frazzled? What can you do in a few minutes flat? “A stirfry is hard to beat when it comes to a fast meal,” says Neven. “Lots of vegetables, some chicken strips and your store cupboard essentials like garlic and ginger, some maple syrup to give it a little sweetness.” And a quick treat? “Amelda makes up some orange juice or some pineapple juice (we bought a juicer in January) and freeze it as ice pops. They’d have that every day or every second day.” Neven is rushing off to feed to twins and begin prep for the restaurant, but we had one last question for him – what do you do if a child simply won’t eat vegetables? “Perseverance, and keep trying! If they flatly refuse, you can blend veg and put them into a sauce, or into fishcakes or mashed potato. There is a fishcake recipe in the book that you can pack with peas. Or maybe try adding sweetcorn into a soup – sweetcorn is sweet, as is red pepper in a soup. Vary it so they can experiment with different tastes.” We’re off to try that right now with our fussy little ones!

Neven Maguire’s Complete Baby & Toddler Cookbook is published by Gill & Macmillan and priced at €18.99. Available now from all good bookshops.

28/05/2015 11:35

61 HEALTH

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT…

NAPPY RASH

Nappy rash is a common condition that is usually easily treated and nothing to worry about, but ignoring it could lead to further problems. Knowing the facts, symptoms and precautions to take will help you keep your baby’s nappy rash at bay and prevent any later infection.

What is nappy rash?

Nappy rash is a very common condition in babies; it is thought to affect up to a third of nappy-wearing babies at any given time. It appears as a rash on a baby’s bottom and can be quite red in appearance and at times can look blotchy or pimply. Nappy rash will be either dry or moist to the touch, most commonly occurs in babies between the ages of 9 and 12 months, and can occur whether you use disposable or cloth nappies. Your baby’s skin may be tender, but more often than not the effects will be mild and it will not bother your baby.

Q Q

How long will it take to heal? Once

treated, your baby’s nappy rash will begin to heal quite quickly. Having “no nappy” time, and making sure to keep your baby’s bottom clean and treated as recommended, will clear up nappy rash in three to four days. If the rash still persists after this, ask your doctor or family physician for advice, as further treatment may be needed.

What causes nappy rash? The main cause of nappy rash is the skin coming into contact with urine and faeces. Prolonged exposure to wetness and faeces can result in a baby’s soft and delicate skin reacting and developing a red and blotchy rash, but sometimes if the waste matter is affected by issues like sickness, teething or changes in diet, even momentary contact can result in nappy rash. Other causes of nappy rash could be an allergic reaction to nappy material or a product used on your baby’s skin, such as wipes or cleansers. This reaction is called allergic dermatitis, but this is rare for babies to get and is usually easy to diagnose, as the skin will react quite quickly once the offending product has been applied.

How can you treat and prevent it? Leaving your baby’s nappy off for a while and exposing their skin to the fresh air will help heal the rash and dry the skin. Applying a barrier cream to your little one’s skin every time you change their nappy and changing frequently will help prevent the rash returning. Ditching harsh soaps and using just water to clean your baby’s nappy area in between changes before drying gently with cotton wool or a soft towel will also help to prevent the rash from returning. Limiting bath time to just once a day maximum will prevent any extra drying of your baby’s skin, something to avoid when your baby is already suffering from nappy rash. In general terms, use a mild baby cleanser in the bath to wash your baby and considering changing your nappies to the most absorbent brand possible will also help keep the rash at bay in the future.

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How serious is nappy

rash? When treated as soon as possible, nappy rash is usually of no harm to the baby. However, if the rash is not treated, nappy rashes can develop into something more serious, such as a yeast infection, like thrush or candida. Thrush begins as tiny red spots that multiply and form a solid red blotch or a bacterial infection. With this, your baby may have a fever, and the infection will can result in oozing yellow patches or pus-filled pimples. If your baby’s nappy rash does not respond to athome treatment, or begins to worsen, see your doctor for advice.

28/05/2015 16:48

62 PARENTING

ANXIOUS TIMES There are few feelings worse than seeing your child anxious, stressed and upset – even more so when they are pre-schoolers and mightn’t have the verbal skills to express their worries. PENNY GRAY finds out how helping your child to overcome early trauma can pay off in spades in later life.

hen I was pregnant with my first baby, I remember overly worrying about my parenting skills, and whether I was capable of raising a healthy and well-adjusted child. I know I’m not alone in my worries as well – most parents dream of having happy children who are free of worries until they really have to start fending for themselves. But the truth is that even very young children are not immune to stresses and strains, and when they are pre-verbal, these worries can manifest in a number of different ways. The trouble is that often it’s not recognised as mental stress and it’s only when the child grows and displays more traditionally challenging behaviour that help is sought. Owen Connolly, a well-respected and experienced psychologist in Dublin, has seen many children go through his practice who are suffering from mental stress, and believes that these children are often misdiagnosed with ADD and given medication when simple mental exercises and readjustment might be all that’s needed. “If you look through my cases, without exception, every child had some sort of intervention during the birth,” says Owen. “From in the womb, the baby is primed to defend itself and stay alive, and during the birth process, that survival instinct is at its height, and so if there is

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any trauma, perhaps grabbing the head or making cuts on the skull, the fight or flight instinct really kicks in and the brain mobilises itself to help the child survive, drawing the blood supply from the extremes. Their breathing pattern changes to upper diaphragm, shallow breathing. Your baby comes into the world in survival mode, and all his senses are elevated. “These children are the potential geniuses of the world because there’s a lot of action going on in the head, but they’re also looking out for things to happen the whole time, such as the house being broken into. Our job here is to help them reset that alarm, with some exercises and some brain training.” As with many things, early intervention is key, and Owen is keen to spread the word that birth intervention can have a knock-on effect on a baby’s mental state – but that it can be fixed. “We need to get into maternity hospitals and teach parents that if delivery has to include intervention, say forceps or a section, that these situations may arise. Then parents can help their children along from the start, help them belly breathe and so on. Then they can avoid problems later on, such as breathing issues like asthma, or situations where they won’t go into crèche or behaviour problems. At the moment, the message is getting out to psychologists but

by the time a child is brought into a psychologist, they’re six, seven, eight and have already gone through a terrifying time. All sorts of worries may have manifested by then. Maybe they’re not sleeping because they’re terrified of the dark and when they close their eyes, their imaginations go wild.”

Advanced technology At his South Dublin clinic, Owen has some computer software that allows him to assess the child when he first comes in. “The technology allows us to see where the child is at, stress-wise, without being too invasive. The device attached on their ear and they watch images of balloons flying across the sky, which is amusing and catches their attention without them thinking that something is wrong. The focus is on normalising their behaviour, to help them feel that it’s quite normal to feel how they feel. It’s a real time-saver, because the time needed then to come to a strategy to help the issue is shorter. ” I remark that it must be quite a freeing thing

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63 PARENTING

REAL MUM TRICKS:

HOW I HELPED MY CHILD’S ANXIETY

for a mother to hear that their child’s anxieties are due to something that’s out of their control, not the fault of their parenting, and something that’s easily fixed. “Absolutely! It’s a wonderful thing when the child understands that their alarm is simply on and needs to be reset. And once that is reset, to know that their vivid imaginations and brains are a gift, not a problem.” About two years ago, Owen and his team did a pilot scheme in a local school. “We had a few children from the school in with us and the teachers noticed such a change that they contacted us to see if there was anything we could do for the school,” he explains. “We did a programme with 50 children in the school. We brought them through a process of understanding that their alarm needed to be reset, and how to tell their body that it needs to be reset. We introduced what we called Teddy Surfing. The kids would be nice and relaxed, lying on the floor with a teddy on their tummy. We’d then see who would be the best at getting their teddy to travel up and down, which teaches them

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about breathing through the nose and deep into the stomach, which sends a signal to the brain that everything is alright. Same with keeping the shoulders down.” The pilot scheme was a resounding success, but unfortunately a lack of money and resources means that this isn’t available to children on a wider scale. There are things we as parents can take from Dr Connolly’s research, even with very small children who don’t seem overly anxious. “Check if they are breathing quickly and shallowly,” he advises. “Then when you are both relaxed, say when they are getting ready to go asleep, lie down with them and teach them how to breathe from their tummies. Put a teddy bear on their tummies and see how high they can lift the teddy. Turn it into a game. Very small children need to feel safe. So hold their hand, reassure them all the time, don’t turn out that light if they’re frightened. It’s demanding but doing that and the belly breathing will be calming and will reassure them that everything is going to be alright.”

✹ “When Shauna was two, she started getting very clingy when I dropped her off at crèche,” says mum Andrea. “It got to the point where I was crying leaving her as I felt she hated crèche and I was a terrible mum for leaving here there. But someone pointed out that she was feeding off my own anxieties and insecurities about working. I had to change my attitude before she could change hers. So I started being upbeat about crèche and my work; I was firm and consistent about when she was dropping her off and picking her up; and we had a routine when we got to crèche – a movie-star hug and kiss, and an extra blown kiss through the window. If I was happy and relaxed, Shauna soon realized that there was nothing to be anxious about.” ✹ “When James was three, he started having really vivid and frightening nightmares,” says dad Philip. “I think it was because he had such a vivid imagination and was beginning to be exposed to older cartoons with lots of action and baddies. We first made sure that all the physical stuff was okay – that he wasn’t eating too late at night, that his bedtime routine was calming and relaxing, and that his room wasn’t too hot – and then we got creative. First of all we had a “baddie-banishing” ceremony, where we did some spells and got rid of all the baddies. Then we crowned a new teddy bear the defender of the room – so when that teddy was in the room (and he wasn’t allowed leave), the baddies couldn’t enter.” ✹ “Out of the blue, when Erin turned four, she started to get hysterical every time a fly or a bee went near her,” says mum Jennifer. “I had heard of people getting up and close with insects to get over their fears but I thought she was too young for this. So instead I taught her how to control the situation. When a fly comes in now, we open a window and shoo the fly out, or if it’s a bee, simply get up and move. She’s still not too fond of them, but at least my down-to-earth reaction has reassured her that there’s nothing to be frightened of.”

