BC Parent 2015 Education Guide

education issue 2014 www.bcparent.ca

Egg Freezing Best Bullying Prevention

2015 Education Guide

inside ...

4 Debunking the Top 5 Myths about Private Schools

10 Dropping a Nap without Drama

6 Blurring the Homework Lines

12 How to Party Healthy this Season

One mom’s confession

14 Egg Freezing

8 The Best Bullying Prevention

Can it stop the biological clock?

17 Independent School Listings 22 Smart Kids, Smart Choices

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Publisher/Executive Editor: Forrest Phillips

Contributors: Mairi Campbell, Sandra Gordon, Carolyn Jabs, Malia Jacobson, Lara Krupicka, Erin McLaughlin

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Education Issue 2014 Volume 23, Number 8

BC Parent Newsmagazine

bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 3

Debunking the top 5 myths about private schools

By Erin McLaughlin

M

More private schools are opening their doors to students of diverse backgrounds, with most offering scholarships, bursaries and financial aid.

Myth #1: Private schools are only for the wealthy.

FACT: Not just for the elite, a growing number of

yth or fact? Private schools are insular places only for the privileged. If that were true, U.S. President Barack Obama, his sister Maya Soetoro-Ng, and other notable alumni who won scholarships may not have had the opportunity to get a solid private school education. With help from education experts and industry leaders, we debunk the misconceptions about independent schools.

Canadian independent schools are trying to attract the best and brightest by beefing up their financial aid and scholarship programs.

“One of the top myths right now is that independent schools are not as accessible as they actually are,” says Anne-Marie Kee, executive director of the Canadian Accredited Independent Schools (CAIS), noting that millions of dollars in financial aid are distributed to families each year. “I think it’s worthwhile for parents to take time to inquire about really understanding what the value is for the tuition and what kind of financial assistance is available to families each year.”

Myth #2: All private schools are alike.

Parents need to do their research to find the best fit for their child because Canada has thousands of independent schools—each one varying in character, philosophy, values, cultures, programs and missions.

FACT:

4 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

“Not all schools are the same,” says Kee of CAIS. “Each school has an individual vision, mission and set of values, so it’s really valuable for parents to find out about the values of the school and if they’re aligned with the values of the family to see if that child is going to be successful in that environment.”

Just because it’s an independent school doesn’t necessarily mean any one will be right for your child, she adds. “Instead, parents really have to invest time in learning about the different schools and do their homework,” she says.

“The Vancouver Private School Expo is a great place to start” says Agnes Stawicki, managing editor with Our Kids Media who publish the annual guide to the best private schools and host the Private School Expo. “In just one afternoon, families will gain the knowledge they need to make the right school choice for their kids.”

Myth #3: Teachers in private schools are not well qualified and the schools are not accountable.

FACT: In most provinces, private schools that receive

provincial funds must hire only certified teachers, says Michael Zwaagstra, co-author of the book What’s Wrong with Our Schools and How We Can Fix Them.

Many schools have their own accountability systems through a governance structure, such as a board.

While not all independent schools across Canada are required to follow the government curriculum, many meet or exceed provincial standards. However, there’s

a caveat for parents to do research on the schools; for example, membership to reputable associations that require schools to meet certain standards is voluntary.

“In fact, most private schools are more regulated than their public school counterparts, which do not get inspected at all,” says Agnes Stawicki. “All independent schools, elementary and secondary, must regularly submit to the toughest critics of all—tuition-paying parents who will ‘vote with their feet’ if the educational quality is in question.”

Myth #4: Independent schools weaken public education.

FACT: In all jurisdictions where govern-

ments have financially supported school choice, they have also retained their commitment to quality public education, says Barb Bierman, Executive Director of the Ontario Federation of Independent Schools.

“In North America, wherever provinces or states support school choice, 90 per cent (on average) of all students still attend public schools,” she adds. “There is a grow-

ing body of evidence which shows increased levels of student achievement and parental satisfaction in all schools, including public schools, when parents are truly free to choose.”

Myth #5: Independent schools lack diversity and isolate themselves from communities.

FACT: More private schools are opening

their doors to students of diverse backgrounds, with most offering scholarships, bursaries and financial aid.

