Debate | Issue 3 | Lost & Found

DEBATE ISSUE 3 | LOST & FOUND | MARCH 2020

1

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by 31 May

EDITOR Ben Webber ben.webber@aut.ac.nz DESIGNER Ramina Rai ILLUSTRATOR Yi Jong FEATURE WRITER Rebecca Zhong NEWS REPORTER Larissa Howie CONTRIBUTORS Nathan Limm, Hazel Buckingham, Ruamano Te Koi, Seth Nicholls, Sophia Romanos, David Bailey, James Tapp, Siddhi Sharma, Abigail Johnson & Melissa Koh

contents 4 Editor’s Letter 5 What’s On 6 Fashion Without Barriers

ADVERTISING Jesse Jones jesse.jones@aut.ac.nz

7 O Week Shield

PRINTER Nicholson Print Solutions

8 Fast Fashion

DISCLAIMER Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AUTSA, its advertisers, contributors, Nicholson Print Solutions or its subsidiaries.

11 Rapua te mea ngaro 12 Self-Portraits on Sticks 14 Coming Unstuck

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUT STUDENT ASSOCIATION (“AUTSA”).

Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AUTSA.

16 How to Find Yourself

Debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

28 Bravely Abroad

Follow Debate! debatemag.com debate_mag autsadebate debate@aut.ac.nz

18 AUTSA Block Party 20 Giveaways 22 Science Behind the Song 24 Fading Memories 26 Second-Hand Wonders 30 Get Lost 32 Recipe 34 Puzzles 3

On page 8, Hazel Buckingham shares her tips for how to shop more sustainably. Hazel’s writing has a lovely way of gently encouraging the reader to think about purchases without ‘pointing the finger’ at people over their shopping habits.

On page 12, Seth Nicholls talks about going from someone who went from looking at protests from a distance to getting right into the thick of things and becoming a part of them.

And over on page 22, Rebecca Zhong explores how music can trigger not just memories, but also a huge range of emotions too. She talks about how this can be painful in some instances and amazing in others.

I would also like to quickly mention that this will be my final issue as editor of Debate. I have had an absolutely wonderful time bringing this magazine to you every couple of weeks and I’ve felt so lucky to have worked with such a great team.

FROM THE EDITOR Hello!

I can’t believe we’re up to Issue 3 of Debate already. The time is, as always, flying by for us all here. The theme of this issue is ‘Lost and Found’ and it’s been really interesting going through the work that people submitted to us.

The words ‘lost’ and ‘found’ can have both negative and positive connotations and it’s been fascinating to see how our writers interpreted the theme. Some of the stories shared with us have been deeply personal and I feel lucky that our writers are so open with sharing their stories - it’s a real privilege.

In my time in this role, the support from my AUTSA colleagues has been incredible, as has that of our volunteer contributor base. I have also been lucky enough to work with a small but mighty team of part-timers on the mag who have been such a source of inspiration.

On a final note, as COVID-19 becomes an increasing issue, Debate would like to encourage our readers to follow AUT advice and Ministry of Health advice. Don’t get too bogged down with sensationalist media reporting and try to focus on the facts. We want you to stay as safe as possible.

I wish each and every one of you the best with your studies going forward.

Ben

What WAS on - but stay home if you can!

The Legend of Barron To'a

Korean Watercolours

Casual First Date

Where: Hawkins Theatre, Papakura When: Wed 4 March – Mon 30 March What: The Legend of Baron To’a tells the story of Fritz, a Tongan entrepreneur who returns to his old neighbourhood and inadvertently causes the theft of his late father’s valued pro wrestling title belt by some ruthless gangsters led by ‘manmountain’ Tahu. When negotiation and diplomacy fail to get it back, he is forced to embrace his father’s legacy to reclaim the title.

How much: Students $11 at door

Where: Northart, Northcote When: Sat 14 March – Sun 29 March What: Korean watercolourist Diana Won meets monthly in West Auckland to practice traditional painting methods with sixteen other artists. Exhibiting for the first time on the Shore, the group’s show of exquisite watercolours highlights and celebrates Aotearoa New Zealand’s diversity and inclusiveness.

How much: Free

Where: Tiny Theatre, Garnet Station, Westmere When: Fri 27 March What: A fresh and quirky performance plucked straight from the wild imaginations of the performers. A show where anything could happen, from alley cat symphonies to picnics under the red glow of Jupiter, cavemen learning to kill lions, dumbledwarf potions and outrageous revelations from stick-insects, personal assistance, star-crossed lovers and everything in between.

How much: General admission $14 + fees

Four Walls: Part Tahi

Jung & the Restless

A Guide to Second Date Sex

Where: Depot Artspace, Devonport When: Sat 21 March – Wed 8 April What: Four Walls brings together four artists who will have use of a single wall each in the main gallery. Includes the work of David Bell (Illustration abstracted), Jermaine Reihana (Kahokaho) and Louise Keen (Menagerie).

