19 Candles

ANDLES Year 4

Issue No. 19 Please send your suggestions & Articles for the next issue of CANDLES to “Mr. Chiradeep Patra, 11A/1A, Mahendra Chatterjee Lane, Kolkata - 700 046;

E-Mail:

asmideep@in.com Cell: 09230441416 All the articles should reach us at least one month in advance. The publisher reserves the right to edit, publish or reject the submitted articles. Articles submitted Cannot be returned, so please keep a copy of the article sent to us.

Local Address for New Delhi

Contact: Rev. Joshua 109-B#Pkt - I, Dilshadgarden New Delhi - 110 095 Cell:09810364986 E-mail: seva_network@hotmail.com “For Private Circulation Only”

Editorial

Mind Your Words-II

I

remember, in the last issue of CANDLES I confessed that I could not achieve the goal of controlling my words. Many may think 'if Chiradeep being a counselor cannot achieve it then what example he can set before others or how can the general public look up to him.' What I meant was, I could not achieve it fully. As apostle Paul said that 'I am still running towards the goal.' Yes! As a counselor I am still running towards my goal of 'controlling my words'. Trust me it's not that difficult. 'Practice makes a man perfect.' If you practice it daily at your home and within your friend circle, then I am sure you can achieve it.

Continuing with the tongue business, today I want to bring to your notice three very important points in regards to controlling our speech. Firstly, so many times we engage ourselves in flattering and boasting. This is quite a dangerous venture.

Psalmist says in Psalms 12:3, 'May the LORD cut off all flattering lips and every boastful tongue.' Secondly, so many times we speak lies and evil things to people just to show our attitude. But there's a command in Psalms 34:13, which says, 'keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.' Thirdly, gossip is a very common practice among the friends, neighbours, colleagues and even within families. The wise king Solomon says in, Proverbs 20:19: 'A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.' So lets not gossip or else we may be avoided by our friends, colleagues and family members.

The wise king further says in Proverbs 21:23 that 'He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.' So many times for our careless talk we have to face adverse consequences. Why not then think ten times before we speak something. Again he says in Proverbs 15:4 that 'the tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.' Are we not called for healing broken hearts? Is our tongue crushes the spirit or bless them and heal them. God bless you.

Chiradeep Patra, is the accountant of National Fellowship, a Social Organisation. He is a psychological counselor and an author of many articles. He can be contacted at: ‘chiradeep.nf@gmail.com’

General

Why do people continue smoking?

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eople never stop their bad habits even if they are aware of the adverse effects of it. They continue their habits. Last time we saw ‘why people smoke?’ And today we are going to see that ‘why do people continue smoking?’ The reasons are given as under: § One of the major reasons why people continue smoking is that nicotine is highly addictive.

This makes it really difficult for them to give up smoking. § A lot of people think that they need cigarettes in order to cope with stress. However, nicotine is a stimulant; it makes the heart beat faster and raises the blood pressure. So in fact, smoking does not really relax people at all or help them cope with unpleasant situations. § People probably think that smoking relaxes them, when in reality, smoking a cigarette, just stops the withdrawal symptoms that have started appearing after not having one for a while. § Living with a family member or partner who smokes makes it much harder to quit, even though the person may really want to. § Many women are afraid of giving up smoking as they think that they will gain a huge amount of weight when they stop. § A lot of people are so used to smoking that they do it out of habit and they don't even really want a cigarette some of the time. For example, a person may light up a cigarette when he does certain activities in particular, such as talking on the phone, reading the paper or watching television. § As with the younger generation, smoking may be a way of staying with their friends' group or making new friends.

Whatever the reasons when people start smoking in the first place, the majority of them quickly become addicted and continue to smoke for a long period of time. Some manage to quit, probably after many unsuccessful attempts, whilst others continue to smoke for the rest of their lives, however long or short that may be. It is a fact however, that over 50% of smokers wish that they didn't smoke. Therefore, it should be apparent that most people smoke because they are addicted to nicotine. For them, not to smoke would need an immense amount of willpower, a huge amount of support from family and friends and for some, expert medical advice and help.

