PRICELESS
Massachusetts’ Premier Magazine For Families Since 1996
MAY 2020
Silver Linings Finding beauty in quarantine
Homespun Fun
DIY Yard Games
Too Much Tech? It's OK
2 MAY2020
contents
ta bl e o f
m ay 2020
vo lu me 2 5
n u mb e r 1
8
It’s OK to Stay Home and Play
9
Keeping Your Family Safe from Insect-Borne Diseases This Season on the cover:
14 in every issue
homespun fun
5 Editor’s Note 6 Good to Know 7 Herding Goofballs 10 Cyber Savvy Mom 12 Very Special People 23 Take Eight
16 Virtual Tours and Online
Silver Linings: Finding the Beauty in Quarantine
David Paine, of Brimfield, relishes a moment at home with his daughter, Julia. Photo by Family Stories by Melody Joy melodyjoystories.com
Adventures
17 5 Budget-Friendly Backyard Activities
18 Elevate Your Sidewalk Art
bites 20 Goose’s Goodies: Easy Crepes 21 Food for Thought: Raisins Have More Pesticides Than the ‘Dirty Dozen’ BAYSTATEPARENT 3
baystateparent What silver lining have you found while staying home during the pandemic?
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My husband has been in night school since just before our son was born. But with his classes cancelled, he’s home now to help with bathtime and our nightly routine. It feels like we’re more of a team, and my son is loving the extra daddy-time.
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4 MAY2020
CREATIVE editor in chief AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER 508-767-9526 acollins@gatehousemedia.com creative director SHIELA NEALON 508-793-9121 shiela.nealon@telegram.com
ADVERTISING
’’ ’’
Not being pulled in different directions has forced me to slow down, discover a new art (jewelry making), cook at home, declutter and reconnect with my son.
president PAUL M. PROVOST
sales manager JEREMY WARDWELL 508-767-9574 jwardwell@gatehousemedia.com account executive KATHY PUFFER 508-767-9544 kpuffer@gatehousemedia.com account executive REGINA STILLINGS 508-767-9546 rstillings@gatehousemedia.com
baystateparent is published 100 Front Street, 5th Floor monthly and is distributed free of Worcester, MA 01608 charge throughout Massachusetts.
ONLINE
do you have a story idea? We want to hear from you! Email your suggestion to baystateparent.com acollins@gatehousemedia.com
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Walks with my dog, Bear!
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My s g n i h T Fa vo rit e editor’s note
A hat has never been so much fun! My toddler is digging his new headwear from Hativity, a wide-brimmed sun hat with interchangeable Velcro patches. There is also a looped Velcro activity book, so when he can’t decide, he can take the patches with him anywhere.
The Museum of Art and Photography in India is bringing people across the globe together by creating the world’s largest digital flower “bouquet of hope.” Submit an image from your garden, a drawing or painting at www.bouquetofhope.in. Then, look for yours online once it’s up!
My two-year-old son has a new habit of constantly asking me what time it is. “It’s 4 o’clock,” I’ll say. “Oh,” Max will reply, matter of factly. “What’s that mean?” To a toddler time is a meaningless concept. With days punctuated only by snacks and naps, the actual hour and minute is hollow. And for the past month or so, I’ve felt the same. Mornings melt into evenings. Hours blur into days, and days run into weeks. When there’s nowhere to be but home, and nothing to do but stay put, who really needs a clock? I’ve filled some of this muddied time working from home, putting together an issue of baystateparent that feels starkly different than ones before. The Agenda, for instance, a section that just weeks ago was brimming with places to go and things to do, has morphed into Homespun Fun — ideas to keep you busy and entertained while sheltering in place. I’ve interviewed people via phone, and corresponded with my coworkers through texts and emails. All the while working also as a stay-at-home mom, occupying and caring for Max, who is blissfully unaware of why we suddenly have so many “mama days.” Other stretches of time have been consumed with worry. Will my husband, an essential worker, get sick? Will he bring illness home to me or our son? What will happen to my job? What about my coworkers? Is my mom OK? Do I need a better mask? And still other times have felt almost magical. When else would I have the chance to play catch in the yard in the middle of Wednesday morning? I’ve read books, baked bread and watched movies. My husband, who was in night school, is home for dinner and bathtime. My little family -- the dog included -- feels as closeknit as ever. There is no one way to feel about what’s going on in the world right now. Just because some times are scary and hard, doesn’t mean other times can’t feel joyful. As Melody Paine, a local photographer who’s been documenting what she calls “beauty in quarantine” told me, “seeing a silver lining doesn’t mean you’re pretending that everything is good.” But soaking in the special moments that sneak into these trying times can help us -- and our children -- remember that there’s light at the end of the quarantine. On page 14, you can read about the Silver Linings other local families have found while navigating this unprecedented moment in time. I hope that however the pandemic has affected your family, you find even just one blurry moment to see a break in the clouds.
Amanda
Over the past month, teddy bears have appeared in windows around the world. Stuffed animal scavenger hunts helped make life bearable for bored kids, my son included. We’ve loved looking for teddy bears peeking from windows on our daily walks, and have heard from readers who have spotted dozens in their communities.
I’ve made the same waffle recipe for my mom for Mother’s Day every year since I was 8 years old. They have just a hint of tartness from a surprising secret ingredient: lemon yogurt. You can find the recipe at baystateparent.com.
BAYSTATEPARENT 5
good to know
It’s almost like a great cosmic “It’ll be OK.”
On May 16, a crescent moon will sit in the sky beneath Jupiter and Venus to form a smiley face amongst the stars (if it’s clear enough to see). The scientific term for such an event is an occultation and in this case, it happens when the moon is positioned between Earth and Venus. Be sure to look to the sky for a smile.
Kids’ daily screen time skyrocketed while staying at home? Don’t worry.
Experts say a little leeway is OK when it comes to kids and screens in this unprecedented time. Social media screen time, which has been cursed in the past by experts in the field, now has become something of a Godsend for the mental health of children, especially those in the pre-teen and teenager categories. One of the ways for kids to alleviate social isolation and maintain their friendships in social relationships is through screens, such as playing with other kids through video games online, interacting with their smartphone or on social media. Just be mindful that they’re getting school work done, enough sleep, and some exercise.
While it may be intimidating to talk to young children about something as big as a global pandemic, avoiding the topic can actually make kids worry more.
During times like these, it is vital for parents to address their kids’ emotional needs and help them deal with their anxiety, confusion or fear. To help, The Yale Child Study Center and Scholastic have published a workbook, First Aid for Feelings: A Workbook to Help Kids Cope During the Coronavirus Pandemic, which is available to download for free (teacher.scholastic.com/education/coronavirusworkbook/). It provides space for children to work through changes they’re noticing in the world and to identify their feelings and coping strategies.