How much: Free

Where: Covert Theatre, Ponsonby When: March 22 & March 29 What: The Covert’s improvised soap opera has set up shop at the Covert on Sundays.

The comedy show where all characters are based on Jungian archetypes. Set at the Shadowlands Health Clinic, follow the drama of your favourite health professionals and clients all under the watchful eye of Carl Jung himself.

How much: Student $15 + fees

Where: Hawkins Theatre, Papakura When: Wed 4 March – Mon 23 March What: Laura and Ryan are perfect for each other: they both love Meryl Streep, have been totally destroyed by previous relationships, and they have no idea what they are supposed to do tonight.

They also both know that they’ll have to pretend to be completely different to how they’ve ever been previously, in the hope of getting it right this time.

How much: Students $12 at the door 5

NEWS

For Stratton, AUT was the obvious choice when it came to accessibility, but she says it’s the university’s culture that was also really important to her.

“Beyond tangible accessibility, beyond ramps and all that kind of stuff, the staff and their attitude and the tone that AUT has as a university is really naturally compassionate.”

Stratton says, however, that there is always room for improvement.

“You can be the best of the best but you're always going to have a way to go.

“All is for All, my business, is doing a bit of work with AUT and we're hoping to help them to engage even more with the accessibility discussion, especially as it pertains to young people, so that's really exciting for us.”

Stratton says the nature of accessibility is such that needs are always changing and that universities will always have new young people coming through the doors with different requirements.

Fashion without barriers

By Ben Webber

A company with a focus on disability will soon begin work to help AUT further engage in accessibility discussion.

The website allows people who are blind, neuro diverse and/or use wheelchairs to shop with ease.

Grace Stratton is an AUT student and the co-founder of All is for All, an e-commerce platform that has redefined the shopping experience for people with disabilities.

The website uses assistive technology including a specialised search engine, detailed alt-text and imagery that incorporates disabled models.

Whilst Stratton’s business is an accessibility success story, she says she “didn’t have many options” when picking a New Zealand university to suit her requirements as a person with a disability.

Stratton told Debate the platform defines the locations of zips and buttons and can also describe colour.

“I couldn’t really go to Auckland Uni because it’s so old and the campus is so big … and I couldn’t really go to Wellington because it’s on a hill and I’m not going to Otago because that’s too far away from home.”

“AUT is very responsive, but it can sometimes be hard to do that all the time, so hopefully by working with AUT in the future, we make it a little easier for them to engage with the accessibility discussion, especially as it changes over time.”

Stratton says in general it’s important to remember that people with disabilities aren’t one homogenous group and that each person’s level of functionality or impairment is different and requires a different response.

“We carry preconceived notions about a lot of different people and I think it's being self-aware and thinking about how we can have better conversations or rethink what we've been taught because a lot of this stuff that we think that we know isn't actually representative.”

Find out more: Allisforall.com

NEWS

AUT DOWN AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY TO WIN O-WEEK SHIELD

By Nathan Limm AUT has crushed Auckland University in five of six matches to win the O-Week shield for the first time since 2016.

Both of AUT’s volleyball sides claimed 2-0 victories, alongside both basketball teams who also secured comprehensive wins. While the men’s futsal side won 3-2, the women’s squad suffered a narrow loss, 2-3.

AUT Sport’s Megan Aikenhead, says AUT’s success at the event was a fantastic start to the sporting calendar.

“Leading into the tournament we were quietly confident of AUT’s ability to win at least four of the games and reclaim the O-Week Sports Challenge shield.

“[To win] five of the six games contested was a great result for AUT.”

the reputation of AUT’s Elite Athlete Support Programme.

An influx of new sporting talent was a welcome addition to AUT’s pool.

Sides for the O-Week challenge are traditionally built upon players from the previous squads. However, Aikenhead says the influx of fresh sportspeople helped to strengthen the quality of AUT’s sides.

“Decent numbers from 2019 teams [are] returning to study and wanting to continue playing for AUT at the event.”

Also contributing to the O-Week success was the AUT Sport team, who are made up of staff and volunteers. Aikenhead says they have worked hard over the past two years to develop positive relationships with AUT coaches and athletes to help with retaining players.

“Going forward we will ensure we have a solid plan in place to provide the best support and resources to these teams in the build up towards the National Tertiary Tournaments,” says Aikenhead.

“We have some great sportspeople currently studying at AUT due to

AUT will look to carry this momentum into the various national tertiary competitions taking place throughout 2020.

AUT will also compete nationally in rowing, 3x3 basketball, hockey, badminton, table tennis, and ultimate frisbee.

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Fast Fashion Faux Pas

By Hazel Buckingham | Photography by Frank Flores

If I asked you to pick out five random items from your wardrobe, off your floor, or from the back seat of your car, would you be able to tell me much about them?

