BBM April 2012 652 by bbmlive.com

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APRIL HIGHLIGHTS CREAMFIELDS

Creamfields Australia is back for its biggest show in 2012! Featuring: DAVID GUETTA, ABOVE & BEYOND, VITALIC, W&W, DIRTY SOUTH, ALESSO, EXCISION, GIUSEPPE OTTAVIANI, CONGOROCK, SIED VAN RIEL, TRITONAL, DOWNLINK, SHOCKONE, MaRLo, BOMBS AWAY and MC STRETCH. What: Creamfields Australia 2012 When and Where: Friday 27 April - Adelaide Saturday 28 April - Melbourne Sunday 29 April - Sydney Saturday 5 May - Perth Sunday 6 May (Long Weekend) - Gold Coast Price: 1st release tickets $80-$100 (prices vary depending on location) For more information on Creamfields Australia 2012 visit www.bbmlive.com

BLEEDING KNEES CLUB – NOTHING TO DO TOUR

Following their latest single “Nothing To Do”, the Gold Coast garage-pop duo are touring Australia this April. Named by NME as one of the 100 top bands to watch in 2012, they plan to only get bigger and better. Supported by the Dune Rats, they will be stopping in Gold Coast, Byron Bay, Brisbane, Bondi, Canberra, Sydney, Wollongong, Geelong, Ballarat, Melbourne, Hobart, Adelaide, Scarborough, Bunbur, Perth and Fremantle. What: Bleeding Knees Club Australian Tour When: Thursday 5 April – Saturday 28 April 2012 Where: Various Venues Nationwide Price: $15.30 For full tour dates log on to www.bbmlive. com

BOY 8-BIT NATIONAL TOUR

BOY 8-BIT’s name and music is on everyone’s lips and ears right now. Championed by everyone from Pete Tong and Fake Blood to Cassius, DJ Zinc and Annie Mac, there’s an awful lot more to be seen and heard from BOY 8-Bit AKA DJ/producer David Morris. April sees the second half of BOY 8–BIT’s tour down under, with him playing Bendigo, Coolangatta and Melbourne.

CIRCOLOCO – Australian Tour 2012

What: Boy 8-Bit National Tour When: Thursday 5 April – Monday 9 April 2012 Where: Bendigo, Coolangatta and Melbourne Price: Prices vary depending on venue For full tour dates visit www.bbmlive.com

Born in an old airport hangar in Ibiza, CIRCOLOCO, the ‘Crazy Circus’, is undoubtedly one of the most well-known club brands in the world. CIRCOLOCO has built its name by playing the most cutting edge house and techno, having the wildest and sexiest crowd and some of the world’s best DJs as residents. This year for the first time CIRCOLOCO will tour over the Easter weekend, with Sydney and Melbourne in its diary. Get Loco. What: Circoloco When: Friday 6 April 2012 Where: Billboard The Venue, Melbourne Price: $57 + BF When: Sunday 8 April 2012 (Easter Sunday) Where: The Greenwood Hotel, Sydney Price: $40 + BF

M.A.N.D.Y

It’s been 12 years since Berlin’s Electro-House duo started out and this Easter they are coming to Australia once again. M.A.N.D.Y. pushes boundaries that other electronic producers fail to push, and because of this their music has become a mainstream pleaser and incredibly current. With Bodmer dropping the likes of minimal, techno and house, the pulsating bass keep you wanting more and the beats dropped leave tingles up your spine. What: M.A.N.D.Y When: Thursday 5 April 2012 Where: Shape, Perth Price: $35 + BF When: Friday 6 April 2012 Where: Billboard The Venue, Melbourne Price: TBA When: Saturday 7 April 2012 Where: Chinese Laundry, Sydney Price: $15-$25

LAST DINOSAURS MILLION YEAR AUSTRALIAN TOUR

The Brisbane Indie four-piece have received national and international acclaim for their debut album ‘In A Million Years’ which is set to be released in the UK later this year. . This April, Last Dinosaurs are taking their music to Adelaide, Perth, Fremantle, Geelong, Ballarat, Melbourne, Sydney, Canberra, Brisbane, Toowoomba, Gold Coast and Sunshine Coast. What: Last Dinosaurs Australian Tour When: Friday 13 April - Saturday 28 April 2012 Where: Various Venues Nationwide Price: $18.40 For full tour dates visit www.bbmlive.com

AUGUST BURNS RED

When August Burns Red unleashed their 2009 breakout album, Constellations, they became a band that could no longer be ignored. The Pennsylvania-based metalcore giants find themselves on Australian soil once again with their fourth album Leveler, supported by Blessthefall and Northlane. What: August Burns Red with Blessthefall When: Thursday 19 April 2012 Where: Panthers, Newcastle, NSW Price: £44.15 When: Friday 20 April 2012 Where: Metro, Sydney Price: $47.05 When: Tuesday 24 April 2012 Where: Fowler’s Live, Adelaide Price: $26.15 When: Wednesday 25 April Where: Amplifier, Perth Price: $46.75

THE SPECIALS

Legendary UK Ska Group The Specials are in Australia this Easter, following the success of their 30th Anniversary Tour in 2009. The show will have somewhat changed from when they formed in Coventry in 1981, but you can still expect the classics we all know and love. Not to be missed. What: The Specials When: Sunday 1 April – Saturday 7 April 2012 Where: Fremantle, Adelaide, Melbourne, Byron Bay and Sydney Price: Around $100 (prices vary depending on venue) For full tour dates log on to www.bbmlive. com

Booking Ahead APRIL 1 S.A.S.H The Abercrombie, $10 1 TOM GREEN Enmore Theatre, $44.90 1 DEAD MEADOW The Corner Hotel, $35 1 SABRINA & THE RED VANS The Toff, $11 2 MONDAY NIGHT MASS feat. BUM CREEK & FRANCO COZZO Northcote Social Club, Free 2 THE SHELF The Toff, $28.50 3 JOHN HIATT & THE COMBO Metro, $71.70 4 BUDDY GUY Enmore Theatre, $107.20 4 JOHN COOPER Northcote Social Club, $28 4 LOST & FOUND Revolver Upstairs, Free 5 YANN TIERSEN Metro, $60 (Over 18’s Only) 5 BLITZEN TRAPPER Oxford Art Factory, $45.90 6 UNDERLIGHTS Northcote Social Club, $13 6 FREESTYLERS BOAT PARTY Billboard, $45 + BF 7 ZAPPA PLAYS ZAPPA Metro, $69.50 7 HOLD TIGHT! FEAT. JACQUES GREENE, AFRICA HITECH Oxford Art Factory, $44 7 THE SPECIALS Enmore Theatre, $96.90 7 SNEAKY SOUND SYSTEM Hi-Fi, $25 8 ZIGGY MARLEY Metro, $68.70 + BF 8 SANDY RIVERA Hi-Fi, $39 8 GRONG GRONG The Tote Hotel, $18.40 8 BEN BROWNING The Toff, $18.30 8 ELECTRIC OWL Brown Alley, $49.95 8 TWISTED AUDIO PRES DJ FRESH Brown Alley, $34.60 8 LOVE LUCY Billboard, $29.70 9-12 THE RUBENS Northcote Social Club, $13 11 DAWES The Toff, $31.10 12 SEASICK STEVE Metro, $64.40 13 BLUEJUICE Metro, $28.70 13 CHILDREN COLLIDE The Corner Hotel, $28 13 THE KHANZ The Lair, $9 + BF 13 THE MEDICS Northcote Social Club, $13 13-14 BLEEDING KNEES CLUB Oxford Art Factory, $12 13 RIOT Brown Alley, $29.50 14 COSMIC GATE Metro, $60 14 PETER HOOK: A JOY DIVISION CELEBRATION Enmore Theatre, $79 14-15 MY DISCO The Toff, $23.40 18 ZULU WINTER Oxford Art Factory, $33 20 AUGUST BURNS RED Metro, $47 20 DZ DEATHRAYS Oxford Art Factory, $12 20 THE MERCURY THEATRE Revolver Upstairs, $10 21 SIX60 Metro, $28.70 21 LAST DINOSAURS Oxford Art Factory, $15 21 THE HERD The Corner Hotel, $30 22 AUGUST BURNS RED Billboard, $47.45 23 JAY & SILENT BOB GET OLD Enmore Theatre, $90 24 CRACKER NIGHT Enmore Theatre, $69 24 5.6.7.8’S The Tote Hotel, $42.85 24-25 STONEFIELD Northcote Social Club, $18 25 CHOPPER’S ANZAC DAY Enmore Theatre, $35 25 KRAFTY KUTS Brown Alley, $35 26 SEAMUS MCALARY Yalumba Wine Bar, $19 27 BIG SCARY Oxford Art Factory, $15 27 DZ DEATHRAYS The Tote Hotel, $15.30 28 JOHN BUTLER Metro, $55 28 AN HORSE Oxford Art Factory, $15 28 THE HOT DUB TIME MACHINE The Lair, $20 28 DERRICK MAY Chinese Laundry, $25 28-29 JASON BYRNE – PEOPLE’S PUPPETEER Enmore Theatre, $38 28 MOROCCAN KINGS Revolver Upstairs, $13 29 THE NEVER EVER The Lair, $18.50 + BF 29 BALL PARK MUSIC The Corner Hotel, $20 29 HOLLIE SMITH Northcote Social Club, $ 23 MAY 3 SAMMY J & RANDY – THE INHERITANCE Metro, $28.90 3 HUSKY Oxford Art Factory, $18 3 THE GETAWAY PLAN The Corner Hotel, $33 3 THIS ART TOUR Revolver Upstairs, $12.70 4 ANTHONY SALAME – STRAIGHT UP Metro, $25 4 BLOCK PARTY The Lair, $19 4 STEPHEN K AMOS Enmore Theatre, $45.90 4 MOUNT KIMBIE Hi-Fi, $38.50 4 JAMES ZABIELA Billboard, $TBC 5 ORBITAL Metro, TBC 6 THE MOUNTAIN GOATS Metro, $46.70 6 AMAYA LAUCURUCA Northcote Social Club, $10 7 ROSS NOBLE Enmore Theatre, $44.90 10 THE MACCABEES Metro $52.70 10 THE MOUNTAIN GOATS The Corner Hotel, $48 11 PUBLIC ENEMY Metro, $77.50 12 CATCALL The Toff, $15.20

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY ANZAC DAY CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE PERTH TRAVEL QUEENSLAND TRAVEL GET SOCIAL MUSIC NEWS INTERVIEWS FUNNY NEWS SPORTS CRYSTAL BALLS JOKES GET LATE ADULT CLASSIFIEDS VISAS • TAX EMPLOYMENT TRAVEL AUS, NZ & FIJI ACCOMMODATION AUSTRALIA

BBM EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby richard.gadsby@what-media.com Contributing Online Editor Rebecca Jones what.media1@what-media.com Online News Editor Ella White ellabbmlive@gmail.com CONTRIBUTORS James Stapleton, Frankie Salt, David Mahoney, Jeremy Williams, Ella Delancey, Sarah Wilk, Ross Fisher, Robin Lewis, Mike Kenna, Alexandra MacLeod, Rachel Trickett, Luke Lambert, Alex Cull, Jason Barr, William David Wilson, Fanny Frangipane, Omar Solimon, Peter Simpson, Ella White, Robert Bramhill, Dani Nortje, Tina Edwards, Lewis Roe, Gareth Thomas, Meredith Berman, Alex Carter Noske WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber & Jess Comber HEAD DESIGNER Jess Comber E: jess@gowesthandbook.com FOR PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir E: tom.shakir@what-media.com P: +61 2 8005 8162 Peter Bennett E: marketing1@bbmlive.com P: +61 8 9433 6162 For listings and classifieds E: info@what-media.com P: +61 2 8005 8162 PrinteD BY Spotpress

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Best Boutiques

MANLY BEACH The ferry ride from the city to the Northern beaches is a great start to a day over at Manly. This beach provides both locals and tourists with beach fun for all. There are plenty of safe areas to swim, great waves for surfing and Kodak moment opportunities left, right and center. Although Manly Beach isn’t the most beautiful of the northern beaches it’s definitely a great place to get the perfect combination of ‘pub and sun’ for the day. Don’t be fooled by the tacky beachwear shops on the way to the beach - once you lay on the sands, the sound of the ocean is heaven.

You don’t have to be a fashionista to enjoy a good funky find when it comes to clothes, treasure and trash. Vintage and boutique shops are not as easy to find on the streets of Australia as they are back home. Inject a bit of sparkle back into your wardrobe or liven up your ‘travelling’ attire with a little trip to some of our favourite fashion caves. SHAG Everyone loves a good Shag. No, we’re not chattin’ naughties - we’re just loving the vintage store which has ‘Shag’ written all over it. Shoebox in size - massive in range and collection. You can’t help but spend hours in this place looking at every specially chosen garment. A Shag item isn’t a rip off either - just banging clothes at bargain prices. Their collections range through all the ages, so there will always be something to suit everyone’s tastes. 34 Oxford Street, Paddington GRANDMA MAKES A TRIP Can’t be that bad supplying the top stylists, magazines and shoots with their vintage and retro range. These guys have the most amazing retro and vintage collection throughout the city and import their collections from the UK and Europe, so you know you won’t be wearing the same as many other fashion lovers in Australia. Carefully sourcing some of the most exquisite gear, make sure you check out Grandma Makes A Trip to bring the wow factor to your wardrobe. 263 Crown Street, Surry Hills 79 Gould Street, Bondi Beach MY BOUDOIR These guys do the work so you don’t have to. The staff at My Boudoir eat, live and breathe vintage clothing. With the familiar aroma of history when you step in the door, you’ll be confronted with some excellent finds. Situated in the centre of Darlinghurst My Boudoir is in a great location for an afternoon rummage. 323 South Dowling Street, Darlinghurst

COOGEE BEACH A treat at the end of the blissful Bondi to Coogee walk (definitely worth a go whilst you’re in Sydney) Coogee Beach definitely has a different feel to it than Bondi, it’s a 10 on the chill factor and it doesn’t get as packed as its neighbouring beach. Other beaches on the Bondi-Coogee walk are all worth a visit; Bronte and Tamarama are spectacular classics too. PALM BEACH Although Palm Beach wouldn’t be at the top of every Sydney-siders list in terms of best beaches, BBM loves this hidden gem. Palm Beach is seriously easy going, ‘Home and Away’ we hear you say, this beach is as beautiful in person as it is on the screen. But don’t worry; you don’t need Australia is renowned for its picture perfect beaches and sick surf to love Home and Away to love this beach. Palm Beach is full of quaint spots. Sydney has a top chill out beach for every day of the week. cottages and covered with lush greenery, so we strongly suggest headSydney is more than just a city full of hustle and bustle - the beaches ing on down for an afternoon of feeling the ocean breeze in your hair. give it that extra cool factor that make it a multi-faceted travel destiBy Frankie Salt nation to experience. We’ve chosen to reveal our favourite beaches to kick back and relax at. On these beaches there’s no room for banana hammocks or ankle snappers; just a chilled out crowd appreciating the sands and the surf, so what are you waiting for…

Beautiful Beaches

BONDI BEACH Uber hot diggity dog. This beach is trendy, fashionable and kinda ‘sceney’. But Bondi doesn’t come with the pretentiousness of some other trendy beaches. There are ample bars, hotels and shops to keep your thirst quenched and your wardrobe looking fresh. It can become very crowded at the weekend but there’s always enough room to find HARLEQUIN MARKET a spot and hunker on down for a bit of me time. If you’re more of a get– Good things come in small packages. Harlequin Market screams style up-and-go type then you’ll find the perfect waves to get your surf on. and personality. Based in the hub of Sydney’s fashion district Pad- There’s also a great surf school if your skills aren’t quite up to scratch dington, there is something different about Harlequin Market. Carry- and a great market on at the weekends ready for your leisurely perusal. ing names such as the UK’s ‘Preen,’ which is a definite winner, you’ll be able to get your hands on the best fashion this side of the planet. 94A Oxford Street, Paddington

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Madame Fling Flong Madame Fling Flong’s has had a complete refurbishment and with a brand new menu to boot, it’s the place to be. Originally operating as Soni’s Restaurant with the funky cocktail bar ‘Madame Fling Flong’ upstairs, the venue has now changed hands, and having retained the name ‘Madame Fling Flong,’ it is now a brand new tapas style restaurant and bar. Sophisticated yet warming, Fling Flong’s has an invitingly friendly atmosphere that makes you want to visit again and again. The quick, friendly, relaxed service with chilled out music sets the tone upon arrival. The smoking area is out on the street but this is fine, as the front’s open western style feel makes it easy to keep talking to people still inside the bar. If you’re inside, it allows you to observe the busy high street passing by. A few plants give a natural feel to the place. The colours are co-ordinated and natural, but warm and friendly, giving a rustic feel to this bar & brasserie.

Check out some of the menu… ‘Dueling’ haloumi with green almonds, mint, pickled turnip, onion and lemon Duck liver pate with pickled celery hearts, candied walnuts and croutons Cured salmon with pickled nasturtium buds and onion cream House-cured carne salada Champagne poached rhubarb, house-made honeycomb, vanilla cake and thyme cream Level 1, 169 King Street Newtown NSW 2042 www.madameflingflong.com.au Opening hours: Sun to Thu Noon - 10:30pm Fri to Sat Noon - 11pm

The food is breath-taking, fresh and full of flavour, they have just the right mix - not too much and not too little. Regardless of food preference, the appetisers have something to suit everyone’s palate. The flavours are balanced beautifully - the Zucchini in particular. The use of classic well-loved ingredients mixed unusually with other flavours you would not normally put together means Chef Chris Bell creates something wonderful you will not have tried ever before. Everything is light and immensely mouth- watering, that leaves you wanting more. You will be pleasantly taken back by the delicate flavours . Come with an open mind, because you will definitely be satisfyingly surprised by the plethora of food combinations on offer. Even the way the food is presented isn’t pretentious, it’s simple yet professional. However, it is the food itself that is the focus here and not the presentation of it,- genuine cuisine. If you are not used to an expensive sophisticated restaurant or bar then Madame Fling Flong’s is a great place to start. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, you will feel very welcome, relaxed and wanted. The staff are great, genuinely happy, smiley and not at all false. An element of home-made craftsmanship in every aspect of the menu, this even transpires to the cocktails. Here’s some of our favourites that Madame Fling Flong has to offer… Bellini Martini – It’s original, you may have heard the name before but you will not have ever tried this particular drink . Fling Flong’s make everything their own, even your typical cocktails are infused with flavour. Everything is freshly made which creates a very unique taste. Chocolate Martini – Innovative, you really taste the chocolate, and the ingredients are homemade which gives it that delicious edge. It comes with homemade honeycomb, which is quite literally the best we’ve ever had! By Annalie McGlennon

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CHECK CHECK THIS THIS OUT OUT -- SYDNEY SYDNEY British Beers

Best Burgers

You don’t have to be British to really enjoy a British beer - although bias does obviously aid the love for a good British tipple. Sydney is beaming with some great little hangouts boasting big selections of British beers.