Log On For more on Owen Connolly and Connolly Counselling Centre, log on to www.counsellor.ie or call his South Dublin clinic on 01 2100 600

28/05/2015 11:14

The must-have recipe app FOR Your baby and toddler With over 220 delicious recipes, planners and a host of interactive features, Annabelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Essential Guide to Feeding Your Baby & Toddler is the must-have app to keep your family on track. Download from the app store www.annabelkarmel.com

XXXXXX_1C_ANNABEL_JR_M&I.indd 1 Untitled-3 1

06/05/2015 08:52 09:19 29/05/2015

65 ANNABEL KARMEL RECIPES

PERFECT

PICNICS

Make the most of the sunshine with a picnic hamper full of tasty treats from Annabel Karmel. Give your tots the goodness they need to boost their energy levels and keep them going until teatime.

See Over â&#x17E;˝

CONFETTI COUSCOUS SALAD

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66 ANNABEL KARMEL RECIPES

Annabel’s Oat Bars Preparation: 10 minutes Cooking: 25 minutes Makes: 12 bars ✹ 85g butter ✹ 90g brown sugar ✹ 55g golden syrup ✹ 100g rolled oats ✹ 30g Rice Krispies ✹ ¼ tsp salt ✹ 40g desiccated coconut ✹ 30g chopped dried apricots (ready to eat) ✹ 30g cranberries ✹ 30g raisins ✹ 40g chopped pecans (optional)

Preheat the oven to 170°C/325°F. Line a 20cm square tin with baking parchment, with the parchment coming up the sides. Put the butter, sugar and golden syrup in a large saucepan. Heat gently, stirring occasionally, until the butter and sugar have melted. Remove from the heat and mix in the remaining ingredients. Spoon into the prepared tin and press out in an even layer (a potato masher is useful for this!). Bake for 25 minutes, until golden around the edges. Cool completely, then lift out of the tin and cut into 12 small bars. You may need to store these in the fridge.

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From page 65

Pitta Pockets with Tuna and Sweetcorn

Confetti Couscous Salad

Preparation: 5 minutes Cooking: 8 minutes Makes: 4 pitta pockets

Preparation: 5 minutes Cooking: 10 minutes Makes: 2 portions

✹ 2 eggs ✹ 200g tinned tuna in sunflower oil, drained ✹ 100g tinned sweetcorn, drained ✹ 2 tbsp mayonnaise ✹ 1 tsp white wine vinegar ✹ 4 spring onions, washed and chopped ✹ Salt and pepper ✹ 1/4 tsp salt ✹ A few drops of Tabasco sauce ✹ A handful of salad cress (optional) ✹ 2 pitta breads

✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

1½ tablespoons pine nuts 45g couscous 125ml hot vegetable stock 20g red pepper, washed, deseeded and diced ½ medium carrot (50g), peeled and diced 2 spring onions, washed and sliced 1 tablespoon raisins

DRESSING: ✹ 1 tablespoon olive oil ✹ 11⁄2 teaspoons lemon juice ✹ 1⁄2 teaspoon honey ✹ salt and pepper

Toast the pine nuts in a dry frying pan, stirring occasionally, for a few minutes until golden. Put the couscous into a bowl. Pour over the stock and leave to stand for about 5 minutes or according to the packet instructions. Fluff up the couscous with a fork. Stir in the pepper, carrot, spring onion, raisins and pine nuts. Whisk together the dressing ingredients and stir into the couscous. Season to taste.

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Put the eggs in a saucepan of cold water and bring to the boil. Reduce the heat and simmer for 7-8 minutes. Drain and cool under cold water. Peel the eggs when cold. Meanwhile, flake the tuna with a fork and mix with sweetcorn, mayonnaise, white wine vinegar, spring onions, salt and pepper and Tabasco sauce. Roughly chop the hard-boiled eggs and add to the tuna mix with the salad cress (if using), stirring well. Cut the pitta breads in half to make 4 pitta pockets, then open them up and divide the mixture equally.

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67 ANNABEL KARMEL RECIPES

Lara’s Chicken Wraps Preparaion: 20 minutes Cooking: 10 minutes Makes: 4 wraps 2 chicken breast fillets Sunflower oil, for cooking 4 large tortillas 4 tbsp mayonnaise A handful of shredded iceberg lettuce, washed ✹ 4 tomatoes, washed and cut into strips ✹ Salt and pepper ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹ ✹

MARINADE: ✹ 1 tbsp olive oil ✹ 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice ✹ 1 garlic clove, lightly crushed ✹ 1 tbsp dark soy sauce ✹ 1 tbsp dark clear honey ✹ ½ tbsp brown sugar ✹ 2 tbsp sunflower oil

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Score the chicken with a sharp knife. Mix together all of the ingredients for the marinade and marinate the chicken for about 20 minutes. Brush a griddle pan with oil. Remove the chicken from the marinade and, when the griddle is hot, cook the chicken for about 4 minutes on each side or until cooked through. Cut the chicken into strips and set aside. Spread each tortilla with 1 tablespoon of mayonnaise and arrange the chicken strips in a line down one side of the tortilla, about 4cm from the edge of the tortilla. Place the shredded lettuce and strips of tomato in lines beside the chicken. Roll up and cut each tortilla in half and wrap in foil.

For more recipe inspiration, download Annabel’s Essential Guide to Feeding Your Baby & Toddler app. Access more than 200 delicious recipes, as well as a host of features to keep your family on track and enjoying meal times. Download the new version from the App Store now (€4.99) or visit www.annabelkarmel.com

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69 LIFE AFTER BABY

A League of Their Own Who says us Irish are the ultimate conformists when it comes to the EU? Certainly not when it comes to having babies, it seems. New figures released by Eurostat reveal that although the majority of first-time births in the EU are to women in their 20s, 52 per cent of first-time births in Ireland are to women in their 30s. We also have a higher rate of first babies born to women in their 40s, at 3.4 per cent versus the EU average of 2.8 per cent. We also stand apart from the rest of the EU in our penchant for larger families, with over 17 per cent of births being third babies, and 9 per cent being fourth or subsequent babies, as opposed to the EU averages of 11.8 per cent and 5.4 per cent, respectively. Finally, our teenage pregnancy rate is lower at 4.7 per cent than the EU average of 5.4 per cent. Go Irish mammies!

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70 BEAUTY & STYLE

emember the days when you had time? Time to de-fuzz, exfoliate, use fake tan, heck, even put on your makeup? Sadly, for most of us, those jobs have been relegated to the odd moment here and there after having children. Most of the time in this glorious “soft” country of ours, having sunkissed skin that can be revealed at any time is hardly a priority, but when it comes to this time of year, it would be nice to look a little healthier and glowing when the sun finally comes out to play. Thankfully, the world of bronzing has come on in leaps and bounds in recent years. Gone are the days when you would have to coat yourself in some foul-smelling lotion, stand without moving for ages and then wander about naked until you were dry. And then there’s the million-euro question: how streaky will it look the next day? Now we have gradual tans, instant tans, fake tans with a bronzing guide and quick-acting tans – in fact, there’s barely an excuse anymore for not looking tanned and healthy without two weeks in the sun. Getting that sunkissed glow is not just confined to your body either, more and more beauty brands are turning their attention to the face, offering quick and easy ways for women to add colour without risking looking orange and unnatural. So without further ado, here are our favourite sunkissed tricks and innovations this summer.

BODY FIXES

SUMMER

GLOW

Summer has finally arrived – and with it comes dreams of holidays and sunkissed skin. But what if the reality is grey skies and fractious kids? Here’s how to fake that glow in an instant.

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The area of classic fake tans has probably undergone more innovation in the past decade than any other beauty sector. Since the gradual tanner revolution some years ago, there has been a constant flow of ever more revolutionary products designed to give us a natural-looking bronzed look with little mess and streaking. We also have to give a special shout-out to the Irish fake tans out there, like Cocoa Brown, He-Shi and TanOrganic, that have been developed with Irish skintones in mind. On our shopping list this summer is Lancôme’s latest addition to the Flash Bronzer range, Flash Bronzer Night-Sun, €30, a gradual tanner that can be applied in the evening before you go to bed, to reveal a perfect tan in the morning that can be built up over a few nights. We also love the new innovation from Clarins, Radiance-Plus Golden-Glow Booster for the Body, €36, which allows you to custom-make your fake tan. Simply add a few drops of this fab formula to your usual body lotion to create a subtle or a deeper result. Clever!