The Children’s Trust is offering a free online resource to help new parents learn about baby’s needs and manage parenting stress amid the coronavirus pandemic. Parents can get free, full access to videos with practical advice from experts, parents, and grandparents at www.allbabiescry.org with the access code “COVID19.” Topics include: what's normal about crying, comforting your baby, self-care tips for parents, and how to cope with colic.
6 MAY2020
Herding
Goofballs
comfortable with each other, there has been a pattern of requests and yells and other verbal incantations flying around my house these days. Here is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to quotes emanating from my house these days… “Daaadd. I’m hungry.” -Milo every four minutes. “Daaadd. I’m hungry.” -Cooper every 90 seconds. (I am still trying to figure out if the two of them remind me more of a swarm of locusts or termites chewing through everything in sight). “Awesome, this food should easily last us a 2-3 weeks.” -Me, moments after returning from grocery shopping. “Wow, I need to go out again?!!” -Me, about three days later. “I’m going to blow you up!” -Cooper, chasing me around in a video game that mixes playing soccer with cars. He may need to be weaned from this game soon. His need for blood (specifically mine) is a little too high in these close quarters. “Can we bake something tonight??” -Milo about five minutes after helping with making the batter for chocolate chip cookies. There was even a follow-up question about this as he attempted to lick a few pieces of rogue chocolate off his candy-coated face while eating said cookies. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!” -Both kids once the video chatting sessions with family and friends start. Also, the sound I am BY JOSH FARNSWORTH guessing the built-in computer ILLUSTRATION BY KIRA BEAUDOIN microphones are making from the overwhelming noise. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!” -Both from the rest of the world to Side note: Not entirely sure kids after being told for the ninth remain healthy. His anxiety who is pulling who in this time to turn their volume down level is at 0.1 about the entire situation. So, yes, one of them is a few notches and stop bringing topic. As long as we keep hanging in there. every toy they own to the video the juice boxes flowing and By a thread is also me some chat. bedtimes generous, he has no days. “Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.” concerns. It may be you. -Either myself or my wife after My youngest, Milo, is It’s probably just about the kids finally submit to their completely unaware. Anxiety everyone at this point. That level: 0.0. Take him outside and exhaustion for the day. Please virus, of which I shall not he’s curious why humanity ever note the lack of exclamation write its name, has been allpoints for a more soothing, flopwent away to work in the first consuming for months now. on-the-couch-lifeless tone. place. On the positive side, that has “We need more bricks!!” In some columns, I have meant more time around my -Cooper working on one of written to you some of my goofballs as I attempt to work his 30-day Lego challenges. suggestions on a particular remotely. It’s a silver lining, Essentially, he starts building, I topic. Instead of regaling you and I am a big believer that we try my best to keep up with him with my questionable insight have to mine as much silver as by fetching loose pieces (known into parenting, I want to share possible these days. affectionately as bricks), and with you a story: our story. My oldest, Cooper, knows try my best to please one of the Since we all got extra that we are all staying apart
Quotes the Q from the
By a thread. It’s exactly how sturdy the string— one end attached to my son’s monster truck frame, the other to a superhero—seems to be doing these days.
pickiest contractors I have ever worked with. “Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy???” -Milo every single nice day we have to eventually come inside to do things like eat or sleep. “Hi dad. You look nice today.” -Cooper cleverly angling to get some sort of food or game to play that he otherwise should not be having. Come on, buddy, I am wearing torn sweatpants and a wrinkled football jersey. I may look post-apocalyptic-posh, but let’s not mince words here. At least it works nicely as “work attire” for now. “I must say thank you for everything you have done for us so far during this crisis.” -Me, after finally breaking down and purchasing Disney Plus, especially on those rainy days that force even quarantine into a tighter space. Finally, there is one saying that has mostly been directed at me, based on a meme I read back in late March (no author, but thank you to whomever muttered this phrase). It applies to work, but you can see its utility: “You are not working from home. You are at home, during a crisis, trying to work.” You, my dear readers, are also not just living at home, but managing a full-on crisis, trying to be a parent. I hope you, and everyone you dwell with, manages to find as much patience and empathy as possible. And whatever is said, is said during a time of unique crisis. Cut yourself an extra piece of slack. And them. Yes, some days feel like we are down and out, hanging by one final thread. But your thread is still a strong thread. Be safe out there, and also… “Thank you to all those in the medical field, grocers, trash haulers, emergency personnel, police and fire, and other necessary workers for everything you are doing during this time. You are heroic and make our lives work. Thank you.” -All four of us. Josh Farnsworth is a husband, father of goofballs Cooper and Milo, goofball himself, and award-winning writer and columnist living in Worcester. He can be reached for column ideas at josh.farnsworth@ yahoo.com. BAYSTATEPARENT 7
It's okay to just stay home and play A Montessori view of kids’ unstructured time BY JANE M. JACOBS
R
emember the carefree days of childhood when you could just play until it was time for dinner? Many of us have fond memories of exploring the neighborhood with our friends or playing at home with siblings. In this era of goal-oriented and scheduled activities, we sometimes forget the value of allowing time for simple, non-parent-directed play. Parents aren’t needed all the time Creating times and places for your children to be independent from you will help you relax while they play. Just as Montessori teachers carefully prepare the classroom, as parents, you can provide a safe home environment, inside and outside, so that your child can explore and play for periods of time on his own,
8 MAY2020
without your help or direction. Keep in mind your child’s age and abilities as you create these spaces. You may: • Provide items to encourage movement as well as imagination: push toys, blocks, a dollhouse, toy vehicles, puzzles, boxes of many sizes, scarves and hats, child-safe kitchen and work tools, garden tools, and a variety of art supplies. • Display the items in an organized and attractive way within easy reach. A jumble of toys in a toy box can be frustrating. Alternate toys from time to time rather than having everything out at once. For the young child, arrange a few toys on a low shelf for easy access and return. “A place for everything” helps children learn to keep things tidy. • Show your children how to
use new toys and tools without using wordy instructions. (Older children may need even fewer directions.) Then leave them free to make original discoveries and creations. Programmed to learn Unstructured play is a time of discovery without selfconsciousness. While playing and exploring, your child is learning so much without being directly taught. Understanding how children naturally absorb knowledge, Maria Montessori respected children’s need to investigate and study without adult interruption. Intelligence and creativity develop as children explore the world, figuring out on their own how things work. Older children will be more social than younger ones, sometimes seeking playmates for a game or project. This type of play allows
children to learn self-regulation. Listen for the “rules” they create during their play—they are often similar to the ideas they have internalized from adults at home or school. Your child will flourish when there is time and space to follow an impulse and create something unique. Don’t interrupt or try to improve the project. A child will unconsciously feel judged and may stop trying for fear of doing it wrong. A young child’s castle built of blocks will never be as elaborate or realistic as yours. An older child’s fort may have a precarious foundation with less-than-square corners. Different play at different stages The young toddler may be feeding his doll or loading blocks on the dump truck. A 3-year-old may play alongside a friend, happy with the company but not interacting a lot. And, as described earlier, older children will seek out playmates. Cooperative play will happen spontaneously as children mature, so there is no need to force it. Let your child take the lead. When you do play with your children, make it fun! Sometimes conscientious parents believe that they must provide learning opportunities no matter the situation, forgetting that intelligence can develop without adult input. Let your child choose the activity and invent the parameters. Games that require following the rules are appropriate for children over the age of 4 or 5. Play in a noncompetitive way where everyone
feels like a winner. Relax and keep playing Free time gives everyone time to refuel, think, and figure things out. The truth is that your child will grow, learn, and thrive without the constant organized frenzy of always being on the go. Set aside at least one or two days a week for free time; this may mean you have to eliminate one or two scheduled lessons or practices. But think about this: If you don’t have to spend every day chauffeuring or cheering for your children at the latest event or game, there might be less stress for your whole family—and you’ll find yourself with more time to relax and play. You need not write the script for your children’s lives. They have within themselves remarkable individual talents, and they will likely surprise you as they become masters of playful learning. As Maria Montessori said (1914, p. 130), “In fact, our little ones have the impression of continually ‘making discoveries’ in the world about them; and in this they find the greatest joy.” Jane M. Jacobs, MA, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an educational consultant at Montessori Services. She has taught children ages 2–7 in Montessori schools, Head Start, and at a preschool for children with developmental challenges. She is AMS-credentialed (Early Childhood). Reprinted with permission from the American Montessori Society. ©2020. All rights reserved.
