BBM Magazine September 2012

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COMING UP FACEBOOK.COM/PHOTEKMUSIC

FRIDAY 31ST august

SATURDAY 1ST SEPTEMBER

vengeance / KOMBAT / BOOT / kYRO & BOMBER DAMIEN OSBORNE / NICK ROBINS / ANDREW WOWK / STRUZ

A-Tonez / Ctrl Alt Delicious / Kingdom Hearts Bounce Crew djs King Lee / Fingers / Kiz / Oscillate Darkly

friday 7th september

SATURDAY 8th SEPTEMBER

SPENDA C / A-TONEZ & KID SAMPLE / HYDRAULIX & BASSRIOT MITCH LOWE (NZ) / MIKE HYPER / NEMO

Fear of Dawn / Chris Arnott / Whitecat / Devola / Goodfella Athson / Antoine Vice / Aboutjack / Murray Lake / King Lee / Wrecks

WITH

[CANADA]

FRIDAY 14TH SEPTEMBER

SATURDAY 15th september

FRIDAY 21ST SEPTEMBER

SATURDAY 22nd september

FRIDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER

SATURDAY 29th september

GLOVECATS / RELOAD / GEE FLUXZ / MARK BIONIC / V & Z / DAMSEL

POP THE HATCH / AUTOCLAWS / HYDRAULIX BRUXISM / SHUDDER-X / SUBASKE & KEMIKOLL

JD4D / EMPRESS YOY / STEP BROTHERS SWEAT DECKS / RODMAN / JAIMIE-LYN / MARCO ROCCO

CNR KING & SUSSEX STREET ( UNDER SLIP INN )

Blaze Tripp / A-Tonez / Emoh Instead Fingers / Tones / DJ Eko / King Lee

The Hump Day project / Robbie Lowe / A-Tonez / Murray Lake U-KHAN / Whitecat / Cheap lettus / Devola / Dj Just 1 / Goodfella

Kid KenobI / Peking Duk / A-Tonez / Offtapia Bounce crew Djs / Georgia / King Lee / Ya Jokin

chineselaundryclub.com.au

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HIGHLIGHTS Kings Park Festival

If you’re looking for something relaxing to do in September, why not check out the Perth Wildflower Festival/Kings Park Festival? Taking place in Kings Park and Botanic Garden you can enjoy the beautiful scenery along with free workshops, activities and events. Originally starting as a five-day event in 1965, the festival has become increasingly popular and now runs for a month from September 1. Each weekend of the festival is themed with spectacular displays of Western Australian wildflowers. There’s also live music and guided walks around the gardens to enjoy throughout the month. Close to the city centre, the gardens are an easy walk from Perth’s main street, St Georges Terrace.

What: Perth Wildflower Festival/Kings Park Festival When: September 1 – September 30 Where: Kings Park and Botanic Garden, Perth For more information visit www.bgpa.wa.gov.au

Fringe Festival

Throughout September Fringe Festival offers heaps of exciting stuff to go see/ do/hear. There’s plenty of live music of all types to enjoy, along with comedy and innovative theatre. Boganville Burlesque takes a classic burlesque show and gives it an Australian twist to guarantee an evening of unique fun. There’s theatre to make you laugh, cry and give you food for thought, while the circus shows and music cabaret on display will amaze all your senses. Buy your tickets now to ensure you don’t miss out!

What: Fringe Festival When: September 7 – September 30 Where: Sydney For more information visit www.2012.sydneyfringe.com

What: Mahbilil Festival When: September 15 Where: Jabiru, near Darwin For more information visit www.mahbililfestival.com

Oktoberfest

Wilkommen to two weekends of beer and Bavarian-inspired merriment. This is the fifth year the Oktoberfest has taken place in Brisbane and it’s already been nominated as one of the Top 10 Oktoberfests in the world. To celebrate, expect this one to be the biggest and best to date! Sample the finest of German food and sip (or guzzle) hand-crafted beers made from 200-year-old recipes. To set the right atmosphere, there’s also traditional music and entertainment to give a taste of the Bavarian culture and history. Also, it’s just a bloody good excuse to get drunk.

Cricket Season

Melbourne Cup

What: Melbourne Cup When: November 6 Where: Flemington Racecourse For more information visit www.melbournecup.com

CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY UP COMING GIGS CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE CHECK THIS OUT - QLD EAST COAST ROAD TRIP JOKES GET SOCIAL INTERVIEWS MUSIC NEWS FUNNY NEWS SPORTS NEWS CRYSTAL BALLS • ASK CRYSTAL BBM REPORT - RECRUITMENT EMPLOYMENT • VISAS • TAX ADULT CLASSIFIEDS TRAVEL AUS, NZ & FIJI ACCOMMODATION AUSTRALIA

EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com

What: Oktoberfest When: October 12-14 and October 19-21 Where: Brisbane For more information visit www.oktoberfestbrisbane.com.au

The Melbourne Cup is all about fashion, racing and fun. It’s the perfect excuse to dig out a posh hat and get dressed up. There are big screens dotted around the city to get in on the action, or watch it live from the Flemington Racecourse. A public holiday for Melbournians, the atmosphere is addictive and the race at 3pm stops the whole nation in its tracks for the duration. Pretend to be posh and indulge in some canapés and champagne and then get rowdy during the actual race with some lairy cheering.

Don’t forget to pre-purchase your tickets – You don’t want to miss this!

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BBM

Mahbilil Festival

Always wanted to connect to the cultural traditions of the Aboriginal people? If the answer is yes, the Mabilil festival is the place to be. Celebrating the culture of the Kakadu, the festival takes place for one day in September in Lake Jabiru. During the day, enjoy art exhibitions, displays of indigenous weaving and traditional bush foods. At night the atmosphere changes into one of dancing and music with breath taking installations on the lake and shore. Other weird and wonderful things to do include didgeridoo playing and spear throwing. There’s also a magpie goose cooking competition, which sounds like brilliant entertainment to us.

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CONTENTS

From November to February, the whole of Australia becomes obsessed with cricket.

It’s played in back gardens and on beaches by mugs like us and at a professional level by the pros. Watch how it’s done by going along to Twenty20 matches, where each team plays an innings and is bowled 20 overs. In summer you can watch cricket pretty much anywhere in Australia; at home, in pubs, in shop windows…you name it, it probably shows cricket. It’s not summer in Oz without it, so play it, watch it and soak up the atmosphere.

What: Cricket Season When: November – February Where: Throughout Australia For more information visit www.cricket.com.au

Whale Watching

It’s the perfect time of year to enjoy a spot of whale watching, as the Humpback Whales enjoy a dip along the East coast of Australia. Visit Queensland between August and November for the ultimate whale watching experience. You’re guaranteed a glimpse of the beautiful creatures if you head out onto the sea on a boat trip. It’s one of those things you have to do before you die and something that will stay with you forever! Book a boat trip quickly before the season finishes and you miss your chance.

What: Whale watching When: August – November Where: Queensland For more information visit www.australianwhalewatching.com.au

SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby Online News Editor Jason Barr staffwriter@what-media.com CONTRIBUTORS James Stapleton, Frankie Salt, Amy Baker, Hannah Kurzawski, Georgina Deacon, , Alexandra MacLeod, Alex Cull, Jason Barr, Peter Simpson, Alexandra Macleod, Dani Nortje, Tina Edwards, Lewis Roe, Meredith Berman, Ashley Moore, Dan Colombini, Anna Tabrah, Robin Lewis WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber & Jess Comber DESIGN Jess Comber & Kane Baker E: jess@gowesternaustralia.com.au FOR PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir E: tom.shakir@what-media.com P: +61 2 8005 8162 Frankie Salt E: marketing1@bbmlive.com P: +61 8 9433 6162 For listings and classifieds E: info@what-media.com P: +61 2 8005 8162 PrinteD BY Spotpress TO ADVERTISERS Gaining the approval for the use of trademarks and images in advertisments is the responsibility of the advertiser and not What Media Pty Ltd. Advertising material is accepted in good faith and What Media Pty Ltd bears no responsibility for any claims or errors. Copyright of original material is held by What Media Pty Ltd. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden except with written permission of the publishers.

Solar Eclipse

Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef are the only places you can experience the full glory of this spectacular phenomenon, where the moon will completely overtake the sun. The usual chatter of birds and animals will be replaced by an eerie silence as the temperature drops and creates a shadow so large that the land will be in complete darkness. It’s very rare for a total eclipse to be visible from land, so the event is attracting visitors from literally all over the world. Make sure you’re one of them and don’t miss out on this event of a lifetime.

What: Solar Eclipse When: November 14 Where: Cairns and Great Barrier Reef For more information visit www.eclipse2012.org.au

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Sydney’s Small Bars Over the last three years, the fashion and trend of small bars within Australia has burst out onto the streets of Sydney. Quirky, kitsch and perfectly formed, these small, usually wasteful spaces have been filled with laughter, music and most of all… booze! So why has the craze become more of an addiction for the people of Sydney?

The smaller bars seem to have more to offer after work and at the weekends compared with the larger branded and chain bars. The owners seem to create events that appeal more to the alternative or younger crowds across the city, without putting up the cost of a night out. Cool and eccentric events call out to people just like you who want to hear some tasteful tunes, kick back with mates or a date and just have a banging night, not always with a banging head the next day.

These small bars really have to put their mind to it to be the best in Sydney, with small bars growing massively in numbers, it’s becoming more and more competitive; meaning better nights and deals for their customers.

We found it difficult to choose the best from the rest, however, these bars have a little something extra to make you realise that the weekend never dies.

Mojo Record Bar

With staff that feel like your mates rather than strangers serving you cold bevvies, you’ll feel like you never left home with golden oldies to make you warm inside and an old English pump to take you back to the homeland. The music speaks your language and with good company,

this small bar is massive in popularity. Drinks and vinyl have never tasted and sounded so good. No matter what tracks are playing, they won’t hinder your conversation, but will heighten the pleasure of any night out. This bar is a winner with a different vibe and attention to detail, which makes it stand out from the rest.

Basement level, 73 York Street, Sydney, NSW www.mojorecordbar.com

Stitch Bar

Bless this watering hole for putting Wynard on the map!

This dark, kotch and comfortable hang out, presents you with a place where you can chill and forget where you are within the suburbs. Hot-dogs and Blues are a speciality here, and one of the main reasons it has made it to the list of our favourite Sydney small bars. With an interior to make your eyes pop out and a really good crew of bar tenders Stitch Bar is the business.

61 York Street, Sydney, NSW www.stitchbar.com

Grasshoppers

When it comes to being a successful small bar, there isn’t much Grasshoppers misses. They are constantly updating their menu to please their ever-loyal customers, and their passion for board games is something that gives them the edge!

The product of a legendary pop-up bar, that lead to monster street parties, Grasshoppers was born from the coolest parents/owners in town! Sandwiched between the Hilton and the Strand Arcade, it is in an idyllic

CBD location – not to mention being voted Best Small Bar of the Year by Australian Bartender Magazine. We love this small bar for its organic nibbles, and eye for the environment with their recycling tactics and overall banging vibe.

1 Temperance Lane, Sydney, NSW www.thegrasshopper.com.au/

Shirt Bar

If unique is what you are after, then Shirt Bar ticks all the boxes. With a pretty perfect selection of cocktails, wines and beers, great espresso coffee and meat and cheese platters; this bar is a winner. However, there is a twist, and the name of the place does give it away. Two best mates have come together with a passion for fashion and getting fruity; Justin Marmot and Adam Hofbauer have created this one-of-a-kind clothes shop where you can admire the great selection of shirts whilst sippin’ on a cider.

7 Sussex Lane, Sydney, NSW www.shirtbar.com.au

your absinthe fountain, allowing iced water to drip over a lump of sugar, creating a cloudy moment for all who dare visit!

87 Albion Street, Surry Hills, Sydney NSW www.absinthesalon.com.au

Pocket Bar

This bar is so small, it will fit right in your pocket! Ok, maybe not quite, but Pocket Bar is one of the frontrunners when it comes to the small bar scene. Being one of the first, it took a tiny space and filled it with fun. It’s always packed to the brim with tourists and locals alike, keen to enjoy the intimacy and originality of the venue. The walls display a variety of street-art and the décor includes fairy lights and lots of retro objects. The food here is also great, so enjoy one of their famous crepes with your copious cocktails. What’s not to love about this pint-sized delight?

13 Burton St, Darlinghurst, Sydney NSW www.pocketsydney.com.au

By Frankie Salt

Absinthe Salon

Looking for a night you’ll never want to forget but most probably wont remember? The Absinthe Salon is a super quirky bar with Art Nouveau screaming from every corner and bar staff dressed in the coolest of period costumes.

Absinthe is what makes the bar go round, with only three drinks max per customer, you will soon see why after the effects of the 75% proof beverage. Every table holds

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Sydney’s Best Pizza Sometimes comfort food doesn’t have to be chocolate and all things fast food! Sydney is packed with pizza fit for a prince! From gourmet menus pizza package deals - to $4 pizza bargains, there isn’t a pizza invented which you wont find on a menu across the city.

Pizza is great if you just want to grab a quick bite or head out for hours for a proper catch up with your mates.

With twisted flavours and fruity bases, you can have pizza for every course on every night of the week if you fancy (albeit you may get a little fat). Pizza is fun, fresh and always right, whatever the night of the week – and for whatever reason you decide to indulge your pizza gremlin.

Mad Pizza

You know when pizzas sound as amazing as a dessert that their starters and main courses are going to be out of this world. With a fantastically mouthwatering yet superthin based and healthy menu, Mad Pizza is full of crazy surprises on the menu to really shake things up a bit.

It’s a menu, which is hard to choose from, but luckily everything is impeccable. All items are available to take away and they have restaurants throughout Sydney, so you won’t go ‘mad’ looking for this pizza palace.

312 Victoria Street, Darlinghurst, Sydney NSW www.madinitalia.com

Arthurs

Giovanni’s

139 Oxford Street, Bondi Junction, Sydney NSW www.arthurspizza.com.au

225 George Street, Sydney NSW www.giovannissydney.com

They say with age comes beauty and wisdom- this is most definitely true for Arthur’s pizza! Since its inception in 1970, Arthur introduced Sydney to a whole new world of pizza, adding things to the dough which had never been heard of such as seafood, mushroom, pepperoni and other exciting ingredients, compared to the very basic tomato, olives and cheese which were more frequently used. Fast-forward to 2012 and Arthurs is still seen as a pizza pioneer. It would be criminal to be in Sydney and not pay a visit to this doughy haven.

Strike Bowling

Mondays have never been so fun, delicious and happy!

Strike bowling knows that the weekend should never die and so has introduced for your pleasure, the best Monday offer in the city; buy a $6 pizza or $6 pint and get $6 games of bowling from 8pm. So after work, get together and get competitive. The pizza and beers are super cheap and super cheerful.

22 Lang Rd, Moore Park, Sydney NSW www.strikebowling.com.au

You can’t get more Italian-sounding than Giovanni’s, and the pizzas served up here are just as authentic.

This restaurant has been around for 20 years and has become renowned for being perfect for pretty much any pizza related occasion. Whether you want a cosy lunch with friends or a romantic dinner with that special someone, you’ll find it here. The pizzas are listed by starsigns, so either take it as written in the stars which topping you should have, or pick your own. There are also plenty of other dishes to choose from if someone picky in your party doesn’t fancy pizza.

The London

The London certainly knows how to serve a great wood fired pizza. Pepperoni pig and Peking duck are a specialty and a rarity on pizzas, however The London is proud to take risks and present a pizza beyond the ordinary. This place isn’t the cheapest in Sydney, but you really do get what you pay for and this is gourmet with a capital ‘G’.

They do have events with special promotions and so it is always worth checking out their website to see what cheeky offers the London is bringing to the masses.

85 Underwood Street, Paddington, Sydney, NSW www.hotellondon.com.au

By Frankie Salt

Hugo’s

When you have been awarded ‘Best Pizza Award in Australia’ it must be hard to not let your head get big about it. Hugo’s however, still keeps it real with its famous $5 pizzas available Thursday to Sunday evenings. Situated in the fun and young King’s Cross area of the city, Hugo’s is near to a lot of the hostels, backpackers and apartments which a younger crowd seem to dominate.

From Thursdays ‘til Sundays (Sydney people seem to have an extended weekend-and why not?) you will see the queue up from the stairs and along Bayswater Road.

There’s a reason for this, the cool vibe of the bar upstairs and the pizza bar down, it’s hard not to love Hugo’s as it goes from strength to strength over the past ten years.

33 Bayswater Rd, Kings Cross, Sydney, NSW www.hugos.com.au

Art in Sydney This Month If you fancy indulging your inner culture vulture this month and want something with a bit of a creative edge, then make sure to check out some of Sydney’s galleries!

It’s a thriving city when it comes to all kinds of art, from photographs to paintings and sculptures. For a great daytime activity you won’t be ashamed to write home and tell your folks about, get yourself along to one of the hottest exhibitions we’ve handpicked for you this month.

Home

What’s On This Month:

Home can mean different things to different people. It may denote a place of residence, or an attached sense of belonging. It is normally associated with feelings of comfort. For Aboriginal people, it may also be the country of their ancestors. This exhibition explores the idea of home through the work of Aboriginal people who belong to nations and language groups that today fall within the area defined as New South Wales.

27 June – 2 December 2012 Art Gallery of New South Wales, Art Gallery Road, The Domain, Sydney NSW 2000 (02)9225 1700 www.artgallery.nsw.gov.au

Ken Whisson: As If

Learn more about one of Australia’s most important painters in this major retrospective of Ken Whisson’s art. Portraits, landscapes and sketches trace the evolution of his work over the past six decades. Visit the exhibition to discover the artist’s influences and the developments of his personal aesthetic. Produced in collaboration with the Heide Museum of Modern Art in Melbourne.

28 September – 25 November Museum of Contemporary Art, 140 George Street, The Rocks, Sydney, NSW 2000 (02)9245 2400 www.mca.com.au

On Flights Of Fancy

A group exhibition, which showcases the talents of three very special Australian artists. Willy Sheather, Terry Pauline Price and Lori Pensini have created beautiful paintings for their upcoming Sydney exhibition. The work will appeal to everyone who enjoys something a little different, showcasing humorous, fanciful and whimsical pieces, full of colour, creativity and imagination.

15 September – 27 September Wentworth Galleries, 17 Bligh Street,

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Sydney 2000 (02)9223 1700 www.wentworthgalleries.com.au

Beyond the Last Sky: Contemporary Palestinian Photography and Video

Images from Israel and Palestine are seen by people all over the world on a daily basis. However, these images are usually presented to us via a television screen and often relegate the voices of Palestinians to the sidelines. Beyond the Last Sky is the first exhibition of its kind and showcases contemporary Palestinian art. Discover a stunning insight into Palestinian identity and experience via the means of critical humour in photography and video.

1 September – 18 November 2012 Australia Centre for Photography, 257 Oxford Street, Paddington, NSW 2021 (02)9332 0555 www.acp.org.au

Nippon Jin

Nippon Jin is the final exhibition in the Momentum Trilogy at the Japan Foundation Gallery. New York and Tokyo based commercial photographer Junichi Takahashi is famous for his celebrity portraits including the likes of Anna Sui and Calvin Klein.

Takahashi explores through his portraits how the Japanese are seen by others in Japan and by the rest of the world. In addition to the collection there will also be photos of disaster affected areas of Japan.

31 August – 28 September The Japan Foundation, Sydney, L1 Chifley Plaza, 2 Chifley Square (02)8239 0055 www.jpf.org.au

Mark Kimber: A Pale Mirror

This exhibition is alive with drama and atmosphere, created by Kimber’s use of small, hand-built dioramas which he interpreted through a combination of 19th and 21st century photographic techniques.

Through the resulting images, Kimber portrays the state between wakefulness and sleep. The simple analogue qualities of a plastic camera give the pieces a ‘half-remembered’ quality, shrouded in layers of forgetfulness and distant memories. The photographs draw inspiration from early German expressionist cinema.

29 August – 6 October Stills Gallery, 36 Gosbell Street, Paddington, NSW 2021 (02)9331 7775 www.stillsgallery.com.au

By Anna Tabrah

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Boat Parties Ahoy!

It’s official – summer is well on its way! It’s time to ditch the winter clothes and get your glad rags on for an epic party. But why do it on land when you can do it on a boat? The great thing about boat parties is that you can literally sail away from the world for a bit. It’s just you, music and an expanse of sparkling sea. In other words: paradise.

Sydney is where it’s at for getting drunk on a boat.

Unsurprisingly, boat parties are ridiculously popular and usually sell out within the first week of the tickets going on sale. This is where you either have to be super keen and book now, or get savvy and realise it’s all about who you know, rather than what you know (which is good for us, because we don’t really know a lot). Make sure you ask around for tickets and you’re likely to get lucky.

It’s not all about getting ridiculously pissed though (bear with us). There’s also a further element of a boat party, which makes it stand out – the music. With amazing DJs and the latest in dance tunes, the music is guaranteed to keep you up on your feet the whole time. Cruises such as AGWA Yacht Club and High Flyers often have the latest in Dance music all under one boat-shaped roof.

If you don’t fancy a full-blown rave, there are also more low-key boat pub crawls. The great thing about these is, they suit a backpacker budget and are held on a regular basis, so there’s no fretting about tickets selling out. Check out places like Oz Party for great deals, such as a free drink on arrival and great value buffets on board.

Most cruises last an average of three-five hours. “Too short!” we hear you say, but fear not; we have the perfect answer. Pretty much any boat party worth its (sea)salt comes with an after-party to keep you going into the early hours of the morning. Make sure you book these tickets in advance too, as you don’t want to be left to wander home alone at 8pm while all your mates are still getting on it. The great thing is that most of the after-parties save some tickets to sell on the door. Which means even the most forgetful have a chance of getting in, as long as they get there in good time!

So grab your tickets, and see in the summer in the best way possible – partying and on a boat!

AGWA Yacht Club

What better way to welcome the beginning of the summer party season than with the Agwa Yacht Party? Featuring Subb-An and Miguel Campbell on the Good Ship Starship, the thought of sipping on some Agwa, enjoying tunes on the harbour should be enough to get you buzzing.

The 2012 party has already been confirmed for Saturday, November 17, so grab your tickets now to make sure you don’t miss out. With a line-up featuring Subb-An, Miguel Campbell, Brohn, Coop, Le Brouts, Sam Roberts and T-Boy, you know it’s set to be the biggest and best yet!

At just 24-years-old, Ashique ‘Subb-an’ Subhan has done ridiculously well in his career considering his age. As the first headliner to grace the main floor of AGWA Yacht Club for the 2012/13 season: Subb-An is a sure-fire choice to kick-start the summer season.

More of a late-bloomer, Miguel Campbell has been galvanised by the house music scene since the early 90s and has also been a DJ since that time.

It wasn’t until 2006 that he founded his own label, Outcross Records, and in 2010 he became the newest addition to Jamie Jones and Lee Foss’ Hot Creations stable.

Support acts will come from a roster of solid local talent including Brohn, Coop, Le Brond, Sam Roberts and T-Boy.

When: Saturday 17th November, 2:30p-8pm Where: Starship Sydney, King Street Wharf More info: www.agwa.com.au

High Flyers

As some veterans and loyal High Flyers may already be aware, the first opening party ‘High Flyers Day Cruise’ will be kicking off on Saturday, October 27th. There’s more information being released soon, so keep an ear out and an eye open on www.bbmlive.com as we’ll certainly keep you in the loop.

This year will be celebrating 13 years of High Flyers mayhem, which have included some very memorable times.

Starting at midday, you can enjoy that deliciously naughty feeling that comes with sipping cocktails in the daytime. You’re guaranteed tanning and brilliant music in the day and a banging after-party after wards. Let’s be honest, you won’t be ready to go home at 5pm!

When: Saturday 27th October, midday – 5pm Where: Bella Vista, Sydney More info: www.digdeeppromotions.com

Pukka Up Boat Party - Experience Entertainment

Pukka Up and Experience Entertainment have been hosting epic boat parties for ages, so they more than know what they’re doing! Dates for this year have not yet been confirmed, so make sure you keep your eyes peeled so you can be the first to get in there and purchase one of the coveted tickets!

With Pukka Up you are always guaranteed a stellar line up of live performances and DJ’s, enough to keep you dancing from noon till late afternoon and into the after-party! It’s like a slice of Ibiza, delivered directly to Sydney, all for your entertainment!

Past parties have includes acts such as Tass, Digital Love and Inaya, so you know that it will just keep getting better!

The Pukka Up Boat is not your average boat party! All the elements of Ibiza’s most magical voyage will be present in Sydney Harbour, setting sail a party like no other experienced before. Be prepared to be pleasured both visually and aurally, with past parties featuring a huge selection of sumptuous décor, including giant inflatables and Pukka Up giveaways.

Details to be announced

Spice Afloat - NYD boat party run by Reckless Republic Spice Afloat is now in its 8th year, a landmark Sydney cruise, which is the first of its kind to hit Australia. Spice Bar is known for its after-hours parties, and just because it’s on a boat, this is no exception!

It all kicks off at 3am on New Year’s Eve, which means you should already be pleasantly hyped from seeing in the new year! Just make sure you’re not so merry you get seasick…

Like-minded music lovers will gather here to witness the first sunrise of 2013 on a glass boat with a 1000 people and quality international DJs. Past guests include Radio Slave, MCDE, The Revenge, Matthias Meyer and SLAM. Members pre-release tickets will be ready for you to get your grubby mitts on from 1st September.

When: Monday 31st December, from 3am Where: Sydney harbour For more information visit www.recklessrepublic.com

Frantic and E-Motion

E-Motion is the Frantic boat party held twice a year (usually in March or April, and November) on the Bella Vista. The last three events have been on the 1000 capacity, Bella Vista.

Expect awesome days with great tunes and a fantastic vibe.

Past line-ups have included Steve Hill, Tara Reynolds, Ian Mac, Club U4RIA UK, Yoshi, Micky D and Squirrel.

Past parties have also included different rooms, such as the Frantic Uplifting Dance Room and the Catch 23 Funky Electro Room. This means you can pick and choose what music you want to listen to, despite being confined to a boat!

