H E A LT H Y Y O U
Love & Connection STORY MICHELLE JOHNS
MA, LPC-MHSP (TEMP), NCC, 200 HR E-RTY, 500 HR RYT
february
is heart month. We celebrate our love for intimate partners and friends, and we are encouraged to take note of our cardiovascular health, as well. Interestingly, our mental and biological health are far more connected than we often consider. Scientific research indicates close relationships have a significant impact on our health and well-being. People who have close relationships that include acceptance and understanding as part of a safe and secure connection are mentally and biologically healthier. The aspects of love and intimacy are broad with many ways of being defined. Our relationships are contextual in that many of us have family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances within our communities, in addition to having a significant partner. Each relationship may be considered intimate, but with defining parameters. Having a variety of relationships supports personal growth and mental well-being across the span of life. Humans are designed for social connection. When we are understood and accepted in communities of belonging, we feel cared for and loved. When we feel cared for and loved, our ability to navigate stressful situations improves and long-term depression decreases. Research shows that people with fewer mental health disorders are more productive, motivated, happier, have lower levels of cardiovascular disease and fewer chronic physical diseases across their lifespan. People who have
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positive connections with others are less likely to utilize or need medical treatments. Compassion and empathy are key aspects of intimate connection. Compassion, the desire to help someone when they are in distress, and empathy, the desire to understand someone in their distress, are equally necessary and important to overall social connections. Interestingly, our perception of others’ care and love for us plays a significant factor in our daily life satisfaction. In other words, when we perceive that others care for and love us, we are generally happier and more positive. While it is certainly important to receive love and care from others, it is vitally important to give care and love to those with whom we are connected. While there are a multitude of ways to connect with others and increase our wellbeing, I will highlight a few. We communicate with words, through body language, and tone of voice. When we engage in conversation with others, we want to choose words that promote curiosity and provide clarity. Words, body language and tone of voice are directly related to feelings of support and acceptance. Body language that is open and friendly creates immediate connection and safe space. Greeting others with a smile is a first step in creating a warm invitation. Keeping your arms at your side, extending your hand for a handshake or both arms to hug those with whom you are most intimate presents an open-body stance and invites connections. Crossed arms and a scowling face send a message to stay away.