EEE? Lyme disease? How you can keep your family safe from insect-borne diseases this season BY JOAN GOODCHILD
T
he weather is warming up, and after a spring spent staying home, there’s no doubt we’re all itching to get outside. But this season brings with it a different kind of concern when it comes to health. Mosquitoes and ticks will arrive with the higher temperatures, and many insect-borne diseases can present serious risks. Fortunately, mosquitos don’t really start to show up until later spring. However, this year may be a bit different. “In typical years, mosquitoes begin to hatch in mid-May. Some species hibernate and may appear on a warm winter day, but they tend to be in very low numbers and with an associated lower risk,” said Timothy D. Deschamps, executive director of the Central Mass. Mosquito Control Project. “The current weather pattern has shown to be wetter, and we have had a warm winter, so we may see an earlier hatch than normal. Populations tend to be high with the spring species since they are a single generation species and come out in greater numbers than species that have multiple generations, they hatch in early summer.” The more pressing concern right now is ticks, said Dr. Christina R. Hermos, a practicing infectious disease doctor and assistant professor at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. If you’re heading into the woods for a stroll, or into any ungroomed outdoor area where ticks may hang out, it is time to start covering up.
“The ticks, particularly the nymphs from the black legged ticks, have already emerged with the thaw,” she said “Tick-borne diseases can be contracted at any time that temperatures allow for a thaw. Nymphs are very effective at transmitting Lyme and other diseases because they are so small, we don't notice when they are embedded. “ Ticks can spread diseases like Lyme Disease, Anaplasma and Babesia, which are all serious. But Hermos said while these conditions can be concerning, it is important not to let fear take over our desire to get outdoors. “It's important to be careful but in most cases not fearful,” she said. “Lyme
is easily treated when recognized in early stages and even in later stages. Anaplasma and Babesia can be severe in the elderly and in other immunocompromised states, but typically presents as a fever illness that can be treated with a short course of antibiotics and many cases may go undetected and resolve without treatment.” Calming the bite of EEE and West Nile Virus fears Mosquitos carry several other diseases, like Eastern Equine Encephalitis (EEE) and West Nile Virus. Last summer was a particularly difficult one in Massachusetts for the risk of EEE. Twelve people across the state were
diagnosed with the rare infection, and three people died after contracting it. Deschamps expects EEE will be a concern again this year. “We do expect and have been planning for EEE to re-emerge this year; EEE tends to show in two to three year cycles, and last year seems to be year one,” he said. At the peak of EEE monitoring last year, 35 towns were considered at “critical risk” and many others were classified as high and moderate risk. Sports practices, games and other outdoor events were changed to indoors, when possible, or canceled when necessary in August and September. Many communities had curfews to prevent outdoor activities when mosquitoes are active. Hermos said it is too early to know whether these actions will be necessary again. “It's difficult to predict at this time what the human risk of EEE will be this summer. The DPH (Department of Public Health) monitors how much EEE is detected in the bird-biting mosquitoes, which begins earlier in the summer. Higher levels of EEE among bird biting mosquitoes increase the risk of cross-over infection into mammalbiting mosquitoes. The time it takes for mammal-biters to become infected is why the risk to humans typically doesn't exist until at least August.” However, like tick-borne disease, Hermos says common sense is needed for protection against infections like EEE, but fear should not get in the way of outdoor family fun. “While the severe cases of EEE are frightening, they are extremely rare,” she said.
Tips to protect your family The following recommendations from Timothy D. Deschamps of Central Mass. Mosquito Control Project and Dr. Christina R. Hermos of the University of Massachusetts Medical School can help you and your family protect yourself from insect-borne illness this spring and summer: n Avoid outdoor activities between dusk and dawn, if
possible, since this is the time when mosquitoes are most active. n If you must be outdoors when mosquitoes are active, wear a long-sleeved shirt and long pants. n Take special care to cover up the arms and legs of children playing outdoors. When you bring a baby outdoors, cover the baby's carriage or playpen with
mosquito netting.
from gutters and around the home.
n Use a mosquito repellent that contains DEET (the chemical N-N-diethyl-metatoluamide) and follow the directions on the label (never use DEET on infants).
n Fans are effective at keeping mosquitos from small areas, so an outdoor fan will work better than citronella candles.
n Fix any holes in your screens and make sure they are tightly attached to all your doors and windows
n Perform tick checks every night. Check warm dark areas of the body, like armpits, groin and in hair.
n Clearing standing water
n Bathing (ideally within 2
hours of outdoor activity) and using a rough cloth over the entire body can help as this can remove ticks before they have had a chance to embed. n Clothes treated with permethrin can repel ticks and mosquitos. This can include shoes/hiking boots.