Rajnandini Sahu from Cuttack, has done her Post Graduation in Psychology & is presently pursuing higher studies. She is also an excellent writer. She can be contacted at: ‘rsahu1023@gmail.com’

CORRECTION “We apologize for a printing mistake in the last issue (18th) of CANDLES in the article ‘Why do people smoke?’ Where De-stressing was printed as Distressing.”

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Body & Mind

15 tips to stay positive in negative situations

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here are times when we must go through negative situations. Maybe people say something negative about us, or

they show rejection or even resentment against us. In such situations, it may be difficult to stay positive. We may

be inclined to react negatively to them. That won't do us any good though; doing so will just make the situation worse.

People may behave even more negatively to us. Our day would be filled with anger and disappointment. At the end, nobody wins.

Though it's not easy, it's important to stay positive in negative situations. Beat the negative situations by staying positive. Here are 15 tips on how to do it; pick the ones that work for you: 1. Never respond when you are not calm. If you are not sure that you are calm, don't respond. Take time to calm yourself down first.

2. Take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down.

3. Speak in gentle tone to reduce the tension of the situation. I know it's hard. But try. You'll be amazed by the results.

4. Realize that you can find opportunities in negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” For example, a poor test result tells you which areas you're weak in. You can either choose to be miserable about it, or take this as an opportunity to work on those weak areas, develop them, and make sure you don't make the same mistakes the next time.

5. When you have a bad day and feel, “This day itself is unlucky for me. I'll just have to wait and let it pass.” Instead of that, you can look out for tiny little positive things that happened in the day. There MUST be something positive in your average “bad day.” You bet!

6. Learn to simply ignore the negative messages that you might receive from other people, unless you know that they are part of some constructive criticism, which we all need.

7. Maintain positive view of the people. May be you don't like their messages or behaviour, but that doesn't mean that you should dislike them personally.

8. Realize that having negative feelings will just hurt you, not them. So there is no reason for you to have any negative feeling.

9. If you make mistakes, be open to admit it.

10. If you make mistakes, remember this quote by George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

11. If you can, listen to motivational audio programs or read motivational material to feed positive thoughts into your mind.

12. Talk to a positive friend who can encourage you. Stay away from 'energy vampires'-the negative woe-is-me people who leave not only themselves but people around them devoid of positive energy.

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13. Remember your favourite quotes and verses to give you inspiration and motivation. You can also subscribe to some 'quote of the day' system, which will deliver a motivational quote to your inbox every morning.

14. Look at the negative situations as your training sessions for real life. The higher you climb in life, the worse the negative situations would be. There's no way to avoid them. So you'd better be prepared for them.

15. Realize that you can't please everyone. In fact, nobody can. Sometimes you need to just let some people go.

Realizing this will relieve you from a lot of unnecessary burden so that you can focus on the people that you can positively interact with.

That was your short-and-sweet life lesson for today. Until next time, rock on!

Sulagna Dasgupta, is a writer & a counselor, who believes in continuous improvement of the self. Visit her website: www.changeyourlifenow.co.nr which contains her self-help blog, articles by herself and other self-help experts. She also provides individual free e-counseling through this site. She can be contacted at: sulagnaadasgupta@gmail.com with individual queries and requests for specific self-help related advice.

INSPIRATION

Searching For Answers

M

y mind searches for answers

In a world too confusing to comprehend, And asks questions bigger than itself.

Why is there war and why there is famine?

So many questions and so few answers.

What are we doing here and where are we going?

What is the purpose? We're never knowing.

Was it an accident or was it on purpose?

Is there a reason or was it a notion?

God has the answers, we must believe, For to do otherwise is folly indeed.

Better to have no answers, Yet believe that God has a plan, Than to believe there is no plan And still not have the answers.

David Pekrul is a retired airline employee, living in Canada, in the shadow of the Canadian Rocky Mountains. In 2004 he started writing and found poetry to be what he enjoyed most. In recent years he has also lead Bible studies in his home Online CANDLES at: http://candlesmagazine.blogspot.com Join the our online network at: http://asmideep.webs.com Page 4