“I’ve seen the involvement of students and I have the opinion that independent schools indeed participate in social responsibility leading to the public good,” says Peter Froese, executive director of the Federation of Independent School Associations in Vancouver (FISA). “If you look and track the graduates coming out of private schools, they are very much involved in the political leadership of our province and our country, they are very much involved in social services, and they are very much involved in providing professional services to the community to sustain our society.”

Vancouver Private School Expo, Nov. 16th

If you are considering private school for your child, don’t miss the Our Kids Private School Expo in Vancouver on November 16th, 2014. Meet with leading schools, speak with education and financial consultants, and gain the knowledge you need to make an informed decision about your child’s education. Everything you need to know, in just one afternoon. Family admission tickets are available at www.schoolexpo.ca.

Erin McLaughlin,Our Kids Guide to Private Schools, www.ourkids.net

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bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 5

Blurring the Homework Lines One Mom’s Confession

by Lara Krupicka

uring open house at my children’s school I secretly cringe at my girls’ handmade posters next to the projects with multi-colour graphs and computerprinted illustrations with neat, precise captions under each one. The creations with my girls’ names on them look amateur in comparison.

But at least my kids complete their homework independently, I think. It’s obvious an adult contributed more than a little to these others.

Okay, so I’ve always been a bit judgmental of parents who insert themselves into their kids’ schoolwork. I’m a rule follower.

It’s a matter of principle.

But I also have to admit: I once completed my daughter’s homework for her myself.

It was 9 o’clock at night—past bedtime for my seventh-grader. Yet her light remained on. I poked my head around her door to see her sitting on her bed, coloured pencil in hand, lips pursed.

“Why are you up?” I asked. I plunked beside her on the bed and looked down at the page on her lap desk. Graph paper. She

D

6 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

was colouring it in a geometric pattern of orange and blue.

“It’s my math homework,” she replied.

And then she looked up at me, tears pooling in her eyes. “I still have reading to do for language arts,” she moaned. “And I have to fill this whole paper.”

I peered closer at the page. It was only half completed.

“What is this math homework about?” I asked. “What are you supposed to be learning?” Between sniffles she muttered about patterning and trapezoids.

“Do you understand patterns and trapezoids now?” I asked, rubbing my hand up and down on her back. She nodded.

It wasn’t the first time she stayed up late working on homework that year. Not because she was a slow worker or procrastinator (although she can be both at times)— but because often the work she got required intense amounts of manual effort—usually lots of colouring, like this one. And it frequently resulted in her becoming overwhelmed and falling apart. But with each one she rejected my offers to talk to her

teachers about the workload. And she turned down my suggestions to turn in an incomplete project.

I could see this wasn’t going to go well without my intervention. I needed to try something different. Even as the conformist in me cried “foul,” I knew what I had to do.

I stopped rubbing and held out both hands.

“Give me your homework,” I instructed.

“And go get ready for bed.”

“But…” she started to protest. Then her shoulders slumped and she handed me the pencil and paper, and tucked the lap desk beside her bed. She sleepily dragged herself away to the bathroom.

I can’t believe I’m doing this, I thought as I situated myself at her desk, armed with two coloured pencils. My children’s work was their own. They earned their grades fair and square. And yet there I was about to not only help, but actually complete a portion of my daughter’s homework. Or as it appeared to me, ‘busy work.’

Yet in that moment I also knew I was being the best parent to her that I could.

This rebel mother had a cause—a bigger picture of her daughter’s school performance and what was in her best interest. In my mind I had to weigh which mattered most: an assignment completed by a diligent child who the following day would be drowsy and irritable (and not at all focused in any class)? Or a project done with some “help” allowing the sleep-sensitive girl to have a good night’s rest and a productive school day after?

Her previous objections to my offers for other kinds of assistance told me she was learning about school and the importance of owning her assignments and being conscientious. She also did well at grasping concepts quickly. In this case I figured she didn’t need to colour 48 trapezoids when 24 would suffice. In my mind she had finished her homework—enough to comprehend the lesson.

So I attacked the grid with vigor—four squares across orange, then three blue, four orange. I lost myself in the repetition of the work—more like colouring than math. And never mind that I lack artistic skill.

