BBM SEPTEMBER ISSUE 792

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CONTENTS

TRAVEL 34-41

This month we take a look at some of the most incredible train journeys in the world, from Macchu Picchu to Switzerland, take a road trip along Portugal’s Alentejo Coast, and visit one of Vietman’s most stunning locations, Ha Long Bay.

Back in Australia, we venture to Hervey Bay, the whale watching capital of the world, as well as tick off our Queensland bucket list. We take a trip down to stunning South Australia and show you all the fun you can have when you take a trip down south.

australia 28-33

HOT RIGHT NOW SYDNEY / MELBOURNE / PERTH

Secret Bars Sydney/Melbourne/Perth

Interviews WORK

From finding work, to getting a mortgage, we give you a run down of the best places to help you find a job in Australia, and also have a chat with successful ex-pat Graham Cordery on how he’s made a life for himself down under.

42 - STEVE AOKI 44 - JOHN DIGWEED 45 - JASON BYRNE

Stereosonice 2014 4

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22 - 27 The dance event of the year is on its way. Read more about what you can expect this year. Pages 8-9

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New on www.bbmlive.com EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby SUB EDITOR Charlotte Mellor CONTRIBUTORS Omar Soliman, Sophie Saint, Isaac Tesfamariam, Naomi Finniss, Michael Fenn, Matthew Aston, Dan Barnes, Stephanie Cross, Esther Anyakwo, Brice Detruche WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber DESIGN Basil Thomas design@what-media.com Michael Cusack PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir tom.shakir@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162

TRAVEL IDEAS

Sophie Saint takes a sailing holiday to Croatia.

Interviews Bondax Tricky

Isaac Tesfamariam creative@what-media.com Joe Smith marketing2@what-media.com ACCOUNT ADMIN Rahim Noruzi accounts@what-media.com CLASSIFIEDS & LISTINGS info@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162

THINGS TO DO

BEST IRISH PUBS NATIONWIDE

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FESTIVAL

Stereosonic 2014 The time has come for you to get ready for one of the biggest dance events in the Southern Hemisphere... The biggest electronic music festival in Australia returns in November with the most exciting line-up yet. Hitting up Perth, Sydney, Adelaide, Melbourne and Brisbane, Stereosonic will be bringing the very best in trance, house, techno, bass and EDM across two weekends for an epic music experience. Since its first date in 2007, Stereosonic has become the fastest growing music festival in the country. Making its debut in Melbourne, it took over the current five cities for the first time in 2009, and only became a two-day festival in 2013. Always attracting the top DJs and producers, you will find that this year’s headliners are no strangers to Stereosonic… The particularly spectacular line-up is too long for us to name them all (we’d run out of space), but an example of what you can expect is Calvin Harris, Skrillex, Tiesto, Alesso, Diplo, Disclosure and Steve Aoki. These international acts will join Australian artists Joel Fletcher, Alison Wonderland, Timmy Trumpet, Tigerlily and NERVO, making Stereosonic the number one event for electronic fans. Together with worldrenowned record labels and music brands, the insane production that DJ sets are associated with and the immaculate show grounds in the heart of the five cities, you would be crazy to miss this. The fantastic location in each city means that the event is easily accessible and camping is not permitted, so you can rock up in the morning 8

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and sleep in the comfort of your own home once the final act has finished, before returning for the second round. Sydney’s show will take place in Sydney Olympic Park, Claremont Showground will host Perth, Adelaide Showground in Wayville will welcome ticket-holders in South Australia, Ascot Vale’s Melbourne Showground will hold Melbourne’s dates, and Brisbane’s event will be at the Brisbane Showground in Bowen Hills. The fun kicks off in Perth and Sydney on Saturday 29th and Sunday 30th November, continues into Adelaide on Friday 5th and Saturday 6th December, and finishes in Melbourne and Brisbane on Saturday 6th and Sunday 7th. Third Release tickets are now available to buy from ticketmaster.com.au, with a maximum of four tickets per transaction. Tickets are priced depending on the city, with Sydney $229.95pp, Perth $224.95pp, Adelaide $214.95pp, Melbourne $229.95pp and Brisbane $223.95pp. A limited number of one-day tickets will be made available from October. Ticket-holders must be 18 years of age or older. Specific set times will be announced a few weeks before the festival. Volunteer and bar staff opportunities will be offered closer to the dates of the festival, as will maps of the festival grounds. Public transport will be available to take ticket-holders to and from the festival. For more information, to check terms and conditions and stay updated, head to www.stereosonic.com.au.


Don’t miss... You might think you know the acts at the top of your list for Stereosonic, but here’s a few to put on your must see list from this year’s line-up.

Wilkinson

Route 94

A wicked house tune featuring the vocals of Jess Glynne, ‘My Love’ shot Route 94 into the spotlight in 2014. Also known as Rowan Tyler Jones, he has previously produced dubstep and remixed the likes of Outkast and Katy B. Having most recently played at Eastern Electrics, Notting Hill Carnival and Brownstock Festival in the UK, his slick and stylish set is one to watch when he makes the journey to Stereosonic.

Tigerlily

Representing British drum and bass, DJ and producer, Wilkinson, is best known for ‘Afterglow’ featuring (yet again) Becky Hill, but he also DJs all over the world. Acknowledged as the best breakthrough producer in 2012, he has released two albums, most recently played at Reading and Leeds Festival, and will release his next single, ‘Dirty Love’ featuring Talay Riley on 26th September.

A unique style and infectious personality, Tigerlily is one of Sydney’s hottest DJs. A young talent, her dip-dyed locks can’t be missed, her residencies include Pacha, and she spent three dates with Tiesto on his Asian Club Life Tour 2013. Since coming runner up in a DJ competition for young people in 2011, she has become a staple of the Australian dance music scene.

Oliver Heldens

Before even out of his teens, Oliver Heldens has impressed the likes of Tiesto and made waves with ‘Gecko (Overdrive)’ featuring Becky Hill, topping the UK charts in June. The Dutch producer has released on Spinnin’ Records and Musical Freedom and appeared at all the major European dance festivals over the summer including EDC, Tomorrowland, Creamfields and Electric Zoo Festival.

Matteo Milleri and Carmine Conte are Tale Of Us, an American electronic duo that create deeply moving and euphoric house and techno with infusions of pop, disco and rock. Currently based in Berlin, they earned the title of second best DJs in the world on a 2013 Resident Advisor poll and have toured and continue to tour extensively through North America and Europe, and need to be seen at Stereosonic to understand why they achieved such an honour.

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By Charlotte Mellor

Tale Of Us


ON THE PITCH

Football Becomes A Name Game

Being an ex-pat sports fan in Australia fan can be a confusing affair. Mention the name Craig Bellamy to someone who’s been here less than a couple of years, and the words “Welsh twat” will almost inevitably spring to mind. But for anyone who’s been here longer, the phrase “Melbourne twat” will spring to mind instead. And don’t even get us started on Kevin Sheedy and Gary Ablett. We’ve always dismissed these similar sporting names as a coincidence, but following a report this month that there’s been a surge in babies being named Neymar and Cristiano in England and Wales, we’re starting to wonder. Poor little buggers. Still, it’s better than being called Wayne. There were also six Zicos born last year, as well as three Beckhams and 16 Zidanes. There were even 105 babies named Luis (and three called Suarez). Ironically, they’ll probably be teething about now. Of the 23 players shortlisted for the 2013 Ballon d’Or award, Thomas Muller and Robert Lewandowski were both the highest represented by newborns in England and Wales, although it’s unlikely that many of the 4591 new Toms were named in tribute to the great gangly German. But of course, there are worse-named footballers to be christened after – which is basically an excuse for us to list (and laugh at) some of them again. Congolese striker Christ Bongo, for example, had a reasonably successful career in Germany, then there’s Marseille player and former France international Rod Fanni (which sounds more like something you do than a name) and of course there’s former Socceroos goalkeeper Norman Conquest. There’s also former Dutch right-back Huuj Throbbin Dong, which would be a highly amusing name had we not just made it up.

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After the second round of the 2014/2015 English Premier League fixtures hearing the final whistle there’s been some shock results and it has instantly got football fans gripped. But, the time difference is a killer and we know some of you guys will struggle to battle with sleep as trying to catch the games live will leave most of you having to stay up until the early hours of the morning! “But how will we get our football fix?” We hear you say and we’ve got the answer. The Hyundai A-League! YUP, you’ve read that right. Australia’s answer to the English Premier League kicks off on Friday 10th October with Melbourne Victory taking on Western Sydney Wanderers at the Etihad Stadium. And what’s better than supporting your local team? The A-League welcomes Spanish international David Villa to Melbourne City FC, so it really doesn’t matter that they’re doing a solid job holding up the league from last place. Villa comes to Melbourne off the back of a very successful final season with La Liga winner, Atletico Madrid, and hopes to boost the profile of the league.

So, support your local team, pull on a jersey and head to the best sports bar with a group of your mates. Enjoy a cool beer and watch the game so you’ve got some football action to keep you entertained, because let’s face it, watching the EPL isn’t exactly practical when you’re living in Australia.

September EPL Fixtures (AEST) 13-14th September Arsenal v Man City - 21:45 Chelsea v Swansea - 00:00 Sunderland v Tottenham - 00:00 Liverpool v Aston Villa - 02:30 15th September Man Utd v QPR - 01:00 21st September Aston Villa v Arsenal - 00:00 22st September Man City v Chelsea - 01:00 27th September Liverpool v Everton - 21:45

By Isaac Tesfamariam

There’s Football Outside Of The EPL!

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OVERHEARD IN THE CHANGING ROOMS... Liverpool without Luis Suarez is like Manchester City without money. Liverpool stop training as Balotelli arrives. He’s brought his Premier League winners’ medal and they’re taking turns holding it. Have you heard about the new Arsenal Bra? It has a lot of support but no cups.

Little Shirt shows his true colours

As a Grimsby Town fan, BBM has obviously been accused of glory hunting many, many times. That’s just par for the course when you support the team that famously won “the double” in 1997-98 (that’s right, the Mariners won the Division Two play-off final AND the Auto-Windscreens Shield – an incredible feat never achieved before or since). But in the most despicable piece of glory-hunting we’ve seen since Italy changed sides at the end of the Second World War, a young Newcastle Town fan has put 20 Toon shirts, five pairs of shorts and two pairs of socks on eBay – because he wants to support Manchester City instead.

Rihanna should marry Liverpool players instead of Chris Brown, they don’t beat anyone.

There hasn’t been a greater betrayal in football since Cesc Fabregas started using his old Arsenal shirts to wipe his arse.

BREAKING NEWS: Emile Heskey just went on a large shooting spree in Birmingham…

Former Toon fan Edward Shirt (no seriously, that’s his name) even posed for cameras by putting his old Newcastle shirt in a bin while bedecked in the sky blue of City. Yet the fickle 13-year-old, from north Wales, claims his sudden switch has nothing to do with the fact City are Premier League champions nowadays. Course not. “It’s been fun supporting them but also a bit frustrating,” he blathered unconvincingly. “My favourite player was Andy Carroll, but they transferred him. Then it was Demba Ba, and then they transferred him as well. Then it was Fabricio Coloccini.” His mum went into damage control mode by saying the reason for the switch was because his dad and older brother support City and he wanted to go to matches. “They support Manchester City, whose ground is much easier to get to from here,” she said. “To get to Newcastle it’s about five hours by train and you have to change numerous times, whereas it’s a direct route to Manchester from here.” Alan Shearer would be turning in his grave if he heard this. Sadly for Match of the Day fans everywhere, Shearer isn’t dead.

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SYDNEY

Sizzling Sydney Sausages... Where can you find the delicious combination of sausages, mashed potato and gravy in Sydney? All of the following serve this classic English dish that makes our mouths water just thinking about it… Not only can you get great hospitality in this refreshing bar, grab your friends and make your way to Parkside for flavoursome pork and fennel sausages, creamy mash, peas and caramelised onion gravy for just $17! 495 Cleveland Street, Redfern parksidebar.com.au

Smash Sausage Kitchen

Decide how many bangers you want (one is $15.50, two is $18.50 and three is $21.50), choose the type of sausage, from smoky bacon, pork and maple to Hot As Hell Beef and even chicken with goat’s cheese and caramelised onion. Then order your dollop of mash featuring ingredients like parmesan, bacon and leek, and top your dish with a sauce of your choice. It’s a win win situation. 512 King Street, Newtown smashsausagekitchen.com.au

The Mean Fiddler

For a slightly different take on the traditional sausage and mash dish, pop down to the Mean Fiddler for your dinner this evening. Their delectable smoked bacon-wrapped bangers make a great alternative. Tuck into gourmet pork and fennel sausages served with a side of smooth mash potato, peas and onions right here for under $20. Windsor Road, Rouse Hill meanfiddler.com.au

Maloney’s Hotel

The authentic Irish pub in the Maloney’s Hotel boasts a special ‘Irish Corner’ of their food menu. Try their bangers and colcannon mash with a dash of onion gravy for the bargain price of $12.50! Why not add a boxty (an Irish potato pancake) to the side of your meal for just $4.90? 81 Goulburn Street maloneyshotel.com.au

By Naomi Finniss

Parkside Bar

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Hidden Bars In Sydney Why not discover discreet, quirky bars nestled in the alleyways of the city for some evening entertainment?