BURGERLICIOUS For the last nine years, this beefy delight has been creating a burger that takes you to a new burger high and also boasts a great vegetarian menu and surprisingly tasty burger wrap selection - this place doesn’t half know how to serve a burger to remember. 100% Australian, 100% Burgerlicious. 215 King Street, Newtown, Phone: +61 (0)2 9519 7401 130 Liverpool Street, Sydney CBD Phone: +61 (0)2 9264 4446 Corner of Kings Cross Road & Darlinghurst Road, Kings Cross Phone: +61(0)2 8065 6150 www.burgerlicious.com.au

Lord Dudley Pub Pork pie? Pickled eggs? Decent grub? What more could you want from a proper British pub? The owner has been in it to win it for over 30 years and you can tell that there is heart and soul at the Lord Dudley. A perfect place to meet with mates after work or for a warm up to a night at the weekend. Lord Dudley gets British beer just like a British pub does with Guinness and Bulmers on tap, you’ll quench your thirst UK style in no time at all. 236 Jersey Road, Paddington The Royal George Head to The Royal George for a gourmet pub experience. We’re not going to tell you it’s like your traditional British public house with dart boards and open wood fires; however, it’s a great little joint serving Caesar salads and fish and chips giving you the taste of home alongside its great British beers on tap. 320/330 George Street, Sydney The Yardhouse Leaning more towards the Irish bars, this place does still serve as a British entity with lots of beers on draught and bottled beers to choose from. This place offers a mean pint of Guinness and Magners and some good pub-grub to match. Watch out for the karaoke nights and a top quality pub quiz too! Corner George Street & Hay Street, 2000 Cock ‘N Bull Bondi Junction isn’t exactly the biggest party suburb. However, the Cock ‘N Bull pub certainly knows how to serve a pint of buzzing pub atmosphere to take you straight back the pubs at home. With food on the menu for less than $3 and a night of dancing and singing on the side; the Cock ‘N Bull is always a winner. Start as you mean to go on; the happy hour session from 4.30-6.30pm is enough to get you in the Cock ‘N Bull vibe. With Irish cuisine a plenty you can definitely enjoy a good old pint of stout. The bottl-o is stocked with export beers amongst wines for pretty sweet prices to boot. 89 Ebley Street, Bondi Junction

but a slab of cheesy heaven and bacon beauty that you’re after, The Burgerman will be more than happy to serve you. 116 Surrey Street, Darlinghurst, Phone: +61 (0)2 9361 0268 www.burgerman.com.au

Sometimes when you need a burger, you need a damn good burger. None of that fast food tripe that almost does the job, but a nice juicy succulent proper burger. Sydney is bursting with brilliant burger bites; it’s just knowing where to find them. The burger doesn’t have to be fancy with frills and glitter - just a good piece of meat and some fresh sauce, salad and seasoning is all it takes to win over a serious burger lover.

THE BURGER JOINT You should never judge a burger bar by its cover. Not that this place looks grim in the slightest; it just doesn’t need to try too hard. Simplicity is this burger bar’s friend, and burgers are the family. The Burger Joint believes in the burger and is beaming with the goodness of being a sole trader. 393 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst, Phone: +61(0)2 9380 2575 www.theburgerjoint.com.au

MOO BURGERS There isn’t much this place doesn’t have to offer when it comes to the mighty burger. Therefore, it’s suggested that you don’t eat here if you have a long list of ‘to do’ after a ‘large Moo.’ It’s definitely worth the food coma however. Enjoy rolling out of this joint. 70A Campbell Parade, Bondi Beach, Phone: +61 (0)2 9300 8898 242 Coogee Bay Road, Coogee Beach, Phone: +61 (0)2 9664 4300 232 King Street, Newtown, Phone: +61 (0)2 9565 4001 www.moogourmetburgers.com.au BURGERMAN A sweet selection of beers to suit a fantastic selection of burgers, this hidden gem down a little street in Darlinghurst, humbly boasts one of the finest burger menus in the city. This place has a really cool vibe to it, and if it’s a damn good original burger with no frills

By Frankie Salt

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SYDNEY MAP 1 Lavender St

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Government House

FARM COVE

Cahill Expressway

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Pitt St

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B unking Down in Bondi Upon landing in Sydney, there is most probably one place that is top of your list of “places to visit” – Bondi Beach. It’s undeniably the most famous and most photographed beach in the world, renowned for its tanned, surf-obsessed, natives and famous life guards who can be seen daily hopping on and off their quad bikes wearing nothing but budgie smugglers, a six-pack and a smile. When choosing a place to unpack that suitcase it comes as no surprise that many are won over by the relaxed pace of the neighbourhood where early morning surfing or a quick dip at Icebergs is the standard way to start the day. Team this with fantastic vintage and boutique shopping, great markets, a café culture that could teach Paris a thing or two and plenty of spots to watch the sunset with an ice cold beer and you can certainly see why many choose to make it home. For those who require a little more persuading, here is a run-down of some of Bondi’s coolest hangouts, which epitomise the enviable Aussie way of life.

Bondi for coffee and breakfast… Across Australia people are obsessed with finding the perfect coffee. The vast amount of competition in Bondi’s “perfect latte stakes” means that only the best, most ethically sourced beans will do in their organic, soya, half-shot lattes. Take a wander down Hall Street and allow yourself to be enticed by the aroma of coffee emerging from the colourful, open-fronted cafes. Grab a take away or pull up a seat and watch the beautiful people of Bondi going about their day. Bondi folk understand the value of a good breakfast. Veggie options of avocado, thickly sliced seeded bread, chunks of feta and perfectly poached eggs will seduce even the most carnivorous breakfast goer – not to mention breakfast burritos, which are the perfect pre or post-surf sustenance. Here’s a list of some of Bondi’s most popular cafes and breakfast spots. A word of warning: Breakfast is more popular than dinner round these parts. Either arrive early, book a table or bring a paper and expect to wait… Gusto on Hall Street has been around for years and is a firm favourite with loyal lovers of their time-tested formula for strong, creamy coffee. Pull up a stool at their counter and keep a sneaky eye out for their famous clientele! Le Paris-Go is a popular, licensed café that has recently been re-furbished and had a menu overhaul. The eggs benedict are what dreams are made of; as are the pancakes and veggies have a wealth of options to choose from. This is where the cool kids hang out so expect a lot of cut off jean shorts, sleeve tattoos and day-glo Ray Bans. My Favourite Child on Glenayr Avenue serves up some of the best espresso in Bondi and the decoration alone is reason enough for a visit. ‘Marvel’ at the guitar signed by 90s boy band, Hanson, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures and the retro arcade game, which if you don’t mind waiting your turn, will help you to pass the time as you wait for your mocha.

Bondi for top quality eats… Everywhere you look in Bondi it seems that people are exercising. If it’s not a band of tanned surfers rushing to be the first down to the shore, it’s shirtless beefcakes running along the promenade or hipsters opting to get from A to B on their ‘fixie’ bikes. As well as being great motivation to get yourself in training, it means that there are plenty of top quality establishments fully-equipped to feed the hungry masses. To appeal to the healthy locals, Bondi’s restaurants serve up large portions of nutritious delights. No matter what you fancy, your inner hippy can rest safe in the knowledge that many places source their ingredients locally and are constantly considering your waistline! Pies are an Aussie staple and even the calorie-counting Bondi residents recognise this. Fortunately, the owners of Funky Pies have taken it upon themselves to serve creations made with only locally sourced, organic ingredients mixed together to create delicious flavours like No Wurry Curry – a tasty blend of lentils and chick peas in a coconut curry sauce or Eezy Chic’n Cheezy – chunks of chicken mixed with broccoli in a delightfully cheesy sauce. Wash your pie down with a fair trade tea or coffee or a freshly made juice. Grab an iced bucket full of Corona’s and pull up a pew at The Beach Burrito Company. Enjoy generous portions of amazingly cheesy chimichangas, nachos, burritos and tacos all in surroundings reminiscent of a Mexican beach bar. If you’ve got a hankering for unusual cocktails accompanied by excellent tapas head to The Flying Squirrel Tapas Parlour on Bondi Road. Try crispy pork belly or Tuscan meatballs washed down with a Rhubarb Bellini, a Jerry Jinger Jar or one of their famous Bloody Caesars. This is known as a perfect date spot and the menu even boasts the impressive statistic “99% success rate for first date leg-overs”. Form an orderly queue boys!

Grab an early evening drink in the casual surroundings of Bondi FM. You may have to battle for space with surfboards, dogs and designer handbags but the deck chair strewn lawn and house-party atmosphere is well worth it. Radio station, Bondi FM, is broadcast live from here so if you get bored you can always try your best at distracting the presenters…just an idea. The Bucket List is a pop-up bar and café right on the beach. Although only open until midnight this is an excellent location for early evening beers as the sunsets. An added advantage is that the ringside seat will help you to understand why those Bondi lifeguards landed themselves their own reality TV show. Any bar whose tag line is ‘F*ck everything and become a pirate’ is our kind of hang out. The tattooed, longhaired bar staff in The Anchor are as close to real life pirates as Bondi gets and serve up some of the best margaritas in the area with a smile. 34 Degrees South is a tucked away, speakeasy style basement bar on Campbell Parade. There is always excellent live music on Thursday nights and unusual cocktails including fig and wasabi daiquiris, which genuinely push the boundaries of sense…and taste. Try them for yourselves. Another great date location is Chapter One wine bar right across from the beach. Select your tipple from the extensive wine list and impress your date with a cheese board – the perfect accompaniment to the Bondi sunset. You can’t mention drinking in Bondi without mentioning the Bondi Hotel and the Beach Road Hotel. What these spots lack in ambience, they more than make up for in committed party people. The Bondi Hotel is open until 4am so if you are planning a session in Bondi, you’re more than likely to end the night here.

Bondi accommodation...

There is a no bookings policy at North Bondi Italian but you can grab a drink at the bar and take in the beautiful views of the beach (and the bronzed waiting staff). There is a massive choice of dishes to suit all tastes and portions are substantial so there is no need to over order no matter how much of an appetite you have worked up during the day.

As you can see there are many reasons to live in Bondi. With buses that run straight into the heart of Sydney, and trains from Bondi Junction, it makes for a great location to commute into the centre of the city if you’re planning on working whilst you’re in Sydney – or if you just fancy using it as a base you’re able to get to most parts of the city from here.

Bondi Hardware began life as a soulless hardware store before the innovative owners saw its potential and transformed it into a cool restaurant serving pizza and top-notch sharing plates.

From hotels, to apartments, sea view apartments and hostels, you can find a range of accommodation to suit your budget. Hostels start from around $25 per night, with apartments averaging at around $630 per week. So depending on what you’re after we’re sure you’ll find something suitable.

Bondi for drinking… Although not necessarily as raucous as nearby Kings Cross, Bondi has more than its fair share of places to enjoy a nice refreshing libation. Unlike The Cross, the backdrop is a lot less neon and ladies of the night and a lot more unspoilt views, refreshing sea breezes and beautiful people. A number of fantastic cocktail and wine bars have sprung up which cater to the tastes of the overly cool clientele and there are some fantastic options for live music too.

In conclusion, it’s plain to see why many opt to lay their hats in Bondi. The proximity to the sea, unbeatable food and drink and sheer number of longlegged, blonde haired surfer types means that people can really discover the Australia that they always dreamed of. We’ll meet you there… By Amy Baker

Bondi Picnic on the corner of Hall and Glenayr serves up cold-drip coffee that packs a punch and is perfect if you’re in need of a caffeine hit on a boiling hot day. Why not browse the shelves of charming café-cum-second hand bookshop, Gertrude and Alice on Hall Street. The Moroccan lentil stew here is to die for as are the plentiful salads chock-full of the freshest, locally-sourced ingredients.

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ANZAC DAY - TWO-UP HOW TO PLAY TWO-UP From the bleechers, Two-Up LOOKS like a simple game. But once you get in the ring, it’s anything but. So unless you want to come home feeling like you’re wallet’s been through a warzone this ANZAC Day, it’s time to listen up. What you’ll need: Wads of cash Your ATM card to get more cash All your mates Lots of Dutch courage How to play: This is where it gets complicated… Ok, it’s confession time. We’ve done our research and actually asked home-grown Australian’s just how to play Two-up, as quite frankly, we don’t get it. It gets played every ANZAC Day and we’re fed up of not being able to join in. We’ve always thought Two-Up was easy: a bunch of people throwing coins in the air, making lots of noise and then winning or losing money, depending on whether the coins landed heads or tails, or a combination of the two. Oh how naïve we have been, because once you start to actually read the rules, you quickly realize the game is more like an astrophysics equation that would even stress Stephen Hawking out. So lets start with the basics… Two-Up can only legally be played on the 25th April (ANZAC Day). Oh, wait, and the 15th August (Victory Day in the Pacific). Erm, and the 11th November (Remembrance Day) but not all day, just after 12 noon. Oh, but you can play all day on ANZAC Day or Victory Day. In other words, you don’t need to wait until after noon on these two days, you can play anytime after 12 midnight the night before, through to 12 midnight that day. Actually, you should only play until 11:59pm, because if you played through until 12 midnight you’d risk playing on the 26th April; or the 16th August; or the 12th November, which could involve huge fines, and possible imprisonment. Unless you’re in Broken Hill, where it’s legal all-year-round, for some reason. Except before noon on Remembrance Day. So literally one of the only days when everywhere else can play, it’s restricted in Broken Hill. Awesome. Not confusing at all. Ok, so now that’s cleared up – onto the rules… There are a few terms in Two-Up that you will need to understand. There’s the ‘Boxer’, who keeps everyone in line without throwing a single punch; a ‘Spinner’, who actually remains stationary for the better part of the game; a ‘Cockatoo’, that’s less avian and more intoxicated RSL patron; a ‘Kip’, which has nothing to do with napping and more to do with launching; and a bunch of coins that are no longer legal tender in Australia, that is ‘Pennies’ (which you chaps should know all about). Clear?

If you’re still confused (and don’t worry, we are too), maybe this will help – according to the “Rules for Two-Up” available on the NSW Government website, placing a bet simply involves: “All wagers on Two-Up shall be made by placing gaming chips on the appropriate areas on the Two-Up layout. Players shall be responsible for the correct positioning of their wagers on the TwoUp layout, whether or not they are assisted by the Boxman or a croupier. Each player must ensure that any instructions given to the Boxman or croupier regarding the placement of the wagers are correctly carried out.” Still with us? Didn’t think so… Our advice is this - just keep an eye out for a bunch of people standing in a semi circle, full circle or a weird disorganized line, and copy them. Or just go play the pokies. Coin goes in slot, press any button, you lose your money, it’s totally win-win-win! By Beth McMullen & Allan Brady

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Taronga Zoo

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE ST KILDA BEACH St Kilda is definitely up there with the best beaches of Melbourne. It’s on its way back to its heyday and is an uber cool chill out spot for all you beach bums. There are plenty of quirky cafes and perfect spots to watch the sunset. Shallow seas and soft sands makes this a beach for everyone. St Kilda is great if you love to cycle and skate. You will forget you’re in Melbourne city and you can mix with both Melbournites and tourists alike. BRIGHTON BEACH Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Brighton Beach is as cool and chilled as Brighton back in the UK. This beach is more upmarket and less spoiled than St Kilda, expressing some seriously laid back lovin’ and beautiful surroundings. Beach huts and boutique hotels combined with the sick swirls coming into the bay makes Brighton a top Melbourne beach…bodacious dude!

Best Boutiques If the high street is really starting to look as exciting to your as a bowl of rotten cabbage, you need to put the spice of boutique style back into your wardrobe. If any city across Australia is going to satisfy your need for fashion, Melbourne is your first stop for vintage and boutique soul. For exciting treasures and finds, check out our selection of markets and stores to have a good old look around and find that perfect piece to liven up your wardrobe.

WILLIAMSTOWN BEACH Catch the train to Williamstown Beach Station, step out of the CBD into the SSS. Sun, sand and sea is plentiful in Williamstown. Piers, gardens and a picturesque coastline are just a few of the things this beach has to offer. The town itself is encased by three sides of water all screaming out for you to run and dive into for that ‘aaahhhhhh’ moment. PORT MELBOURNE BEACH Love the city so much that you can’t find the motivation to go too far? Then head to Port Melbourne. At only 15 minutes away, it’s the closest beach to the city and is full of fellow city dwellers that just fancy a little chill at the beach. And who can blame them? A clear favourite of Melbournites, it’s a top chill out ‘city chic’ beach.

GREASY JOE’S This place prides itself on being a St Kilda institution serving not just burgers but breakfasts too. You’ll be welcomed with open arms down at Greasy Joe’s, however we must point out that Greasy Joe’s isn’t all that greasy - just really delicious and dripping with burgery-goodness. If you’re a no nonsense burgetier then Joe will be your new best mate. 68 Acland Street, St Kilda 3183 www.greasyjoes.com.au/ LAMBSGO BAR This burger joint is kitsch with a capital ‘K’. Heading to a burger bar, of course the focus is on the burger itself. However, that’s not where it needs to stop. This place has such a distinct selection of beers and ales to chase the burger down with that you’d be a fool not to try out Lambsgo Bar. Good times, good tunes and a damn good burger - get involved. 135 Greeves Street,Fitzroy 3065 www.lambsgobar.com.au

Grill’d have taken some serious burger love and smeared it all over Melbourne. This place is top quality. No messing around, just some serious dedication to the burger world. This is obvious from their explosive menus - the only problem is that there maybe too much to choose from. However it’s definitely worth a try, and with their vast locations all over the city, you don’t have to look too far to get grill’d. 15 Degraves Street, 3000 330 Bridge Road, Richmond, 3121 278 Clarendon Street, South Melbourne, 3205 Many other CBD and outer locations, Melbourne www.grilld.com.au

RETROSTAR If you like things big and brash- Retrostar have a selection of boutique and vintage clothing to last you another lifetime. Their collections range from the 1940s to the 1980s and boy, do these guys know how to please you fashion lovers. The largest vintage store in Australia, you could be spoilt for choice. Warning, you may well end up going wild and purchasing a whole new wardrobe. 37 Swanston Street, 3000

OUT OF THE CLOSET European fashion makes a statement in this vintage boutique. Come rain or shine, there are clothes to suit your mood and the season. From crazy statements to subtle accessories, Out Of The Closet is big in size and big in range. They carry POP, Dillinger and Skank Denim amongst many other labels. In their own words, “to put it bluntly, they know their shit”, so you won’t be disappointed. 238B Flinders Street, 3000

With fashion week’s in full swing across the globe, 8th - 15th March sees t Despite it being trendy to have nothing on your plate but a dab of sushi, we believe that there’s nothing wrong with a plate full of juicy meat, chunky chips and a bottle of beer after a day at work or sleeping on the beach. Don’t waste time missing out on the real stars of the burger world, we’ve picked our favourite spots in Melbourne to get down and dirty with a big slap of beef.

