BC Parent Back to School Issue

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back to school issue 2014 www.bcparent.ca

The Sandwich Generation

Taking your Allergies to School

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inside ...

4 Phases Surviving difficult phases

6 New Fertility Test Offers hope for women over 40

8 The Sandwich Generation Raising kids, caring for parents

12 Taking your allergies to school 14 Baby I'm Tired Helping your baby sleep all night

16 This Mum Got Fit Competing for a healthier life

18 Fall Activity Guide

BC Parent Newsmagazine

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Publisher/Executive Editor: Forrest Phillips

Contributors: Carole J. Alexander, Mairi Campbell, Tiffany Doerr Guerzon, Sandi Haustein, Malia Jacobson.

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Back to School Issue 2014 Volume 23, Number 6

bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014 3

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I

remember when our four-year-old daughter Lucy went through a phase.

As all parents know, the term “phase” has varied meanings.

Your teen could be in a horse phase, papering the walls of her room with posters of horses and begging for riding lessons. Your son could be in a Star Wars phase, reciting lines from the movies at the dinner table while turning everything from carrots to drumsticks into light sabers. As annoying as those phases can be, the one in which Lucy, my middle child, became entrenched was a “difficult” phase. She was oppositional and whiney, emotional and prone to meltdowns. Our previously easygoing, sunny child acted unhappy and out of sorts— all the time. She also misbehaved—often. After much thought and discussion, my husband and I decided that the only explanation was that she was having trouble adjusting to the newest addition to the family—our one-yearold son.

I remember how pleased we felt when Lucy breezed through the transition of becoming the middle child.

Unlike our oldest, who was immediately and thoroughly unhappy about being usurped when we brought home baby number two, Lucy cooed and fawned over her little brother. Having braced ourselves for the same negative reaction from our second as we’d experienced with our first child, my husband and I heaved a collective sigh of relief. We thought we were home free. And we were— for the first year.

But soon after our baby’s first birthday, Lucy began acting up. At one, our son was no longer a cuddly newborn, but an active toddler who required more of his parents’ attention. Even worse, he became mobile enough to get into her stuff. She was not

Phases

By Tiffany Doerr Guerzon

impressed with his new skills. She reacted by crying when she saw us holding him, and talked of wanting to be a baby again.

She even climbed into his crib and said she wanted to sleep there. She didn’t threaten to run away, but did inform us that she wanted to trade us in for a whole new family.

We tried to get her to talk about her feelings. We gave Lucy extra attention and reassurance that we loved her as much as her little brother. We checked out children’s books from the library on having a new baby in the house and read them together. I even talked to our pediatrician and had her checked over to make sure there wasn’t anything physically wrong. And of course, we

4 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

gave Lucy consequences for bad behavior.

After several weeks of trying everything in our parent playbook without success, we gave up. Not on her of course—we just realized she would have to work her own way through. In other words, we quit killing ourselves trying to fix it. We also decided that we might be enabling her negative behavior by paying attention to it. So, while disciplining her when she really acted up, we started letting the little stuff go. We slogged through our days in what became the new normal, and tried to develop thick skins to her antics. It wasn’t much fun, but we were surviving.

Then we went on vacation.

Let me assure you that taking her out of her home environment, changing her schedule, and adding the stress of travel didn’t do anything to sweeten her disposition. The relatives whom we were visiting, instead of trying to help, made pointed remarks about what they assumed was a lack of parenting skills on our part.

They didn’t realize that we had, by necessity, started choosing our battles. It wasn’t much of a vacation.

After several tiring months, Lucy’s behavior started to improve. Like sun breaks on a cloudy day, we began to catch glimpses of her previous personality. She eventually returned to her former, happy self.

Today, that four-year-old is ten-and-ahalf, my baby is six, and my oldest is a teen.

Over the years all three of my kids have gone through difficult phases, though none as bad as that one. On rough days I think back on those months and remind myself that it did get better. And that as much as I want to ease my children’s passage through childhood, I can’t fix everything. Sometimes as a parent, the best thing you can do for your child is to step back and let them work through difficult phases on their own.

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New Fertility Test Offers Hope for Women Over 40

By Mairi Campbell

Comprehensive Chromosomal Screening (CCS) is revolutionizing fertility treatment for older women and women suffering from repeated miscarriage.

aren was almost 40 when she and her husband decided to try for a sister or brother for their five-year-old daughter Emily.

Karen began to get concerned when, after a few months, nothing happened. She finally convinced her family physician to refer her to a fertility specialist.

Over the course of the next two years, Karen had two miscarriages and one failed IVF (in vitro fertilization). IVF is a procedure in which egg and sperm are combined outside the body to form embryos. The resulting embryos are transferred back into the woman’s uterus or womb.

Until now the chances of a woman at Karen’s age getting pregnant with IVF were less than 15% per cycle. However, a new test called Comprehensive Chromosomal Screening (CCS) is revolutionizing fertility treatment for older women and women suffering from repeated miscarriage. This ground breaking test involves screening the embryos for any chromosomal abnormalities and then choosing the healthiest embryo(s) to put back into the mother’s uterus. For 40 plus women like Karen this can increase the chance of a pregnancy with IVF to 75%.

“This is the test that we have been looking for.” says Dr Gary Nakhuda, a fertility specialist at Olive Fertility Centre. “We are very excited about the results we are seeing with older or high risk moms. In most cases the reason for IVF failure is because of chromosome abnormalities in the embryo. Many embryos have too few or too many chromosomes, a condition known as aneuploidy. An aneuploid embryo will either never implant in the uterus, or result

K

6 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

in a miscarriage or a baby with conditions such as Down’s syndrome.”