Absinthe Salon

With a Parisian vibe in a discreet location, the Absinthe Salon invites customers to delight in authentic Swiss and French absinthe. Not for the faint hearted, indulge in a selection of thirty whole herb distilled absinthes, discover how it is made and properly consumed, and compliment it with the $8 plate of almond biscotti, sugar pretzels and chocolate biscuits to sweeten your palate. 87 Albion Street, Sydney absinthesalon.com.au

Baxter Inn is a great location to wind down with a group of friends. Basement/152-156 Clarence Street, Sydney thebaxterinn.com

Love Tilly Devine

A pocket-sized venue situated in a low-key area of town, Love Tilly Devine boasts an exceptional wine list. Why limit your indulgence to the night time? Love Tilly Devine opens on Sunday afternoons at 4pm! A perfect location to get lost in an old novel over a glass of Chardonnay, there is no reason not to relax at Love Tilly Devine this weekend. 91 Crown Lane, Darlinghurst lovetillydevine.com

The Grasshopper

The Baxter Inn

By Naomi Finniss

A candle-lit, American inspired basement bar, The Baxter Inn boasts 360 different whiskies, traditional Australian wines and ports and beer on tap. With complimentary pretzels for every round of drinks and live performances regularly, the

The Grasshopper is an eccentric and vibrant bar, nestled in a side alley between the Strand Arcade and Hilton Hotel. Voted the Best Small Bar of the Year 2010 by Australian Bartender Magazine, the venue is a great space to reminisce with friends over a refreshing cocktail or two. With quirky second hand furnishings and an organic food and wine menu, you’ll love the originality and vitality of this hidden bar in Sydney’s CBD. 1 Temperance Lane, Sydney thegrasshopper.com.au

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T HO HT G RI OW N

Jonkanoo

Once inside this Caribbean joint, you will feel the origins from where it takes its name. Inspired by the street carnivals of Jamaica, Venezuela and the Bahamas, Jonkanoo celebrates the culture of the Caribbean, its people, music, dance and cuisine. The result is a concoction of small and large dishes, from street foods to curries, quintessential rum cocktails like Bahama Mama, and ice-cold bottles of Red Stripe. Or why not go for the classic jerk chicken with rice and peas on the side? 583 Crown Street, Surry Hills www.jonkanoo.com.au

Holy Kitsch!

Revive your senses with the contents of Holy Kitsch! Quirky collectibles, handmade art and creative gifts flood the shelves so browsing is an experience alone. From Australia to Central America, products are imaginative, artistic and, quite frankly, random. Pick up a skull, candelabra or hand painted mirror to decorate your home. 321 Crown Street, Surry Hills 4-6 Enmore Road, Newtown www.holykitsch.com.au

Looking for fun activities in Sydney this month? Here’s what’s happening right now!

Pssst! There’s a Jonkanoo Canteen inside Goodgod Small Club, so you can get your Caribbean fix while getting down on a Friday night!

ARISAIG TEA ROOMS

The Hughes Gallery - Lucy Culliton ‘Weeds Of The Monaro And Others’

From 4th September, you can appreciate the talent of Lucy Culliton, an oil painter who discovered inspiration in her garden, and has produced a collection of works on wild flowers including, perhaps surprisingly, weeds. Rich with colour and texture, Lucy brings these dandelions and thistles to life, enhancing their wilderness and freedom. This exhibition also includes Culliton’s love of landscape painting, as she paints the surroundings of her house, and portraits of Hilda Rix Nicholas’s minikins dolls, as she demonstrates her skills in surfacing and texture. 270 Devonshire Street, Surry Hills www.thehughesgallery.com

Arisaig is all about friendly Scottish hospitality, which is why this establishment serves up satisfying food and delicious drinks to warm your heart. Come for breakfast, lunch or dinner and enjoy a pick-me-up in the way of themed cocktails like the Aberdeen Slammer and Dundee Martin, or a wee dram of scotch whiskey courtesy of Glenmorangie, Laphroaig and Lagavalin. The Reader’s Digest Building, 26 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills www.arisaigtearooms.com.au

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MELBOURNE

HoptoberFest 2014

The grand event will be a fantastic celebration of all things German, with all you could expect such as a lively sausage eating competition in addition to live traditional music and entertainment. You’ll be greatly encouraged to pull out your lederhosen and get into the spirit of the festivities as the party will be running daily up until the 5th October 2014.

The whole occasion is family friendly with Sunday 21st September welcoming children to the festival with lots of great live German music and face painting. What’s brilliant about Hoptoberfest is that the Hophaus will be providing its traditional Bavarian food specials that will be accompanied by a ‘Special Oktoberfest Bier’. You’ll be sure to enjoy it and it’ll be served throughout the festival, so you won’t miss out on the specially imported bier straight from Bavaria.

There’s no doubt that this year in Melbourne you will become honorary Germans throughout Hoptoberfest and be sure to make it for the Launch Party on the 20th September. Other than the brilliant hospitality and tasty biers and food on offer, you could collect prizes and giveaways for being the best dressed.

If you’re after a booking, it is best to call ahead so that you can reserve the table that you’re after. To make a booking give Hophaus a call on 03 9682 5900. Mid Level, Southgate Restaurant & Shopping Precinct, Southbank hophaus.com.au

Launching on the 20th September 2014, the Hophaus is excited to introduce its very first Oktoberfest dubbing it ‘Hoptoberfest’.

This year the German bier festival is heading to Melbourne and Hophaus is bringing with it the famous German bier culture right to Melbourne’s Southbank.

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DOWN THE LANEWAYS BBM loves finding the cool quirky bars in and around Melbourne’s CBD and in the Laneways you can find a number of great bars that will hit the spot just right. We’ve put together our favourite drinking spots that you need to check out when you’re out and about in the city and we think you’ll love the Melbourne Laneway bars just as much as we do.

Badger vs Hawk

This great Laneway bar offers up fantastic drinks, mouth watering grilled dishes and on Fridays it is open from 8am through to 10pm so you can enjoy your breakfast before work then head back to kick off your weekend. With the bar rocking $10 mojitos and $5 Peroni bottles and the kitchen producing some extremely stacked burgers you will enjoy a good feed with tasty affordable drinks. 333 Latrobe Street (Bar entry on Flanigan Lane), Melbourne www.facebook.com/BadgerVsHawk

Hihou

This Japanese style cocktail and wine bar brings a touch of sophistication to the drinking world. Above the Nama Nama restaurant, Hihou serves up some exciting cocktails and sharp drinks to a very limited and exclusive number of drinkers. Once you’ve enjoyed a delicious serving of authentic Japanese cuisine, we advise that you venture upstairs to take your night to the next level. Basement, 114 Russell Street, Melbourne www.izakayaden.com.au

Bar Americano

When you head into the Melbourne CBD laneways, you’ll find Bar Americano on a lane of another lane! Finalist for Bar Of The Year 2013, this is one establishment you’ve got to visit. From Matt Bax, the creator of the Der Raum has continued the same ideas from that bar where the creation of the drinks are done so with an almost scientific approach. Bar Americano is an authentic

throwback to the 1920′s Italian bars with the drink selection taking a leaf out of Robert Vermeire’s 1922 book Cocktails: How to Mix Them. 20 Presgrave Place, Melbourne www.baramericano.com

Section 8

This is quite a low key bar with the location looking more like a vacated lot in China Town, but once you’ve got to the bar you won’t really care. Decorated with graffiti, hipster like characters holding intriguing conversations and the shipping container. Once you’ve got to the bar, the graffiti and hipster characters will spark your interest inside this converted shipping container, moving up the quirk factor by a notch or two. Come to people-watch or enjoy the odd DJ and MC pumping out some beats and spitting some bars. 27-29 Tattersalls Lane, Melbourne www.section8.com.au

Berlin Bar

One of the most well hidden bars in Melbourne, Berlin is a world away from the city, behind an unmarked black door on Corrs Lane. A flight of stairs will take you to another door with a doorbell. Ring it, and enter a post-modern era of German culture with divided sides, traditional table service and a nod to Charlie Chaplin. Luxurious on one half and modest the other, enjoy the themed cocktails and German beers within the rich brick walls or sumptuous backdrop of Berlin. 16 Corrs Lane, Melbourne www.berlinbar.com.au

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T O H HT G RI OW N

Arc One – Spook Country

Tadka Boom!

At Tadka Boom! you can experience traditional Indian street food with a contemporary twist in central Melbourne. From a family kitchen to the restaurant, the flavours of Kaboom! masala marinated lamb and chilli ginger prawns ignite all of the senses. 550 Bourke Street, Melbourne www.tadkaboom.com.au

Until 20th September, visitors to the Arc One gallery on Flinders Lane can view the works of Lyndell Brown, Charles Green and Jon Cattapan as they look at war and peace in Spook Country. The exhibition focuses on the globalised networks that support and sustain conflict, and then the aftermath of conflict. Arc One will proudly present the artworks by these Australian war artists, as they collaborate together for the first time on sites of conflict. 45 Flinders Lane, Melbourne www.arcone.com.au

Looking for something new to try this month? Here’s a few ideas of the most fun things to try this September.

Forgotten Worlds

Arcade games may not be the most typical entertainment in a bar, but Forgotten Worlds has cottoned onto a trend that combines Mortal Kombat with canned beer, burgers and the friendliest crew in Collingwood. What would once have been considered a haven for nerds is a cool but modest bar, not unlike a boys’ house share, to while away a few hours. 113 Johnston Street, Collingwood www.facebook.com/forgottenworldsarcade

Bad Frankie

If you’re a fan of jaffles (sandwich toasties) and rum, you should head down to Bad Frankie. Dedicated to the lost era back when small pot stills were outlawed by Governor of Van Diemen’s Land (Tasmania), John Franklin, you can combine The Chook with the Fitz Roy for a marriage made in heaven. 141 Greeves Street, Fitzroy www.badfrankie.com

After Online

If you’ve ever been to Pan After on Franklin Street or After Store opposite Queen Victoria Market on Therry Street, you’ll be pleased to know about After Online, the website that stocks everything you would find in store and more. From handmade homeware to carefully selected gifts, you can buy marble dishes, patterned rugs and scented candles to make your first home a little more… homely. Not only can you get something special, you will also be pleased to know you’re purchasing an item responsibly sourced that helps artisans and craft makers around the world. 126 Franklin Street & 99 Therry Street afteronline.com.au 18

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Homesick and fancy some good British grub? Here’s the best places to get yourselves some bangers and mash.

The Quiet Man Irish Pub With its selection of lagers and ales and an authentic Irish menu, if you’re going to sit down for a meal, we highly recommend The Quiet Man’s sausage and mash. For lunch, the ‘Pork Bangers & Mash’ comes with a perfectly made onion gravy, bacon and spring onions all for $17, and ‘Buncranna’s Bangers n’ Mash’ costs $18.90 in the evening. 271 Racecourse Road, Flemington www.thequietman.com.au

The Sherlock Holmes

If you’re looking for a traditional sausages and mash then take a seat at the Sherlock Holmes dining area. With English Cumberland sausages served on a bed of creamy mash and a side of peas, top off the dish with a nice portion of caramelized onion gravy. 415 Collins Street Basement, Melbourne www.thesherlockholmes. com.au

Pint On Punt

For only $18 you can tuck into award winning sausages from Paddy’s Irish Butchers that sit on a bed of buttery mash drizzled with a rich gravy. 42 Punt Road, Windsor www.pintonpunt.com.au

P.J. O’Brien’s

At this traditional Irish pub in Southbank, you will find

an amazing atmosphere, welcoming staff behind the bar and a menu filled with exceptional Irish dishes. Serving char grilled pork sausages, Colcannon mash with the tasty red wine gravy poured on top, you won’t be disappointed. Southgate Restaurant & Shopping Precinct, Southbank www.pjobriens.com.au

By Isaac Tesfamariam

Bangers & Mash

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PERTH

THE SECRET BARS

Fed up of heading down to the same bars and fancy trying somewhere new for a cocktail this evening? Here are our picks for the five hottest hidden bars in Perth!

Cheeky Sparrow

Ezra Pound

Nestled in William Street, Ezra Pound boasts a welcoming and tranquil environment. An ideal location for those who seek value for money, a professional service and a mellow evening, Ezra Pound provides innovative cocktails and an extensive beer and wine list. Kick back with a Rochdale cider and reminisce with old friends in a chilled atmosphere. 189 William Street, Williams Lane, Northbridge www.epbar.com.au

Helvetica Bar

Located among the tower blocks of Perth’s Central Business District, Helvetica Bar welcomes customers to lounge in a stylish, retro interior. With a maximum of 100 customers allowed in the bar at one given time, the Helvetica maintains a calm and friendly environment. Offering a wide variety of native and international beers and wines, as well as classic and original cocktails, guests are never short of beverages to choose from. 101 St Georges Terrace helveticabar.com.au

By Naomi Finniss

Situated in Wolf Lane discreetly off of Murray Street, a laneway in the centre of Perth, lies Cheeky Sparrow. A quirky cafĂŠ by day and fashionable bar by night, The Cheeky Sparrow is a great venue to grab a cocktail or two and catch up with a group of friends. Quench your thirst with a delectable El Diablo, a beverage infused with vanilla tequila, lime juice and ginger beer, or a Slow Gin Fizz, a cocktail comprising brokers gin, lemon and soda. Hosting a

celebration? Cheeky Sparrow can accommodate your function in a spacious and stylish social space - just head to their website and fill out the form provided. 1/317 Murray Street cheekysparrow.com.au

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T O H HT G RI OW N

Moore & Moore Café

Located within the walls of heritage-listed Moores Building in west Fremantle, this beautiful eatery features mouthwatering food and heartwarming coffee in a relaxing courtyard. The Moore & Moore coffee is roasted just down the road, Chapels Fine Teas in Maylands provides the black, white and green leaves, and the cakes that sit comfortably on the counter are made freshly in house. The Moores Building, 46 Henry Street, Fremantle mooreandmoorecafe.com

FOUND

Stocking a collection of gifts, jewellery, pottery, art and homewares by local artists, FOUND provides these visionaries with an outlet to promote and sell their works. You can find FOUND (sorry) inside Fremantle Arts Centre and purchase something unique and extraordinary for your home. 1 Finnerty Street, Fremantle www.fac.org.au/shop

Welcome spring by checking out what’s smoking in Perth this September...

