An Informational Guide for Auburn Students
How to Respond in a Healthy Way to Anger
Anger: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Anger is a natural, healthy emotion that often accompanies a felt sense of being wronged or experience of an injustice. While anger often gets a bad reputation and is often discouraged relative to societal messages, it is actually healthy to allow oneself to feel angry rather than to suppress anger. It is not the anger itself that is problematic but rather how one responds to his/her recognition of feeling angry. So then, when does anger have the potential to be unhealthy? 1. When one does not allow him/ herself to express anger and instead “stuffs it,” or suppresses it inwardly, which over time may result in the anger coming out unexpectedly and often at unwanted times. Example: John is angry at his professor and does not talk about it and then gets upset with his best friend about something completely unrelated. 2. When one expresses outwardly his/ her anger in a hostile way.
Example: Laura throws her cell phone after an argument with her boyfriend. 3. When one is aggressive towards others when angry. Example: Jamie hits his/her roommate during an argument related to Jamie’s room-mate using his/her computer without asking for permission to do so.
can’t control yourself or handle opposing viewpoints. Others will be more willing to listen to you and accommodate your needs if you communicate in a respectful way. Myth: I can’t help myself. Anger isn’t something you can control.
Myths and Facts About Anger
Fact: You can’t always control the situation you’re in or how it makes you feel, but you can control how you express your anger. And you can express your anger without being verbally or physically abusive. Even if someone is pushing your buttons, you always have a choice about how to respond.
Myth: I shouldn’t “hold in” my anger. It’s healthy to vent and let it out.
Myth: Anger management is about learning to suppress your anger.
Fact: While it’s true that suppressing and ignoring anger is unhealthy, venting is no better. Anger is not something you have to “let out” in an aggressive way in order to avoid blowing up. In fact, outbursts and tirades only fuel the fire and reinforce your anger problem. Myth: Anger, aggression, and intimidation help me learn.
Fact: Never getting angry is not a good goal. Anger is normal, and it will come out regardless of how hard you try to suppress it. Anger management is all about becoming aware of your underlying feelings and needs and developing healthier ways to manage being upset. Rather than trying to suppress your anger, the goal is to express it in constructive ways.
Fact: True power doesn’t come from bullying others. People may be afraid of you, but they won’t respect you if you
*adapted from: www.helpguide.org/mental/ anger_management_control_tips_techniques. htm
Anger Management Anger management refers to learning how to better control one’s response to anger. There are a variety of strategies that one can learn to help him/herself respond in a more controlled way in anger provoking situations. The following are steps to better managing anger: 1. Recognize I have a problem controlling my anger. 2. Seek to identify support resources. 3. Access support resources.
Student Counseling Services Counseling available to assist students relative to anger management concerns. The service is free and confidential.
Examples of potential coping strategies that may be explored through counseling include the following:
STOP Are you having a hard timemanaging your anger?
• Identifying anger provoking triggers • Becoming more aware of physiological indicators of anger
Do you lose control when angry?
• Monitoring one’s thoughts and interpretations of anger provoking situations • Learning and applying anger reduction strategies (e.g., deep breathing, redirecting oneself when angry through activity involvement, engagement in cognitive activities such as counting until calm, leaving the situation before it escalates or for a “cool down” period of time)
Do you often have regrets about your actions when angry? Do you wish that you could learn how to cool down when angry?
Office Hours: 8 am - 5 pm Monday - Friday Call 844.5123 to make an appointment www.auburn.edu/scs E-mail: scsinfo@auburn.edu
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E/ scsinfo@auburn.edu
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