Research shows that about 80% of chromosomal problems arise from the egg, 10% from the sperm, and 10% from post-fertilization errors.

Until very recently fertility specialists have only been able to evaluate or “grade” an embryo based on appearance. But this method of grading can only identify a normal embryo about 50% of the time since an embryo’s appearance does not indicate whether it has a normal number of chromosomes.

With CCS, doctors can now determine if an embryo that appears healthy is in fact chromosomally normal.

This can result in • Pregnancy rates as high as 75%, regardless of maternal age • Miscarriage rate is as low as 5%.

• Almost eliminating the risk of chromosomal problems such as Down’s syndrome (diagnostic accuracy of CCS is about 99%) What does CCS involve?

With CCS, an egg is fertilized in the laboratory and the embryo is grown for 5 days at which point 5-10 cells are taken from the part of the embryo that will form the placenta (thus leaving the cells that are destined to become the fetus untouched). The embryo is then frozen and the biopsied cells are sent to a specialized laboratory for testing. The results usually return in less than 5 days identifying which embryos are chromosomally normal. This healthy embryo can be transferred in the next menstrual cycle.

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Concerns about damage to the embryos from the process are common, but the results are reassuring. Over 95% of embryos survive the biopsy procedure. In addition, evidence is mounting that pregnancy rates of vitrified (frozen) five day old embryos are actually higher than of those transferred “fresh”. Of course, it’s critically important that laboratory is staffed with highly trained and experienced embryologists.

Is there a downside to CCS?

The biggest potential disappointment with CCS is there is a chance that none of the embryos will be normal. The risk for abnormal embryos increases with a woman’s age. For example, for women under 35, the chance of a healthy embryo is about 65%.

For women over 42, however, that plummets to about 15%.

CCS adds about $4000 onto the price of an IVF cycle.

Many women and couples feel that, despite the added upfront costs, CCS may actually improve the cost effectiveness of IVF by reducing the number of failed transfers, miscarriages, and procedures related to unhealthy pregnancies. Also, instead of freezing all embryos that appear healthy, only those that are chromosomally normal will remain cryopreserved.

In time, the cost of the technology is expected to decline to make the process more accessible.

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The Sandwich Generation Raising kids, caring for parents rom the weary trenches of early parenthood, it’s easy to view the decades ahead with rosy-colored glasses.

Someday, the kids will be more independent and life won’t be filled with lessons, soccer games, and school tuition bills. Things will get easier, right?

Instead, parents often find the future brings a heavier workload, not a lighter one, as they join millions of others in the “sandwich generation,” caring for an aging parent (or two) while raising their own brood. This increasingly common scenario can be burdensome, or a blessing in disguise, says Carol L. Russell, Ed.D., author of Sandwiched! Tales, Tips, and Tools to Balance Life in the Sandwich Generation.

Often, it’s both burden and blessing, and whether “sandwiched” parents thrive or burn out is a matter of how well they learn to balance an unwieldy bundle of responsibilities.

But it is possible to manage the needs of multiple generations without drowning in

F

the neediness, notes Russell. And caregiving and active parenting can happily co-exist, and even complement one another.

A swelling sandwich

According to the New York Academy of Medicine, some 42 million women between 35 and 54 make up the “sandwich generation,” tending to growing children and aging parents simultaneously, often during their peak career years (the AARP reports that three-fourths of family caretakers hold down jobs). According to the AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, nearly two out of three adults caring for an older family member or friend are female.

“I’m juggling,” says Norma Rosenthal, who co-created the website Girlfriends with Aging Parents with Toby Donner as a guide and sounding board for women in the sandwich generation. “That’s the only word for it. I work full time, and I can’t keep those balls in the air fast enough.”

8 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

By Malia Jacobson Thanks to a trend toward delayed parenthood (pregnancy rates for women aged 40-44 have been on the rise since 1991), more women find themselves caring for elderly parents while their own children are still firmly in the nest. And these caregivers are becoming increasingly squeezed: according to Georgetown University, the number of people over the age of 65 is expected to increase by 2.3 percent annually, while the number of eligible family caregivers will only increase by 0.8 percent.

Slipping into sandwich mode

Becoming a caregiver to an aging parent usually doesn’t happen overnight. Shuttling a parent to doctor’s appointments and errands gradually morphs into arranging for in-home care, poring over finances, and coordinating triage with other family members.

For Russell, a mom of three daughters, caring for her parents started with long-distance care. After two years of arranging round-the-

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RESOURCES AARP www.aarp.org

clock help and supervision from hours away, she and her husband opted to move her parents to a newly-built home on their property.

Whether caregivers tend to aged parents in their own home, from thousands of miles away, or in a nursing home, the adjustment to being “on call” 24/7 can be a rough one, says Russell. As she quickly learned, finding outside support can be an essential aspect of family caregiving.

Caregivers are susceptible to burnout, says family therapist Jill Gross, Psy.D. “You have to secure your own oxygen mask before you can help someone else.” That means the caregivers must co-prioritize their own health along with that of their parents, says Gross. Caregiver support groups are also available, she says. Websites such as caregiver.com list these groups by area.