Some things go in and out of fashion… Some tunes come and go...

Some events are long forgotten – But some are so good, they are simply timeless!

Unfortunately this year’s event has been and gone, but make sure to keep checking www.bbmlive.com, as we are sure to keep you updated!

Details for next year yet to be announced

Oz Party – Backpacker Cruise

Friday Night Rocks on Sydney Harbour! Come and join in every Friday between September to November and January to April, for the best party cruise on Sydney Harbour!

Join hundreds of people from around the world on this epic party boat. It’s 3 hours of cruising around spectacular Sydney Harbour, with funky tunes, an outdoor dance floor and amazing views!

Imagine partying hard whilst cruising past the Opera House and under the Harbour Bridge. Soak up the amazing views, bust out your best moves and party the night away.

The OzParty Cruise includes a free drink on arrival (beer, wine, sparkly), tasty food buffet and free transfers and entrance to an awesome After Party!

When: Every Friday between September – November and January – April Where: Sydney Harbour More info: www.ozpartybus.com

Funboat

This pub crawl runs every single Saturday, which means there is absolutely no excuse for you to miss out. And why would you want to?

Departing midday from King St Wharf 7, everybody receives their souvenir T-shirt upon arrival to get you in the spirit (and make finding your pub crawl colleagues easier when wasted).

You can also cut, draw and design it to specifically suit your taste, just to make sure you’re going to wear it with pride!

On board the Funboat a mouth-watering hot and cold lunch will be served, before cruising to the first port of call!

Back on board, the DJ begins the Funboat Idol segment and plays all the latest and greatest tunes. If any passenger is celebrating something special, the DJ will announce to all on board so everyone can join in on the celebrations. The more the merrier we say!

The last stop is always the King Street Brewhouse at 5pm.

The cruise ensures you get definite value for money! Included in the package is the buffet lunch and on-board entertainment. The only thing you have to buy is your bevvies. Don’t try and be cheeky and BYO, there’s a fully licensed bar on board which serves all your favourites at competitive prices!

When: Every Saturday, from midday Where: King Street Wharf 7 More info: www.funboat.com.au

Funboat Melbourne Cup Event

If you can’t be in Melbourne, Sydney Harbour is the next best option for the race that stops a nation. You’ll be celebrating in style, but on a boat. That’s got to be more fun than anything else you could be doing!

Certainly beats watching it in a pub over a warm beer…

Offering brilliant value for money, you will get a 3 ½ hour cruise and a delicious hot and cold buffet. There’s also on-board entertainment included in the price, such as a dress to impress competition with prizes for the best fashion, on-board sweeps and the famous Sydney Harbour Cup Race, which guarantees lots of laughs!

Again, the bar on board is fully licensed and fully stocked with all your favourite alcoholic beverages, so getting a drink will prove no problem!

When: Tuesday 1st November, 12:30pm-4pm Where: King Street Wharf 7 More info: www.funboat.com.au

By Anna Tabrah

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CHECK THIS THIS OUT OUT -- SYDNEY SYDNEY CHECK

Inside Balmain

Treat yourself

Balmain’s central road, Darling Street, twists and curves from one end of the suburb to the other and if you find yourself walking down there, you’ll notice that the old phrase ‘by name, by nature’ comes to life. All the fashion boutiques and lifestyle stores you could ever want line this street, so if you have a bit of spending money, now’s the time to dig it out. If you’re looking to splurge on a dress for that party you’ve been invited to next month or if you need a new pair of heels, then Darling Street is the place to shop.

From eclectic street-ware (Sofia Londero), to hand woven silk (Living Silk), to fabulous vintage (Leona Edmiston Vintage), you’re bound to find that ‘it’ piece you’re searching for.

Saturday is market day

We know that expensive boutique clothing is not everyone’s bag, so if you ever find yourself at a loss on a Saturday, then travel into the heart of Balmain and get lost in one of the markets of the suburb. Balmain Market is Sydney’s third oldest market, established in 1977, and is home to many regular stalls selling anything from art to handicrafts to fashion. The market is open from 8am – 4pm and we recommend you spend your time there over lunch so you can eat at one of the many wonderful stalls there serving Indian, Thai, Nepalese and organic food among much, much more.

Another great market is the Rozelle Weekend Market, which comes to town every Saturday and Sunday, 9am – 4pm. These markets are definitely a favourite among those who love second-hand goodies. There are stalls selling music and books, antiques, bric-a-brac, homewares and jewellery, so you’re bound to find something you love here. If you go to the official Rozelle Markets website (www.rozellemarkets.com.au), they have an excellent guide to their stalls if you’re looking for something specific. There’s usually a live band to keep the atmosphere lively and fun, so do check it out.

In the surrounding Rozelle area, you’ll find some interesting and quirky vintage stores that are like an extension to the market. Anything from highend finds to absolute bargains are here, so spend the day mooching around with your mates to see if you can find anything worth buying.

You’ll find Balmain nestled in the heart of Sydney’s inner-west, just on the estuary. Once – and maybe still – one of Sydney’s oldest working class suburbs (it’s where the Australian Labour Party formed in 1891), it is now a thriving hub of creativity.

Some of Australia’s best known authors, artists, actors, film directors and musicians live here and as soon as you visit, you’ll begin to understand why.

Life in Balmain can be quite cosmopolitan, but also very chilled. The nightlife brings in crowds of people who want to party with DJs and bands in the many local pubs and clubs. On the other hand, the peninsula is home to many parks and reserves, which are open for you and your mates to relax in as the days get warmer and the nights get shorter. There is much in Balmain to keep you busy, including local markets and inviting cafes, both of which are filled with culture to keep you entertained.

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Time for a bite

Balmain is home to many pubs, bars and cafes, some which have been in the suburb for over a century. For a traditional and friendly meal and a pint, head to Dick’s Hotel where you can cosy up to the locals and enjoy the atmosphere of the pub nicknamed ‘The People’s Pub’. First opened in 1874, the menu is quite sophisticated and reasonably priced with foods such as chilli salt squid, Bloody Mary oyster shots, and pumpkin and pistachio ravioli on the menu. Another great pub is the Cat and Fiddle hotel, a modern bistro with live entertainment and a sports bar. Another great place to check out is the Balmain Exchange, one of the most elegant buildings in the area, the Balmain Exchange Hotel is a great mixture of bars, sun-filled balconies, elegant function rooms and a smart new restaurant to enjoy.

If you want a café simmering with character that’s still a bit of a secret among non-locals, then try The Orange Peel. This café is set in an historical sandstone cottage on Beattie Street and serves a tidy selection of delicious

food and drinks. Takeaway is also an option if you’re in a bit of a hurry and the café offers a BYO policy. For one of the best coffees in Sydney, the locals will probably point you in the direction of The Little Marionette. Their coffees are fresh and delicious and with a park just over the road, the staff will be happy to lend you a rug for you to enjoy your flat white in the sun with your mates and a picnic. Another favourite is Café Berlin located on the busy Darling Street.

This place serves many wonderful homemade dishes, including creamy tomato-flavoured beans, French toast and many, many pies. With all these cafes and more, you’ll be spoiled for choice.

However, you might be looking for somewhere with a bit more, how should we say this… pizazz. So, head to The Monkey Bar, a trendy place with a buzzing atmosphere. This bar is a great place to catch up with friends on a Friday night, where you can get $10 cocktails from 6pm – 8pm. The Monkey Bar also hosts a poker night on a Monday, acoustic session on a Wednesday and a jazz night on a Thursday, so there’s certainly something for everyone. If you’re partial to a pub quiz, head down to The Town Hall Hotel on a Tuesday, where you could be in with a chance of winning their weekly jackpot.

A winner for culture geeks

Balmain is as historical as it is cultural and has many glamorous features.

The locals will make you feel welcome and at home in their various pubs and cafes, where you can try out some of the tastiest food around. Not to mention that the suburb also has a few well-kept secrets that we’ve shared with you in this article…

Although prices can be a little steep at times in Balmain, you will certainly get what you pay for, whether that’s property location or vintage quality down at the market. The suburb is cheery, bustling and colourful, and well-worth a visit and is well up there at the top of the chart as one of the most desireable places to live in Sdyney.

A roof over your head

You may only want to be in Balmain for a short time if you’re just passing through or if you’re on holiday, so take a look at the Balmain Lodge. It’s located on the central Darling Street, so you should have all amenities within walking distance. The Lodge also has all modern facilities for you to use, including laundry, cooking and parking facilities. The weekly rates are a bit pricey; for a single room you’ll pay around $280 and for a double it’s $350, but this is Balmain and everything is a little extra here. To stay here on-the-cheap, research some local hostels, where you can find rooms for as little as $10 per night, but this is only if you don’t mind sharing with strangers.

If you’re looking for something more long-term, then room rates in flat shares are just the same as hotels – they can be quite expensive. However, the range in prices is huge, so while you might find a room for $190 per week, down the road might be another flat share for $250 per week, so you will need to allow time to shop around before you make the move to Balmain.

Balmain is suited to professionals, with a penchant for nice pubs.

By Georgina Deacon

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY The Market World Of Sydney’s Streets known destination to track down new innovation in fashion and product design. Established designers tend to set up for the day here too, providing an inspiring selection of innovative fashion and design aesthetics.

The bar provides food and drink to the groups of lively customers, whilst DJ’s play a mix of popular and chilled tunes for a pleasant vibe, often encouraging the passers-by to take a look at what the inspiring stallholders have to show and tell.

Glebe

Glebe market is an inner city favourite every Saturday between 10am - 4pm, and is a mish-mash of second-hand, vintage, and emerging designer clothes.

Books, records, old antigues and jewellery are scattered over tables, so be prepared to rifle and rummage if you want to gain the most out of Glebe!

Although mostly fashion and second-hand orientated, there are the odd few gourmet food stalls to choose from, and a pleasant grassy area where you can sit, eat, and soak up the atmosphere of the market.

There is something for everyone when it comes to Sydney’s markets, and here we’ve picked out the best for vintage and second-hand seekers, foodies and contemporary shoppers alike. Always try and make a day of it, because the numerous offerings at most of these markets are far too beautiful or tasty to rush over, and getting lost in the vibrant bustle of visitors and stallholders is half the fun.

The Rocks

By far one of Sydney’s busiest and well-known markets, The Rocks is a stone’s throw away from Circular Quay, and a tiny walk along George Street will lead you right into the thick of it. A staple every Saturday and Sunday from 10am until 5pm, it specialises in emerging designer fashion, original artwork, beauty products and photography and print enthusiasts. Homeware stalls are commonplace here too; designer linen, smelly candles, crockery and bits of furniture are all products that you can pick up down at The Rocks.

On Friday’s every week, the plaza of Jack Mundey Place at The Rock’s plays host to a plush variety in food and drink, as local farmer’s arrive for 9am, when people start milling around to appreciate and buy from the selection of fresh produce, flowers, chocolates, and high-quality oils and condiments.

Easily accessible from the town centre, it is an essential first destination for the passionate market-goer.

The Fringe

A superficially trendy market, the Fringe is a market intended to provide a platform for new and up-and-coming designers. Held at the Fringe Bar on Sydney’s busy Oxford Street every Saturday starting from 9am, it is a well-

Situated in the grounds of Glebe Public School, it is only a short walk from the city centre, or an even shorter bus ride on the number 431 or 433 buses.

A good one to spend the day at, especially if you want to start up in-depth conversations with stallholders about their record collections, or simply people-watch whilst tapping your foot along to music from selected live bands.

Surry Hills

For truly great finds that won’t ever be matched by any conventional shopping centre fashion, head up to Surry Hills for the morning. Held on the first Saturday of every month - at The Shannon Reserve - it strictly adheres to its promise that all permanent stalls will sell second-hand or recycled goods, so don’t expect to find anything too crisp with labels still attached. The 40 permanent stallholders fill tables with specially selected pieces of vintage and second-hand clothes, and take great interest in what they sell. Don’t be surprised if they happily launch into the history of any piece you pick up off their table. Head up there early to pick up the best pieces, rain or shine there will undoubtedly something great you’ll unearth. If you’re the creative/fashionorientated type, ensure you kit yourself out in your quirkiest or sleekest outfit, because Surry Hills is milling with street-style photographers just desperate to slap your photo up on their fashion blogs!

Eveleigh Farmer’s Market

If trays of rainbow-coloured fruit and vegetables, fresh fish and meat are what you want out of a market, Eveleigh’s is award-winning authentic farmers market that has fabulous sense of community spirit. Set up every Saturday from 8am to 1pm in the heart of the city, is the destination for residents of Sydney to shop for a vast array of fresh, local food. The vast selection is the unity of over 70 farmers and artisan food producers from the New South Wales state.

Sydney’s designers the speciality market echoes the buzzing atmosphere of Eveleigh’s weekly food offering, with tea, coffee, breakfast and lunch being served over the course of the day. Definitely one to frequent if the city centre is in easy reach!

Balmian Market

This one’s got some history behind it, and although it is a little modest nowadays in comparison to the others mentioned so far the third oldest market in Sydney is worth popping down to, especially if you’ve already been to Rozelle Market in the morning. Held in St Andrew’s Congregational Church on the end of Darling Street every Saturday, Balmain’s grounds are filled every Saturday with exquisitive art and craft pieces, as well as local vegetables and the odd pile of a bric-a-brac. A perfect place for gifts and cups of tea.

Rozelle Market

A firm favourite amongst Sydney’s residents since it blossomed from an inkling of an idea into a full-blown market in 1991, Rozelle is an hugely popular place amongst both sellers and buyers for all things second-hand, antique and collectable. A short bus journey from the city (jump on the 500 bus) it makes perfect sense to hit up Darling Street for both Rozelle and Balmain markets. Make a day of it!

Here you’ll find a treasure trove of old jewellery, watches, furniture, ceramics, clothes, ornaments, and books amongst piles of other second-hand items, items that although considered someone’s trash, could be your new love!

To keep your energy levels up during the taxing efforts of bargain hunting, treat yourself to some of the wonderful gourmet foods on offer. Himalayan, Mediterranean and Russian cuisine are just a few tastes of the world you can experience, alongside stalls of fresh fruit, coffee and hot chocolate.

Paddington Market

A permanent fixture in Sydney every Saturday since 1973, Paddington champions the all the innovation there is in Australian creativity and design.

You won’t find much second-hand or antique items here, but exclusive emerging designers who are beginning to make a name for themselves in the fashion or art world. Although it lacks some of the quirky, enchanting features of the markets we’ve already mentioned, Paddington is far from being a commercial shopping destination. An abundance of flowers, food, clothes, homewares and art make for a pleasant, bustling atmosphere.

It is a perfect destination for the contemporary individual to find functional pieces that are a refreshing alternative to mass-produced items in the shopping centres. Food choices make for difficult decisions, there is many a tempting cake, Chinese noodle or Aussie BBQ to enjoy!

By Alexandra Macleod

On the first Sunday of every month, Eveleigh’s changes it tune and turns into a boutique shopping experience a place for locals and tourists to browse and buy from 70 stalls, each selling something unique. A platform for artists and

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Charlotte Pass NSW

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SYDNEY GIGS

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MELBOURNE GIGS

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE Melbourne’s small bars Misty Place

Whilst in Mebourne, Hoiser Lane is at the top of every graffiti fan’s list of things to see and do whilst in Melbourne. Even if you’re not overly fussed about street art, Hoiser Lane boasts character and appeal that anyone can enjoy. Misty Place is one cool bar to visit whilst you are down this end of town.

This hang out is ambient, very cool and the wait staff here cannot do enough for you. The inked meet with the suited and booted throughout the week, with art bringing everyone together. It is hard to not fall in love with the personality of of Misty Place- they have nibbles to share and you can design your own cocktails with the help of the bar tender. Misty’s is even a good spot to chill for the day; ignoring the mad rush of tourists and workaholics outside. With the ‘Until Never’ galleries upstairs and Lonely Planet’s winner of tourist attraction of the year perfectly positioned at the front door - Melbourne has never felt so small! Misty’s is a great get-a-way that suits any cause for a drink or a chat.

It’s a shame there aren’t more Hoiser Lanes around the city!

Melbourne is known as Australia’s answer to London. The laneways create a maze of effortless cool and splendor. A chilled vibe resounds through Melbourne, which is one of the reasons small bars are succeeding as a popular choice for a night out on the tiles.

3-5 Hosier Lane, Melbourne, VIC www.mistymelbourne.com

Sister Bella

Melbourne’s small bar trend is still on the rise, creating a daily escape for all you Melbournians residing there at the moment. To find out the best places to go, it takes months of sniffing out the secret little hide outs or lending an ear to all the café’s and bars in the area to listen in to the long standing bar lovers who have lived here for years. The small bars in Melbourne are forever competing to be the best at what they do without trying too hard; here are BBM’s favourite small bars that know how to show you a good time.

You don’t have to beg, borrow and steal to uncover this little beauty. Although it is really deep down the bottom of the darkest alleys, Sister Bella is worth the gander and the search. After the sad death of Sister Bella’s elder more popular brother bar - St Jerome’s - the whole city went slightly mad and was deprived a bar which screamed Brazil street party vibes for the masses.

Hence why Sister Bella then went on to pull her socks up and provide a route to have a night with a difference. This place is best mid-week and appeals to those who aren’t a little afraid of venturing from the suited and booted lanes of the city into the scatty alleys. Food and drink is very fairly priced and although it’ll never beat St Jerome’s, Bella is still going strong and serving bohemia every night.

Dexter Bar and Café

22 Drewery Place, Melbourne, VIC www.sisterbella.com

It’s always such a bonus when bars like Dexter’s are close by. In the very cool and kitsch Clifton Hill area, Dexter’s is the word on everyone’s lips. Grab a few mates or even if you want a quiet drink after a day at work; there are board games to choose from, plenty of outside space in the ever-pleasing courtyard and even sets of boules if you’re really feeling the games vibe.

Dexter’s is somewhere you should go if you want to chill for the long haul, watch some live music, and if you hate the pretentiousness of some other small bars who shall remain nameless.

123 Queens Parade, Clifton Hill, Melbourne, VIC www.facebook.com/DexterBarCafe

Madame Brussels

If you’re looking for a small bar with a quirky twist, Madame Brussels should be right up your street. Don’t be fooled by its exterior, because once you get past the dingy elevator, you’re transported up to a rooftop terrace complete with a beautiful garden and fancy cocktails. There’s also the mysterious parlour, which boasts rare and exotic dark spirits, including 20 types of fine rum. Named after Melbourne’s first brothel proprietor, expect kinky kitsch from Madame Brussels.

Level 3, 59-63 Bourke Street, Melbourne Victoria www.madamebrussels.com

Murmur Bar

This bar is so tiny, it would be easy to miss if you didn’t know about it. Once you do know about it however, we guarantee you won’t forget it. Its intimate vibe makes it great for hiding away in a corner for a cosy chat and cocktail. On Saturdays you can experience Murmur Bar in a whole different light, with the best of funk, soul and hip hop music to bop along to. There’s really something for everyone here.

17 Warburton Lane, Melbourne, VIC www.murmur.com.au

The Workshop

The Workshop has been around since 2006 and is in the lead when it comes to variety. It’s perfect for a mid-morning catch up coffee, lunch on the open air decking, alcoholic bevvies, a wander through its gallery space, or a boogie at the weekend. The bar may be small, but its range of drinks is huge. And being open every day from mid-morning till late, you can pop down pretty much any time to check it out!

413-417 Elizabeth St, Melbourne VIC www.theworkshop.com.au

St Edmonds

Section 8

Berlin meet London, London meet Melbourne. This place is a top winner when it comes down to a quirky, interesting and down right amazingly thought out ‘wonder bar.’ Created using only metal containers, where the only solid constructions are the shipping containers themselves, grab a barrel, a beer from their uber extensive drinks menu and lose time amongst the beautiful Chinese lanterns. Graffiti streams colour across Section 8, and the DJs play some really funky fresh music here, Section 8 we salute you!

27-29 Tattersall, Melbourne, VIC www.section8.com.au

This small bar is a no-fuss kind of place where you can gather with your mates for good quality beer and food without a ridiculous price-tag. Niftily converted from an old garage, this venue really shows how the small bar trend is helping to turn ordinary settings into out of the ordinary watering holes. Whereas it may now be transformed, St Edmonds has stayed true to its roots, dressing the staff in denim aprons and leaving the old garage door intact. Changing from a quiet cafe into a bustling bar at weekends, St Edmonds proves good things come in small packages.

Rear 154 Greville Street, Melbourne VIC www.facebook.com/pages/St-Edmonds

By Frankie Salt

Melbourne’s Best Pizza Melbourne is most definitely not lacking in any shape or form when it comes down to places to grab some great munch. However, we believe that there is a difference between great and amazing when it comes to food! The standard of pizza which can be found in Melbourne, like any other city varies from that of a badly run takeaway down some dirty alley which you would only enjoy after a night of pure drink fuelled debauchery- through to the most gourmet of pizza, which only a traditional purist Italian mamma would put her name to. Of course, the latter of the two representations is what every one wants a slice of; however, some restaurants can be deceiving- leading you to an abyss of soggy crusts and dry dough.

When only the best will do, check out our selection of pizzerias for the pinnacle of pepperoni, to the most moreish of mozzarella. Being fat bastards at BBM, you can trust we know what we’re talking about when it comes to not wasting your dollars on dodgy pizza…

Pizza e Birra

For bring your own on a mid week night Pizza E Birra is the place to be. Their menu is vast, meaning that there is lots of choice if you are heading out with a huge group of mates and fancy a big order to share. There are also some gluten free options within the pasta range and their anti-pasti selection is authentically Italian.

60 Fitzroy St, St Kilda, Melbourne www.pizzaebirra.com.au

Ladro Pizza

If you enjoy a glass of wine with your pizza, or you simply think it’s insanely insulting to go anywhere near Italian food without a glass of white, red or pink then Ladro have the perfect package. A glass of wine plus any pizza you may opt for from their extensively delicious menu for only $25. Bargain!

Their take away menu makes it easy for you if you don’t fancy a trip out in the evening, and with a name of a pizza like ‘Badabing’ on their menu, what’s not to love about Ladro? The atmosphere is always electric, yet ambient, and the staff is more than happy to discuss alternatives if you’re tastes are seemingly unique.

162 Greville St, Prahan Melbourne www.ladro.com.au

Asian Beer Café

BIMBODELUXE.COM.AU

The great thing about this place is that it caters for whatever you fancy. Not everyone has to be faced with a big round cheesy pizza, there is so much more to offer on this menu and every night here sees a different promotion. Unbelievably, this beer café serves pizzas from 11am-3pm everyday and 7pm-10pm at $4 a pizza. Other times you will find them on the menu for a very fairly priced $8. The Asian Beer Café has it all - complete with tauthentic Asian furniture, a 20m bar, 7 dining areas to suit your tastes and a magnificent balcony area overlooking the sights of Melbourne. Check their website to see their daily promotions if you’re into culinary collaborations.

Mon-Fri 12-4pm Sun-Thu 7-11pm Saturday 7-9pm

Level 3, Melbourne Central (Up escalators, CNR La Trobe & Swanson Street) Melbourne www.chogaomelbourne.com.au

Penny Black

Pizza and music go together like birds of a feather.

Support local music and bands down at the Penny Black at the weekends, or be rewarded after a terrible Tuesday with a pizza for only $6. With a heated beer garden, or a huge open fire for the winter months, The Penny Black is a very popular pizza/music joint within the Melbourne scene. The Penny Black also holds open nights for bands to come down and show the crowds what they are made of.

420 Sydney Rd Brunswick, Melbourn www.thepennyblack.com.au

Pizza Meine

Any restaurant that states “if you eat our pizzas with your hands... they’ll taste better and you’ll look sexier.” is a winner by our books. Pizza Meine is loved throughout Melbourne because of the advantage of their great gluten free based pizzas on a Thursday, just call them up before hand and tell them exactly what you fancy. With the restaurant only charging $4 corkage, Pizza Meine has an authentic menu that guides you through their unusual choice of ingredients.

e fre w n e o t Glu tion n le. op ailab .50 av a $2 tr Ex

231 High St, Northcote, Melbourne www.pizzarocks.com.au

Lucky Coq

Not only an awesomely fun venue, you can get your chops around some pretty decent pizzas at the Lucky Coq. And for only $4 it’s an absolute bargain.

Corner Chapel Street & High Street Windsor, Melbourne www.luckycoq.com.au

By Frankie Salt LUCKYCOQ.COM.AU

Mon-Fri Mon-Thu Fri & Sat Sun till

12-4pm 7-11pm 7-9pm 11pm

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE Art In Melbourne This Month If you enjoy feasting your eyes on pieces of art, look no further than Melbourne. The city offers a wide range of galleries and exhibitions to suit the tastes of everyone. There’s pretty much every type of art imaginable available, which bodes well for a cultured day out in the city! If you want to get to know Australia better, art is an imaginative and unique way to do so. We’ve picked out all the best exhibitions coming up in Melbourne this month.

Polynesia. With this exhibition, Tupou plays with the irony of how the western take on Pacific culture has influenced his art.

Sculptural Matter

Albert Tucker: Traveller’s Tales

Sculptural Matter explores a sculptural way of thinking and creating from both historical and contemporary perspectives. The art involved comes in a variety of forms, such as video, photography, installations and assemblages.

The exhibition includes iconic works such as Richard Serra’s Hand Catching Lead, but also new works by contemporary artists. Through its many different forms, Sculptural Matter is bound to provide food for thought.

Present – September 23 Australian Centre for Contemporary Art 111 Sturt Street, Melbourne VIC 3006 (03)9697 9999 www.accaonline.org.au

In 1947 Albert Tucker left for Australia, intending to spend 12 months abroad.

During this time he hoped to engage with contemporary international art and culture. However, Tucker became a little too engaged and that one year in OZ turned into 13. The time abroad amounted to a dedicated period of artistic experimentation and development. This exhibition portrays the major paintings from Tucker’s travels through England, Europe and America and is complemented by a selection of photographs from each visited location.