The Yellow Door

Celebrate spring with amazing food, good company and live entertainment, as The Yellow Door comes to Perth Cultural Centre’s Urban Orchard this September. Held every Friday evening 6-10pm, book your place to enjoy drinks courtesy of BarPop, feast on food by Duck Duck Mother Goose and sip a Top Dup coffee. Western Australian musicians will also be pleasing to the ears as you relax after the long week. Tickets are $100pp. Urban Orchard of Perth Cultural Centre, Roe Street www. perthculturalcentre. com.au

Unique Tattoos

If you’ve been tempted to become a human doodle or have been searching for your new regular, put your faith in Unique Tattoos. The bright, tiki-themed studio is welcoming and relaxing, and tattooists are of the highest caliber. Unit 5, 513 Hay Street, Subiaco www.uniquetattoos.com.au

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WORK

A club night promoter now with his very own venue, Graham Cordery is an example of someone making it Down Under. Originally from Coventry, he came to Australia, worked in a call centre, got a few DJ gigs that turned into a regular slot, began running weekly club nights at one of Australia’s biggest hospitality groups and bought a blank canvas which turned into The Soda Factory – remarkable for a bloke that didn’t plan on staying past a month! “Funnily enough, I never really fancied Oz myself, and as soon as I got here I loved it straight away. Luckily I got the working holiday visa just in case and I was out of cash so I started working. One thing led to another and a month became 11 years and counting!” Proof that you really can make a success of yourself in Australia, Cordery’s first job wasn’t exactly one you’d associate with the fast-paced life of a club night promoter – cold calling to sell raffle tickets for the fire service – but his DJ experience in the UK and Ibiza led to She, his first big success, and the ball started rolling.

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“I started working as a DJ pretty quickly, making a few connections. I think I threw my first party a year after I got here. Originally, it was going to be a one-off, but it was pretty successful – we had about 500 people turn up and the venue only held 250. So I thought, “This is alright, I’ll probably do it again next month!” I started to run weekly club nights for other venues and on the strength of that, in 2009/10, we were asked to run events at ivy. My office was based on site at the venue, but it was a relationship where I was running it through my own business, as an external promoter. We did that for about three years. We looked after their Saturday nights, putting through about 4,000 people each weekend as well as public holidays, New Year’s Eve parties.” Booking world-renowned artists such as Laidback Luke, Basement Jaxx and Grandmaster Flash, events at ivy ultimately took off, as did the boat party scene and warehouse venues that Cordery undoubtedly contributed to. Despite becoming one of the most successful promoters in Sydney – “New Year’s Eve sold out three weeks before and I

had every promoter in Sydney like, ‘how the fuck did you do that?’” – he now runs a venue that’s all his own. The Soda Factory opened early in 2013 and has since garnered a loyal following for its hot dogs, movie nights and weekend shenanigans. Considering it was never Cordery’s intention to have his own club, he has mastered the hell out of it. “It was never a dream of mine to own a venue, and there have been times throughout the years where I’ve thought about the headache of owning a venue; you’ve got the rent, stock, utility bills and licensing, and I was happy to just bring the people to the venues. But I went to Miami a couple of years ago and saw the service level that they bring, cool bars and venues, and I started to see that I’d like to have a blank canvas and create something special myself.” So, with all his success and making a life for himself Down Under, what would Cordery suggest to the next generation of expats? “Definitely give it a go. It’s a place full of opportunities if you go out and look.”

By Charlotte Mellor

Making it Down Under

The prospect of starting a new life in another country can be daunting, but we speak to Graham Cordery who left Coventry, UK behind to set up The Soda Factory, which is now one of Sydney’s trendiest drinking holes... and here’s how he did it...


JOB HUNTERS Looking for a job? Improve your chances and spread yourself further with a recruitment agency. Not only do they have insider knowledge with industry trends and employers, they can advise you with their recruiting expertise and give you a helping hand with finding work. If you don’t know your Hays from your Hudson, here’s a rundown of the best recruitment agencies in Australia.

Hays

With an extensive range of resources, Hays is one of the most trusted recruitment and consulting services in the world. With offices throughout Europe, South America, USA, Asia and Australia, they focus on finding work for skilled professionals in industries including finance, construction, engineering, HR and marketing. They can boast success in finding permanent work for 15,000 people a year, and temporary/contract work for 33,000 more. Search for jobs on the website home page, register for job alerts or check out the Hays Quarterly Report and 2014 Salary Guide to see what research they’ve been doing in your sector. www.hays.com.au

Randstad

Improve your chances of finding work with Randstad; get help on how to write a cover letter and a CV, how to give a winning interview, or search for jobs in your industry and location. Register online, upload your CV and state your preferences on experience, industry and salary

for the experts at Randstad to match you with your dream job. Operating in 39 countries, with 25 years in Australia might we add, over 500,000 employees every day are working in companies through Randstad. www.randstad.com.au

Adecco

Over 50 years of industry experience in Australia makes Adecco extremely knowledgeable and qualified in all things recruitment. With 3,000 clients trusting them to find suitable professional employees in sectors such as banking, trades and mining, candidates receive career development, work support and insider knowledge on sectors and companies. You can actively find openings on the simple but effective job search, or find your nearest Adecco career consultant with central and regional branches. www.adecco.com.au

Hudson

Aiming to find the right talent for their clients, Hudson works with small and large companies to

fulfil their staffing needs, and so is looking for skilled individuals in a number of industries. From HR to IT, if you’re seeking work, chances are Hudson can hook you up with the role and company for you. As their recruiters have experience in the industries they work for, they have deep insider knowledge, using their own networks to find you employment, while also keeping up with trends and changes to recruitment. au.hudson.com

Australia Wide

It can benefit job seekers to look for a recruiter that specialises in their field, and Australia Wide is just one example of this. With a focus on engineering and technical sectors, their excellent connections in automotive, construction, energy and rail have resulted in clients such as Konica Minolta, Custom Coaches and Nuttelex since 1979. Not only will you get help finding work, once you’re in employment, you will receive further help from Australia Wide year after year as they unite you with your employer. www.australiawide.com.au

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Join The Online Job Search From wait staff to marketing managers and temporary promotional work, you can find and apply for jobs easily from the comfort of your own home. To help you look, here are the best websites to find a job in Australia. Industries are distinguished by headgear, or you can choose from the alphabetical dropdown menu (not all industries can be defined by hats). What makes this site so unique is its Tasks section. If you can’t find the full-time job you’re looking for, or you don’t even have a job, but want to use your skills to get some extra cash, there are nearly 500 tasks advertised on Career One with people looking for someone to clean their home, create a logo for a website, or repair a broken lock. careerone.com.au

Australian JobSearch

Seek

With a professional layout and over 130,000 jobs in Australia and overseas, you might just find your next career move on Seek. The search bar is clear and precise with keyword, location, salary and industry options, although the latter may not be necessary i.e. you’re not going to find many waiting vacancies that aren’t in the hospitality classification. You can filter the results further by choosing the type of work you’re after, or change your previous choices, on the left hand-side banner. It’s not just a potential employee that searches on Seek, for employers themselves can view your profile and see your skills. seek.com.au

Indeed

Indeed lets you manually search for what you want with just a what and where criteria. State a keyword or job title, choose your city or state and you’re given a list of matching job adverts. You can condense your search with salary, job type and title. With over 40,000 new jobs up for grabs every week, you’re sure to find something here. au.indeed.com

Career One

Boasting over 400,000 opportunities, you can search for full-time, part-time and casual work by industry, with image tabs leading you to specific roles and the number of openings in each. 24

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Trusted for being a government website, Australian JobSearch is possibly the most varied and extensive you will find. Searching by industry is the easiest option, with categories listed alphabetically, followed by city, state or region. Once you’ve chosen your preferred location, the list of jobs appears, which you can refine by location, occupation, job type, and length. The industries can be extremely broad, and job listings include guitar teacher, plant mechanic and concrete worker. In some openings, there is more than one position available, so chances of acceptance are higher. Anyone looking for regional work will also benefit from Australian JobSearch with Harvest Trail – a list of fruit and vegetable picking openings that you can apply to for your second year visa. jobsearch.gov.au

Gumtree

One of the less professional websites, Gumtree is the place to go for casual or temporary work. The initial search is vague but “jobs” is at least a category, offering a little more faith. You can then define your search on industry and location, which is necessary if you’re looking for something specific. Roles advertised include a sales assistant in a chocolate shop, a senior hairdresser and a fundraiser. So it’s not just for finding a second hand washing machine. www.gumtree.com.au

For more information on finding work in Australia log on to www.bbmlive.com/ getting-started-in-australia


WHAT IS AN EMPLOYER NOMINATION SCHEME? The Employer Nomination Scheme is a visa that enables skilled individuals to work in Australia on a permanent basis. It involves two stages; nomination by an approved Australian employer, and an application made under the nominated stream.

individuals that have never or only briefly worked in Australia, temporary residents who don’t qualify for the Temporary Residence Transition stream, and those that received a nomination from an employer before 1st July 2012. The Agreement stream is for individuals that are sponsored by an employer through a labour agreement.

The three streams to apply through are the Temporary Residence Transition stream, the Direct Entry stream, and the Agreement stream. The Temporary Residence Transition stream is relevant for 457 visa holders who have worked with the same employer for two years and are being offered a permanent position. The Direct Entry stream is available to

To apply, applicants must have received a nomination from an approved Australian employer for a chosen occupation. They must also be younger than 50 years old (unless stated otherwise) and meet certain skills, qualifications and English language requirements. Applicants can include married or de facto partners and dependent relatives including

children. Within the application form is a statement that applicants will obey Australian law and respect Australian way of life. Anyone 18 years old or more will be expected to sign this after reading the Life in Australia book. Applications for the ENS visa are to be made online in or outside of Australia. Once the applicant has been granted the visa, they and their included family members are entitled to permanent residency. This includes living, working and studying in Australia, receiving Medicare, sponsoring other relatives for permanent residency, applying for Australian citizenship and travelling to and from Australia for five years following the approval of the visa.

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How Much Will You Pay For A Home in Australia? The similarities between Australia and the UK are staggering, but when it comes to property, how do the two nations compare, and what can you expect to pay for your mortgage?

Despite the rapid increases, research from Fitch Ratings ‘Mortgage and Housing Outlook’ found that property here is still more affordable than in the UK in relation to average house price to income ratios.

Property market

How do Australian interest rates compare to the UK?

According to the most recent estimates from Australian Property Monitors, the median house price in Sydney has hit $812,000 (£449,652), more than 17 per cent growth over the year to June 2014. This was followed closely by Melbourne which grew by 10 per cent to $608,000 (£358,278) over the same period. From a whole market perspective, real estate prices are expected to continue to rise over the 2014 period, albeit at a slower expected growth rate of 4 per cent compared to around 10 per cent growth in 2013 (January figures from RP Data).

Bank of England governor Mark Carney recently told the UK press that interest rates - which have remained at 0.5% since 2009 – are edging towards a rise. When? Probably in early 2015. Meanwhile, in Australia, the Reserve Bank of Australia has officially left the cash rate on hold at 2.5% for over a year, a record low for Australia. In addition, the four major banks of Australia recently made the decision to drop the five-year fixed rate to 4.99% with some experts predicting this to drop even further as the banks continue their price war. In fact, as a non-resident, you may be able to lock in your five-year rate for even less than 4.99% with some lenders. You’ll find that the best discounts aren’t advertised - they’re all by negotiation. Eligibility for a professional discount depends on how you present your situation to the lender. As always, the key to borrowing as an expat is to apply with the right lender.

Your deposit

As a rough guide, you will need 5% of the purchase price to pay for stamp duty (tax), legal fees and incidentals. You will also need to make up the difference between the mortgage and the purchase price.

Why a mortgage broker can help

By working with a mortgage broker who specialises in home loans for temporary residents and 457 visa holders living in Australia, you can be sure you’re getting a good deal on your mortgage. Many of the mortgage brokers at Home Loan Experts are successful property investors in their own right and understand the Australian property market. Visit homeloanexperts.com.au for more info. 26

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Temp & Semi Perm Staff Wanted Nationally Hospitality / Promotions / Tele-Sales / Face to Face / Admin / Child Care / Recruitment email your cv and a brief cover letter telling us a bit about yourself to info@what-media.com

EXPRESS TAX Level 6, 155 Castlereagh St Sydney, NSW, 2000 1800 739 739 +61 (0) 2 9267 3200 www.expresstaxback.com.au

BACKPACKER TAX REFUNDS First Floor, 1A Morts Road Mortdale NSW 2223 +61 (0) 2 8065 5668 info@backpackertaxrefunds.com.au www.backpackertaxrefunds.com.au AMY ACCOUNTANTS Suite 101, Level 1, 250 Pitt Street Sydney NSW 2000 1300 179 934 +61 (0) 2 92627188 info@amyaccountants.com.au www.amyaccountants.com.au

ADVERTISE HERE CALL 0497100731 OR EMAIL MARKETING@WHAT-MEDIA.COM

TAXBACK.CO.UK Overseas worker tax refunds UK, AUS, NZ, CANADA, USA, IRE info@taxback.co.uk www.taxback.co.uK

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TRAVEL

Your Adventure Starts Here Head to one of these booking companies for a great range at great prices across the whole of Australia.