National Alliance for Caregiving

Agingkingcounty.org Today’s Caregiver caregiver.com National Resource Center on LGBT Aging

www.lgbtagingcenter.org ABC News: The Conversation

abcnews.go.com/Health/Conversation Girlfriends with aging parents

www.girlfriendswithagingparents.com

Family ties

Outside help is a lifeline for caregivers, but finding that support—even from other family members—can be a stressor in its own right. Caring for an aging parent can strain even the closest sibling bonds, says Toby Donner. Caretaking often puts one grown

sibling in the driver’s seat, with others providing backup support. These vastly different roles spark communication blunders, and resentment can pile up on both sides.

Each grown sibling will approach the issue with a fundamentally different perspective, notes Gross. “The primary caregivers, the people on the front lines who are actually caring for the parent, are seeing and experiencing the world in a different way than the other siblings.”

But finding common ground is possible.

Experts agree that effective family meetings can be the cornerstone of positive sibling relationships during the sandwich years.

Gross recommends that siblings schedule a meeting face-to-face or via Skype, free of distractions.

Agree on a start and stop time to the meeting in advance. “It’s better to have a number of short 20-to-30 minute conversations than one that goes on too long,” says Gross.

Participants should come to the meeting with a short list of goals regarding the care of the aging parent, and begin the session by identifying a primary goal for the meeting: keeping mom safe in her home, for example.

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“When siblings compare goals, they’ll often find that they’re concerned about the same things,” says Gross. “From there, a natural triage will emerge, and people will come together to a place of openness instead of defensiveness.”

Siblings who can’t get on the same page can find help in the form of family mediation. “Some mediators specialize in this topic,” says Gross. “A neutral third party can be immensely helpful in facilitating a productive meeting.”

Caring with kids

Though juggling parental care and parenting stretches a busy schedule to the limit, caretaking with kids in tow can be a multi generational boon. Managing both roles simultaneously comes more naturally than many parents assume, says Toby Donner.

The skillset used for parenting and the skillset used for caregiving are the same.

“You’re parenting your kids and you’re essentially parenting your parents, too,” she notes.

Witnessing and taking part in caretaking helps kids internalize a family’s core values, such as helping others, caring for those in

need and prioritizing our loved ones, says Gross. Children learn that sacrifices must sometimes be made to accommodate loved ones, and that we may have to put aside our own interests to help others, she says. These lessons may get lip service from parents, but nothing drives the point home like seeing parents walk their talk. “Regardless of a child’s age, it says a lot to a child to see a parent caring for an aging parent.”

Caretaking is often a constant exercise in problem-solving—and a way for kids to hone those strategic skills. Worried about grandma falling at home? Need to find a way for grandpa to hear the TV? Kids can help brainstorm and implement solutions for these kinds of concerns. Teenagers and older children may be able to drive grandparents to medical appointments.

Caretaking has given Rosenthal’s children a deeper, more meaningful bond with their grandparents. “Before, my children were peripherally engaged. Now, my mom is in a walker and can’t bend down, so my daughter helps her garden. Seeing them working together to pot a plant, laughing and sparking memories. That’s really, really special.”

Plan Ahead Is caregiving in your future? Avoid problems down the road with small steps today.

Start “The Conversation” Whether your parent is 55 or 75, asking whether he or she has a health directive or living will is a simple, non-threatening conversation starter.

Don’t wait The cost of allowing a parent to continue driving when he or she is no longer safe behind the wheel is too high to ignore. If a parent clings to the keys, enlist family members or a family counselor for support.

Heed the “Big Ds” Plan to review wills and other relevant documents each time a “Big D” rolls around: every decade, when someone dies, gets divorced, has a major diagnosis, or a decline in functioning.

Source: Carol L. Russell, Ed.D., author of Sandwiched! Tales, Tips, and Tools to Balance Life in the Sandwich Generation

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published freelance writer based in Tacoma. She specializes in health and parenting and blogs about both at www.thewellrestedfamily.com.

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TakingYour Allergies to School How to minimize the risk of an allergic reaction at school

By Carole J Alexander

I

knew something was wrong with my son. Some days he just didn’t act right.

He was hyperactive and angry. He would not cuddle or let me hold him longer than a few minutes and refused to wear clothes. If I tried to discipline him, he would sit and rock back and forth.

Other days he was fine. He loved learning but his work was inconsistent. When he was ‘off ’ his drawings were no more than scribbles, his coloring all over the page.

When he was ‘on’ you could tell the difference between his trees and his people; he colored inside the lines.

I lost babysitter after babysitter. Then he was kicked out of Sunday school. “Don’t bring him back,” the teacher said, “I don’t know what to do with him.” She only had him one hour, once a week and she didn’t know what to do with him? I just cried. By this time I had four children under six; and I didn’t know what to do.

My sister recommended a book, Is This Your Child? by Pediatric Allergist Doris Rapp. I devoured that book; it gave me hope. It helped us to figure out our son’s

problem—food coloring. Once I eliminated it from his diet I had a new child; in fact, so did the Sunday school teacher. She just had to quit giving him Kool-Aid and cookies at snack time.

I couldn’t blame my pediatrician for not knowing what was wrong with my son— twenty some years ago food allergies and intolerances were not as prevalent as today.

Now however, about one in 13 school children suffer with food allergies in the United States alone. In the ten years from 1997–2007 allergic incidences increased by 18%; except for peanut allergies, which tripled by 2008.

The most common food allergies in children are milk, egg, peanut, soy, and wheat.

Most children outgrow allergies to milk, egg, soy, and wheat by the age of ten. Not so for peanuts. Only 15–20% of children outgrow peanut, tree nut, or shellfish allergies; and reactions to these foods account for most allergy-related deaths.