Colouring like a seventh-grader was coming in handy, for once.

I completed several rows before she returned to the room in her pajamas, looking much more settled. I reassured her as I tucked her in that her math homework would be ready in the morning and I would wake her early enough to finish her reading.

In the end the assignment was turned in on time and the reading got done. Even better, my daughter woke up relaxed and more confident about school than she had been in weeks.

We never spoke of the colouring incident

after that day. And I haven’t done anyone else’s homework since.

But I learned sometimes it’s better to bend the rules for the sake of the bigger picture. And now I try not to judge parents who contribute to their children’s schoolwork (at least not so much—there are rules after all). I just hope they won’t judge my kid’s projects for looking amateur.

Lara Krupicka is mom to three girls, ages 15, 13, and 10… which probably explains even more why she doesn’t do their homework for them—who has the time?

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The best

Bullying Prevention How developing Social Emotional skills can protect your child from bullying and becoming a bully.

By Carolyn Jabs

B

ullying is a word that has almost lost its meaning because it’s been used so often and under so many circumstances. That’s especially true online where cyberbullying is used to describe almost any interaction that makes adults uncomfortable from flaming, gossip and pranks to impersonation, slander and threats.

In her new book, It’s Complicated, Hannah Boyd points out that “the language of bullying often presumes that there’s a perpetrator and a victim. By focusing on blaming the perpetrator and protecting the victim, well-intended adults often fail to recognize the complexity of most conflicts.” She suggests that parents avoid using the term “bullying” unless behaviour meets three criteria identified by Swedish psychologist Dan Olweus: Aggression: What’s the intent? Is the perpetrator trying to hurt or intimidate someone? Sometimes behaviour that looks like bullying is actually a misguided attempt at humor or a response to stress.

Repetition: What’s the frequency? Even the nicest people hurt others on occasion because they are oblivious or under stress.

Bullying involves repeating a behaviour even after the perpetrator understands that it’s painful or damaging to another person.

Imbalance: Who has the power? Young people themselves often describe conflict be8 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

tween peers as drama rather than bullying.

They seem to understand that bullying involves disproportionate power—a stronger person picks on a weaker one precisely because he or she cannot fight back effectively. Research confirms that children are 63% more likely to be bullied if they have disabilities or perceived differences (such as being gay or overweight).

In situations which meet these three criteria, adults must intervene because bullying has lasting consequences for everyone

When parents cultivate their own social and emotional skills, home becomes a sanctuary.

involved. Research shows that children who are bullied tend to be lonely anxious and depressed. Children who become bullies are also likely to have underlying social and emotional problems that interfere with healthy relationships. Even children who witness aggression are vulnerable to emotional distress and anxiety.

Of course, Boyd acknowledges that online interactions which fall short of bullying can still be hurtful. Girls are more likely to participate in and be wounded by gossip and rumors especially about looks and sex-

ual behaviour. Boys are more likely to participate in pranking—practical jokes that aren’t really funny—and punking which consists of insults and intimidation.

All of this happens offline too, but online abuse has several unique features.

Some people find it easier to be cruel when they don’t have to deal with consequences directly. Also, online humiliation can be deeper because there are so many witnesses and more long lasting because it’s difficult to eradicate cyber slurs. Online, the child who is behaving poorly may feel there is no risk of punishment, and the child who is tormented may feel there is no escape.

Parents are the ones who have to consistently reinforce two messages: 1) Cruel behaviour is always unacceptable. 2) In difficult circumstances, healthy people stay focused on what they can control. Boyd recommends Social Emotional Learning as one of the best ways to protect a child from being bullied or becoming a bully. Kids who develop these five capacities are less likely to take out their feelings on others and less likely to become targets.

Self Awareness: Help your children recognize and reflect on their own feelings. Just knowing that he or she feels angry or sad, frustrated or vulnerable gives a child more options.

Self Management: Children aren’t born

with self control. They need help in learning how to insert thought between feeling and action. Children who can’t manage their impulses are more likely to lash out in response to provocation or stress. A child who is able to calm himself and think through a problem is less likely to say or do cruel things and less likely to trigger hostility in others.