Could you tell me what they’re made of? Or where that particular material comes from, or who might have made them? What sacrifices have been made by other people and by our beautiful planet for the garments that you own?

No judgement here, because up until recently I couldn’t tell you much about my clothes either. Clothing labels looked like secret codes with all their symbols. I’d heard about ‘fast fashion’ but part of me honestly thought ‘it can’t be THAT bad, can it?’ As a poor student, I shopped mostly at op-shops and donated my clothes back when I was done with them. I only went to ‘fast fashion’ stores occasionally. I was doing okay, surely?

Well, as the glorious Emma Watson said: “As consumers, we have the power to change the world by just being careful in what we buy.” Every dollar you spend is a vote in the worldwide election of globalisation. This ‘fast fashion’ phenomenon seems to be winning and violating human rights across the globe. It’s also destroying our environment.

But what exactly is ‘fast fashion’? It is a process that has democratised luxury fashion trends for everyday shoppers.

Corporations take looks from the catwalk and celebrity culture and have them in stores by the week’s end. It’s the reason the fashion industry has gone from working around four seasons a year, to 52. It’s why you can now buy tops for $3 and a pair of jeans for $20. According to The New York Times it’s a $2.4 trillion a year industry that continues to grow. But there’s another cost that’s not shown on the price tag.

The Global Slavery Index’s 2018 Report shows that the fashion industry is one of the biggest supporters of modern slavery in the world, second only to technology.

For the majority of workers, who are located in places like Bangladesh, South East Asia and China, wages are so low that people stay trapped in the cycle of poverty and work in factories with toxic chemicals and unsafe conditions (Rana Plaza anyone?). The surrounding environments of these factories are polluted, often to a toxic extent and communities face mountains of health issues. These environmental issues are undeniable, but unfortunately there’s no solid data to prove them. Although the fashion industry generates over $600 billion in revenue (equal to the combined revenues of the top three global car manufacturers,) there has been no official research done on the scale of its emissions.

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No judgement here, because up until recently I couldn’t tell you much about my clothes either.

Recent studies in the Journal of Consumer Research show that we seem to conveniently ‘forget’ negative ethical information when it’s presented. I wonder if our brains have become so conditioned by consumer culture that our automatic coping mechanism is to forget any ethical violation we hear about. How much further will this conditioning go?

Convention for Climate Change states that 85% of textiles end up in landfills or are incinerated. What’s almost worse is that most of the time, this is back in the developing nations where the clothes were made. If they don’t make it to landfill, they destroy local economies. This is due to local businesses being unable to compete with the cheap prices of our discarded ‘donations’.

Keep clothes out of landfills There are so many ways to do this! Have a clothes swap, tailor them into something else, repair them, rent them, resell them, reuse them or give them away as hand-me-downs. If you want to donate them, think about where they will be most impactful.

Educate yourself and demand companies do the same Find out what all those symbols on the labels mean. Learn about what cotton farmers go through, what chemicals you’re pumping out into the ocean with every washing load and why there have been more than 60,000 suicides of Indian farmers in the last three decades. If you want a place to start:

Here’s what you can do about fast fashion today:

Buy less and choose carefully The fast fashion model is seeping into our op-shops, meaning that we’re expecting them to have fresh stock on a weekly basis.

So, what happens to the stock they don’t sell? The UN Framework

• • • • •

Watch the documentary The True Cost Read the book Fashionopolis by Dana Thomas Follow @themustardjumper on Instagram Ask #whomademyclothes – but find out the story behind that hashtag too Remember - Every dollar you spend is a vote

Rapua te mea ngaro A piece by Ruamano Te Koi dedicated to young urbanised Maaori moving away from home and committing to university life in the city

Rapua te mea ngaro Seek that which has been lost Noho-a-kiko, noho manene ana ki toona anoo whenua I am like a visitor, a tourist to my own country Teeraa Te Auahi-Nui-o-Taamaki, There she blows up, the big smoke E piirori ana I te uma o Ranginui The rolling thick smoke overcasting the chest of Ranginui

A piece by Ruamano Te Koi dedicated to young urbanised Maaori moving away f committing to university life in the city

Kei whea ngaa mata o ngaa ariki?

Where are my ancestors in the sky?

Teeraa aku hoa e rawakore ana I ngaa piriti Look at my people out on the streets E patipati noa nei, e unene a waha iho Begging for a bite or a cent Kei whea te oranga moo taku iwi Maaori?

Where is the well-being for my people?

Teeraa ia taku waha e memeha nei My mouth is dry

Kiihaia te rongo I taku mauri, kiihaia a rokiroki haumaru The spirit of my ancestors faded, I’m losing my sense of belonging Kei whea taku reo Maaori?

Where is my language?