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71 BEAUTY & STYLE

INSTANT BODY FIXES

FACIAL GELS

Let’s face it, the classic Irish summer is so unpredictable that one day we might be in woollies and the next day in shorts and a vest top. Which means that all too often when it comes to baring the legs, we can be caught on the hop. This is when an instant tan comes in very handy indeed. Thankfully these have come on since the days when a shower of rain would have you standing in a muddy puddle in seconds. A good product now soaks into the skin in seconds, and although we wouldn’t recommend going out in monsoon weather, you can rest assured that a good Irish “sunshine and showers” day should be fine. An oldie but goodie is undoubtedly Sally Hansen’s Airbrush Legs, €13.50, which is great for giving an even colour and covering up any blemishes or flaws. Karora CC Cream €24.99, contains skin-caring botanicals to keep your skin nourished and smooth while covering up imperfections and providing a shimmering colour that’s great for Irish skintones.

Not wearing makeup and want to avoid the matte feel of a powder? Then a facial gel might be more up your street. Facial gels or creams can be used instead of your usual makeup (on top of your usual facecare) to give that instant sunkissed glow. We love the new Body Shop Honey Bronze Face Gel, €22.50, which gives skin a sunkissed matte tan that looks utterly natural. Alternatively, we’re happy to see that Giorgio Armani Cosmetics has brought back its Maestro Liquid Summer complexion perfecting range after selling out last summer. Available in three shades, Maestro Liquid Summer, €48, consists of golden micro-pearls infused into a five-oil emulsion, which can be applied with a brush across the

BRONZING POWDERS The quickest route to a bronzed glow on your face is undoubtedly a bronzing powder – but the wrong shade or a heavy hand can turn a subtle glow into an oompa-loompa streak. We love Yves Saint Laurent’s new Les Sahariennes range of balm-powders, €31 each, which comes in seven different shades and a double-ended applicator. Use the sponge for all-over application or the brush for sunkissed contouring. For a natural finish, go for a shade only one or two tones deeper than your natural colour.

ILLUMINATORS If bronzing powders scare you too much, or you feel that you’re simply too pale and interesting for a full-on bronzer, then an illuminator might suit you better. These won’t give you a bronzed look, but more of a healthy glow, as if you have had a full night’s sleep (stop laughing back there). Smashbox Fusion Soft Lights in Baked Stardust, €32, is a multi-hued powder that gives you that wonderful glow-fromwithin look. The five silky powders can be used individually or together to customise your look. A similar effect can be achieved with Bobbi Brown’s Brightening Finishing Powder in Brightening Nudes, €55.50, which was famously used by the Duchess of Cambridge hours after she gave birth to Princess Charlotte. This brightening powder is an ideal alternative to bronzing powder for pale skin that just needs a healthy lift.

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entire face, with extra then used for contouring. If these are too dark for your pale skin, then look at a product that offers more in the way of illumination, such as NYX’s Born to Glow liquid illuminator, €9.49, which is available in two shades. This lightweight multifunctional face moisturiser enhances your skin and gives a luminous glow instantly. For an even more subtle look, try blending with your foundation.

FAKING IT ON HOLIDAYS Noelle O’Connor, founder of Irish fake tan fave, TanOrganic (an organic tan that is especially recommended during pregnancy), answers our top questions about wearing fake tan on your holidays.

WILL SWIMMING IN THE SEA OR POOL RUIN MY FAKE TAN? Wait at least eight hours after tanning before submersing yourself in water. Although chlorine in swimming pools and salt in seawater won’t make your tan go streaky, it will make it fade more quickly so make sure you take extra self-tan with you on holiday to top it up. WILL MY FAKE TAN PROTECT ME FROM THE SUN? The simple to answer to this is NO. It is, however, a common misconception that the darker your skin is, the less you will burn. This is totally false so wear sun cream and try to stay out of the sun. WILL APPLYING SPF SUN CREAM STREAK MY TAN? Fake tan won’t protect your skin from sun exposure so it’s important to apply a high SPF factor

2 3

sun cream over your fake tan. Opt for a DHA-friendly sun lotion to avoid streaks. An added advantage is that it can actually work as a barrier against chlorine and salt water fading your tan. WILL SWEATING IN A HOT COUNTRY MAKE MY TAN RUN? It is advisable to avoid perspiring for at least eight hours after self-tanning. This can be difficult if you are topping your tan up on holiday so try to do it in the evenings when the temperature is cooler. Once the tan has dried, however, sweat won’t make it go streaky. WILL SHAVING MY LEGS EVERY DAY MAKE MY TAN GO FLAKY? Shaving gives a similar effect to exfoliation so if you shave your legs every day ensure you use a good shaving cream and moisturise afterwards to avoid flakiness. TanOrganic’s Self-Tanning Oil, €24.99, is available from pharmacies nationwide

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FAKE TAN & PREGNANCY Whether you can use fake tan or not when you’re pregnant is always a hotly debated topic. The official line is yes, you can use fake tan that you rub on with your fingers, but avoid sprays and spray-tanning booths, simply because it’s not known if inhaling DHA (a type of sugar that is the active ingredient in fake tan) can cause harm. However, by simply rubbing on a mousse or a cream, DHA doesn’t get past the top layer of skin. If in doubt, go for an instant tan or a formula with a low level of DHA.

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74 MUMS & WORK

TURNING SELF-

DOUBT BELIEF INTO SELF-

Whether you’re joining the growing legion of mumpreneurs or returning to work after a break, building your self-belief and confidence is essential. In this exclusive extract from her new book, Mumpreneur, ANNABEL KARMEL outlines her 10 top tips to turn self-doubt into self-belief.

uccessful babyfood entrepreneur and maternity & infant columnist Annabel Karmel has just published her essential guide for all mums looking to start their own enterprise, Mumpreneur. Packed full of tips and advice from Annabel and other mums who have successfully launched their own businesses, this is a practical and down-to-earth inspirational guide for anyone with even half a business idea. In this extract, Annabel outlines 10 tips from mumpreneurs Jacqueline Gold (CEO of Ann Summers) and Fiona Clark (www.inspiredmums.co.uk) on turning your self-doubt into self-belief – essential reading whether you’re going it alone or looking to boost your career.

Don’t worry about the competition, just do your best “The best piece of advice I’ve ever been given is that ‘there is nothing more to fear than fear itself’,” says Jacqueline. “When it comes to the competition, don’t become obsessed by them and let the fear of what they are doing distract you from your own business. Success in business is about being the best at what you do. If you do that, you have nothing to fear.”

Consider the facts If you logically check the facts you will probably realise that your worries are unfounded. For example, you might feel like you can’t pitch for investment now, but then you check the facts: you are presenting investors with a viable opportunity and the numbers add up, you have a good track record and have proved the concept

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works within your local community. From this, you have just as much chance at succeeding as anyone else. “If you are having a meeting, remember, these people are meeting you because they want to hear what you have to say,” says Jacqueline. We often worry before an event and then realise after that we were worrying unnecessarily as it’s normally better then we expected.

Find the evidence to back up your positive beliefs and counter your negative ones “Write down some positive beliefs about yourself and your situation,” advises Fiona. “For example, people might say, ‘I am hard-working and outgoing, and I have got a good business idea,’ but might counter it by also saying, ‘but I can’t do this on my own and no one is going to buy my product/service.’ It’s important to notice and question these negative self-beliefs that hold you back. If one of those beliefs is ‘I am never going to be able to sell this’ challenge yourself to flip that language into something much more positive, such as ‘I have a good track record of being able to influence people.’ The next step is to reinforce your new positive belief by considering all the times you have successfully influenced and persuaded people to buy or do something. This gives you evidence that you can sell and influence people and will shift your attitude from I can’t to I can.”

Be yourself “I learnt early on to embrace who I was and not emulate who I thought a business person should be, which was often the alpha male,”

explains Jacqueline, who admits she was very quietly spoken in the early days and so tried to compensate by attempting to dress the part. “I used to wear the 1980s power suits, the hair up and the glasses, until someone told me I looked like a politician, and that was enough for me to realise I should just be myself,” she smiles. “I thought, I am really passionate about what I do, I am proud of what I do and I don’t need to be anyone else other than me.”

Be proud of your femininity “We can be feminine and successful,” says Jacqueline. “Women are so much more powerful than they realise and yet they often feel uncomfortable being the only woman at a seminar or similar event. This is so sad because women often don’t realise the men are more

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75 MUMS & WORK Try role-modelling to fake it until you make it “Role-modelling is a really powerful confidence builder,” says Fiona. “Define what you lack confidence in first. For example, this might be networking. Next, imagine how someone who is confident and relaxed about networking might handle going to an event. It’s all about the body language and the tone of voice. They would smile and introduce themselves to people on arrival and ask questions. They’d show an interest in others. By describing what actions that confident person would do, you can figure out which of those behaviours you should try out to appear more confident on the outside. Practise those behaviours when you next go to a networking event and see what reaction you get and how you feel. Typically it’s a self-fulfilling cycle where you will feel more confident and relaxed, and your comfort zone for the next networking event you attend will naturally increase.”

Stay in touch When you are on maternity leave you feel left out of the loop. Jacqueline, who took three months’ maternity leave, suggests that you maintain contact, no matter how infrequent, while you are away. “Keep in touch, go in and see your colleagues again. I carried on the emails. I even see women come back from holiday and feel unsettled because they have been away from the office and feel out of the loop. It’s about disciplining yourself to keep that contact going and keep your toes in the water, even if it’s just going along to the odd event.”

intimidated by her than she is by them.” Jacqueline also advises that women don’t have to be aggressive to be successful. She says: “I am not aggressive. I am firm and relentless and very focused but I am not aggressive.”