Social Awareness: Teaching kids to be tolerant is one of the best ways to prevent aggression. From an early age, encourage your children to be respectful, tolerant and even curious about people who are different in appearance, abilities, point of view or cultural background.

Relationship Skills: Research suggests that children are less likely to be unkind to others when they have high quality friendships.

Some kids make friends easily but others need coaching. For good advice about helping kids develop strong friendships, see the article at Parenting Science (www.parentingscience.com/kids-make-friends.html).

Decision Making: If a child is miserable because of what others are doing, the most empowering thing a parent can do is help her refocus on what she can do. Although retaliating in kind is tempting, it’s rarely the most effective strategy. Instead, help your child think through different ways of responding to aggression. Sometimes the best option is to redirect attention to what’s positive—the many “likes” instead of the one snarky comment. In other cases, it may make sense to limit contact with people who behave poorly by using the controls available in most social networks or by switching to a network like WeHeartIt where users collect and share things that inspire them without getting comments from other people. (Other good suggestions are available at endcyberbullying.squarespace. com/what-to-do-if-youre-a-victim.

Important as it is to talk about these ideas, children benefit more when parents embody them. When parents cultivate their own social and emotional skills, home becomes a sanctuary. Then, if your kids encounter aggression and cruelty online or anywhere else, they’ll know they can turn to you for compassion, insight, respect, strength, and strategy.

Carolyn Jabs, M.A., raised three computer savvy kids including one with special needs. She has been writing Growing Up Online for ten years and is working on a book about constructive responses to conflict. Visit www.growing-up-online.com to read other columns.

bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 9

Dropping a nap without drama The road to a single afternoon nap can be bumpy—let us lead the way.

By Malia Jacobson

T

he move from two daytime naps to a single afternoon nap is a hallmark of toddlerhood, but it’s fraught with confusion for parents. Your tot knows when he’s ready to transition to a single nap, but with decidedly limited verbal capabilities, he can’t easily clue you in.

Instead, he cries and fights naptime, wakes up tired after a too-short nap, or skips them altogether. Even worse, diminished day sleep may leave him so overtired that he sleeps restlessly and wakes at night. The result: a cranky toddler with exhausted parents.

Unfortunately, there’s no quick fix.

According to Raj Kakar, M.D., boardcertified sleep specialist and medical director of the Dallas Center for Sleep Disorders, it can take months to arrive at a comfortable one-nap routine. Until then, your child is in limbo. Two naps, and he’s bouncing off the walls at bedtime; one nap, and he’s fried by sundown.

The good news? A little knowledge goes a long way. Read on.

every day for a week, then she’s probably ready for fewer daytime siestas.

Ready or not?

Gear up to step down

The first step toward a successful transition is determining whether your child is ready.

Generally, a tot who can stay awake happily for four hours or longer during the day is ready. Nearly all one-year-olds will drop the morning nap before they turn two, most during the second half of the second year.

In Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Marc Weissbluth, M.D., reports that only 17 percent of twelve-month-olds have a single nap. By 15 months, the number is 56 percent. By twenty-four months, 95 percent of toddlers have transitioned to a single nap.

Don’t rush the transition; your baby will likely skip a nap or two long before she’s ready to join the ranks of single-nappers.

The key to determining if she’s ready to switch lies in consistency. If she bucks a nap

During the transition, keep your eyes on the prize: a single nap in the afternoon is your goal. Older toddlers’ circadian rhythms are geared toward an afternoon siesta—it helps them prepare for a pleasant evening, an easy bedtime, and a restful night. But as any parent knows, toddlers can be uncooperative. They frequently take a late-morning nap without complaint and skip the critical afternoon nap. This lands them smack-dab in the middle of meltdown city by early evening.

When your child shows signs of dropping a nap, make sure the morning snooze is the one to go. Gradually decrease the length of the morning nap by 15 minutes every few days to preserve the afternoon nap.

10 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

Going, going, gone

Even with a shortened morning snooze, many tots will persist in skipping the afternoon nap. In this case, Dr. Weissbluth suggests making the morning nap 10 to 20 minutes later each day until it occurs at midday. If your little one is falling asleep during dinner, try alternating two-nap days with one-nap days until she can get by on a single snooze, or offer a short catnap in the late afternoon.