GRILL’D

THE CAMBERWELL MARKET If you love a good haggle and you love a good find, Camberwell Market will be right up your street. Melbourne is full of great market opportunities and what a better way to spend your Sunday mornings than having a rummage through some old boxes of delights. You know what they say: another person’s trash is another person’s treasure. Burke and Riversdale Road

SOMEDAY If it’s more designer boutique from today you’re after rather than the vintage attire, then Someday is the boutique for you. The collections here stand out from other boutique shops and Melbournites rave about and simply cannot get enough of Someday. Brands range from Original Fake, Kitsune, and Wood Wood a must visit shopping destination for the style conscious. 252 Swanston Street, 3000

Best Burgers

ANDREWS HAMBURGERS This place has been creating the ‘burger of all burgers’ since 1939! “You’re having me on,” we hear you say. Nope, we’re not- this guy has taken time and experience to bring you the burger of your dreams. Be prepared to wait a while at the weekends - this joint isn’t a secret in the burger community of Melbourne. To say how popular and famous this place is, they don’t take the Michael with the prices - which makes it that little bit more appealing. Take that rumbling stomach straight down to Andrews to indulge it in some prime beef. 144 Bridport Street, Albert Park, 3206 www.andrewshamburgers.com.au

British Beers

By Frankie Salt

With St George’s Day on the horizon it’d be rude not to lavish yourself in British beers across the oceans. There’s something different about a cold British beer in a pint glass. Sometimes a schooner just won’t do. That’s why, luckily, Melbourne has a few very nice spots to enjoy a British pint in the sunshine (a novelty for us Brits in Aus) - the beer garden is definitely a plus out here in Australia- possibly because you don’t need an umbrella or a duffle coat to enjoy your bevy.

British Crown Hotel

This place is known for its cheap-as food and decent priced pints. There’s a great atmosphere here at the British Crown Hotel and the beer garden is always full of after-work like-minded people who just want to chill with the Melbourne still and enjoy a sweet selection of food and beers. 18 Smith Street, Collingwood, 3066

Elephant & Wheelbarrow

Tradition isn’t something you would think to stumble across in Melbourne’s CBD. However, the big Elephant & Wheelbarrow get it right down to a capital ‘T’. Saturday night bands and a live selection of sports suit every pub-goer’s needs. There’s a seriously cool vibe down here at this British joint and after a few pints you’ll almost certainly have one of those ‘where am I again?’ moments down at the E&W. So what are you waiting for go and have a pint of Old Speckled Hen or Bulmers, or even a Guinness or Kilkenny and feel instantly at home at this pub. 94-96 Bourke Street, 3000

Bridie O’Reilly’s

Do you crave a British beer in a proper British boozer? If it’s British and Irish beers you’re after, this bar certainly gets it right. With Kilkenny, Guiness, Magners and Bulmers on the menu you can get your fix in the heart of Melbourne. Bridie’s is always busy with thirsty Aussies and Brits alike wanting a taste of the UK. Food and drink go hand in hand here; when the sun is shining outside, make it shine inside with cold pint of British love. 62 Little Collins Street, 3000

Beautiful Beaches Melbourne is seen to be one of the quirkiest and alternative cities of Australia. Everywhere you look there is something that adds to the wow factor. Loved by so many locals and tourist alike, the beaches most definitely give the city an extra edge. With local bands playing at different locations around the beaches of the city—why not combine a day of the arts and the music with a relaxing day by the ocean?

Pint & Pickle

Authentic atmosphere and décor - the Pint & Pickle provides that home from home feeling. With mainly Irish cuisine and Guinness on tap, the Pickle as it’s called by the locals and tourists alike love the staff and the draught beer. A traditional fireplace and timber floors gives it that quaint English feel even when the sun is shining and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. 448a Nepean Highway Frankston, 3199

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MELBOURNE MAP

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There was a time when Melbourne was considered Australia’s premiere city, but its acclaim was lost when a battle with Sydney to be titled capital ended with the creation of Canberra. Whilst Sydney went on to be known for the beauty of Sydney Harbour, Melbourne sunk from note on many a tourist’s trail. However, from the hustle and bustle of the CBD through to its notoriety as the spiritual home of Australian Arts - Melbourne is busy city that never rushes but equally never sleeps - which has no doubt lead to it ranking as one of the world’s top three most liveable cities! Though the chance to see the world’s largest tram network is hardly a major pulling factor, Melbourne’s bustling laneways must prove something of a pull. The tiny alleys are bustling with small businesses and equate to graffiti heaven! However, if urban jungle isn’t your scene - why not lose yourself in one of Melbourne’s many parks? There is a reason for the state of Victoria being known as the garden state, and its state capital sees no reason to be an exception to the rule. Whilst Melbourne is packed to the brim with parks, the most impressive lies just a five minute walk from the CBD. The Royal Botanic Gardens boast plant species both common and rare alongside beautiful birds - be careful as you may end up feeling like Alice in Wonderland! And for those sports fans - don’t forget that Melbourne has been home to both the Olympics (1956) and Commonwealth Games (1996) and also hosts everything from the Australian Open (tennis) to the F1 (motor sports) and of course, the Melbourne Cup (horse racing). This leads to a plentitude of stadium tours and exercise opportunities. Last, but of course not least, before we take a closer look at some of Melbourne’s suburbs, a moment has to be taken to celebrate Melbourne’s most famous street - Ramsay Street. Whilst Erinsborough may only exist in the land of TV, pop down to Pinoak Court in Vermouth South and you may just recognise a house or two...

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TRAVEL VICTORIA If you’re heading over to Victoria a trip along the Great Ocean Road is an absolute must and is usually referred to as one of the top reasons to visit Victoria. Winding along the amazing south western coast of the State, the Great Ocean Road offers some of the most picturesque views you are likely to come across anywhere in the country. It is without doubt the most spectacular coastal drive you’ll ever enjoy, as you come across awe-inspiring scenery, top beaches, quaint coastal towns and an eclectic mix of the country’s famous wildlife.

Great Ocean Road

If you have your own transport then you can drive the entire length of the road in a day with the trip taking roughly five-and-a-half hours to cover all the main sights. However, if you do have the time it’s well worth setting aside a few nights on the road to take in the region’s true beauty. There is plenty of accommodation along the way in the various seaside towns and marine villages. If you don’t have your own transport then there are a number of day tours that will take you from Melbourne, stopping off at the various hotspots along the way. Tours cost anywhere around $100 and run the entire year round. Although most trips will start in Melbourne, the Great Ocean Road region actually starts in the town of Geelong and the Bellarine Peninsula, running all the way to Nelson on the South Australian border. The road runs along the Bass Strait, which separates mainland Australia from Tasmania. The strait is renowned for its rough seas, which over the years have battered the Victoria coast creating an amazing series of natural phenomenon along the way. Your trip will begin in Geelong, Victoria’s second largest city, before taking in the historic Queenscliff and Point Lonsdale, which overlook The Rip, the narrow and deadly entrance to Port Phillip Bay. The ocean side of the Bellarine Peninsula on which the area sits has some of the country’s best surfing beaches. Among these is Torquay, which boasts some of the best waves west of Hawaii. It is also home to the Surfworld Surfing Museum. Bells Beach is also popular and frequently hosts major international surfing competitions. As you travel along the coast you will come across a series of seaside resort towns such as Lorne and Apollo Bay, which are perfect escapes from the city life. The region has top beaches and a fantastic water sport culture, and is also close to the amazing rainforest scenery at the nearby Otway Ranges. One of the most popular stretches of all the Great Ocean Road has to be around Port Campbell National Park, where the world famous Twelve Apostles lie. These are without doubt the highlight of any trip down this famous route, and will live long in the memories of anyone who sees them. The coastline around Port Campbell has been sculpted over millions of years to form these striking limestone formations that leap out of the ocean. There are several lookout spots, including one at which steps lead down a 70 metre cliff face near the Apostles to a beach to give a different and close up view of this spectacular geological phenomenon. Further along the coast, the large town of Warrnambool offers a chance for a look out on the breeding grounds of the rare Southern Right Wales, which arrive from the waters of the Southern Ocean around Antarctica between May and September to give birth. Surf fishing, estuarine fishing, ocean fishing, lake fishing and fishing in mountain streams are all available near the Great Ocean Road. Common catches include trevally, snapper, whiting and trout.

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PERTH MAP 1

Perth, the capital of Western Australia, epitomizes the modern urban scene. It’s definitely isolated. But with its contemporary architecture, vibrant art scene, and countless restaurants capped off with funky bars and swish nightclubs, you won’t feel like you’ve staggered onto the scene of an old Western flick. And the locals here are a very nice complement with their friendliness, youthfulness and diversity. Perth’s CBD is all glass towers and wind tunnels, like any city. But graciously absent is the coldblooded corporate culture that so permeates Sydney and Melbourne. While you’re in Perth, check out the Perth Mint, on the corner of Hay and Hill Streets. It boasts the world’s largest collection of gold nuggets. Take a walk along the Swan River on Riverside Drive, head up to the Hay and Murray Street Malls, amble over to Northbridge for lunch and walk back down to Barrack St Jetty in time for one of the afternoon ferries from Barrack St Jetty to South Perth.

On the south side of the Swan River you’ll find Perth Zoo. The Perth Zoo has over 1500 animals comprising 200 different species. Local animal celebrities to be found here include kangaroos, koalas, numbats, emus, and dingoes.

Despite existing on the fringe of an already isolated continent, Perth and Western Australia are also abuzz with modern cultural activity. In fact WA’s isolation has resulted in cultural traditions that are truly unique and quite distinct from their urban Aussie counterparts to the east. Perth has more hours of sunshine then any other state capital in Australia. This has given rise to a prolific and rich outdoor culture. Entertaining, socializing and drinking outdoors, is simply the way life is lived over here. Western Australia is also the backdrop for such epics as Australia the movie, Rabbit Proof Fence and author Tim Winton’s multi award winning novel Dirt Music. The annual Perth Arts Festival is an arts fest of major international standing with a 55 year history with loads of free entertainment and gigs. For more information see www.gowesternaustralia.com.au and www.bbmlive.com/TravelAustralia/western-australia.html

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TRAVEL PERTH Things To Do In Perth Juxtapose the city and nature by visiting Kings Park. A botanical wonderworld, you’ll find yourself engulfed by nature trails galore. As you walk around Kings Park you’ll be assisted with plenty of information plaques to tell you just what everything is from the vast array of flora and fawna on display. This also makes for some great photo opportunities as you ascend to the heady heights of the eucalypt canopy by embarking on the Federation Walkway. With stunning panoramic views you’ll get a view of Perth like no other around. Fancy seeing some kangaroos whilst in the city? Then why not take the Cat bus slightly out of town and wander over the Causeway to Heirisson Island. The city of Perth and the Town of Victoria Park are linked by The Causeway which is actually two bridges which span the two foreshores and the island. It occupies an area of roughly 285,600 square metres. This little island in the middle of it all is home to a small group of kangaroos, but make sure you go early in the morning or at dusk if you want to see them, as they’re pretty shy in the middle of the day. If being immersed in nature isn’t on your bucket list, and you’d rather a night on the tiles then head to Northbridge. Friday and Saturday nights come alive in this lively part of Perth. Northbridge is a few minutes walk north of Perth’s CBD and boasts a vast array of pubs, clubs, bars, cafes, shops, galleries and is also home to one of the biggest concentrations of restaurants in Australia. But remember, if you haven’t got an Australian driving license, they will want to see your passport unfortunately, so make sure you take it with you, but be careful not to lose it whilst you’re on the source. When you’ve got a day to spare lazing around then head to Cottesloe Beach. Often described as the playground for the rich and beautiful; Cottesloe Beach is adorned with Norfolk pine trees, cafes, pubs, cycle paths and picnic and BBQ facilities. The best time to visit Cottesloe Beach if you’re on a weekend bender though is Sunday, for their famous Sunday Sessions. If holding on to the last remnants of your weekend is high on your list of priorities it really is the best way to cap off an epic weekend with a pint in hand watching the sun go down over the Indian Ocean. By Fanny Frangipane

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TRAVEL QUEENSLAND Travel Queensland Queensland. Beautiful one day, perfect the next. Until the rain clouds come in, wash away a lot of infrastructure, ruin people’s livelihoods and do damage to some of the world’s most spectacular beaches. But Mother Nature also has a funny way of licking her own wounds and repairing that damage to provide us with a place “where Australia shines”, according to Tourism Queensland. Seriously though, if you’re looking for a top spot for your next holiday, Queensland would have to be the place to pick. It literally has something for everyone, no matter your social, cultural or financial persuasion.

Speaking of government, if you’re into politics, what better place to go right now than Queensland? You can set up camp at Parliament House in Brisbane, crack open a beverage and just sit back to watch the drama unfold, as Anna Bligh struggles to retain the leadership while her federal colleagues self-implode.

If you’re into budget travel, head to the Sunshine Coast for lots of cheap deals on hotels that boast more stars than the roof of your 10-year-old self’s bedroom. Plus, you can get your SCUBA or snorkel on at the Great Barrier Reef. There you’ll be able to bear witness to the miraculous recovery of a world-class ecosystem. Plus, it shouldn’t be too crowded, so more voyeur time equals better value for money.

While you’re in the capital, you can check out some of the best live bands and experimental theatre in the country, in an emerging art scene that is giving Melbourne a good run for its money. By Beth McMullen

If you’re sick of hearing people complain about the ‘English summer’ that we’ve been experiencing this year, just wait until the weather turns to autumn and people start complaining that they feel the season’s sold them short. But you can avoid all that whinging and complaining by employing this simple escape tactic – head to Queensland. Not only will you be warmer, you’ll be surrounded by chilled out people, because no matter how bad the weather gets, it’s always warm. It’s the perfect place to avoid pumpkin soup for a few weeks once the cooler months do set in. If you’re into adventure travel, we have two words for you – fun parks. Need we say more? Not only can you ride some sweet waterslides or roller coasters, you can reminisce about how much scarier they appeared when you were a kid. Double win.

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If altruistic travel is your thing, you could put aside a few weeks to volunteer in the clean-up that’s still going on around many parts of Brisbane and its outskirts. These guys were badly hit in the 2011 floods, and are probably feeling pretty exhausted after a year of non-stop clean-up. Heck, some people are probably still waiting on their support package from the state government.

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TRAVEL Whether you are a resident or a visitor to Australia, it is entirely acceptable for you to crave new ways of exploring the country. Perhaps the thought of trekking on foot is tedious, or road-tripping in the car just a little to sedate for your thirst for adventure. Perhaps you’ve already been there, done that, and got the Aussi t-shirt to prove it. Whatever it is, why not consider a kayak as your new mode of transport and exploration? Sea-Kayaking is a thrilling, adrenaline-inducing activity which allows a whole new way to experience and enjoy the coastline and surrounding islands. Areas that at first seem untouchable can be investigated first hand, as wildlife and fragile coastal areas can be reached without causing lasting disturbance or damage to the environment. Be warned, booking is essential, but there are a number of kayaking enthusiasts situated all around Australia’s varying coastlines that offer safe but eye-opening experiences, and are ready and prepared to get you settled and confident in your floating vessel. We’ve found the best spots and tour guides in each territory for you to discover the joy of freedom in paddling across endless warm sea waters.

Sparkling wine is provided as part of the package, which certainly makes it the most romantic of tours to choose from. All of these tours cater for all needs, providing equipment, food, guidance and support. Adventure Kayaking SA is another one of these - located 90km South of Adelaide - they provide the facilities for group explorations of some of the most beautiful areas along the South Australian coastline. They have kayak tours of The Adelaide Dolphin Sanctuary, Rapid Bay Sea Caves and the Coorong National Park, which is particularly popular. The knowledgeable tour guides will feed you with intriguing facts about the history, heritage and fragile ecology of the area whilst you enjoy spectacular views, and scenery from a whole new perspective. Paddling through undulating smooth waves in fresh, seaside air offers the ultimate sense of freedom. To top things off, they literally do throw some shrimps on the barbie, providing the perfect seafood BBQ to end your kayaking adventure in true Aussie style.

Sea Kayaking In Australia

By Ali Macleod

In the Western Territory, look no further than those who go by the name of Rivergods. Based in Perth, Western Australia, they specialise in water sports and activities, providing safe, enjoyable day trips for the family, and longer trips for up to five days for those adventurous types who want to escape into the wilderness for a while. Opportunities for trekking and snorkelling are integrated into the trips to provide a real insight into the wilderness, and your trips are likely to feature sea lions, penguins, dolphins, dugongs and turtles, depending on which tour you choose. If you’re visiting Queensland, Coral Sea Kayaking is based in Mission Beach, Tropical North Queensland, where they offer tours within the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park, as kayaking causes no lasting damage to the delicate environment. The tours are specifically designed to encourage an appreciation of the beauty and diversity found in the Great Barrier Reef, and range from half-day trips paddling along the coast, to day trips across to Dunk Island. Port Stephens in New South Wales makes the ideal location to enjoy sea kayaking on this coast, and Port Stephens Ecosports offer the best guidance in these waters. The most magical experience they offer is the Sunset Tour, a tranquil, peaceful journey which allows you to watch the vivid sun set, and see its colourful reflections bounce off the water creating a spectacular view.