Scott Commins, MD, PhD, Assistant Professor of Medicine and Pediatrics at the University of Virginia, is currently perform-

12 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

ing a clinical trial involving peanut-allergic individuals. He said that the symptoms from peanut reactions are not necessarily severe. They can vary from itching around the mouth and lips, to hives, gastro-intestinal upsets, to anaphylaxis. But just because your child has never had a severe reaction, it doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen.

Reactions from foods manifest themselves in two different ways. A true allergy, explained Dr. Madeline Dillon, Board Certified Adult and Pediatric Allergist, involves an immune system response that produces certain antibodies to the offending proteins. In other words, your body treats the food as an enemy and produces antibodies to attack it. If that immunologic response is not present, the reaction is referred to as a food intolerance. But to most parents, this terminology doesn’t matter.

They just want to protect their children from an experience that could range from uncomfortable to life-threatening—especially when they are in the care of others, like at school.

Studies show that up to 15% of children

BCP-BackToSchool-2014-Final_- 14-07-25 10:26 AM Page 13

with food allergies will experience a reaction while at school and that about 25% of the cases of anaphylaxis occurring in a school setting are children with no prior diagnosis of allergies. So what’s a parent to do?

First, communicate with your child’s school personnel. Whether your child exhibited symptoms of an allergy yesterday or years ago let the school know. Primarily this is done by filling out the proper health history forms. Some school districts request the child’s physician add his specific instructions in case of a reaction and orders for medication when necessary. Parents should begin this process early enough that the child is not starting the school year without the proper documentation in place.

Next, supply the school with any medication that the child may need should a reaction occur and replenish that supply when it expires. According to Dr. Dillon, if the child is in danger of anaphylaxis, two Epi-pens or 2 Allerjects should be available at all times.

Other things to consider:

slowly increasing, so that over many months, said Dr. Commins, “the child will have increased safety in the setting of an accidental ingestion.”

Until the time that something more develops in the treatment of food allergies, parents and schools will continue to work

together to protect the children. However, parents agree that the allergic child’s classmates make the biggest difference. “They are quick to comment that it may not be safe for my son,” said Denise, “or remind someone to read a label. Good friends can make all the difference at school!”

Finding an Allergy Friendly Private School LaShonda, mom to a five-year-old, peanut-allergic child, needed to consider her son’s allergy when looking for a preschool. Before discussing Camden’s allergy, his school did not have a plan in place. However, after educating them on the severity of the issue, one of his teachers agreed to take a class on treating children with anaphylactic allergies.

When approaching a private school, you may want to ask the following questions: 1. Has someone in the school been trained to care for and administer the Epi-pen orAllerject?

2. Is that person (or a substitute) on school premises at all times?

3. How are parents notified about allergies in a classroom when asked to send snacks to school for special occasions?

4. Will my child be separated from other children eating peanut butter (or other offending foods)?

5. Will hand washing/table wiping be enforced after eating and before playing?

“I have found that most places are willing to work with this allergy,” LaShonda said, “and if they do not already have something in place to keep my child safe, they are willing to incorporate a plan.”

• Discuss the issue with your child. Make sure he understands what he can and cannot eat. Tell him to never share food with his classmates. Darlene, mom of two, says that her child’s private school has a ‘no-food-sharing policy’ for the younger grades to protect them from a mishap.

• Discuss incident protocol with your school nurse. Ask where the child’s medication is stored. Should your child exhibit signs of anaphylaxis, exactly what would happen?

• Read all papers that come home promptly. If your child’s class is having a birthday party or some other celebration which might pose a threat, it should be communicated in a letter.

• If you are preparing food for special occasions for your child’s class, ask the teacher if there are any dietary restrictions in the classroom.

• Pack your child’s lunch, if you feel the severity of the allergy warrants it.

Unfortunately, the only known treatment for food allergies is avoidance. There is no medication, there are no immunizations; but there is hope. Current trials are being conducted that involve oral and sublingual immunotherapies for egg, peanut, and milk allergies. This involves introducing minute amounts of the allergen to the individual, bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014 13

BCP-BackToSchool-2014-Final_- 14-07-25 10:26 AM Page 14

Baby, I’m tired!

Helping your baby sleep all night

By Malia Jacobson

here’s no denying that parenting is exhausting work. But having a baby doesn’t have to mean resigning yourself to months (and years) of sleepless nights. Armed with a bit of expert knowledge, you can help your little one sleep better—so you can catch a few zzzzs, too.

T

can stay awake for 10 hours per day. If he gets up at 6 a.m. and naps for 3 hours each day, he needs a standing 7 p.m. date with his bed.

(Hint: Newborns need between 14 and 16 hours of shut-eye per day; tots one to three years old need 12–14 hours, and kids three to six need 10–12 hours.)

Find your baby’s sleep number

Nix the nightlight

According to sleep expert Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, M.D., late bedtimes cause many childhood sleep problems, because overtiredness makes it harder for children to get to sleep and stay asleep. But figuring out when to put your baby to bed can be tough.

To find your baby’s perfect bedtime, first determine how many hours of sleep he needs in a 24-hour period to determine how many hours they can comfortably stay awake per day. Set your child’s bedtime so that he is not awake longer than that, and you’ll prevent overtiredness that can wreck nighttime sleep.

For example, a ten-month-old who needs 14 hours of daily sleep

You may love the way your baby’s smile lights up a room, but when it comes to sleep, the best light is no light at all. Nighttime light disrupts melatonin production, and even a small nightlight or the light from the baby monitor can be enough to prevent deep, restful sleep. Dim the house lights after dinner and install effective blackout blinds to get the bedroom truly dark. A black twin-sized flat sheet can be folded in half and tacked around a window in a pinch.