Don’t be afraid to be assertive There is a difference between being aggressive and being assertive. “By the age of 12, girls are three-and-a-half times more likely to have lost their self-esteem than boys, and are most likely not interested in being a leader as a result,” states Jacqueline. She explains that this stems from the classroom. “Unfortunately, from an early age, girls are discouraged from being assertive as that’s seen as being ‘bossy’. The CEO of Facebook, and author of Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg, is running a ‘Ban Bossy’

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campaign due to those negative connotations. It is rare for a boy or a man to be called bossy. Instead bossy behaviour in men is seen as commanding, assertive or good leadership.”

Be bold Have the courage of your convictions to do things your way. Don’t bow to stereotypes or old-fashioned perceptions. From the age of 21, Jacqueline transformed her father’s company from a turnover of £83,000 in her first year working for him into an empire with 143 stores turning over £145 million. She did that. “It wasn’t an engaged culture, it wasn’t inclusive,” says Jacqueline. “I admire my father in many ways but the business culture was not something I particularly learnt from him. Changing the culture was a good thing to do, and now he works my way,” she says proudly.

Go it alone I have to admit that I’ve taken a female friend along to events where I’ve known I’d be the only woman and yet, as Jacqueline points out, that can stifle your success and result in missed opportunities. “It’s a great turning point when you get to a stage when you don’t need to walk in with anyone else. Instead of talking to a friend, it forces you to engage with others and gives you the opportunity to meet someone who might change your life. The pride you feel afterwards for making yourself do it is huge.”

READ ON Mumpreneur: The Complete Guide to Starting and Running a Successful Business, by Annabel Karmel (Vermilion) is out now.

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76 AWARDS

PEOPLE AWARDS Have you got a special person in your life who has helped you in your journey through pregnancy and parenthood? The Boots maternity & infant People Awards recognise and reward the people in your life who have helped on your journey. Did you have an amazing midwife who got you through your labour? A pharmacist who calmed your fears when your child was sick? Someone who helped you through those first few months as a parent? Or know a child who overcame massive obstacles? Then we want to hear from you! Nominate an inspirational person who always goes above and beyond for everyone else or has come through a traumatic event in their lives and still manages to keep a smile on their face.

We have 16 People Awards categories and nominating couldn’t be easier via www.maternity&infant.ie

✱ Sudocrem Miracle Baby of the Year ✱ Child Hero of the Year ✱ EUMOM Business Parent of the Year ✱ NUK Mum of the Year ✱ Dad of the Year ✱ Irish Daily Mail Grandparent of the Year ✱ Super Sibling of the Year ✱ Nurse of the Year ✱ Paediatrician of the Year ✱ Obstetrician of the Year ✱ Mothercare Midwife of the Year ✱ Public Health Nurse of the Year ✱ Pharmacist of the Year ✱ Young Achiever of the Year ✱ Boots Special Merit Award ✱ Outstanding Achievement Award

Nominate today www.maternityandinfant.ie

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Test the Best

We need you

Be part of our home and academy day testing. Sign up to be a product tester today at www.maternityandinfant.ie

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RTÉ Today show We are delighted to announce that we have hooked up with the Today show on RTÉ to showcase the Boots maternity & infant Awards. Watch out for us on the couch with Maura and Daithi in September, October & November. We will be showcasing previous People Award winners, our Academy testing day, the awards ceremony itself and 2015 Product and People Award winners.

IS YOUR CRÈCHE THE BEST? We’re searching nationwide for the crèche that pulls out all the stops when it comes to quality childcare. Does a crèche instantly come to mind? Then nominate today! We want to recognise the créches that go that extra mile in creating the most friendly, supportive and caring environment possible. Whether it’s dedicated time for individual children or innovative education plans. The Boots maternity & infant Crèche Awards recognise crèches across three categories: community, private and multiple.

Nominate today www.maternityandinfant.ie

GET VOTING! Voting for the 2015 maternity & infant Awards opens on 17th June. The Boots maternity & infant Awards aim to provide you, the parent, with all of the information you need to choose the right products for your little one from birth. Parents tell other parents what products are great and what just aren’t up to scratch. There is nothing like a personal recommendation from another parent and that’s what we are offering. From June 17th you can vote for your top products and recommend them to other parents. These products will then be tested by parents through our home and academy day testing.

Get Voting

VOTE

Thank You to Our Sponsors

JUNE

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100% Cyan 95% Magenta

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28/05/2015 16:50

78 SHOPPING

STORE DIRECTORY

Accessorize Stores nationwide; www.accessorize.com Alex and Ani Stockists nationwide; www.alexandani.com Amoralia www.amoralia.com Amaia kids www.amaiakids. co.uk Arnotts Henry Street, Dublin 1; www.arnotts.ie ASOS www.asos.com

B C

Brown Thomas www. brownthomas.com

Clerys 18-27 Lower O’connell Street, Dublin 1; tel: (01) 878 6000; www. clerys.ie

Debenhams Stores nationwide; www. debenhams.ie Dorai www.

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dorsi.ie Dorothy Perkins Stores nationwide; www. dorothyperkins.com Dune Stores nationwide; www.dunelondon.com

E F

Elverys Stores nationwide; www.elverys.ie

I J L

Isabella Oliver www.isabellaoliver.co.uk JoJo Maman Bebe www. jojomamanbebe.co.uk

Fabucci Footwear www. fabucci.ie Folli Follie Stockists nationwide; www. follifollie.com Frugi www. frugi.com

LEGO Stockists nationwide; www.lego. com Littlewoods Ireland www.littlewoods.ie Lifestyle Sports Stores nationwide; www.lifestylesports.com L’Oréal Stockists nationwide; www.loreal.com

Harvey Nichols 16 Sandyford Road, Dublin 16; www.harveynichols. com H&M Stores nationwide; www.hm.com House of Fraser Dundrum Town Centre, www.houseoffraser.co.uk

Mamalicious Selected stores nationwide; www.mama-licious.com Mama Owl www.mamaowl. net Mamas & Papas www. mamasandpapas.com Marks & Spencer Stores nationwide;

www.marksandspencer.ie Monsoon Stores nationwide; www.monsoon.co.uk Mothercare Stores nationwide; www.mothercare.ie

Name it Stores nationwide; www. nameit.com New Look Stores nationwide; www.newlook. com Next Stores nationwide; www.nextdirectory.ie

Oasis Stores nationwide; www.oasis-stores.com Office; www.office.co.uk

Penneys Stores nationwide; www.primark.co.uk Piquant Baby Powerscourt Townhouse Centre, 59 South William Street, Dublin 2; tel (01) 677 8896;

www.piquantbaby.ie

River Island Stores nationwide; www.riverisland.com

Schuh Stores nationwide www.schuh.com Seraphine www.seraphine. com Smyths www.toys.ie

Topshop Stores nationwide; www.topshop.com

Warehouse Stores nationwide; www.warehouse.co.uk White Stuff www.whitestuff.com

Zara Stores nationwide; www.zara.com/ie

28/05/2015 17:30

79 ASK THE EXPERTS

MEET THE

EXPERTS We have a wide range of experts on hand to answer your questions on everything from pregnancy and birth to sleeping, feeding, fitness and general wellbeing. If you have a question that needs answered, get in touch!

Dr Julius Parker

Embryologist

Dr Declan Keane

Physiotherapist

Dr Parker is a general practitioner with HSF Health Planâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s free 24-hour GP advice line and answers healthrelated questions for young families. For more information on HSF Health Plan, visit www.hsf.ie or Lo Call 1890 473 473.

Dr Keane is a senior clinical embryologist with 20 yearsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; experience. He is director of ReproMed fertility clinics in Kilkenny and Dublin, with a third clinic opening in Limerick this year. For more information, call Declan on (01) 685 6755 or visit www.repromed.ie.

Jenny is a chartered physiotherapist and partner at Total Physio in Sandyford, Co Dublin, and sees many women during and after pregnancy., treating issues like pelvic girdle pain. She is also mum to Jamie and Holly. For more information visit www.totalphysio.ie.

Sleep Consultant

Lucy Wolfe,

CGSC, MAPSC Lucy is a paediatric sleep consultant and mum of four. She runs a private sleep consulting practice where she provides knowledge, expertise and valuable support to families across the country. Visit www.sleepmatters.ie.

Obstetrician

Jenny Branigan

Dietitian

Pharmacist

Dr Sam Coulter-Smith

Sarah Keogh

Joanne Kissane

Dr Coulter-Smith is a consultant in obstetrics and gynaecology, master of the Rotunda Hospital and a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at the Royal College of Surgeons. Visit www.rotunda.ie

Sarah is a dietitian with the Early Feeding Clinic, which offers advice on becoming pregnant, nutrition during pregnancy and feeding your baby. For more information, visit www.earlyfeedingclinic.ie.

Joanne is the Superintendent Pharmacist with Lloyds Pharmacy, which has 86 pharmacies around Ireland. Each pharmacy offers experts in pain, skin and child health. Come to the pharmacy that cares.

Ask the experts... If you have a question regarding any aspect of your pregnancy, new baby or toddler, please get in touch. Email us at editorialdesk@ashville.com or write to us at maternity & infant, Ashville Media Group, Old Stone Building, Blackhall Green, Dublin 7.