Waterskiing Waterskiing isn’t always viewed as the most glamorous of water sports. From ending up arse over tit, to getting a nose full or sea water, and possibly risking getting a ski through your ear, we’re not utterly convinced, however if we weren’t such pussies we’d give it a go. One of the BBM team, however, wasn’t too afraid to take the plunge, here Marissa Davis tells us about her experience… Bobbing up and down in the water, I grip onto the handle of the ropes attached to the speedboat maybe ten metres in front of me. Peter, my instructor leans over the back of his vessel and gives them a final tug, presumably to check they won’t snap off while I’m in the midst of another perfectly timed somersault. The engine is fired up and I feel the adrenalin start to kick in. Just enough time for a few, short, sharp breaths. “You ready?” Peter shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Er...Yeah,” I scream back, the self-doubt evident from the wavering in my voice. Peter takes helm at the steering wheel and pushes the throttle leaver forward. The acceleration leaves me with no time to think. Suddenly I’m moving forward in the water at an alarming rate. The skis attached to feet feel clumsy and awkward as my unbalanced frame begins rising out of the water. Then, before I know it, I’m on my feet. Wow, I’m actually on my feet. I can do this. I lean backward a little, gripping onto the handle bars, loving the liberating feeling of speed that is only enhanced through the relatively small surface area of my skis. I let out a girly whoop of exhilaration, even daring to take one hand momentarily off the handle bar to pump my fist at a couple of people watching from the shore. Then I see the glassy surface of the water maybe two or three inches from my nose. Suddenly I’m underwater, then I’m in the air again, then back underwater for a second. It really should have occurred to me to let go of the rope once I’d lost control but some dogged side of me truly believed I could make some kind of heroic recovery. Eventually reason takes over, I concede defeat and let the rope turn slack in the water. Wiping out is a bit of a shock to the system initially but once you get into it, the whole waterskiing experience is incredible. You can go solo but it’s a good idea to go as a small group together and make a day of it. This is particularly fun as watching your mates plough through the water is almost as enjoyable as taking part yourself. Each ski run takes about 15 minutes, with participants being alternated one at a time. It’s fairly knackering so do a few press-ups to get in shape before you go. If some of your mates are too scared to try waterskiing, many places offer added activities such as being towed along in one of those ridiculous inflatable doughnuts, boat surfing or knee boarding. Those who watch too much Fuel TV may also consider wakeboarding as it’s generally regarded as a slightly cooler way of doing things. By Fanny Frangipane

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Get Social Trending This season it’s all about bold colours and vivid prints, so we’ve collected a plethora of fluorescent accessories to get stuck in to this month. From trendy t-shirts to funky phones and cool cameras, we’ve picked out this month’s must-have additions to fully immerse yourself in all their kaleidoscopic glory. Lazyoaf.com It’s time to mix up that mundane summer wardrobe, and where better to look than lazyoaf.com? Their eclectic collection of graphic t-shirts are perfect for livening up any outfit, and there’s a pattern to suit everyone. If you’re not up for braving a bright fruity crop top or the oversized tee emblazoned with a Bassett’s Liquorice Allsorts inspired design, then why not try out a sad face? Or if that doesn’t suit your mood – and it shouldn’t - with a range like this to choose from – then how about big yellow flowers to cover each boob? Or a scribble-effect heart print? Whichever you desire, be sure to make this fluoro explosion a summer staple in your wardrobe to brighten up any day. Kotori Headphones Never mind the quality, the latest craze when it comes to headphones is matching them with your clothes and accessories. Despite a recent turn in favour of over-ear headphones, Japanese brand Kotori have over 100 styles of the funkiest in-ear headphones around. You can even design your own by selecting colours of your choice from the 10 different components. Fostex, who supply recording and speaker equipment for Kotori have collaborated to create these new headphones, ensuring that not only are they aesthetically pleasing, but they are also the quality of top professional sound equipment. They can only be purchased online at kotori.fostex.jp and they won’t break the bank. Pentax x Marc Newson Pentax have teamed up with one of the world’s most influential contemporary designers, Marc Newson, for the launch of new digital hybrid, the PENTAX K-01. Designed and developed by Newson, the K-01 features an array of exceptional features, including full HF video recording, high speed burst shooting, an extra-wide sensitivity range, and 16 megapixel CMOS image sensor with low image noise and multiple aspect ratios. But most importantly, all of this comes in a super cool camera body, available in classic black or a funky fluorescent yellow. This is definitely one for all budding photographers to get their hands on from colette.fr who deliver internationally. Swatch New Gent Lacquered Swatch’s latest watch, the New Gent Lacquered, bursts with style and creativity. While the vibrant colours make them eye-catching from a distance, the exposition of the intricate inner workings of the watch make them even more interesting up close. These watches are available in a variety of colours, so you are able to stand out in neon yellow or play it cool in crisp white. The very clever people at Swatch combined style and practicality in order to create a watch that is the perfect accessory to give the wow factor to any outfit and we at BBM are certainly very appreciative! Yubz Retro Handsets Who would ever have thought that safety precautions could be cool? Well, Yubz have successfully achieved this near impossible feat by creating Yubz Retro Handset. This brilliant telephone is not only insanely stylish but also reduces phone radiation by 96%. It also comes in a variety of colours and Yubz have even invited famous modern artists from around the world to print their own pieces on the phone. Gone are the days of talking into a plain, modern phone and reborn are the days of the brilliantly big retro handsets. Eley Kishimoto x Tatty Devine. Eley Kishimoto is back for a second season, collaborating with Tatty Devine to create these wonderful masterpieces. Eley Kishimoto’s beautiful designs from their Spring/Summer 2012 collection, called ‘Toy Town Eden’ have been printed onto jewellery to create the ultimate statement accessories. Perfect for summer, these pieces are bright, bold and gorgeous. Wear with co-ordinating colours for the ‘Prim and Proper’ look or clash the prints for a more edgy, unique look. Every pattern is more stunning than the last making them the ultimate must-have jewels this summer. By Ella White & Hannah Biggs

BBM's Apps Of The Month This month we’ve found you a selection of fabulous new apps that will make your smartphone just that little bit more interesting. From games, to helpful tools to aid you on your travels, check out what James Stapleton has unearthed this month. Skyscanner – This free app version of the ever popular website is one heck of an aviation aid, providing an intuitive way to search and plan your flights. With up to the minute information and a unique, eye-catching interface, users can search for their nearest airports, the best prices, airlines, time of day, flight duration, take off time –and the large number of filters provide you with a very customizable experience. It won’t guarantee not losing your baggage or stop you having to sit in a departure lounge for eight hours, but it will do its best to make your global travels a more pleasant, penny saving experience. Price: FREE, Available on iOS/Android Clik – is a new app that allows you to control and stream YouTube from your phone onto any webenabled screen around you. This QRS based technology is simple to use and even allows multiple phones to stream content so there’s no ‘hogging the remote control’, situation. Doesn’t appeal? Not that bothered? Well you could for example, use it to take control of a colleague’s computer and stream whatever video you like to it. So whether you decide to use it for good or evil (and BBM insists you use it for evil) this convenient little app is a useful example of just how ‘smart’ the smartphone market is becoming. Price: Free on iOS/Android

as an upcoming criminal type working his way up (or is it down?) the underworld food chain, completing missions and the gruesome errands given to you. However most people just play it in 10 minute bursts, carjacking and behaving like a homicidal maniac, making it in fact ideal for short bursts of phone gaming, and at this price, it’s a bonafide steal. Price: £2.99/ $4.50 on iOS and Android. Highlight - is a social discovery app that helps introduce you to new people. Utilising your Facebook details, highlight will search the people immediately around you and inform you of any mutual friends or common interests. It’s a clever idea but whether this changes the social fabric of our technological loving society remains to be seen. On the one hand, it could help you meet new people with a common interest and is therefore potentially perfect for travellers. Then again people may just find that offering that much information is…well,more than a little creepy. Regardless, experts believe this is a game changer and as a free app it is a worth a look if only out of sheer curiosity. Price: Free on iPhone. By James Stapleton

Evi – is a personal assistant that does everything Siri should do. The boffins at Cambridge based company True Knowledge, have put together no less than 635 million answers on 28 million topics into an easy to use, fast to respond, personal assistant. So good is Evi, that Apple have in fact threatened to remove it from their online store. Watch your back Siri. Price: Free on Android £0.69/ $1 on iPhone GTA 3 - Game time, and what could be better than the arrival of the most famous console game of the modern era? It is of course Grand Theft Auto, beautifully and surprisingly well converted onto the small screen. Just in case you have somehow managed to remain unexposed to the most controversial game of all time, GTA is essentially a vast ‘sandbox’ game that allows you to play

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MUSIC NEWS ALBUM REVIEWS

Over the past few years there’s been a glut of folk musicans; Laura Marling, Fleet Foxes, Bon Ivor... it’s making a comeback, but what’s most exciting about it is that each new artist tries to add something different to make them unique; their own little twist. Beth Jeans Houghton & The Hooves of Destiny follow this trend; not just with a classically weird name. They’re fun, fresh and show us yet another side of folk/electro folk/freaky-folk. Any album that has tracks with names such as ‘Sweet Tooth Bird’, ‘The Barely Skinny Bone Tree’ and ‘Dodecahedon’ is always going to be quirky, and if you’re a fan of this type of music, you’re going to enjoy it - it’s a definite sign of what you’re going to get. The great thing about Houghton & her Hooves of Destiny is the variety of sounds on offer. From energetic (Humble Digs), the classic wistful (‘The Barely Skinny Bone Tree’) and the jaunty (Carousel), they have managed to evoke Kate Bush, Emmy The Great and Field Music. Houghton’s voice might not be to everyone’s taste, but even if you’re put off by her sometimes shrieky tones, the melodies, harmonies and variation that provide the excellent backing will keep you interested and wanting to continue listening. There is an ethereal quality to her voice at time, and when she hits the perfect spot, you’re very aware of it.

Tribes - Baby Camden four-piece Tribes have been hyped up by some of the UK music press (most notably the NME) as a band that can save UK rock ‘n’ roll from the doldrums that it is currently in. Whilst that is a tall order for a fledgling band still finding its feet and developing its own sound, Baby is a solid enough start for Tribes, and certainly better than the post-Blur dead-end of the Kaiser Chiefs or the deplorable faux-indie of the likes of Pigeon Detectives and The Kooks. Frank Black was impressed enough upon hearing their early singles to invite Tribes to open for indie rock royalty the Pixies, a band they are heavily indebted to. The morale boosting support from Black allied with successful use of MySpace to share their early songs, has built a bit of momentum for the band, and the Mike Crossey helmed Baby is the next step after the We Were Children EP.

The 10 tracks last just over 30 minutes, which is almost too short. Listening to it, they’ve it just the right pace and you are left feeling sated, but wishing there was just a little bit more... From what’s on offer here, there’s a great future ahead. RL

So what’s it like? Well the group have in some ways delivered yet another ‘oracular spectacular’ for their follow up. It was never going to be an easy task to surpass the first album’s ten razor sharp tracks, a record that dominated airwaves, clubs and karaoke bars, but they have instead created a bold album that moves their sound forward rather than slavishly replicating their debut. Right from the beginning there is an air of maturity within the albums diversity, opening track ‘Silence’ openly nodding to Depeche Mode and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, leading through to the more hip-hop stylings of ‘Hit me Down Sonny.’

For the most part on their debut album Tribes fuse a grungy Pixies/ Nirvana stomp with glam rock sheen, and top it off with lighter in the air choruses Rivers Cuomo or Brandon Flowers might be proud of. Songs such as ‘Corner Of An English Field’ (which references the deceased Ou Es Le Swimming Pool frontman Charles Haddon, a close friend of singer/guitarist Johnny Lloyd) and ‘We Were Children’ (which features a lead riff suspiciously similar to the Pixies’ classic ‘Where Is My Mind’) are undeniably catchy and disarming, and show Tribes are capable of writing anthems that Joe Public will no doubt warm to. Opener ‘Whenever’ and the penultimate ‘Alone Or With Friends’ are not without their charm either, but ‘Himalaya’ is a ponderously slow song that doesn’t really go anywhere particularly interesting, and ‘Nightdriving’ is a tepid effort that wanders inadvertently into Coldplay territory. Baby is certainly no masterpiece, and the overwhelming feeling while listening to the album is that its songs, though sometimes pleasant, are largely derivative of far superior bands past work. But is no disaster either, and taken on its own merits is a fairly enjoyable listen, and somewhat effective nostalgia trip back to the early 1990s. Also, you get the feeling that many of these 11 songs would translate pretty well on the festival circuit in the summer. WDW

all shouting Katie White have spent a lot of their time over the last four year buried away, recording their follow up in a Berlin jazz club. The story goes that a visit by over eager record executives spooked the band into deleting their entire album and starting again. What followed was no repeat of Guns N’ Roses and the fifteen years it took them to finish Chinese Democracy but instead symbolic of the non-conformist nature of the Tings Tings, all instinct and attitude, they weren’t happy – that was it, and, with the surprising support of the record company the band set about remolding this sophomore record.

Recent single ‘Hang it Up ’quickly follows, a foot stomping, tub thumper of a tune, perfectly encapsulating everything we know and love about them into a nitrous injected three minutes of punk-pop that evens sees the usually silent Jules expertly step up to the mic. The ‘Madness’ Ska stylings of ‘Soul Killing’ is a further feather in their alternative cap, whilst the slow burning ‘Day by Day’ will almost certainly be emanating out every car stereo this summer, a guaranteed radio favourite.

New Build - Yesterday Was Lived and Lost New Build is not the first Hot Chip fronted side-project to surface in 2012. Back in January electro-duo The 2 Bears released their new album Be Strong, and gained a well-respected reputation amongst many music lovers. But now, only a couple of months later, it’s the turn of their fellow band members Al Doyle and Felix Martin, who have teamed up with their long time friend and producer Tom Hopkins, to try and impress the rest of us with this eagerly awaited debut Yesterday Was Lived and Lost. As the aptly named ‘Introduction’ fades into view, it’s glossy tones set the mood perfectly, leading straight into the pop grooves of second song ‘Medication’. Opening lyrics “When you’re all alone/And you’re feeling terrified/Try some medication” flow brilliantly amongst a backing track that oozes with 80s charm, handclaps n’all. And as far as first impressions go, it is a good one. Whilst each of the smooth, synth driven songs leap from one to another, it becomes apparent that there is a Hot Chip vibe present that surrounds the entire record. Probably due to Hopkins also being the producer of One Life Stand (Hot Chip’s last record). Yet, the further into the album you progress, the more indulgent it becomes. It’s like finally admitting that you enjoyed all of those cheesy 80s movies you grew up watching, but claim you hate. Standout tune ‘Behind the Shutter’ brings together all the workings of a complex pop song, but somehow manages to present itself in a wonderfully simple way. Gated pads pulse throughout the whole song, keeping together a sturdy rhythm that is gradually layered up with vocals, drums and, yep you guessed it, more synthesisers.

Guggenheim is their bravest song, half punk, half musical number, an Oliver Twisted story of resentment rising to a explosive chorus of militaristic beats and Katie’s unique vocals, draped in their usual angry ensemble. Whilst it is far to say that ‘Nowheresville’ doesn’t have as many infectiously instant songs, the album still has plenty to fill a dancefloor, tracks such as ‘One by One’ and previous single ‘Hands’, accompanied by a number of mixes on the album should still see this holding pride of place on many a summer party playlist. The album is however very much a mixed bag, the large number of remixes only serving to further disjoint the feel across a somewhat overly generously collection of nineteen tracks. Songs from Nowheresville, is a collection of primal melodic aggression liberally spread over a smorgasbord of musical genres, cleverly woven into a record that really does, despite its fault stand out from the other mainstream acts today. Whilst they aren’t quite on the long train to nowheresville just yet, the Tings Tings hit machine has been slightly derailed in favour of a more expressive, experimental album. The one thing they desire though still remains, no one quite sounds like the Tings Tings.

Yesterday Was Lived and Lost is a record that is sure to make its way into a fair share of this years “Albums of the Year” polls, and rightly so. Not only have the members shown us their diversity when it comes to making new and exciting music, but it’s also a step in the right direction for a genre that is filled to the brim with mediocre bands.

The Tings Tings – ‘Songs from Nowheresville’ Beth Jeans Houghton & The Hooves Of Destiny - Yours Truly, Cellophane Nose

The electric, acid tongued, audible artisans known as the Tings Tings return with ‘Songs from Nowheresville’, their much anticipated follow up to 2008 global smash ‘We Started Nothing’.

New Folkstress gives us a breath of fresh air from the Tyne.

The dynamic duo of beatsmith Jules de Martino and the all singing,

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MUSIC NEWS SINGLE REVIEWS

The handsome Dane has once again recruited the talents of his mate, Jacob Bellens (Murder and I Got Tape) who he collaborated with on 2010’s modern disco floor-filler ‘Young Again’. As well as his Joy Division-esque voice, Bellens contributes the memorable lyrics which will promise to get this summery track buzzing around in your head.

Neon Indian - Hex Girlfriend (Twin Shadow remix)

Neon Indian, the brainchild of 20-year-old Alan Palomo, has been earning strong critical notices since debut record Psychic Chasms hit the shelves in 2009.The band and its leader Palomo have been startlingly busy ever since, finding time to release two more albums, Mind CTRL: Psychic Chasms Possessed and 2011’s Era Extrana. Neon Indian has been credited with forming a new genre of electronic music, which has been unhelpfully labelled everything from hypnagogic pop, glo-fi and chillwave. This adventurousness saw them tapped to perform at top festivals such as South by Southwest and Bonnaroo, and opening for such highly respected bands like Massive Attack and The Flaming Lips to Phoenix. Now the busy Neon Indian has announced an exclusive release for Record Store Day, the “Hex Girlfriend” 10”, featuring the album version of the track as the A-Side and the Twin Shadow remix of the same song as the B-Side. The 10” is limited to a mere 500 copies and will only be available on April 21, which is Record Store Day. The Twin Shadow remix of the song is available to download for free and will appeal to those Twin Shadow fans waiting for the next project or Neon Indian completists. Beginning with what sounds like a church organ, the song then bounces along on distant clattering beats, complemented with synths and an eerie vocal. Worth the free download but not ground breaking. WDW

The original is instantly likeable and is bound to cause a stir on the airwaves with its stupidly catchy melody. Unlike a lot of dance tracks, Bellens’ lyrics are intriguing and make you want to listen as well as dance. This could well be the unique quality that makes it stand out from its rivals as the synth-pop dance track of 2012. The remixes each offer something entirely different so you can expect to hear Bjorke’s track, in its various incantations, in clubs and warehouses the world over. Rebolledo’s drum heavy mix is nosebleed inducingly good. Axel Boman provides a typically playful mix. Maxxi Soundsystem serve up a fun techhouse version and Till Von Sein’s breakbeat effort leaves us with something that will have all the old-skool ravers out there skanking with joy.