Te kupu a taa Matutaera Matutaera once said He mea korikori e te iwi, kia ngaaueue ki ngaa whakawai a tauiwi Something that shook the nation, and awoken the rise of our ancestors within us Rapua te mea ngaro Seek that which has been lost

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Self-Portraits on Sticks

By Seth Nicholls | Illustration by Yi Jong

I had a difficult time with art galleries growing up. Staring at the paintings, arranged like flowers in a vase would leave me feeling lacking when compared to my peers. My family would wander about looking like they understood everything they saw, a talent I sorely lacked. They would move around the room as if they were following the red threads of a mystery to that perfect conclusion that wrapped everything up. On the other hand, I would continuously fail to see whatever truths might be buried underneath the brushstrokes. I would listen to conversations and debates about art. Expressionism and Baroque and blah blah blah blah BLAH. Most of all, I would often feel that what I saw was too simple to care for, pretty things painted and posted and not worth any more than a cursory glance. Attempts to engage with the theme of such art would leave me stuck at that. “Yes, that’s love, I’ve seen it before”. “Yes, this means pride, I’ve seen that before too”. “Of course this is about war, isn’t everything these days?”

but I was never bothered enough to leave the house. They made for captivating debate, but I definitely didn’t engage. People find a lot of meaning in them, yeah, but I couldn’t see that at all. The poster campaigns denouncing racism or the animal abuse activists or even the marches that would block the streets would make me think, “Well, no shit! It’s kind of obvious you shouldn’t be racist or abuse animals” and “Why do you even need to demonstrate anymore?” This was ridiculously misguided.

Entering university, I had a similar disposition towards the forms of protest I would see around campus.

Sure, they were certainly interesting,

Through friends I learned of the Stand with Hong Kong protest, which took place last year. Placards were to be held and videos were to be played and

Last year, I heard about the Hong Kong protests. I had followed the news stories and had seen the crowds of protesters, a damn near army of them, all marching together for their freedom and safety. I was blown away by the scale of it, the commanding passion of people fighting for justice in a way I hadn’t seen outside of documentaries and snoozy history lessons. In these protestors, I saw such a passion to fight that I decided to participate in whatever small way I could.

people would gather with candles in solidarity with the Hong Kong protests.

I was already gaining more respect for my fellow protesters. As we gathered around to spread the word about Hong Kong, a couple walked by us.

One of them said, “I wonder what this is? Oh yeah, this shit again?” Hearing that filled me with bitterness. “This shit again?” “This shit again?!” How disrespectful can you be? It was at that moment I realised the fault of my former world view.

The realities of war, pride, love, or any other theme, should always be expressed over and over. It is essential that these messages are continued to be shown so as to cement them. Even if you “know this shit already,” even if you’ve “seen this shit before,” we have to continue to support important messages for social change, because there are still people unconvinced.

There are still people like I once was, who stop themselves from getting in deep and understanding the nuances of the situation and the best we can do to help them is to continue to share these messages. We must show them what is important to us, even if we fill the streets carrying self-portraits on sticks.

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COMING UNSTUCK A student’s tale of the pain behind the very necessary decision to create some distance from a controlling parent. By Jay Sulak

Note: themes of suicide, abuse, toxicity, depression, anxiety It took me a week after my attempt to tell my mother that I had tried to commit suicide. She slapped me, sharp and dry. She asked what she’d ever done to me and why would I ever want to end it all. I didn’t tell her why I attempted to end my life. I couldn’t honestly answer her. It has taken me months to admit to myself that she was part of the reason.

I was constantly on edge, waiting for a panic attack. Most of the time, we were quiet in the comfort of our family house.

Every night, we ate dinner together and spent evenings watching movies. When my depression was really bad, I would tell her that I was feeling drained and empty. She would stroke my hair and call me pretty. But then a storm would come. My mother has called me all kinds of things including lazy, useless, selfish and a slut. She has tried before to get into my laptop to read what I may have said

about her to my friends. She has threatened to commit suicide “because you did that so easily.” She says I use depression as an excuse. Half the time, I don't know if she means it or if it’s just a spur of the moment thing to say.

More often than not I have stayed quiet in order to avoid provoking her further.

My mother has slapped me twice while I have been an adult. It was like a needle poked the blood clot in Mum’s throbbing anger and it exploded, raging and messy. Voices would get louder and louder until my ears were ringing curses in the silence. Before the anti-smacking law, slaps and shoves were a way to reset my brain and shock me into listening. Bookshelves would topple, screaming would pierce my ears and plates would break. I would say sorry and eventually, she calmed and would sometimes apologise.

But a part of me felt betrayed and sick.

If you can’t decide whether I need pity or whether I deserved it, then you understand my own conflict. Hell, I could barely stand myself. I have lived with my mother my whole life. I am her puppy. She gave me everything I have, down to my underwear. She justifies things by saying, "I paid for fucking everything, I’ll give you a bill since I’m your fucking maid.”

And, “pay me for everything you've ever owned and then you can do whatever you want." I would spend many nights wondering if this shoving and shouting ever happened at my best friend's house, my cousins' or my nephews'. Sometimes, I wished I were a dog and was unable to understand her words. But I recognised the patterns in her behavior.