BAYSTATEPARENT 9
cyber savvy mom
The lessons
QUARANTINE
taught us about technology Families were ordered to stay home for more than a month, and the rules around device use went out the window BY JOAN GOODCHILD, CYBER SAVVY MOM rowing up, there were four rules at my house: You do not miss church on Sunday, you never ride in the back of an uncovered pick-up truck, you join the family at the dinner table, and you come home for curfew. Besides these three musts, it wasn’t a particularly strict upbringing. Many of my friends had early bedtimes and routines and limits to television time. But not us. As long as I was getting my homework done and my parents knew where I was, I was allowed a lot of leeway on how I spent my free time. Like many kids in the 80s, I played outside with friends, I read books, and I did a lot of late-night TV watching and Atari playing, too. As a parent, I have a pretty similar approach. When my children were young, of course, there was a lot more structure when it came to bedtime, nutrition and entertainment.
G
10 MAY2020
But now that they are teens and tweens, the main tenets here are be kind, be honest, wear a helmet, and do your best at school. There is some guidance thrown in on fruits and vegetables, but my allowance when it comes to devices is pretty lenient. As you know from reading this column, my approach is educate, and then allow kids to manage their own time with technology. But I know from conversations with friends that my way is not the choice for every family. Strict limits on screen time and early bedtimes still rule in many homes. Which is why it got me thinking about how the state-wide stay-at-home order that began in March would impact habits when it comes to technology in our lives. As the weeks in quarantine wore on, would those who allow unfettered access to devices
come to regret it? Would those with stringent routines around screen time be forced to ease up? Turns out it is all of the above. Depending on your family’s view on device use, the quarantine has, in many households, made bad habits worse, and good habits bad. On the other hand, technology has also been a godsend for many when it comes to learning and connections. I’ve been researching and talking to friends about the lessons this unusual time in history has taught us about technology and family. Here are some of the main take-aways about tech and our time in isolation. In the struggle between low-tech time and screen-time, screens win…. For some families, the desire to limit screen time is ongoing. Kids love them, but parents
desperately want their little ones to continue to spend most of their free time engaged in physical activity, reading, and in-person with friends and loved ones. Some are more successful than others in setting limits. But the stay-at-home order turned a lot of that resolve to dust. “We've always limited gaming and screen time to the weekends, with even stricter limits during the school week. Now that their iPad use has dramatically increased for at-home schooling it feels more important than ever to enforce those limits, but it's very difficult,” said my friend, Kelly Molter, a Shrewsbury mom of two kids. “With two parents trying to work from home we find ourselves giving in during the day just so we can take a conference call and get things done.” ….but we still feel guilty about technology “I never wanted to be a parent that allowed their kid to use screen time in
excessive amounts,” said Jen Faro, a North Andover mom of a toddler, Gabi. “Until this point, I feel that my husband and I have done a fair job with limiting it. Since quarantine life has started, I definitely let Gabs have way more screen time and just purchased a kid’s Kindle Fire. I’m torn between feeling guilty and relieved that it gives me a break, especially when I have to work from home.” Tech’s benefit for learning is indisputable One common theme I heard when talking about technology with parent friends is that we are very lucky to be going through this pandemic in a time when technology enables our kids some form of distance learning. “It has helped with my kids’ assignments and staying connected to their teachers and peers,” said Jenn Luke, a Shrewsbury mom of two. “It’s wonderful to know the teachers can see the progress my kids have with schoolwork and most submissions have been
easy,” added Lisa Vuona, also a Shrewsbury mom of two kids. In some cases, it is better than nothing My neighbor recently became a grandmother for the second time. But because of the pandemic, she has been unable to visit her new granddaughter. She happily Facetimed with her daughter and new granddaughter the other day, noting at least devices give her some outlet to watch her grow in these first few weeks of life. “I can’t wait to be able to cuddle her,” she said as she watched her on the screen. For many, like my neighbor, screens have had to suffice and be the next-best thing to reality in these last few weeks. “As a single parent that is considered an essential worker, my child has to stay home, day after day, alone. I can’t send her anywhere or get a sitter to keep her company as I need us to isolate. Technology allows her to connect with friends, family, do schoolwork and play games,” said Kelly Landini, of Shrewsbury, who has one daughter who is 12. Even kids have their limits As much as being at home has forced parents to lengthen the screen-time leash, many noted that even kids can only stand so much time in front of a device and have expressed that they crave low-tech time together. “When I am home and spending time with my daughter, she tells me ‘no electronics,’” added Landini. “Breaks my heart because she has been such a trooper about being home alone, but so very telling how much she needs to be connected with me when I’m home. We play games with no phones or TV.” For better and for worse, tech helps us stay connected Although technology often gets a bad rap as a reason why people are not as connected anymore, many parent friends I spoke with noted it was critical in helping them feel less isolated during this time. Even more noted they have turned to using Facebook and other social media networks to keep in touch with friends. Others expressed their gratitude for the “Zoom cocktail hour” trend that has become a popular way for friends to socialize at the end of long days in quarantine. “I can see and talk to my friends and family, which has stopped me from feeling so isolated. That being said, I can’t wait to see you all in person,” said
Jennifer Kuhnel, a mom of two in Shrewsbury. Going back will be difficult While allowing more device time has been necessary for families trying to juggle school work, parenting duties and working from home, several noted that like all shortcuts, going back to doing things “the old way” may be challenging once the pandemic ceases. Kids who expect hours of device time may be a bit shocked when that allowance is pulled away. “Right now, we are pretty lenient with the Xbox time, knowing they are interacting with all their friends that way. So, we are thankful they do have a way to keep in touch,” said my friend Anne Gray, a mom of two boys in Shrewsbury. “What I am not looking forward to is cutting back on the technology once we are not home 24-7 and can return to a somewhat normal life.” Love it or leave it? Most of us love it While sentiments vary on technology, overwhelmingly, parents voice that they are grateful we have had access to it in order to fill long days, keep some form of learning going, and help stay connected while in isolation. But once our time in quarantine has ended, and we are allowed to resume our lives again, what will be “normal” when it comes to technology habits? My personal observation is there will be some habits established and lessons learned that will go forward with us after this time. Perhaps more working from home as so many have shifted to remote work to keep business running? Or more distance learning initiatives as we see how school assignments done from home works out for students? What lessons have you learned about technology during the stay-at-home order that will stay with you after this time is over? What parts are you looking forward to ditching in place of normalcy again? Drop me a line at cybersavvymom@yahoo.com and tell me your thoughts.