Clean Bandit – Local Sauce

Clean Bandit are back again with another mezmorising track. This time the collective let their London roots shine through. Entering with a hypnotic riff, the strings instantly pique your interest, before a dancey digital beat enters. Vocalists Jungle VIP begins to flow over the strings instantly bringing the tempo up and exciting the listener. Vocals from Subzy, Camilla Farrant and Eliza Shaddad all feature on this track. And with the Middle Eastern inspired wails you’re transported from the streets of London to an Arabian souk in one fell swoop. This culmination of the chromatic strings, mc-ing, ad-lips and laid back flow of vocals from Camilla Farrant really do make Local Sauce a great representational tune of what London really is... a melting pot of varying cultures.

The track is the first song to be released from his much anticipated new album, ‘Fool’ due for release, quite fittingly on April Fool’s Day. Get it? It’s Bjorke’s third studio album and is split into two quite different parts. One side, ‘Hunger’ is all about bittersweet, pop-infused love songs where as the ‘Fool’ side, is much more characteristic of the Dane with tracks of the psychedelic, spaced out disco variety. The album features a number of collaborations with some of Denmark’s most popular acts including his personal favourite band, Laid Back, Jacob Bellens (of course) and hotly tipped newcomer, Emma Acs. Lose Yourself to Jenny is a likeable track that will attract the desired levels of attention from dance floor fanatics. It provides a great intro to the upcoming album and will no doubt spark the curiosity of those unfamiliar with his work. Roll on the 1st of April… AB By William David Wilson, Sophie Berry, Amy Baker, Robin Lewis, Rob Bramhill, Fanny Frangipane, James Stapleton.

On the follow up from their previous track UK Shanty, we’re excited to see what instrumental collective Clean Bandit have in store for 2012 as they’re certainly getting off to a flying start, and working with a plethora of vocal artists, they’ve no doubt got a lot of options. Watch you’re back Zero 7, Clean Bandit are hot on your tails. FF

Kasper Bjorke feat. Jacob Bellens – Lose Yourself to Jenny

Lose Yourself to Jenny is the latest disco offering from Danish DJ and Producer, Kasper Bjorke. The single is released alongside remixes from Axel Boman, Robolledo, Maxxi Soundsystem and Till Von Stein, so no matter what type of ‘house-head’ you are – there will be a version that will get those fists pumping.

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INTERVIEWS: This month we catch up with Patrick Bodmer one half of electronic house act M.A.N.D.Y. Philipp Jung and Patrick Bodmer met as children and have since taken on the electronic music scene with their dance inducing beats. With no one truly knowing what M.A.N.D.Y stands for, Patrick and Philipp indulge the curiosity by toying with various offerings of meaning, however we doubt they have even decided what the acronym means. You may well remember the summer smash ‘Body Language’ which swept the speakers of Ibiza back in 2005 and has since become a flagship tune for the double act. Playing together and solo at the moment, we found out what’s in store for M.A.N.D.Y in 2012. There’s lots of speculation about the “real” meaning behind your name. Fancy letting us in on what it stands for? Best kept secret! How did you two meet? On a tennis court at a tournament. We were playing a double - so that was the first back to back set we ever played together. So Body Language was named ‘Ibiza Track of the season’ back in 2005. How does that make you feel? [That was a] long time ago! A hit like that makes you feel really old if you don´t come up with another one, haha! Will you be heading back to Ibiza this summer? Ware still invited to play on Ibiza. This year we will play at Sankey’s, Ushuaia, Pacha and Amnesia. What else have you got lined up for 2012? We do Brixton Academy with Leftfield and many big and smaller gigs in London - I really dig all that London scene at the moment. Then we do our residency at Watergate together and the Bermuda Festival Berlin. Vision in Japan, Cityfox parties in Switzerland. And at the end of the year we’ll be having a 10 year birthday celebration of Get Physical around the world. You’re originally from Germany. How do the UK crowds compare to the rest of Europe? They can drink more and rave harder than most others. Music wise the UK crowds, which I see - have the best taste and they are most forward thinking. We love the UK crowds! Where is your favourite place to play? La Huaka, close to Lima, Watergate Berlin and random small after hours places! To me, many of the best parties are happening in unregulated one off venues at the moment.

Living healthy. The right choice of food and sleeping as much as I can. Sports and no drugs help a lot. (I am not sponsored by your government, I swear!) So is it always go go go, or do you ever get some quiet time? No no no, I changed some things. I got married, I have a two-month old girl now, I take care of my family life. What was it that got you into DJ-ing and producing? Just the magic of techno music and techno culture itself. I fell in love when I was 17 and I wanted to get all out of it since then. A pretty naive love story so far. Your new stuff is slightly more mature and chilled than the older sound. How would you compare it? What would you say are the main differences? It´s some quiet aspects at the moment - more inhaling stuff. We have been collaborating with many friends for a while - sitting down in different studios in NYC, Berlin, Frankfurt, Los Angeles, everywhere [really] - we are in a period of trying out some things. As DJs we are sometimes super disco deep and sometimes more techno rave than ever before - I would say: everything is possible at the moment. Some exciting and interesting stuff is in the pipeline now!

M.A.N.D.Y Jason Byrne

What have been the main influences in you newer music?

From Cosmic Blues to Neo Jungle and so much other no-name stuff that is out there from young unknown producers - and freaky un-named sounds. You’re going solo in Sydney soon. Does it feel very different? Do you prefer performing as a duo?

We have been playing solo and together for about 12 years now. We both need single gigs and we need the dual performance time as well. Like a good old couple. Going it alone is more ego tripping and selfexpressionist of course, and the “band” feeling of dual gigs is something I don´t want to miss either. Philiipp and I have that magic thing together - if we are doing music, it is sometimes creating very unique and unexpected levels and if we are travelling together, we still do have this adventurous teenage vibe. What’s been you most memorable career highlight to date? Too many to mention! If you’re not doing music what do you like to do? Being with my wife and my daughter. The sweetest thing in life I ever had!

You’ve been all over the place recently and are heading to Peru, Canada, Switzerland… How do you keep your energy levels up?

Above & Beyond Above and Beyond, kings of Trance and all things Dance. “Few Trance artists have reached Above & Beyond’s stature in terms of integrity and respect,” states IDJ, and when looking at the history of this trio of massively talented musicians, A&B seem to be flying higher than ever in their 11 year Trance career. These guys have remixed artists such as Delirium to Britney and Madonna; giving the tracks their special touch that gives you goose bumps every time you tune in. When you listen to their music, you feel connected with the track and the euphoric sense the vocals give. Each song has been written to create a connection with the listener; seeing them live is an inspirational experience and one where you feel part of the music. They have played in front of crowds of millions across the world, amazing to say that the music of this group was once created within the small four walls of their university bedrooms. Voted number five in DJ Mag’s Top 100 DJ’s from across the world, there doesn’t seem to be much left for Above & Beyond to conquer, but this doesn’t seem to lessen the group’s enthusiasm. Their Australian tour is sure to be another heightened masterpiece of Trance, love and soul. We just can’t wait for more from their record label Anjunabeats, their next track release and their radio show broadcasts ‘Trance around the world’… BBM’s Frankie Salt caught up with Above & Beyond’s Paavo Siljamäki ahead of the tour to get the skinny. Hello, how are you? Where are you right now? Good evening, Good morning, how are things going in Australia? I am in London and very much looking forward to coming over to your side of the world.

Being in your industry, would you say it is pretty easy to ever avoid having to deal with winter? What is winter again? What are you listening to at the moment? Everything. If there was anyone you could collaborate with who would it be and why? Prince. Because I think we would do the next US Number 1 album together. At least for the underground. Any new releases lined up? ‘Bus Ted’ on Get Physical with remixes by Kenny Larkin and Kris Wadsworth coming out now...and more. M.A.N.D.Y Tour Dates: Fri 6th Apr 2012 - Circoloco, Melbourne Sat 7th Apr 2012 - Chinese Laundry, Sydney By Ella White & Fanny Frangipane

and enjoy writing songs. DJ’ing is just our way to get in touch with people who listen to the same kind of music. Music is ultimately making something you are happy with. And then when they go out into the big world, you realise what music does for people. How did it feel to win the BBC Radio 1 Essential Mix twice in 2004 and 2011? Yeah to get it twice is very cool. People might know us outside of the UK, so the essential mix is a cool chance for us to go into the studio and do more than just a DJ set. The essential mix is a very exciting studio experience. How did the name Above & Beyond come about? Did you ever think you would get so big as to be voted top 100 DJs by Mix Mag on more than one occasion? I think once we got started we got the feeling that we could make good music. We just needed people to hear our thing. But if you start planning that you’re going to do really well, we didn’t want to become disappointed. So we just want to be very happy with what we are doing currently. This hopefully works better! So how did the name come about? Well back in ‘99 I met Jono at university and he and I were already making electronic music. So it made sense to do this together and then we met Tony through his brother and we had all heard each others stuff. We remixed a track called ‘Home’ by Chakra, and when we finished as a trio we realised we didn’t have a name. We were in Jono’s student flat in London and we just didn’t have a name for ourselves. There was a poster from a very cheesy motivational speaker on the wall, which said ‘Above and Beyond’, and so that was it. It came from thin air but…

You’ve been creating the world’s finest Trance for over 11 years now, describe your journey in three words… Surprising and emotional and fun!

And yeah you’ve done exactly what it says on the tin. So, tell me more about your label Anjunabeats and your radio show… Yeah, Anjunabeats started as a way to release our own music and then pretty quickly our mates who produce music wanted to release too - that we really loved. We grew from there. And now we have a sister label too, Anjunadeep. We are now releasing a compilation album and both labels are doing a lot of stuff . We have over 100 artists that we work with and we work together, and we are very happy to see it grow. The radio show is released every week and it looks at what is exciting around the world. It’s become huge, like 25-30 million people listen in, and there’s also the free podcast and it’s pretty big in Australia too. It allows us to access places that didn’t really have a Trance scene.

Oh mate, I’m more than sure it is! Do you have a favourite track of your own which you love to play? At the moment, it keeps changing but ‘On My Way To Heaven’ from our last album, ‘Group Therapy.’ But this always depends. I get excited about the new stuff but then an old track comes back and so it’s always changing. It’s incredible how it comes about, today I’ve been playing piano at home with my little one-year-old boy, and I was thinking about how crazy it is how things start so small and then they grow to be something that is listened to around the world. I’m a very lucky guy to have a job like that, to be able to share that with so many people.

Your debut album was released in 2006 and ‘Tri state’ received absolutely rave reviews. DJ Mag gave the album a 5 Star review, In a word, ‘Brilliant’.” Did you therefore feel the pressure releasing Group Therapy last year? The pressure for us was for the second album after ‘Tri State.’ ‘Group Therapy’ was the second one we released under ‘Above and Beyond’ but the third one we worked on. The pressure mainly comes from the incredible tour schedule, which we try to keep going. Alongside trying to write music and then also trying to agree on everything we do. But ultimately we are so proud of how ‘Group Therapy’ has turned out and yeah it was a very high pressured situation but we are looking back and seeing how worth it, it is.

Do you think it is one of the most important things to make the crowd feel connected? You always involve the crowds and make the crowd come so alive… Yeah we never really think of ourselves as DJs as such. We are musicians

You obviously remix a lot of vocal Trance; I loved your remix of Silence, Delirium. How do you choose a track, which you know, will work as a remix? Well we always try to find a new take on the new song, which we chose. We love the remixes people do of our stuff too. It always shows a real new

How have things been since the New Year? Things have been mad. We have already done one bus tour in America and Canada and the other two are in Brazil doing the South America tour. We have been doing so many gigs and travelling to say it’s only February, and I have been getting back into the thick of it in the UK with the music writing which is very very exciting.

M.A.N.D.Y

side to a song. We always feel very lucky when doing the remixes as it gives you a chance to look at other aspects of a tune, not just the vocals for instance. It’s really fun to concentrate on the other parts. We are just doing a remix of Kaskade. So you have the big Australia tour coming up soon, how are you feeling about Creamfields? What else can we expect from you this year? Yeah I have heard such great things about Australia. Tony was the only one who made it over last time. But this time we have the big stage, the big audience and I cannot wait! This year is going to be a big year for the UK tour too. Yeah I cannot wait to see you smash it at Creamfields. Keep making the music, you guys are incredible. Aww thanks so much Frankie. Cheers Paavo.

Above & Beyond Tour Dates: Sat, 28 Apr 2012 Creamfields 2012 at Melbourne Showgrounds / Melbourne, Australia Sun, 29 Apr 2012 Creamfields 2012 at Entertainment Quarter / Sydney, Australia Sat, 05 May 2012 Creamfields 2012 at Supreme Court Gardens / Perth, Australia Sun, 06 May 2012 Creamfields 2012Parklands Showgrounds Gold Coast/ Brisbane, Australia

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INTERVIEWS: Alabama 3 The freewheeling, all singing, all preaching musical movement known as Alabama 3 have, over their incredible multi-decade spanning history, successfully carved an important niche in the musical tapestry of both the US and UK consciousness. Formed from the ashes of a 90s acid house party, Brixton boys Jack Black (a.k.a The Reverend Dr. D. Wayne Love) and Rob Spragg (a.k.a Larry Love) formed with an intention to marry the unlikely bedfellows of country music and acid house. Initially dismissed as a novelty act (they did start life under the name ‘First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine’ to be fair), the group switched names to Alabama 3, releasing their debut album ‘Exile’ on Coldharbour Lane shortly afterwards. A series of albums, adored by critics and fans alike, saw the group grow in prominence, the pinnacle of which saw their track ‘Woke Up This Morning’ chosen as the theme tune to a little known Mafia based drama called ‘The Sopranos.’ Despite the name ‘Alabama 3’, the band consists of no less than seven members, who together imaginatively meld American sensibilities with their Brixton heritage to provide us with a taste of ‘Deep South’ London. Keeping one foot in the absurd and the other firmly planted in originality, their music is dance music brewed in a whisky barrel, and all the better for it. BBM’s James Stapleton catches up with Larry Love himself to gain a little more insight into the crazy world of Alabama 3. Would you say that doing the Soprano’s theme tune really put Alabama 3 on the map? Unless extra terrestrials made up the map that is rock n roll....we’ve never been on the map because we are beyond navigation. Fortunately it allows us to have meaningful conversations with moody lookin’ fellas at 4am.

Would you say any particular member of Alabama 3’s ideas shine through as the main sound? No because we all worship Elvis Presley and are members of the Presleyterian Church of the Divine. We always refer to Elvis for guidance in those matters. Does anyone in particular clash within the group? Everyone clashes with each other and we celebrate musical differences. That’s the only way you find harmonies.

Are you looking forward to heading to New Zealand and Australia soon? Of course we are! Do you think you’ll get much time for sightseeing whilst you’re there? The poet Dylan Thomas once said “You learn more about a city, sitting in the corner of a bar at 3pm than sightseeing”...so we will find some corners of bars!

So how did you all come together and when did it start?

What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened whilst you’ve been on the road?

We originally started as an acid house collective in ‘97/’98.

We’re crazy ALL of the time!

We were never very good at maths or geography... as a Welsh man I had no truck with the limited perimeters of Brit Pop. Living in the multicultural community of Brixton, we have never been confined to a genre. We are an homage to the Angola 3, the Birmingham 6 and anyone from the Miscarriages of Justice Organisation (MOJO).

Alabama 3 have been from highs to lows, what would you say is the highest point of your success?

Who’s inspiring you at the moment?

Being blessed with a studio in Brixton in the heart of the London Riots- a safe haven for all those lost and lonely souls who liberated new pairs of trainers.

Civil wars, Bonnie Prince Billy, Miss Elaineous, IDK Soundsystem and Greg Fleming aka The Wizard (who is the studio recording engineer in Brixton Jamm, our venue in South London).

What’s the significance of the number 3?

...and what has been the lowest?

Do you listen to a lot of new music?

As De La Soul said...3 is the magic number.

Having a studio in Brixton in the heart of the London riots and not having any brand new trainers for ourselves...we were too busy to riot.

Yes...too fucking much!

How did you come up with the name Alabama 3, when you’re from Brixton and there are actually quite a few of you?

Because there are quite a few of you, would you say you suffer from creative differences on a regular basis? A band that fights each other is a band that stays together. On our rider is a boxing ring with no referee.

There’s quite a JJ Cale feel to your sound at times, what were some of your influences on your latest stuff? 4am post dubstep clubland and Hank Williams singing gospel songs at 7.35am.

STEREO MCs

It was a totally unknown territory. We were just feeling it out, it was all experimentation, and it was great time for us.

Once upon a time they were one of the biggest brands in Britain, known for their inability to be pinned down by the constraints and genres of the music industry. They laid their own path amongst it all, stirring up crowds and spreading an infectious vibe along the way. Alexandra MacLeod talks to Rob Birch, one half of Britain’s first global rap group, Stereo MC’s.

You’re album ‘Connected’ became a mainstream success, you won Brit Awards and were credited as Britain’s first global rap stars, how did it feel to be recognised for your music on a worldwide scale?

Your music career has spanned nearly 3 decades, how did it all begin? Yeah I was just a kid you know, when I got bitten by the bug to do music. I got a guitar for my birthday, and I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with it to start with it, I just thought even if I didn’t like it I could hang it on my bedroom wall and it would look pretty cool! But it turned out I really enjoyed learning to play it. When did you meet Nick, and what was it that kick started the notion of Stereo MC’s? He’s been my mate since I was just a boy, he lived on the same street as me, but he moved into London before I did, so I wasn’t really hanging out with him. I ended up sharing a flat with him after I left college and moved to London and we started just making tracks together. We were really just having a laugh, just messing about with music, and so made a couple of tunes and they sounded pretty good. So we decided to make a record, and start up our own music label called Gee Street. Why do you think the music industry still struggles to define what genre Stereo MC’s belong to? Where did you draw inspiration to create such a unique blend of sounds? Music is quite pigeonholed, there are a lot of different categories, and we didn’t really fit into any of them. Our influences were quite widespread, we had our own sort of sound, and we always felt we had quite an original sound, which is an important thing to have when you’re making music. We started out really just rapping, a lot of people were just trying to sound American, but what we wanted to do was sound original. That was our main ideology. Whatever we do, even if people think its rubbish, at least we’ll be original. That was and still is an important thing for us, to find our own place. So where did you draw inspiration from to create such a unique blend of sounds that gave you this original identity? When we were stating out, Nick was getting a lot of early rap tapes sent to him from New York, and he listened to electro music and early European electro, and I really got into it. I think it was the inspiration of that early electronic and rap music that inspired us to start making the music we made. We didn’t really know how people made it, but it made us want to forget everything we already knew about music and start afresh.