Kathleen Yarbro of Spokane, Washingston, used this technique to help her daughter Bethany make the switch. “I pushed the a.m. nap later and let her sleep as long as she needed. Then she took a short catnap in the late afternoon until she could make it all the way to bedtime without one,” she explains.

Taking care of business, working overtired

During the transition to a single nap, your child might need an ultra-early bedtime to compensate for extra tiredness. Contrary to popular belief, dropping a nap doesn’t mean your child needs less sleep overall. Toddlers need between 12 to 14 hours of sleep until around age three, so fewer daytime naps

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often means your child will require an earlier bedtime to compensate for lost sleep during the day.

Be prepared to spend extra time winding down your extra-tired tot before his single nap and at bedtime. This is a great time to establish a naptime routine if you don’t

If he bucks a nap every day for a week, then he’s probably ready for fewer daytime siestas.

can disrupt the afternoon nap; a ten-minute snooze during a midmorning car trip may be enough to render your child napless come afternoon. Once a single midday nap is established, incorporate some morning quiet time, but be careful to preserve his afternoon rest.

Above all, don’t expect an overnight change. It’s usually a slow transition over weeks or months. “Most children take 3 to 4 months to fully make the switch,” notes Dr. Kakar.

Look out, world!

already have one. “It’s important to create recognizable ritual that the child associates with sleep,” says. Dr. Kakar. “This makes the transition from two naps to one nap easier.”

Beware the nap echo

After your child has made the switch, she may feel the pull of a morning nap for months. Tiny doses of morning slumber

While you might miss the morning break, there are perks to parenting a single-napper.

“It’s liberating—fewer naps to work around!” says Yarbro. Kids are often so tired by the time their single nap arrives that they go down quickly and sleep for a longer stretch. Even better, you now have the entire morning free to explore the world with your little dynamo.

Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

H Help elp TTrust rus Support Su p Direction Dire

Ef ficient and ef fective decision making Efficient effective that tak es children out of the middle and takes helps separat ed parents ge e separated gett on with their liv lives www.bcpcroster.com www.bcpcroster.com

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How to Party Healthy this Season

By Sandra Gordon

D

uring the holidays, food isn’t just food. It’s a delicious experience loaded with tradition and temptation. But if you’re not careful, in the weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, the indulgent delights of stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and eggnog can become the harsh reality extra pounds.

The good news? A study by the National Institutes of Health concluded that, on average, most of us gain only about one pound between mid-November and mid-January.

It doesn’t sound like much until you consider that an extra holiday pound doesn’t typically melt away after the ball drops in Times Square. Instead, it’s a catalyst. Studies show that holiday weight gain is a major contributor to weight gain throughout the year.

Plus, the one-pound holiday weight surplus is an average. “In my experience, there are plenty of people who gain six to eight pounds,” says Linda Spangle, a weight-loss counselor and author of 100 Days of Weight Loss.

Still, the holidays don’t have to be a big issue. To survive the season and beyond with your waistline intact, party healthy, not hearty. The key is developing strate gies that keep your portions—and your appetite—under control. These temptationtaming tactics can help.

“Not just yet—I’m going to wait a little while,” is a magical line that most people won’t challenge.

“For several days before a holiday party, cut back on both fat and calories,” says Riska Platt, RD, a nutrition consultant for the Cardiac Rehabilitation Center at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City. That way, you’ll be able to eat a little more without worrying about it. But never arrive at your celebration starving, or you’ll overeat. Instead, have a piece of fruit, a small salad or a cup of low-fat

Have a game plan.

yogurt before leaving home. A solid snack will keep you from pouncing on the bowl of nuts or potato chips as soon as you arrive.

Cook in your skinny jeans. If you’re doing the cooking for the party, slip into something less comfortable while you’re working away in the kitchen. Tight clothing will help you aware of your waistline and curb the urge to nibble. If you’re wearing an apron, tie it snugly.

Prevent a test fest. If you’re preparing a dish you’ve never made before, go ahead and taste along the way. But use a teaspoon and sip water frequently to cleanse your palate. If you’re making a repeat recipe, there’s no need to taste test. Pop in a stick of gum to curb the urge to nibble.