Do you have a question or a story suggestion for Cyber Savvy Mom? Contact me at joangoodchild@cybersavvymedia.com. BAYSTATEPARENT 11
very
special people
’
When help is
nonessential’
6 tips to advocate for your child’s special needs even in a time of crisis BY STEPHANIE DUESING
A
ny parent of a child with disabilities that are not readily apparent knows how it feels to come up against brick walls when searching for help. Now, factor in the global crisis we all face in battling
12 MAY2020
COVID-19, a time when services considered nonessential are being curtailed. If you feel scared and forgotten, you are not alone. In January 2017, I discovered my 15-year-old son Sebastian—an honor student, painter, sculptor, potter and water polo-player—was almost completely
blind. When going through old photos, we realized he couldn’t recognize himself or anyone else in any of the pictures. Sebastian had taught himself to count his steps and turns as a toddler, and had been navigating our own home as a blind person would, all his life. He had also taught
himself early on to process his vision verbally, using words to help him “see.” Nobody knew he was blind. Not even him. An epic struggle to get a medical diagnosis ensued. We heard the same answer over and over again: “I can’t help you.” It took almost six months
to learn that Sebastian is one of tens of thousands of people in the U.S. who has cerebral/cortical visual impairment (CVI), and to get him the basic services he needs. The stakes are even higher now, up against quarantines, uncertainty, and the collective trauma caused by a global pandemic.
But parents, don’t lose heart. You can still advocate for your child even during these scary times. Here are six things you can do when it feels like medical professionals aren’t listening: Trust your gut You know your child better than anyone else in the world. If you see a symptom or behavior that worries you, listen to your instincts. Sebastian’s symptoms were very subtle when he was little, but once we figured it out, I knew without a doubt what his condition was. That certainty gave me the confidence to keep going. Listen to your child Listening doesn’t just mean hearing what they tell you with words. It means paying attention to what they may not be able to say. Crying is communication. So are fear, anxiety, anger and pain If your child is verbal, talk to them about what distresses them. If they’re too young for conversations, or nonverbal, closely examine those behavior patterns. Be Persistent Doctors are only human. They only know what they’ve been trained to know. As we are discovering with COVID-19, new infections and medical conditions are discovered regularly, and many older ailments are still poorly understood. If one medical provider fails to answer your questions or provide your child with the necessary care, find another. Document everything! I have 36 single-spaced typed pages of documentation of what we went through to get a diagnosis for my son’s vision impairment. I wrote down everything, from notes I’d taken at each medical appointment to discoveries we made about Sebastian’s visual processing along the way.Your persistence can mean the difference between getting help for your child or not.
medical and scientific information. Educators, occupational therapists, science researchers, speech pathologists, or any other related field may sometimes be a parent’s best resource. In our case, help came thanks to The Seeing Eye guide dog organization, who connected us to the best vision and brain experts in the world. Be ready for a marathon It took us 15 months to complete our medical journey. We saw approximately 20 different doctors and waded through research studies to finally receive a conclusive medical diagnosis of CVI from Dr. Barry Kran at the end of March 2018. The head of optometrics from the New England Eye Low Vision Clinic, Dr. Kran is a leader in the field and continues to be an incredible support for our family. Remember, you are your child’s best advocate. If you are having trouble finding medical or educational assistance, trust yourself, don’t give up, and be ready to go long. Parents of children who have disabilities are a brave, persistent and knowledgeable lot! Finding professionals who understand this fact and are willing to listen is half the battle. Stephanie Duesing is devoted to raising awareness of Cerebral/Cortical-Visual Impairment (CVI) and advocating for patients with this prevalent but largely unacknowledged cause of visual impairment. A music educator, Stephanie has taught elementary and middle school music and chorus, as well as private voice and piano. She also opened her own Musikgarten studio, where she taught classes for families with babies, toddlers and preschoolers.
1
d f l u b
Think beyond the medical community Different professions vary in how quickly they educate their members on new BAYSTATEPARENT 13
Silver Linings Finding beauty in quarantine
BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER
N
ot that long ago, days for Wendy Fraioli and her family rushed by in a flurry of busyness. Fraioli, a mom of two, and her husband work day jobs at University of Massachusetts Medical School and in the evenings run a small business, Villari's Martial Arts Center of Shrewsbury. Their routine was a juggling act that most working parents know well; an exhausting daily sprint of running here and rushing there. “I had to pick up this one from preschool and that one from the babysitter, then go home and change my clothes while debriefing our days, before I had to bring them back to the babysitter,” Fraioli said. “It was always a struggle for me to make the two hours between work shifts quality time with my kids.” But a few weeks ago, the busyness came to a halt with the closure of schools and non-essential businesses to slow the spread of the coronavirus. The Fraiolis shut the karate school and transitioned their day jobs to work-from-home, and suddenly, their world shrank to their Worcester home. It’s been hard, to be sure. Closing the doors to their business was devastating, and working remotely with children at home presents its own myriad of challenges. 14 MAY2020
Photographer Melody Paine captures little moments while in isolation with her husband David, and children Carter, Caleb and Julia.
FAMILY STORIES BY MELODY JOY
But slowing down has also been unexpectedly refreshing, Fraioli said. “Having both lunch and dinner with my children every day, having time to do art projects and play outside, to sit together to watch TV or read books? It's been amazing,” she said. Amid the closures and stay-at-home advisories, most families have struggled to adjust to a new reality. Parents have had to play the role of teacher, a job for which they have no training. They’ve had to adapt to a new way of working, if they’re lucky enough to be working at all. On top of that, there’s anxieties to manage, cancelations to grieve, and households to run. But like Fraioli, many families are trying to find some good in the crisis: there’s nothing to do but slow down; nowhere to be but together. The pandemic has dealt families plenty of stress, but also some blessings, too. For Kristen Costa, of Somerset, quarantine offered the chance to be present for some milestone moments. Costa, a museum curator, and her engineer husband might have missed the first time their 10-month-old son Gray said “mama” or pulled himself up to creep along the furniture had they not been working from home. “We’ve also been taking lovely walks as a family that we never did,” she said. “I mean, maybe on the
weekends, but not at 11 a.m. on Monday.” In Brimfield, photographer and mom of three Melody Paine has been documenting the special moments that have occured while she’s sheltering-in-place with her family, and sharing them on social media with the hashtag #beautyinquarantine. A sort of call to action, she’s asked others to do the same, creating a space online to focus on the everyday joyful moments taking place in the midst of social distancing and isolation. It’s not that her life has been picture perfect throughout the crisis -- in fact, just the opposite, she said. She and her husband, both small business owners, have had to put their livelihoods on hold. At times, she’s been filled with anxiety. And in between smiles, her children have had their meltdowns. She’s not being inauthentic, she’s just choosing to capture the good. “A lot of people are like, beauty? I don't see any beauty right now. How can you focus on that when we're in such a crisis place?” Paine said. “But embracing the beauty and seeing a silver lining in one moment doesn’t mean you have to do that everyday. We can freeze the things we want to remember in our mind without pretending that everything is good.” Dr. Beverly Nazarian, a pediatrician at UMass Memorial Medical Center, agrees that there’s a benefit in trying to recognize the bright side of the situation, however dim it may
be. Certainly, there is plenty that parents and children have missed out on in quarantine — socializing with friends, sports and afterschool activities, even vacations, proms and graduations. But it can help to focus on what’s in front of them. “Finding the silver lining is a really important thing,” she said. “For our kids, ask them, ‘what’s something that’s been good about all this?’” Maybe it’s being able to reconnect, or discover activities that they’d never had time to do before, like cooking together, board games, or family walks, she said. “In our house would we ever sit down and do a 1000 piece puzzle? No. But we’ve done that,” said Dr. Nazarian. Findings in psychology research show that positive emotions help us to undo the negative effects of stress. Recognizing the small moments of happiness in our days -- the proverbial silver linings -- can help us cope until the clouds break. It’s an outlook many parents, like Fraioli, are trying to be mindful of. “It's not perfect. My daughter is two and being home all the time can be tedious. When it rains too hard for us to go outside, my God, is this miserable,” she said. “But now the bad times are moments in a long day rather than my entire twohour timespan spent with my kids that day. I know it's going to be hard to go back to the busy schedule when the world turns back over again.”