Is there anyone you would recommend we should be listening to? Your grandfather’s record collection. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be and why? The Mormon Tabernacle Choir, hopefully then we’d be fast tracked to the Promised Land. By James Stapleton

We we’re never really a straight up rap group to be honest with you, and ‘Connected’ was never a straight up rap tune, I think we we’re a mutation, so to speak. If you put us in front of a pure rap crowd, I think a lot of people wouldn’t have taken to us. The kind of crowds we drew were the more open minded rap followers, and also people who followed indie music, rock music, club music, you know, dance music, basically you could dance to our music. It wasn’t purely rap music, but it wasn’t purely any other sort of music. I think people just put titles to what you do to try and understand it, but like I say, at the end of the day you’re doing what you do and your lucky enough to be in that situation. We were very fortunate to be honest, to be making music then, and we just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Music’s sort of in the air for anyone whose open to it I think. What is it about your music that you think your audience connected too (pardon the pun)? I think it was more of an energy that people responded to, we tried to write positive lyrics in our tunes, and these people got off on that I think. We had a positive energy, and they only had to come and see us play live to see that we thrived on the energy that is accumulated when you get a crowd going. That’s still our ethos, we like to feel an energy with the crowd, and we like to talk to the crowd and get them involved in what we’re doing. It’s an important part of what we did, we weren’t one of those faceless dance crews, or a disposable singer, or a bunch of producers that had a different singer on each track; we were a proper band. We had the same individuals playing on each album. That gave us an identity, which is something a lot of the club dudes didn’t have. We were like a band in the same way The Clash was a band, the same way The Sex Pistols were a band. What do you think about your most recent album, The Emperor’s Nightingale, that you brought out in August 2011? Again it’s a sort of mutation, we’re feeling the European UK sounds, all the bass music, the grime, and the dubstep, and we wanted to infuse our record with some of these influences, but at the same time we wanted to change the method we made our music with. Normally we would just make loads of backing tracks and then get vocal ideas for them, but this time round we changed the concept and we just jammed with people in the studio. It was a much more spontaneous record, and you know, it’s nice just vibing with people, whether we actually make a track with each other or not you just energise each other, it’s good to hang out with like-minded musicians every now and again. By Alexandra MacLeod

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INTERVIEWS: P e t e r Hook Peter Hook, legendary musician and author has a chat with BBM’s Frankie Salt about all things Joy Division, New Order, along with his upcoming book release & tour, which is set to be a banger! Born in 1956, Hooky knows everything you need to know about the British music movement over the past half a century. After the success of his first world tour of the Joy Division album ‘Unknown Pleasures’, he returns to perform their second album ‘Closer’ in sequential order to tell and celebrate the story of Joy Division to the world. So are you in the UK right now? No love, I’m actually in Bratislava at the moment. Sorry if I sound a little slow I’ve just woken up but do not worry, there’s nothing I love more than talking about something that happened 34 years ago! So after your 2010 ‘Unknown Pleasures’ 30th Anniversary Tour, you return with your band The Light, to play the classic album ‘Closer’. How do you feel about the upcoming tour? It was quite weird actually; I had only played like four times before I got asked to go to Australia, but when we got there the reception was great, when New Order split, I was at a split. I was DJ-ing, which is amazing but you know my real love was to get back in a band. So doing this saved my life in a way, it gave me the route to get back to my passion. Do you feel that this tour will bring about a different kind of emotion to the tour of ‘Unknown Pleasures’? Do you have a preference of one album over the other? Yeah love, the strange thing is, considering the albums were only made a year apart, they are very different. ‘Closer’, lyrically, is the story of Ian’s deteriation of health and mental wellbeing, but apart from that its one long party - that sounds terrible doesn’t it? Compared to ‘Pleasures’ it’s more mellow, melodic and fragile, but the thing is it’s more difficult to play to an audience but the reward is better. The Light, my group, for us all to transcribe and learn it is tricky as it is a lot less rocky than the first. You can hide behind ‘Unknown Pleasures’ as it’s so in your face and confident but ‘Closer’ is definitely a lot shyer, but the relief when you get it right is outstanding. Why do you think it is so important to play the album in sequential order? Well when I came back to do this musically, I guess you’re kind of straying into tribute band territory if you just start playing the sets. This is one of the things, which confuses me about the New Order reformation. They go and do exactly the same thing as what I was doing with the Joy Division tour, but I got slated at the beginning for what I was doing by the other members who were really quite vocal about my tour. I don’t want to be a tribute. I want to be arty and play the LP from the start to tell the honest story. Joy Division lived only for two and a half years from start to finish, but it’s the music, which lives on and rules all these years later. Like last night for example, we played in front of 1000 people and I looked and three quarters of the crowd weren’t even alive when Joy Division were. I believe that this is mainly down to what Martin Hannett did for the band. It was only when I came to transcribe the LP for the thirtieth year celebration that I realized how much he did for the band. I was very critical before this. Back in the day I just wanted to sound like The Sex Pistols, the Clash and I wanted to rip your head off! Martin gave it something so wonderful and made it timeless.

So you believe that the music world would be a better place if there were more people like Martin Hannett to produce? Well it’s interesting as he was so good at what he did with an old fashioned concept. It’s just a shame now that everyone has a recording studio in their computer or phone, but with this you’re not a master. Martin was fantastic at what he did. His sound mixed with Joy Divisions music. He taught us a lot. It had been so long since I had played the Joy Division music I ignored since 1980 and whilst in New Order, this felt ok but then when I came out of New Order after the split, this gave me the strength to celebrate Joy Division and it’s music. Well I’m so glad you made that decision… Well Macclesfield never celebrated their most famous son, you know. Ian is a legend. They never acknowledged him, I think you can go to the crematorium to see where he’s buried and that’s it. So when they decided to celebrate him and have Manchester bands to play Joy Division songs, I was over the moon but then this fell through. They asked us to help and I suggested that I pay but it fell by the waste side and I was really annoyed. We never celebrated 25, 20, 15, 10 or 5 years, but I was determined to celebrate the work of Joy Division. However, I never thought I would get further than your house in Chesterfield and so for Australia to ask us to play was so great. So how do you feel about the rave culture now? Yeah kids today still want that bit of hedonism and want to relive that time. That’s why the Stone Roses are selling out. Everyone is looking to be part of the resurrection and the explosion, and this hasn’t done any harm has it? I believe you can see Mani’s wallet from the moon [laughing]. Why do you think ‘Factory records’ and the club went under even though they were such a huge success? Well they changed the world of clubbing. Manchester was the best place in the World. But I know exactly why it went bankrupt. We didn’t have a clue how to run a club as a business because that just seemed dull. We needed someone to be the sober one at the end who counts up and makes sure that the money is going where it needs to. That just didn’t happen. We were too busy shouting “COME ON MANCHESTER” off our heads and loving every fucking minute of it. There aren’t many bands that have entertained a whole city for as long as we did You’ve obviously inspired so many people, is there an artist who inspires you in the current music world? I’m a fan of artists like Tinie Tempah and Dizzee Rascal. They create such great singles, not so much LPs but that’s not the fashion nowadays. Artists like Ed Sheeran have such a wonderful way with music too, and yeah, we inspired people and people inspired us too. I actually used to spend a lot of my time in Leeds when I fancied a break, with Back to Basics. Now, that’s a place. So what’s coming up for the rest of the year? The book release and we have the 30th anniversary CD and night in May coming up. The rest of the tour to look forward to which of course is the best day job, which pays me to do the crazy stuff with the Hacienda. And if we don’t celebrate the 30th I might look a bit daft at the age of 66 celebrating the 40th or the 60th with my zimmer! I got a call from a young lad the other day that told me he had done a model of the Hacienda and let me tell you, it’s like the real thing. When you look in it you can’t believe the detail he has done it in and you just want to dive in it and dance your head off. So that’s going to be the centerpiece of the event and we are going to do an exhibition. It’s going to go with a bang!

Peter Hook & The Light Postpone Australian Tour Metropolis Touring regretfully announces that Peter Hook And The Light have been forced to postpone their upcoming dates across Australia in April 2012 due to production circumstances which were beyond their control. Peter Hook And The Light would like to apologise for the inconvenience and disappointment to fans who have purchased tickets and are hopeful that the dates are to be rescheduled for late 2012 or early 2013. The band would like to thank their fans for their continued support and look forward to having the opportunity to play in Australia again soon. Ticket refunds will be available from all ticketing outlets. For more information contact Metropolis Touring www.metropolistouring.com

By Frankie Salt

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FUNNY NEWS They have installed a generator for back-up power, hoarded a two-month food supply, they keep ten chickens for a constant supply of eggs and have cultivated a 150ft vegetable patch in the garden. “Lots of people are going to die. The Government and the super-rich know this is going to happen and they are prepared. That leaves the rest of us to fend for ourselves,” added Larry in true bonkers style.

and underwriting taxes would have been a pretty shit job. It’s also not particularly great if you want to impress the ladies. Flechner said it was enough to make St Paddy emigrate. “It is likely that, at least for a while, he (Patrick) held an imperial office. One way or another, I think this would have been the catalyst for him leaving for Ireland.” Question marks were first raised over St Paddy Power’s account because of the section where he describes his escape from slavery in Ireland. “Once you escaped from slavery you lacked any legal status and anyone could imprison you and kill you, and this conflicts with what he said - that he broke loose, crossed Ireland and then the Irish Sea to get back to Britain,” he explained. The bit where St Patrick talks about shagging all of Girls Aloud is also under scrutiny.

A Cornish Patsy

Living in the middle of Kings Cross, BBM comes across our fair share of mentalists. Whether they’re mumbling incoherently about demons and smelling of B.O., or stumbling drunkenly in front of a moving car whilst yelling about “John Howard’s faaaackin super trains!” we’ve all laughed at their crazy theories. Louis Theroux even built a career out of it. Now meet Larry Peters. On the face of it he seems normal enough. The 42-year-old is a computer repairman with a wife, two kids and a nice house in Cornwall. But in actual fact, Peters is a bloody freak who thinks the world’s technology is about to be destroyed by a giant solar flare, which will knock out communications, energy and food supplies and result in worldwide anarchy. Over the last few months he’s spent £10,000 on a 4x4 in case they need to flee, £1,200 on guns and ammo, and filled giant tanks with water to build up a 700-gallon reserve. He’s also taught his family, including nine-yearold daughter Lily, how to hunt and gut animals. Not that ‘hunting’ animals in Cornwall strikes us as particularly difficult - how hard can it be to track a field of sheep? “I’m ready for it. In a way I want it to happen,” Larry frothed. “Solar flares are from the sun ― energy particles sent towards the Earth. These flares have the ability to disrupt human technology such as radar, radio, mobile phones, the internet ― everything modern society depends on to keep running.” The madness doesn’t stop there. Larry has also kitted out his family’s threebed terrace to cope with every eventuality.

St Patrick Went Roman Around

We’re not exactly history buffs here at BBM, but everyone knows St Patrick became the patron saint of Ireland after inventing Guinness. It’s common knowledge.But new research suggests he might not have been the tam o’shanter wearing drunken leprechaun he’s so often described as by Jesus in The Bible. Apparently, St Paddy could well have been a tax collector for the Romans who fled to Ireland after trading slaves to pay his way. Roy Flechner, from Cambridge Uni, believes there are grounds to question the popular version, which is partly based on Patrick’s own words in his “Confessio”. So the bit where he talks about having a 10-inch cock probably isn’t true either. “The problem with this account is that he was telling this story in response to accusations leveled against him that he fled to Ireland for financial gain,” Flechner boffined. “It’s an inference that has been made long before in conventional scholarship.” At a time when the Roman government in Britain was in decline, collecting

It’s Marmageddon

Post-apocalyptic scenes of Mad Max-style anarchy descended on New Zealand last month when it was revealed that stocks of Marmite were running dangerously low, sparking panic-buying across the country. Apparently the taste-deprived Kiwis are mad for the stuff, getting through 640 tonnes of the turd-coloured paste every year, and jars flew off the shelves as fans began hoarding the horrible goo. Stores reported they were about to run out of the poo-tasting spread within days. One chancer attempted to cash in on the situation by putting a jar up for sale on an online auction site, with the bidding starting at £2,000. In Auckland,

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FUNNY NEWS Tina Turner has built a makeshift gladiatorial arena and is encouraging men to fight to the death for some of her personal stock.

He was stuck for four hours, unable to move or get help, until his wife finally arrived home and called for the emergency services. During the wait for the ambulance, she passed the time by nagging him for not doing the dishes.

“I can confirm there was a rush on Marmite yesterday,” said a spokeswoman for grocery chain Foodstuffs. “Clearly Kiwis took the news of the impending shortage very seriously.” Another food chain company added: “We anticipate running out of stock of Marmite in the next two to three weeks across all our stores, and unfortunately we have no control of the situation.” Already there have been sightings of gangs of vicious road warriors clad in S&M gear and sporting crude weapons fighting over the natural resource on the nation’s roads. Marmite manufacturers in New Zealand said they would dispatch the last remaining supplies of the product as soon as possible after its factories were destroyed in last year’s earthquakes in Christchurch. It is understood Mel Gibson will personally deliver the cargo by driving a large modified truck through a blockade of thugs riding custom-built buggies outside the factory gate.

The Drink Talking

We all laugh at people with stutters, it’s as natural as bullying a ginger at school or whispering ‘who ate all the pies?’ when someone fat walks past. But even these freaks of nature have the right to be served in pubs. Unfortunately, staff at a pub in Newport thought teetotaller Tony Woodsford was pissed out of his face because of his slurred speech and refused to give him a coffee. In fact, he just has a bad stammer. “I have never felt so embarrassed in my life. It’s the first time in my life I have been turned down for breakfasts - and to make matters worse, I don’t even drink,” stuttered Tony. It was only after Tony’s pal stepped in and backed up his story that the manager backed down. Half an hour later, Tony finally managed to finish the sentence “no sugar please” and the order was placed.

Not So Handyman

We always thought the worst thing about DIY was the trip round Ikea. Oh how wrong we were.  Shropshire handyman Alan Williams took ineptitude to new heights last month after accidentally bolting his hand to the floor. The 46-year-old was at his home in Market Drayton, Shropshire, when he slipped at the top of the stairs and accidentally fired a five-inch nail through his left hand. “The fire chief said he hadn’t seen anything like it in 40 years, I ended up having to go to hospital with a floorboard attached to my hand,” said Williams.  “When I got to hospital the doctors weren’t sure if they should push or pull it out, I had to go into theatre for an hour for them to remove the nail.”

Batman Gets Pulled Over Chaplin’s Brum Deal

No wonder Charlie Chaplin made a career out of being silent - he was a feckin’ Brummie! A letter Chaplin kept hidden in a locked draw for decades could finally solve the mystery of where the shit silent film pioneer was born. The document was sent by Jack Hill, who lived in Tamworth, and was only discovered in 1991 after the star’s daughter inherited the desk it was concealed in.  In the letter, Hill told Chaplin he had been born in a caravan, in a gypsy community in Smethwick, West Midlands, which was ruled by a gypsy queen. Researcher Edward Ellis suggested Chaplin may have decided to lock the letter away, not wanting the world to know of his gypsy blood.  “I think that there has always been a stigma towards gypsies,” he said.  “He may not have wanted people to know that he had a gypsy background.” This also explains Chaplin’s habit of dumping plastic bags filled with his own faeces over his neighbour’s fence.

I don’t know, you try and do something nice and the law just kick you for it! Batman was recently pulled over in his black Lamborghini whilst on his way to visit some sick children in hospital. Batman, a.k.a. Lenny B. Robson from Montgomery, Maryland, was pulled over for not having the appropriate license plates, however he was able to produce them upon request. A police officer at the incident explained, “Batman was stopped by Montgomery County officers on Wednesday, March 21, on southbound Route 29 at Prelude Drive, Silver Spring, for no tags on Batmobile.” The police then posted images of the incident on their Facebook and got shit loads of likes. For some reason American Police are allowed to post images of crime on their Facebooks of course?! Basically we’re glad this has happened as it settles the debate that took place in the BBM Offices yesterday as to who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman...clearly Superman - you don’t see him getting done by the police now do ya!

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SPORT Chas And Dave Spur On Redknapp Charles and Eddie... Robson and Jerome... Jedward... The list of great musical double acts that have enriched our lives with their superb songwriting talents runs on and on. But by far the best of the bunch, better even than those two from Steps who tried it as a duo, are Chas and Dave. When the Cockney songsters aren’t “dahn the pab” tinkling the ivories with classic singles like ‘Gertcha’, ‘Rabbit’ and ‘Snooker Loopy’, they’re famously cheering on their beloved Spurs at White Hart Lane. And now, in a move so Cockney you could dress it up as a Pearly Queen and feed it jellied eels on a day trip to Margate, the London double act have written a song begging ‘Arry Redknapp to stay at the club. Redknapp remains red-hot favourite to become the next permanent England boss following the resignation of Fabio Capello, but Spurs fans are terrified of losing the manager who took them from the Premier League shit heap to the Champions League using little more than the vast bank account of chairman Daniel Levy. And Chas ‘n’ Dave hope their song ‘Harry don’t go’ will help persuade the wheeler-dealer boss to turn his back on his country. We’ve not yet had a chance to hear their Redknapp song, but it reportedly consists mainly of the duo repeating the words “Harry don’t go, Harry don’t go, Harry, Harry, Harry don’t go”. Only time will tell how long it stays at No.1, but Redknapp would have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by such heartfelt lyrics.