I was emotionally committed to being in a toxic environment. I was never in denial of my conditions, but I had disregarded the idea of leaving. I was riddled with questions: What if I break her? What if she takes it out on my sister? I rarely slept before 2am, because I was afraid of the next day.

When I did sleep, I would stay in bed as long as possible, comfortable in my personal space.

The last few years have been

particularly strenuous. I have spent this time at university, being educated about my place in society. University is a safe space to grow and learn. On the other hand, living with my workaholic mother and distant sister felt like a rigid schedule. My mother worked tenhour shifts, came home for dinner and didn’t talk unless she was in the mood.

"Sometimes, talking is tear jerkingly amazing.

Sometimes, talking is emotionally draining and unproductive" I could not rely on her to meet my expectations. To overcome my fears, I needed to set personal boundaries. I have had to test and retest different rules, so we can feel more comfortable around each other. Sometimes, talking is tearjerkingly amazing. Sometimes, talking is emotionally draining and

unproductive. I am regularly in the situation of my words backfiring and being shot back at me. My counsellor has taught me skills to cope away from the reliance of other people.

I have had to set boundaries to keep in my mind: say no, keep to commitments, limit my time at home, breathe and walk away. I feel the safest venting to my best friend and counsellor, who both allow me to share my thoughts. Conversations with these people are mentally healing and I’ve realised how important it is to find a healthy way to move forward.

Losing parents is the hardest thing. Whether they are saints or assholes, they’re undeniably the ones responsible for your existence. All relationships can turn ugly and people can become incompatible. For anyone who has struggled with emotionally toxic people, you will know that a certain level of guilt strings us to this space. You will know when it is the right time.

If you are feeling mentally unwell or in an abusive situation, talk to a doctor or another authority figure. Getting a second opinion helps with clarifying any concerns and having a clear sense of perspective is really important.

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How to Find Yourself A sock, a puppy, virginity ... anything can be lost but they won’t always be waiting to be collected at reception. University is the best time in life to find yourself. Are you into sports? Join a team. Love to write? Then write (for Debate). Love drinking your life away? Try living at the AUT halls. Sophia Romanos has a few easy and thoroughly under-researched ways of finding out who you are

Go to Auckland Zoo

Forget the Deodorant

The AT Hop App

Watch Tipping Point

What is your spirit animal?

You may think you’re the ferocious lion when you’re actually the humble otter. Take a stroll around Auckland’s most popular destination for caged animals to understand and tame your animal within.

Losing basic personal hygiene makes you realise how puttogether you are on a normal day. Talk about a confidence boost!

Nothing says finding yourself like typing your name into the AT Journey Planner and pressing ‘Go’.

There’s something about watching game shows at 12pm on a weekday that makes you realise there’s 156 places you’d rather be.

Eat Tuna In a Lecture

Breathe

Shave

Write an Acrostic Poem

Discovering who your real friends are is all part of raw, internal discovery.

Clear your head, man. A simple few breaths and meditation can clear your head of all the nonsense and help you focus on yourself and who you really are. If you’re still doing “funnels on entry” or saying, “for the boyyyys,” I recommend you get onto this soon.

Who are you under there? Have you lost your true identity in a mane of hair? Try a refreshing new look with the quality Bic Razor for $2.99

Nothing reveals more about a single human being than the ingenious adjectives that spring to mind when you break down your birth-given name into a mere assortment of the alphabet. For extra confidence, pin it up on the fridge for the whole flat to see. Maybe you’ll only get a little bit roasted.

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AUTSA BLOCK PARTY

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giveaw fix & fogg

FOOD FOR FLATTERS

Taste the difference with Fix & Fogg peanut butter, made locally in Wellington, NZ. Debate

If you’ve just moved into your new flat and the

has one peanut butter selection box to give

budget is tight then this might be just what you

away! This box contains flavours such as fruit

need. The Food for Flatters cookbook will help you

toast, dark chocolate, and coffee and maple.

decide what basic utensils to buy, what to keep

For that special someone (perhaps even you)

in the pantry and how to cook! Debate has two

who needs a selection of peanut butter.

copies to give away.

ways ART ESPRESSO ROAST According to Allpress, the idea of a pick-me-up goes way beyond caffeine. They believe that coffee has the ability to make people slow down and look around in an increasingly busy world. Debate has two bags of Allpress’ ART Espresso Roast plunger to give away!

Student life can be tough, which is why we search the city for the snazziest stuff to give away. Like the look of something? Head to our Facebook page (/autsadebate) and fill out the survey pinned to the top of our timeline titled ‘Giveaways - Issue 3’

choccies MOVIE NIGHT Take some time out from procrastinating and enjoy a night at the movies with a couple of Event Cinema vouchers. Debate has two double passes to give away!

Sarsaparilla, the thirst quenching, slightly spicy tonic, not so common these days… until now!