Tours To Go

Backpackers World Travel

Viator

Travel Forever

If you know what sort of tour you want to embark on, you can search for it on Tours To Go. From canoeing tours to cycling and cruises, in the Blue Mountains, Fraser Island or Margaret River, a list of different tour companies arises with prices and available dates, and the option to book immediately. If you don’t know where you want to go or do, there’s plenty of inspiration on the homepage. www.tourstogo.com.au It may be a global brand, but Viator has insiders in each of its locations to ensure premium tours with excellent companies. Browse the options of single or multi-day tours, water tours or walking tours, from the Great Ocean Road to Ayers Rock. Every tour is accompanied by hundreds of reviews, so you get the details from those that know, and prices are reasonable and realistic depending on what you choose. www.viator.com

From the coast to the Red Centre, there are tours on Backpackers World Travel that you can choose by activity, but your best bet is to search by state and area. Just pick your location and browse through the list of sailing, safari and camping tours, from one to 30 days, to see what your options are. If you’re looking further afield, they also provide packages to New Zealand, Fiji and South East Asia. www.backpackersworld.com Where do you want to go? This is the question proposed to you by Travel Forever, so tell them and receive a selection of tours and expeditions in the area featuring one-day and 21-day tours through the outback, islands, and deserts and mountains of Australia. Their favourite tours are listed on the homepage for inspiration, and you can even book car and camper hire and purchase bus tickets. www.travelforever.com.au

Mad Travel Shop

Get yourself around the best parts of Australia with Mad Travel Shop. With a tour list as long as your arm and areas to choose from, you can quickly find something to suit you. From Brisbane to Broome, scenic flights, rainforest walks and bunjy jumping, they’ve got everything covered, as well as trips in New Zealand, Thailand and Fiji. They work with G Adventures, Topdeck and Kiwi Experience to provide epic adventures, as well as backpacker hostels to provide accommodation. madtravelshop.com

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QLD Bucket List to whet their appetite, so you can indulge in a delectable meal after a long day of spending.

Cedar Creek Falls

If 74 tropical islands situated off the coast of Queensland don’t sound like an ideal retreat from the bustle of city life, then what does? Here are our recommendations for the top five things to do in the Whitsunday Islands.

Scuba Diving

Feeling adventurous? The Whitsundays are a great location to experience scuba diving for the first time, or rekindle your passion if you have been previously. The Great Barrier Reef offers iconic scuba diving and snorkelling sites with plenty of diving operators. Allow experienced snorkelling instructors to guide you through the clear turquoise waters and get up close and personal to marine life. Keep your eyes peeled for dolphins, turtles, and all manner of fish.

Take a trip to the Cedar Creek Falls and soak up divine beauty of the natural world. Situated around twenty kilometres from Proserpine, these picturesque waterfalls provide visitors an all year round natural pool to take a quick dip or a long, relaxing bathe. Relish the exotic vegetation, including wild orchids and white and red cedars, and make sure you explore the surroundings with the several bush walks available around the falls.

Spa Days

The Whitsundays are an oasis of tranquillity, and what better way to make the most of your relaxation than with a spa day? Spoil yourself with a few hours of pampering in one of the several day spa’s that the islands have to offer. Indulge in a hot stone back massage, foot reflexology or facial with a glass of bubbly waiting for you once your treatment is complete.

Whale Watching

From June to September, don’t miss out on an unforgettable experience. On their yearly migration north, Humpback and Pilot whales congregate among the islands and tourists are welcomed to sign up for whale sighting boat tours. Make sure you bring your camera along – you’ll certainly want to snap a few pics as you cruise through the calm, protected waters and try your luck at sighting the rare white Humpback.

Shopping and Dining

If you’ve experienced a taste of the Whitsundays’ wildlife and fancy a couple of hours indoors, the islands also boast excellent shopping and dining venues. For the shopaholics among us, Airlie Beach is an ideal destination for a few hours browsing and grabbing a bite to eat. Purchase hand crafted souvenirs, designer swimwear and general attire in the eclectic shops on offer, with several supermarkets and pharmacies also available. The eateries comprise locally sourced seafood and international wine and beers for you

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Hervey Bay

Explore the whale watching capital of the world... Hervey Bay is not just the ideal crossing point to Fraser Island; it’s a tourist destination in its own right. While sitting just on the water’s edge from the famous sand island, Hervey Bay is blessed with great nightlife, spectacular beaches and plenty of accommodation. Recognised as the whale-watching capital of the world, you can see humpback whales taking to the waters around Hervey Bay from July to early November each year. The reason for their visit? Humpback whales migrate from Antarctica during the winter to the warmer waters of Australia, and return during the spring. This results in great sightings of these gentle giants, from land or by boat, along the east coast of Australia. Other bucket list opportunities are available in the form of a skydive or jet ski, but you can find more calming activities such as kayaking, cycling, horse riding and golf. If you’d rather do absolutely nothing with your time, you are more than welcome to just chill out on the beach and take a dip in the blue waters of the shore whenever the heat gets too much for you. It’s hard to ignore the beach and water activities that Hervey Bay provides, but as more travellers flock here, it is also worth checking out the city itself. There are art galleries in Urangan and Torquay to peruse, The Viper Nite Club to enjoy

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the weekend, and botanical gardens to relax with a picnic blanket. For such, you need some food, so head to the numerous local markets. Koala Markets are held on the second, fourth and fifth Sunday mornings in Kruger Court, where you can find a selection of cakes and jams, as well as antiques, books and crafts, over 250 stalls. When al fresco dining doesn’t do it for you, there is an abundance of eateries serving up French, Italian, Australian and Irish cuisine in formal and casual settings. In terms of accommodation, like most of Oz, there’s a range in Hervey Bay to suit all. Happy Wanderer Village Caravan Park is its own settlement featuring a swimming pool, spa, BBQ area and even a petrol station, while Hervey Bay Caravan Park is an idyllic lakeside base just minutes from the Botanic Gardens. Travellers will appreciate the hostels available such as The Woolshed, located in the centre of Hervey Bay, and The Friendly Hostel & Guesthouse, which even provides electric bikes to aid exploration. Hervey Bay is one of the most active and inviting areas you will find in Australia, where city meets the beach and marine life comes up to say hello. Don’t miss out on everything this buzzing bay has to offer.


Discover South Australia

Hit The Beach

The urban shores of SA are all about the beaches. Drive onto Aldinga Beach and set up a badminton or cricket set, or explore the seaside village of Glenelg and swim with dolphins. Holdfast Marina is the departure for all dolphin tours, particularly idyllic at twilight, and is the base for learning to surf, snorkel and scuba dive. For a fast-paced activity, jump on a jet boat and skim the ocean.

Head For The Hills

There’s nothing more beautiful than the Adelaide Hills when spring hits. Flowers begin to bloom after winter and regional fairs celebrate with copious amounts of food. The vineyards are particularly picturesque and a relaxing escape from the heat of summer. Keen cyclists will enjoy the array of routes on offer with spectacular views, steep hills and dirt tracks in the Mount Lofty area, which are also suited to 4WD.

Take To The Skies

South Australia is not just stunning from the ground – a bird’s eye view is also pretty awesome! Take to the skies and fall 10,000ft over the Murray River, wine districts and hills, complete with views of the south coast and Adelaide city. If you don’t have the guts to jump out of a plane, you can enjoy the scenery a little more peacefully in a hot air balloon. Glide over the Barossa Valley and look out upon some of Australia’s most idyllic countryside.

Meander The Murray River

Flowing into the Southern Ocean from SA, the Murray River embarks on a journey from the Snowy Mountains and through Victoria, providing numerous activities along the way. Live on the river by booking a houseboat, hire a canoe in Renmark or Riverland, and explore the wetlands of Coorong National Park by 4WD.

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By Charlotte Mellor. Image by Jacqui Barker

South Australia is one of the less traditionally travelled areas of the country; it doesn’t have the city living of Sydney or Melbourne, the tropics of north Queensland or the buzz of the Gold Coast, but it is blessed with long summers, awardwinning wine and a wide stretch of coastline and parkland. As a result, it offers one of the most pleasant outdoor experiences and beckons you to head outside.


ACTIVITIES

Free Motion Sports As the water sport capital of the world, Australia boasts a surf, snorkel and jet ski culture that you can’t ignore, and we’ve found just the right place for you to indulge your inner adrenaline junkie! 125 miles south of Sydney is Shoalhaven Heads, a coastal city surrounded by ocean and parkland. The most southern stop for the South Coast train line, the picturesque rail route takes just two-and-a-half hours from Sydney and brings to a world of adventure. This is where you’ll find Free Motion Sports, a company that takes advantage of the landscape. Embarking from Grey’s Beach on the Shoalhaven River, the impressive Malibu Wakesetter VLX takes you out for a ride to remember, whether you opt for waterskiing, wakeboarding or wakesurfing. If you’re not familiar with some of these thrilling experiences, read on. One of the first ways to ride on water, waterskiing is still one of the best. With options of single or double skis, try to stand for as long as possible and feel the water spray as you zip along the river. Learn as a beginner and you can soon become skilled in wakeboarding. Free Motion Sports can get you standing with the help of their state-ofthe-art helmets, so you can receive tips and tricks from the professionals as you ride. Once you’re at standing level, you can progress onto jumps, 180degree spins and even flips. If you think you’ve got skills in surfing, or want to try your hand at it, you can feel the rush of an endless wave wakesurfing. With this adrenaline sport, you don’t need to rely on the right tide, swell direction, or offshore/onshore winds, as the boat creates the wave. The more friends you bring with you for the ride, the heavier the boat and the bigger the wave.

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If you prefer your feet firmly on solid ground, Free Motion Sports also organise trekking tours that will take you to undisturbed areas of Shoalhaven and surroundings. The water sports can be arranged for individuals or groups, with gift packages available at $425pp including introduction and experience. Group bookings are dependent on the time on the water, with $160 per hour for three hours, $140 per hour for five hours, and $120 per hour for eight hours, with group size recommendations included. If you like a discount, weekday group bookings come with 25% off the weekend price. Prices include equipment, coaching and tuition. With exciting water sports in the safety of Shoalhaven River, a determination to convince anyone to give it a go and the inclusion of abseiling courses in the not too distant future, Free Motion Sports are the adrenalin experts we suggest you check out soon. Visit www.freemotionsports.com.au to find out more or ring 04 0193 4236


A Wild Water Ride Awaits For an unforgettable experience combining the ocean’s marine life with adrenaline sports, take to the waters on board Okiedokie, Westcoast Jet’s mighty carriage, and the biggest, most powerful open ocean adventure jet boat of its type in Australia. Flying its passengers in speeds of around 70kmph, the powerful 12-metre, 850hp jet boat skims out of Fremantle Harbour and takes them on a fun and wet journey, leaving behind a path of foamy, white swell.

Discover what the boat can really do and put your faith in the experienced and highly trained skippers for the Ocean Encounter, 20 minutes of thrills, high speed turns and 270-degree slide outs. Heart-pumping music will set the tone and pace for this wicked ride and get you prepared for the soaking of your life as the Indian Ocean covers you in head to toe. Following a concise safety briefing, just wait for the boat to exit the speed restriction zone and let the open ocean overcome you. Between May and December, Ocean Encounter runs only on weekends and public holidays at 11.30am - 1pm; December to February sees tours every day except Christmas Day from 11am – 4pm; and February to May takes passengers out between Thursday and Sunday as well as public holidays from 11.30am – 1pm. For an alternative experience of wild Australia, jump on board Okiedokie and depart from Fishingboat Harbour Boardwalk for a Whale Watching tour. An activity you will most likely find on everyone’s bucket list, view the majestic Humpback whales as they migrate back to the south. With a high probability of calves joining the

adult Humpbacks on this epic journey, this truly is a sight to remember, so don’t forget the camera for permanent mementos. With uninterrupted views, quick travel and seating for just 20 passengers, you can be sure to get the most enjoyable whale watching tour in the area. Due to the timescale of these gentle giants in the area, the Whale Watching tour only runs from September to mid November on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays at 8am and again at 10am. With such a short window to tick this activity off of your bucket list, book your place or risk it forever. If you’ve ever wanted to experience the thrill of jet-boating through Australia’s waters or catching sight of wild humpback whales, now’s your chance. Westcoast Jet is offering discounts to lucky BBM readers with $10 off of Ocean Encounter and $20 off of Whale Watching for every paying adult. All you have to do is mention BBM while making a direct booking and you’ll pay just $40pp for Ocean Encounter and $50pp for Whale Watching! What you save can be spent on fish and chips at Cicerellos – now don’t try and tell us that’s not a good day out! Book your spot on Okiedokie with this amazing offer by emailing info@westcoastjet.com.au or give them a call on 0403 606 033.

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Times are a guide only, and all tours are weather dependent.

If you want to be part of the action, Westcoast Jet offer two trips on board Okiedokie, both of which are the epitome of Australian adventure.


GLOBAL TRAVEL

Great Train Journeys Of The World Adirondack – New York to Montreal North America

From the bright lights of New York City to the contemporary design of Montreal, jump on the Adirondack route in the morning for beautiful scenes of the Hudson Valley, the colonial history of Saratoga Springs and the lakes and mountains of Adirondack Park. Take in the view of Glens Falls and the Little Grand Canyon of The East in Port Kent, before crossing the St Lawrence River on the Victoria Jubilee Bridge into Canada. A one-way ticket from New York Penn Station to Montreal costs from $67 US ($70AUD) and can be bought from amtrak.com.

The Blue Train – Pretoria to Cape Town, South Africa

Embark on the return journey from Pretoria to Cape Town on The Blue Train for the most stunning scenery of South Africa. During this 27-hour ride across nearly 1000 miles, you will witness waterfalls, blooming flowers and wildlife before a stop in Kimberley, and explore the Victorian buildings and 19th century London lampposts of Matjiesfontei, before arriving in Cape Town beneath Table Mountain. With its luxurious suites and lounges and five-star dining, you can expect to pay at least $1,570AUD one-way, so get your ticket from www.bluetrain.co.za.

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Bernina Express – Chur, Switzerland to Tirano, Italy

If there’s anything more picturesque than the ride from Chur in Switzerland to Tirano in Italy on the Bernina Express, we are yet to find it. Crossing the majestic Alps, travelling gently through the alpine region of Albula and soaring 2,253 metres above sea level, you can feel the mountain air on your skin as you leave Switzerland and enter Italy. A second-class one-way ticket from Chur to Tirano costs CHF60 ($70AUD – double for a return and seat reservation is extra) and can be booked at www.rhb.ch. If you want to continue the journey to Lugano, you can do so on board the Bernina Express Bus from Tirano, during which you can look out at famous Lake Como.