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80 ASK THE FERTILITY EXPERT

Same-sex couples We are a female same-sex couple who would like to have a baby. What are the options available to us here in Ireland?

Most clinics in Ireland are happy to treat same-sex couples or indeed single women who would like to have a baby. This would be facilitated by using donor sperm, which would be imported by the clinic on your behalf from donor banks abroad. New legislation due to come into effect means that there is now a legal requirement that the sperm you chose must come from a male who has agreed in advance to his details being added to a register of donors in Ireland. This is called known or non-anonymous donation and your clinic of choice will be able to guide in choosing a donor best for you. Donor sperm can be used either in IUI (Intrauterine insemination) or during an IVF cycle in your clinic depending on your own situation.

IVF explained I have an extremely busy job with inflexible hours and I do not feel I can tell my boss that I am planning to have IVF. How much of a time commitment is it? If you have already had your consultations and your testing done, and you are ready to begin your IVF cycle, your life should not be too inconvenienced, although there is most definitely a time commitment in terms of attending for appointments. During an IVF cycle you will need to have three to four appointments to have scans and blood tests done. Most clinics carry these out in the morning so you should not find that your day is too disturbed; they may even be able to facilitate you before you start work. You will most definitely need to take a day off work when you have your egg collection as you will be sedated and will need time to recover after this. The next appointment will be for your embryo transfer, most likely three or five days after your egg collection. These appointments are generally concentrated into a two- to three-week period. If your job is busy and stressful it may be beneficial to take some annual leave around the time you are likely to have your egg collection and embryo transfer. The nursing staff in your fertility clinic will be able to give you a good idea of when that will be, based on your menstrual cycle and the therapy plan that has been devised for you.

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Low-invasive help I have been told that I should consider getting some help conceiving since my husband and I have been trying for over a year without success. The thought of going through a procedure like IVF really scares me. Are there less invasive options? I would suggest that you make it very clear with the clinic from the outset that you would prefer to explore the least invasive techniques before considering IVF. That is a reasonable and personal request, and one that I hear regularly. Your clinic may suggest looking at lifestyle factors first – your weight, diet and nutrition, exercise, in effect making sure your body is in the best possible condition to optimise your chances of conceiving naturally. It may be recommended that you consider timed sexual intercourse (TSI). The nurse at your clinic will scan you at intervals in the earlier stages of your cycle to tell you when you are likely to ovulate. This can be triggered with medication if you choose. You then would be advised to try to conceive at home during a specific period of time. There are plenty of options available to couples who would prefer not to have IVF. Your clinic will be honest with you, and if the doctor believes that your chances of success will be increased by going down the more invasive routes, then this information will be given to you and explained fully. However, no one should push you into any treatment with which you are not comfortable, so take your time and make sure you have all of the facts.

QUICK GUIDE

How do… PREGNANCY TESTS WORK? A home pregnancy test measures the amount of hCG, the pregnancy hormone, in your urine. Some tests are more sensitive than others, but to minimise the trauma of a false negative result, try to wait until the day your period is due to test (usually two weeks after you ovulate). If you get a negative result, wait three days and if you still don’t have your period, test again, as you may have ovulated later than thought.

The average age of a woman having a baby in Ireland is now 31.5, and the trend seems to be for more births to older woman. However, there is no doubting that fertility is affected by age. Fertility begins to decline slowly after the age of 30, before speeding up at 35. At 40, then, it accelerates, with your chances of conceiving at 40 being about 20 per cent, falling to less than 5 per cent at 45.

Some studies have shown that sperm can be slightly more potent at certain times of the day, but the truth is that these changes will have minimal impact. The key is to have plenty of sex when you’re both in the mood, staying healthy, exercising regularly and stay away from stress.

All about… AGE & FERTILITY

Question… IS SPERM MORE POTENT IN THE MORNING?

28/05/2015 12:57

81 ASK THE OBSTETRICIAN

Labour pains

Extreme morning sickness I’ve just found out that I’m seven weeks pregnant and it’s a complete surprise! I’m so worried though, because I was in Las Vegas last weekend and was drinking a lot of alcohol and smoking. Could I have harmed the baby? As obstetricians we recommend that people do not smoke or drink during pregnancy. It is impossible to be sure as to what is the safe level of alcohol that you can consume during pregnancy, therefore we recommend that women do not drink at all during the course of their pregnancy. Having said this, many women will consume alcohol during the early stages of pregnancy before they realise they are pregnant, and the vast majority of these women go on to have perfectly normal pregnancies. Unfortunately it is very difficult to provide you with any degree of reassurance and there is no screening test to estimate whether baby has been affected in any way by the alcohol that you have consumed. It will be something that you will only find out in the long term, once baby has been delivered and the baby is checked for its developmental milestones in the childhood period. In terms of smoking, we recommend that women use pregnancy as an opportunity to stop smoking completely. This is a very positive health move on your part. Smoking in the early stages of pregnancy will not have harmed the baby in any way.

Type 1 diabetes & pregnancy I’m Type 1 diabetic and thinking of having a baby. Is pregnancy more complicated when you’re diabetic? Are there risks for me or for the baby? It is very important that if you are a diabetic considering pregnancy that you consult your endocrinologist to ensure that your diabetes is as well controlled as it can possibly be pre-pregnancy and during pregnancy. The main problem with poorly controlled diabetes is that high blood sugars cross the placenta directly to the baby. This has the effect of causing increased growth causing babies to become very large, sometimes to the extent that vaginal birth can be more traumatic or sometimes impossible. In addition, babies of diabetic mothers will pass more urine while in the womb causing excess fluid around the baby, which can in some cases lead to premature labour. If you are already a poorly controlled diabetic with underlying complications then your ability to conceive may be reduced and there is also the possibility that placental function may be poor giving rise to poor growth for the baby. Women with pre-existing diabetes have a higher risk of stillbirth, particularly in late pregnancy and generally speaking, you will not be allowed to go beyond your due date. This means that you would either be induced or delivered by Caesarean section a week or two before your due date, depending on your particular situation. The bottom line with diabetes in pregnancy is, the better controlled the diabetes, the less likely you are to have significant side effects and risks for both you and your baby.

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What do contractions really feel like? How do I know I’m in labour rather than having Braxton Hicks? The uterus is a muscular organ and Braxton Hicks are the tightening of the muscle fibres in the wall of the uterus, and occur in that latter third of the pregnancy. Braxton Hicks contractions have the effect of pushing the presenting part, usually the head, down into the pelvis in preparation for labour proper. The main difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and labour contractions are that in Braxton Hicks pains, the discomfort is usually low down over the pubic bone, whereas with contractions associated with labour, the whole of the uterus becomes hard and tight with pain in the upper of the womb as well as low down over the pubic bone. For someone who is in their first pregnancy, it can often be difficult to differentiate between these two situations and if you are in any doubt you should contact your GP, your midwife or your obstetrician to check out the situation. If you are in your second or third pregnancy, you will probably have noticed that you are feeling considerably more pressure down in the pelvic area; this is because your pelvic floor is not quite so strong and the presenting part is probably a little lower than it was in your first pregnancy.

QUICK GUIDE

What is... VULVAL VARICOSITIES? Vulval varicosities are varicose veins in the vulval area. They occur in pregnancy and are more common in second, third and fourth pregnancies. A V2 support offers temporary relief when you are on your feet but will not take away the problem completely. But once your pregnancy is over, the veins will get smaller and should become less problematic.

Always call your doctor or midwife if you have any of the following symptoms in the second half of your pregnancy as they could be signs of pre-eclampsia: ✹ double vision ✹ blurring ✹ dimming ✹ flashing spots ✹ severe headache for more than two hours ✹ bad swelling

Lots of babies hiccup in your uterus, and may start doing so from the end of your first trimester. However, you probably won’t feel them until about 27/28 weeks. They feel like small, rhythmic movements, and some babies experience them a few times in one day. They are perfectly normal and nothing to worry about.

All abouts… PRE ECLAMPSIA WARNING SIGNS

Question... WHAT DO BABY’S HICCUPS FEEL LIKE?

28/05/2015 12:58

82 ASK THE DIETITIAN

More solid food

Hypermesis gravidarum

My 14 month old has a very small appetite and eats very little at meals and often skips them. I try to catch up by giving him lots of snacks during the day and he still drinks 3-4 bottle of milk a day. But he does need to start eating more proper food. Any advice?

I am pregnant with my second baby and diagnosed with hypermesis gravidarum, which they tell me might lift at around 20 weeks. Is there any thing I can eat to boost my energy and stop the sickness?

Lots of children mess around with their food and it is not unusual for toddlers to occasionally miss a meal especially if they are sick or teething. But I think the main problem here is a very common one: he is drinking too much milk. A toddler should be having less than 300ml of milk in total for the day or he won’t have an appetite for meals. He can get his other calcium from hard cheese like cheddar and from yoghurt. Try reducing his milk over the next week by one bottle per day and you should see a big increase in his appetite. It is also worth limiting his snacks between meals – try not to give him anything for one and half to two hours before his next meal. On another subject, at 14 months he does need to start leaving the bottle behind and start using a cup. If you have not already started him drinking out of a cup with no lid, then this is a good time to get him into the habit. You can start him with small amounts of liquid until he can manage to drink without spilling everything. It is ok to use a beaker with a lid if you have to move away from him but it is important to let him have a drink at every meal (milk or water) from a cup with no lid so that he can learn this important skill.