Hogarth Chocolate Makers have re-created a classic Sarsaparilla flavour by combining three spices: sarsaparilla, licorice and ginger with cacao and orange.

Debate has a couple of blocks to give away.

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Science Behind the Song

By Rebecca Zhong All I Want by Joni Mitchell is the one that does it for me. I first heard it playing when I walked into the music room in intermediate school and was immediately taken back by how rich and painfully detailed each moment was. All I Want is the first track on her 1971 album Blue. And like many other songs, it treads the well-worn territory of what is often described as a ‘personal’ record. While the emotions and sentiments explored seem to be a universal experience, they are also imprisoned by surroundings known only to Mitchell.

As a 13-year-old, I wanted to fill the ambiguity left by Mitchell herself and make the surplus of expression my very own. When I listen to that record now, I remember lying on the speckled carpet at my best friend’s house, playing balderdash and deciding what love felt like for the first time. I remember the tungsten lights that framed my high school bedroom and the smell of lemongrass candles burning as I rushed to finish last minute internals. I remember parking outside McDonald’s and talking to my friends for hours as my fries slowly grew cold.

However, whenever I try to recall any of these memories under the absence of the song, I find it almost impossible to decipher the immediate memory itself, or the weight of the emotions that came with it. I don’t think I am entirely alone with this thought. The interconnectedness of music and memories is a universal experience. Without getting too technical, the part of the brain that is associated with memory is reliant on two areas, the hippocampus and the frontal cortex.

As you can imagine, these two areas are responsible for absorbing a large quantity of information every minute. However, the process of retrieving this information is not so simple. Music helps to evoke vivid memories because it provides both a rhythm and rhyme, which assist in unlocking parts of our stored information with cues. It is undeniable that music makes us incredibly nostalgic.

Listening to these tunes brings upon an element of continuity in our own lives.

The way in which music helps to evoke the visual cortex of the brain means we often immediately start associating the music we’re listening to with images from different periods of our lives. Every few years or so we may revisit our favourite intermediate bands or listen to our parents’ playlists that we heard on repeat during family road trips. Listening to these tunes brings upon an element of continuity in our own lives. It makes us recognise that whilst we may have changed significantly over the course of these years, commonalities still exist in who we were and who we are.

The net effect of nostalgia is that it provides us with an element of meaning to our lives. Revisiting past memories can be painful at times, as we often begin yearning for moments that were simpler and sweeter in nature. However, as we think back to these times, despite being laced in the bittersweet, we are often able to reflect on close relationships or places that are important to us. As a result, we often come out feeling supported. As we think back to the past, we are able to counteract the loneliness, confusion and lack of direction we may feel in the present. When we look fondly back on our past we naturally become more optimistic towards how events may unfold in the future.

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Fading Memories

By David Evans Bailey

My mother had dementia. That’s a hard thing to face for most people. The toughest part of it was the gradual loss of memory that she endured. If you think about it, memories are, for the most part, all we’ve really got. Once we’ve achieved something, got somewhere, grown-up and gone our separate ways, everything we do is held together by the glue of mutual recollection. These come in so many forms, like photographs, letters, mementoes and more. They’re little triggers that remind us of events, happenings and relationships and they allow our minds to explore the infinite universe of a life lived. We are connected by our shared experiences, emotional bonds and our ties, but the mutual recall of our former life is what ultimately binds us.

What happens when the glue unsticks, the ties begin to unravel and we cease to remember? My mother reached a stage where she only vaguely recognised us, her children. She wasn’t able to recall us once we were no longer in front of her.

Conversations became one-sided and consisted of trying to think of things to say or repeating the same thing over and over again, because she had already forgotten what we’d said. But this was a long way down the track.

Memory loss came for her gradually and over a long period of time. It crept up on her like a thief and stole said memories from her mind. It began with not being able to remember where things were, or who had said what. Since this is a normal part of ageing for most people, we paid it no attention. But there’s another side which comes out: aggression and anger.

The losing of control over emotions which, under normal circumstances, would have been held in. I know how much my mother hated the fact that she was losing her faculties. She would cry for hours over simple things like not being able to find her glasses. Her memory would be a complete blank, an impenetrable fog.

I know a little of how this feels when I can’t remember something myself. It’s unbelievably frustrating. Multiply this a thousand-fold and that is what dementia is like.

After the loss of memory comes the replacement of memory, with mixed up hodgepodges of events. My mother would begin to insist on her version of events and there was no opposing her. Any naysaying would be met with violent emotional consequences. If you can imagine being accused by your own mother of kidnapping her, trying to murder her, stealing her money and all manner

of nefarious deeds, then you might begin to see how this might make you feel. At first, it’s like a stab in the heart, a rejection of this unreality being thrust upon you.

The person you loved for all those years becomes a stranger. The memories you shared become only yours, rejected by the other party and finally appear to become erased altogether. You learn to just agree with everything that is said to you, no matter how outrageous it is.