In the feed #beautyinquaratine, Paine shares the simple joys of everyday life at home with her family.
FAMILY STORIES BY MELODY JOY
BAYSTATEPARENT 15
Homespun
Fun
Virtual tours and online adventures
Families may be staying home, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do some exploring. We’ve rounded up some of the coolest online resources for fun, projects, and adventures near and far. Google Museums Tours Google has partnered with over 2,500 museums worldwide to offer virtual tours. From the Anne Frank Museum in the Netherlands, to the Acropolis Museum in Greece to the Bay State’s own Museum of Fine Arts, you can explore the galleries with no need to buy tickets or find parking. Go to
https://artsandculture.google. com/partner?hl=en. WAM Art Together A new Art Together video is posted to the Worcester Art Museum Facebook page every Wednesday. Each program features story time with an illustrated children’s book, an inspiration work of art from the WAM collection, and activities for both young and older children. Discovery at Home The Discovery Museum is sharing its most popular fun and learning activities.
Go to discoveryacton.org to find nature scavenger hunts, kitchen chemistry projects, a giant bubble DIY, flashlight games and more. #FindingWaldoAtHome A Where’s Waldo-themed web portal with activity sheets, book info and videos is at https://waldo.candlewick. com/. With #FindWaldoAtHome families can follow Candlewick Press’s social media accounts to see prompts to hide Waldo in various locations at home or doing common activities, and to share their photos. Highlights@Home This free email subscription provides fun and memorable activities to enjoy while sequestered at home. Themed collections organized around family-friendly topics will be emailed twice a week – each one filled with stories, puzzles, videos, games, creative activities like crafts or recipes, physical activities and suggested acts of kindness. Sign up at highlights.com. New England Aquarium Daily presentations are posted on the aquarium’s Facebook page at 11 a.m. Dive right in the tank and watch staff feed and care for wildlife in a virtual visit. Monterey Bay Aquarium Be delighted by the antics of sea otters or mellow out to the hypnotic drifting of jellyfish. With ten live cams to choose from, you can experience the wonder of the ocean no matter where you are at montereybayaquarium.org. Yellowstone National Park Yellowstone is one of the most spectacular national parks in the United States. Kids can view landmarks like Old Faithful, the Mammoth Hot Springs, and the Fountain Paint Pot at https://www.nps.gov/ yell/learn/photosmultimedia/ virtualtours.htm. Great Wall of China Tour No passport needed for this panoramic tour that allows you to walk through one of the oldest and most historically significant wonders of the world. Find it at thechinaguide. com. More virtual field trips and fun is at baystateparent.com.
16 MAY2020
Homespun
Fun
Backyard Fun
5 budget-friendly backyard activities to entertain kids at home
• Fill the water balloons with water, tie each with a knot, and then tie a string around each knot • Tie several water balloons to the rope using the attached strings so that the balloons hang overhead like a row of piñatas • Have each child take a turn swinging the plastic bat to see how many balloons they can burst in 30 seconds
DOLORES SMYTH
“M
om, I’m bored!” Those three words strung together can trigger waves of anxiety in any parent, especially now, when our children’s daily schedules are wide open while a parent’s is cresting to its fullest. You may be tempted to surrender the smart device fight and let the kids get glassy-eyed for hours in front of their screen of choice. Instead, resist raising that white flag and look no further than to your own backyard for enjoyable and affordable ways for your kids to have some fun. Here are 5 budget-friendly activities to keep your kids busy having a blast in your own yard.
1. Set up an obstacle course. Backyard obstacle courses are loads of fun, can be easy or elaborate depending on your child’s age, and can consist entirely of objects you already own. For younger children, an obstacle course can include: • Hula hoops to hop in and out of • Buckets to weave around slalom-style • Yoga mats spread on the grass for forward rolls • Balls to toss into laundry baskets • An inflatable pool to jump into at the end of the course For older kids, a more challenging course can consist of: • Folding tables to crawl under • Planters to jump over • Water balloons to transport intact by spoon • Balls to toss into boxes of decreasing size • A hose to knock down items lined up on a table 2. Channel a classic with a game of lawn Twister. To make a grass-version of this classic game, purchase cans of marking paint in red, blue, yellow, and green from your local hardware store. To create the game grid:
4. Get creative with colorful water art.
• Use a plate to trace a “Twister dot” on a piece of cardboard or poster board. Trace a small circle for the smaller hands and feet of young children or a large circle for older players. Cut the circle out to create a hole in the cardboard or poster board and, voila, you have a Twister dot template. • Place the template on the grass and spray paint through the hole in the template to create rows of dots. Be sure to place the dots close enough so that children can easily reach over from dot to dot, and be sure the game grid area is large enough to accommodate the number of children playing. • Once the dots are painted onto the grass, grab your indoor Twister spinner and start playing! If you don’t have a Twister spinner, write down each of the four directions (left hand, right hand, left foot, or right foot) for each dot color on separate index cards. For example, one card will read, “Right hand. Green.” • Call out each direction and watch players stretch and balance as they strive to be the last kid standing on your lawn Twister board!
3. Throw a fiesta with water balloon piñatas. Your kids can wear their bathing suits for this wet and wild game of water balloon piñatas. For this activity, you’ll need water balloons, string, a strong piece of rope, and a plastic bat. • Tie the rope between two trees or two other sturdy structures
Bring out your child’s inner artist with this game of water squirter art. Fill water squirters with water mixed with food dye, using a different color for each water squirter. Set down sheets of paper on the grass or tape sheets of paper onto trees and watch your kids paint colorful masterpieces, one spray at a time.