Use delay tactics. When you arrive at a party or family gathering and it’s time for drinks and appetizers, have a glass of seltzer, seltzer mixed with fruit juice or diet soda.

Hold off on the hors d’oeuvres and cocktails for a while and mingle without anything. “The longer you put off eating and

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drinking alcohol, the less time you’ll have to overindulge,” says Cathy Nonas, RD, author of Outwit Your Weight. Moreover, research shows that consuming alcohol and high-fat appetizers may cause you to eat more during the main course.

To avoid feeling deprived and pressured to partake, pour your seltzer, juice spritzer or diet soda in a wine or high-ball glass.

“No one will know you’re having a completely low-damage drink,” Spangle says. If others offer you food or pressure you to indulge, avoid saying: “No thank you. I’m watching my weight.” “That will draw you into uncomfortable conversations about why you really shouldn’t be a party pooper,” Spangle says. A better idea: Repeat this comeback: “Not just yet. I’m going to wait a little while.” “It’s a magical line, one that most people won’t challenge,” Spangle says.

Limit your choices. At holiday parties with an appetizer or buffet spread, “Follow the rule of two,” says Brian Wansink, Ph.D., director of the food and brand lab at Cornell University and author of Slim by Design. That is, don’t put more than two foods on your plate at any given time.

By doing so, “you’ll intuitively limit your choices, while focusing on your favorite foods so you don’t feel deprived,” he says.

In one study Wansink conducted, participants who followed that guideline ended up eating 36 percent less over the course of an evening compared to those who didn’t.

At sit-down dinners, use a different strategy: Go ahead and fill three-quarters of your plate with healthy, lower-calorie options, such as salads, grain dishes and vegetables, and reserve the remaining quarter of your plate for anything you want, whether or not it’s low calorie. Then savor each and every bite.

Beware of seconds. Another helping of mashed potatoes (110 calories), a slice of turkey breast (120) and a narrow sliver of pecan pie (215) don’t seem like much. But do the math and you’ll discover that “just a little but more” can easily add up to more than 440 calories and about 14 grams of fat.

To tame temptation, take a 20-minute intermission. Have a cup of tea, or hang out in the living room away from the holiday spread, to see if the urge to refill your plate passes.

On your holiday dinner is over, store leftover turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and the like in opaque containers. Or, “wrap leftovers in aluminum foil, not plastic wrap,” says Gerald J. Musante, Ph.D., author of The Structure House Weight Loss Plan. We’re all on a see-food diet. The mere sight of food can stimulate your appetite and cue you to eat when you didn’t plan to, he says. By hiding food in plain sight, you won’t be constantly tempted every time you open the refrigerator.

Exercise daily. Throughout the holiday season, squeeze in exercise every day, even if means just putting in a 20-minute yoga DVD after the kids have gone to bed.

Working out quells your stress level, boosts metabolism and provides a feeling of wellbeing that can fuel your resolve to eat healthy. “When you exercise consistently, you’re less likely to say, ‘Oh, forget about it.

I’m just going to pig-out tonight,’” Spangle says.

Stash leftovers out of sight.

Sandra Gordon is an award-winning freelance writer who delivers expert advice and the latest developments in health, nutrition, parenting and consumer issues.

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bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 13

Egg Freezing

Can it stop the biological clock?

By Mairi Campbell

recent study in the medical journal Lancet suggests that all of women having a first birth in Canada is 30 years of age and 24% women in their 20’s or 30’s should have the chance to freeze of all births are to women over 35. their egg should they want to conceive later in life. Olive Not only does the quantity of eggs decline as a woman ages but Fertility Centre has been seeing a growing number of younger the quality declines as well. Poor egg quality leads to a higher rate women—some who already have one child—who want to freeze of infertility, more frequent miscarriages, and a greater risk of chrotheir eggs with the hope that they could use mosomal disorders in the offspring them in the future. A few years ago this option “I see women in their late 30’s and early wouldn’t have been available as eggs usually 40’s who exercise, eat well and look young for The fact is that didn’t survive the thawing process. their age and they can’t understand why they 40 is not the new 30 According to Dr Gary Nakhuda, a fertility are having trouble getting pregnant,” says Dr when it comes specialist at Olive Fertility, a new technique Nakhuda. “The fact is that 40 is not the new to fertility. called vitrification has changed everything 30 when it comes to fertility. Your eggs are “With vitrification the eggs are frozen so exactly as old as you are. This is why Olive crequickly that damaging ice crystals don’t get a ated a video explaining egg freezing. We want chance to form. This makes them much more likely to survive women to know that there is now an option for them if they want thawing at a later date.” to preserve their fertility for a later time.”

