ANDLES Year 4
Issue No. 21 Please send your suggestions & Articles for the next issue of CANDLES to “Mr. Chiradeep Patra, 11A/1A, Mahendra Chatterjee Lane, Kolkata - 700 046;
E-Mail:
asmideep@in.com Cell: 09230441416
Editorial
Are You Angry?
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nger is a common phenomenon. But if it's not controlled in time it may be lethal. It has adverse affects on the person who gets angry, it can hurt others emotionally, and it can destroy & poison the whole environment. Few things we need to remember in our life about this venom called 'Anger', which are given below: God doesn't like it: We should remember that God doesn't like when we get angry and speak rudely to others. That's why the Bible says, 'my dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.' Anger is Sin: We are instructed to subdue our anger as quick as possible because it is sin. We need to understand that anger itself is not sin but the after effect of anger is sin. As we all know we lose our consciousness when we are angry. That way we commit sin. That's why God says, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
Local Address for New Delhi
Contact: Rev. Joshua 109-B#Pkt - I, Dilshadgarden New Delhi - 110 095 Cell:09810364986 E-mail: seva_network@hotmail.com “For Private Circulation Only”
Be Wise: King Solomon the wise king states, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” So when we don't control our emotion of anger we are considered as foolish. Most of the great people knew well to control their anger. That's why they were honored as wise people. Anger is taxing: The wise king also says, “For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife." I have already mentioned that how anger is so difficult to handle. Even sometimes anger causes ulcer in our stomach. It has its manifold adverse effects. In conclusion I would like to say that we should also be careful not to make others angry. As we all know that, “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Lastly, LOVE can be used as potion, as it is not easily angered and It keeps no record of wrongs. God bless you!
Chiradeep Patra, is the accountant of National Fellowship, a Social Organisation. He is a psychological counselor and an author of many articles. He can be contacted at: ‘chiradeep.nf@gmail.com’
SMOKING: Remedial Measures - II
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n the last issue we had already discussed about the remedial measures of smoking and we will be continuing it in this issue also as follows: Medical/ Biological Approaches Heavy smokers, who want to quit smoking, may require, on a temporary basis, some pharmacological substitute for the nicotine they are deriving from cigarettes. Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) is the most common therapeutic approach that assists in quitting smoking. NRT includes the use of either of the following: Nicotine gum Chewing gums containing nicotine Nicotine patches Multilayered pads containing nicotine which are applied to the skin Nicotine Inhalator A plastic tube shaped kike a cigarette holder that contains nicotine Nicotine Lozenge Nicotine Nasal Spray Buproprion An antidepressant sold under the names of Wellbutrin and Zyban NOTE: All the above are available in most of the drug stores (medicine shops). However, chemists usually require a doctor's prescription before handing them out. DO NOT buy any of these without seeking a reliable doctor's opinion.
The Spiritual Approach Prayer changes things. An important step towards breaking free from the entanglements of this bondage is prayer support. Remember, the Bible says in James 5:16b, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” However, James 2:17 also says, “… faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” Hence, one needs to act & seek help. Many Christian youngsters cite Matthew 15:11 to justify their action not only in case of smoking but also in the cases of consuming alcohol or abusing drugs. The verse says, “What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean', but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'” While making them aware of the correct interpretation of the verse, it would also be wise to draw their attention to 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 which says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honour God with your body” and 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 which says, “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him; for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple”. God bless you all!
Rajnandini Sahu from Cuttack, has done her Post Graduation in Psychology & is presently pursuing higher studies. She is also an excellent writer. She can be contacted at: ‘rsahu1023@gmail.com’ Page 2
Body & Mind
How to handle a break-up: Part I Treat yourself…go shopping…get a new haircut…talk to friends and family…
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oogle “handling break-up” (or something like that) and you'll find all of that. If you're reading this you probably already have. But have you tried any of these? If you have you'll realize that they don't work. Simple. Do you know why? Because these are petty tricks you're trying to play on your heart. You're trying to make it believe that it's happy, while actually it isn't. In recent years psychology has come to accept the idea that the heart has a mind of its own. And make no mistake-it's as intelligent as you are. You can't really fool it. You'll waste your time and actually make yourself more miserable in the process of conning your heart into believing that nothing has happened. Believe me, the first step of handling a break-up or separation is to acknowledge it. You just can't pretend that it's not a big deal. It is. Well that is why you're trying your best to pretend it's not, in the first place. Unfortunately it's one of the rules this world goes by, that a break-up is never really consensual. It happens when one person has lost interest in or has got too tired of the other. But the other person usually finds themselves still in love with them. It's painful for you only if you are the second position. You don't have a choice but to accept that you can't force anyone into being in love with you. Neither can you force yourself into being indifferent about it. It's a law-no one gets everything that they want in life. Consider him/her one of those things that are not meant to be yours. One mistake you should never ever make at this stage is trying to reconcile (of course, only if you're sure that this indeed is a real break-up and not a tiff). Blunt as it might sound, you're simply irritating the other person. And that'll show through their behavior with you. Believe me, that'll hurt you way more than it's hurting you now. But don't confuse this with pretending to be strong. This will sound radical to you-but the truth is that you can't. If you really are in love with someone who doesn't love you anymore, you can't pretend to be strong-you'll only waste your time and make yourself unhappy. Page 3
Be thankful for the good times you spent together. Ask yourself, “Isn't it better that I had him(her)even though it may have been for a short while-than not having him(her) at all?” Think of the times when he (she) did love you. If you want you can even write sweet things they said to you on post-its and surround yourself with them. Don't use common messages like “I love you” etc. Use the ones which are specific to your boyfriend/girlfriend, the ones which will invariably remind you of how much they loved you. (You're adding beauty to that dress, not the other way round...You're my sweet little kid, I have to be your mother…I like to listen to you even when you talk about your ex, just because you're saying those words…) Now of course this is a high-riskhigh-return strategy-works well for some and is fatal for some others. Try this only if you think reliving their love will make you feel better, not worse. Since you're regretting you broke up, at the moment you're probably feeling that the best thing that could've happened was your getting married to that person. But think of it this way-would he (she) have seemed so very precious to you then? No. They would've very quickly become 'everyday', 'same old'. What's the regret if something remains as a bunch of sweet, priceless memories in your life, rather than becoming a part of the mundane? But none of the above mentioned steps would work if you've had bitter quarrels and blame-games culminating in a break-up. You should part amicably and remain friends if possible. I know it's easier said than done, but given that you love him (her) so much, wouldn't you rather want to continue to be a part of his (her) life than not? For now, that's all from my side. In part II of this article we'll talk about what you can gain (yes, gain) from a break-up. Unbelievable as it might sound, do come back to read How to Handle a Break-up: Part II to find out how. Meanwhile, enjoy your weekend!
Sulagna Dasgupta, is a writer & a counselor, who believes in continuous improvement of the self. Visit her website: www.changeyourlifenow.co.nr which contains her self-help blog, articles by herself and other self-help experts. She also provides individual free e-counseling through this site. She can be contacted at: sulagnaadasgupta@gmail.com with individual queries and requests for specific self-help related advice.
CANDLES Wishes All The Readers A Prosperous 2010! Online CANDLES at: http://candlesmagazine.blogspot.com Join our online network at: http://asmideep.webs.com Page 4