My effort to maintain that status quo lead me to search for other ways of dealing with the situation. I felt that whilst I still had the emotional attachment to her and my own memories to fall back on, it was hard to accept the ‘stranger’ in front of me was actually my mother. The only thing I felt that we shared, is that to her, I was a stranger too. Deep down, I knew that some part of her was still there and still loved me. That is what I held on to.

My mother though, would sometimes still surprise me by recalling things from long ago, which I had forgotten. And when she passed, I had my son put together a commemorative video of photos, which in themselves would trigger memories for all of us, finally completing the circle of remembrance for us all.

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Second-hand Wonders

By James Tapp Tatty's, Paper Bag Princess, Vixen and Savemart. Some of just a few op shops you'll find on K Road or near uni and somewhere where you can go to become a true edgy, indie teen. But second-hand shopping isn't just for those who want ripped up clothes – it’s so much more than that. Ask anyone who op shops on a semi regular basis and you'll hear stories about the wildest pieces of clothing or vintage numbers you’d never be able to find anywhere else. While looking good is important, op shopping allows you to have a far greater impact than just outshining the people around you. Buying pre worn clothes provides a great alternative to fast fashion and also mounts pressure on the big brands to think more about quality and longevity.

On average, people get rid of around 19 items each time they do a spring clean. So, if you do a spring clean every two years, between the ages of 18 and 80 you could end up throwing a lot away. In fact, by the time you’re on death’s door, you’ll have gotten rid of close to 590 items of clothing. Maybe your favourite blouse doesn’t fit, or it’s got a stain, but that doesn't mean it won’t fit someone else or that someone else might be able to get that stain out. PLUS, you’re literally throwing money away. There are a number of stores where you can give them your clothes, generally those in good condition, and receive 50% commission if they sell. So, if those items sold for an average of $40 and you get $20 of that, you’ll have saved $1000, which can be put back into purchasing more amazing clothes.

Let’s talk about stereotypes. You may be thinking: ‘Op shops are just for hipsters and those who truly care about the environment’. And you’re right. But stereotypes are also bullshit. Anyone can go and find their dream dress or jacket, because it’s not just hipsters that’re donating

clothes, everyone is. Aimee Egdell is the owner and director of Tatty’s and says her goal was never to focus on a particular stereotypical customer. In fact, she calls her Ponsonby and High Street locations “baby department stores."

"Anyone can go and find their dream dress or jacket, because it’s not just hipsters that are donating clothes, everyone is" “You can have three or four generations come through and they’re all able to find something they like,” she says.

To hear this straight from the horse's mouth is extremely encouraging. It’s cool to think that second-hand clothing can go towards those who couldn’t have afforded to buy them new. It’s a whole new way of thinking, for those who are environmentally savvy, want to stand out from the crowd, or just want to find high quality clothing at a cheaper price.

Having talked to Aimee, something I realised was that the power actually lies with those who give. Hearing about being given Andy Warhol, Paco Rabanne and Issey Miyake pieces to sell, it takes those with amazing clothes to trust people like Aimee to do their job. So consider this a call out to that pair of jeans that doesn’t fit anymore or that jacket which cramps your aesthetic. You never know what you may be able to swap them out for.

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“It’s scary, but you’re gonna love it!”

By Siddhi Sharma Have you ever had to travel miles across the world just to pursue your dream? No one spoke a word to me about ‘realities’ before I moved out, but now that I’m in university, ‘scary’ is the only word I can use.

I kept telling myself, “This is going to be easy” and, “You’ll manage,” but boy was I wrong! Coming from a traditional town in India, I was raised in a patriarchal and

conservative society. People there thrive on collectivism rather than independence.

Since I was schooled in a Western curriculum, I wanted to learn to be self-

(and because NZ is beautiful!). I think however, that my overzealous attitude clouded reality for me and I failed to accept that I didn’t know the first thing

sufficient, away from societal pressures.

about becoming independent. In the first couple of months of university, I realised I was a clueless duckling and very spoilt!

A part of me screamed, wanting to go back home. Another part of me wanted to see if I could get past the gut-wrenching homesickness.

I was so eager to get out of India that I even had a list of things I wanted to do and accomplish in New Zealand. I chose AUT because I knew I would be at the heart of the best opportunities

It wasn’t long before I had to ‘pull the plug’ on my belief that everything would be at my disposal. I also learned that in order to get the wheels of success in motion, I’d need to step outside my comfort zone too. Life needed to become about using my voice and my body to protect and motivate myself. I had always dreaded needing to speak up for myself, but that was fear I was going to have to move past. I don’t mean to make the act of moving across the world to study sound daunting, but for me, the number of struggles I faced continued to increase.

With every month, I encountered new challenges, particularly around my budget management skills.

