Rabbi Zvi Teichman

Torah Thought Crying with Joy

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

We all aspire to attain it. We exert much energy and time in pursuit of it. Most of us never achieve it. It’s happiness.

What defines happiness? Is it wealth, fame, family, health or success? There are many healthy and famously rich entrepreneurs with families, who aren’t very happy.

Perhaps we can determine what this elusive goal is by examining its antonym.

Is sadness the opposite of happiness? There are many people who aren’t sad, yet wouldn’t claim to be happy. Is worry the polar end of joy? Go ask the many resigned homeless, who wander about without any apparent worry in the world, if they are truly happy.

At a wedding we bless the bride and groom to be as joyous as Adam and Chava were in the Garden of Eden. Seemingly the joy of a wedding approximates the epitome of happiness - life in paradise. What is there specifically that brings them such extreme delight?

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A dear friend of mine whose celebrated a wedding for a child who divorced shortly afterwards, pondered about all the lost joy the family experienced at the wedding, that now came to be unrealized. Upon further contemplation he made a remarkable observation. Although the hopedfor happy future for their child was suddenly quashed, nevertheless the closeness the family sensed at that time, having put aside for that night all the normal and natural contentions that develop within the family unit, choosing to focus that evening on the instinctive and deeply honest connection and love they felt for one another, will never fade.

The Targum translates החמש, simcha/joy, as ידח, literally translating into ‘oneness’ from דח meaning one.

Man craves connection. When we feel connected we sense bliss. The antonym to happiness is loneliness. When one feels isolated and disconnected from those around him, unhappiness sets in.

The elation we often experience at a wedding is not due solely to the joy in seeing two people hopefully meet their destiny together, but more so to the exquisite bond we sense expanding outward from the nucleus of the family that encompasses the wider circle of dear friends that are so integral to their lives, and beyond.

The first human report regarding the unfurling of the terrible events surrounding the worship of the Golden Calf is given by Yehoshua to Moshe. The first thing he observes is how he hears the sound of the people הֹעֵרְבּ, literally ‘rejoicing’ loudly. The word הֹעֵרְבּ rooted in the notion of תוער, joyful camaraderie of spirit. )י"שר( similar to the word העורת, the staccato ‘crying’ sound of the Shofar. Evidently they expressed their frustration over Moshe’s delay by crying and eventually retreated to placate their loss by worshipping the Golden Calf in his stead. Alternatively, it may reflect on the tears of the righteous among them who cried over their brethren who rejoiced in their devotion to the Golden Calf.

The Targum Yehonoson ben Uziel, enigmatically, combines both interpretations by translating it as ןיבבימ אודחב, crying with joy. How does one ‘cry’ through joy?

In man’s quest for happiness - connection, one often misplaces genuine bonding with artificial adhesives. When observing sport fans rooting excitedly for their team, there is clearly an intensified fervor knowing thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of others are joining in their hoped for win. But the thrill is fleeting and only skin deep. The same is true when going to a concert and jointly rocking wildly to a common beat. But it too, is often fueled by a shallow desire to be distracted in the enjoyment of the moment, with no defined or purposeful goal that truly unites the audience.

We often pursue these types of venues, subconsciously seeking to nourish our innate quest for connection, and discover only temporal satisfaction that quickly fades, leaving us pining for something else to soothe our need to connect.

Might that be the deeper meaning in Targum Yehonoson’s reference of ‘crying with joy’? They are really crying within their souls for genuine connection but seek it in vacuous events that, to all outside observers, may seem like joy but is in truth desperate cries for meaningful belonging.

When the nation suddenly became despondent, mistakenly thinking that Moshe had abandoned them, they felt

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a profound sense of loneliness and isolation.

The Torah describes how in their anxious state they made the grievous error of ,קחצל ומקיוthey got up to revel, frantically substituting contrived connection and joy for the real thing. As so often happens when attempting to create camaraderie on a foundation of superficial relationships, it quickly devolved into promiscuous behavior and a contentiousness that resulted in the murder of the innocent and righteous Chur. )םש י"שרו ו בל תומש(

They too, wined, dined and danced, rejoicing externally in a futile attempt to quell their despondence and loneliness. Despite their greatest efforts they couldn’t conceal the fact that they were really: אודחב ןיבבימ, crying with joy - crying for connection under a facade of happiness.

The Parah Adumah is the specific antidote for the effects of this sin. In the ability to overcome death and its defilement lay the correction of this sense of misdirected pessimism that fuels our need to find happiness in the finite material world and its offerings.

As the illustrious Rav A.Y. Kook so eloquently states in his Orot: “Death is an illusion, its defilement is its deception; what people refer to as death is actually the epitome of life. Yet through the superficial vision into which man is plunged by following his inclination, he paints the epitome of life as a dark and dreary picture which he calls death.

“The holy priests must shield themselves from this falsehood, so long as this lie, rules the world. They must protect their eyes from this vision which engrains this mistake upon the soul, hence they shall not come into contact with the dead, they shall not defile themselves.”

Man attempts to fight death by maximizing his enjoyment of life, by involving himself deeper and deeper in the experiences of life. The result is that he deepens his commitment precisely in the material aspects of life, precisely in those aspects which death will attack and destroy. Man cannot elude the recognition that the beauty which he worships is destined to fade, the things he acquires are transitory, and therefore that the repression of death cannot succeed. Death cannot be fought in this manner. The solution is in maximizing the soul, “from its inner source.”

True purity is the ability to draw near to G-d and fulfill His will. Death, on the other hand, is avi avos hatum’ah, the primary source of impurity. Death is an example of a phenomenon in the world that is diametrically opposed to the genuine intention of G-d, Who desires life. A person noting the phenomenon of death could deduce the exact opposite of G-d’s true intention in the world, concluding that G-d does not wish that His creations live.

How do we purify ourselves from the impurity of death? To correct the misleading impression of death, we need to recognize the limits of the human intellect in understanding G-d’s rule in the world. By performing the ritual of Parah Adumah, a mitzvah that transcends logic, we acknowledge the limitations of our intellect, and avoid the pitfall of inferring G-d’s will from the phenomenon of death. (Sapphire from the Land of Israel, Rabbi Chanan Morrison)

Is not that the ultimate expression of His unity and our connection to it in the world? In fathoming that reality lays the secret to finding true joy.

If you would like to contact the author, you may email him at: Ravzt@ ohelmoshebaltimore.com.