September 15 – February 13 Heide Museum of Modern Art 5-7 Templestowe Road Bulleen VIC 3105 (03) 9850 1500 www.heide.com.au

Where I Belong

Long Day Care Centres celebrates the importance of art to children via this stunning exhibition. The centres believe that art allows children to use their whole bodies and minds as a means for self-expression and communication.

In the past, art has helped many children connect with the wider world and helped them to develop positive self-identities by opening doors for them.

This project allows a rare visionary insight into children’s perceptions, environmental practices and creativity. Things we long to remember as an adult, but often can’t. Where I Belong relates particularly to where children belong within the Kingston community.

September 7 – September 18 G1: Kingston Arts and Cultural Centres 979 Nepean Highway Moorabbin VIC 3189, Australia (03) 9556 4440 www.kingstonarts.com.au

Samuel Tupou: Pan-O-Mania

September 5 – September 30 Melbourne Art Rooms 418 Bay Street, Port Melbourne VIC 3207 (03)9681 8425 www.marsgallery.com.au

This exhibition presents a pastiche of historical events, trends and shifts in culture. The new works on display take their inspiration from the post-war era of the 50s through to the early 70s, with particular focus on the Tiki phenomenon – a blind appropriation of Pacific culture for westerners. Tupou is fascinated with this phenomenon, as he has his own cultural roots in

Linda Jackson: Bush Couture

Linda Jackson has played a role in the development of a distinctly Australia approach to fashion design for more than 40 years. Taking a step back from conventional fashion practice, she developed unique forms of clothing that go beyond seasonal trends. Defying the often Westernised practice of fashion, she draws on an eclectic mix of influences from places such as India, Africa and Asia. This exhibition features work from Jackson created between the 1970s and 1990s, including some rare early pieces. Key elements of Jackson’s pieces are showcased, such as patchwork, hand painting and cut work. This is the first exhibition of Jackson’s work in a public gallery.

Present – September 9 National Gallery of Victoria 180 St Kilda Road, Melbourne Victoria 3000 (03) 8620 2222 www.ngv.vic.gov.au Image courtesy of Samuel Tupou and MARS Gallery

By Anna Tabrah

Market Life in Melbourne There has never been a better time to explore the market life in Melbourne, and to give you a little market diversity we’ve extracted some Melbournian insider knowledge and included some of the charming flea markets such as Camberwell and Rose Street, which are must visit for special second-hand, vintage and antique discoveries.

Queen Victoria Market

A truly historic market, Queen Victoria has been held dear in the hearts of Melbournians for 130 years. It remains the destination for locals to pick up fresh meat, fish and vegetables on a day-today basis, whilst simultaneously catering for the large influx of tourists. Fifty per cent of the market is overflowing with fresh produce, with bountiful offerings of fruit, vegetables, meat, chicken, seafood and delicatessen products each with its own precinct in the market. The history of the place is perhaps what makes it so endearing; the Deli Hall having been built in 1927, and housing authentic delicacies, whilst the Meat Hall that was built way back in 1868 now houses 20 butchers, 10 fishmongers and 3 fresh poultry traders.

The other half of the market is dedicated to clothes, homeware, café’s and speciality goods. The Victoria St shops are quaint, offering a boutique-style shopping experience, whilst the Elizabeth Street precinct is dotted with charming coffee shops and gourmet food shops. String Bean Alley is the home of the hand-crafted joys in life, filled with bespoke furniture, candles, clocks, homewares and beauty products. For younger shoppers, the F Shed Laneway is littered with mobile phone accessories, CDs, DVDs and Vinyls, as well as quirky, cutesy tweenage clothing and novelty items.

Prahran Market

If you’re an obsessive foody that sweats over fresh, speciality foods then Prahran Market is the one you should take a trip to in Melbourne. Open from Tuesday until Sunday from 7am (Sundays start from 10am), it boasts a huge selection of heirloom and artisan products, mostly local, but peppered with exotic choices.

It prides itself as one Melbourne’s oldest and tastiest food market, and encourages visitor interaction by means of cooking demonstrations and cook-offs, all the while supporting Victoria’s farming, as well family owned businesses and Melbourne’s food variety.

Rose Street Artists Market

For a truly bohemian market shopping experience, Rose Street Artists Market reflects the eclectic buzz of Fitzroy in all the things available to purchase.

Specialising in arts and crafts, all the 70 artists and designers from Melbourne offer provocative and innovative goods, and with over 400 different artists and designers frequenting the location every year, its one to go back to again and again, because you’ll always come across something new. Gourmet café’s and live music encourage people to gather and enjoy the ambience of the area every Saturday, and you’ll find that many of the stallholders will strike up delighted conversation if you have any questions of express interest in their work. A must-visit if you’re heading into Fitzroy.

Camberwell Sunday Market

An honest and chilled out flea market, Camberwell Sunday Market is a good 20 minutes from Melbourne’s city centre, but for those who like hunt and scavenge in their market visits, Camberwell is the place to go. Set up in a car park, the selection of second-hand, vintage, bric-a-brac and novelty stalls are numerous, in fact the possibilities are so vast we can’t even predict what you might find!

Sunday is Camberwell day, have your haggling skills brushed up, because most the stallholders will knock of a couple of dollars if you give them a good laugh. Give some, you win some!

Popular with sellers and buyers alike, it makes a good day trip away from the main bustle of the city, and as always if you get up there earl, your sure to have the best pick from an abundance of wonderful unique items.

The Esplanade Market, St Kilda

Every Sunday The Esplanade at St Kilda creative stallholders set up shop for the day all along the beach front, offering up innovative and creative works of art for crowds of eager visitors to enjoy.

It has been constructed as a creative outlet for local artists since 1970; intended to be a place for the dedicated artists to display and sell everything from paintings, photography, fashion accessories, clothes, jewellery, sculptures, leather goods amongst much more. Jewellery designers are particularly prominent, make sure you seek out Jaap, a stall selling handmade talismanic pendants, or Calypso Flash for hand-cast silver-plated pewter art nouveau pieces.

By Alexandra Macleod

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE Eating In North Melbourne…

Inside North Melbourne North Melbourne is a north-west suburb of Melbourne, Victoria, that’s a mere two kilometres out of the lively CBD. Historically it was a working class area where the Aussies who had to get down to some hard graft to pay the bills lived in shabby circumstances. Over the century it has been subject to ongoing gentrification, which has been remarkably snail-paced in regards to the prospering economy and infrastructure of Melbourne as an entity. As a result the area is a charming, cosmopolitan destination with original Victorian architecture, where great food, art, shopping and cocktails are dearly appreciated specialities.

What’s in North Melbourne…

It is home to the North Melbourne ‘The Kangaroo’s’ Grounds, so if football’s a passion it may be worth grabbing some tickets for any friendly’s that may kick off during your stay. The main strip of Errol Street has become something of an upmarket shopping area, boasting fancy boutique shops and popular cafes that are often frequented by regular’s inhabiting the trendy loft apartments and flats converted from old factories and warehouses around. Contemporary lounge restaurant and bar establishments are scattered all over this area, you can be sure there is one with a vibe and price that suits yourself and your purse strings!

You’ll discover that food and drink are a huge attraction in North Melbourne, the modern, civilised restaurants succeed in enticing many a regular or visiting passer by through their doors. There is something to suit every taste, from a good honest grill to some fancy Japanese delicacy that is now a truly cosmopolitan staple in all major cities across the world. For a truly authentic Italian experience you must head to Lygon Street, a bustling number of blocks between Elgin and Victoria St. It has evolved under the vibrant culture of Italy thanks to immigration, and was one of the first areas to realise and adopt the joy of alfresco dining. It isn’t necessary to head to a particular eatery, it is important to take your time, and have a relaxing bumble down Lygon St to let the drifting smells of fresh pizza, pasta, and BBQ tease your nostrils. That way when you come to make a decision about which one of the restaurants suit you best you can truly follow your nose! For breakfast, we recommend Trotters, a little place that is reminiscent of a ‘Baccaro’ or ‘Trattoria’, which is a typical casual Northern Italian style place with a warm, rustic charm. It prides itself on its use of local, fresh produce and honest style of food. Think eggs - Benedict, Florentine or Mediterranean, however you want it. Or if you fancy something truly novel to kick-start your metabolism for the day go for their Brekkie Burger!

If it’s too late for breakfast, well, why not just grab lunch? Grill’d is popular amongst the younger, studenty crowd, and does a fantastic gourmet steak sandwich. If you don’t stumble upon Lygon street until dinner time, it’s not a bad thing either, all it means is your going to have a hard time brushing off the many Italian restaurant owners who eagerly try and encourage those who may absent-mindedly forget to follow their nose (it’s very important) into their restaurants. DiMattina’s is a football-founded place that serves up honest, filling Italian, while Ti Amo will send your taste buds and soul into an explosion of happiness. If you’re on a date or celebrating a momentous occasion, Donnini’s is the place to splash out to enjoy high-end service and the best traditional Italian food. Once your full, (well it’s not over yet) Lygon Street is well-known for its mouth-watering selection of Gelato (that’s ice cream kids).

“I’m not a dessert person” is an unacceptable statement, because you’d be a fool not to indulge.

For a trendy, contemporary dining experience, The Leveson is undeniably the best. Minimal and modern, it serves fresh, tasty food ranging from burgers to pasta and meat from the grill. Lounge in the courtyard or frequent it on a Sunday during summer months to enjoy live acoustic sets.

Drinking in North Melbourne…

Whether it’s a glass of wine after a hard day’s work or cocktail ‘o’ clock with a bunch of friends, there are many bars and pubs in the precinct. Rrose Bar is a highly commended place for cocktails and their carefully developed boutique wine selection. The bar staff really know their stuff, and use houseinfused spirits, fresh fruit and a practiced eye to create truly unique drinks that make for a stand-out cocktail experience. They will advise and chat to you in detail about any of the wines or beers that tickle your fancy, and offer a wellrenowned selection of tasty nibbles to accompany your drinks, which is well worth checking out if you’re a little peckish.

The Metropolitan Hotel, or The Met to its regulars is an admirably adaptable venue that changes its tune in sync with the time of day. In the evening, it buzzes with conversation of people enjoying relaxed civilised drinks, which on the Friday often increase in number as the night goes on, until all civilisation has flown out the window and the cabs trickle along outside ready to take the exhausted and intoxicated home to their beds.

If you like a place with real character, The Turf Sports Bar on Queen Street has a warm, friendly atmosphere that gets a little bit wild as the night goes on. Kitted out with numerous plasmas and pool tables, it is a popular place to watch large sporting events and socialise with friends. Its Pub Quiz on Thursdays is always well attended, so if you can plan in advance and book a table you’ll be sure not to miss out on the fun with the Quizmeisters!

Other Things To Do In North Melbourne…

The Comic’s Lounge can be found on Errol Street, and is the only pl ace in the entirety of Australia that offers live comedy 6 nights a week, with favourites from Australian TV and Radio taking to the stage to make you giggle, snort, chuckle, heave, and roll on the floor with laughter. Equipped with a bar and restaurant, it makes a great spontaneous evening activity which is sure to be a little different, and hopefully hilariously funny. It is advisable you check the schedule beforehand, because shows from big comedians may sell out! Cinema Nova can be found back on vibrant Lygon Street, and has an outstanding reputation for being one of Melbourne’s many art house cinemas. A perfect mix of niche art house independent productions with commercial, shiny Hollywood budget films, Cinema Nova has something for everyone. From the 13th September, it is playing host to film festival Reel Anime 2012, which will show 4 of Tokyo’s newest anime films, celebrating the sheer brilliance of the cutting-edge animation.

Where To Stay

There are places to stay in North Melbourne that will suit every budget, so have no fear! We know the best place to find you a bed. The Melbourne Metro Hostel is the ideal place to kip for all you travellers, with is pleasant city suburb location and 24-hour access. With Internet, Wifi, parking, bicycle hire, a café and rooftop bar and BBQ area with panoramic views of the city, the metro is undoubtedly a great place to rest without spending huge amounts of cash!

For something a little classier Rydges can be found on Flemington Street, and a trusted hotel chain that will undoubtedly make you feel comfortable and at home. Make sure you check out any deals they have for weekend getaways, if there is something worth going to in Melbourne, such a festivals or theatre shows, Rydges often has a jammy package deal to leave you with a little more money for beers!

Perfect for…

The guy or girl who likes an urban vibe. North Melbourne is a suburb for those who enjoy fine tasting food and wine, and social and cultural events that make for great conversation amongst friends!

By Alexandra Macleod

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Traditional Irish Charm Pub Games European Sports Screened Live on Big Screens Specials and Promotions Every Night of The Week The City’s Biggest St Patricks Day Celebration Brisbane’s Best Pub Food - Great Value Meals Every Day Find Us in Queen Street Mall!

171 - 209 Queen Street Basement Level, Wintergarden Centre, Bris.

T: (07) 3211 9881 | F: (07) 3211 9890 www.mickomalleys.com.au

/MickOMalleys @MickOMalleys

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Digger

Charles St

CAIRNS

CHECK THIS OUT - QLD ESPLANADE

Grove St

Gatton St Upward St

Mcleod St

Minnie St

MALL

ESPLANADE

Sheilds

Grafton St

SHOPPING CENTRE

Bunda St

Alpin St

Abbot St

Florence St Lake St

Sheridan St

Water St

Mulgrave Rd

Spence St

Hartley St

CAIRNS HARBOUR

Hartley St

St f r a Wh

THE PIER

REEF TRIP DEPARTURES

Kenny St

Trinity Beach In the tropical climate of the North Queensland suburb of Cairns, visitors who stumble across Trinity Beach may feel they’ve found their perfect haven.

This palm-fringed expanse, a short 20-minute bus ride from the centre of Cairns, is a place of unrelenting variety for travellers keen to not just sun themselves on a golden, sandy beach, but who fancy putting down the bucket and spade and living a little.

Favoured by the locals, Trinity Beach shares the beauty of other areas that make up the Cairns Coral Coast but manages to provide a laid back and relaxed atmosphere, not always found in areas that appeal to younger tourists.

Never fear however. Despite the relaxed vibe, the area has more than enough to satisfy those looking to be entertained.

As you would expect from such a picturesque beachfront enclave, Trinity Beach is not the place for your more hedonistic traveller looking to go berserk of an evening. But this is not to say a wealth of fun cannot still be had.

The Great Barrier Reef is the main reason many a traveller makes the trip to Cairns, meaning the area is awash with activities for when you are tired of sunning yourself and ready to spring into action.

For a start, the beach is very safe for swimming, although it can be a bit rough at times. It may also be wise to keep a beady eye out for a jellyfish or two, depending on the time of year.

“Swimming?!”, I hear you cry. “But I can do that anywhere.” Well then, you are in luck. If you are the kind of person who is looking for something a little more adventurous than frolicking in the water, Trinity Beach certainly does not disappoint.

Snorkelling or scuba diving on the Barrier Reef is essential and trips are possible from nearby Port Douglas. All tour companies and attractions have bus pick-up services – at an extra cost of $20 to $30 – but there is always the option to hire your own car, should you wish to navigate yourself. BBM advises you know where you’re going if you opt for this plan however.

doing.

A full-day Outer Great Barrier Reef snorkelling tour will set you back around $190, including lunch, a thorough briefing and, perhaps most importantly, the presence of a diving instructor.

But what else can we do if that is a little costly, you rightly ask. Well, how about white water rafting on the Tully River, taking in the incredible views from Earl Hill - or a journey on the Kuranda Skyrail?

That being said, it may be somewhat foolish for BBM to ignore the inevitable urge to escape the heat for a while and take in a cocktail and a snack at one of the eateries on the boardwalk.

You’ll be glad to hear that Trinity Beach is home to a surprisingly diverse selection of cuisines (and beers we might add), which include Italian, Indian, Thai and, somewhat inevitably, Australian.

If that seems a little dull however, and you are the sort of person that believes eating is for wimps and would rather take in some sights while plummeting from an aeroplane, then you have also come to the right place.

There are plenty of options to skydive in the surrounding areas, and trips usually range from between $250 to $500 depending on how brave you are.

If this still has not quenched your thirst for action then bungee jumping in the nearby rainforest or wildlife wonders such as Cairns Tropical Zoo or Hartley’s Crocodile Farm surely will.

For deals that include a combination of activities, you may want to have a look at the two-day reef, sky rail combo which (as the name cunningly suggests) includes an Osprey reef cruise to two outer locations, a glass bottom boat tour, snorkelling gear and a trip to Kuranda on the sky rail.

This will set you back $233 per person however, so if you are feeling the financial pinch then you may want to hunt around for something a little more low key.

Despite the wealth of daytime activities, if you are in town and looking to paint it red, Trinity Beach may disappoint somewhat as most places close around 11pm. While there are a host of restaurants, where you can grab an evening meal and perhaps a cocktail or two, the area is somewhat lacking for travellers seeking to get up to no good when the sun goes down.

There are however, some fine places to enjoy a relaxing evening meal and a few drinks, so it is certainly not impossible to find a place to let your hair down after a day of sun, sea… and, well, whatever it is you have been

The Blue Moon Grill offers more than 90 different types of beer and extremely healthy portions if you have built up an appetite. It is also advisable to try a cocktail at Italian Trattoria L’Unica, which boasts impressive views from the Trinity Beach esplanade. Prices range from around $25 to $40 for starter and main course, but you will find cheaper establishments if that is what you require.

Luckily, accommodation is not difficult to find at Trinity Beach but ranges from the luxurious and expensive to the only slightly less modest, so if you don’t fancy splashing the cash you may have your work cut out.

Pricewise, you are looking at anything from $150-a-night beachside villas to slightly more modest studio rooms, albeit with fairly amazing views, which inevitably ramp up the price.

For those on a stricter budget, it’s worth also informing you that package trips can be arranged through a number of channels, which will certainly make your stay a little more affordable.

Trinity Beach is perfect for those who enjoy water sports, adventure sports, and getting to grip with the best of what nature has to offer.

By Dan Colombini

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CHECK THIS OUT - QLD Whale Watching On The East Coast It’s that time of year again, when the Humpback Whales enjoy a dip and a splash along the East coast of Australia. For a day out at sea with the Humpback Whales, visit Queensland between August and November and New South Wales between late May and mid-July. The weather in Queensland will be pretty warm and the sea clear and glittery around this time of year, while in New South Wales it will be cooler across the water making NSW a sweet place for more of a land-based watching experience.

Having swum up north to warmer climates to give birth, between August and December the whales head back down south. They swim close to the surface and at a slower pace with their calves. This makes it prime time for whale watching in the Gold Coast first and then down to NSW. Whale watching may not always be at the top of a bucket list, however, it is more than a day out – it’s an experience to remember for a lifetime.

Taking a step back from the Gold Coast city you feel the waters getting choppier as you take that tentative move out into the great blue abyss before you, leaving civilization a distant memory. Keeping your eyes peeled at all times and scanning the waters, it’s a group effort on the whale watching boats. Of course the crew members are a dab hand with their safari vision while out on the water, but you never know if you may be the one of the lucky first to catch the first glimpse of froth and a slither of bluish-black, snaking out of the water as the Humpback Whales emerge.

As soon as you see this, it’s game on. All eyes are transfixed following the whales every movement whilst smiling. The plume of water that sprays out of the blow hole is surprisingly loud against the dead calm of the sea. This, coupled with the the cutting of the boat engines, is all you can hear, and as close as you may want to get to the whales, boats have to stay 100 meters away from the whales so as not to disturb them.

However, the Gold Coast has perfectly built boats for you to gain the most proficient sightings and the most joy out of your time out at sea. It’s common to spot mothers with their calves at this time of year, and if you’re lucky you may even spot a whole pod. Whales have been known to live as long as 100 years so expect to see generations of the magnificent mammals.

You are promised a sighting within minutes of leaving the Gold Coast, seeing the whales with all their energy and beauty in the glistening ocean. These whales do not sleep; they simply take catnaps throughout the day, using only half their brain to sleep while the other half stays alert to warn them of predators and to come to the surface to take in air regularly.

Getting to see the gentle giants in their natural habitat creates a moment that you will want to last forever. The sheer size of the 40-ton, 52-foot beasts will instantly leave your hairs standing on end, and whilst they’re in town, it’d be rude not to go and pay them a visit. This mammal is purely majestic. The Humpback Whale is a true king of the marine world, leaving you speechless as it breaks the surface.

Snorkel Queensland

Queensland is renowned as one of the best snorkeling spots, not only within Australia but throughout the entire world.

Now is the time to grab your flippers, mask and snorkel and head out into the crystal clear waters that Queensland so beautifully offers. It is easy to forget the vast underwater world that is hidden so gracefully under the ocean’s surface.

A whole world of breath taking, natural beauty awaits, and it is only a short paddle away. With over 1,500 types of fish, 4,000 types of mollusks, 350 types of echinoderms (star fish to you and I) and 400 types of coral, the surface world will look a little grey after a session with a snorkel in this water wonderland!

If you fancy a glance or a swim alongside a giant whale shark, maybe even joining in with a school of Nemo and his mates or chilling with a 50-year-old giant red bass, then snorkeling makes this possible. The Queensland coast is host to five of the world’s seven species of coral trout and the majestic, yet fragile slow-moving seahorses.

Sharks own the ocean, they are the kings of the sea and Australia is renowned for being home to many different varieties, which you may just see if you are lucky. Along the reef, you will often see the black and white-tipped reef sharks, named for the colouring of its pectoral fin tip, the epaulette shark with distinguishing yellow spots just underneath its pectoral fins, the tawny nurse shark often found at the base of corals, and not to mention the mottled bottom-dwelling fringed-mouth wobbegongs (you might have a job saying that last bit quickly).

Across Queensland, there are dive centres along most of the coastline, however, the most popular reside in Port Douglas, Townsville, The Whitsundays, Gladstone, Bundaberg and Cairns. This creates a great path up the coast for anyone travelling north or south to really get stuck into the snorkeling adventure and discover a new passion where you can escape the stress or mundane way of life in the city and feel free to visit the home of the most beautiful and colourful wildlife in the world, and meet a few underwater critters along the way.

Since the 1980s the Great Barrier Reef has been declared a World Heritage site and is classed as one of the most amazing places to visit before you die. Stretching for more than 2,600 Kilometres up through the Coral Sea of Queensland’s north east coast, many of the towns within the coastal area offer great snorkel trips as southerly as Bundaberg all the way to Cape York.

Port Douglas is heralded as the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef, making it easy to get out there and get exploring. Port Douglas has many snorkel

Quick Look Whale Watching Facts • Average Length: (Adult) 35-50 ft (Newborn) 13-16 ft • Average Weight: (Adult) 23-30 tons (Birth) 1-2 tons • Population: 18,000-20,000 (2002 figure) • Lifespan: estimated to be around 45 years • Threats: Human disturbance, caught in fishing nets, and being tangled in marine pollution • While in their breeding grounds- the whales do NOT eat!

• Can stay underwater for 30 minutes but often dives for much shorter periods of time, usually 5 to 10 minutes- making it perfect to get a viewing of these amazing mammal • The flukes (tails) have a very distinct pattern on the underside, unique, much like our fingerprints • The humpback whale breaches more frequently than other whales • The Pacific humpback’s pectoral fins are white underneath & black on top • The Atlantic humpback’s pectoral fins are white on both sides- which makes it easier for us to see them.

school companies to choose from, including trips for smaller groups and larger groups, meaning that you can tailor your snorkel experience to your situation.

Townsville is one of the most popular and premier sites for snorkeling within the Great Barrier Reef. The areas around the reef have many shallow areas well suited to snorkeling rather than diving and less confident swimmers.

The Whitsundays is famous for being home to the most colourful of tropical fish and sea turtles. Not only is the Whitsundays a dream just to visit, it would be a damn shame for you to not see what is underneath that sublime turquoise expanse whilst out at the islands.

Bundaberg is a great little town with a welcoming atmosphere and warm, crystal waters to match. Head out to Lady Musgrave Island as the islands around are a true coral paradise where snorkelers can discover sea urchins, jewelled starfish and clams.

Warning

Men and hairy women beware! Make sure you are tash-less as your mask will not stick. Hair = no suction. If you’ve got a little bit of stubble you can cover this in Vaseline to help secure the mask.

Do not venture out into the sea on your own to snorkel, make sure you are always with a friend or an instructor.

Make sure you learn all the diving signals in case you run into any trouble.

Always remain calm when in the water, especially if you are deep down.

If you’re wearing flippers, remember to walk out backward out of the water, as you will trip and fall and most likely scratch yourself up if you’re on the coral strewn shores of the Whitsundays.

Cairns is the daddy of places to really let loose with your snorkel. Get away from the party life of the city and head into the waters to free yourself of a stinking hangover. One look into your mask and a deep breath into your snorkel and you will reveal a haven of rainbow corals and larger than life sea turtles.

With most marine activity taking place in the top four metres of the ocean, and the water being as turquoise and clear as it is, you won’t miss a thing in these popular snorkeling destinations. When visibility is at a premium, 30 metres can be seen throughout the ocean, making your session melt away your troubles as you look deep into the vibrant reef.

With the Great Barrier Reef being a wonder of the world, you would be insane to miss out. As the underwater scenes change in size and colour, your eyes will be mesmerised and you won’t want to get back into the boat. No matter what your experience when it comes to snorkeling, the instructor will be on hand to help and snorkel schools will provide life jackets or noodle floats to keep you on top. However, please remember that snorkeling can be a slightly strenuous activity and so a certain level of fitness is required. The inner reef is perfect for snorkeling whist the outer reef is geared to diving. Snorkeling is the cheaper way to enjoy the azure ocean to its full potential - creating an escape as you bob along the surface staring down into the abyss.

Divers would of course argue that snorkeling does not compare, but they need to take a moment and remember that snorkeling is fun, relaxing and gives you an insight into the world of the unknown and infinite wonderment that is the ocean.

By Frankie Salt

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HITTING THE ROAD From the Gold Coast to the Whitsundays This is the second leg of the journey after seeing the southern side of the east coast starting with Byron Bay, through to the Gold Coast. With two of the major tours and activities taking place throughout this leg of the trip, this would suggest that this is going to be the part to break the bank. However, the fact that you spend a lot of your time away at sea or on the islands means that after you have paid for your trip; there is not much to spend your dollar on (phew).