Embrace boring

Sleep doctors agree that an effective bedtime routine is one that’s

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14 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

BCP-BackToSchool-2014-Final_- 14-07-25 10:26 AM Page 15

absolutely set in stone: the same things, in the same order, every night. “Our bodies love routine, and this is especially so with children and bedtime,” says Teitelbaum. Performing the same events in the same sequence before bed cues a child’s subconscious for sleep.

Sure, a routine this solid is bound to get boring for you. But the routine is for their sake, not yours (and a happily snoozing child is well-worth the effort).

Marpole Bilingual Montessori (Est. 1985)

Practice the pacifier

Pediatrics reports that nearly 70 percent of parents give pacifiers to their newborns. And it’s likely that a good portion of these parents find themselves getting up at night to replug their baby’s lost binky.

The sooner a child learns to manage his or her own pacifier, the better everyone sleeps. Incorporate “paci practice” into tummy time and playtime, and your baby will be self-plugging in no time.

Start sunny side up

For an easier bedtime, start your baby’s day off the bright way.

Strong morning light helps set your child’s internal clock so they’ll fall asleep more easily come nightfall. Open curtains to let the light shine in, and serve breakfast in a sunny spot. When weather permits, take a quick stroll around the block.

Atta baby

Many experts advise putting babies to bed drowsy but awake, to support independent sleep skills. It’s true, learning to fall asleep in bed will help your child learn to sleep longer stretches, and eventually, sleep through the night. But many babies won’t tolerate being put down awake. Help your baby learn to love her crib by using rhythmic patting to soothe her after placing her in bed, without picking her back up. Because infants should be placed to sleep faceup, you might not be able to pat your child’s back, so pat the crib mattress or the shoulder instead.

Avoid nap traps

Naps are important to babies and young children—they promote healthy nighttime rest—and new research from Emory University shows that they help babies learn and retain new information. But napping all day is guaranteed to make your baby nocturnal; research links more daytime sleep with less sleep at night. To promote healthy naps while preserving nighttime sleep, don’t allow naps longer than 3 hours. For most babies and young children, naps of an hour or two are long enough to be restorative without robbing nighttime sleep.

Get baby moving

Moving all day can help your baby sleep all night. A body in motion is one that’s primed for sleep, because exercise helps children fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly. So put away your stroller and carrier and let your little one move. Aim for at least 60 minutes per day of vigorous activity. Toddlers and young children need plenty of chances to walk and run; babies need lots of time on their tummies and backs to wiggle, stretch, and work their muscles.

Malia Jacobson is a nationally published sleep expert, health journalist, and mom of three. Her most recent book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

Pre-School, Junior Kindergarten & Kindergarten Celebrating Over 25 years of Montessori Teaching in the Community OUR ENRICHED MONTESSORI CURRICULUM INCLUDES:

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bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014 15

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This Mom Got Fit!

By Sandi Haustein

hen I was in college, I was the skinny girl who could eat whatever she wanted and not gain a pound —bottomless chips and queso, huge bowls of pasta, bloomin’ onions—you name it, I ate it. But ten years, three pregnancies, and three dress sizes later, I struggled with my self-image for the first time in my life. I

W

constantly compared myself to other young moms wondering how they had lost their baby weight while I still carried mine around. I hated going home to my small town because people I had known my whole life didn’t recognize me. Strangers asked me several times when my baby was due when I wasn’t even pregnant. Then, to make matters worse, a difficult loss plunged me into a deep depression, and I gained an extra ten pounds on my already overweight figure. My overeating and obsessive sodadrinking was damaging my body, but I didn’t know how else to deal with the grief. I needed to exercise, but in my depression, the last thing I wanted to do was put on my running shoes. I couldn’t start eating better, losing weight, and feeling healthier unless I made a change, but I knew that I didn’t have it in me to do it alone.

I decided to develop a competition with friends who wanted to not only lose weight but build life-long healthy habits. I came up with a list of rules, hoping for three or four women to join me in accountability. To “qualify” for my competition, participants

had to be at least 20 pounds overweight and willing to donate $10 towards a prize pot.

Over a period of 15 weeks, we would earn daily points for drinking 8–10 glasses of water, eating six servings of fruits and vegetables, posting a detailed food journal, staying within a daily calorie goal, and recording every 10 minutes of exercise. Each Monday, we would weigh in and earn points for every pound lost, and the person with the highest percentage of weight loss that week would earn extra points. At the end of the 15 weeks, the woman with the most cumulative points and the woman with the highest percentage of weight loss would split the prize money.

I posted my competition rules on Facebook, and to my surprise, not just three or four, but twenty-one friends committed to the competition we named Girls Getting Fit. These friends, from all different seasons of my life, bonded and cheered for one other with each pound lost, each goal reached and each new pair of fitting skinny pants. We supported each other through moments of failure, pulled muscles, job changes, deaths in the family, and cancer treatments. We lost

Building Healthy Habits Girls-Getting-Fit Style Drink 8–10 eight-ounce glasses of water a day. If you don’t like water, try adding a little lemon or lime juice for flavor. If you use a 32-ounce cup, you will only have to refill it once.

Aim for at least 6 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. Start your day with a smoothie or eat a salad for lunch. Make it a goal to fill half of your dinner plate with non-starchy veggies or salad and then fill the other half with a quarter protein and a quarter carbohydrate or starch.