5. Create an outdoor reading haven. If a more low-key activity suits the bill, create an outdoor reading oasis for your child to enjoy and beat the dreaded “summer slide”—the decrease in a child's reading and other academic proficiency during the summer months. To curb this summer learning loss, turn a shady spot of your yard into a reading retreat with items you already own, such as: • Beach or patio chairs to kick back in for a relaxing read • A milk crate or bench to use as a makeshift table to hold books, word game or math problem paperbacks, and educational magazines • A divided serving tray filled with healthy snacks such as turkey and lettuce pinwheels, carrot sticks, grapes, and cheese Dolores Smyth is a parenting writer and mother of three kids ranging in age from preschool to junior high. Her work has appeared in numerous publications. You can follow more of her work on Twitter @ LolaWordSmyth. BAYSTATEPARENT 17
Homespun
Fun
Elevate your
A
hh, sidewalk chalk. Simple, cheap fun with no mess to clean up? Yes please. From toddlers to teens, every kid enjoys the chance to create some outdoor art. Give a kid a piece of chalk and stretch of driveway or sidewalk, and they’re going to keep themselves entertained… at least for a bit! Here,
we’ve compiled some epic ways to take this timeless pastime to the next level. DIY Chalk and Paint You can create your own custom colors or find new ways to create with these easy make-at-home projects. You probably have almost everything you need right in your pantry.
Sidewalk Chalk You’ll need: • 2/3 cup Plaster of Paris • 1/3 cup water • 3-4 tablespoons washable paint • Silicone mold (any shape will work… be creative!) To make: In a cup, mix together the water and paint until well
18 MAY2020
combined. Then add the Plaster of Paris, and mix until lumps are gone. Consistency will be similar to runny yogurt. Pour mixture into the silicone molds. Once full, tap the mold gently on the counter to remove any air bubbles. Let the chalk set for at least 24 hours. Then, pop the chalk out of the molds and make sure they feel dry all over.
Chalk games and ideas Make a mosaic Using painter’s tape or masking tape, create an outline of a design on the pavement (for example, a heart). Once you’ve finished the outline, begin to run pieces through the middle to create various sized and shaped areas. Then, fill in each section with color. Remove the tape, and voila! Alphabet game Write out the letters of the alphabet with chalk. Then challenge kids to find something from the house or yard that starts with each letter, and place it next to it. For example, a rock on letter R.
Puffy Sidewalk Paint
Sidewalk Paint You’ll need: • 2 tablespoons cornstarch • 3 tablespoons water • 2 tablespoons washable paint To make: Mix water and cornstarch together until lumps are gone, then add paint.
You’ll need: • 1 ½ cups flour • 1 ½ cups salt • 1 ½ cups water • Food coloring • Squeeze bottles (we scored these condiment bottles for less than $1 apiece at Walmart) To make: Mix together the flour, salt and water together until fully
combined and lumps are gone. Separate the mixture evenly into 3 bowls, or as many colors as you’re making. Add the food coloring to each bowl and stir, about 10-15 drops, or until you get your desired color. Add one color to each squeeze bottle, then, get creating! Note: The paint comes off easiest when it’s not all the way dry/hardened. Just hose it off to clean up.
Self portrait Have your child lay on the ground and trace their outline. Then let them go to town creating their own chalk portrait, with clothes, jewelry, hair, etc. Target practice Draw a series of concentric circles with a bullseye in the middle, and toss a rock or bean bag. Make up points for each circle (for example 50 points for a bullseye, 40 points for the next circle, and so on).
Pretend play Be anyone or anywhere you want! Draw in some props, a background, whatever you can think of and let kids become part of the scene. They can fly over buildings, sit under an umbrella, or lounge at the beach. Hopscotch with a twist Instead of skipping and picking up stones, think of some different activities that your children can do when they land on a spot. Stomp, twirl, jump, clap, sing, dance… the possibilities are endless. Connect the Dots Draw a simple outline of a familiar object such as a tree, house, flower, etc. using only dots. Let the kids use sidewalk chalk to connect the dots and find out what picture the dots make. Draw roads Draw small roads with intersections and road signs for kids to drive their matchbox cars on. Or, make larger roads with intersections and signs for kids to navigate with their bikes and other rideon toys.
BAYSTATEPARENT 19
Bites
goose’s
goodies
Easy Crepes If we want to get technical, I think these are Swedish Pancakes, but my family has always called them crepes. Either way, they are easy, yummy and versatile; a perfect base for any sweet or savory additions. Roll them up with ham and cheese, or top with berries, bananas, powdered sugar or a drizzle of syrup.
Ingredients 3 eggs 6 tablespoons flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup milk
Directions Beat together eggs, flour, salt and sugar till smooth, then add vanilla and milk. Pour a small amount of batter in a well-buttered small fry pan, just a bit more than covers the bottom of the pan (I use an 8 inch pan). When the batter is no longer “runny” and the top is set, flip the pan over and remove the crepe onto a plate. (You can also use a spatula and do a quick flip of crepe in the fry pan if you want to slightly brown the other side). Be careful not to overcook! Top or fill with fruit or other desired additions. Single recipe usually makes about 8-9 crepes.
Laurie Silva Collins, known affectionately as Goose by her grandkids, is a nurse, mother and grandmother who is happiest when she’s in the kitchen, cooking and baking for those she loves. She learned to cook from her parents, and has perfected her recipes over the years while raising three daughters… and spoiling seven grandchildren.