A 2012 Stats Canada study shows that infertility rates in Canada There are two common scenarios where fertility preservation have almost doubled in the last two decades. This is, in part, due to with egg freezing can be considered. the fact that women are starting their families later. The average age The first is women suffering from cancer or some other disease

A

14 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

where their treatment might lead to them becoming infertile because of chemotherapy or surgery. For these patients freezing their eggs before they have treatment gives them a chance at having a child after they have overcome their disease.

The second tends to be women in their late 20’s or early to mid 30’s who know that they want to have children somewhere down the line, but may not have a partner and aren’t at a point in their lives where they are ready to have a child. These are often educated career women who are aware of their biological clock and want to be proactive about preserving their fertility.

“Egg freezing should not be considered a sure thing,” cautions Dr Nakhuda. “Unfortunately, even freezing numerous eggs cannot guarantee that a healthy pregnancy will always be possible.

However, recent evidence suggests the success of egg freezing is now on par with traditional IVF, and is especially favourable in women under 37.”

The process begins in exactly the same way as traditional IVF, which involves injecting medications that stimulate egg development to the point they can be harvested. However, instead of fertilizing the eggs with sperm, they are frozen unfertilized and stored until a woman is ready to conceive sometime in the future. At that point, the eggs are thawed and fertilized to hopefully result in viable embryos that can then be transferred into the uterus.

While egg freezing does not offer any guarantees it may provide women with some peace of mind in delaying childbearing without feeling overwhelmed by the ticking of their biological clock.

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bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 15

independent school listings

Student Gender

Grades

Class size

Enrollment Day/Boarding/Total

Bodwell High School and Bodwell Academy 955 Harbourside Drive, North Vancouver, BC 604-924-5056; www.bodwell.edu/highschool/

co-ed

8–12

17

200 / 160 / 360

Brockton School 3467 Duval Rd., North Vancouver, BC 604-929-9201; www.brocktonschool.com

co-ed

K–12

20

150

14,140–15,685

Brentwood College School 2735 Mt. Baker Road, Mill Bay, BC 250-743-5521; www.brentwood.bc.ca

co-ed

9–12

17

76 / 392 / 468

22,500 (day) 42,000 (boarding)

Children’s Hearing & Speech Centre of BC 3575 Kaslo St., Vancouver, BC 604-437-0255; www.childrenshearing.ca

co-ed

PS–2

6–8

28

rate varies per program

Choice School 20451 Westminster Hwy, Richmond, BC www.choiceschool.org

co-ed

K–7

16

n/a

12,995

Collingwood School 70 Morven Drive, West Vancouver, BC 604-925-3331; www.collingwood.org

co-ed

JK–12

15–20

1265

9,000–22,000

Core Education & Fine Arts (cefa) Abbotsford, Burnaby (2 locations), Langley, New Westminster, North Vancouver, Richmond, Vancouver, West Vancouver, White Rock 604-708-2332; www.cefa.ca

co-ed

JK & cefababy

12–16

8–20

8,340–18,720

girls

JK–12

18–20

850

18,360

PS–7

15

127

7,300–8,750

School Name

Crofton House 3200 West 41st Ave., Vancouver, BC 604-263-3255; www.croftonhouse.ca

The French International Cousteau School of Vancouver co-ed 3637 Fromme Rd., North Vancouver, BC 604-924-2457; www.cousteauschool.org

16 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

Cost per Year 8,200 (local) 11,200 (international)

independent school listings Student Gender

Grades

Class size

Enrollment Day/Boarding/Total

Cost per Year

Fraser Academy 2294 W. 10th Ave., Vancouver BC 604-736-5575; www.fraser-academy.bc.ca

co-ed

1–12

Max. 10

220

27,250

Fraser Valley Elementary School 20317 67 Ave., Langley, BC 604-533-5469; www.fves.bc.ca

co-ed

K–1

18

48

approx 23,980 (tax receipts issued)