Cuzco to Machu Picchu, Peru

A few times a day, a train runs to and from the capital city of the Inca Empire, Cuzco, to the ancient ruins of Machu Picchu. Known as The Lost City Of The Incas, it is an example of extraordinary craftsmanship at a staggering 2,350 metres above sea level. The threehour trip takes you through the rainforest-covered mountains of the Andes and the height of the clouds to below, where Machu Picchu is believed to have stood since the 15th century. A one-way ticket to Machu Picchu costs from $78AUD and is available to buy from www.perurail.com.

The Ghan – Adelaide to Darwin, Australia

This epic journey takes you on a 1,852-mile journey travelling from the rolling hills of Adelaide to the tropical city of Darwin. With stops in Alice Springs and Katherine, and views of the barren yet extraordinary landscape of the Red Centre, this incredible journey can be made complete with additional activities including a tours whilst making your way up. You can opt for the red, platinum or gold service depending on your budget, but you’ll capture the same inspiring views and the odd kangaroo whatever you pay! www.greatsouthernrail.com.au

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Ha Long Bay Vietnam The history of Vietnam is deep and painful, but when you get to witness the spots of paradise that still retain the beautiful and natural landscape, it will leave you appreciating the opportunity of seeing old Vietnam, as it’s of a quality quite like nothing else. One such location is Ha Long Bay, and whether you see it in rain or shine, on foot or by cruise, it remains a consistently inspirational destination to wander. If you’ve never heard of Ha Long Bay, it’s pretty much the picture-perfect scene of an ancient wonderland that adorns the majority of postcards you’ll purchase to send home to your mum. Not only do the pictures hold the essence of ancient Vietnam, they’ll also inject a pure shot of envy into any of your mates left back at home. The limestone cliffs, like mystical islands, spring out of the waters from the deep from 500 million years of natural formation. The sheer phenomenal sights of the bay attract thousands of sightseers every year, boosting the much-needed tourism of the area. The Vietnamese waterway is on the Gulf of Tonkin in the

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Quang Ninh Province, about a three-hour drive from Hanoi in North Vietnam. The World Heritage Site is made up of a collection of islands that are dotted with wind and waveeroded caves and nooks to explore.

on Cat Ba Island and there are three Cat Co beaches (Cat Co 2 being the prettiest) but Cat Ba also makes for a bit of a good time! A few watering holes litter the town, including Rose Bar, which has $2 cocktails and Shisha.

The legend that shrouds the two thousand islands is that great dragons from the mountains created them. The gods sent the family of dragons to protect the Vietnamese from invaders, which was the inspiration behind Ha Long Bay’s name – ‘where the dragon descends’.

The Flightless Bird and Oasis bar are also game for a cold beer and a great sea view. The amount of tours on offer keeps the Ha Long Bay area pumping, especially in the peak sunny periods between September and January.

Many flock to Cat Ba to launch off for a cruise as there are a few beautiful beaches in this area. Travellers choose to stay

However, even if you visit the area between February and April, the drizzly fog makes the scene real enigmatic. The traditional Chinese-style Junk


boats can take you for a day trip or overnight stay on the waters. After launching from Ben Bao Harbour, you can cruise along the waters and enter the bay to get the full impact of the scene. The Junks slowly approach the island, allowing you to snap more photos than your camera can cope with before entering the bay. Tours generally have a fixed itinerary that include mass amounts of Vietnamese food on deck and the option to try out some kayaking around the semi-submerged caves. The floating fishing villages live on fishing and marine aquaculture, and the Junks dock amongst the communes of which house 1,600 people. During the Vietnam War, the Americans heavily mined the waters which still present a threat to fishermen, but aren’t within Ha Long Bay. However, similar to the legend of the dragons, the bay (not dragons) did indeed help stop invaders as its position halted the Chinese Navy from repeatedly invading northern Vietnam. An overnight tour allows you to catch the sunset and sunrise, and really is a whole lot less exhausting than cramming the

trip into one day. But if you’re short on time (and cash), the day trips can be done at a reasonable price of $37AUD, and perhaps $43AUD if you want transport from Hanoi. Urban Adventures do day trips from Hanoi, which make for a long day but are action packed and include lunch. If you want to really take your time, two-night tours will cost you around $160AUD. HandSpan tours offer a two nights stay on their traditional Treasure Junk, and includes kayaking among the dramatic karst formations. Be sure to check that you can get a refund if the weather is too bad to sail. Lots of the islands in this area get their names from their formations; for example, Voi (“elephant”) Islet is named after its animal shape, as is Khi (“monkey”) Islet. Many of the islands are untouched due to their dangerous steep edges, and contain archaeological sites of ancient prehistoric humans that date back to the monolithic period. The grottos on land also have 19th century French graffiti from the first tourists to the area. Fully immerse yourself in this environment by splashing out on a Dragon Pearl Junk excursion.

They conduct longer cruises that last three days, but this means you get to see more of the archipelago and go beyond to Bai Tu Long Bay. Not many companies are allowed to this bay, so you get to avoid the crowds that converge on Ha Long and achieve the feel of the unbeaten track. These Dragon Pearl Junks are incredibly fancy too: dark lacquered floors, white linens, huge windows… and you get your own private cabin to rest in! You also get to have dinner in one of the caves amongst the numerous impressive stalactites and stalagmites, ensuring you really get all your money’s worth on the tour. A three-day excursion will set you back $288AUD, but you can’t really put a price on the memories and experience you’ll gain. Whether boarding a Junk and cruising between the islands, sampling the local Vietnamese cuisine or simply enjoying a stroll along one of the many stunning beaches, Ha Long Bay makes for a brilliant trip when in Vietnam. Whatever you do, don’t skip visiting this bay, unless you want to miss out on a journey of a lifetime.

By Sophie Saint

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Road Trip: Portugal There’s nothing quite like hitting the open road and road tripping around a hot, foreign country with a great soundtrack partnered to awesome scenery. The options for a great trip are endless in Europe, but to embark on a road trip in Portugal is the best way to independently traverse the countryside and see the rugged coastline of the Alentejo Coast. Arid, warm and dry scrubland coats the inland, dotted with plush pine trees and dusty red soils, painting it a world away from the pumping bustle of the Algarve Coast. This south-west section of Portugal is reminiscent to a western Australian landscape and it too is full of intimidating cliff tops, expansive sandy beaches and some great surf. But not only is it wildly beautiful, it is quiet with only 7% of Portugal’s population residing here and due to the minimal tourism it is ridiculously affordable. EasyJet and Ryan Air flights into the southern city of Faro are notoriously cheap allowing

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you to spend leftover cash on renting a car when you land at the small airport. Make sure that you book a car ahead of arrival and bring all documentation that is required, as it would be awful to turn up sans credit card and have your road trip plans seriously scuppered! Other top things to pack include a cable to hook your car up to your iPod for unlimited tunes, a Sat Nav or a smart phone for navigating, and a rough route planned so you don’t miss out on anything that this coast has to offer! The major highways are easily navigable and the A22 will whisk you north, away from Faro, but you might prefer to take off

down the smaller roads to see more of the sleepy medieval towns. You can deviate from the main highways via Sagres to see more of the coast and get great photo opportunities. Lemon trees and vineyards line the roads in fields as far as the eye can see, and the horizon is interrupted with rolling dusty hills and cork-oak trees against a brilliant blue-sky backdrop. Summer temperatures can hit a scorching 30degrees or more, but the cool sea breeze that whips off the Atlantic is sweet relief, or book a car with air conditioning for an even easier ride.


Praia da Arrifana is a virginal beach that stretches in a long graceful curve and is hauntingly quiet in the off-peak season. It’s a top choice for surf breaks, meaning camps/ schools have popped up in the vicinity. Arrifana Surf School offers a small selection of accommodation, but many simply pitch a tent around this beach in the summer months. Another top area to check out is Zambujeira do Mar. Soft white sands coat the beaches creating a beach bum’s dream and it is very popular with backpackers and surfers. In August, it hosts Festa do Sudoests, a large music festival that attracts

large crowds who like to party, but when the holiday season resides, it is a lovely place to chill out and tuck into delicious fresh seafood dishes of sardines and marisco (shellfish). The cliff tops make for great walks and infinite views, plus you can walk the 3km path that joins Zambujeira do Mar to Porto de Pesca. Villa Nova de Milfontes is an incredibly picturesque village of whitewashed houses and laid-back vibes. Wander the sun-bleached streets and have a gander at Portuguese menus that you’ll have to translate with a bit of common sense and help from the waiter. Cocktails are uber cheap here, although many cafés and bars have day and night prices, but you can swig a chilled Mojito confidently knowing it won’t break the bank!

If you’re keen for a bit of sightseeing, you’ll be spoilt for choice due to the region’s rich history of Roman conquerors. Fortresses and castles scatter the land, and if you can go as far as Evora, you’ll be treated to a jewel of a walled city. It also has the macabre Capela do Ossos (Chapel of Bones) that is lined with the bones of 5,000 Portuguese. Back on the coast, Aljezur has a majestic hilltop castle that gives views of the countryside. Aljezur also offers a range of places to sleep, including Amazigh Design Hostel, which is located within the Alentejo Coast National Park. If you fancy getting off of the beaten path and staying somewhere away from the crowds, check airbnb listings for unlimited options. A top choice is Orada, a Zen homestay of yoga, organic food and relaxation. The reoccurring theme of the Alentejo Coast is that it is the European place to chill-out and regroup. It provides all of the ingredients to ensure that after a few days exploring the isolated and untamed coastline by car, you can kick back on any beach and switch off. The only things to worry about here are where to rent a surfboard and where you’ll pick to have your next beer!

By Sophie Saint

This wild area of Alentejo covers almost a third of Portugal and serves up great surf and beautiful beaches. In the summer months, the surf can be quite calm but that provides great waters for beginners. A number of surf camps are available at the stunning beach of Odeceixe, nestled within towering cliffs. The river Ceixe runs through the area and is the border between Alentejo and the Algarve. For those keen to try surfing, check out Odeceixe Surf School as they take advantage of the sandbanks and small waves in the whitewash to train firsttimers. They also do classes at Amoreira Beach and Arrifana Beach.

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ACCOMMODATION

Samara Lodge South Africa Sitting peacefully in the expansive region of Karoo, Samara Private Game Reserve is South Africa’s escape to the wild, with extraordinary safari experiences before a backdrop of picturesque mountains. Get away from everyday life with endangered species such as the cheetah, and discover the ways in which conservation projects are helping the rhino escape extinction. Samara also runs various trips to give you the most out of your luxury holiday, including photography tours and a journey through the life of Nelson Mandela. When exploring becomes too much for the day, relax with a home-cooked meal in the tranquillity of the South African Eastern Cape and take a dip in the pool as the sun sets on the horizon. This heavenly getaway is family-owned and offers impeccable colonial living in three locations. Karoo Lodge treats you to comfortable luxury with complete relaxation whether residing in the Lodge, Karoo or Sibella Suites. If the tranquillity of the Karoo Mountains wasn’t enough, the two spa rooms, swimming pool and tennis court are all you need. The Manor holds up to eight guests in complete privacy, with exceptional staff to tend to your every need. Dip into the 21metre infinity 40

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pool and witness wildlife drinking from the nearby waterhole. Finally, The Mountain Retreat offers outstanding views from five double en-suite bedrooms with a fireplace, veranda and jacuzzi. This is the perfect place to wander off on a leisurely walk with a ranger or embark on a game drive. In high season (1st September – 30th April) this luxury holiday in complete wilderness starts from $230 per person per night in the Sibella Suite of Karoo Lodge, and goes up to $519.636 per person per night for a stay in The Manor. Find out more about Samara, its location and conservation efforts, by heading to www.samara.co.za and book your memorable stay for wild adventure.


Travel Essentials Book it, pack these and... you know the rest.

SMASHii Rucksack

Kensington Proximo Key Fob Bluetooth Tracker

The SMASHii rucksack cannot be cut open as Be safe in the knowledge that you will it’s made from Kevlar, always find your keys with the Proximo Key the same material Fob Bluetooth Tracker. Attaching the fob used in stab vests. to your keys, tell the free Proximo app that Potential robbers will you can’t find them, and the fob will emit a also be deterred from distress call. With a six-month battery life, taking your rucksack it can also be used to find your baggage by the retractable and dog. combination lock $39.99 available at system, which allows www.kensington.com/au you to securely attach the rucksack to any fixed object, such as a bunk bed. Available in blue, black and pink. $361.50 available from www.smashii.co.uk

NomadKey NomadKey is a portable smartphone cable that’s the size of a house key, shaped like a house key, and designed to fit onto your keychain just like – you guessed it – a house key. You can use your NomadKey to charge or sync your smartphone from any USB port, anywhere, wherever you are in the world. $30 Available from www.hellonomad.com

SteelSeries Stratus Wireless Gaming Controller

Use the Stratus Controller from SteelSeries for portable and wireless gaming with Bluetooth connectivity to iPad, iPhone and iPod. Supporting hundreds of games already released and every controller-enabled game coming to the iTunes App Store in the future, Stratus delivers superior gaming performance thanks to its pressuresensitive buttons, over 10 hours of battery life, dual analogue sticks, and multiplayer support for up to four controllers, enabling you to stay entertained whilst travelling. $170 available at www.steelseries.com

Champneys Mini Citrus Blush Body Scrub & Butter

Tend to your skin with luxury beauty brand, Champneys. The scrub, formulated with coconut shell granules and Demerara and organic brown sugar, helps to boost circulation and removes dull skin, while the body butter moisturises and pampers with almond oil, shea butter and cocoa butter, perfect for if you’ve dried out in the sun. Body scrub $14 & body butter $17 available for international delivery from www.champneys.com