Know how many calories your body needs. Websites like sparkpeople.com or the phone app “Lose It” will take your weight and activity level and help you determine how much you should eat daily to maintain your weight or to safely lose one to two pounds a week.

Keep a detailed food journal. According to a recent study published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, maintaining a food journal leads to greater weight loss success.

Be honest about every bite. If you log your food as you go instead of waiting until the end of the day, you’ll be better able

16 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

to plan what you eat and not go over your daily calorie goal.

Exercise. Start small if you need to, but start. Commit to taking a walk as a family every night after dinner. Meet a friend early in the morning or during your lunch hour to work out. Try lots of different forms of exercise until you find something you love — walking, jogging, cycling, rollerblading, kettlebells, jump rope, swimming, Zumba — the possibilities are endless.

Set measurable, realistic goals each week. If changing your eating habits and finding time to exercise feels overwhelming, pick one healthy, attainable goal each week. Your goal may be to drink 32 ounces of water before drinking anything else, to walk for 30 minutes three times a week, or to only eat second servings of vegetables.

Be accountable to others. In Girls Getting Fit, we shared everything from our daily food journals and exercise choices to our weekly weigh-ins. Seeing each other’s successes encouraged us to keep moving towards our own goals and seeing each other’s failures helped us not to feel alone.

BCP-BackToSchool-2014-Final_- 14-07-25 10:26 AM Page 17

weight through good old-fashioned hard work, one small change at a time, and we had fun doing it together. The eight women who persevered to the end lost a combined total of 165 pounds, an average of over 20 pounds per person. Lynn, my friend battling cancer, was the winner of the most accumulated points. After incorporating exercise and healthy eating into her life, her recovery after radiation treatments went from three weeks to ten days, amazing her doctors who had been encouraging her for a long time to get healthy. Rachel, the winner of the highest percentage of weight loss, lost almost 17% of her weight and went on to run two 5Ks. Lori’s ratio between “bad” and “good” cholesterol improved dramatically, and after three years of being on antidepressants, Deanne was able to wean off medication.

I may not have been the Biggest Loser, but at the end of those 15 weeks, I had lost 23 pounds and more than two dress sizes. I learned to eat smaller portions and to view food as fuel instead of something with which to stuff my stomach when I’m bored or stressed. My husband and I discovered a love for kettlebells which somehow helped

eliminate the back pain I had long experienced, and our family became more active, taking hikes on Saturdays and joining the YMCA to work out and swim. My weight loss and healthy lifestyle rebirthed self-confidence and a sense of beauty in me that had been missing for many years. The healthy habits I learned and the support of my Girls Getting Fit friends played an important role in my emotional healing, too.

I know I’m not the only mom who has let her health take a back seat during the

early years of parenting. Maybe you’ve struggled with making healthy food choices or fitting exercise into your busy life, and you feel like you’ll never be in shape. Why not make a small change towards a healthier you or better yet, start your own competition like Girls Getting Fit? It might just be one of the best decisions you ever make, for you and your family.

Sandi Haustein is a freelance writer who makes a mean green tropical smoothie and loves going on hikes with her husband and three sons.

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fall activity guide dance A-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, Vancouver www.astarstudio.com Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy 604/671-9182, Vancouver www.mozaicoflamenco.com Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts 604/926-6535, West Van The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com AUUC School of Dance 604/254-3436 danceschool@auucvancouver.ca www.auucvancouver.ca Experience for yourself the joy and

artistry of Ukrainian dance! Quality & creative instruction in Folk-Stage, Ballet & Contemporary Dance. 85 years of arts programs reflecting a modern multicultural experience.

Ages 3 to adult.

Dance Co 604/736-3394, Vancouver www.danceco.com info@danceco.com Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training for all ages and levels. Providing technique and performance while developing confidence and creativity.

Programs start throughout the year, for more information visit our website.

Dance Expressions 604/574-2277, Surrey www.dancexp.com Douglas Ballet Academy 604/420-0204, Vancouver www.douglasballet.homestead. com

Academy of International Dance Arts 604/327-9313 www.academyofinternational dancearts.com Gabriela’s Movement Studio 604/272-0607 www.movementstudio.ca gabriela@movementstudio.ca Goh Ballet Academy 604/872-4014 info@gohballet.com www.gohballet.com Training institute of provincial champions in the Junior, Intermediate & Senior levels as well as International Gold Medal Award Recipients.

Well balanced curriculum, RAD examinations & extensive performance opportunities. hz Ballet Classique 604/299-9698, Burnaby www.balletclassique.com Just for Kicks School of Dance 604/596-4161, Surrey North Shore Academy of Dance 604/987-3814 Northwest Academy of Performing Arts 604/306-7390 www.NAPAdance.com Pacific Dance Arts 604/738-8575 www.pacificdancearts.ca Place des Arts Centre & Music School 604/664-1636, Coquitlam www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment where experienced, caring teachers offer instruction in the visual, performing and literary arts for all ages and abilities. Ongoing

18 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun, as do our youth (13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual art and creative writing run fall, winter and spring.

Port Moody School of Dance 604/936-0966 www.portmoodydance.com Surrey Dance Centre 604/599-9961 www.surreydancecentre.com The Landing Dance Centre 604/325-8653 www.thelandingdance.com Tri-City Dance Centre 604/523-6868, Coquitlam www.tricitydance.com Unhinge Dance 778/833-3914 www.unhingedance.ca unhingedance@hotmail.com Vancouver Tap Dance Society 604/253-0293 www.vantapdance.bc.ca Vancouver Academy of Dance 604/231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com Vancouver Academy of Dance offers summer dance camps in ballet, jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics, ballroom and Chinese Dance at their main location in Richmond.