And You Thought Millwall Fans Were Bad... Not since almighty Zeus, king of the Gods, descended from Mount Olympus to crush those pesky Titans has Athens seen as much carnage as it did during last month’s Athens derby. For if watching Hercules: The Legendary Journeys in the middle of the afternoon every day for three years at University taught BBM anything (other than a Pub Quiz-level knowledge of ancient mythology) it’s that the Greeks love a good punch up. And with the country’s economy floating down the river Styx, it was perhaps inevitable that last month’s match between Panathinaikos and Olympiakos would prove just the spark that a restless, moneyless Athens public needed to vent their rage.

Another dubious incident at the Chelsea training ground occurred late last year when a knife was discovered by cleaning staff in a dressing room at the complex, although this was thought to have belonged to a building contractor on the site.

Brilliantly, the bitchy badminton stars are at each other’s throats now and have even taken the row online. Glaswegian Bankier kicked things off by blasting English players following the national championships, saying in a Tweet that they “couldn’t serve”.

And just two weeks ago, Didier Drogba dressed up like a Voodoo priest and ritually slaughtered 12 virgins and a goat in the centre circle at Stamford Bridge before a European match against Napoli in a bid to invoke the aid of the Dark One. As Chelsea went on to the win the match, his one-week fine was overturned. “You can’t kill what cannot be kilt!” yelled Drogba in white face paint before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

White hit back, calling her “sour” for making the comment, while English pal and teammate Jenny Wallwork also weighed in calling Bankier a “cripple” and telling her to “jog on back to Scotland.” Saucer of milk anyone? Meow! Of course, if Adcock has any sense he’ll defuse the situation by making the two girls have a “lez off” to resolve the issue. Whoever wins gets the chance to play with his shuttlecock. “Gabby is obviously devastated that she’s not doing as well as Imogen,” an ‘insider’ told the Daily Mail. “Imogen has just got that little bit more experience than Gabby at the top level.”

Ref Flogged For Flag Call

Has she got any lesbian experience though? The balls (or lack of) are in your court ladies.

No one likes referees at the best of times, but a top-flight official in Argentina was about as popular as a Robbie Savage BBC podcast last month following his actions on and off the pitch in a Primera Division clash between San Lorenzo and Colon in Buenos Aires. First, he awarded a goal after all the players had stopped for an offside flag, then he taunted the team’s fans after the match. Fortunately, he stopped short of doing a big poo on a picture of Lionel Messi while surrendering the Falklands to the British.

UFC

Jon Jones Vs Rashad Evans MMA

Colon were looking for an equaliser with just over 20 minutes left, but their latest attack seemed to fizzle out when winger Federico Higuain was flagged for offside on the wing. With the linesman’s flag raised, the players stopped and walked upfield for an expected free-kick. But Higuain had already crossed before he realised this - and Colon striker Ariel Garce tapped the incoming ball home without any hope it would be awarded as a goal. The referee, Diego Abal, saw things differently, however, and did not blow up - then pointed to the centre spot to indicate Garce’s strike would stand. It was enough to earn Colon a 1-1 draw. San Lorenzo’s fans tried to attack the controversial official after the match as police escorted him home. And as he got into the police car, Abal was seen making “inppropriate gestures” - namely a thumbs-down sign - to fans, players and officials, sparking further fury. “We are verifying this with the use of video. He apparently did it as he was getting in the vehicle,” club president Carlos Abdo confirmed. “The minimum that we will request is for Abal to be stopped from officiating.” It’s understood the English FA have already offered Abal a post as head of the referee’s association on the back of his clownish performance.

Dunne Deal With The Yanks

In the immortal words of another Greek God, Ron Burgundy, “it went up a notch.” Three fire trucks were called in to extinguish flames as unruly Panathinaikos fans set several sections of the stands on fire. The start of the second half was delayed by 45 minutes as fans pelted police with flares, molotovs and missiles and was subsequently abandoned altogether with nine minutes remaining with Olympiacos 1-0 ahead. Several petrol bombs exploded close to the pitch, prompting referee Anastasio Kakos to end the match prematurely and pull the players off the field.

When Jon Jones burst onto the MMA scene and began an incredible run – which saw him claim the UFC light heavyweight title and a string of victories over names such as Mauricio ‘Shogun’ Rua, Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson, and Lyoto Machida – the U.S. MMA media could barely contain their erections.

Panathinaikos captain Kostas Katsouranis said Greek football had been shamed. “That was not football,” Katsouranis said. “Certainly it’s one of the worst moments in Greek football and I don’t even want to comment on the game.” Twenty police officers were injured and over 50 arrests were made, while 10 molotov cocktails, sticks, firecrackers and two knives were confiscated by the authorities, police said. It has not been reported how many plates were smashed, but early estimates put the figure in millions.

No Smoke Without Fired He may be out with a mashed collarbone right now, but spud-headed Irishman Richard Dunne is doing everything he can to be fit for Euro 2012. Unfortunately, he’s not resorted to some much-needed plastic surgery yet, but he has turned to American football club the Cleveland Browns and is flying to Ohio for a week to get their advice. Next time you see Dunne on the pitch, expect him to be wearing a bright shiny helmet, huge shoulder pads and shouting ‘hut hut!’ every time some takes a throw in. “Because of the nature of American football, the Browns have a lot of experience in dealing with the kind of injury I suffered, so any help that I can get will be much appreciated,” Dunne blathered. “It will be a great experience also and a change of scenery for a week or so, which is also important. “It’s good to just change the environment and I’m looking forward to it. I think it will be a good week. I don’t know the specifics of what I’ll be doing there but it won’t be a million miles away from what we do here.” Dunne was originally ruled out for eight weeks - but is hoping the trip to the States can speed up his recovery. But unless the Yanks have come up with a cure for being old and past it, we doubt Dunne’s career is about to relaunch itself. “For anyone whose job is being outdoors, running around and doing constant activity, it’s a very frustrating injury,” he added. “You can’t do anything. I’ve been sat around doing nothing.” Whether it’s Mario Ballotelli throwing darts at youth team players or Ashley Cole shooting a work experience student with an air rifle, those crazy Premier League stars just can’t get enough of practical jokes that could seriously injure another less-well-paid human being. Usually such casual maimings only warrant a slap on the wrist from their clubs but, unfortunately for Chelsea midfielder Jacob Mellis, he’s not considered famous enough to be let off the hook after setting off a smoke grenade in the club’s Cobham training ground. Fire fighters were called to the incident and the area had to be evacuated for several hours. Even worse, the smoke really messed up Fernando Torres’ hair. Mellis, 21, was released by Chelsea after a “full and thorough” investigation into the incident, which took place last month. Mellis joined Chelsea from Sheffield United five years ago and made his debut in the Champions League win against Zilina in November 2010. Team-mate Billy Clifford, 19, admitted bringing in the grenade and was fined.

Chin up Dunne, it sounds like excellent preparation for a job at the FA.

Court Between Two Lovers

The Olympics are just around the corner (literally so for people in London) so we thought we’d take a peek at the fierce fight for places in the British badminton doubles squad. Why badminton, you ask? Because apparently, the British mixed doubles have threesomes. Phwoar! Well sort of. Olympic hopeful Chris Adcock has found himself in a kind of shuttlecock sandwich after dumping his usual doubles partner (and girlfriend) Gabby White to team up with her arch-rival Imogen Bankier. Adcock and Bankier are now hot favourites to grab Britain’s Olympic qualification spot, while White will have to do with watching the Games on TV.

Such was the outpouring of unbridled love towards Jones that his incredible ability didn’t provide enough ammunition for sportswriters to gush over; for example, the famous story of Jones tackling a mugger before his fight with Rua. It doesn’t matter that reports at the time said Jones merely ran after the mugger for a bit before his trainers yelled at him to stop and let them take over in case he hurt himself – it’s now become Jones ran down a mugger, tackled him, and held him down until the police arrived. You can bet in a few years time that the story will have evolved into Jones stopping an armed robbery, getting shot 10 times and still taking down the robber, before going on to beat Rua despite being near death. A true American hero! Unless Jones announces a fondness for Osama Bin Laden, or support for President Obama’s healthcare plans, it’s difficult to imagine this star falling in the eyes of the media. However, if there’s one good thing to come out of this annoying little tosser’s rise it’s that it’s pissed Rashad Evans off so much. Now, we know Rashad Evans is a moron with a ludicrously high opinion of himself, but this idiot really believes that Jon Jones should never have taken the offer of a title shot against Rua out of respect for him. Evans was due to face Rua at UFC 128, but after Evans had to withdraw through injury, Jones was offered the slot following his victory over Ryan Bader. Apparently there was some agreement between the two that they wouldn’t face each other in the octagon because they were teammates, friends, brothers… or whatever. The case appears to be that Jones would’ve preferred not to have to face Evans, but Evans believed that Jones should be his bitch, follow him around like a fan with an adoring sparkly-eyed gaze, and certainly in no way do anything in his career that jeopardises Evans’s own career path. Whether you believe there was an agreement between the two or not, you have to admit that it’s pretty unlikely in a sport as macho and competitive as MMA that ANYBODY would agree to hold back their own career so that someone else could benefit – especially someone as cocky and vain as Jon Jones. But anyway, on April 21st at UFC 145 they finally face each other (thus kind of proving that Evans side of the agreement was an attempt to keep Jones away from the title rather than not wanting to face his friend, but oh well). Evans claims that he knows Jones’s game inside and out thanks to years as training partners – but shouldn’t that apply to Jones too? It’s also difficult to not think of how dominant Jones has been this past year, so to see him plough right through Evans wouldn’t be surprising at all. We’re going to go with a Jon Jones victory by TKO in the 3rd round. If we can be serious for a minute please, it really is a great match-up between two superb fighters, and showcases again, an area where MMA has the edge over boxing: the best fight the best. It’s a difficult fight to pick and there’s certainly no shame in either man losing to the other. Ok, back to normal. They’re arrogant dickheads and we wish they could both lose. By Peter Simpson

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CRYSTAL BALLS Leo

It’s another month without a shag for you. Only three more for the world record. You can do it! Especially with a face like that. Now bugger off, you’re putting me off my lamb korma.

Capricorn

This week you pull a woman who looks just like Charlize Theron. Unfortunately, it’s Charlize Theron as she looks in the film Monster. Yikes! Naturally, you only tell your friends the first half of this information.

Aries

Our resident psychic, Crystal, tells you your fortune for the month...

Cancer

On Saturday night, you meet your friend, Doc Brown, at a deserted shopping mall where he reveals a time machine he’s made from a modified DeLorean and stolen plutonium. Before Doc can make his first trip, the Libyan terrorists from whom he stole the plutonium shoot him dead. As you attempt to escape in the DeLorean, you inadvertently activate the time machine and prepare to go back to the future! Unfortunately, Doc Brown wasn’t really a doctor, he was a senile old man with a Western fixation. The ‘time machine’ only succeeds in giving you radiation burns. You die of cancer five years later.

Taurus

Good news. Tired of the old backpacker routes, you decide to search for somewhere no one’s ever been before. As luck would have it, you accidentally discover the ancient lost cities of gold built by the Aztecs before the conquistadors arrived. They were in Surry Hills all along! Well done.

Your needlessly thrifty ways were bound to catch up with you eventually. There was a reason that mince meat from Coles was reduced by 80 per cent. Letting it sit on your kitchen worktop for a week after its sell by date wasn’t a great idea either. Ever seen a rectal prolapse? Get a mirror and you’ll get a glimpse very soon.

Libra

Bad news friend. Tragedy strikes when you wake up one morning to find you have the hair of Queen guitarist Brian May. Brianmayhairitus is a medical condition that afflicts one in every 1000 people. Doctors are still baffled by the cause, but recent research suggests prolonged exposure to late-80s poodle rock is a contributing factor. You remember that night in March when you’re friends thought it would be ‘ironic’ to listen to Whitesnake? You knew it wasn’t right; your parents had warned you about the dangers of listening to Poison and Bon Jovi, but you gave into peer pressure anyway. Now, sadly, every morning when you look in the mirror, you’ll see a curly, black mane of greasy hair staring back at you. Even people with mullets look better than you.

Sagittarius

Virgo

That Macgyver. What a guy!

Pisces

Remember last month when we predicted the incident with Ronan Keating? We said you’d kill him by ramming an eight-inch dildo up his arse. Remember? Well it was a false alarm. Even your old friend Aunt Crystal gets it wrong from time to time. Turns out it was the actor who plays Ken Barlow in Coronation Street instead. Even the police aren’t interested in him.

Gemini

Have you noticed how the twins of Gemini always look like they’re pashing each other. Bit weird innit? Well it turns out your dad was a keen invester in the sperm bank before he met your mother. What’s this got to do with anything you may ask? Well, this week you meet the girl of your dreams. She’s a little bit younger than you, but you’re so similar in every other way you fall instantly in love. It’s 10 years later, after you’re marriage produces a third baby with 14 fingers and webbed feet, that you discover she’s your half sister from one of daddy’s deposits. You dirty, dirty bastard. Go back to Norfolk you freak!

Scorpio

Feeling inspired after watching The Artist, you decide to go the whole month using only facial expressions and hand gestures to communicate. This makes things awkward when you go to the doctor’s and try to explain to the receptionist there’s been blood in your urine. All she sees is a bloke winking a lot and nodding at his exposed penis. We’re sure the eight months in prison for indecent exposure will just fly by.

Aquarius

Is this burning an eternal flame? Find out the answer in next month’s Crystal Balls!

I can’t be arsed doing your horoscope this month. There’s a really good episode of Macgyver on. I’m gonna watch that instead.

ASK CRYSTAL -Dear Crystal, Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been fascinated by gorillas. There is something magical and exciting about these magnificent beasts, and I find their immense power combined with such great gentleness deeply erotic. In short, I wish to have sex with one of these gorgeous creatures, but I have no idea how to go about it. What should I do? Yours, Jessica Dear Jessica, You really like to get your freak on don’t you girl? Well, you’re in luck. As it happens, I gave one of the keepers at Taronga Zoo a blow job behind the back of the giraffe enclosure once, so he owes me a favour. For a small fee, I’ll get him to let you in after hours. He will ask you to strip off then introduce you to the zoo’s mountain gorilla, called Blimbo. Once you’re inside his enclosure, Blimbo will run his huge leathery hands over your naked girlish body, his teasing fingers working their way inexorably down towards the womanly treasure. Now fully aroused, Blimbo’s throbbing apehood will enter you again and again, the gorilla’s powerful thrusts - 10 times stronger than those of a man. You and your primate lover will simultaneously reach a shattering climax before both collapsing, on the straw of his pen. Failing that you can always try and wank off one of the chimps. Endless fun. Dear Crystal, My best mate recently asked me to be best man at his wedding and I really want to make sure his stag do is a night to remember, something no one’s done before. The problem is, I haven’t got a bloody clue how to go about it. The lads have told me they don’t care what we do so long as they get to see some tits. Any suggestions would be really welcome as I’m stumped. Yours, Frankie Dear Frankie, It’s all going Crystal’s way today. Usually I’d just offer you my stripping services (ever seen a woman shoot baby kittens out of her fanny? Thought not) but, amazingly, I’ve got something even better. Just tell me the night of the stag do, and I can arrange it so that you get the run of Taronga Zoo for the entire night. Not only that, but as a climax, you’ll get to see a naive young woman with a bestiality obsession getting fucked by a gorilla. Now that’s a stag do.

JOKES: My mate’s shagging twins who both like it up the arse. I asked how do you tell them apart? He said easy, Sally’s got massive tits and Derek’s got a moustache... Stan, Darlinghurst

Monday sucks!... But hang in there because Tuesday does anal! Rusty, Darlinghurst

Just been done by the police. According to the law, wrapping your cock in The Beano and wanking doesn’t count as Comic Relief. Roger, Surry Hills

I suggested to my wife that she’d look sexier with her hair back. Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient. Betty, St Kilda

I’ve just lost the money for my wife’s epilepsy prescription in the bookies. She’ll have a fucking fit when she finds out. Steve, Paddington

Some longer ones…

After having sex with a rough council estate girl there’s nothing worse than looking down and seeing a split and leaking condom hanging off your cock- especially when you weren’t wearing one to begin with! Hayley, St Kilda A man tells his doctor, “I’m afraid to get married as I think my cock’s too small.” The doc says, “Get a job on a dairy farm. Every day, dip your cock in the cow’s milk and get the calf to suck the milk off. This will naturally stretch it.” Two months later, the man returns. “Did you get married?” asks the doc. “Did I fuck! I bought the calf!” Claus, Fremantle I’ve just started dating a policewoman. She only shaves her fanny once a week. My pet name for her is cunt-stubble! Francine, Kings Cross Police raided Kermit’s lily pad last night and found hundreds of naked pictures of Miss Piggy. They said it was the worst case of frog’s porn they’d ever seen! Avery, Woolloomooloo I saw a fat woman walking down tge street today, wearing a t-shirt that said ‘I love the hip hop,’ I think the letters ‘c’ and ‘s’ must have came off in the wash. Bob, Felixtoe Your sister couldn’t wrestle to save her life, But we have all seen her box. Avery, Bondi What do you call a cowboy with thrush? Clint Yeastwood. Barry, Cockburn

The Door Greeter: A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced bitch walks into a store with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, “Good morning and welcome - nice children you’ve got there - are they twins?” The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl, “Of course they bloody aren’t! The oldest, he’s nine and the younger one, she’s seven. Why the hell would you think they’re twins?... Do you really think they look alike, ya dickead?” “Absolutely not,” replies the greeter, “I just can’t believe anyone would fuck you twice!” Big John, Kings Court Massage “When I was growing up, I was always told that life is my oyster. I was told that no one would give me anything and that if I wanted something so badly, I had to grab it, with no second thoughts and to Hell with the consequences. So I set myself up to live a life with no limits, because I was number one and I would be at the top! And that your honour, is why I stand here accused of rape.” Geoff, Manly My neighbour took me on my first fishing trip yesterday, we got all the tackle set up on the riverbank and he said, “Can you open me a can of worms?” I said “Well, I see the milkman go into your house most mornings just after you go to work.” Turns out he was talking about bait or something. Henry, Wynyard As a struggling actor I was thrilled when my agent phoned with an audition. “The part’s made for you,” he said. “They want someone your age, height and build with an accent like yours, and it’s being filmed about 5 minutes from your house.” “It sounds perfect!” I replied excitedly. “What is it?” “It’s a Crimewatch rape reconstruction.” “Erm... No... I’m busy that day...” Gwen, Melbourne