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INTERVIEWS Making his Stereosonic debut this November, we chat with legendary DJ and producer, Steve Aoki. Hi Steve, how are you? I’m good. Excellent. So, I know you’ve just stepped off a plane. Where in the world are you at the moment? I’m back in Ibiza. I’m living here over the summer, I’ve got a villa and I play every Wednesday at Pacha. Where were you flying from? Majorca. I did a really crazy run this weekend. I started off at Creamfields in the UK, then went to Barcelona that night, and in the morning played at Mystery Land, then back at Creamfields, and then went to Austria for a festival and then to Holland for a festival, over four days. It was pretty hectic. Is your life generally like that? Yeah, I definitely back the shows as much as I can. I prefer to do multiple shows in one day than spread them out. It’s all organised, like tonight, I have a day off in Ibiza, but I’m spending it in the studio. So even on my days off I have work. I don’t mind as long as I get enough sleep so I’m not dragging my heels along through the day. Do you sometimes not know where you are? All the time [Laughs] Talking of constant touring, you’re part of a stellar line-up for Stereosonic, is it your first time at the festival? Yeah, it’s my first time at Stereosonic, so this will be my first time to a OneLove festival. So you’re no stranger to touring Oz? No, I love touring Australia, it’s definitely a major highlight of the year and I’ve been hearing so much about Stereosonic. I remember when it first started and now it’s such a big deal, like, a very competitive festival.

you’re at school, something you’ve been studying or planning for, so I am testing some stuff out but I’ve already tested it out. For instance, I’ll be playing brand new material and debuting that at festivals, so, in a way, we’re reclaiming the way we broadcast our music. The way I see it, it’s our version of radio. Radio might not play any of these songs, but I have the power to play it and it’s going to touch people in a certain way if they like it. At Tomorrowland, I debuted a lot of new material from my new album, ‘Neon Future 1’, and when I go down to Stereosonic, I’ll be debuting Part 2, because it’s split into two parts, and maybe the new Linkin Park song, because it will be closer to when the album comes out. You’re still in the process of making Part 2? Yeah, I mean, the music side of things is pretty much finished, it’s just making the sound and getting everyone to sign off, because you’ve got the artist, the management, the label and there’s so many fucking people! We saw that you’d been scuba diving in Ibiza, is seeing new places and doing new things a part of touring that you enjoy? I really do my best to see as much as possible. It’s difficult sometimes when you’re doing three shows in a day, but when we have time, we do try to explore and I travel with a photographer and videographer, so we try to see as much and do as much as we can. I do my best to document it and put it up on my YouTube channel or Facebook so everyone else can see what’s going on.

“Festivals are more like your final exam when you’re at school”

When you do a show, do you have a strict process or can it be quite unpredictable? I have somewhat of a guideline of what I’m gonna be playing, because when I’m thinking about my set, it’s not necessarily experimenting with tracks that I want to test out – I’ll do that at clubs. Festivals are more like your final exam when

And is there anything that you’d like to do in Australia? Maybe shark diving. I like swimming so maybe go to the Great Barrier Reef, I love Bondi Beach and staying around there, but we’ll see. Thanks, Steve!

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You told us previously that the Internet allows new artists to explode overnight without having to trudge around small clubs; was this a big part of your experience and emergence in the ‘80s? Have you returned to the same clubs? I would never change anything about my career as I think all those years of slogging it out in small and sometimes crappy clubs made me who I am today, but also makes me appreciate what I have today as well. I still play for quite a few of the same promoters from 15 - 20 years ago, although sadly not many of those original clubs are around anymore. Change is good so I always try and look to the future, not the past.

John Digweed We speak to the world renowned DJ, John Digweed ahead of his November national tour. Hi John, where in the world are you right now and how has it been treating you? Just leaving the Neopop festival in Portugal. Last night I played with Josh Wink, Laurent Garnier, Pan -Pot and Underground Resistance. It’s an amazing boutique festival with a really up for it crowd. Summer so far has been really good with a mixture of festivals, beach parties and club events. With over 30 years in the business, do you get phased at all by the accolades people like us place on you? “Greatest DJ in the world”, “Most popular DJ on the planet” etc… To be honest I never got into DJ-ing or the club scene to be patted on the back. It was a love of music and the scene that went with it. The fact that I 44

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became successful is down to all my dedication, passion and hard work that I put into it over the years. My goals are still the same now as when I started to find and play the best new music out there to people who want to listen and dance. There’s no doubt you have earned such high praise, with top 40 hits, film scores and records you have broken, not to mention the amount of gigs you play each year; so what’s your proudest moment so far? I think I am proudest of the fact that after all these years I am still playing the best clubs and festivals around the world and that I have a fantastic and loyal fan base.

As someone that gives consistently standout shows, is there a method you live by to ensure 100% success? Do you have any rituals or mantras? Not really just know your music before you get to the gig, I never practice or work mixes out beforehand as I prefer the spontaneous feel of DJ-ing where you get a vibe from the crowd and go with the flow. You return to Australia in November, bringing your enviable beats and bass lines to Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane and Perth; what memories do you hold of playing here? I first played in Oz exactly 20 years ago this year for the first time. I have always enjoyed coming to Australia and I love the parties, clubs, people, food and culture. There are too many parties to name check but let’s say I have made many great friends over the years and hopefully will continue to come back and play for many years to come.

“JUST KNOW YOUR MUSIC.”


Irish comedian, Jason Byrne, talks to BBM about bringing ‘You Name The Show’ to Australia. So, you’ve been doing ‘You Name The Show’ at the Edinburgh Fringe. How has it been going? Yeah, it’s just been great fun. It’s so dangerous because I have a wheel on the stage and a punter comes up and spins the wheel. There are different categories and I can’t pick the order so there’s loads of stunts and people get up on stage and do stuff with me. There’s even a part where I’ve got to pick a guy to rob something, they have to go outside and bring it back in. One night it landed on that same stunt three times in a row and the poor guy had to rob something three times.

Ha, brilliant! But that’s not where it ended. Another guy came up and he was a swimmer for the Commonwealth Games, so I got the diver and the other guy back up, and he was lying on his back with his legs open, and the diver dived in, and I got the

“I got the diver to dive into his balls…” swimmer to put his head in the guy’s crotch and actually swim around the stage as I dragged him around by his belt. So that’s why I’m absolutely wrecked! And I’m running the New York City Marathon in November and I hurt my knee, so I’ve been doing physio while I’ve been here as well. Like, what is going on! Well, you’re not going to get much of a rest, because you’re touring straight after, but are you looking forward to heading over to Australia this month? Yeah, it’s spring, so we’re going to have really nice weather, and I’m going to Perth and we’ll be staying on the beach, going to

Sydney and we’ll be staying in Bondi, and Darwin, which is just tropical! The flying is a little bit difficult, but it’ll be grand! Besides the shows, do you have any other plans while you’re in Oz? I’ll be on the move, and only doing one or two days in each city. But last time, I was only in Darwin for one night, so I’m hoping I have an extra night in Darwin, because I want to see the big crocodiles! And will Australian audiences get to see the wheel? Oh yeah, definitely. We’ve had Scottish stuff in it for Edinburgh, but I can stick Australian stuff in it, for sure, so that’ll be fun!

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Interviews by Charlotte Mellor

And he did it? Yeah, they do everything I say! The biggest thing he robbed was a double bass; he found it in the corridor and wheeled it in! The highlight for me was the other night. I’ve been taking the piss out of the Scottish diving team for the Commonwealth Games, because they were so pasty and ginger, and one of the guys was there, so I got him up on stage, and there was another guy who kept sitting with his legs open and he had huge balls, so I made him lie on his back with his legs open and I got the diver to dive into his balls…

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MUSIC NEWS

Best Of The British Coming To Oz... Bombay Bicycle Club

Jack Steadman, Jamie Maccoll, Suren de Saram and Ed Nash are Bombay Bicycle Club, the indie-pop band that make upbeat and feel-good tracks to dance along to your heart’s content. Their fourth studio album, ‘So Long, See You Tomorrow’, saw the four-piece shoot into the mainstream charts and into everyone’s ears, as they scored their first UK number one record. Experimenting with electronics that compliment Steadman’s hypnotic and sing-along vocals, they are currently on everyone’s wish list to see live, and they have answered your prayers in the form of an Australian tour! The best locations to see the boys are Melbourne and Brisbane, with the final date in Sydney. They kick-start the tour in Melbourne’s Forum Theatre on 25th September, head to The Tivoli in Brisbane on the 27th and finish up at Sydney’s Metro Theatre on the 28th. Get your ticket to seem them from www. livenation.com.au for just $69.90pp.

Elbow

Since forming in 1990, Elbow have released six studio albums, all of which have made the top 15 in the UK Top 40 Album Chart. Fourth album, ‘The Seldom Seen Kid’, won the Mercury Music Prize in 2008, and in 2011, the band headlined Glastonbury’s coveted Pyramid Stage. The band’s anthemic songs and incredible live sound has cemented them as one of the best live acts to see, which is why their tour of Australia this October is on everyone’s lips. Playing two dates in both Sydney and Melbourne, a visit to Brisbane and a further two shows in Auckland, the five-piece are truly spoiling us! The Sydney Opera House Concert Hall will welcome Guy, Mark, Craig, Richard and Pete on 25th and 26 October, before the Forum Theatre in Melbourne has the honour of hosting them on 28th and 29th. They will leave Oz following a visit to Brisbane’s The Tivoli on 30th, before heading to New Zealand to Auckland’s The Powerstation on 1st and 2nd November. Despite the number of dates, all shows are expected to sell out, so get your ticket now from www.livenation.com.au to avoid horrible disappointment. 46

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Alt-J

Worldwide tours, festival regulars, British Mercury Music Prize winners and an Ivor Novello Award, Alt-J are returning with their second album and we’re all waiting with bated breath. ‘This Is All Yours’ will aim to be just as successful, if not more than, ‘An Awesome Wave’, which received critical acclaim in their home country and worldwide. And despite the departure of bassist, Gwill Sainsbury, released singles ‘Hunger Of The Pine’ and ‘Left Hand Free’ promise that there is so much more to come. With the release of their highly anticipated second offering on 19th September, Joe Newman, Gus Unger-Hamilton and Thom Green are set to embark on an Australian tour, which will see them visit Sydney and Melbourne for two extraordinary live shows. At Melbourne’s Forum Theatre on 6th October and Sydney’s Enmore Theatre the following day, ticket-holders will get the chance to witness the threesome play favourite tracks such as ‘Breezeblocks’, ‘Tessellate’ ‘Something Good’, and brand new material. Joining the band will be Perth singer, Grace, a 24-year-old songstress originally catching the ear of the late Heath Ledger. Working on her upcoming album, she is guaranteed to warm up the crowds with stammering beats and soft vocals. Tickets are available to buy now from ticketmaster.com.au, and are $84.10pp for Sydney, and $85.20 for Melbourne.

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Gorgon City Announce Debut Album ‘Sirens’ They’ve rocked the UK and European festivals this summer, and dominated the radiowaves for the past few months, so we are delighted to announce that Gorgan City will be releaseing their debut album via Black Butter/Virgin EMI and Neon Records on 6th October 2014. If you’re not familiar with Gorgon City then you must have been living under a rock, but we can assure you as soon as you hear this album, you’ll know who we’re talking about. Gorgon City is comprised of Kye Gibbon and Matt Robson-Scott. The duo have become skilled navigators of the dance genre and have garnered wide popularity. With a deft history of music making behind them individually as Foamo & RackNRuin, once Kye and Matt joined forces as Gorgon City things quickly began to snowball at a barely comprehensible rate. “Because we each had a bit of reputation built up,” says Kye, “the first gigs we got as Gorgon City were pretty big festival ones, and it’s just gone on from there.” Gorgon City’s debut album ‘Sirens’ will include all their hit singles including ‘Ready For Your Love’ ‘Real’ and ‘Here For You’ alongside collaborations with Maverick Sabre, Jennifer Hudson, and Erik Hassle – presenting a brilliant collection of music.

Henry Krinkle - Stay (Justin Martin Remix)

One of our favourite producers, Justin Martin is back with a fantastic remix of Henry Krinkle’s ‘Stay’. Starting off with looping vocals, the track builds up until the beat drops into a stripped back vocal. ‘Stay’ first surfaced back in 2012, and had a serious impact on the sound of the summer that year amongst the dance community. Having had over 30 million views on YouTube, Dirtybird member Justin Martin, thought it was time to give it a facelift, infusing it with his signature twists and turns and injecting it with a sophisticated dash of bass. Henry Krinkel ‘Stay’ Justin Martin remix is out now, available via Beatport. 48

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Zebra Katz & Ten Ven & Ripley - 1 Bad Bitch

The G-house production is set for release 19th October 2014, and is no doubt going to be a club smash. Melodic synths roll throughout with Zebra Katz’ monotone voice repetitively lulling you into a dancey haze stating “eeny meeny miney mo – one bad bitch in here got to go.” Originally from a multimedia and performance background, Zebra Katz can paint bleak stories of sex and tragedy and understands how to expertly deliver the sombre vocals over a catchy beat. With his deep vocals landing somewhere between Busta Rhymes and Maxi Jazz, Zebra Katz’ hypnotic, sexually ambiguous ‘Ima Read’ caught the ears of Californian Fashion designer Rick Owens and became a catwalk anthem.

Fable - Stranger In My Head

Taken from her upcoming debut EP ‘Parasite’, Brighton-based songstress Fable releases her second single ‘Stranger In My Head’. Produced by multimillion selling trip-hop collective Archive with whom she’s also writing and recording her debut album, the track is every bit as good as first single ‘I Speak Words’ and that’s really saying something. ‘Stranger In My Head’ shows the supremely talented songstress in her element with chillingly dark vibes and brooding overtones really setting the tone for the whole track and encapsulating everything that’s really special about the 19-yearold. Lyrically, Fable really leaves much to the imagination and it’s her mysterious aura that perhaps proves most attractive on first listen.