Queue the views, which you will carry with you for eternity. Many a breathtaking moment is to be had and there are also lots of people to meet to share these moments with forever. Brisbane through to the Whitsundays is famous for a reason; it is a unique and very special part of Australia that is worth every cent and every last drop of road-tripping energy. Forget the city life when you leave Brisbane and head for the tropical paradise of Fraser Island and the Whitsundays. Believe BBM, you won’t be disappointed!

Things to do in Brisbane

It’s time to leave the Gold Coast and head to the city of Brisbane. There is so much to see and do it may be tricky deciding what is best to invest your time in. This is where BBM comes in handy to guide you on the best possible road trip with all the details.

Riding in a camper up the East Coast From Brisbane to the Whitsundays is an easy to follow with lots of things to do and see. From Brisbane to Hervey Bay, where you will find the wonderful Fraser Island is not too far away, the drive is conveniently under 4 hours. However, when returning from Fraser Island, you may find the next leg a little too much to do in one stint. If there is more than one of you living ‘la vida loca camper life’, taking it in turns to drive a couple of hours in rotation will make the journey a little less strenuous. Just beware that Fraser Island is quite a jam packed few days with plenty to do, wildlife to see and lots of goon to be sampled. Therefore it is quite a nice idea to return from Fraser Island and use the amenities of the hostels around the area to have a chill out day. You are travelling and holidaying after all and this East Coast trip is a marathon not a sprint.

Brisbane is one of the largest cities of Australia, home to over 2 million people and is the capital of Queensland state. This city doesn’t scream a holiday vibe but there is plenty to see and do whilst visiting along with a sub-tropical climate to really get you in the mood for a good time. Popular tourist and recreation areas in Brisbane include the South Bank Parklands, Roma Street Parkland, the City Botanic Gardens and the Brisbane Forest Park. The Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary also opened its doors in 1927 and was the world’s first and finest koala sanctuary for all of you animal lovers out there. This area is built for backpackers with many hostels and travel agents to get you about the place.

Story Bridge Adventure Climb

If you want to feel at the heart of Brisbane with the vista of a glistening skyline and winding rive in front of you, the Bridge Climb is at the top of list when visiting this city. Learn more about the city than the residents as you are guided to the top of the bridge. Get your adrenaline pumping and feel free as a bird as you climb to the top or abseil back into the city scene below. Just remember that what goes up must come down and this is not exempt with the Adventure Climb where you can also abseil back down to the starting point and back to reality, gaining your climb certificate - perfect for bragging about down at the pub. There are group offers and Facebook promotions most of the year and so make sure you and your mates check it out before hand.

Riverlife Adventure Centre

Riverlife Adventure Centre gets nothing but rave reviews, but then with the diverse selection of activities and the low prices, you can immediately see why. Depending on when you want to visit, there are many different kinds of things to do but booking is usually essential. For example the $69 offer of ‘Paddles and Prawns’ will take you kayaking through the city for 1.5 hours, before venturing out for beers and prawns. There are also classes to learn traditional Aboriginal song and dance or to watch a performance on Saturday nights.

Naval Stores Lower River Terrace, Kangaroo Point, Brisbane, QLD 4169 (07) 3891 5766 www.riverlife.com.au

Castlemaine - Perkins XXXX Brewery Tour

Walking twenty minutes west of the Transit Centre will take you to the golden nectar heaven that is the Perkins XXXX Brewery Tour. Leave the camper at the hotel and wander through town without having to worry about having to drive back. Adult entry involves beer tastings and a grand tour of the brewery itself. If you plan to visit on the weekend, there is a great beer and barbeque day, which includes ale and a barbequed food - perfect.

185 Milton Road Milton QLD 4064 (07) 3361 7597 www.xxxx.com.au

Accommodation Tinbilly

Tinbillys states that it is “Crazy, Cool, Comfortable & Convenient” standing only five minutes from Brisbane CBD and only a short walk from the sky link, it is the most convenient backpackers in town. Each room comes with air conditioning and lockers as standard and they even supply the rice and pasta to keep you pumped on your travels. For the budget traveler they have the Tin Bar and grill serving good food and drink at great prices. Dorms start at $20 and there are different rooms for the different traveler depending if you are on a budget or if you want to splash out.

466 George Street, Brisbane, QLD 4000 (07) 3238 5888 www.tinbilly.com

170 Main Street, Kangaroo Point, QLD 4169 1300 254 627 www.storybridgeadventureclimb.com.au

SURFERS SURFERS PARADISE PARADISE •• GOLD GOLD COAST COAST

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS Right in the centre of town Next to the bus transit centre One block to the beach, shops & clubs FREE resort facilities : tropical pool, spa, tennis & squash 24 hour internet cafe plus Wi-Fi, bar, restaurant, tour desk & bottleshop

$5 DISCOUNT

REF: BBM

Stay for 2 nights & get a $5 discount. Present this page on check-in. New bookings only (4-6 bed dorms). Valid to 31 December 2012.

BOOK NOW! 1800 074 393 Cnr. Beach Road & Surfers Paradise Blvd

Email res@islander.com.au www.islander.com.au/backpackers

Find us on Facebook Islander Backpackers Resort

THE MOST CENTRAL HOSTEL IN SURFERS PARADISE 20 BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM BBMLIVE.COM

HITTING THE ROAD Bunk

This is the place to be if you want to meet a good crew and have some top nights out. Bunk has got it right when it comes to making sure visitors have a great time. On the edge of the city and close to China Town, Bunk is on the cheaper end of the scale at $18 per person, per night, and has a great travel desk to help you plan your next adventures.

11/21 Gipps Street, Fortitude Valley, QLD 4006 (07) 3257 3644 www.bunkbrisbane.com.au

Hotel Rendezvous

If you’re on a bit of a higher budget and fancy something a little more luxurious then Hotel Rendezvous is just the ticket. With individually styled rooms and 24-hour service, your camper could even be valeted in the free parking at the hotel whilst you relax. Perfect for a romantic get away in the deluxe rooms or go for the studio room if you want to keep things a little cheaper and share with a friend.

255 Ann Street, Brisbane, QLD 4000 (07) ­3001 9888 www.rendezvoushotels.com/brisbaneanzacsquare

Bars, Pubs and Clubs Mick O’Malleys

Mick O’Malleys is Irish through and through. Good drinks, food and open mic nights a plenty with great promotions most days of the week. From Moroccan spiced burgers to rump steaks and daily fresh fish selections, you will find yourself at O’Malleys for every occasion without having to worry about spends. Live sport and a buzzing atmosphere, this place will give you a royal Irish welcome and make you never want to leave,

pimped four-wheel drive jeep. A short ferry ride later and you arrive at the Island and see the beautiful sands, trees and jungle as you drive through to the first stop. Humans have resided here for 5000 years and this island still has a population of 360 people. The tour guide takes you through each and every part of the islands, where you will envisage shipwrecks, rivers, and quick sand and more than anything you will experience wild life such as wild dingoes. This island is unique and exciting, with views which will take your breath away, with history, which will blow your mind.

Most tours cost around the $400 mark for a 2night/3day tour of the island.

This includes your four-wheel drive which you drive around the island yourself in groups of six with the guide being the leader. The first night you will sleep under the stars in the set up camps on the island. After a second day of discovering, there are purpose built hostels in parts of the island for you and your mates to barbeque drink and sleep.

Palace Adventures & Accommodation

Usually taken on the tours in groups of around 25, the guide knows each and every part of the island like the back of his hand, making sure it is fun, yet educative for the teams that travel from point to point in the passion wagons. All tour companies for Fraser Island want you to enjoy every moment, but Palace Adventures seem to have the set up just right. You will see the shipwreck on the horizon as you drive through to the Indian head rock formations and back into the jungle, goose bumps will take over your body and the sights will feed your heart and soul. Palace Adventures have a great hostel for you to use before and after the trip, recently renovated and one night’s stay is free for those doing the two-night tour over at Fraser.

184 Torquay Road, Scarness QLD 4655 1800 063 168 www.palaceadventures.com.au

Hervey Bay has always been a popular spot up the coast from Brisbane and is massively appealing due to the close proximity to Fraser Island and popular whale watching spots. Whale watching is a much sought after activity in Hervey Bay with Humpback whales migrating along the coast between April and October. Before the whales set off to the Antarctica, they use Hervey Bay to rest and build up some serious swimming energy. Hervey bay has a relaxing atmosphere and lots of accommodation for the huge traveler clan, which you will find chilling on the beach talking about their Fraser Island excitement or experience.

195 Torquay Terrace, Torquay, QLD 4655 (07) 4124 1366 Www.flashpackersherveybay.com

Bars, Pubs and Clubs Hoolihans

Hoolies is the perfect hang out in Hervey Bay with a menu to cater for whatever you and your mates fancy after a day at the beach. If you’re feeling a little homesick and fancy a proper roast, not just on a Sunday, sink those gnashers into the slow roasted pork belly with a pure Irish pint!

382 Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 (07) 4194 0099 www.hoolies.com.au

Coast

Coast is a great hang out for any meal of the day or if you fancy a glass of wine after a long day at the beach. They have live music on a Sunday where you can sit and enjoy the view, the sea breeze and taste some local cuisine.

The food tastes fresh and healthy, the menu a really well thought out list of meals to suit any palette.

469 Charlton Esplanade, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 (07) 4125 5454 www.coastherveybay.com.au

Things to do in Fraser Island Fraser Island is a beautiful world heritage sight and the biggest sand island in the world covering 1840 km². Fraser Island is a huge highlight for many travelers whilst in Australia with an extensive selection of tours to choose from. From your hostel in Hervey Bay, you will head to the ferry port in your

One of the major companies in the Whitsundays, Oz Sail has the greatest selection of boats to choose from depending on the kind of trip you and your companions want to experience. Mandrake, Spank Me and the Avatar are the most popular boats which will become your home for up to three days whilst sailing around the islands. Whether you are solo travelling, in a large group or just with your partner, you can decide where you wish to sleep. For instance, within the Avatar - purpose built triamaran, there are small pods within the wings of the boat, which are perfect for two people to sleep in, and so ideal for couples who wish for a ‘honeymoon suite’ style getaway.

Check out caves of wonder with Aboriginal paintings and snorkel in the most crystal clear waters where you can see the reef as clear as day. All food is supplied so you just take some good plonk and a smile out to the Whitsundays for a sailing holiday of a lifetime.

Shop 3, 398 Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, QLD 4802 (07) 4946 6877 www.ozsail.com.au

25 Ocean View Avenue, Airlie Beach, QLD 4802 (07) 4946 6848 www.oceanrafting.com.au

Accommodation

Friendly Hostel

Everyone enjoys a little luxury and why not? This hostel provides free breakfast, free Wi-Fi and welcomes you with a party. Flashpackers even offer free food some evenings throughout the week, super comfy beds and courtesy buses to take you around the town. Flashpackers is affordable even for those on a budget, making it the top place in Hervey Bay for a major relaxation session before heading off to Fraser Island.

Oz Sail

Award winning Ocean Rafting is eco accredited and departs daily from the Coral Sea Resort in Airlie Beach.

Accommodation

Flashpackers Hostel

Things to do in the Whitsundays

Looking for an adventure? Then Ocean Rafting could just be the adrenalin ride for you. In the stunning Whitsundays, from the holiday town of Airlie Beach, Ocean Rafting takes guests on an exhilarating ride to the beautiful Whitsunday Islands and world-famous Whitehaven Beach. An Ocean Rafting trip allows you to snorkel at pristine reefs, experience stunning views of famous Hill Inlet and sink your toes into the brilliant white sand that makes Whitehaven Beach one of the top beaches in the world. Taking only small groups, you get to experience a thrilling ride on a semi rigid inflatable vessel built for speed and maneuverability and the adventure of the “wild side” where there are no resorts, just the natural pristine beauty of the Islands and the marine life.

Things to do in Hervey Bay

182 Torquay Rd, Pialba, QLD 4655 (07) 4124 4107 www.friendlyhostel.com.au/pages

Now that you’ve enjoyed exploring the land, the Whitsundays is the perfect chance to entertain your inner water baby. For all you sea captains out there who love the turquoise waters and pearly white sands, the Whitsundays will be a haven of sailing dreams for you. Out to sea for three days/two nights, there are many different boats to choose from. They are a collection of continental islands, all different shapes of sizes, with boats to match, which are a paradise beyond belief.

Ocean Rafting

Wintergardens Centre Shop B1, 171-209 Queen Street, Brisbane QLD 4000 (07) 3211 9881 www.mickomalleys.com.au

Friendly Hostel doesn’t only just do what it says on the tin; this hostel is different to other hostels you will find along the coast. With smaller dorms and smaller prices, Friendly Hostel is a very popular spot for travelers of all shapes and sizes whilst on a road trip. For a three bed apartment which will house 8 people, the cost is $180 which is still cheaper than most hostels but it means you and your mates have a little privacy if you are getting fed up with splitting’ up to fit into the available dorm space. From Friendly, you can book tours to Fraser Island, the Whitsundays, whale watching in the famous Hervey Bay and also a funny day out on electric scooters.

Whitsundays

Accommodation for all budgets can be found throughout the Whitsundays.

From the sophisticated resorts of Hayman Island and Beach Club on Hamilton Island, to the adults only hideaway at Peppers Palm Bay. However if you decide to book onto an island tour, you need not worry about finding the perfect hotel, as you’ll be sleeping on board and getting your sea legs!

Things to do in Airlie Beach Airlie beach is a town in the Whitsundays region, better known as the gateway to paradise. If you love the chill out vibe of Byron, Airlie beach has a similar feel to it. Full of hostels, bars and a great lagoon to swim in - Airlie is a very laid back town making it easy to meet people before you head off to the barrier reef or the Whitsunday islands.

Accommodation Beaches Backpackers

With free parking, free linen and smiles with lots of entertainment every night whilst you stay at Beaches, you will be right in the middle of the madness of Airlie Beach at this hostel. Check out their website for their specials, and find them right in the heart of Airlie, opposite the lagoon and supermarket.

As you sail back into the harbour of Airlie Beach, you won’t want to step back into reality, but all good things must come to an end, and the rest of the coast is waiting there for you. So head to the camper, sit back and enjoy the rest of your East Coast adventure. Next stop…Mission Beach and Cairns.

By Frankie Salt

Start point: Gold Coast. Destination: Whitsundays Gold Coast to Brisbane – 80.3 km – 1 hour Brisbane to Hervey Bay – 290 km – 3 hours 40 minutes Hervey Bay to Fraser Island (return) – ferry crossing time 50 minutes Hervey Bay to Airlie Beach (Whitsundays) -875 km - 10 hours 20 minutes

356 Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, QLD 4802 (07) 4946 6244 www.beaches.com.au

Whitsunday On The Beach

These apartments are self-catering hubs of privacy and luxury.

Beautifully appointed with a balcony or patio, each apartment has a kitchenette and Wi-Fi, with only a short walk to the shops, bars and marina. The staff here cannot do enough for you whilst you stay at Whitsunday On The Beach.

269 Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, QLD 4802 (07) 4946 6359 www.whitsundayonthebeach.com

Bar, Pubs and Clubs Magnums

At the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef, Magnums is host to the best night out and the cheapest accommodation in Airlie Beach. With deals going off left, right and center, you won’t have to wander about looking for a good deal when you arrive, just pop your camper into the free parking and drop your bags into their great rooms before heading out into the town. With beat boxing nights, a huge beer garden and jelly wrestling as standard, book your Whitsundays trips here and then kick back, relax and have a great time down at Magnums.

366 Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, QLD 4802 (07) 4964 1199 www.magnumshotel.com.au

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JOKES arm. “Who’s that woman with Moishe?” asks the wife. “That’s his mistress,” he says. “Eeah” she says, “Ours is prettier”.

Laura, Tonbridge A student created the following book report to compare ‘Titanic’ with ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton. He put forward the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

Jenny, Manly Titanic: The story of their forbidden love, catastrophe.

Clinton: The story of their forbidden love, catastrophe.

Jack and Rose, and subsequent Bill and Monica, and subsequent

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.

Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Another new Illness to watch out for.... Anal Glaucoma A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“I have a case of anal glaucoma,” she says in a weak voice.

“What the hell is anal glaucoma?”

“I can’t see my ass coming into work today.”

Tom, Richmond A Jewish husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table and gives him a big kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she is my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I vant a divorce!” “I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it vill mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more vintering in Barbados, no more summers inTuscany and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.” Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.

Clinton:Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.

Clinton:Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:Jack teaches Rose to spit.

Clinton: Let’s not go there.

Titanic:Rose gets to keep her jewellery Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.

Clinton:Clinton remembers Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic:Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.

Clinton: Monica...ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.

Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

Mike, Oxford

Whenever I drink lager, I beat the wife.

It’s an excellent demonstration of Coors and effect.

said I was two days old.” “Did it hurt?”, the kid asked inquiringly. “You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

John, Kings Cross

Graham, Adelaide

What goes ‘BANG!’ followed by complete stillness?

The deaf men’s 100 metre final.

Peter, Melbourne

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face.

Bob, Kingston

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, “Would you rub this lotion into my back please?”

“I’m afraid I’m only here for the day,” I replied.

Tia, Fitzroy As me and the wife headed off on a romantic holiday we talked about what kinky things we’d like to do to each other.

She said, “I’ve always wanted to be handcuffed.”

So I planted a kilo of coke in her suitcase.

Jen, Paddington A Professor was giving a lecture on “Involuntary Muscular Contractions” to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, “Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?”

She replied, “Probably getting pissed with his mates.”

Rob, Perth A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...’Looking for man with these qualifications; won’t beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.’ She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, “Hi, I’m Bob. I have no arms so I won’t beat you up and no legs so I won’t run away.”

So the lady says, “What makes you think you are great in bed?” Bob replies, “I rang the door bell didn’t I?” Leanne, Sydney Two five-year-old boys are standing at the toilet to pee.

One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”.

“I’ve been circumcised.”, the other replied.

“What’s that mean?” “It means they cut the skin off the end.” “How old were you when it was cut off?” “My mom

When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, “Just use a fucking spoon, Mike.

You’re not a Jedi.”

Helen, Broadwater I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name, do I? Jim, Perth Three guys went to a ski lodge, the rooms are full, so they have to share a room with one bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this very wild dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and said “That’s unbelievable, I had the same dream too!”. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”

Sam, South Melbourne I asked a fortuneteller to read my future. Suddenly, she went pale and sprinted from the room. So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased the bitch down and beat her to death. I wonder what the hell she saw in that thing.

Jake, Fitzroy I got an e-mail saying ‘At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!’ I thought, “That’s just spam.”

Nick, Surry Hills I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.” He said, “You have a wee cough?” I said, “Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!”

Tristan, Paddington I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it... so I said “Implants?”

Pippa, Darlinghurst

Pants

(pants) n.

1. An amalgamation of Pommy and Rants 2. Things you use to cover your dangly bits.

Brits Abroad

When travelling and living in Australia there are many things that become apparent- the weather is generally awesome, the country itself is fucking massive, the lifestyle consists of sun, swimming and surfing and for every friendly Australian there is a whining, pasty Brit on Tour.

You would think when flying to the other side of the world that you would be faced with, well, Australian folk. However it turns out that Brits abroad have taken over and moved in. It’s like an attack of the clones. Thousands upon thousands of irritating English and Irish people line the streets and bars of every major city down under. Now being British myself the content of this article might sound a little… self-deprivating? However I feel the need to express my annoyance about my nation. I left the country for a good reason, to travel and expand my knowledge and grow as a person, experiencing new cultures and meeting new people, not bump into every Tom, Dick and what’s his face from the UK. Its like you are reminded of all the annoying things about your country when you meet people from there.

Number One: The pasty white skin on Bondi Beach that very rapidly - in a matter of minutes transforms to the brightest of ruby red. It’s like hundreds of giant killer lobsters crawled out of the sea; grew beer bellies, wore bad hair extensions and bikinis that are way too small for them and hung around of Bondi Beach. It’s unmistakable who is a Brit on Bondi, we are just a breed of our own. If you are heading down to Bondi Team GB will most likely be; attempting to flirt with Australians in the most shameful and pitiful manner, playing really bad football, (but thinking they look like Messi) being louder and more embarrassing than anyone else, moaning about how it’s too hot, but refusing to sit in the shade.

You might also occasionally hear the infamous ‘Brits on Tour’ chants, if this happens and you happen to be British: WALK ON. Do not join in, no matter how tempting it may be to make friends. You are better than that.

Number Two: I hate to say it but we moan about everything. Whenever I meet a fellow Pom the conversation always seems to progress into a whining battle where we are both reeling off factors about the country that piss us off. I am not proud of this fact, especially as the Aussies refer to us as ‘whinging pommies’ and they hit the nail on the head with that one. If we are not complaining about the expense of Australia we are moaning about the heat, our sunburn, how big the place is, how the nightlife isn’t as good as back home, how you cant get a decent roast dinner, (no Yorkshire puddings) the lads complain about Aussie girls not putting out as much as the Brits do, they miss their mum, gran, cat, cousin 3 times removed and 6 ft under. Basically they complain about everything. Really they should be sent home if they commit too many complaints. But the thing is British people just love to have a good old rant, we don’t mean any offense its just our nature - you get rained on enough times you just turn into a sour bitch.

Number Three: We steal anything and everything we can get our greasy little mitts on. Now of course I am not guilty of this myself, I am a well brought up gal with her morals well in check…sort of. But it seems that we feel we are owed something by Australia because of its expense. If you stay in a backpackers hostel it’s like your hanging out in a high security prison chatting to fellow inmates about what you managed to get away with from your last hostel fridge, the camper van you hired or the local bars. A lot of the time it’s not even useful items; a napkin dispenser, some warm beers that were half opened in someone else’s campervan or of course a road cone. We will just nick anything, funny seeing as that’s what got people to Australia in the first place those many moons ago. Seems the British haven’t really evolved from back then, plus it isn’t going to get you a lifetime in paradise anymore. You’re just left with pointless shit to carry around. Not so bonza mate.

By Kayleigh McCue

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Label.M Curl Cream

For September we’ve selected the best of spring fashion. While the rest of the world braces itself for winter, Australia dwellers prepare to bust out their flip flops, but first there’s spring style to deal with, and we’re here to make that awkward crossover a whole lot easier. Whether you’re after new shoes, skirts, or just that perfect beauty product to swear by for summer – you want it, we’ve found it.

Converse All Star Hi Raspberry Tangerine Leopard SMU

An exclusive to Office, these funky ‘tangerine and raspberry’ coloured Converse All Star trainers are the best way to liven up you spring wardrobe. Ticking all the style boxes, with neons, animal print and clashing colour blocks, they’ll last you right through to festival season and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. Try with all black and matching neon jewellery for the perfect colour pop effect.

Available from Office.com - $70

ASOS Tiered Layer Maxi Skirt

The maxi is set to hold its place as a must have item yet again this summer. As spring approaches, this floaty double layered mesh and lace skirt is the perfect way to make that seasonal transition. With a cute vintage/gypsy feel, this versatile maxi is great all year round and can be teamed with heals, sandals or plimsolls, you could even team it with a plain crop top for retro glam or a patterned bra-let for a more modern, clashing style.

Available from ASOS.com - $41

Fred Perry Jefferson PU Shoes AW12

Available in carbon blue or chocolate these Fred Perry shoes epitomise smart casual. With a classic trainer style combined with soft leather and mature, muted shades, these Jefferson shoes are ideal for anyone guy looking for an alternative to flip flops or scruffy hi-tops. Known for their classy yet casual look, Fred Perry’s spring range is a cut above the rest when it comes to menswear, and these shoes match almost any outfit, night or day.

Available from fredperry.com - $120

Not only does Label M’s curling cream promote effortless beach babe tousles without the worry of sea salt drying out your hair, it’s actually good for it too!

With jojoba, bran and sunflower extracts, it’s not often you can say that your hair products are actually helping it grow as well. The obvious choice for any girl desperate for a perfect head of glossy curls, Label.M’s heat protection means that out in the sun, or under straighteners, your hair will look gorgeous no matter what you put it through.

Available from salons - $18

RVCA Beat Keeper Sheer Striped Shirt

Sheer shirts have been all the rage for a while now, and with no sign of slowing down, it’s time to funk up the look. This stripy, cropped number is less referee and more rock chick, teamed with high waisted shorts or some spray on black skinnies, it’s bound to turn some heads. Far from just another chiffon shirt, its batwing sleeves and gold buttons make sure that you will stand out from the crowd.

Available from RVCA at Surfdome.com - $80

ASOS Clubmaster Sunglasses With Black Lens

These Clubmaster Sunglasses by ASOS are the best way to get ready for summer on a budget.

An essential for both guys and girls, Clubmasters are officially the new wayfarers. The discount price makes them the perfect spring purchase, as we all know how easy it is to lose or break your expensive sunnies before summer’s even started. Tortoiseshell frames add to the cool retro look which will go with any outfit whether you’re off for a day on the beach or and evening in a beer garden.

Available from ASOS.com - $18

Billabong Cherokee Aztec Print Hand Bag

Aztec is another style showing no intention of fading this year. Sure, you’ve stocked up over the past three summers, but everyone needs a new bag, right? Perfect for festivals, shopping, or just a lazy day about town, this Billabong fringed bag I bang on trend with its tassled edges, Navajo inspired print and practical midi size. Neutral colours mean it’s easy to match without dominating an outfit.

Available from Billabong at Surfdome.com - $65

By Ella White

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BBM's Apps Of The Month From an app that stores all of Melbourne’s best-kept secrets, to one that plans your entire holiday, we’ve sourced you all the best new downloads for your smart phone this month.

We’ve also sorted you out with an app which means you’ll never stumble over an awkward pub quiz question again.

So don’t blame us if you’re suddenly glued to your phone even more than usual...

Swarm.fm Spotify App

Spotify is an all-time favourite for most music lovers. And now the Swarm. fm Spotify App is here, making everything that little bit easier. The app, which won first prize at Spotify’s Music Apps Hack Weekend, combines deep exploration with rich personalised recommendations, to give fans their very own ‘music universe’ to uncover.