When I lived at home with my family, I’d never given spending a second thought and I paid no heed to the value of money. But just halfway into my first year of university, I had already become someone who was thinking about saving even before stepping out of the house. Once I was well aware of my financial situation, I realised it was time for me to look for ways to earn some money. I knew I didn’t want to depend on the money being sent from home.

Looking back, I don’t feel like I have lost a part of myself or that I had to leave alot behind before coming to study in NZ. The journey has made me stronger and I now have a solid voice.

With that voice, I’ve learned to stay

vigilant and self-sufficient. Laundry, groceries, cooking, making friends, wanting to travel, volunteering and sending out a bunches of resumés – it is indeed a lot for one person. But taking things one day at a time will get me there.

I believe that making a major transition in life is not specifically about what gets lost and left behind, but that it’s about making use of our knowledge and abilities in a new environment. I am constantly learning something new every day and I think that in itself is amazing. I couldn’t be more thankful to my family, friends and people of my university who are so supportive. It’s a bumpy ride, but a wonderful one.

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Get Lost And Let Your Dreams Grow

By Abigail Johnson When I was a kid, maybe eight or nine, I wrote my mum a book.

I taped some paper together, filled them with a story and on the final page I wrote an ‘About the Author’ section: “Abigail is a student, she loves to dance and sing … she wants to be a film star, model, singer, dancer and writer.

Will she cope?”

When I started uni a decade later, I’d narrowed it down. I’d be a writer. I would graduate by age 20, pump out my first novel by 22 (or 23 at the latest,) after which I’d pick up a series deal.

Suffice to say, none of that happened. Something better did – I learned to let the fuck go.

If there’s one thing uni will teach you, it’s how to be looser with your plans. How to be flexible and how to embrace lostness. A group project will certainly teach you to loosen the fuck up. If you don’t, you’ll crack.

The thing about loosening your plans is that it doesn’t mean giving up on your goals. It actually means you’re expanding them. Get lost in the slog of university. Take random,

interesting electives. But do the work. Volunteer for scary clubs.

Go to raves. Become a TikTok legend. But do the work.

This type of lostness is synonymous with wonderment: Wanderlust. The other type of lostness is synonymous with ‘laziness’: Depression. And that happens too. Trust me, I’m acquainted.

The first type of lostness, the happy type, prepares you for the other. When you find yourself at the cold, concrete floor of a depressive spiral, give yourself space. Give yourself rest and give yourself looseness. Embrace the lost as a way back to your found.

You might find that your found looks different. And you might find that that’s fantastic.

When I was doing my bachelor’s, I changed my minor three times.

During those lost times, I didn’t feel like a wonderer nor did I feel like a wanderluster, I felt like a loser. I felt like I’d lost everything.

And the only thing that helped was reaching.

Reaching out to speak to my lecturer. Reaching out to speak to my paper administrator-person-

thing. Reaching into the fridge for a third Red Bull. I always found that when I pulled through those lost times that my goals looked bigger, not smaller. I discovered that, after coming out the other side of those university struggles, I’d found out that little bit more about myself.

It’s more than okay to not know what you want to do with your life, especially if you’ve just started uni. In fact, I encourage it. Your life is a hell of a lot more than a checklist and it’s doubtful you’ll regret not being married by 22 when you’re on your deathbed.

You’re far more likely to regret the risks you didn’t take. The bicuriosity you didn’t explore. Or whatever.

So let go of the rigidity. Loosen your grip on the timeframes.

Knuckle down and do the work, but do it with a keen sense of wonder, a loose sense of the end-goals and with a flexible approach. And when you fuck up, which you will, let it fucking go!

Your life is your life and as far as we know, you only get to do it once. Ironically, the tighter a grip you keep, the more you lose out.

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Surf & Turf Boil Up 600g beef brisket 2 litres of water

In appreciation of Māori cuisine, here is a delicious boil up recipe, Surf & Turf style. Perfect for a rainy day, this recipe works with almost any vegetables and meat you have in your fridge. Here is the recipe for what I used:

1 carrot, peeled and cut in chunks Handful of coriander (stem for stock, leaves for garnish) 1 large tomato, quartered 1 purple kūmara, peeled and cut in chunks 1 gold kūmara, peeled and cut in chunks 1 orange kūmara, peeled and cut in chunks 1 bag of spinach

1) In a stock pot, sear beef brisket over medium-high heat for about 2 minutes on each side or until browned.

Season with salt and pepper.

2) Add 2 litres of water, bring to a boil, and lower heat to medium-low and simmer.

3) Add carrot, coriander stem, tomato, and all the kūmara. Simmer for 1 hour.

4) After 1 hour, add prawn, and simmer for another 15 minutes over low heat.

5) Add spinach just before removing from heat.

300g large prawns

6) Season with salt and pepper again to taste.

Salt & pepper to taste

7) Garnish with coriander leaves and serve.

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PUZZLES

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Bygone Former Whereabouts Bearings Discovery

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Construct Establish Float Launch Create

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