My girlfriend just text me: ‘I’m sitting in work and I’ve just realised that I’m 4 days late, what shall I do?’ I replied: ‘Just apologise to your boss and say that it won’t happen again’ Jack, Balmoral

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GET LATE Melbourne

Purple Emerald The Purple Emerald is one of those places that is a quiet bar during the day, and evolves into a soul-shaking, funk-filled venue at night. Situated on Flinders Lane, the comfy lounge chairs, sleek polished floors and live music from jazz and funk bands makes Purple Emerald the perfect place to wind down after a taxing day’s work or for a night out on the weekend. The relaxed, comfortable soulful vibe is a firm favourite with CBD office dwellers as well as students and other twenty-somethings, all of who can get on with the reasonably priced cocktails and other thirst-quenchers on offer. Its open-plan layout means that despite its small and narrow measurements, it is difficult to feel over-crowded here. Commended on its intimate, chilled atmosphere, this is where you go when you want that drink with friends minus all the hustle and bustle of Melbourne outside. 349 High Street Northcote VIC 3070 (03) 9482 7007 Brown Alley - 24 club (Rooftop day parties) Brown Alley describes itself as Melbourne’s premiere underground club. They are dedicated to dynamic house, techo, breaks, electro, progressive, indie, alternative rock…you get the idea. Holders of one of the few Melbourne 24-hour licenses, you know that once you’re at Brown Alley for the night, there is very little reason why you’d need to go elsewhere. A venue which hosts some of the biggest internationally renowned DJ’s, bands and electronic acts, Brown Alley provides not only late night events but also daytime garden terrace rooftop parties. With four separate rooms split between three levels, downstairs boasts a huge club venue whilst upstairs is long and rectangular – DJ’s hidden away at one end, you at the other. This place is big and it never sleeps. Luckily for you there are couches and beanbags dotted around if you do fancy a quick nap from all-day raving, plus a fully-fledged eatery on the ground floor during the day in case you find yourself a little peckish. There is always something going on here – everyone knows about Brown Alley. 585 Lonsdale Street Melbourne VIC 3000 (03) 9670 8599

Sydney

Sticky Bar - Cocktail Bar Having opened back in 2006, Sticky is said to be Sydney’s first small bar. Its name is not blazoned all over Campbell Street Surry Hills where it’s located, this place is reached by a covert entrance on Taggarts Lane, hidden away from the naked eye. By the way, you’ll be needing your phone to get inside as you’ll have to text the password. Exciting hey! Complete with bohemian décor, comfy retro couches, dim mood-lighting and sophisticated live music all offering an intimate and relaxing ambience, Sticky is one of Sydney’s top alternative drinking hangouts. Their fine array of delicious cocktails changes on a daily basis, meaning even the regulars find something new on the constantly evolving beverage menu. Known for their impressive range of boutique beers and excellent wine list, the staff are able to recommend the best beverage to accompany your selection of Italian-inspired snacks and nibbles. Open Wednesday to Saturday, from 6pm till late, Sticky can be used not only as somewhere to start the night but also somewhere to finish it in the small hours. Every Wednesday sees the infamous ‘Sticky Roast’ while Thursday’s visitors can indulge themselves with some Paella and Sangria. Situated above the Table for 20 restaurant, owner Michael Fantuz makes sure his guests are met with warm, generous and personal hospitality, echoed by all who work there. It’s the place to be if you’re looking for that ‘somewhere a bit different.’ Lvl 2, 182 Campbell St Surry Hills 2010 (04)16 096 916

Spice Cellars The Spice Cellar is a shining star in Sydney’s cities bar/nightclub scene and if you’re from Europe, and starting to think all the bars in Sydney play cheesy electro house you’ll be pleased to know there’s no chance of that here. It’s located in the basement level of the heritage Overseas Union Bank building, at 58 Elizabeth Street in downtown Sydney. Taking over the Wine Banc’s old sunken cellar, the venue is ensconced 20 feet below street level in the trusty cocoon like surrounds of a bank basement. If you chose to visit this establishment during the week you can expect high-end cocktails and an excellent spice-infused menu set in European inspired boutique atmosphere. Come to the same bar later in the evening and you will see the place transformed into an afterhours haven, with some of the biggest name DJ’s from the tech and deep house scene spinning the best in underground, forward thinking music in Australia. With owners like Warren Faulkner and Murat Kilic (Reckless Republic) you can expect nothing but the best, as they have built up a strong reputation for throwing some of the best parties Sydney has seen in the last decade. At Spice, the venues official afterhours party, you can expect to see DJ’s such as Vincenzo (DE), Simon Baker (UK), Terence Parker(US), Anthony Shake Shakir (US), Burnski (UK), Moodyman (UK), Alexkid (DE) and The Revenge (UK) as well as the best in home grown Australian talent. 58 Elizabeth St Sydney 2000 (02) 9223 5585 Gay and Late The Colombian The Columbian is one of the most popular gay bars set slap bang in the middle of the world famous Oxford Street (home to the Sydney Mardi Gras Parade). Renowned for the best people-watching window in Sydney, extravagant Drag shows, and quality DJ’s pumping out the best house music seven days a week until 6 every morning. Fairly lenient bouncers make it a popular spot with late night drinkers from all walks of life, but they still take charge and keep out 99% of the local Oxford Street inhabitants. The Columbian is generally a good shout if you’re looking for somewhere with a beat, no door charge and a clientele with a sense of humour. Although the Columbian is a gay/lesbian bar you can be sure to find a fair few straight guys and girls knocking about throughout the night. 117-125 Oxford St, Darlinghurst, NSW, 2010 (02) 9360 2151

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Busy day time parlour KINGS COURT MASSAGE is the best place to learn adult massage. Kings is well organised with tight guidelines (no sex) and the other girls are friendly to work with. You will gain confidence as you learn adult massage and the style of the place makes you look good. You just need to be the girl-next-door. We have an understanding boss and the clients are younger and more polite than other places. Enjoy cash money on a casual basis paid daily from the beginning.

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TAX & VISAS Major changes to be introduced to the Australian Skilled Migration Program on 1st July 2012 The Skilled Migrant Selection Register (SkillSelect) is a new Australian visa program aimed to ensure that the best and brightest skilled migrants from a pool of intending migrants are selected for visa processing. On 01 July 2012, SkillSelect will replace the existing skilled migration program and will reform the way Australia selects skilled migrants for visa processing. ‘SkillSelect gives the Australian government more control over who they let into the country but it will create significant uncertainty for intending skilled migrants’ says Declan Visafirst.com . In particular, it will impact those interested in independent, family, state or territory sponsored and business skills migration.

So how will it work?

SkillSelect is based on an electronic two-stage process whereby intending migrants • Stage 1 – submit an Expression of Interest (EOI) • Stage 2 – you must be invited to apply for a skilled migration visa by DIAC (Department of Immigration and Citizenship) Despite lodging an EOI, there is NO GUARANTEE that you will ever move on to stage 2 (i.e. invited to apply for a skilled migration visa). You remain on a database of interested applicants ranked by points awarded, date of application and occupation for up to 2 years. When lodging an EOI, you must meet the points criteria, have your skills assessed and an English language test already carried out. So there will be a financial outlay without any guarantee of being invited to lodge a visa application. It is also worth noting that quotas will be introduced to this new system to prevent the pool being dominated by a narrow range of occupations. Once the limit is reached each year, there will be no further opportunity for that occupation to apply. People should be aware that they could remain on the system for the 2 year period without ever being invited to apply for a visa (stage two). After that if you have not been invited to apply for the visa your EOI is removed.

You can submit another EOI if the 2 year period has lapsed, you not been invited to apply for a skilled visa and subsequently have been removed from the pool. Again, you must meet the necessary visa requirement including the minimum pass mark and your occupation quota must not be full, to submit the second EOI. ‘Keep in mind that you will be two years older which may effect your points score, your IELTS will be out of date after 2 years so you need to do this again and depending on your occupation, you may need to do your skills assessment all over again- this will be a non refundable cost to the applicant’, Clune, Visafirst.com. After all this cost and work, there is still no guarantee that you will receive an invitation letter to apply for a permanent visa. If you are looking at applying for permanent residency, you should get your application lodged to our Sydney office as soon as possible to prevent you being affected by the July 2012 changes. For further details or a free assessment call 02 8297 6173. Those with a job offer will not be effected by the upcoming changes and we can continue to lodge a sponsorship visa for them. In addition those applying for a second year working holiday visa will not be effectedby the changes. VisaFirst.com provides global visa and travel support services to more than 85,000 people working and travelling in over 100 countries every year. The United Kingdoms primary visa specialists organise working holiday visas, business visas, employer sponsored visas, skilled migration visas talent & performance visas and tourist visas. Their specialised travel support services mean customers get off to the best start possible wherever they’re going. VisaFirst. co.uk also offers a free jobs-match service for those looking for employment opportunities abroad. Established in 2003 VisaFirst.co.uk has offices in Sydney, London, Chicago and Vancouver.

To find out more about job opportunities in Australia and related visas - Check the website www.visafirst.com MARN 1001083

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EMPLOYMENT

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TRAVEL - NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

Things to do SKYDIVING Skydive Lake Wanaka Ltd 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com Nzone ‘The Ultimate Jump’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SkydivingNZ.com New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING Shotover Jet

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

Glacier Guiding Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Going to Fiji?

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

ACCOMMODATION Beachcomber Island Resort Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.comwww.beachcomberfiji. com

river boarding Mad Dog RiverBoarding 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

Accommodation Christchurch City Oasis 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Coker’s Backpackers 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS Bay Adventurer Backpackers & Apartments 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

Kaikoura Adelphi Lodge Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Queenstown

auckland

Bungi Backpackers 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Southern Laughter Lodge 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Nomads Queenstown 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

Nomads Auckland 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

Franz Josef Glacier

Nomads Capital 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

Chateau Franz 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Glow Worm Cottages 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

The Beachouse Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com Smugglers Cove Beach Resort & Hotel P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport. Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove

Nomads Fat Camel 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

wellington

Robinson Crusoe Island Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

The Uprising Beach Resort 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com Nadi Bay Resort Hotel Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ Nadi Bay Downtown Backpackers Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

MUST DO Skydiving

Skydive Fiji 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj

‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

Scuba Diving

Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

Fiji’s multi award winning Dive and Watersports Company. Enjoy HALF PRICE on all diving and PADI dive courses during February and March at Beachcomber and Treasure Island Resorts.

AUSTRALIA - THINGS TO DO Skydiving SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS

1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au

SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS

Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au

SKYDIVE BYRON BAY

P.O.Box 1615, Byron Bay, NSW, 2481 Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS

1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra, QLD, 4551 Ph: +61 7 5437 0211 Mob: +61 0418 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au/

SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR

P.O. Box 351 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs

SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS

51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au

SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY

36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com

SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH

51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

Scuba Diving Australia PRODIVE CAIRNS

116 Spence Street, Cairns QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 5255 www.prodivecairns.com

THE SCUBA CENTRE

Surf Schools SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au

Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach 230 Sugarloaf Rd. Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE

MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING

Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, Western Australia Free: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au

Adventure Tours GOIN SOUTH

Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au

TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM

Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg SA 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au

A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING

McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au

L4, 362 Kent St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com

BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com

PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au

BALLOON SUNRISE

PO Box 229 Yarra Glen 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

Kite Surfing KITESURF 1770

The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING

KITE REPUBLIC

OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS

3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au

10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com

MOJO SURF

Ph: 1800 113 044 www.mojosurf.com.au

SURF SHACK

Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au

GO SURFING BYRON BAY

Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com

LETS GO SURFING

Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au

SURFING AUSTRALIA

Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com

Marine Charters

PARADISE JET BOATING

Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

Bike Riding Tours ESCAPE GOAT

Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

Zorb Balls OZ BALL GOLD COAST Go Zorbing with Oz Ball. Ph: 07 5547 6300 team@ozball.com.au www.ozball.com.au

Wine and Beer Tours

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS

PRIME MINI TOURS

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS

2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

ADVENTURE KAYAKING

7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

JET SKI SAFARIS

Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au

Melrose Park, South Australia 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com

CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR

Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au

BIG NIGHT OUT IN SURFERS PARADISE Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net

PARTY IN CAIRNS

Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au

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ACCOMMODATION AUSTRALIA New South Wales

Sydney

World Square Hostel 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au Sydney Backpackers 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com Clovelly Hotel 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au Criterion Hotel 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au Westend Backpackers 412 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW, 2000 Free: 1800 013 186 Ph: 02 9211 4588 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.westendbackpackers.com See the CHURCH - Australia’s largest dorm! Jolly Swagman Backpackers Hostel 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au Bondi Backpackers 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au The Globe Backpackers 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com City Resort Hostel 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off! (Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

The George Street Hotel 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Free: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au Bounce Sydney 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au Lord Wolseley Hotel 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au Maze Backpackers 417 Pitt St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 5115 Free: 1800 813 522 info@mazebackpackers.com www.mazebackpackers.com Porterhouse Hotel 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au Big Hostel Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms. 212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’Malley’s Hotel 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au Sydney Central Hostel 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au The Royal Hotel 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au Kanga House backpackers

141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

Sydney Northern Beaches Sydney Beachouse - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year. Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

Sydneys Southern Beaches Cronulla Beach YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS Melaleuca Surfside Backpackers 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au Hunter Valley Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

Katoomba Katoomba Mountain Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

Byron Bay Aquarius Backpackers 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au Nomads Byron Bay 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Arts Factory Lodge 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

Nambucca Heads Nambucca Backpackers 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 info@nambuccabackpackers.com.au www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au

Lake Tabourie Lake Tabourie Tourist Park Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

Queensland Brisbane Tinbilly Travellers 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 44 66 46 reservations@tinbilly.com www.tinbilly.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad The Deck 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind. Minimum 2 week stay Base QLD Backpackers 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Brisbane City YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

Goldcoast Aquarius Backpackers 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au

Surfers Paradise YHA at Main Beach Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Backpackers in Paradise 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com Surf N Sun Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com Trekkers Backpackers 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au Sleeping Inn Surfers 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au Coolangatta Sands Hostel Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au Surfers Paradise Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

Noosa Nomads Noosa 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

Hervey Bay Nomads Hervey 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770 (Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) Cool Bananas 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 Southern Cross (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 Beachside Backpackers 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker. com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

Cairns Nomads Cairns 341 Lake Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Free: 1800 737 736 bookings@nomadscairns.com www.nomadshostels.com Stay 4 nights, pay only 3! Or $5 off 1st night with this ad. Cairns Central YHA 20-26 McLeod Street, Cairns QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4051 0772 cairnscentral@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Gilligans backpackers hotel & resort 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au Nomads Esplanade 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com Dreamtime Travellers Rest 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.) Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com Globetrotters International 154-156 Lake st Cairns City QLD Free: 1800 22 55 87 info@globetrottersinternational.com.au www.globetrottersinternational.com.au

Nomads Cairns Beach House 239 Sheridan Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Tel: 1800 229 228 or (07) 4041 0431 bookings@nomadsbeachhouse.com www.nomadsworldhotels.com Dorm from just $12 The Northern Greenhouse 117 Grafton Street Cairns QLD 4000 Ph: 1800 000 541 northern@friendlygroup.com.au www.northerngreenhouse.com.au JJ’s Backpackers 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

Mission Beach Absolute Backpackers 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au Scotty’s Beach House 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

Whitsundays Barefoot Lodge Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Airlie Beach Airlie Beach YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/Whitsunday Village Travel 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

cape tribulation PK’s Jungle Village Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com Ferntree Rainforest Lodge Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

rainbow beach Pippies Beach House Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco WhaleWatching for all!

Western Australia scarborough western beach lodge 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

COTTESLOE ocean beach backpackers cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

Perth Rainbow Lodge 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au One World Backpackers 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au Mountway Holiday Apartments 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au Britannia on William 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com

YMCA Accommodation Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 email: jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au Underground Backpackers 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 Fax: (08) 9228 3744 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com Beatty Lodge 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au Billabong Resort 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au Globe Backpackers 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au The Old Swan Barracks 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

monkey mia Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

Kununurra Kununurra Backpackers Adventure Centre 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

broome Beaches of Broome 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

Victoria Mildura redcliffs hotel 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

Halls Gap Brambuk Backpackers Hostel 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

Melbourne Easystay Motel and Studio Apartments Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 Melbourne Central YHA 562 Flinders St Melbourne 3000 Ph: (+613) 9621 2523 melbcentral@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Centrally located, close to public transport and major attractions. Free city circle tram on doorstep,24 hour reception, wifi and Skype available. Rooftop deck. Melbourne Metro YHA 78 Howard Street North Melbourne 3051 Phone: (03) 9329 8599 melbmetro@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Winner of the Victorian Tourism Award for Best Backpacker Accommodation three years running! 24 hour reception. Exford Hotel 199 Russell Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au Nomads Melbourne 196-198 A’Beckett Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 44 77 62 Ph: 03 9328 4383 bookings@nomadsmelbourne.com nomadshostels.com Funkiest backpackers in Melbourne!

Back of Chapel 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com Nomads All Nations 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad Flinders Station Hotel Backpackers 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only). Melbourne International Backpackers 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au The Greenhouse Backpackers 228 Flinders Lane, Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: 1800 249 207 greenhouse@friendlygroup.com.au www.greenhousebackpacker.com.au Hotel Discovery 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au

St. Kilda Jackson Apartments 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com OSLO HOTEL 38 Grey St, St Kilda Melbourne Ph: 1800 501752 Free call or (03) 95254498 or mob: 0407115610 (any time) info@oslohotel.com.au www.oslohotel.com.au From $132 per week, 4 bed dorms Habitat HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20!FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

Apollo Bay Apollo Bay Backpackers Lodge 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au

Eco Beach YHA Eco-Hostel 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

Halls Gap Grampians YHA Eco-Hostel Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

Phillip island

THE ISLAND ACCOMMODATION Phillip Island travel and accommodation packages

Ph: (+61 3) 5956 6123

The Big Wave Complex 10 - 12 Phillip Island Tourist Road Newhaven Phillip Island, Victoria info@theislandaccommodation.com.au www.theislandaccommodation.com.au

EXPERIENCE THE PENGUIN PARADE! Northern Territory Darwin Ashton lodge & Wisdom Bar 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au Melaleuca on Mitchell 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

alice springs Annie’s Place 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

South Australia Adelaide Adelaide Travellers Inn Backpackers 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au Majestic Minima Hotel 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com Adelaide Shakespeare International 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

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