Swarm.fm uses the Facebook Open Graph to find relevant music activity from your friends and then makes it instantly playable on Spotify. You can browse through the activity feed and check out any friend’s music taste.

There’s also an option to ‘mute’ people who have crap music taste, so there’ll be no nasty Justin Bieber-shaped surprises. Harsh but fair.

Free - Available on all computers

Melbourne Peculiar App

Melbourne Peculiar is a guide to the things about Melbourne that are a little bit odd or distinctive. The city is famous for its culinary delights, arty streak and fabulous fashion. It’s also renowned for its eccentricities and tucked away treasures.

This app aims to surprise even its own Melburnians by revealing the city’s most exciting well-kept secrets. Learn about ghosts, macabre history, the graves of strange inventors, the weird public art, some unusual dishes for the jaded palate and the kitschy architectural touches.

$2.99 – Available for iPhone and Android.

Melbourne Literary App

This app will take you on an inspiring journey down Melbourne’s long and winding literary path. Come across great writers and books of every genre as you explore via this exciting new app. Compile your next library list by browsing for the city’s finest writers, or get out there and discover the best literary haunts. Funky bookshops, forgotten monuments and ‘hip lit’ cafes are all on the list.

The app consists of 161 entries, all about books, authors, publishers and bookshops to visit, as well as links to online bookshops where featured titles can be purchased. After downloading the app, you will also be guaranteed regular updates featuring rich information on the literary history of Melbourne. This app is a total must for self-confessed bookworms.

$3.99 – Available for iPhone

iTranslate

There’s nothing more awkward than ordering the wrong dish in a restaurant or forgetting how to ask for a beer when you’re on holiday.

Now, you can avoid the frog legs in France faux pas by simply using this handy app to guarantee you never put another foreign foot wrong.

Whether you’re out travelling, trying to learn a new language or lumbered with your little brother’s Spanish homework, you’ll never be at a loss again. The clever app combines voice recognition, machine translation and voice output in one small package. Translate words, phrases and entire sentences in more than 50 different languages and never carry a dictionary around again!

Free – Available for iPhone and Android

TouristEye

This is the ultimate app for any tourist out there who wants an easy way to explore. TouristEye includes a world travel guide with offline maps, city tours, transport maps and bookings. Plan your whole trip with this app, down to the smallest detail.

What’s really clever, is that the travel guide learns from you and your friends and therefore makes personalised recommendations with info for more than 10,000 destinations. Tourist Eye does everything in super-fast time and it’s all offline, to help you save on those hefty roaming fees.

Free – Available for iPhone and Android

The World Factbook 2012

Never stumble over a Geography question at the pub quiz with this useful app. With up to date, reliable information about more than 250 countries, you can become the biggest geek ever and impress your mates with your endless knowledge.

Topics addressed include natural resources, GDP, religion and the legal system. The user interface is smart and snappy, meaning you can look everything up extra quick so you won’t get caught cheating at the quiz…

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By Anna Tabrah

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INTERVIEWS Blondie

Blondie are one of the most iconic bands of all time. Who hasn’t drunkenly tried their hand at ‘Heart Of Glass’ at karaoke or sung along to ‘Rapture’? Having enjoyed success for so many years, they’ve had evolving influences and more experiences of touring than we’ve had hot dinners. Blondie’s drummer, Clem Burke, talks to us about working with Debbie Harry, playing to thousands of people and what’s coming up for Blondie in the future.

Hey! How are you doing?

I’m fine today, just getting ready for our U.S tour. We’re touring with Devo, which we’re looking forward to.

You’re playing at Homebake, Sydney too. Are you looking forward to that?

I think we’re the first international band to headline that, which is exciting.

What’s it like being part of one of the most iconic bands to date?

Well it’s something I’ve gotten used to over the years I guess – not to be taken for granted though! We had a lot of early success in Australia and rather than just being a US band, we’re very much an international band and play all over the world, which is great. I think other bands who have had success in the States didn’t particularly translate around the world the way we did.

You’ve enjoyed success for a long time as a band. What do you think bands have to do to get to that stage?

A bit of innovation at the time when you form and doing something a bit different that time catches up with. We were a part of the whole ‘heebie jeebie’ New York music movement which has assimilated into popular culture nowadays and we’re one of the few bands who are still relatively together from back in that era. We also had a fantastic image with Debbie as a front person, we had a bit of eye-candy, and I think we were just different at that time.

How much is it about the music?

The music is what stands out. The songs are the main thing now. An image changes, an image can fall by the wayside as people age, but the musicianship continues.

Do you think there have been any significant changes to the way you perform over the years?

I think you get more confident as you get a bit older and it’s still very exciting to play to thousands of people, there’s no doubt about that. I don’t want to say performing is an addiction or an obsession, but it is a gratifying experience to perform your music to people who are enjoying it.

Is there a song you particularly enjoy performing, one the crowd really responds to?

If you’ve got a new song, that’s always fun to perform.

It’s fun to do something unexpected with that, to debut it.

But then when you’ve got a song that’s very iconic and recognisable like a part of ‘Rapture’ you can sense the exuberance of the audience.

What effect do you want your music to have on people?

We were never really a particularly dark band, so it’s more like a party when we perform. The music is probably a little bit more uplifting in general. There’s a dark side to it, there’s an edge to us as people because of coming from New York City, that being where we grew up. But the music is more about sending out a positive message and feeling. That’s how our music affects people, we don’t want them to feel down when they’re listening to Blondie.

At what point as a band did you realise you had ‘made it’?

Oh jeez, I don’t know. It’s a rollercoaster ride. You could be selling out a club to 300 people and then you sell out theatres to 3000 people and then suddenly you’re playing to 30,000 people. There are career highs and also career lows. I think when you realise you’ve been doing this for such a long time that’s got to be part of making it. When you’re able to have a career and make a life out of it. And of course the money helps!

What things have influenced your music?

Growing up in New York, being the melting pot that it is, there’s a lot of culture around you. That’s why you see

We heard from some of our team that you rocked Secret Garden Party. How was it for you?

Great, as always! We were there two years ago, and we knew that it was a special venue, with a special audience, and, of course, special moments! We had the chance to be in a full band configuration, which never happens when we play abroad, so it was even more special!

What’s your summer been like so far?

Exhausting, but fantastic. We lived everything that can happen during that particular season, from cancelled gigs because of storms, to huge crowds under the sun.

It’s always an adventure and a chance to do our job during summer!

Caravan Palace Caravan Palace are a French band with a strong Electro Swing and Gypsy Jazz vibe.

Before they even released an album, they were touring and attracting fans wherever they went. Soon they had built up such a big fan base that an album became inevitable and they released their first irresistible single, ‘Jolie Coquine’.

Your sound is very unique. Where do you take your inspiration from?

The result of a crossover is often something particular.

Our own inspiration comes from the thousands of hours listening to swing music on one side, and dancing in nightclubs on the other side. And, strangely, both of them accommodate quite well, with a little work!

How would you describe your sound to festival goers who might not have heard your music before?

Electroswing results of the crossing between 20s and 50s swing music and contemporary electronic music. It sounds like our grand parents dancing on a Daft Punk song, if you prefer!

What can fans expect from your new album ‘Panic!’? How is it different from the last?

We were intrigued to find out more about the band, consisting of Sonia Fernandez Velasco, Arnaud Vial, Hugues Payen, Camille Chapelière, Charles Delaporte and Antoine Toustou. BBM spoke to one sixth (Hugo aka Hugues Payen) of Caravan Palace to hear all about the inspiration for their music and just how they came up with that random band name…

When we made the first album, we “only” knew a little part of swing music, the jazz manouche side. For this album, we discovered unknown artists (mostly American) and moods of that genre, and tried to “arrange” it with our new tastes in electronic music, which is a very lively music. It results in a wide variety of sounds and textures, a lot more than in the first album.

Hey! How are you? What have you been up this week?

We love the first single of the album ‘Clash.’

What were the thoughts behind the single?

So fine! After touring for the last 3 months, we have a break for 10 days...

So what was the first thing that went through your mind when you woke up this morning?

Personally am in Brittany, so my first thought is, of course: “how is the weather today?”

How have you guys been preparing for your upcoming tour? Are you excited?

We had the time to prepare while... touring! We have been on tour since the release of the album in France (March 5th), so we work on the little details we don’t like for now, and that we’d like to improve for the autumn for our gigs in the UK and Germany.

When we started working on this song, we were to build it around a “carnival” theme, but we soon realized that it sounded more like a battle, in a ring with a speaker presenting the fight! We often say that “Clash.” is “the meanest song in electroswing”!

You started out as a band of three and had to recruit more members via Myspace... How did you select them?

“Recruit” is maybe not the more appropriate term for that! When we registered on Myspace, our main idea was to find a singer, and the day we registered, Colotis Zoe wrote us that she’d adore working with us! She went to a gig we had in a Parisian bar a few days later, and here we are! Toustou was a friend of a friend of a friend, who was told that we were looking

the band exploring with different types of things, whether it be Disco, Rap or Dance music. You’re just influenced by the art, the people, by the architecture. Most stages in life you can incorporate into your music, I think that’s what we’re a product of. We’re definitely an urban band and the sound is influenced by what came before, musically. Now it’s influenced by bands like The Village People, or something more contemporary. Dance music of today and contemporary rap music has become an influence now. The roots of the band though, are in the 60s and 70s.

So your music evolves with the times, is that what helps it to stay relevant to people?

I think we encapsulated a lot of the times, we expanded on what was going on for us and what was going on in the rest of the music scene around us. People feed off each other, and with art you always take elements from other people. I think our music is also experimental, such as ‘Heart Of Glass’ which was an experimental song for us at the time. It was a big pop song and we were experimenting, stepping out of our comfort zone. I think that’s one of the things we still try to do now, it keeps you ahead of things a little bit.

You have also been a drummer for other really big names such as Joan Jett. Is there a collaboration you particularly enjoyed?

What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you guys on tour?

Probably the first time we came to Australia in the 70s, that was pretty crazy! I don’t think we were prepared for the success that we were having down there and that was a whirlwind experience for us. Having said that, we tried to keep things in check a lot. Of course there have been mishaps, but nothing outrageous! It’s all a rollercoaster, you have to hang on and not lose control!

We had a great deal of success and we’re still having fun and being on tour is just exciting, it’s kind of like being on holiday. Touring is really very organised, but for example London was quite crazy. We would be talking to thousands of people in the street after playing and there was this chaos, which I really enjoyed. I enjoyed the chaos of success, it’s something you need to embrace.

What’s happening for Blondie in the future?

Oh jeez! Well, I can tell you we’re going to be on tour in Australia in December and next year we’re planning to do a world tour with a very strong co-headliner. We’ll also be writing and recording more music, but predicting for example five years down the line, would be difficult.

Thank you so much for talking to me!

Ok, take care, bye!

By Anna Tabrah

I worked with Eurythmics for a bit and we did a couple of gigs around Australia and that was really good for me, I really enjoyed that. I like playing for other musicians, like Blondie is my home base and then you go off and do other things and you learn from that. I’ve worked with a lot of people over the years and being in Blondie was what first enabled me to do these things. When you work with other people, you learn and you come back to your home base with new knowledge. You’re growing as a person and as a musician.

What’s it been like working with Debbie Harry?

Well, we’ve known each other for a really long time. It’s kind of like a strange little family. Of course when I first met Debbie I sensed her charisma and the magic that she had and that’s why I chose to work with her and why she chose to work with me. It’s a relationship that’s gone on a very long time, we’ve all travelled as a band, we’ve all slept in the same bed and now this is where we are!

for a “machine man”, and contacted us via Myspace.

Chapi, the clarinetist, replaced the guy we chose for that, and he stayed! Paul Marie Barbier (in the band for only 9 months), a very talented vibraphonist and percussionist, was also one of our first “fan” on Myspace, and we always knew that we would work with him one day.

What were you all doing before you formed the band?

Charles, Arnaud and myself have worked together for almost 15 years now, so we had the time to do plenty of things together: we had a jazz manouche band for five years before founding Caravan Palace, and each of us worked with the other for electronic music projects.

You sprang to success quite suddenly, through playing gigs in France. How was that journey for you as a band?

Totally unreal! But nobody knows what we look like, so we always could do shopping, or going to holidays without being bothered! We had the chance to play on the biggest stages, in front of the biggest crowds, and be invited to the most prestigious ceremonies thanks to that success.

What has been the highlight of that journey so far?

Do you feel jazz music is genre often neglected in contemporary songs, or are there any other artists who you feel channel a similar vibe?

I couldn’t say that, when you see the success of Melody Gardot or Jamie Cullum. They play quite a traditional jazz, but they do it in a modern way, with modern words and modern tools for doing it. Concerning the crossover between swing and electro, there are plenty of artists doing it since the last five years, and a whole scene now exists, in every big town in the world, with concerts and parties.

How do you feel you have updated jazz to give it a modern edge?

Jazz never died! In France, jazz manouche has always been present in minds. It is our grand parents music, but artists like Sanseverino or Thomas Dutronc still play it, and very successfully! In the crisis times, people rediscover what was the fundamental message of swing music, “have fun”, and transpose it in their own all-day life. So jazz is and will always be a modern music... since the world is in a crisis!

Where do you hope to go with your music in 2012? Are you planning any tours outside of Europe?

The whole adventure! Everyday is a surprise and a pleasure. We have the most beautiful job in the world, and we never forget it!

Our French tour will finish at the end of November, and our English and German ones too. We won’t have time to go outside Europe, for we want to be fully available for our public and medias.

Your last album sold more than 150,000 copies and peaked at nr 11 in the French charts. What are your hopes for your music in the UK?

How did you find the process of writing the new album? Do you all generally agree as a band when it comes to deciding which tracks make the cut?

How do you see your sound developing in the future?

What are your plans for 2013?

The best, of course! The English audience is really different from the French one, and you can never know what’ll happen when you are a little Frenchie in that historically musical country! The UK doesn’t “need” our ideas, so it’ll be a great honor if we have at least a critical success!

We know that we have a lot of ways to explore, a lot of new textures to discover, and songs to compose, for electronic music is always re-inventing itself. But it’s quite difficult for us to know what’s next, until we don’t have time to work on it!

Your songs are generally quite upbeat. What kind of a feeling and atmosphere do you want to create for people listening to them?

The evident bridge between swing music and electronic music is dance. That’s why our songs are so “danceable”! After all, we make “swing music for modern clubbers”! But we also like working on cinematic atmospheres, and down-tempo songs, because we have the time to develop ideas and melodies, and let the voice and instruments exist.

We are 4 co-composers with our own home studios.

The process consists of making music on our side, and then send the sketches via email to the others. When they answer positively within an hour, it smells good.

But we are a democratic band, so everyone has the right to say what he thinks and decide to work, or not, on a song.

A whole year of touring abroad! We should go to the USA and Canada on February, and come back if everything goes well. We’d also like to play in Asia, Australia and South America, as we’ve never been there until now.

And lastly, how on earth did you come up with the name ‘Caravan Palace’? It’s quite random!

Random, huh? In fact, it’s quite a logical name: “Caravan” is a jazz standard from Duke Ellington, and “Palace” refers to a famous Parisian nightclub of the 80s. If you add the reference to gypsies, in opposition with huge hotels and luxury, you have ‘Caravan Palace’!

By Anna Tabrah

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INTERVIEWS Tim Minchin has been super busy lately, keeping us entertained with his hilarious satirical songs and rocking out at UK festivals in all his guyliner-wearing splendour. However, he made time to have a chat with BBM about his upcoming appearance at Homebake in Sydney, his work on turning Roald Dahl’s ‘Matilda’ into a West End show, and why his life is (in his own words) “completely awesome” right now.

Hi Tim, how’s it going?

I’m good! I’ve had a bit of a rock star moment today, I had a sleep in after a heavy day yesterday.

What have you been up to then lately?

So you felt quite comfortable taking it on?

Well actually in the early noughties I had already written to the Dahl estate to ask about the rights to ‘Matilda’ because I thought it would make a great musical. So totally coincidentally I had already had that idea. So when they called me into a meeting about it, I thought “you’re fucking joking me!”

You’re playing at Homebake in Sydney. What’s it like playing in your home country, is that different to playing anywhere else?

Certainly not in any significant way in terms of my comedy, because I consciously write comedy about what I consider universal. There are different things that go down better in different countries but basically I do the same thing everywhere and it seems to work because I’m talking about sex and death and God and love and the pope and shit.

Holy shit! Well, as an example of a day yesterday I got up at 7 and went to the gym because I had to lose some weight for a role and I’m trying to keep it off, so I go to the gym all the fucking time like an idiot. Then I got into one of Mr Andrew Lloyd Webber’s cars which he sent for me to pick me up because I’m an arsehole and don’t catch public transport anymore. I then went to Jesus Christ Superstar rehearsals for seven hours. And then I went to a meeting at the Cambridge Theatre where my musical ‘Matilda’ is showing.

So, let’s talk about your style. You’re known for your crazy hair and ‘guyliner’. How did you come up with that? Do you have a stylist?

I do all my own make-up and hair! I was just sitting Melbourne doing these cabaret shows and you just get this sense that you want to create a version of yourself that’s a bit more watchable and a bit more memorable. Eyes are so important when you’re on stage, wanting to express something. I was used to wearing a bit of make-up anyway, at a stage level, not a rock star level. And then I got my curly hair straightened. There’s just something fundamentally funny about a dude sitting at a grand piano looking like David Bowie or something! Like a Beethoven/Bowie crossover, but then singing stuff like “fuck the motherfucker!”

My life is completely awesome. But you’ll notice, when I told you what I’d been up to I didn’t say “I played with my kids” or “I helped my wife with the dishes” which is indicative of how my life is slightly complex as well!

So for ‘Matilda’ you wrote the lyrics and music. Can you tell us a bit about the process of that?

Mystery Jets

Drummer legend Kapil Trivedi from British band The Mystery Jets makes BBM roll on the floor laughing with some cracking chat with Frankie Salt. As they are about to set sail and leave the UK to perform at the Fat As Butter Festival after 5 albums being released and a change of name from The Misery Jets to The Mystery Jets, their Indie sound is unique and unforgettable. The Mystery Jets are buzzing to come to Australia and why wouldn’t they be? With koalas and beers on the agenda again, they cannot wait to perform to their huge following.

How would you describe the music you write?

Through my 20’s there was always this fear, especially from my Mum that I was wasting my brain and that maybe I should go and do a teaching degree.

I kind of agree with her in hindsight, I could have probably contributed quite well to society as a teacher but by the end of my 20’s I think I had decided that this was it and that I wanted to be an artist and write.

That’s hilarious! How would you describe your life at the moment?

Well, I love Roald Dahl and ‘Matilda’ came out when I was already a bit grown up for that sort of thing. But I’ve always loved ‘The BFG’ and ‘Oswald’. They were my childhood books. But the Royal Shakespeare Company came to me with Matilda, which was just incredible because they had noted my comedy.

What they didn’t know is, I started by writing for theatre, that’s where I come from.

To an extent I’ve always just written what comes naturally to me. I’ve always written silly songs from the age of about ten and I was always a bit of a goof with it, I was never very good at taking my emotions seriously. I couldn’t bear to write clichés. I just was never gonna write a song where you rhyme ‘love with dove’. My lyrics suit narrative, they tell stories. Even my non-comedy songs like White Wine in the Sun have a journey.

If your career hadn’t gone down this route, what do you think you would be doing?

I went to a little studio in Soho yesterday to do some overdubs for Californication and I needed to take all the swearwords out so they can show it on aeroplanes. So whenever I said “motherfucker” I had to say “melon farmer” – literally, “melon farmer”. And wherever I’d said “fucking” I had to say “freaking” and when I said “the guitar sounded like Jesus ejaculating into the Angel Gabriel’s mouth”, I had to change that quite dramatically!

What particularly drew you towards ‘Matilda’?

And that’s great, that’s what makes your music so unique. How did you initially come up with the idea of mixing comedy with music and sometimes more serious themes?

It’s basically cabaret, it all tells a story. With my music, I can have my cake and eat it too.

Sounds busy! Tell us about Californication, the TV show you’re working on at the moment.

I just started writing songs and I wrote about ten songs in six weeks and made demos of them and played them to the director and producer. It took about another 18 months after that to complete. Eventually we opened it in Stratford and the press went apeshit and now it’s on the West End and going to Broadway.

The great thing about my career at the moment is I’m sort of taken seriously but it’s all a bit of a joke at the same time. I love treading that line.

What’s coming up in 2013?

So are you looking forward to performing at Homebake?

I’ve got a band and we’ve been doing festivals in England all summer and just treating them as rock gigs but all the songs are obviously stupid. So we’ll be doing that, which would hopefully work wherever you played it. The difference is it’s in fucking Sydney and I love coming home. It’s incredible that I’m still recognised as an Australian artist.

How has the journey towards becoming a recognised artist been?

I am going to do a play in Australia, which I can’t talk about yet. There’s also a possibility of doing more TV. I will definitely try to do another musical. There’s just so many cool opportunities that it makes me panic just thinking about it! I also want to make a studio album. Hopefully also being a father and a husband, instead of running around the world doing exactly what I fucking want to all the time!

Thank you so much for talking to us, it’s been great!

It’s been very nice to talk to you too, I hope we do it again sometime! Bye!

No one had really heard of me before I moved to England but the fact is I was in Perth till I was 26 and I was in Melbourne till I was 30. I am an Australian act and it’s nice with Homebake to be put on a bill of incredible Australian acts.

Good morning, how are you today? What have you been up to the past few weeks?

HOWDY! We’ve just been working on new songs, and working on a potential EP. We’ll see how things go; also thinking about how we’re going to go about making the video for our next single ‘Saviour’... We want to shoot it somewhere in North Africa!

If you could collaborate with any artist? Present or in the past, who would it be and why?

I’ve been a big fan of Mount Kimbie, I would love to be able to do something live with them. I think what they have done to rhythm and the way that they have done it is refreshing and exciting... and very South Londaaaaaan!

You are heading back to Australia for a grand tour mid September - how have tours gone down in the past Down Under?

We love going over to your side of the world! The shows we’ve played in the past have been some of the best we’ve played anywhere. It’s almost like playing to a UK crowd, although you guys are more sun-kissed and chiselled.

You have just released your fourth album, how long did it take to produce? Do you have a favourite track from the album?

The album was produced in two half’s, the first half was in America, where we recorded around 30 songs. It was only when we got back to London that we heard a thread of songs that we thought was exciting new territory for us. So we continued working in London, and booked a month in a studio with Dan Carey! All in all, it took about 6 months.

What else do you plan to see and do whilst you are over this side of the World?

Well last time we were over there we ticked a few things off our list... hugged koala bears, fed kangaroos, drank lots of beer, ate blue eye fish, drank some more beer, hung out on some beaches, drunk some more beer. As we only get to spend a maximum of 2 days at a time in any one place it becomes difficult to fulfill an agenda.

But someone told me that I had to climb Sydney Bridge.

I’m sure it would be awesome but, it probably means that we would have to get up early which are going to be more unrealistic than climbing the bridge itself.

You moved to America for the recording of the latest album, what made you want to leave the UK to do this?

I think for two reasons, firstly anybody in a band would have been influenced by American culture in some way.

You understand that culture from afar, which will give you a different angle on the culture. But I think it’s only when you live in a place and immerse yourself in it, you really start to understand what makes it tick. The second reason was that we needed to lift ourselves out of our environment and day-to-day routine in order to change as a band, and also put ourselves under the microscope to see what it is that makes us tick.

A couple of members of the band have come and gone, do you think the current set up on the band is here to stay for a good time to come?

If I thought that of the last line up I guess I would be pretty distraught when the partnership terminated. Its like any relationship.... take every day as it comes, never forget birthdays, wear clean underwear. “Yesterday is history, tomorrows a mystery”, but right now is a gift, that’s why they call it the present”, - Turtle, Kung Fu Panda!

What is your best Mystery Jets moment?

I have two, the first one being playing the park stage at Glastonbury. and the second one, hanging out in Varanasi, India with Kai, William and Blaine.

I have to ask, ‘Half In Love With Elizabeth’ (one of my ultimate favourite tracks of yours). Where did the inspiration come from for the story of the track?

It was a long time ago and, if our current girlfriends are reading, it was something some of us MAY have felt in PREVIOUS relationships, it’s about being in love with two people at the same time... and no.... it’s not about the Queen of England if that’s what your thinking!

By Anna Tabrah

Do you favour any of the remixes people have done of your music? Such as the FOAMO remix of ‘Half in Love with Elizabeth’?

I love Switch’s remix of ‘Hideaway’. The day we received that in our inbox was like Santa Claus descending from heaven on a unicorn and handing us a magical lamp.

Do you have a favourite artist/album that you love to listen to at the end of the day?

I have fazes, but right now I’m listening to ‘Slum Village’, it’s what ganja would sound like if it could make noise.

R.I.P J Dilla.

When you lot go on a night out, what genre of other kinds of music do you love to have a dance to?

Right now, it’s straight up Hip Hop, NO DIGGADY NO DOUBT. I grew up listening to Hip Hop, but hadn’t listened to much of it for about 10 years. Recently William’s been getting into his Hip Hop and I’ve revisited all the old songs I used to know and love.

You did a remix of Woodkid’s ‘Iron’ how did that collaboration come about?

He actually directed our “Dreaming Of Another World” video, before he was working with the likes of Katy Perry and drake. We became friends and he asked if we would be up for doing a remix, Blaine stepped up to the plate and made shit happen. BOOM! What else can we expect from you this year? After the Australia tour you also have a UK tour?

Busy busy busy!

Yes, we’re really excited about that tour. We finish off at the Royal festival hall, which is a special venue, and I’m sure we’ll manage to throw in something extra for that show. Plus, we may have an EP and a new video in an exotic location with some partial nudity!?

By Frankie Salt

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INTERVIEWS London born and bred superstar Labrinth, otherwise known as Timothy McKenzie, is not your average 23-year-old. Born into a large family, surrounded by music within London’s Hackney, Labrinth has been at the top of the game since his early teens.