Westside Dance Centre Ltd 604/736-1000 www.westsidedance.ca We offer great classes in Tap, Jazz, Ballet and Hip hop for kids as young as 3 years old, right up to adults.

BCP-BackToSchool-2014-Final_- 14-07-25 10:26 AM Page 19

fall activity guide

music Allegro Music School Inc. 604/327-7765, Vancouver Arbutus Music Academy 604/736-8767 www.arbutusmusicacademy.com The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca BC Conservatory of Music 604/299-2984, Burnaby www.bcmusic.ca BC Registered Music Teachers Assoc.

604/733-5531 www.bcrmta.bc.ca Visit our website to find a qualified registered music teacher. Be assured of knowledgeable, competent and qualified instruction.

Campos Music 604/325-0480 Carillon Music 604/591-1161 www.carillonmusic.com Colourstrings Music Studio 604/730-5418, Vancouver www.colourstringsvan.com Delta Community Music School 604/946-1280, Delta

Dominanta Music School 604/767-0949, Burnaby www.dominanta.ca Jean Lyons School of Music 604/734-4019 www.jeanlyonsmusic.com Jumpstart Music & Movement 604/777-7179 www.jumpstartmusicand movement.com Langley Community Music School 604/534-2848 www.langleymusic.com Long & McQuade Music Education Centres www. long-mcquade.com Music for Young Children 800/828-4334 www.myc.com Music Teachers on the Go 778/882-7603 info@musicteachersonthego.com www.musicteachersonthego.com North Shore Music Academy 604/925-3403, North Van Noteworthy Music 604/270-3620, Richmond

Oakridge Music Studio 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com Pacific Academy for Music 604/944-0336, Port Coquitlam www.musicinstructor.net Pacific Piano Studio 604/329-7290 Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides a warm, friendly learning environment where experienced, caring teachers offer instruction in the visual, performing and literary arts for all ages and abilities. Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun, as do our youth (13–17 years) pre-professional Theatre and Musical Theatre Companies; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual art and creative writing run fall, winter and spring.

Prussin Music 604/736-3036 www.prussinmusic.com Prussin Music has been serving families since 1985. We offer instrument sales, rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachers are enthusiastic and active in Vancouver’s musical community. We have lessons for all levels and all ages including summer camps and Suzuki classes.

Internationally reputable, innovative programs combining Kodaly-Orff-Dalcroze.

Music & Movement 0-7 yrs.

Playful singing games develop core music skills and literacy Piano, Percussion, Violin, Viola, Cello, Guitar, Flute lessons 5 yrs+

604-730-5418 www.colourstringsvan.com bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014 19

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fall activity guide Richmond Community Music School 604/272-5227, Richmond www.richmondmusicschool.ca

piano, classical guitar, band and orchestral instruments.

Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby

Vancouver Children’s Choir 604/682-3838 www.vancouverchildrenschoir.ca Love to sing? Vancouver Children’s Choir auditioning now! Girls 8–16, Boys 8–12. Call for an appointment.

Staccato Music Studios 604/421-3753 www.staccatostudios.com

The Violin ABC’s 778/896-5729 www.violin-abc.com

Steveston Music Centre 604/271-3545, Steveston

Western Conservatory of Music 604/530-0317, White Rock

School of Music and Dance 604/951-3725, Surrey

Tom Lee Music 604/685-8471, Vancouver www.tomleemusic.ca At Tom Lee Music Learning Centre, you can enjoy excellent music education in a fun community atmosphere.

Students of all ages come together for a positive music making experience at our 7key and satellite locations in Vancouver, plus 2 on Vancouver Island.

To register, please call 604.688.8929.

Email: music.academy@tomleemusic.ca Vancouver Academy of Music 604/734-2301 www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes.

Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, and flute. Piano group class (ages 4–9).

Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music history and theory. Private instruction in

performing & visual arts The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com For more than 35 years, Arts Umbrella has proudly provided high quality education in visual, media and performing arts to children and youth throughout Metro Vancouver. Classes available for ages 2–19. Join our community where art comes alive!

Artspace Children’s Arts Centre www.artspaceforchildren.com

Carousel Theatre for Young People 604/669-3410 www.carouseltheatre.ca CircusWest 604/252-3679 www.circuswest.com E.J.S. School of Fine Arts 604/596-4883 Gateway Theatre 604/247-4975 www.gatewaytheatre.com In-Studio Art Classes/ Marta Roberson Smyth 604/254-0961 www.martademaria.com Mentoring children from six to sixteen with personalised instruction in small groups.

JCC Performing Arts School 604/257-5111, Vancouver

StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools 1-877-787-8243 www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.

The world’s largest part-time theatre school network, with weekend schools across the Lower Mainland. We offer classes in Singing, Dancing and Drama every weekend alongside the school term as well as week long summer camps. Building confidence in young people since 1988! Come join the fun!

Schools are located in Vancouver Eastside/Westside, Richmond, Surrey, Coquitlam, Langley, Victoria Surrey Art Gallery 604/501-5566 Vancouver Film School 604/685-5808 Vancouver Youth Theatre 604/877-0678; www.vyt.ca

specialty

Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, N. Vancouver

Bricks 4 Kidz 778/822-5672 www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouver Bricks 4 Kidz® provides programs that inspire kids to learn about architecture, engineering and design concepts while having fun building with LEGO® bricks. Now offering After School Enrichment Classes, Camps and Birthday Parties. Ages 5–12.