Treats for grandchild I have a two-year-old grandson, and I like to treat him occasionally. But his mum is very strict and we’ve had a few disagreements. I know children shouldn’t have too many sweets but surely an occasional treat is no harm? Parents can have very strict rules about what children can and can’t have to eat but most grandparents love to give children treats when they visit. This has caused many rows in many families and you are not alone in this! One of the problems that face many parents today is the fact that children are offered sweets almost all of the time and everyday. When I was a child sweets were just given on Sundays but never on other days. Now with my own children there are constant birthday parties with junk food, parties in school for Halloween and Christmas, lollipops in every restaurant and even other mums in the park handing out crisps and sweets. Children are faced with much more junk food than ever before and many parents feel they have to draw the line somewhere. It is easier to do this with family than to stop a child from going to a birthday party or missing out on a school event. Talk to your daughter about why she is so strict and you may find that she is running a battle with the other grandparents, aunts and uncles, well-meaning friends and other mums. She might just need to have one family member she can trust not to bring sweets. Help her out and you might find that your grandson loves to see you and not just the chocolate.

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Hyperemesis gravidarum is a severe form of morning sickness that lasts all day and leads to severe and repeated vomiting. Some studies show that taking vitamin B6, about 25mg per day, can help to reduce nausea, and that B12 (about 2 micrograms per day) can help to reduce vomiting. Be careful not to take more than 100mg of B6 as this can be harmful. Apart from that, stay as hydrated as you can. The problem is that dehydration can make you feel even more nauseous and so it becomes a vicious cycle. Strangely, many women find that plain water actually makes them feel sick so you may need to try sparkling water or add flavours like a piece of cucumber, fresh mint leaves or a cube of fresh ginger to help drink more water. In terms of food, try not to get hungry and to eat a little even if you feel sick. Try carb foods like crackers, crispbreads, plain breakfast cereals (eaten dry if you can’t face milk) and toast. The smell of food can be a big trigger for nausea so you may find that cold foods are easier to tolerate as they have less of a smell. Try cold meats like turkey, ham or leftover chicken. Cheeses aimed at children tend to have a milder flavour and can be easier to tolerate. Try having lots of small snacks throughout the day rather than aiming for one or two big meals. Probably the most important step is to eat something before you even get out of bed.

QUICK GUIDE

Weight gain in pregnancy differs from woman to woman, but here is a general guide: ✹ Pre-pregnancy BMI between 18.5-24.9 (normal range): total weight gain of 25-35 pounds. ✹ Pre-pregnancy BMI of less than 18.5 (underweight): total weight gain of 28-40 pounds. ✹ Pre-pregnancy BMI of 25-29.9 (overweight): total weight gain of 15-25 pounds. ✹ Pre-pregnancy BMI of 30 or more (obese): total weight gain of 11-20 pounds.

Essential fatty acids are types of fat that are essential in the diet because they can’t be produced by the body. They include omega-6 (linoleic acid) and omega-3 (linolenic acid). These fats help build cells, regulate the nervous system, strengthen the cardiovascular system, build immunity, help the body absorb nutrients, boost brain function and promote healthy vision. Find them in oily fish, fortified foods like eggs and milk, tofu, some nuts and seeds (not for small children) and certain oils like sunflower and corn oils.

The official recommendation is no more than 200mg of caffeine a day. This is roughly 1-2 cups of coffee or 2-4 cups of tea. Studies have indicated that too much caffeine could speed up your baby’s heartbeat and may even raise the risk of still birth or miscarriage. In any case, your pregnant body may find it harder to deal with caffeine and it can make you jittery, cause insomnia or worsen heartburn.

What is… WEIGHT GAIN IN PREGNANCY

What are… ESSENTIAL FATTY ACIDS

All about… CAFFEINE IN PREGNANCY

28/05/2015 12:58

83 ASK THE PHYSIOTHERAPIST

Prep for C Section

Back pain after birth

I am booked in for a Caesarean section next week. What exercises can I do to speed up my recovery afterwards?

I have never suffered with back pain, but since I gave birth last month my back really hurts. It is making it hard for me to get used to life as a new mum. Is this normal?

It will depend on how you are feeling after the C-section, but here are a few things you can try once you feel able: 1. Deep breathing exercises should be done as soon as possible. Inhale through your nose into the sides and backs of your ribs, hold that breath in for three seconds and gently exhale through your mouth. Do five of these breaths every hour. 2. Ankle rotations and gentle movements of the feet up and down can be done while still recovering in bed to help your circulation. Practise for a few seconds every hour. 3. As soon as you feel able, get out of bed (with someone with you for support) and walk slowly around your hospital room. Try to stand up straight. You can support your wound with a small pad firmly pressed against it. 4. Begin pelvic tilting in bed as soon as you feel able. This will work your abdominal muscles gently without stressing your spine. 5. Make sure you talk to the Chartered Physiotherapist before you leave the hospital, so you are clear on what is safe for you to do. 6. Once you are at home, you can practice walking around the house, and going up and down the stairs, again with someone there for support. 7. Get outside for short but frequent walks as much as you can and gradually build up your tolerance. 8. Do not begin any classes, such as post-natal pilates or yoga, until at least 10 weeks after the section, or until your obstetrician has given you the all clear.

Varicose veins There is a history of varicose veins in my family, and I am worried I will develop them now that I’m pregnant. Have you any tips to avoid them? Many women first develop varicose veins, or find that they get worse, during pregnancy. Varicose veins are swollen veins that may bulge near the surface of the skin in your legs or elsewhere in the body. The good news is that varicose veins tend to improve after you give birth, particularly if you didn’t have any before you got pregnant. If varicose veins do not improve after four months, consult your GP for advice on the variety of ways to treat them. There are a few things you can try during your pregnancy to prevent them developing: ✹ Exercise daily. Just a brisk walk around the block can help your circulation. ✹ Elevate your feet and legs, above your heart, whenever possible. ✹ Don’t cross your legs or ankles when sitting. ✹ Don’t sit or stand for long periods without taking breaks to move around. ✹ Wear special support tights that facilitate blood flow back up towards your heart.

THESE ANSWERS ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A PROPER ASSESSMENT BY YOUR CHARTERED PHYSIOTHERAPIST. IT IS VITAL TO DEAL PROMPTLY WITH ANY ACHES AND PAINS AND THEY WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS YOUR BABY GETS BIGGER AND HEAVIER.

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Postnatal low back pain is quite common, but it usually responds quickly to treatment, so don’t ignore it. Your abdominal muscles are your body’s natural corset, giving support to your lower back. These muscles are overstretched and weak now after the birth of your baby, causing your back to feel weak and sore. Try these tips to help: ✹ When you sit, make sure your back is supported and your feet are uncrossed and resting on the floor. ✹ Relax your upper body when you are feeding your baby; rest your baby on a pillow on your lap to bring him close to you to feed. ✹ Change your baby on a surface at waist height to avoid bending over and

straining your back. ✹ Avoid carrying the car seat with baby in it as much as you can; these are very

awkward and heavy, even with a newborn. ✹ Change positions regularly, approx every 20-30 minutes. ✹ As your baby grows, avoid carrying him on one hip. This creates an imbalance

of pressure through the low back and pelvis.

QUICK GUIDE

Squats are a great exercise when you’re pregnant as it strengthens your thighs and helps to open your pelvis in preparation for giving birth. Stand holding the back of a chair for support with your feet slightly wider than hipwidth apart. Contract your tummy muscles, stand straight and relax your shoulders. Lower your tailbone towards the floor as if you are sitting down. Make sure your knees don’t go over your toes. Hold the pose and breathe in. As you breathe out, come to a standing position again.

A baby sling is the perfect way to keep your baby close to you while going about your daily chores or going for a walk. A good sling should feel secure and doesn’t strain your shoulders, neck or back. Make sure your baby is well supported and don’t overdo the terrain if going for a walk – big hills or long hikes mightn’t be ideal. For more on choosing the right sling for you, turn to p52.

Many new mums want to get exercising as soon as they’re given the all-clear after giving birth. But it’s important to start slowly. If you are still experiencing post-partum vaginal discharge and this worsens or restarts, consult your GP or midwife as this could be a sign that you are overdoing it. Pain or exhaustion can also be signs that you are overdoing it.

All about… SQUATS IN PREGNANCY

Top Tip… USE A SLING

How much… IS TOO MUCH?

28/05/2015 12:58

84 ASK THE SLEEP CONSULTANT

Bedtime routine

Insufficient sleep What are the major disadvantages and negative effects for children who do not meet their required amount of sleep each day? Although I would never want to overwhelm or stress out another parent about the implications of sleep deprivation, it is important for all parents to be aware that sleep serves an enormous and significant function. Just as a poor diet has health implications for our children, so will a poor sleep diet. Sleep supervises a variety of biological maintenance jobs. It is important for the maturation of the brain and the central nervous system as well as future cognition, temperament and psychomotor development. Lack of sleep in children can lead to irritability, frustration, moodiness, emotional and behavioural problems as well as a decreased capacity for memory, attention, learning and reasoning. Of course, some under-rested children may have none of these symptoms; however, implications for sleep deprivation may remain hidden until the child is older, as similar to nutrient deficiency. Without overloading a parent in this regard, I would just encourage parents of children to consider sleep as one of the pillars of health and wellbeing. They should aim to become informed and educated about sleep and make it a priority to ensure that your child is getting enough sleep at the right time for them.