Signed to Simon Cowell’s Syco label, he is the only artist without ‘talent-show winner’ status to be signed in the past six years. Originally a music producer, this singersongwriter and rapper has produced some amazing tracks over the past three years of his career. Gaining ‘Best British Single’ at the 2011 BRIT Awards and ‘Best Contemporary Song’ at the 2011 Ivor Novello Awards, he has also achieved platinum certification from the British Phonographic Industry for surpassing sales of 600,000 copies. Working alongside stars such as Professor Green and Tinie Tempah on tunes such as ‘Pass Out’, he has hit the top of the UK music charts and is now about to tour Australia and will be putting in an appearance at this year’s Parklife Festival. BBM’s Frankie Salt catches up with Labrinth to hear his epic tale about his path to success.

Good morning Labs, how you doing mate?

I am good, good morning darling and how are you? I am in London and the sun is shining which is just so weird but it’s amazing and making me smile.

The last 12 months have been insane for you as an artist, tell me how it has been for you.

I’ve had a really good 12 months. A number three album, and I’m about to release my next single. Been touring, it’s been manic, but couldn’t have asked for a better 12 months really. We have had so many bookings, it’s been wild.

You have always been surrounded by music within your family, was music always going to be your life or did you have something else in mind?

I actually wanted to be a builder… ha-ha, nah I’m chattin’ man - yeah music was always my life. Since the age of 13, I worked in a studio, working with people a lot older than me, and then it grew from there. My name got out there and got me to where I am today.

Did you enjoy school? Or was music your escape from education? How did you get noticed and what path did you take?

I got into a lot of trouble at school. I was a bit of a rebel and I didn’t want to do anything. So I just lost interest.

Apart from music, I always enjoyed it and responded well. I always proper struggled in school, as I didn’t know I had learning difficulties. When I found it hard, I would lash out or leave. But now I know why. So yeah music

was a kind of escape so I started to work, people saw my passion and it grew from there. I ended [up] working with Master Shorty, and after producing the album when I was 17 and releasing it when I was 18 - people really noticed the different sound- Tinie Tempah came to me and then it all fell into place.

You are signed to Simon Cowell’s label ‘Syco’, becoming the first non-talent show signing in six years. How did this come about?

At the time I released two records with Tinie – ‘Pass Out’ and ‘Frisky’, which reached the top of the charts, this then produced quite a buzz about me as a producer and an artist. Simon Cowell caught up with me and asked me to work with his artists, when he asked who was singing on the demos, which was me he said I had to get signed with him. Cowell put in an offer and it kicked off from there. It has been a riot so far.

I’ve got to admit, I do love the cheeky beat on your track ‘Earthquake’, what was your inspiration for this track? Who inspires you musically at the moment?

I am inspired by what is going on around me. There is so much down here in London and you always hear something that gets you. I was in the studio and I just went on a mad one in the studio and ‘Earthquake’ was created.

Speaking generally though, with the amazing music around at the moment, do you think that the average person’s listening tastes are broad enough?

Ok, erm, yeah I do I think people are a lot more open now. I look at some of my mate’s iPods, even my young nephews iPods and the music is vast. Very odd mixes from Kings of Leon to Chase & Status, to Ed Sheeran, Lana Del Ray mixed with Hip-Hop. Now we do have a very healthy music variety.

Do you think that music is being devalued buy the Internet and other easily accessible means of music production?

It is our gift and our curse. ‘Earthquake’ became a smash because of the Internet. You know to get 40 million views on the net with an artist that isn’t well known as such is crazy. On the other hand, people are using the net to free download, which doesn’t help. It puts more artists in the industry, but many people do lose business because of it. You still have to work hard, but not as hard as many years ago. As long as people still keep buying albums, not just the one track and then move on, then the music industry will still thrive.

You’ve been all over the world with The Toasters, do you enjoy the travelling side of the touring? Or do you miss the comforts of home?

Touring extensively is an art form in itself. People looking from the outside don’t take into account that the greater part of playing a gig is not the actual stage time but the getting there and back. You have to be physically and mentally fit to withstand the pressures of long tours, with the patience of a saint and thicker skin than an elephant.

You have to make sure you get as much sleep as you can and try to eat well though that’s not always possible.

But over the years we have put together a crew of road dogs for whom the travelling component is as attractive as the musical one. The chemistry within the extended group (I have about thirty players that revolve in the band right now) is great but guys who are not ready to take the rough with the smooth don’t last very long. The itineraries are often very challenging but that’s all part of the package. So on the road we hit it very hard, but of course it’s always good to go home at the end of each tour. Being away from my family is difficult but I try to balance the schedule as much as possible.

Unless you have a particular passion for Ska music, the genre is almost a little vacant in our daily lives.

Radio play is limited to niche night-time air play, and entire shows dedicated to it are few and far between.

This is by no means discouraging for Third-Wave Ska greats The Toasters, who take pride and joy out of the fact the cold, commercial clutches of the music industry have not touched the cultured, enigmatic genre they love. After announcing their first tour of Australia after 30 years, we spoke to Robert ‘Bucket’ Hingley, aka Buck, about his craziest and fondest memories of Ska life.

Hey Buck, are you looking forward to bringing your tour to Australia?

Hell yeah! We are completely stoked about this trip, not only because we have never been to Oz before, but also because all of our friends down there are super-excited.

We are looking forward to rocking these gigs as well as take some time on the off days to do some exploring

What makes you smile everyday apart from the London sunshine?

It’s all about new music and sunshine!

How was it to carry the Olympic torch? An amazing experience I expect…

It was amazing. I was cynical before but it has changed my whole perception of the Olympics here in London and how it going to be great for the city.

How do you feel about performing at the epic Parklife Festival in Australia?

I’m expecting great things and I’m sure Australia will deliver as I will to them.

If you could go back and do it all again, what would you change? What is there in store for you and your fans in 2012? BBM is looking forward to the release of your new track ‘Treatment’.

I would love to work with Little Dragon, I haven’t seen them live yet but I have heard some amazing things. You can’t go back and change our lives and I appreciate the good and the bad. I love the journey I have taken so far.

Enjoy the Sunshine Labrinth, thanks for the chat.

You too darlin’, thanks!

and hang out. We have a pretty good spread of dates although it wasn’t possible this time round to get all the way over to the west, but I am confident that we will want to come back soon for a reprise.

The Toasters

Yeah of course, it’s so important to respect an artist fully with an album not just the odd track. Why do you go by the name Labrinth?

I had a lot of shit names before that and yeah, it just felt right. I saw it somewhere in London on a billboard and it definitely goes with the route my album takes and my journey.

Where’s the most exciting place your tours have taken you?

Depends what you mean by exciting, as exciting is not always good! But some of the strangest places we have been include the jungles of Brazil and Lake Baykal at Irkutsk in Russia, just above Ulan Bator in Mongolia.

Touring in the Balkans is also a lot of fun as you never know quite what you are going to get down there in Bosnia/Albania/Bulgaria/Romania. The prize for the craziest audiences definitely goes to South America though as those kids love their music. Touring in Mexico is great, for example, as everything is flown by the seat of your pants.

Where have you found the best crowds?

Recently in Eastern Europe and South America. These are relatively “new” markets where many bands can’t (or rather won’t) go and so the kids get really excited to have us there. One of the most rewarding aspects of the whole touring experience is to have people thank you for coming to play for them in their country. On the contrary the thanks should be ours for the honour of having been invited.

What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to The Toasters?

How much room do I have? Getting in fist fights with drunk East Germans at 4am in subzero temperatures as they tried to steal our equipment: going down an escarpment in Mexico with the brakes on fire: death factor turbulence flying over the Andes from Argentina to Chile in a lightening storm: smuggling guys who lost

their passports out of Communist Czechoslovakia: being told by KKK skinheads in Florida who want to come see the (multiracial) show that they aren’t “racists” but only “bigots”: after show party with Murphy’s Law and a bathtub full of beer. That could be quite a long chapter in the Toaster’s History Book…

Has the tour met your expectations so far, or has it been fairly unpredictable?

Ask me when it’s finished! On the road you never really know what’s going to happen. The unpredictable factor is always people because at the end of the day you can never plan for strange behavior. Everything else can be fixed, rented, borrowed, bought, replaced, held together with duct tape, but with people you can never be 100% sure of what they are going to do.

So when it all first began, what was it that triggered the name ‘The Toasters’?

Originally the band was called Not Bob Marley for a spell when the first demos were recorded in 1981. Then we thought about The Bouncers. Finally The Toasters was mooted, having nothing to do with the breakfast implement and everything to do with the original Jamaican MC’s (rappers) whose free-styling over dubplates (backing tracks on vinyl) was called “toasting”.

Hence, The Toasters. Not to mention that we are known to be quick to raise a glass in toast for all and sundry.

What was it about Ska music back then that made the original Toasters want to be part of it?

I had bought my first Ska record (My Boy Lollipop by Millie Small) in 1964. Growing up in England I was exposed to consecutive versions of the genre ranging from original, Trjan Reggae, Rocksteady and 2- tone. By the time I moved to NYC in 1980, 2-tone was moving past its zenith so it was natural for me to want to play in that style. The problem was at that time in New York, finding people who knew what it was.

Who were you influenced by?

2-tone bands like the Selecter, specials and The Beat.

But also bands like Joe Jackson (who is a longtime friend of the band) and Elvis Costello. Going back further Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, The Everly B rothers, Eddie Cochrane and Gene Vincent.

What is your earliest musical memory?

Going to see African drumming with my father outside Nairobi, Kenya in the early sixties.

What do you get out of Ska music that other genre’s of music don’t give you?

50 years of roots and culture, socially conscious lyrics and a sub-culture that fights against racism, right wing politics, big brother government and one of the last genres that has not been totally ruined by the so-called music business.

Labrinth will be playing at Parklife Festival September 22nd 2012 - Riverstage Brisbane, Queensland.

Make sure you check out www.bbmlive.com for the full Parklife Festival line up.

By Frankie Salt

There have been a many members of The Toasters, do you think this had contributed to the longevity of the band?

Yes, and in more ways than one. Each different set of musicians plays the catalogue in subtly different ways.

At the same time as working in new material that is influenced by severally different musical backgrounds the basic set remains fresh. Besides since two of the original members have passed on to the great stage in the sky, one is in an Ashram in California, and the last one disappeared then it’s impossible to put the original line up back together. One of the great things is being able to invite former members back onto the stage whenever we pass through wherever they are now living.

What will you do when the tour is over?

After Australia we go on to Indonesia, China and then the USA. When the USA leg finishes, I get to go to Arizona to work on craft beer event, Brewdown with Warped Tour’s Kevin Lyman. After that’s all done I’ll go back home to Valencia, in Spain for a few weeks off.

What can we expect from The Toasters in 2013?

Lots more touring and some more releases in the shape of 7 inch singles to eventually compile an album.

What message would you like to put out to all your fans?

Please support your local Ska band. We’d love to see all of your mugs on our tour down there. If people want some more info on the band then hit us up on www. toasters.org or on the Facebook page.

P.S. What are you wearing right now?

Black Ska brewing t-shirt, black army shorts, black Airwalk sneakers, black sunglasses. I am actually writing this on the high-speed train up to Madrid on my way to the China embassy to get my visa for Beijing!

By Alexandra Macleod

The Toasters September Tour Dates: 13th – Enigma Bar, Adelaide [18+] Tickets available from moshtix.com.au 14th – The Palais, Daylesford [18+] 15th – Ska Nation Festival @ The Espy, St Kilda [18+] Tickets available from oztix.com.au 16th – Transit Lounge, Canberra [18+] 19th – The Patch, Wollongong [18+] 20th – Cambridge Hotel, Newcastle [18+] 21st – Annandale Hotel, Sydney [18+] Tickets available from theannandale.com.au 22nd – The Hi-Fi, Brisbane [18+] Tickets available from the hifi.com.au or phone 1300THEHIFI 23rd – The Parkwood, Gold Coast [18+]

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MUSIC NEWS Single Reviews The Japanese Popstars’ remix of ‘Keep Running The Melody’ featuring Kreesha Turner

Never ones to shy away from experimenting with their sound – or for that matter taking complete about-turns with it – Brooklyn’s Grizzly Bear are back. And ‘Yet Again’, the first single from their soon-to-be-released fourth album ‘Shields’, is an expectedly disorienting affair. As vibrant – and heavily reverbed – surf guitars introduce Ed Droste and Daniel Rossen et al’s return, it’s a case of familiar unfamiliarity from these keen sonic chameleons.

With synths and drum beats that compliment the echoes within the track the 22-year-old producer from London is clearly onto a winner with this style of ‘all-hours’ House. ‘Know Your Name’ has a unique sound but uses vocal tone in a similar style to that of Cyril Hahn’s remix of ‘Say My Name’ by Destiny’s Child. The piano structure is reminiscent of some downtime Pop music you would find yourself listening to and unknowingly swaying from side to side.

Gone is the breezy freak folk of 2006’s ‘Yellow House’, while the more experimental pop tendencies of its follow-up, ‘Veckatimes’t, are also largely absent. They’ve clearly still hung around in the band’s song-writing DNA though, via the mind-engorging melodies. In their place is some of the most straightforwardly loveable indie rock the four-piece have ever produced; it’s a driven, living, breathing, guitar-led epic.

It is echoing optimism within a tune, which explodes with romanticism as the track unfurls. It’s all the sounds you want to wake up listening to, or as you walk to work, or even as you walk to the pub and when you get in from the club. It’s the perfect sunrise supplement with soaring piano chords uplifting the machine drum into the sky as you lie down in bed and press play for one more time.

Let’s get one thing set though: straightforward is a relative term, and with these guys nothing is what it seems. From the serene vocals that gently echo and perforate their way upwards until they find themselves planted in your cranium and refuse to budge, to the maelstrom of mutant, noisy guitars that close proceedings, ‘Yet Again’ is a far less monotonous listen than its title would have you believe. Instead, it’s a welcome re-emergence from one of Warp’s most valuable commodities, reminding us all that sometimes it’s best to do what you want – even if it makes you seem just a little bit strange.

By Frankie Salt

By Dan Colombini

Albums Reviews The Vaccines – Come Of Age

Something for Kate – Survival Expert

Having met back in the mid-noughties at festivals such as Oxegen and the UK’s almighty Glastonbury, The Japanese Popstars have already enjoyed half a century of whirlwind success. They’ve worked with the likes of The Cure’s Robert Smith, The Editor’s Tom Smith and M83’s Morgan Kibby on their own tracks, remixed everything from Beyonce to Depeche Mode to Daft Punk and peaked with their spot on the bill at The European MTV Music Awards alongside Kasabian last year.

This year, rather than locking themselves in a studio to come up with an album, the electronic trio from Northern Ireland took it upon themselves to provide a soundtrack to the adrenaline-pumped Cateram F1’s 2012 Season, using the sound of the Renault RS27 in the production of the track. Which is pretty goddam cool. When they haven’t been getting musically technical over car sounds, Gary, Declan and Gareth have been in Ibiza playing with the minds of people filling the monstrous dance floors and are more than worthy of taking on Spanish giant Wally Lopez’s track ‘Keep Running the Melody’ ft.

Kreesha Smith.

And they’ve turned it up to all-new levels. An infectiously bouncy track, the remix, which will be released with Postiva Records, takes the throbbing dance track and adds a jumpy beat to keep the ravers going in suspense, waiting for the drop, which will undoubtedly end in a joyful frenzy. A main room tune by nature, we wouldn’t be surprised if you hear it out in the clubs on a regular basis before it’s released worldwide on August 27. If you can’t wait till then, the track is available online exclusively from Beatport now! Go get it.

fiN- The Artisan

By Alexandra Macleod

In an age where the producer reigns almighty and speculation that guitarmusic is slowly being beaten into the ground by pounding electro basslines, it’s a huge breath of sweet, sweet fresh air to gain ecstasy from an alternative rock track once again.

Describing themselves as the ‘heaviest indie band around’, Londoners Luke, Simon, Kerry and Jonny are paving their own path in sonic alternative rock, promising an innovative lease of life by guitar-induced highs. The rolling soundscape of new track ‘The Artisan’ is the sort of track they extract from a drunken night of jamming; pure, beautiful craftsmanship that comes from the heart.

Void of lyrics and empty words, ‘The Artisan’ travels in a steady, sensual build-up of provocative guitar riffs – slightly reminiscent of Radiohead - before crashing into a Foo-Fighters-esque frenzy of emotion, with Luke’s vocals weaving in and around the lead guitar in captivating harmony. Arguably, the one and only flaw is essentially the length of track – it just peaks so quickly!

One minute you’re weak at the knees, and the next minute it’s all over. OR maybe we’re just being greedy.

Something for Kate (SFK) are two years short of a career spanning two decades, making them one of the best-loved Australian rock bands to date.

Their popularity reached its peak in 2001 upon the release of their third album ‘Echolalia’, which won Best Album, Best Band, Best Single, Best Male Vocalist, and to top it all off, Best Rock Album, in the Australian Rolling Stone Readers Poll.

‘Survival Expert’ is a fresh new track, bringing with it a newly evolved SFK who have undertaken a new direction from lead Paul Dempsey’s solo career, with which he carved his own way in 2009. A heartfelt comeback, SFK have harnessed their emotions in a rising swell of piano chords and guitar, while Dempsey’s vocals maintain a distanced falsetto, full of yearning and anguish which touch the souls of all avid SFK fans so religiously.

There are no clearly defined verses or chorus, but a steady intoxicating beat that pulls you in to a trance – one that will surely be further intensified in a live performance. The trio have announced two intimate gigs; one to take place at the Annadale Hotel in Sydney on the 20th of August, the other on the following night in their hometown of Melbourne at the Northcote Social Club.

Look out for them at some of Australia’s favourite festivals in the following months. We’re positive there are many more great years ahead of SFK yet!

By Alexandra Macleod

Youan- Know Your Name

Regardless, they are firm believers in their positive outlook, and fiN’s success is solely a result of their own hard graft. ‘The Artisan’ will be self-released on 7” vinyl and distributed at upcoming shows; a sensual, heart-wrenching promise of what’s to come.

Just over a year and half after they released their debut ‘What did you expect from The Vaccines?’, The Vaccines have knocked out ‘Come of Age’. We could condemn the speedy turnover of two albums in two years as foolish, but that would be ignorant to the amount of airplay the jaunty first single ‘No Hope’ has received in the past week alone. A solid, Stroke-like track, it introduces the new offering from the London-based indie rock guys as ‘more intimate and close’ than their sophomore release.

They made it clear that ‘Come of Age’ does not relate to the band’s career, but is a reference to the life of a human being. However, it’s undeniable the first three songs hold resounding nostalgia to the band. ‘I Always Knew’ is a truthful, sentimental recollection of a past love written by Pete, the drummer, while ‘Teenage Icon’ is wreaked with low self-esteem and unapologetic lyrics.

The highlights of the album are incarnated as ‘Ghost Town’ and ‘I Wish I Was A Girl’. ‘Ghost Town’ is infectious with its bass-led melodies and its throwaway attitude, which demands at least some sort of foot-tapping, if not a proper dance! The latter highlight is lyrically intriguing, because it initially seems the girl is an object of desire. However, the band is actually exploring the idea that being beautiful makes life a whole lot easier – which in reality isn’t necessarily true.

The rest of the album, however, fails to maintain a solid consistency. ‘Weirdo’ is one to be enjoyed through a pair of good headphones, but lacks bite, while ‘Bad Mood’ has so much bite it could have discreetly slipped into their first album. ‘All in Vain’ is debatably the weakest – it doesn’t tug on heart strings like it should, and so has (regrettably) got filler written all over it.

‘Lonely World’ seems a little tame, but makes a perfect end to the album by resonating a feeling of resignation. Sentimental in its best light, ‘Come of Age’ is undoubtedly good, easy indie-rock listening. But some say you should always trust your initial instincts – and perhaps with a little more time spent on it, The Vaccines could have emerged with some GREAT, easy indie-rock listening.

By Alexanda Macleod

Saint Saviour – Union

Anyone out there a fan of Groove Armada? If the answer is yes, then you will have certainly heard the dulcet tones of this lady.

By Alexandra Macleod

Grizzly Bear – Yet Again

Saint Saviour is no newcomer to the music industry and has recently been plying her trade as the vocalist of the popular dance outfit, touring with the band on their 2010 tour and collaborating on a few tracks on the ‘Black Light’ album.

If you’re not a fan of Groove Armada however, then don’t let my introduction put you off. Since then, Saint Saviour has been focussing on producing her own brand of scintillating electro-pop.

This may well be the record that takes Saint Saviour, real name Becky Jones, from being an artist of great potential to being a household name. In her own words, she has been on ‘the periphery’ of the scene for a few years now, and I certainly wouldn’t argue that with this offering of upbeat pop/dance hits she is not likely to cross over to the other side.

If a song is created to build atmosphere and build on bass and emotions, this offering from Youan hits the nail on the head perfectly. ‘Know Your Name’ is simplicity purified with clear, yet slightly haunting vocals and a Deep House progression. Each layer builds upon another, creating a dreamlike melody which crescendos and drops into the lyrics at the perfect time.

Opening with the emotion-laden ‘Mercy’, which meanders its way through your mind like a glorious keyboard-driven stream, it is immediately obvious that we are dealing with an artist of considerable ability here. Echoes of Kate Bush spring to mind – a somewhat recurring theme of the record. Next track ‘Tightrope’, follows a similar theme and drifts along nicely, but leaves you with a feeling that something is about to happen, that never quite does.

These fears are comprehensively allayed however by the time we reach ‘This Aint’ No Hymn’, which really begins to showcase Jones’ sound. This haunting, almost creepy, electro number sounds like the love-child of Kate

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MUSIC NEWS Bush and Tori Amos, perhaps with Auntie Goldfrapp turning up to say hello as well. Needless to say, it is a delightful song and with the similarly impressive ‘Liberty’ before it, makes for the highlight of the record.

Pleasingly, Jones shows there is far more to this record than cascading electro beats and high-pitched vocals with the beautiful ballad ‘Fallen Trees’ – although once again shades of Ms. Bush are unavoidable. That being said, there are far worse people to be compared with, are there not?

To summarise, there is no denying the musicianship on show on ‘Union’. It is a varied album, rife with texture and colour. The question is: how much do you like Kate Bush?

By Dan Colombini

Passion Pit - Gossamer

BBM’s Ones To Watch: Hooks

It is always refreshing to hear a genuinely interesting and melodic new indie band, and that is exactly what you have with up and coming North London-based four-piece Hooks.

Beautiful harmonies on the chorus, crisp melodic guitar and exciting drum fills are just some of the reasons that Hooks could find themselves with a hit on their hands with this number.

Fresh off the back of a successful performance at Camden town’s Black Heart the group has now released its first four track EP ‘We’ve Got Super Powers’, with very pleasing results.

We’ve Got Superpowers is certainly the high point of the EP, but that should certainly not deter the listener from enjoying final track What is the Rush.

Featuring some particularly neat lead guitar work and probably a lyrical highlight for the group, the song completes what, it has to be said, is a very enjoyable if not ground-breaking debut offering from Hooks. But it certainly leaves you with the feeling that more is to come from the group and, based on this charming EP, I suggest you keep an eye out for whatever the lads serve up next.

Opening track Back in Danger begins with a very pretty arpeggio that instantly evokes memories of The Smiths. But by the time it is joined by a solid and rhythmic backbeat, Hooks begin to take on a sound of their own.

Recorded and written over the past few months, it is a delightful opener to showcase the group’s music and a worthy introduction to the world.

Followed by We’ve Got Superpowers, driven by a pounding bass line reminiscent of former Joy Division/New Order axe man Peter Hook (no pun intended), the band find their stride to deliver a wonderfully catchy pop tune.

“Hooks makes me want to get out of bed in the morning” enthuses one fan on the bands Facebook page. And without stealing his thunder, I couldn’t have put it better myself. Put this on every morning and you will be walking with a spring in your step for most of the day.

By Dan Colombini

All the way back in 2009, when electronic music was beginning to take hold and grasp the mantle of ‘pop’ music, a little track called ‘Sleepyhead’ crept into film, TV and game playlists everywhere. This was the precursor for the soon to be known Passion Pit. ‘Gossamer’ is their return to our stereos, and it has to be said, it’s a consistent one. Over the last few years, they’ve remained a constant presence in TV show soundtracks and on the radio. And based on this offering, this doesn’t show any signs of abating.

It’s a happy album with a cathartic side, full of songs of love and pain, and how they have been dealt with. Driving opener ‘Take a Walk’ tells the tail of a long-distance love, while lead single ‘I’ll Be Alright’ revolves around the need for a smooth breakup.

It’s unapologetically uplifting, with each song doing something slightly different from what you were expecting - it’s like pass the parcel, where every layer adds to the excitement and joy. ‘On My Way’ has Polyphonic Spree tendencies, while Constant Conversations has an RnB feel to it - it’s just a joy to listen to.

They’ve taken all the best elements from the electronic/pop revolution that has spread across the globe via the likes of M83, Daft Punk and Friendly Fires and have used it to refine the sound laid out on ‘Manners’ and taken it to 11.This is electro pop indie at its very best.

Melding all the best elements of summer, life-affirming melodies and a general feeling of uplifting pop and sticking them in 12 tracks that grab you by the ears and shake you rhythmically until you say YES YES YES, this is the musical equivalent of that Sunday afternoon sugar-rush you had as a child. The come down isn’t quite as harsh, as you can just press play again... More please.

By Dan Colombini

Smashing Pumpkins – Pisces Iscariot

We can’t imagine many alternative rock bands that had their pomp in the mid 90’s would still attract such fervent interest and undeniable relevance, after rereleasing a compilation of B-sides from their first two albums.

Would people scramble to take a listen to a similar offering from Elastica? What about Kula Shaker or, worse still, Menswear? Very doubtful.

But Billy Corgan and the gang rarely disappoint and, true to form, the ‘Pisces Iscariot’ reissue is every bit as magical as one would come to expect from a group with such pedigree.