20 MAY2020
Bites
Food for
Thought
Raisins have more pesticides than the ‘Dirty Dozen’ produce
How worried should parents be? BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER
T
he Environmental Working Group recently released its annual list of produce items with the highest levels of pesticide residue, which they dub the Dirty Dozen. They are the 12 fruits and vegetables that those worried about consuming pesticides should always buy
THE
organic, the group says. Strawberries, regular culprits, top the list again, but the group also called out raisins for the first time, calling them “the dirtiest produce commodity.” According to EWG, almost 70 percent of the fresh produce sold in the United States has residues of pesticides. Their annual Shopper’s Guide to Pesticides in Produce analyzes Department of Agriculture data, which tests washed and peeled produce, to identify the fresh
CLEAN FIFTEEN
BROCCOLI MUSHROOMS HONEYDEW MELON CABBAGE KIWIS
AVOCADOS SWEET CORN PINEAPPLE ONIONS PAPAYA SWEET PEAS
fruits and vegetables that are most and least contaminated. The Dirty Dozen and its counter-list, the Clean Fifteen, include fresh fruits and vegetables only, but this year’s Shopper’s Guide also included a separate evaluation of raisins, which the USDA tested for the first time since 2007. Almost every sample of non-organic raisins tested by the USDA – 99 percent – had residues of at least two pesticides, as did 91 percent of organic raisins, according to the EWG. “If we included raisins in our calculations, they would be number one on the Dirty Dozen,” said EWG Toxicologist Thomas Galligan, Ph.D. Children under the age of 15 eat a total of about 208 million pounds of raisins each year –
about half of the raisins consumed in the U.S., according to Zion Market Research. The average American consumed about 1.25 pounds of raisins in 2017, the latest year for which the USDA has information. Zion’s industry analysis shows that slightly less than two-thirds of raisins are consumed as ingredients in other foods, with the rest eaten as a stand-alone snack. Additionally, USDA data showed that more than 90 percent of samples of strawberries, apples, cherries, spinach, nectarines, and kale had residues of two or more pesticides. But some experts say we shouldn’t worry too much, pointing out that the mere presence of pesticide residue doesn’t necessarily equal
harm. A study published in the Journal of Toxicology noted that levels of pesticides detected are “negligible” and that the Dirty Dozen list “fails to relate exposures to such residues with established health criteria.” “Consumer exposures to the ten most common pesticides found on the ‘Dirty Dozen’ commodities are several orders of magnitude below levels required to cause any biological effect,” the study says. Still, consumers who are concerned about pesticide consumption may want to consider buying produce from the EWG’s Clean Fifteen list, which showed little, if any, pesticide residues. You can read more about the 2020 rankings at ewg.org.
(frozen)
EGGPLANT ASPARAGUS CAULIFLOWER CANTALOUPES
THE
DIRTY DOZEN
STRAWBERRIES SPINACH KALE NECTARINES APPLES GRAPES PEACHES
CHERRIES PEARS TOMATOES CELERY POTATOES
BAYSTATEPARENT 21
Get out, give back Birthday Wishes holding virtual CakeWalk
W
e may be staying home, but we all need some fresh air and a little exercise. This month, getting out for a walk with your family can benefit kids in need, too. The ninth annual CakeWalk, the signature fundraiser for Natick-based nonprofit Birthday Wishes, is happening right in your neighborhood. The yearly 5K and family festival, which raises money to throw birthday parties for children experiencing homelessness, has moved to a “virtual walk.” It’s the organization’s largest and most crucial
fundraiser of the year, helping provide birthday celebrations for thousands of children at nearly 200 shelters. “With so many of us sheltering-in-place, we know people are looking for activities to direct their time and energy in meaningful ways. CakeWalk is the perfect opportunity,” said Denell Nuese, executive director. Every time you go out for a walk, you can log your miles in the virtual CakeWalk. The goal is to collectively walk 6,000 miles by Sunday, June 7, which represents one mile for every homeless child Birthday Wishes will serve in 2020. Registration is $35 for adults and $20 for students. Participants are encouraged to make teams and connect while walking, setting aside a time to call or FaceTime each other while walking through their own neighborhoods. Another idea is for kids to form their own team with friends, and meet virtually for walks while helping other kids. Ready to lace up your sneakers? Visit birthdaywishes.rallybound.org to register.
A GOOD PARTY IS ALWAYS IN SEASON! Reach more than 80,000 readers each month with baystateparent’s Party Pages! Contact Kathy Puffer to book your Party Page ad today! Call 508-737-5653 or email kpuffer@gatehousemedia.com
22 MAY2020
take eight with Sleep Consultant
Jensine Casey
When it comes to babies and toddlers, sleep can often be a source of parents’ stress. But not for mom-of-two Jensine Casey. The certified sleep consultant, who lives just north of Boston, is founder of Baby O and I, and helps make parents’ “dreams” come true.
1.
What exactly does a sleep consultant do? I work one-on-one with families to identify their sleep issues and develop a plan to get their child sleeping independently. Families typically come to me when they are in a sleep situation that is not working for the entire family, and we work together to find a method and solution that both parents are happy with.
2.
How did you get into this line of work? What were you doing beforehand? I worked as a Developmental Specialist in Early Intervention for years, and I found that I was talking with a lot of families about sleep -- how to get children to nap, when to schedule naps, expectations for sleep at certain ages. I knew when I found out I was expecting my second son that I wanted to work for myself, and since I had done so much work around sleep and knew it was a huge need for parents it felt like a logical next step.
3.
What’s the most common issue parents seek your help for? A lot of parents reach out to me when they feel they have done everything to get their child to sleep, but no other methods have worked. No matter the age, having a child sleep independently in their own space, and stay asleep, can pose a huge challenge.
4.
What’s one of the most common mistakes parents make when it comes to their child’s sleep? One of the hardest things to know is how awake time impacts a child’s sleep. Too much or not enough awake time during the day both impact a child’s sleep. There is a “sweet spot” that each child should get, but can be hard to identify.
5.
What’s the process of working with a sleep consultant? Families fill out a detailed questionnaire on their current sleep situation; naps and nighttime. From there, I put together an individualized sleep plan with what to do in each sleep situation, stepby-step, for two weeks. Each child and family
situation I work with is different, so no two plans are the same. We review the plan to ensure a family feels 100% comfortable going forward, because if they’re not comfortable with the plan they will be less likely to follow it, and the child will not be the successful sleeper we all want. I am there for the two weeks parents are implementing the plan to answer any questions and troubleshoot issues that arise. Noone learns how to do something perfectly the first time, so having a sleep consultant at your fingertips is crucial to meeting those sleep goals.
6.
Are there any never-break bedtime rules in your household? I’m very type-A (my poor husband!) and follow the rules to a tee, but with two children less than two years apart I have learned to let things slide and bend the rules. But I do have a big rule about screen time before bed. No matter what’s happening, the TV is turned off at least one hour before bedtime for my oldest. I’ve found he is much calmer and ready to sleep when we start his bedtime routine.
7.
What’s the most surprising thing you’ve discovered about yourself after becoming a mom? I knew I wanted to be a mom from a very young age, but being a mom is totally different from what I envisioned! One thing that’s surprised me is just the overwhelming love that you can feel for your children, and the fierce need to protect them from anything and everything that can be harmful. I’ve also discovered that I’m a bit of a control freak and need to work on letting go and trusting others with tasks that have to do with my boys. Easier said than done!
8.
If you were stranded with your kids, what are three things you hope you’d have on hand? Snacks are my first thought, because one of them is always hungry! A change of clothes for each would be second because my boys love messy play and if there is any type of water/mud/sand where we are stranded they will find it right away! And the third would be a book because we love to snuggle and read together during the day. Hopefully that would help pass the time until we were found!
BAYSTATEPARENT 23
24 MAY2020