Q Minimum sleep time What is the required minimum amount of sleep children of various different age brackets need to get each day? I attempt to work from the following averages and then pare the amount back as required depending on the child. Age Total night-time sleep: Total daytime sleep: Number of naps: 4-6 mths: 10-12 hours 3-4 hours 3-4 6-8 months: 0-12 hours 3.5 hours 3 8-12 months: 0.5-12 hours 2.5-3 hours 2 naps 12-18 months: 10.5-11¼ hours 2-2.5 hours 2 1.5-2.5 years: 10.5-11¼ hours 1.5-2¼ hours 1 2.5-3.5 years: 10.5-12 hours 1-1.5 hours or quiet time 3.5+ years: 10-13 hours straight Potentially no nap now These suggestions will vary from child to child, but I recommend that it is a good idea to try to work towards these amounts. Every child is different and quality of sleep is just as important. That would mean sleep that is consolidated and uninterrupted by anything other than biologically necessary feeds. Also, where the sleep happens is significant too, so sleep that happens in a suitable sleep environment and motionless, is potentially a better quality than sleep that happens in an unconventional sleeping place and perhaps with motion once the child is beyond 4-6 months of age.

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Is there a particular routine or set of preparations that you would encourage a parent to follow in order to get their child to bed at a reasonable hour? My strongest advice would be to learn to read the language of sleep. If you observe that your child is becoming obviously tired: intense eye rubbing, big yawning, fussy, cranky, impatient, unreasonable or hyper in the run-up to bedtime, then this is possibly overtiredness, which will potentially cause a resistance to sleep and in turn frequent night awakenings. If you can try to prepare for sleep time before this presentation, when the symptoms are brief and not very noticeable it can be much easier to help them go to sleep. Typical bedtimes under five would be somewhere between 6-8pm; bring bedtime forward in an attempt to help your child become better rested and then it may be pushed out later again. Having a pre-sleep ritual in the child’s bedroom is necessary to help prepare the young body for sleep. Doing this is the bedroom, with dim lights and low impact, relaxing activities can pave the way for restful sleep. Avoid the use of TV and electronic media at least an hour before bedtime as this can have a negative impact on the ability to go to sleep.

QUICK GUIDE

All about… MUM SLEEP With all this focus on baby’s sleep, what about mums? The Pampers #BabySleep had some interesting statistics. More than half (56%) of Irish mums wake up more than their baby during the night, saying they woke an average of 1-3 times per night, while a further third (36%) wake between 3-6 times a night. The best support a partner can give a new mum? A liein, according to 46% of the mums surveyed! No surprise there!

Music is the perfect way to calm down excited children and prepare them for bedtime. Even better, learning a few lullabies can help soothe baby off to sleep in seconds. You don’t need a good voice, just sing in a low and calm voice. Here are five of our favourites to check out on the internet: ✹ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star ✹ Rock a Bye Baby ✹ Hush Little Baby ✹ Brahms Lullaby ✹ Sleep Baby Sleep

It’s common for kids to wake and come into your bed during the night, but you must deal with it before it becomes an unhealthy habit. Try

Guide to… BEDTIME LULLABIES

How to… KEEP A CHILD IN HIS BED

these tips: ✹ Let your child choose his bedding. ✹ Use a reward chart. ✹ Leave a light on in the hall or give him a night light. ✹ Have a plan and stick to it – don’t give in just because it’s 3am! ✹ Show him a clock and when it’s okay to get up, or use a Gro Clock.

28/05/2015 12:58

85 ASK THE PHARMACIST

Cuts & bruises

Hayfever in children

I have a four year old and a six year old and they’re always getting cuts and bruises from playing outside. What is the best way of dealing with cuts and bruises? And when should I seek medical attention?

I thought it wasn’t possible for young children to have hay fever, but my three year old is showing all the signs. Could she have it? And how can I treat it?

Most cuts and grazes are not serious, but you should check for any signs of infection for the first few days after the cut has occurred. These signs include swelling, pus, redness spreading from the cut/graze, increasing pain in the wound, feeling generally unwell, a high fever of 38°C or above and swollen glands. If you suspect that your child’s injury has become infected, take them to your GP. If your child has a cut that will not stop bleeding or is gaping open, you will need to take them to A&E. Straightforward cuts and grazes can be dressed at home. First, wash and dry your hands thoroughly. Clean the wound under running tap water, but do not use antiseptic because it may damage the tissue and slow down healing. Pat the area dry with a clean towel. Then apply a sterile adhesive dressing, such as a plaster. Keep the dressing clean by changing it as often as necessary. Keep the wound dry by using waterproof dressings, which will allow your child to take showers. The wound should heal by itself in a few days. If the wound is painful, you can give your child painkillers such as paracetamol or ibuprofen. Your local LloydsPharmacy pharmacist can assist and advise you in the treatment of cuts and bruises in your little ones.

Hay fever is very common and it often first develops in school-age children and during the teenage years. Hay fever tends to run in families. You are also more likely to develop hay fever if you already have asthma or eczema. The symptoms of hay fever can vary from person to person. Common symptoms include a runny and itchy nose, a blocked nose, sneezing, itchy and watery red eyes and an itchy throat. Less common symptoms include loss of smell, face pain, sweats and headache. Some people suffer wheezing and breathlessness, which may get worse if you already have asthma. Hay fever in children is usually treated with a liquid antihistamine that is available at your local LloydsPharmacy. If your child’s hay fever symptoms are not controlled on the medication recommended after two to four weeks, you should then discuss this with their GP. Symptoms tend to be less severe if you reduce your exposure to pollen. Try to stay indoors as much as possible and keep windows and doors shut. Avoid cutting grass, large grassy places, and camping. Shower and wash your child’s hair after being outdoors, especially after going to the countryside. Get your child to wear wrap-around sunglasses when they are outside. Keep car windows closed and consider buying a pollen filter for the air vents in your car. These should be changed at every service.

Car sickness We are heading off on holidays and I’m dreading the long car journey as my two year old gets terrible travel sickness. How can I combat this? It’s not clear why car sickness affects some children more than others. While the problem doesn’t seem to affect most infants and toddlers, children ages 2 to 12 are particularly susceptible. To prevent car sickness in children, encourage your child to look at things outside the car. If your child naps, travelling during nap time also might help. Don’t give your child spicy or greasy foods or a large meal immediately before or during car travel. If your travel time will be short, skip food entirely. If the trip will be long or your child needs to eat, give him or her a small, bland snack — such as dry crackers and a small drink — before it’s time to go. When travelling, open windows to avoid getting too hot and to get a good supply of fresh air. If your child is prone to car sickness, try distracting him or her during car trips by talking, listening to music or singing songs. If your child starts to develop car sickness, stop the car as soon as possible and let your child get out and walk around — or lie on his or her back for a few minutes with closed eyes. Placing a cool cloth on your child’s forehead also might help. If these tips don’t seem to help or your child’s car sickness makes travel difficult or impossible, ask your child’s doctor about other options.

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QUICK GUIDE

Guide to… MORNING SICK NESS CURES An estimated 50% of women suffer from morning sickness. ✹ Ensure you take plenty of rest. ✹ Stick to plain, bland foods in small quantities. ✹ Try ginger biscuits, sweets or drinks. Seaband ginger lozenges are available from LloydsPharmacy. ✹ Try acupressure bands (available in your local LloydsPharmacy). ✹ Wear comfortable clothing, especially around the waist.

What is… HAY FEVER? Hay fever is caused by an allergy to grass or hay pollens, but the term may also be used for an allergy to other pollens, such as tree pollen or weed pollen. Symptoms are caused by the immune system reacting to the pollen. Cells on the lining of the nose and eyes release histamine and other chemicals when they come into contact with pollen. This causes inflammation in the nose (rhinitis) and eyes (conjunctivitis). Sometimes the sinuses and throat can also be affected.

Tip… GENTLE IRON SUPPLEMENT Many pregnant women require an iron supplement as your body needs about twice the usual amount of iron in order to make extra blood for your baby. If you need a supplement, a gentle option is Spatone, a 100% natural iron rich water supplement that causes fewer unpleasant side effects than conventional iron supplements. Add it to fruit juice, as the Vitamin C increases your body’s ability to absorb the iron. Only take supplements under advice.

28/05/2015 12:59

86 ASK THE GP

Conjunctivitis in toddler

Molloscum Contagiosum

I’ve a three-year-old son who suffers from recurring conjunctivitis. I use an antibiotic cream but is there an alternative?

My three year old has recently been diagnosed with Molluscum Contagiosum. How long will this last? Is it infectious? Can he go swimming?

Conjunctivitis is very common in children and often associated with another infection. Viral conjunctivitis is usually a milder, shorter-lasting infection with a watery discharge. Bacterial conjunctivitis often causes a thicker, greenish yellow discharge, which may gum the lids together and may be associated with a sore throat or cough. Both conditions are very infectious. Although bacterial infections will respond to antibiotic creams, additional approaches will improve your son’s symptoms. Carefully bathe the affected eye(s) regularly during the day, using cotton wool soaked in cooled boiled water. Use disposable tissues. Make sure your son has his own flannel and towel and change his pillowcase daily. If he seems to have recurrent conjunctivitis, one alternative possibility is an allergy. This is more likely if he has other atopic conditions, such as asthma or eczema or if there is a strong family history of these. Allergic conjunctivitis typically causes reddened and very itchy eyes with less discharge and may be seasonal, being more common in spring and summer. Talk to your GP about antihistamines.