Of course, to compare Smashing Pumpkins with Elastica is somewhat unfair on the latter, but it needs to be emphasised that for what is essentially an album of throwaway tunes originally released in 1994, this makes for epic listening.

From the distorted guitar barrage of ‘Plume’, offset by crystal-clear vocals, to the haunting cover of Fleetwood Mac’s existential classic ‘Landslide’, this really reminds even the most fervent naysayers what a prolific writer Billy Corgan is.

The album opens with the beautiful arpeggios of ‘Soothe’, B-side to 1994’s ‘Disarm’. But don’t let this melancholy ballad trick you into believing that the band has gone soft. Because just as you are relaxing into Corgan’s sweet vocal, the punky intro of ‘Frail and Bedazzled’ smashes down the door and reminds you of Smashing Pumpkins’ depth and diversity.

It is 11-minute epic ‘Starla’ that is the showpiece of this record, however.

Originally released as the B-side to 1992’s ‘I Am One’, this monster of a song weaves in and out of your psyche, while simultaneously managing to be both dirty and beautiful. Keep a very close eye (or ear) out for the outrageously good guitar solo at 5 minutes and 41 seconds as well. Upon which I will rest my case.

Although I will not sum up before mentioning that the ‘Pisces Iscariot’ reissue also comes with a DVD of live performances. And, if you are a still thirsty for more, a host of other extras including a replica of the band’s original demo tape.

Epic tunes and memorabilia aside, the reason this album really stands out, is the fact that it will surely win the band a whole new audience. Very little on here, despite dating back twenty years, sounds dated. Meaning any number of NME-championed Jonny-come-latelys (who will remain nameless) could do a lot worse than taking a listen to this for inspiration.

By Dan Colombini

BBM Music Chart: LA Salami – The Scene Casablanca – Yes Mumford & Sons - I Will Wait SWW - Your Silence Is Killing Me Gallows - Outsider Art Jessie Ware - Sweet Talk The xx – Chained Rustie - After Light (feat. AlunaGeorge) Tame Impala – Elephant Zebra Katz Featuring Njena Reddd Foxxx – IMA READ

The Drunken Midnight Choir – Felicity Bay The Presets – Ghosts The Tricks – On Trial Bloc Party – Octopus Chris Lake & Lazy Rich Featuring Jareth – Stand Alone Bat For Lashes – Laura 50 Cent Featuring Dr Dre & Alicia Keys – New Day Don’t forget you can listen to all these songs on www.bbmlive.com/music-news The best new music news, reviews, and guide to what’s happening around the country.

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FUNNY NEWS Down With This Sort Of Thing

Butcher, from Tampa Bay, Florida, said: “I am selling my American Dream on eBay. I will assist the buyer with ownership transfer paperwork. You will be taught the ins and outs of the business. You will be granted access to all distributors and trade secrets.”

As anyone who’s read BBM on a regular basis will tell you, we pride ourselves on our politically correct attitude towards journalism. Whether it’s a story about some dirty slapper shagging an old man, or a fat American shooting a load of people, we always endeavour never to use outdated stereotypes to get our point across. Which is why we were vomiting in rage this week when we heard that a poor bloke from Dublin had been subjected to a merciless barrage of Irish jokes while on a cruise.

The 29-year-old has uploaded an accompanying video on to YouTube featuring a guided tour of his up-for-grabs home. He plans to use the cash to go travelling with his wife before returning to Florida to set up his next business enterprise. Not that anyone has made a bid. After all, who wants to spend their money to take over the life of a Yank twat?

Carnival plc – owner of P&O Cruises – was successfully sued by John Wolfe, who said the gags by two stand-up comedians left him feeling insulted. Wolfe first raised the issue while on a cruise in 2007, when the comedians told a series of anti-Irish jokes. Purely in the interests of journalism, we will include one of these tasteless jokes here: “What’s an Irishman with half a brain?

Gifted!”

Scrap Between Royal Dogs Over Who’s Next In Line For The Pooch Throne

The retired builder, 74, was offered vouchers and assured by Carnival that it would ban such jokes. Jokes like: “Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic? There’s a 12-month waiting list.”

However, he and his wife were shocked when four other comedians used similar material on a P&O cruise the following year. Material such as: “Did you know that 66 per cent of Irish people like Jedward? That’s two turds.”

“They can’t tell them about Jews, blacks or Muslims but Paddy is OK,” said Mr Wolfe. “This must be stopped.”

Quite right Mr Wolfe. We must stop jokes such as “My mum won the Irish lottery. She owes them $6million” or “Have you heard about the Irish kamikaze pilot? He’s on his 23rd mission” from ever being heard again.

And just like a family of benefit-fraud scroungers on the Jeremy Kyle show, there can be fireworks if people don’t get the results they want.

“We have people that want to get the specimen from their spouse without them knowing about it. We deal with a lot of drama. It’s constant drama,” he added.

Apparently, the results can be delivered in the mail or in person – which is all well and good, but why can’t you start the process through the mail too?

When BBM tried to send a “specimen” of our sperm through the post we were slapped with a restraining order from Cheryl Cole. The hypocrisy of it all beggars belief.

A Tough Call

The Corgis have reigned over the most part of Queen Lizzie’s monarchy, but in exciting new turn of events, Princess Beatrice’s Norfolk terriers put up a good fight in order to occupy Top Royal Dog positions.

The scrap, which occurred at Balmoral Castle, left the old terrier, Max in a terrible state much to the Queens and Prince of Wales distress. It seems the three Corgis; Monty, Willow, and Holly formed an alliance with the three Dorgies; (Dachshunds bred with Corgis) Cider, Candy and Vulcan in their revolt against the terriers to remind them of their place.

Max is recovering much to the Princesses relief (he has been her mans-bestfriend since she was 13-years-old) and has yet to face the Corgi Army again to arrange a peace agreement. The terriers have a long way to go if the fluffy, stumpy-legged Corgi’s are ever to be overthrown.

Ade-laying Some Cable

The Royal Knob

Being Australia’s most unappealing city, we’ve never really thought about going to Adelaide before. And now we’ve got another reason never to go after 12 blokes decided to turn the city’s main beach into a toilet.

Dressed in black suits and bowler hats, the group of protesters carried a selection of toilets onto the beach before dropping their trousers.

We’ve all had a piss in the sea, but surely having a shit on the beach is taking things too far?

The event was organised by photographer Andrew Baines who is hoping the protest will bring better facilities to the beach. Either that or he has a weird poo fetish and has come up with the perfect ruse to take photos of some wanking material.

“I think this is the job of an artist to take these issues to the wider community and let people talk about it,” he blathered on like a nonce.

Local businesses in the area are frustrated by the beach’s lack of changing and toilet facilities nearby. Kym Hewitt, who owns a café and has a girl’s name, said he is regularly swamped by beachgoers who want to use his bathroom.

“The public toilets are not up to scratch at all and quiet often we have a lot of people coming through to the cafe, sort of not really dressed for the café,” he whinged.

The local council is reportedly looking into the issue and is consulting the community about where to build potential new facilities.

A content, but cold, volunteer said: “It’s a lovely Sunday morning but I wish it was done in the summertime as it’s bloody cold!”

Another added: “Fuck off pal, I’m having a shit.”

Who’s The Daddy?

In England it’s a well-known fact that the only place you can get a paternity test is on the Jeremy Kyle show. But in America, they’ve made the art of distrusting your pregnant partner even more trashier with the invention of the “Who’s Your Daddy?” paternity test van.

The van, which is based in New York, sells its on-site tests for between $299 and $575. All men have to do is have a swab test taken and wait a couple of days for the results to come back from the laboratory.

The owner and operator of the vehicle, Jared Rosenthal, said that the service was proving popular. “They flag us down, they pull us over, they talk to us,” he said, we presume he’s talking about blokes who think their partner is a skank.

“Sometimes, because of the nature of the services, they want to be a little more discreet about it, but they do come or they’ll call the number.”

Petty as they may be, things like speed cameras and laws against talking on the phone while driving are there for our own good.

So a round of applause for the police officer in West Australia who, it was revealed this week, fined a woman $250 under the dangerous driving laws for talking on her phone while pushing a pram. It’s men like that who keep us safe from baby-walking maniacs. Sadly, the loony left got hold of the story and managed to strong-arm the police into letting this violent criminal off the hook.

“It was recognised as incorrect within 24 hours,” backtracked inspector Bill Munnee. “As a result, the officer’s OIC [officer in charge] immediately contacted the woman involved, attended her address and apologised and cancelled the infringement notice.”

Poor Prince Harry. It’s not his fault that listening to Conor Maynard tricked him into an act of desperation to nail a Vegas Girl. He stripped and frolicked around a swanky hotel with a petite blonde lady, who had apparently was thoroughly intent on jumping his bones all night. Of course, the Royal Family Lawyers are throwing a grand hissy fit. Enraged that Harry’s tight little bottom was plastered across the internet, they feared the worst. Perhaps he’d slipped had let down his guard on the crown jewels? Oh the horror! The shamez.

Luckily the royal bits didn’t escape from his clutches, but nonetheless our one-and-only ginger-topped prince was plastered across the internet in his fantastically nude glory. After playing with the naked girl for a prolonged period of time – royals and newspapers were shocked and appalled to hear Harry disappeared with her a few minutes later. We weren’t. He’s only human, the poor guy was probably close to bursting point!

Sadly for Harry, what happened in Vegas did not stay in Vegas. We say sod it, the next time Harry get’s frisky we want news of a spontaneous Royal Vegas Wedding, complete with Elvis the registrar on our front page!

Disgusting. She should be strung up with all the other scum out there.

A Ringing Success

Forget the Olympics and the Premier League, if you want top-quality sport – not to mention hot Scandinavian girls – the place to be is Finland, home of the annual mobile-phone throwing contest.

And ever heard of Ere Karjalainen? Well we’re sure he’ll be peppered with sponsorship offers from Nike and Gillette very soon after the 18-year-old launched himself into the record books with a new world record.

Karjalainen threw his phone the “amazing” distance of 101.46 metres (332 feet 10 inches), Finnish public television network YLE said. Second place went to South African Jeremy Gallop, who threw a phone 94.67 metres.

“There will be no doping tests,” organisers said on their English website.

“However the jury can rule out the contestant if his/her mental or physical preparedness is not adequate for full a performance.”

Fair enough, but surely just competing in a mobile-phone throwing contest immediately proves they’re not “fully adequate” mentally?

Putting His Life On The Bottom Line

An arsehole millionaire American has put his life up for sale on eBay for £2.2million, presumably in an attempt to brag about how awesome he is.

Businessman Shane Butcher is offloading his chain of computer game shops, two waterfront homes, three supercars and even his pet dog.

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SPORT Web Of Deceit

Baseball may just be a big version of rounders, but it’s pretty big business in the old U.S. of A and professionals will go to Bulgarian shot-putter-esque lengths to improve their performance in any way possible. And some will go even further than that. Just ask Melky Cabrera of the San Francisco Giants.

Cabrera, who earns $6 million a year, tested positive for artificially-elevated testosterone levels earlier this season, and was slapped with a 50-game suspension.

But the needle-loving star wasn’t happy. Just before the ban, he had been enjoying one of the best spells of his career, having made it on to the All Star team for the first time – and even winning the MVP award in that game.

So he hatched a plan, an elaborate scheme that would get him off the hook and back on the beefy-armed path to the Superbowl (or whatever it is in baseball).

With the help of his “associate” Juan Nunez, the 28-year-old bought an existing website for $10,000 and used it to create a fake product that could account for his dodgy testosterone levels.

Cabrera would then claim that he had taken the supplement without realising that it would cause a positive test result - and he could then escape a ban.

Initially, it fooled the players’ union. But, predictably, it wasn’t such a success when the lawyers got involved.

Glamour Model Goes Clubbing

It’s a universal law of attraction that women with an interest in football immediately have their hotness factor multiplied by ten. Just look at Karren Brady. If you passed her on the street, you wouldn’t look twice – except maybe for a quick glance at her tits. But BBM would be happy to bet good money that 80 per cent of West Ham and Birmingham season ticket holders have had a cheeky wank over Mrs Paul Peschisolido, possibly followed by a dream about how their awesome love-making skills convinced her to put more money into the club’s transfer kitty.

“[They] began asking questions about the website and the ‘product’ - Where was the site operating from? Who owned it? What kind of product was it? and quickly discovered that an existing website had been altered, adding an ad for the product, a topical cream, that didn’t exist.”

The dickhead is now looking at federal charges as well as the ban. Idiot

Living in Australia, we know all too well the pain of being away from the things we love the most. We are, of course, talking about decent football games.

BBM could quite happily never see our mum and dad again, but the prospect of never sitting in the stands with a meat pie watching our beloved Grimsby Town draw 0-0 with Nuneaton, fills us with sadness.

So we can see where Indian footy fan Abhisek Deep Anand was coming from when he became so desperate to go to a Premier League game on the opening day of the season that he decided to kidnap his girlfriend in an attempt to ransom her incredibly rich father.

So if that’s what happens to a borderline boiler like Brady, imagine the spunkfest that would occur if Kelly Brook took over your local club. Well that’s pretty much what’s happened at Polish club Warta Poznan, where season tickets have soared after one of Poland’s top glamour models took charge as club president.

A week before kick-off, Abhisek took his girlfriend of one-year to a restaurant, stole her phone then used it to call her dad with a demand for $170,000. He then took his missus to a nearby hotel and locked her in a room.

Izabela Lukomska-Pyzalska may have a moniker that’s near-impossible to pronounce, but she’s a household name in her native country after making a career of posing without her clothes on in dozens of magazines - among them the Polish version of Playboy.

But the plan went tits up when the girl’s father – who had earned millions working in America - called police despite Abhisek’s threats that he would kill the girl if the authorities were alerted.

Now, at the still shaggable age of 34, her career has branched in a different direction after she was installed as president of the second-tier side.

“The caller threatened to kill her if he didn’t pay up or if he went to the police,” said a local police chief. “They left for the [hotel] and it was on the way that Anand revealed his plan to her, threatening to kill her family members if she raised an alarm.”

This is no honorary appointment, however. Lukomska-Pyzalska is determined to be taken seriously and has already been out on the training pitch to keep her relegation-threatened players on their toes.

“I’m going to impose discipline and good organisation, as you would in any other successful business,” she insisted, while soaping her tits up at a car wash.

Indian Dope Trick

Ready-Made Hooligans For Hire

Anyone remember North Queensland Fury? Unless you’re reading this in Townsville (the laziestly-named town in the world), you’ve probably already wiped them from your mind. They were the ill-fated A-League team who bought Robbie Fowler for their debut season, then duly went hideously in debt and disappeared a year later. We bring this up not as a warning to Western Sydney Wanderers about the perils of signing former England stars looking for one last pay day in the sun, but because we remember watching the news when it was announced that the A-League were revoking the club’s license. Among those interviewed for the story were several fans with “Fury till I die” banners – which considering the club was less than a year old was quite a statement. The point we’re making is Aussie football fans are pretty good at mimicking supporters from established European clubs – even if they don’t really understand what they’re doing. And so we turn to the “fan war” brewing between Sydney FC and Western Sydney Wanderers, which has already attracted a hooligan element despite no history and no games between the sides. Things kicked off last month during a friendly between the Sky Blues and the Macarthur Rams when a flare was thrown into a crowd of Sydney fans by a group claiming to be Wanderers fans (no, we don’t know why they were at another team’s friendly either). In the ensuing skirmish, a kid was hit by a projectile and the Australian NRL/AFL/acronym-loving press had a field day trashing football’s image.

When he was eventually arrested, Abhisek admitted he had wanted the money to fly to England to watch a Premier League match, although considering the cost of tickets these days he probably should have asked for twice as much.

Kop A Load Of This

‘’These are thugs who will come and infiltrate any area to express their antisocial behaviour,’’ said Wanderers chief executive Lyall Gorman. ‘’We’ll work together to obliterate this from our game, we won’t have it in our venues.’’

Goths In The Pub

They may have been perennial Champions League also-rans a few years ago, but IFK Gothenburg aren’t exactly swimming in glamour ties this season.

A few years ago they were playing Manchester United and AC Milan on a regular basis, but last month Sweden’s biggest club played a competitive game against an Irish pub team.

Langholmen FC, which features four Irish lads, was created for Englishspeaking footy fans in Stockholm. It is only ten years old and lies second from bottom of Division 4 — the sixth tier of Swedish football – but that did not stop them qualifying for Sweden’s main cup competition, where they were drawn against the Swedish giants.

Before the game, defender Ciaran McCormack, from Howth, north Dublin, said: “We usually get around 50 people at the matches, but there’s talk of well over 1,000 for this one. I think they wanted to move to another venue, but that wasn’t possible.

“We’ve a few Irish players. Paul Sullivan in centre midfield is from Howth, Robbie Graham is from Cork, and Colm Kenny, although unfortunately he’s injured at the moment.

“The club basically started when a group of pals met for a regular Saturday morning kickaround on a gravel pitch and it’s gone on from there.”

Langholmen’s shirts are sponsored by their local boozer, Southside — aka “Stockholm’s best and friendliest Irish pub”. Predictably, they got absolutely battered by the Swedish champions – losing 9-0 at home.

Fans of the clubs quickly established that those who incited the trouble belonged to a group called the Sin City Crew (stop laughing) - a clan formerly aligned with Sydney FC’s main supporter group, The Cove. So basically about 10 thugs have seen the Celtic v Rangers rivalry and tried to copy it to prove their loyalty to a club that hasn’t even played a game yet. Sound daft?

Someone’s telling porkies, but who do you trust between a Yank and a Spaniard? It’s a tough, tough call. On one hand there’s Roberto Martinez claiming Liverpool offered him a juicy old contract to ditch the bright lights of Wigan to take charge at Anfield. But on the other side, you’ve got Liverpool big wig Tom Werner saying the club only ever wanted Brendan Rodgers, and he was the only one given an offer. If only more people in football were as honest as the English. Footballers like Ashley Cole and John Terry would never cheat or lie for their own ends. “We must educate people, in five or six years we [Wigan] reap the benefits,” said Martinez. “Maybe I won’t be there then but this is not why I stayed, when Liverpool made me an offer. I stayed because my chairman is unique.”

But like a law banning the sale of guns to mentally unstable Americans, Werner wasn’t having it.“We engaged with a number of very experienced football people whose names have never been mentioned,’ said Werner. “We ended up focussing only on Brendan Rodgers - we never made an offer to any other manager. “We were extremely impressed with Brendan, with his thoughtfulness and devotion to Liverpool. Brendan was the only candidate to whom we offered the position.”

Is it just us or is Tom protesting a little too much? Still with a record that boasts one half-decent season in the Premier League, why would you look at anyone other than Rodgers for the job? Or is it possible that the idea that someone would rather stay at Wigan than move to Liverpool says a little too much about the club’s standing in the pantheon of European giants these days.

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SPORT Premiership Preface Now the Olympics are over we can all forget that we briefly cared about synchronised diving, and get back to enjoying a real sport where diving will only get you abuse and condemnation from fans and tabloids (unless you’re British – more on that later). A new Premier League season brings with it all the hope, excitement, and inevitable disappointment that makes football the best/worst game in the world. Despite teams buying new players, and testing new formations, we all know how the season will transpire; and those hoping for a season of surprises will surely be disappointed as the usual suspects take up the top slots, others assume their traditional mid-table positions, and Wigan have yet another dogshit season before narrowly avoiding relegation, with Roberto Martinez being hailed a genius.

But it’s not all bad; there’s something quite comforting that comes with knowing what to expect. The Premier League is like a warm old blanket you had as a child – except this blanket rips you off monetarily and makes you cry. Nevertheless, we love the game (love it!), and while you’re watching the two Manchester clubs fight it out for the title, Arsenal, Chelsea, Spurs, and Liverpool battle for fourth, and Fulham just hang around not making much of a fuss or impact, there’ll be plenty of familiar happenings that are part of the Premier League’s fabric. We’ve made a few notes of things to look out for from a select group of players from the only teams that people really care about. (Sorry Reading.)

Arsenal

Gooners will be curious to see if their colossal centre back Per Mertesacker can improve on his debut campaign; while rival fans will hope he provides more fodder with which to mock the myth of Arsene Wenger’s brilliance in the transfer market. The German spent every game in which he featured navigating the pitch like a lost submarine, leaving gaping holes in Arsenal’s defence; and hopefully we can expect more of the same this season.

Chelsea

Captain, leader, ambassador for race equality – these are just some of the many things that can be said about John Terry (the others are only four letters long). Though into his 30s and past his prime, you can still rely on JT to fearlessly throw himself in front of the ball and provide that desperate last ditch tackle. Because JT’s a brave and inspirational leader. It’s not because he’s always out of position, and slow, and a massive liability.

Fulham

Yes, Fulham. And John Arne Riise. Just like his time at Liverpool, a multitude of shots and crosses from Riise will be fired miles wide, over, and into the stratosphere until that one gorgeous pile driver hits the back of the net and everyone briefly forgets how shit he is.

Liverpool

Could’ve gone for Suarez’s nutmegs; could’ve gone for a long-range Gerrard effort; but instead we’ve gone for the bumbling ball of suet that us Charlie Adam. If you only watch and listen to the lazy numptys on Match of the Day, you’d be forgiven for believing that Charlie Adam is this generation’s Graeme Souness – a perfect mix of elegance and brutality. In actual fact, Adam is more a mix along the lines of chips and deep fried pizza – fat and awful. His patented receive the ball, look around, wander forward 10 yards, fall over move is a familiar sight to Liverpool fans; as is his whack a 40 yard Hollywood ball to the corner flag. Both will be on show again at Anfield this season unless Brendan Rodgers comes to his senses and ships the Scot off to the glue factory.

Man City

Aaah, Balotelli. The antics of the hipsters’ favourite have become old hat now (just celebrate when you score, you bellend) but they’ll be on display again this season. Arguing with the manager; spending lavishly; setting fire to stuff.

But it’s ok, because he’s a character. Not a twat…

Stoke

Apart from obesity and domestic abuse, when you hear Stoke you think of Rory Delap’s throw-ins. Even when Delap’s not on the pitch, the Potters’ main tactic is still a long throw into the box. Pundits love them because they’re an old-school English team: they get stuck in, there’s no fannying about with the ball (i.e. they’re not very good at football). If you ever see a Stoke player pass the ball along the ground it can only mean that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will soon be coming around the corner.

Spurs

When he’s not swinging from a tyre or helping to move a piano up a flight of stairs, Spurs’ Gareth Bale can most likely be found tearing around the pitches of the Premier League putting in crosses, scoring the odd goal, and falling to the floor having been felled by a mild gust of wind. For all the talk of devious foreigners and their gamesmanship, Gareth Bale (along with Ashley Young) stands out for being particularly prone to cheating. Finally, something in football at which the British are the best!

(All players still at these clubs at the time of writing. Hopefully Charlie Adam isn’t, though…)

By Peter Simpson

Man Utd

(Ok, get ready for this joke – it’s good.) If you thought Tom Daley was Britain’s finest diver, you’d be wrong. That honour goes to Man Utd’s Ashley Young.

(Told you it was good.) To win a penalty, get an opponent booked, or just hold up the game, the vastly over-rated winger will go down quicker than a girl on a night out in Manchester after a few Smirnoff Ices. (I’ve been to Manchester).

Newcastle

Unless he gets the move he craves, scan the crowd at St James’ Park to see a poorly disguised, ponytailed man with a forlorn look break into tears as the Toon Army cheers Papiss Cisse banging in goal after goal. Poor Andy.

Norwich

Just watch the ludicrously egotistical Grant Holt parading around Carrow Road as if he’s a world-beater, like Cristiano Ronaldo, and not some averagely talented bumpkin from Carlisle. Holtamania? Bollocks.

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GET LATE Melbourne Spearmint Rhino

One of the few strip clubs that acknowledges women as paying customers, you won’t feel neglected here. It’s also one of the classier joints in Melbourne, ensuring an upmarket and non-threatening environment for female patrons.

With great drinks, good music and gorgeous interior it’s perfect for a girls’ night out at a strip club without the sleaze.

As a girl, visiting a strip club might not be seen as the most ladylike way to spend your Saturday night, but let’s face it, ladylike behaviour isn’t the norm on most Saturday nights anyway. Strip clubs can be a laugh and why should the boys have all the fun? It might seem a bit daunting when you’re a woman and the thought of a bar with naked ladies provokes images of sleazy, sweaty men clutching their balls. But fear not! We have handpicked some of the best female friendly strip joints around. It was a tough job…

Minx Gentlemen’s Club

Sydney

Minx describes itself as combing the sophisticated ‘sex in the city’ attitude with the real thing. If that doesn’t sound appealing, we don’t know what does. Think plush décor and a premium wine and top shelf spirit selection. But don’t worry; Minx still has that edge of true grit, which makes nudity so exciting. It’s also only open Tuesday to Friday so you’ll avoid rowdy Saturday night customers.

72 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW 2000, 1300 789 798 www.minxbar.com

14 King Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3000, Australia (03) 9629 2300 www.spearmintrhino.com.au

Goldfingers

If you want to enjoy a strip club, but don’t want to stand out as the only girl, head to Goldfingers. With frequent female visitors, you definitely won’t be the only woman joining the boys for some naked entertainment. The atmosphere is relaxed and friendly, plus it’s been around since 1997 so it’s a well-known and established adult venue. Goldfingers has featured on Playboy TV and various internet forums with reviews from happy female customers.

584 Lonsdale Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3000 (03)9670 9457 www.goldfingers.com.au

Showgirls Bar 20

One of the great things about this place is that girls get in for free! So even if you’re unsure whether you fancy a night at a strip club, you at least won’t be spending a fortune for the privilege. There are also plenty of themed feature shows that will keep your attention and provide great entertainment for girls and boys alike.