EP REVIEW

One To Watch Lord Huron

Our stand-out EP of the month comes from London electro pop outfit, Pale. The EP, entitled ‘The Come Back EP’, starts off with a mellow offering ‘Silence’ which takes us through 80s infused chord progressions, kicks off with vocals from the very beginning. After the first verse, the muted guitar riff is plucked out before the emotional return to vocals. Next up on the EP is ‘Fearing Faces’ which immediately sounds more current and sophisticated, before snapping into an early 80s sounding bass line, with a real RnB/Haim-esque tint to the vocals. Third track ‘Rundown’ immediately catapults into a dark and lost emotion, with a much more haunting vibe than the first two tracks – immediately showing the band’s range. With a fantastic bridge slowing guitar plucks down, there is an element of hope, before the chorus comes back. The final track on the EP is ‘Too Much’ which almost feels like a conclusion to the short playlist. Murmuring vocals begin the track, on top of a stripped back accompaniment, before becoming more clear. ‘Too Much’ plods on at a comfortable pace, and feels like a resolve to the previous ‘Run Down’. The laid back vocal stylings of lead singer have a New Romantics feel to them. This band first emerged in 2012 with ‘Too Much’, but we’re sure with the emergence of this EP, a full album is sure to be around the corner, and should, if our predictions are correct, garner a lot of attention.

Above & Beyond For all your electronic music needs, London DJ trio, Above & Beyond host their own weekly two-hour show, featuring guest mixes from the likes of Dave Angel, Nick Warren and Gareth Emery. Available on iTunes

How Did This Get Made?

For something a little bit different, join Paul Scheer, Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas for hilarious film reviews of painfully bad movies you’ve been mad enough to put yourself through. Available on iTunes

Deep House Cat Show

Combining the skills and expertise of Chicago’s DJ philE and Germany’s Alex B. Groove plus guest mixes, this show features the funkiest deep house and techno you can find. Available on iTunes

Lord Huron, fronted by Ben Schneider from Michigan, are the band Mumford & Sons could have been. Their sound, although coming from the same roots, has so much more than simply being that of another indie-folk band. It is much more difficult to define. They use subtle psychedelic elements to create a guitar sound straight out of 60s/70s American folk-rock which, coupled with the slightly echoed vocal track, creates a sound with surprising depth for what is essentially folk. Their debut album ‘Lonesome Dreams’ is indication that Lord Huron seem to know what they’re doing. Standout tracks ‘Time To Run’ and ‘She Lit A Fire’ are instructions on how to make indie-folk interesting again. ‘Lonesome Dreams’ is available to buy now and is well worth a listen. Some previous EP releases, ‘Mighty’ and ‘Into The Sun’ can also be found on the Bandcamp page.

triple j Like A Version

Similar to BBC Radio 1’s Live Lounge, this segment of Australia’s finest radio station, Like A Version sees a musician, artist or band play one of their own songs and cover someone else’s. Available on iTunes

Huw Stephens

BBC Radio 1 DJ, Huw Stevens, presents an array of emerging artists and independent labels that you’ve never heard before from all the genres you can think of including folk, rock, dance, pop and R&B. Available on iTunes

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By Dan Barnes

Pale ‘The Come Back’


FUNNY NEWS

Hounded Into Office Dogs. They protect our homes, they shower us with affection, and they team up with meddling kids to travel around in a garishly-coloured camper van solving supernatural crimes.

It’s not exactly clear how he slows them down. If he’s been trained to use a speed gun surely that would be much more impressive than becoming mayor?

Yet despite all that, it’s always been clear who was master and servant in the dog-human relationship. Until now.

“He doesn’t know how to handle this publicity,” said Cormorant yokel Tricia Maloney. “He’s used to coming to the pub and getting some burgers and some fries or something. Poor Richard Sherbrook that owns the Cormorant Store, he didn’t even have half as many votes as Duke did.”

Apparently the small town of Cormorant, Minnesota has just elected a seven-year-old Great Pyrenees as its mayor in a landslide victory. Widely known by locals, “Duke” guards the community and has even been known to enforce the speed limit. The fluffy white dog didn’t even need to campaign, with his popularity easily outweighing his human competition. David Rick, who voted for the dog, said: “What he does is when the cars are coming through town, they’re hitting town at 50mph, and he slows them down. He follows me wherever I go.”

Duke was rewarded with five hours of grooming ahead of being sworn in during the town’s fourth annual Cormorant Daze. Not bad for a candidate who regularly shits on the floor and enjoys sniffing arses, although Silvio Burlosconi used to do that and he was Italy’s leader for years.

A Question Of Sanity Ever wondered what would happen if Wigan was attacked by a dragon? What contingency plans does Worthing Council have if the town is hit by an asteroid? And how often have Birmingham’s museums had to call up the local Ghostbusters? As well as being possible plot lines for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s next film, all of the above are among the weirdest requests made to government institutions under freedom of information laws.

animal (to Cambridge City Council); and, how many people in the town have a license to keep a tiger, lion, leopard, lynx or panther as a pet? (Scarborough Council).

The Local Government Association released a list of the 10 strangest questions asked of them, which included gems such as: Please list all the types of animals you have frozen since March 2012, including the type and quantity of each

Another questioner has clearly been watching too many dystopian sci-fi films after asking Southend Council: “How many children in the care of the council have been micro-chipped?” Either that or he’s a slightly unhinged IT entrepreneur trying to research a potential new business.

Our personal favourite though is: How many holes in privacy walls between cubicles have been found in public toilets and within council buildings in the last 10 years? (Rossendale Council). Sounds like George Michael is thinking of moving house.

Another disturbing inquiry was sent to Richmond Council: “How many bodies are there in mortuaries that have been unclaimed for 10 years? How long have these bodies been in the mortuary? How old were they when they died? Is it possible to have the names of these people?” If he wasn’t dead, we’d swear that last request was made by Jimmy Savile.

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Found Guilty For Stealing Heart

Athletes Baring Up After Arrest

BBM doesn’t know too much about the Muslim faith beyond the fact that it’s much safer to make jokes about Christians instead. In other words, we realise that some of the more “extreme” believers might not take BBM’s good-natured joshing in the light-hearted manner it’s intended. Plus it’s easier for us to make degrading, misogynistic jokes about women. So we were a little surprised to learn some fool thought it’d be a good idea to hold a nudist sports festival in Muslim-majority Malaysia. BBM is all up for women getting their fun bags out (see misogyny reference earlier), but even we could see it ending in disaster – if only because of how they do the pole vault.

In a crime so crazy it makes perfect sense, a woman in Texas stole a $4 bottle of wine just so she could hook-up with her boyfriend in jail. Inmate-loving Alicia Walicke stole the wine from a gas station and, in an unusual move, decided not to flee the scene. Instead, she drank the bottle outside the store’s front door. Unsurprisingly, it proved to be an open and shut case for police and Walicke was all too happy to be taken into custody after explaining that her boyfriend was arrested earlier that evening and it was her fault, so she wanted to make things right and go to jail. Her wish was duly granted. She spent the night in prison on charges of misdemeanour and theft. And they say romance is dead.

A video of the May gathering, called the “Nude Sport Games 2014”, first appeared on social media in August. It showed naked participants engaged in a range of activities including body painting, dancing, relay races and various other contests on a secluded Penang beach. Co-organiser Albert Yam, who was arrested with seven others, has publicly apologised for the “naturist event” saying he was deeply sorry and that people shouldn’t judge him as it was very cold that day.

Bad Medicine

BBM’s mum used to have a saying about medicine. “Prevention is better than cure,” she’d say. Our dad used to have a saying, too: “Some people are fucking idiots.” Unfortunately for a bunch of teenagers in Liberia, they were both right – after the dumbass youngsters broke into an ebola isolation ward to steal medicine, mattresses and bedding. While they were at it, they almost certainly picked up the deadly disease, too. Not only that, but they were heard shouting “there is no ebola” as they went on their crime spree – which is kind of like yelling “there’s no such thing as semi-automatic weapons!” while trying to steal a tip jar from a bar in Alabama. Seventeen ebola patients, who were in the ward at the time, fled the scene and have not been located since. Cemeteries might be a good place to start looking.

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SPORTS NEWS GRAN IN SIXTY SECONDS

Writing On The Wall For Puma

It’s a commonly known fact that advertising departments are a bunch of clowns who make a living by leaching off genuinely talented people. Just ask anyone in BBM’s editorial department. But even BBM’s slave-driving, dollar-eyed paymasters look like marketing geniuses compared to the people at Puma, after a recent campaign featured Usain Bolt declaring “I’m erect”, Radamel Falcao signing a photo with the phrase “Liverpool are wank”, and the unfortunate Marco Reus saying he “couldn’t do it” without cocaine. All supporters had to do was tweet Puma with “#foreverfaster” and they’d receive a “signed” photograph from the star of their choice with their very own message of support from their idol. Alas, it didn’t take long for pranksters to work out that a simple tweak of a user name here or there and suddenly you could get Cesc Fabregas to say “I spread Ebola, appreciate your support … Cesc” in signed-photograph form. Frankly those are some of the tamer ones. It’s possibly the most unfortunate ad campaign since those “cursed” Gillette ones featuring Tiger Woods, Thierry Henry and Roger Federer. About six months later, Woods was being chased down a street by his golf club-wielding wife, Henry had pissed off the whole of Ireland and Federer had run into a Nadal-shaped wall. Yet despite all that they were still less cringe-worthy than those hair-restoral ads featuring Shane Warne.

A 99-year-old great grandmother has earned a place in the record books by running the 100m in 59.8 seconds. Usain Bolt must be shitting himself. New Yorker Ida Keeling is the first woman in her age group to crack one minute – known in football circles as “the Lampard barrier” – and came in 48 seconds behind the winning runner at the Gay Games event at the University of Akron. We’re not sure which is more impressive – her speed, or the fact that she’s over 90 and supportive of the gay lifestyle (although it’s possible she thinks it’s just the “Happy” Games). “I feel like a puppy,” beamed Ida after the race. “I feel younger now than when I was in my 30s and 40s … Every year I am going to keep doing what I am doing, and when running time comes, if I feel I am ready, I will go at it.” Keeling took up running when she was 67, in part as refuge from the sadness of losing her two sons in separate drug-related killings. She started the sport at the urging of her daughter, Shelley Keeling, who is now her coach. The pace-setting pensioner turns 100 in May and hopes to break more records. Her secret to staying young and swift? “Do what you need to do, not what you want to do and don’t leave out your daily exercise,” she said. “Love yourself.” Considering how often BBM “loves ourselves” in the bathroom every morning, we should look like an eight-yearold. “I’m running from old age and arthritis,” Keeling said while filling her cholostomy bag. “Believe me!” The previous fastest run from an old woman came in 2008 when Wayne Rooney was trying out chat-up lines at the Manchester Women’s Institute.

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Lawyer Wants Ref Justice

Remember when England were just good enough for fans to be able to blame referees, or even one player, for defeats at major tournaments?

Whether it was David Beckham limply flicking his leg at Diego Simeone in 1998, or the referee failing to spot the most blatant handball of all time in 1986, there was always a general feeling of “we wuz robbed” by just one moment of madness. Sadly, we no longer have that luxury as the whole team is so shit that the highlight of the last World Cup was when everyone thought Raheem Sterling had scored early against Italy - only to discover he’d hit the side-netting. It was downhill fast after that. But while England’s standards have plummeted, it seems Colombia’s recent resurgence has lifted them to the “we would have won if” level - with the news that one South American lawyer is so convinced his team were unfairly treated at the World Cup that he’s suing FIFA for $800million

because of the stress it caused him. Aurelio Jimenez, a leading legal expert, says he was taken to hospital with cardiac problems after Brazil’s controversial win over Colombia in July. He says he was left “distressed” because referee Carlos Velasco Carballo failed to give Colombia enough of the decisions, and he wants cash as compensation. The 74-year-old told the BBC he has “serious evidence of wrongdoings” and is already working on gathering witnesses. “FIFA’s referees caused big moral damages and distress,” Jimenez whined. “There were many wrongdoings related to referees who damaged many countries, among them the Colombia team. “I was heartbroken, my cardiac rhythm was altered and my relatives were crying after taking me to the emergency room.” FIFA has declined to comment.

Tiger’s “Back” In Trouble

Whether it’s the world-class scowling of Colin Montogomerie, the relentless fist-pumpery after every putt, or the childish giggle we emit whenever we hear the phrase “get in the hole”, there’s just something magical about the Ryder Cup. What other word could describe a competition that sees Daily Mail readers supporting Europe? The competition, named after British commentary legend Steve Rider*, kicks off in Scotland (why is everything in Scotland this year?) at the end of the month and Europe has already been dealt a blow with the news that perennial Yank bottler Tiger Woods has ruled himself out of the competition. It seems years of banging hookers and porn stars has finally taken its toll on poor old Tiger, whose back is buggered to jiggery.

The shagabout former world No.1 isn’t the only big-name to drop out for the Yanks. Even before Tiger’s withdrawal, USA captain Tom Watson admitted his team was “dropping like flies” after Matt Kuchar, Jason Dufner and Dustin Johnson all dropped out for various reasons. “It is a bit scary,” said Watson. “It doesn’t bode well for us so far, but there are a lot of good players still and guys are still jockeying for position.” Translation: “No one wants to go to Scotland in the middle of autumn. It’s frigging freezing.” *source unverified

Wandering-eye Woods had surgery on March 31 and has admitted he will not be fit to play at Gleneagles.

By Richard Gadsby

“I’m extremely disappointed that I won’t be ready for the competition,” lied Tiger, who has never even looked remotely interested in the tournament whenever he’s played in it. “The U.S. Team and the Ryder Cup mean too much to me not to be able to give it my best. I’ll be cheering for the U.S. Team. I think we have an outstanding squad going into the matches.”

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CRYSTAL BALLS on global warming while also creating new industries and economies for governments across the world at no cost. Six months later, your policies have been universally accepted and the world has been saved from the ravages of climate change.

CAPRICORN

TAURUS

You’re apprehended by police after castrating the band Five Seconds of Summer. However, not only do they let you off with a wink and a pat on the back, they also let you keep the necklace you made from the band’s testicles.