This is a very common childhood viral infection and usually doesn’t cause significant symptoms. Sometimes the spots can be mildly itchy, but most children have less than 20, scattered over their body. Each spot lasts for approximately 6 – 12 weeks and will get better on its own. Normally they disappear without trace, but occasionally you may be able to see a tiny patch of lighter skin or pit mark. The virus can spread to new areas of the skin, so as old spots are healing new ones may form. This can mean it can take up to 12 to 18 months before the infection fully goes away. If your son is otherwise completely fit and well, most doctors do not recommend any treatment. Most adults and older children are immune to Molluscum infections because they have already had it. Infections can be so mild that you (or your parents) may not remember or notice that you or your older children have had it in the past. Normally no restrictions are suggested, so although you should explain your son has molluscum, he can go to nursery, and shouldn’t stop activities such as swimming. You can reduce the risk of infection by avoiding sharing towels, flannels or clothing with others and keeping affected areas covered by clothing if this is possible. You should also avoid contact with people whose immune system is weakened, for example patients having chemotherapy for cancer.

Treating Fever When is a fever considered high, and how dhould I deal with it? A child’s normal temperature is between 36.5°C and 37.5°C. A fever, or high temperature, is generally considered to be a temperature at or above 38°C. A fever is a normal response, usually to a viral or bacterial infection. Fevers are common in young children and usually settle down quite quickly. If your room is a normal temperature, you can take off some of their clothing to cool them down. A room fan, not directly onto your child, but keeping air circulating, can be helpful, and opening a window will have the same effect. Although your child may be reluctant to eat, it’s important to encourage fluid intake. Water or juice, but not fizzy drink, is ideal. Little but often is best. If you are breastfeeding you should continue with this. ‘Cold sponging’ is not now recommended but many children find that a cool bath or shower may help settle them off to sleep. Many parents do give paracetamol or anti-inflammatory products specifically marketed for children; these can be used alternately, providing you are careful to follow the dosage instructions. There’s no need to treat a mild fever with medicine if your child is comfortable. Occasionally fevers can be a sign of a more serious illness. Drowsiness, difficulty in breathing, rash, vomiting, or pain that won’t settle indicate that your child needs to see a doctor.

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QUICK GUIDE

Treating… CONSTIPATION IN BABIES If your baby is straining, has a hard tummy or passing solids only a few times a week, she may constipated. ✹ Gently move your baby’s legs in a bicycling motion. ✹ If your baby is drinking formula, give her some cooled boiled water between feeds. ✹ If your baby is on solids, make sure she is getting plenty of fibre. Try apples, pears or prunes. ✹ Consult your doctor who may suggest a mild laxative.

About eight in every 1,000 baby boys are born with only one testicle in their scrotum. The other testicle is usually present, but higher up towards their tummy. Checking for an undescended testicle should be part of your newborn baby check. Some undescended testicles come down by themselves within the first six months, but other babies might need surgery to correct the issue. This is performed under anaesthetic.

Stridor is a loud, highpitched, rasping noise caused by obstructed airways. It is most common in young children whose airways are smaller and usually accompanies upper respiratory tract infections or croup. It is generally worse at night. Rarely, stridor can be caused by trauma or a foreign body. As stridor is a symptom not a disease, treatment depends on what is causing the stridor. If your child’s stridor gets progressively worse, always seek medical attention.

Dealing with… UNDESCENDED TESTICLES

What is… STRIDOR?

28/05/2015 12:59

87 COMPETITION

WIN!

Congratulations to Jennifer Quinn from Dublin, winner of last issue’s competition!

A WEEKEND BREAK FOR TWO WITH SPA TASTER PACKAGE AND DINNER AT

KNOCKRANNY HOUSE HOTEL & SPA

WESTPORT, CO MAYO

nockranny House Hotel & Spa in Westport, Co Mayo, is polished, comfortable and genuinely welcoming, featuring a stunning spa, a terrific bar, great food and luxurious rooms. A former AA Hotel of the Year, Knockranny House Hotel & Spa is recognised as one of Ireland’s finest luxury fourstar deluxe hotels and destination spa establishments. Open log fires and antique furniture combine with every modern comfort to provide visitors with the perfect Westport hotel in which to relax whilst enjoying the superb service, excellent cuisine and spa facilities that Knockranny House Hotel & Spa are renowned for. The McKenna Guide refers to Knockranny as “an unmissable destination”. Our fabulous competition this issue gives one reader and a guest the chance to see what everyone is talking about. Perfect as a weekend getaway for tired parents during the summer holidays, this great prize includes two nights’ bed and breakfast with dinner on one night in Knockranny’s award-winning La Fougère restaurant. You can each enjoy a spa taster treatment in Spa Salveo, which includes a facial, massage and complimentary access to the gorgeous Vitality Pool and Thermal Suites. Want to know more? See www.knockrannyhousehotel.ie for more amazing offers.

HOW TO WIN To be in the draw for this amazing prize, simply answer the following question correctly:

Where is Knockranny House Hotel & Spa located? Email your answer and contact details to competitions@maternityandinfant.ie, with KNOCKRANNY in the subject line. Or send a postcard with your answer and contact details, marked KNOCKRANNY, to maternity & infant, Ashville Media Group, Old Stone Building, Blackhall Green, Dublin 7. Terms and Conditions: Prize includes two nights bed and breakfast, dinner on one night and a spa taster package for two people, is subject to availability, nontransferable and not valid during Easter, Christmas, New Year or bank holidays. Closing date for all entries is 20th July 2015. Prize is non-transferable. Competition is not open to employees of Ashville Media Group or Knockranny House Hotel & Spa. No cash or gift card will be awarded in lieu of stated prize. If any of the items offered are unavailable or out of stock, a suitable alternative will be provided. Winner will be selected at random from a draw and will be contacted by phone. Competition entrants must be resident in the island of Ireland. One entry per person. Competition is also subject to all usual terms and conditions.

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Knockranny House Hotel & Spa, Westport, Co Mayo T: +353 (0) 98 28600 E: info@khh.ie

28/05/2015 11:23

88 BLOG WE LOG

GAME

CHANGER

I’m DENISE, a new mum to my little boy Alby. I started my blog New Mum Tales to document my way through becoming a mum – here I try to put into words how much my perception of life, and the world, has changed since my little bundle arrived.

became a mum last November when we welcomed our first son Alby into the world. A lot of things have changed since that day – and literally overnight. In our case, two became three and I was no longer the centre of the universe – he most certainly was. I’ve changed. There I said it and it wasn’t an easy thing to admit. Does motherhood change everyone? Who knows, I can only speak for myself. Everything seems so different to me now that I look through these two eyes as a mother. If we’re out and I see another mother trying to settle her crying baby I no longer look away, or worse, wish that she’d take her crying baby outside. Instead I try to give her a reassuring look that I know only too well what it’s like to be in her shoes. If I’m in the supermarket and I see a child misbehaving or having a tantrum I no longer stare but rather wonder to myself how long it will be before my child is doing the same. If I’m in the coffee shop and I meet another mother pushing a buggy ordering a coffee with four extra shots I quietly smile to myself and wonder how many hours sleep she actually got last night. These motherly eyes have done all sorts of crazy stuff to me. I can no longer ignore the sight of a newborn without oohing and aahing, or when I hear a toddler laughing I find myself looking in their direction to see what exactly they find so funny. Meeting friends and going for lunch is no longer the same either. I recently met a friend for lunch and as we walked around town I wondered why the paths were so uneven and not buggy friendly. Our first pick for lunch wasn’t exactly ideal either;

once I managed to get the buggy through the door (much easier with somebody helping) I took one look around and could see that the aisles were instantly going to be a problem. I would spend most of my lunch ‘excusing and apologising’ trying to let people squeeze past me and the buggy. Our next choice wasn’t exactly buggy friendly either with two steps into the restaurant. Steps with no ramps? Yes they still exist, it’s definitely not the first place I’ve come across with steps and no ramp, virtually impossible with a buggy. How could my pre-mother eyes have been so ‘blind’ so to speak? Using public toilets has also changed. I’m constantly looking for the baby-changing facilities and hoping that they’re clean and adequate. I once used a nice, fancy marble table in a toilet to change my son’s nappy. There wasn’t a baby changer, so armed with my mammy bag that literally has everything in it I took out my neat, fold-up mat and began changing away. That will teach them for having a fancy marble table instead of a changing facility for babies! I’m probably not the first and won’t be the last to admit that I look at my own mother in a different light since becoming a mum. It has made me appreciate and understand everything she has done for me. I also know for the first time in my life what it’s like to be busy, multi-task, survive on little or no sleep and yet your heart is so full. Most of all, I’m so grateful for everything my son has taught me already – and I thought I was the one who was supposed to be teaching him! It’s really not about what you give up when you become a mother but most definitely about what you gain.

FOLLOW DENISE’S PARENTING ADVENTURES ON NEW MUM TALES

newmumtales.wordpress.com If you’re a parenting blogger, we want to hear from you! Email us at editorialdesk@ashville.com

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28/05/2015 11:20