46 King Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3000 (03)9629 4684 www.bar20.com.au

Men’s Gallery

If the thought of full nudity is a bit much to stomach but a strip club still tickles your fancy, head here on a Friday or Saturday for a slightly dialled down version of naked fun. Full on nudity is off the cards on weekends, but in its place you can have delicious meals and a luxury interior complete with plush sofas. And all receipts have alias titles on them so no one needs to know where you spent your night…

92 Pitt Street, Sydney NSW 2000 (02)9232 1800

Kittens

With the atmosphere of a dance club rather than a strip club, this is a fun place to head to if you want a great night out with a sexy edge. Kittens also offers some fun classes if you want to try your hand at exotic dancing. From burlesque chair dancing to pole dancing taught by professionals, you can give it all a go (no nudity in the classes obviously).

Pussycats nights offers the chance to win prizes by getting up and showing your moves on the dancefloor, with both girls and boys encourage to join in the fun.

Gurlesque

68 Cecil Street, South Melbourne, Victoria 3205 (03)9696 9666 www.kittens.com.au

Hermann’s Bar Cnr City Rd & Butlin Ave, Darlington 2006 (02) 9563 6245 www.myspace.com/gurlesque_au

B Confidential This strip club in Brisbane is like no other. Designed to prove that business and pleasure do mix, you can expect a sleek rather than sleazy setting for some naked shenanigans. Don’t worry about being a girl here, as everyone is welcome. The club is run by Trevor and Lisa, meaning one half of the management is female and in tune with what girls want from a strip club! The atmosphere is relaxed and classy – the perfect venue for female first-timers!

Want a totally man-free zone? Look no further than Gurlesque! Bar transvestites, this club is for girls only and provides a totally unintimidating environment for women who want to enjoy a night at a strip/burlesque club. It has been running since 2000 and was the first burlesque club to hit Australia. It’s all about female empowerment and dispelling patriarchal myths about what’s sexy. But it’s also about having a lot of fun!

Queensland

Upper Edward Street Spring Hill, QLD 4000 (07) 3832 1023 www.bconfidential.com.au

By Anna Tabrah

CRYSTAL BALLS Leo

Out of all the zodiac signs, you have the coolest name Scorpio. And what have you done with it? You’ve wasted it, that’s what. Get out from under that pile of McDonalds fries cartons and do something with your life you pile of useless vomit.

And have a shower while you’re at it. You reek.

Your search for a job bears fruit this month when you are hired by Westpac as one of their new carbon-friendly air-conditioning operatives.

Despite the fancy title, this basically involves you blowing on various executives to keep them cool during the summer months. I just realised, you literally have a blow job. Well done.

As the Cheeky Girls once crooned: “Touch my bum, this is life.” Understand those enigmatic words my friend and you will have unlocked the secret to life itself.

Sagittarius

Libra

Capricorn

Capricorn You’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. Namely Showgirls in Kings Cross.

Try Bada Bings just down the road instead, you’re much less likely to catch crabs off the girls in there. They’re all together a much better quality of whore.

Aries

Inspired by the Olympics, you try your hand at the ancient discipline of modern pentathlon.

Unfortunately, it’s bloody hard work and it soon becomes apparent that you’re shit at it. Instead, after watching the closing ceremony, you come up with a new version of the modern pentathlon – shagging all five of the Spice Girls. You can already tick Mel B off the list – you screwed her a couple of months ago but didn’t recognise her because it was just before she went on the Jenny Craig diet, and her hair was all over her fat face.

Cancer

You fall asleep on the train to Town Hall and wake up in Perth. How did that happen?! It was only meant to go as far as Cronulla. Not only that, but the train appears to have taken you back in time too, to an age when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. Luckily, you are adopted by a family of brachiosaurs and spend the rest of the Jurassic period eating leaves from tall trees and doing big poos. Excitement!

Scorpio

You wake up tomorrow with the face of Jimmy Hill. While this has many down sides, not least of which is the intensely negative affect it has on your love life, it does mean you can make a tidy profit on the after-dinner circuit talking about the old days at Fulham.

Ulysses! Ulysses! Searching through all the galaxies! In search of Earth – flying into the night!

Gemini Come on Gemini, man up! So what if your girlfriend bought a boxset of the Bridget Jones films - 1pm on a weekday is Macgyver time, and you’ve got to put your foot down or that bitch will walk all over you. Always remember WWMD What Would MacGyver Do? He certainly wouldn’t have a wank in the bathroom and then pretend to enjoy the fight scene between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. Would Richard Dean Anderson put up with this shit? No he wouldn’t. He’d build a bomb out of a hairpin and shampoo, or something. So grow some balls, and a dodgy mullet. It’s time to become the man you’ve always dreamed of being.

Aquarius Pisces

You meet a girl from Greece with a thirst for knowledge. Apparently, she went to St Martin’s College and studied sculpture. She tells you that her dad’s loaded, then she gets you a rum and cola. Half a minute later, she says she wants to sleep with you. A result for the common man. Get in chap!

Virgo

Taurus

Sorry Taurus, I was out of the house when your fortune was on, and I set the timer wrong so I only caught the credits. All I know is that your month will involve a cameo appearance from Paul Hogan, and the voice of your girlfriend will be provided by Toni Collette.

You finally work out the DIY instructions to that chest of drawers you bought from IKEA seven months ago. You still manage to put the handles on the wrong way though. You clot!

ASK CRYSTAL Dear Crystal,

On the surface, I seem to have the perfect life. A great job, a great house and a nympho girlfriend. But I don’t think I can ever be truly happy until I fulfill a lifelong sexual fantasy. My girlfriend is pretty much up for anything in the bedroom department - you name it, she’s shoved it up herself – but I’m scared to tell her about my secret fetish.

You see, it would be the biggest sexual thrill for me if I could have a threeway with her and another woman – with the two of them dressed as Kath and Kim. They could say things like “that’s noice, that’s noice” and “louk at me, loooouk at me.” Do you think she’d understand?

Yours, Jim

Dear Jim,

Bloody hell that is a bit weird. But as it happens, I look a bit like Kath so if your girl is up for it, give me a call and I’ll pop round round with my blonde afro.

Dear Crystal,

I started a new job about a year ago and soon became good friends with a lad called Pete in accounts. After a few months, Pete told me he was gay, but I’m a pretty open-minded guy and I told him it didn’t bother me in the slightest. Anyway, my luck with the ladies has been pretty shit over the last few years. The only screw I ever get is when they leave me and take half my things with them. Pete’s been with me through all of this but then, the other night, after my latest lady-based disaster he said I should go out with him instead. At first I was disgusted, but then he outlined his case: he likes football, he lives in a great big house with loads of video games and is absolutely loaded, we love drinking together and we never argue. Frankly, he makes a good case. The only issue is he said he’d have to do me up the shitter at least once a fortnight. That’s a deal-breaker for me. Am I being too prudish? Yours, Keith

Dear Keith,

In a word Keith, yes you are being too prudish. I’d suck off a herd of elephants every fortnight if it meant a tonne of cash and an easy life. Man up and bend over. So what if you’re not gay? Gay blokes have pretended to be something they’re not for centuries, it’s about time the tables were turned. Take it like a man… so to speak.

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BBM REPORT

The Best Jobs To Keep You In Oz

Let’s face it. If you had the choice of living in Australia or returning home right now not many would blame you if you decided to switch to life down under. Except possibly your overprotective mother. To put it simply, Australia has everything and more. The sunshine, the beaches, the laidback disposition of the locals, stunning natural landscapes and an economy that seems to have its head above water. Hell, they even speak English. That explains why so many opt to head to the Land of Oz as part of their plans to see the world, yet find it difficult to leave.

Those sauntering around on a Working Holiday Visa quickly learn that their year-long stay is nowhere near enough as time flies, especially when you are having fun.

Then the money runs out. Those months of travelling with only a backpack and a smile to your name are going to have to end some time. The real world lies beyond the schooners and the surf, which equates to that one thing all backpackers have run away from: a job. Sorry to break it to you but things cost money and sometimes you just have to earn it.

For those looking past the temporary bar job to save the pennies while lounging at the beach there are ways to extend your stay. One of the more popular options to see more of the real Australia is the three months of regional work to qualify for a second year visa. Beyond that you will need to think long-term, you will need to consider sponsorship. Yes, the last time you probably heard that word was during Comic Relief and you were covering yourself in baked beans for a worthy cause.

In this case, sponsorship is your ticket to residing down under. If you can find a job where an employer will vouch for you, take you on and want to keep you in Australia as a skilled worker then you can start to think about settling here. The Employer Sponsored visa (also known as the 457 visa) will apply to most backpackers and can keep you in Australia for up to four years, in effect tying you to a job so think of it as a four-year contract. Of course, there is paperwork to complete including a skills assessment and even chest X-rays yet the company sponsoring you usually foot the bill.

But why look for sponsorship when sponsorship can come to you. On 1 July 2012 the Australian government brought in Skillselect; an initiative designed to create demand driven opportunities. If you have specific talents and want to migrate to Australia then you can record your details for employers to consider you for a skilled visa.

This not only quickens the rate in which visa applications

can be processed, but means that you can choose which states and territories you would like to work in.

The more areas you can consider working in, the more chance you have of being sponsored. Like bees to honey many head straight to the coasts but try to consider working in regional Australia. Yes, being out in the Outback is a little like that Simpsons episode with neighbours living hours away and plots the size of counties but solitude can be bliss. Taking a job in an area where there are skills shortages can also earn you brownie points with the immigration department towards sponsorship and residency.

But how do I gain sponsorship?

Firstly, build your networks. Use whatever means you can to put yourself out there and gain contacts. Twitter, and social media in general, can be a great start as it can provide a direct link to making friends with companies you want to work for. Chat to friends in Australia who have gained sponsorship. With such a huge ex-pat population down under the chances are you already know someone.

Ask them to ask anyone they think would be able to help you gain sponsorship, the more people that are looking for you the more opportunities may come up. Sometimes, it is not what you know but who you know.

If possible try to organise some volunteering work in the profession you are aiming to be sponsored in. While it will usually be unpaid it helps to have some sort of experience working in Australia when you are looking for a sponsor. Non Profit Organisations Australia is a good place to start looking for companies to approach for volunteer work as they have a substantial list.

Another route to sponsorship for backpackers lies in studying in Australia then transferring visa status and eventually finding sponsored employment. If you are looking for further education then check for courses relating to the industry you want to work in. Student visas in Australia usually entitle you to a set amount of hours per week for you to work. Use that time to network and gain work experience in Australia as the equivalent time spent and qualification will certainly mean more if you want to stay.

If further education is not an option then check the skills and qualifications that you already have. While it may be difficult to find employment using your university degree in the UK’s precarious job market at the moment, it may be easier in Australia. You may even be eligible for sponsorship in a job that is targeted by the Australian government under one of their General Skilled Migration categories. With this in mind Canberra’s finest have noted down which nominated occupations they need filling and there are several vocations on the rather grandly titled Consolidated Sponsored Occupation List with talents that transfer from Blighty to Oz. One rewarding vocation in demand is that of teacher.

While the education system differs slightly in Australia with different age-groups moving through pre-primary, primary and secondary school, the skills to teach are largely the same. Helpfully, they also teach a similar range of core subjects including English, Maths, Science etc. This means that qualifying for a teaching job requires a similar level of requirements including the university degree and professional teaching studies. You would also have to provide evidence that you have 30 days of supervised teaching practice under your belt. If you are licensed to teach in Australia and meet all English language requirements then you may well qualify.

With tourism being a major draw in Australia, hospitality is an area that can offer sponsorship. Backpackers get to stay by the beach, local businesses keep on enthusiastic workers; it’s a win-win situation for all. While vocations such as barman and waitress tend to attract a large turnover, working at the desk as part of customer service in a hostel can bring on long-term reward. Not only do you get to meet people from around the world on a daily basis but there is also the chance that you can arrive at a destination you want to call home and find a means to stay.

Even recruitment is, well, recruiting. This is the sort of position that can lead to a transfer overseas as the skills used as a careers counselor, staff selector or recruitment consultant are largely the same in Australia as they are in other parts of the world. Finding suitable candidates for jobs is now an international business and many recruitment firms are staffed by British ex-pats.

Medical care is also an area on the lookout and the list of positions is considerable. Doctors, surgeons, physiotherapists, optometrists, dentists; all could secure sponsorship in Australia. It can be relatively simple to transfer too as Lisa Miller found out when she followed her dream to become a nurse down under. With four years experience back in the UK, she is now a registered nurse in Sydney and found it relatively easy to organise after applying online. Within a week she had an offer which suggests that if the position is in demand, the process becomes far more straightforward. “I was told that if you can fill in the paperwork, we’ll have you tomorrow. I do think it’s worth it. The job is a lot better as is the pay. The lifestyle is also really good with the only downfall being that you don’t have your family here” she said.

The creative industries are flourishing in Australia so web designers, multimedia designers and graphic designers are all sought after. Requisite skills and a portfolio would be encouraged but of an added interest is the fact that the job would most likely be based in one of the major cities, namely Sydney and Melbourne. Ideal if you have seen Wolf Creek and the prospect of heading to the Outback fills you with a pertinent dread.

In a similar vein, IT is also being targeted as an industry hoping to draw in the best from overseas. A national broadband service is currently being built which perhaps explains why the likes of software engineers, developer programmers and systems analysts are included on the list.

Those with culinary talents are also in demand with bakers, chefs and cooks all sought after. As expected, experience is key with those having spent more time in the kitchen getting a better chance of being sponsored.

A similar rule applies to hairdressers as Australians need their hair cutting occasionally too. Again, the more experience the better backed by a relevant degree too.

However, what can also boost the chance of gaining sponsorship is belonging to a related association, for instance beauty therapy.

Some vocations are in demand across the globe and Australia is no exception. With modern technology bringing the world together there are many opportunities for those who can speak in many tongues. The positions of interpreter and translator are two more that can get you sponsored in Australia. Obviously, the more languages the better as international businesses, as well as courts, schools and hospitals, are looking for verbal and written translation.

Australia are also in short supply of tradesmen and can offer sponsorship on a wide range of skilled trades. From carpenters, gasfitters and plasterers the list is exhaustive.

There is also the points system to consider as various aspects of the application to live and work in Australia are awarded points. The more skilled you are and the more your skills are in demand, the more points you are awarded. Points are also awarded based on age, qualifications and command of the English language so it is worth checking out if your application would be successful before jetting over. For the likes of qualified and experienced engineers, electricians, and joiners, if you intend to start a business this gets you even more kudos.

Finally, you could be one of the little cogs that make the big cogs go around and find yourself in an administration job in Australia. The specific title is Project Administrator so even if you find yourself stuck behind a desk you may as well make it one with a sunny vista outside and a beach nearby.

Switching to life down under is a huge decision but remaining in Australia and gaining sponsorship need not be that complicated if you have a specific position in mind and come equipped with the relevant skills and qualifications. Whatever position you filled in the UK there’s a chance it is included on the Sponsored Occupation List and could be your ticket to better prospects in Australia. Positions such as teachers, nurses, electricians, translators, hairdressers and recruitment consultants are all viable means of getting sponsored. Living the dream in Oz does not have to end with the expiration of your Working Holiday Visa.

By Omar Soliman

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EMPLOYMENT, TAX & VISAS I heard there are changes happening to migration on the first of July, how will this affect me?

Firstly, these changes only really affect general skilled migration. Other migration programs such as Employer Sponsored will remain largely unchanged. The only change affecting the employer sponsored and skilled visas is that there will be a consolidation of lists of occupations. The Department will also streamline the processing of employer sponsored visas and make the transition for temporary to permanent easier for applicants. This is of particular significance for 457 holders, or people wishing to apply for 457 visas.

General skilled migration is completely changing with the introduction of SkillSelect. Applicants lodge an expression of interest and then they will be invited to apply based on their EOI. Applicants will then have their applications placed on a database for potential employers or state sponsorship.

Essentially, this new process will speed up processing times. For the old system of general skilled migration, processing times were 20 months+. This new system will simplify the process. The Department of Immigration is estimating a 9 month processing time.

Other visas such as partner visas will remain unaffected.

Have a question about immigration? ask the experts: rossana@immiexperts.com.au or check out the forum on www.immiexperts.com.au

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EMPLOYMENT

KINGS COURT MASSAGE is the best place to learn adult massage. Kings is well organised with tight guidelines (no sex) and the other girls are friendly to work with. You will gain confidence as you learn adult massage and the style of the place makes you look good. You just need to be the girl-next-door. We have an understanding boss and the clients are younger and more polite than other places. Enjoy cash money on a casual basis paid daily from the beginning.

Training provided Discreet, Paid daily Flexible hours Foxtel and internet access for staff Friendly Female management Located in the heart of Sydney Earn $150+ per hour

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Have a look at the web site. It is safe to scan in a cafĂŠ (no porn.)

There is a map to guide you to us.

Drop in for a chat and we will have one of our ladies show you around. We are along from central railway near the university precinct. Catch a bus to Victoria Park bus stop then look across the road.

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TRAVEL - NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

NZ

Things to do SKYDIVING Skydive Lake Wanaka Ltd 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com Nzone ‘The Ultimate Jump’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SkydivingNZ.com New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING Shotover Jet

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

Glacier Guiding Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Going to Fiji?

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

ACCOMMODATION Beachcomber Island Resort Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

river boarding Mad Dog RiverBoarding 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

Accommodation Christchurch City Oasis 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Coker’s Backpackers 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS Bay Adventurer Backpackers & Apartments 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

Kaikoura Adelphi Lodge Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Queenstown

auckland

Bungi Backpackers 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Southern Laughter Lodge 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Nomads Queenstown 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

Nomads Auckland 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

Franz Josef Glacier

Nomads Capital 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

Chateau Franz 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Glow Worm Cottages 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Nomads Fat Camel 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

The Beachouse Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com Smugglers Cove Beach Resort & Hotel P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

wellington

Robinson Crusoe Island Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

The Uprising Beach Resort 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com Nadi Bay Resort Hotel Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ Nadi Bay Downtown Backpackers Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

MUST DO Skydiving

Skydive Fiji 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj

‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

Scuba Diving

Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

Fiji’s multi award winning Dive and Watersports Company.

Enjoy HALF PRICE on all diving and PADI dive courses during February and March at Beachcomber and Treasure Island Resorts.

AUSTRALIA - THINGS TO DO Skydiving

Scuba Diving Australia

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS

PRODIVE CAIRNS

1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au

SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS

Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au

SKYDIVE BYRON BAY

P.O.Box 1615, Byron Bay, NSW, 2481 Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS

1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra, QLD, 4551 Ph: +61 7 5437 0211 Mob: +61 0418 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au/

SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR

P.O. Box 351 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs

SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS

51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au

SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY

36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com

SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH

51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

116 Spence Street, Cairns QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 5255 www.prodivecairns.com

THE SCUBA CENTRE

Surf Schools SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au

Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach 230 Sugarloaf Rd. Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE

MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING

Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, Western Australia Free: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au

Adventure Tours GOIN SOUTH

Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au

TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM

Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg SA 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au

A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING

McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au

L4, 362 Kent St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com

BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com

PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au

BALLOON SUNRISE

PO Box 229 Yarra Glen 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

Kite Surfing KITESURF 1770

The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING

KITE REPUBLIC

OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS

3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au

10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com

MOJO SURF

Ph: 1800 113 044 www.mojosurf.com.au

SURF SHACK

Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au

GO SURFING BYRON BAY

Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com

LETS GO SURFING

Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au

SURFING AUSTRALIA

Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com

PARADISE JET BOATING

Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

Bike Riding Tours ESCAPE GOAT

Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

Zorb Balls OZ BALL GOLD COAST Go Zorbing with Oz Ball.

Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.ozball.com.au

Marine Charters

Wine and Beer Tours

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS

PRIME MINI TOURS

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS

2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

ADVENTURE KAYAKING

7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

JET SKI SAFARIS

Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au

Melrose Park, South Australia 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com

CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR

Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au

BIG NIGHT OUT IN SURFERS PARADISE Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net

PARTY IN CAIRNS

Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au

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ACCOMMODATION AUSTRALIA New South Wales Sydney World Square Hostel 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au Sydney Backpackers 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com Clovelly Hotel 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au Criterion Hotel 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au Westend Backpackers 412 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW, 2000 Free: 1800 013 186 Ph: 02 9211 4588 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.westendbackpackers.com See the CHURCH - Australia’s largest dorm!

Jolly Swagman Backpackers Hostel 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au Bondi Backpackers 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au Oxford Court Accommodation Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers.

Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests.

The Globe Backpackers 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com City Resort Hostel 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

The George Street Hotel 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Free: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au Bounce Sydney 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au Lord Wolseley Hotel 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au Maze Backpackers 417 Pitt St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 5115 Free: 1800 813 522 info@mazebackpackers.com www.mazebackpackers.com Porterhouse Hotel 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au Big Hostel Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’Malley’s Hotel 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au

Sydney Central Hostel 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au The Royal Hotel 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au Kanga House backpackers 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

Sydney Northern Beaches Sydney Beachouse - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

Sydneys Southern Beaches Cronulla Beach YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS Melaleuca Surfside Backpackers 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au Hunter Valley Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

Katoomba Katoomba Mountain Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

Byron Bay Aquarius Backpackers 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au Nomads Byron Bay 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Arts Factory Lodge 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

Nambucca Heads Nambucca Backpackers 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 info@nambuccabackpackers.com.au www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au

Lake Tabourie Lake Tabourie Tourist Park Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

Queensland Brisbane Tinbilly Travellers 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 44 66 46 reservations@tinbilly.com www.tinbilly.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad The Deck 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind.

Minimum 2 week stay Base QLD Backpackers 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au

Brisbane City YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

Goldcoast Trekkers Backpackers 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au BOOK 2 NIGHTS GET 2 NIGHTS FREE Valid May till Sep 2012. Min 2 nights.

Conditions apply Aquarius Backpackers 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au Surfers Paradise YHA at Main Beach Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Backpackers in Paradise 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com Surf N Sun Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com Sleeping Inn Surfers 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au Coolangatta Sands Hostel Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393

res@islander.com.au

www.islander.com.au/Backpackers Surfers Paradise Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

Noosa Nomads Noosa 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

Hervey Bay Nomads Hervey 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770 (Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) Cool Bananas 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 Southern Cross (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 Beachside Backpackers 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

Cairns CAirns Share House 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com Nomads Cairns 341 Lake Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Free: 1800 737 736 bookings@nomadscairns.com www.nomadshostels.com Stay 4 nights, pay only 3! Or $5 off 1st night with this ad.

Cairns Central YHA 20-26 McLeod Street, Cairns QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4051 0772 cairnscentral@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Gilligans backpackers hotel & resort 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au Nomads Esplanade 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com Dreamtime Travellers Rest 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com Globetrotters International 154-156 Lake st Cairns City QLD Free: 1800 22 55 87 info@globetrottersinternational.com.au www.globetrottersinternational.com.au Nomads Cairns Beach House 239 Sheridan Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Tel: 1800 229 228 or (07) 4041 0431 bookings@nomadsbeachhouse.com www.nomadsworldhotels.com Dorm from just $12 The Northern Greenhouse 117 Grafton Street Cairns QLD 4000 Ph: 1800 000 541 northern@friendlygroup.com.au www.northerngreenhouse.com.au JJ’s Backpackers 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

Mission Beach Absolute Backpackers 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au Scotty’s Beach House 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

Whitsundays Barefoot Lodge Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Airlie Beach Airlie Beach YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/Whitsunday Village Travel 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

cape tribulation PK’s Jungle Village Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com Ferntree Rainforest Lodge Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

rainbow beach Pippies Beach House Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco WhaleWatching for all!

Western Australia scarborough western beach lodge 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

COTTESLOE ocean beach backpackers Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

Perth Rainbow Lodge 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au One World Backpackers 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au Mountway Holiday Apartments 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au Britannia on William 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA Accommodation Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 email: jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au Underground Backpackers 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com Beatty Lodge 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au Billabong Resort 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au Globe Backpackers 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au The Old Swan Barracks 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

monkey mia Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

Kununurra Kununurra Backpackers Adventure Centre 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

broome Beaches of Broome 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

Victoria Mildura redcliffs hotel 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

Halls Gap Brambuk Backpackers Hostel 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

Melbourne Easystay Motel and Studio Apartments Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30

Melbourne Central YHA 562 Flinders Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: (+613) 9621 2523 melbcentral@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Centrally located, close to public transport and major attractions. Free city circle tram on doorstep,24 hour reception, wifi and Skype available. Rooftop deck.

Melbourne Metro YHA 78 Howard Street, North Melbourne 3051 Phone: (03) 9329 8599 melbmetro@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Winner of the Victorian Tourism Award for Best Backpacker Accommodation three years running! 24 hour reception.

Exford Hotel 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au Nomads Melbourne 196-198 A’Beckett Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 44 77 62 Ph: 03 9328 4383 bookings@nomadsmelbourne.com nomadshostels.com Funkiest backpackers in Melbourne!

Back of Chapel 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com Nomads All Nations 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad Flinders Station Hotel Backpackers 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

Melbourne International Backpackers 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au The Greenhouse Backpackers 228 Flinders Lane, Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: 1800 249 207 greenhouse@friendlygroup.com.au www.greenhousebackpacker.com.au Hotel Discovery 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au

St. Kilda Jackson Apartments 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com OSLO HOTEL 38 Grey St, St Kilda Melbourne Ph: 1800 501752 Free call or (03) 95254498 or mob: 0407115610 (any time) info@oslohotel.com.au www.oslohotel.com.au From $132 per week, 4 bed dorms Habitat HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

Apollo Bay Apollo Bay Backpackers Lodge 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au Eco Beach YHA Eco-Hostel 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

Halls Gap Grampians YHA Eco-Hostel Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

Phillip island

THE ISLAND ACCOMMODATION Phillip Island travel and accommodation packages

Ph: (+61 3) 5956 6123

The Big Wave Complex 10 - 12 Phillip Island Tourist Road Newhaven Phillip Island, Victoria info@theislandaccommodation.com.au www.theislandaccommodation.com.au

EXPERIENCE THE PENGUIN PARADE! Northern Territory Darwin Ashton lodge & Wisdom Bar 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au Melaleuca on Mitchell 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

alice springs Annie’s Place 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

South Australia Adelaide Adelaide Travellers Inn Backpackers 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au Majestic Minima Hotel 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com Adelaide Shakespeare International 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots.

You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

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