After a month saying things like “the warning signs were there when he left Take That” and “Gary Barlow has blood on his hands”, a friend explains to you that it was actually “Robin” Williams who committed suicide.

PISCES

Are you sick of your friends calling you a gullible idiot just because you read horoscopes? Well prove them wrong by taking Crystal Balls’ “Gullibility Begone!” course. It’s usually $1000 for this instensive 22-minute workshop, but the first 50 to apply will get a 90 percent discount. That’s right, for just $100 your gullibility will officially be a thing of the past – and you’ll have a certificate to prove it. Post your cheques to BBM Towers right now before the offer ends.

After a few schooners with your mates down the pub, setting the world to rights and arguing over whether you’d do Dannii Minogue, you get into a drunken debate about politics. The next hour or so is a bit blurry but when you wake up the next morning, you find a beer coaster under your pillow with a solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict scrawled on the back in biro. You send it to United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon and, six months later, the conflict is over and you win the Nobel peace prize.

AQUARIUS

You find a used pregnancy test kit in your girlfriend’s handbag. Worryingly, it’s positive. Even more worryingly, you’ve not had sex with her yet.

LIBRA

After a few schooners with your mates at the football, setting the world to rights and arguing over whether you’d do Kylie Minogue, you get into a drunken debate about climate change. The next few hours are a bit blurry but when you wake up the next morning, you find a draft message on your phone that explains a simple way to reverse the human impact 54

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ARIES

SAGITTARIUS

After a few schooners with your mates down the beach, setting the world to rights and arguing over which Minogue sister would be better in the sack, and which one you’d do first, you get into a drunken debate about philosophy. The next hour or so is a bit blurry but when you wake up the next morning, you find a torn piece of toilet paper with writing on it that gracefully explains the meaning of life, our place in the universe and what happens when we die. A local publisher agrees to print your words and, six months later, the whole world has discarded religion in order to embrace the peace and social

harmony proposed by your new philosophy, thrusting mankind into a golden age of cultural and scientific advancement that lasts until the end of time.

LEO

You’re sat at home watching yet another repeat of Channel 10 drama Offspring when a smoke grenade crashes through your window. You’ve barely time to cover your mouth and nose when several heavily armed riot police break down your door, rugby tackle you, then handcuff you while kneeling on your back. It seems you forgot to return a library book a couple of months ago. It’s Christmas Island for you (for anyone who hasn’t been in Australia long, Christmas Island is very misleadingly named).

SCORPIO

Some advice. Help ease the grieving process for your distraught family by purchasing life insurance before September 25th.

CANCER

I’m sorry, but due to a High Court super injunction I can’t tell you what happens between you and a high-profile, secretly bisexual, former Premier League footballer this week. Let’s just say you’ll never walk alone again, and you won’t be able to sit down for a week.

GEMINI

You start excreting a thick yellowy substance from your nether regions, and take a trip to the clinic only to discover your one night stand works there.

VIRGO

All right smart arse, you’ve been telling everyone that horoscopes are a load of crap. If that’s true, how come I know it’s your birthday soon. Check mate. Eat that Derren Brown!


ASK CRYSTAL Dear Crystal, I’m in serious trouble and can’t think of anyone else to turn to. The other night I was woken by a noise coming from the bathroom. Temporarily forgetting that I live with my girlfriend, with whom I have a volatile relationship, I did what any other rational human being would do in the situation – I grabbed a revolver and started firing indiscriminately at the bathroom door on the off-chance there was a burglar in there. Horror of horrors, it turned out it was actually my girlfriend making the noises and my gun blasts had proved fatal. Worse still, when I explained the situation to the police, they didn’t believe me! Now I’m facing murder charges, yet I’m guilty of nothing more than trying to protect my toilet through the use of lethal force. Please help. Yours Joshua

Dear Joshua Hmm, that is a tricky situation. My advice is to hack your own legs off and hope the jury feels so sad at the sight of you hopping around on your stumps and crying about the love of your life that they’ll let you off. Much like your explanation, it probably sounds utterly fabricated and ridiculous, but it’s got to be worth a shot right? Dear Crystal, I’ve been writing a Christmas song about a magical snowman who takes a young boy on an amazing journey after springing to life on Christmas Eve. The snowman loves masturbating with his carrot cock, and his festive jizz brings forth Christmas cheer wherever it lands. The thing is, I can’t get any interest from the record companies, but I know you’ve got a lot of contacts in the industry from the time you

famously gave syphilis to the Rolling Stones and all their backstage crew. Do you think you can help? Yours Jonny Dear Jonny, Ha, those were wild times with Mick, Keith and the rest of the boys. I can remember it like it was yesterday, but it was actually in 2012. I don’t think Keith ever did get himself cleaned up down there. Anyway, I’d love to help Jonny but I made a solemn vow never to get involved in the music biz again since I became “the other woman” in the Justin BieberSelena Gomez relationship saga – especially as I was “the other woman” in the Harry Styles-Taylor Swift saga too. Anyway, all this talk of young love cut short is making me depressed. I might see if Keith fancies a quick shag to cheer me up.

JOKES How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house? The big hand touches the little hand. Jayne, Perth What does a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it but can never eat it. Peter, Cairns Q: How do you circumcise a redneck? A: Kick his sister in the chin. Wayne, Melbourne I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.” Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world. Emily, Northbridge

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: It’s not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy. Claire, Surfers Paradise Q: Why did Amy Winehouse snort artificial sweetener? A: She thought it was diet coke. Ron, Newcastle Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and England striker Wayne Rooney? A: Clinton can score. Glen, Melbourne

room and stopping him. Daffyd, Perth Why is that when Sir Cliff Richard sings about wanting to have an intimate relationship with a “Living Doll” everyone finds it charming and endearing, yet when I get caught trying to fuck a mannequin I get asked to leave Debenhams before the police are called? As usual it’s one rule for the rich and famous… Fred, Lewes

I would tell a cripple joke, but I just can’t stand them. Mike, Adelaide My parents always used to sit and listen to Cliff Richard when I was younger. Instead of actually coming in my

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ADVERTISE HERE

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ADULT FUN

Paint The Town El Circo

Located on Oxford Street - Darlinghurst, El Circo boasts a plethora of cabaret performances including circus entertainment. From 7pm, indulge in a world of artistic performances. Venture down to El Circo this Friday or Saturday evening and witness professional acrobats, aerial artists and clowns perform world famous tricks. Customers are sure to adore the innovative list of cocktails on offer. For those with a sweet tooth a ‘Slider’ is recommended, you’ll love the fruity concoction created for you by the world class mixologists. 41 Oxford Street, Darlinghurst slide.com.au

On the lookout for a fun-filled night of entertainment? Why not venture down to your nearest cabaret club for captivating performances and a few cocktails with a group of friends? Here are our recommendations for the best cabaret clubs in Sydney, Melbourne and Perth.

Bohemia

Be transported to a world of cabaret and burlesque this weekend at the Bohemia Cabaret Club in Melbourne. Dine in extravagant vintage interior before delighting in a comedy night, erotic theatre, cabaret or circus performance. With an extensive list of cocktails, wines and beers, guests will not be short of beverages to sip during the performances. The perfect destination for Hen nights, birthdays, farewell parties, anniversaries and general celebrations, you’re sure to have an exhilarating night at Bohemia. 226-228 Coventry Street, South Melbourne bohemiacabaretclub.com

Cabaret Sasquatch

Life Is A Cabaret

For just $30, or $60 with the show and a three course meal, head down to Rigby’s Bar for an unforgettable series of cabaret performances. A production set just before world war two, and based on the people of Germany and America, you’ll love learning about the history and culture of the decade through a vibrant, fun-filled performance. Friday, 14 November 2014 7:00pm to 9:30pm. Rigby’s Bar, Forrest Centre 221 St George Terrace, Perth www.rigbysbar.com.au 58

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By Naomi Finniss. Image courtesy of El Circo.

With young artists showcasing contemporary burlesque, circus and magic acts satirizing political idiocies and pop iconography, Cabaret Sasquatch during Sydney Fringe Festival makes for a sensational evening. You’ll love the infectious tunes from the 8-piece band and vibrant, welcoming atmosphere; with general admission starting from $16.80, and meal and show package from $52.20, Cabaret Sasquatch will take place on 21st September, so grab your ticket now! The Vanguard, 42 King Street, Newtown thevanguard.com.au


THINGS TO DO SKYDIVING

IFLY DOWNUNDER 123 Mulgoa Road, Penrith, Sydney Ph: 1300 366 364 www.iflydownunder.com.au SYDNEY SKYDIVERS 745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au

SCUBA DIVING

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive. com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

GHOST TOURS LANTERN GHOST TOURS Melbourne & Goldcoast Ph: 1300 390 119 www.lanternghosttours.com enquiry@lanternghosttours.com Experience the multi award winning Lantern Ghost Tours, offering small group tours of Australia’s most haunted locations.

ADVENTURE TOURS

GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.facebook.com/goinsouthtours A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878

Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

Heads, NSW 2535 Ph: +61 401934236 info@freemotionsports.com.au www.freemotionsports.com.au

BLUE MOUNTAINS ADVENTURE COMPANY Ph: 02 4782 1271 bmac@bmac.com.au www.bmac.com.au

WESTCOAST JET The Boardwalk, Mews Road Fishingboat Harbour Fremantle Ph: 0403 606 033 info@westcoastjet.com.au www.westcoastjet.com.au

WAYOUTBACK AUSTRALIAN SAFARI Ph: 1300 551 510 / 08 8952 4324 reservations@wayoutback.com.au www.wayoutback.com.au BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com BUNYIP TOURS 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater. com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au AUSSIE WANDERERS Ph: 09 438 2070 www.aussiewanderer.com.au

ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

KITE SURFING

BOWLING

KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

STRIKE BOWLING Nationwide Ph:1300 787453 www.strikebowling.com.au PADDO BOWLS 2 Quarry Street Paddington NSW, 2021 Ph: 02936 1150

SURF SCHOOLS

MOJO SURF 2/9 Marvell St, Byron Bay, 2481, NSW Ph: 1800 113 044 reservations@mojosurf.com www.mojosurf.com

TRANSPORT

MIGHTY CAMPERS Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au GREAT SOUTHERN RAIL Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au

GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURF TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au

KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS Vivonne Bay, Kingscote, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 www.kiadventuretours.com.au

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

DROP BEAR ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 061 156 www.dropbearadventures.com.au FREE MOTION SPORTS 6 Davenport Road, Shoalhaven

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

GETABOUT OZ 191 William Street in the Cross, Sydney Ph: 1300 613 833 www.getaboutoz.com

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ACCOMMODATION NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY

SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

WEST END BACKPACKERS 12 Pitt St Sydney NSW, 2000 Ph: 02 9211 4588 Free Phone: 1800 013 186 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.nomadsworld.com/westend BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au BIG HOSTEL Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms. 212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com

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O’MALLEY’S HOTEL 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au THE ROYAL HOTEL 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au KANGA HOUSE BACKPACKERS 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES

SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year. Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES

CRONULLA BEACH YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au HUNTER VALLEY Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

KATOOMBA

KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW

Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au BLUE MOUNTAINS BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 144 Bathhurst Road, Katoomba, NSW 2780 Ph: 02 4782 9630 www.bluemountainsbackpackerhostel.com.au

BYRON BAY

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

LAKE TABOURIE

LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

QUEENSLAND BRISBANE

BASE BRISBANE UPTOWN 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 24 2273 uptown@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad THE DECK 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind. Minimum 2 week stay BASE BRISBANE CENTRAL 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 brisbane@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com


BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au BRISBANE CITY YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

GOLDCOAST

TREKKERS BACKPACKERS 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au SURFERS PARADISE YHA AT MAIN BEACH Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com SURF N SUN Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RSRT Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800

spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

NOOSA

NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

HERVEY BAY

NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770

(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

CAIRNS CAIRNS SHARE HOUSE 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com DREAMTIME TRAVELLERS REST

4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.) Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

MISSION BEACH ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

WHITSUNDAYS BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH AIRLIE BEACH YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

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CAPE TRIBULATION

PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com

RAINBOW BEACH

PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse. com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse. com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH

WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus. com.au www.westernbeach.com

COTTESLOE

OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@ oceanbeachbackpackers. com www. oceanbeachbackpackers. com

PERTH

RAINBOW LODGE 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417

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927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge. com.au YMCA ACCOMMODATION Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse. com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www. undergroundbackpackers. com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@ hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers. com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au

MONKEY MIA

MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts. com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

KUNUNURRA

KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www. kununurrabackpackers. com.au info@ kununurrabackpackers. com.au

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BROOME

BEACHES OF BROOME 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@ beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome. com.au

VICTORIA MILDURA

REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

GREAT OCEAN ROAD

JOHANNA BEACH COTTAGES 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach. com www.johannabeach.com

HALLS GAP

BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect. com.au www.brambuk.com.au/ backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

MELBOURNE

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300

Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@ hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery. com.au UNITED BACKPACKERS 250 Flinders Street, Melbourne Ph: 03 9654 2616 unitedbackpackers.com.au INDEPENDENT & BUDGET TRAVELER ACCOMMODATION PROVIDER Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au

ST. KILDA

JACKSON APARTMENTS 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments. com.au Jackson.apartments@ bigpond.com HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

HALLS GAP

GRAMPIANS YHA ECOHOSTEL Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

NORTHERN TERRITORY DARWIN

ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

ALICE SPRINGS

ANNIE’S PLACE 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au HAVEN BACKPACKER RESORT 3 Larapinta Drive, Alice Springs Ph: 1800 79 4663 / 08 8952 4663 www.alicehaven.com.au

SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE

ADELAIDE TRAVELLERS INN BACKPACKERS 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@ adelaidebackpackers. com.au www.adelaidebackpackers. com.au MAJESTIC MINIMA HOTEL 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels. com.au www.majestichotels. com.au



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