Place des Arts 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Rainbow Art School Ltd. 604/733-9524 rainbowartschool@gmail.com Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby

20 years Classical Ballet Contemporary Lyrical Jazz Broadway Hip Hop Acro Tap

MUSIC PROGRAMS FOR BABIES & CHILDREN

3MNTHS - 8YRS old recreational/competitive/professional

'DQFH &R RljHUV XQSDUDOOHOHG GDQFH WUDLQLQJ IRU DOO DJHV DQG OHYHOV Register now for Fall programs!

Visit DanceCo.com danceco.com email: info@danceco.com 604.736.3394 154-4255 Arbutus St, Vancouver

Conveniently located at Arbutus Village Shopping Centre

20 bcparent.ca • back to school issue 2014

Colourstrings, Orff and Suzuki classes Vancouver & Richmond locations

YOUR GIVE A CHILD R OSTE O B BRAIN SIC U M WITH

REGISTER FOR FALL ONLINE OR BY PHONE www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca

604.915.9300

BCP-BackToSchool-2014-Final_- 14-07-25 10:49 AM Page 21

fall activity guide

C e l e b r a t i n g 2 0 Ye a r s O f D a n c e E x c e l l e n c e !

2014-2015 Dance Programs For All Ages & Levels

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The OďŹ&#x192;cial Angelina BallerinaÂŽ Dance Academy Program Now in Richmond & Vancouver! International Dance Program Inspires Youngsters to Pursue Their Dancing Dreams!

Developed by a dance education specialist, the program is designed for children ages three to six years old. The program teaches beginner ballet at two levels with music and narration from Angelina Ballerina!

For more information:

www.vancouverdance.com info@vancouverdance.com 604.231.8293 Register at 118-12828 Clarke Place, Richmond (Near Ikea)

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we inspire i i the th artist ti t in i everyone!!

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FUN & FREE! MEND is a 10 week family-based education program designed to help children above a healthy weight and their IDPLOLHV JHW Ă&#x20AC;WWHU KHDOWKLHU DQG KDSSLHU Participants will receive a FREE 3 month recreation pass!

Drop by our free open house on Sept 13, 2-4pm

MEND is being offered this September at: Abbotsford 604-859-3134 ext. 5297 Chilliwack 604-799-3732

Langley 604-455-8821 New Westminster 604-777-5100 Vancouver 604-320-5826

&DOO WR OHDUQ PRUH DQG UHJLVWHU Visit www.bchealthykids.ca for more information on MEND

Register now for fall classes

Place P l a ce d des es Arts Ar t s www.placedesarts.ca 1120 Brunette Ave., Coquitlam | 604.664.1636

bcparent.ca â&#x20AC;˘ back to school issue 2014 21

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fall activity guide Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art 604/733-1356 www.christianne hayward.com The Lyceum encourages young people to see themselves as readers, writers and artists as they engage with abstract ideas and reflect on their own place in society. Programs include: bookclubs, writers’ workshops, literature and art classes and holiday and summer camps.

The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classes for Kids 778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen 604/727-5331 www.kimikoskitchen.com MEND MEND is a 10-week family-based education program designed to help children ages 7–13 who are above a healthy weight and their families get fitter, healthier and happier. It is a free program starting in September. Please visit www.bchealthykids.ca for a location near you.

Sewing with Frances 604/433-1030 www.francessewing school.com Vancouver Aquarium 604/659-FISH www.vanaqua.org/

sports Aquaventures Swim Centre 604/736-SWIM www.aquaventuresswim.com Award-winning program in tropical warm water.

Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouver www.atlantisprograms. com Club Aviva 604/526-4464, Coquitlam www.clubaviva.citysoup. ca

North Shore Equestrian Centre 604/988-5131 www.wecreateriders.com Quantum Gymnastics Centre 604/465-9293, Maple Ridge www.quantumgym.com RBL Basketball 604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295 www.RBLBasketball.ca Instructional programs, leagues, holiday camps

for boys and girls from Kindergarten to Grade 10.

Richmond Gymnastics Association 604/278-3614 www.richmond gymnastics.com Richmond Olympic Oval 778/296-1400 wwwrichmondoval.ca Visit our website for details about our programs.

Sportball 604/688-3157 www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sports program for children 16 months to 12 years. Children are introduced to eight popular sports: soccer, hockey, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis and golf. Sportball offers weekly programs, outdoor soccer, camps during school holidays, and birthday parties.

Come try a free trial class! See our website for a location near you.

UBC Gymnastics 604/822-0207 Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics 604/737-7693 www.phoenix gymnastics.com White Rock Gymnastics 604/542-0386 www.whiterock gymnastics.com

Dynamo Swim Club 778/866-6604 www.dynamoswimclub. net The Edge Climbing Centre 604/984-9080 www.edgeclimbing.com Jump! Gymnastics 604/568-9690 www.jumpgymnastics.ca Kids in Motion 604/970-7945 www.kids-inmotion.ca Langley Gymnastics Foundation 604/532-1022 www.langleygymnastics. org The Little Gym of Langley 604/539-2543 www.thelittlegym.com Marina’s Swim School 604/818-4650 www.marinaswim school.com

YOUR JOURNEY STARTS HERE. FALL SESSION STARTS SEPTEMBER 15.

Where will your creative journey take you?

Join our community where the arts come to life.

ENROLL TODAY | ARTSUMBRELLA.COM

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Read our new blogs… catch up on past issues… enter our contests and find out about great family events in the Lower Mainland.

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