Kenneth Gordon Maplewood School 420 Seymour River Place, North Vancouver, BC 604 985-5224; www.kgms.ca

co-ed

1–11

15–18

170

20,950

Le Conseil Solaire Francophone de la C-B co-ed (SD No. 93, publicly funded French-language program) 180-10200 Shellbridge Way, Richmond, BC; www.csf.bc.ca

K–12

Varies

n/a

n/a

School Name

Madrona School Society #215 2678 Broadway St. W Vancouver, BC 604-499-7303; www.madronaschool.com

co-ed

1–7

4–14

54

16,000

Marpole Bilingual Montessori School 1296 West 67th Ave, Vancouver, BC 604-266-1091:www.marpolebilingualmontessori.com

co-ed

PS–K

20

80

n/a

Meadow Montessori Elementary & Preschool 11391 Dartford Street Maple Ridge, BC 604-465-3492; www.meadowmontessori.ca

co-ed

PS–6

20

39

2,550–5,500

Meadowridge School 12224 - 240th Street, Maple Ridge, BC 604-467-4444; www.meadowridge.bc.ca

co-ed

JK–12

20

528

17,500

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We educate girls for life

croftonhouse.ca/welcome bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 17

independent school listings

쐍 procedure is the happiness of the child.”

“One test of the correctness of educational – DR. M. MONTESSORI

Offering Lower and Upper Elementary classes

www.westsidemontessoriacademy.ca 3075 Slocan Street, Vancouver

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Depuis sa création en 1995, le Conseil scolaire francophone de la ColombieBritannique offre des programmes et des services éducatifs valorisant le plein épanouissement et l’identité culturelle des apprenantes et apprenants francophones de la province. Le conseil compte aujourd’hui plus de 4 700 élèves, 37 écoles publiques et dessert plus d’une centaine de communautés réparties dans l’ensemble de la province.

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18 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

programme d’enseignement public de la maternelle à la 12e année; ▪ haut niveau de réussite scolaire; services à la petite enfance; ▪ portables pour tous; service de transport scolaire; programme d’anglais de qualité; ▪ programmes de musique, théâtre.

independent school listings Student Gender

Grades

Class size

Enrollment Day/Boarding/Total

Cost per Year

Mulgrave School 2330 Cypress Bowl Lane, West Vancouver, BC 604-922-3223; www.mulgrave.com

co-ed

PreK–12

20

840

5,000–16,300

North Star Montessori 1325 East Keith Road, North Vancouver, BC 604-980-1205 www.northstarmontessori.ca

co-ed

PS–7

varies

80

n/a

Pacific Rim Montessori Academy Vancouver, Richmond BC 604-726-8428; www.pacificrimmontessori.com

co-ed

PS–7

20

n/a

4,250–7,000

Pacific Spirit School 4196 W. 4th Ave., Vancouver, BC 604-222-1900; www.pacificspiritschool.org

co-ed

K–8

14

n/a

6,000

Richmond Jewish Day School 8760 No. 5 Rd., Richmond, BC 604-275-3393; www.rjds.ca

co-ed

K–7

15–20

80

Contact us for cost

St. George’s School 4175 West 29th Ave., Vancouver, BC 604-221-3890 www.stgeorges.bc.ca

boys

1–12

20

St. John’s School 2215 W. 10th Ave, Vancouver, BC V6K 2J1 604-732-4434 / 604-629-2458 www.stjohns.bc.ca

co-ed

JK–12

14–22

School Name

1040 / 120 / 1160

18,995 (BC: Day-Junior) 21,355 (BC: Day-Senior) 43,000 (BC: Boarding) 55,500 (Intl.: Boarding)

554

14,950–19,775

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bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 19

independent school listings Grades

Class size

Enrollment Day/Boarding/Total

co-ed

10–12 with ESL program

15

100

13,500–14,400 (3 terms)

girls

ECE–12

15

237 / 103 / 340

Please contact Admissions Office

co-ed

K–12 (day) 8–12 (boarding) 8–10 (ESL)

18

680 / 238 / 918

15,939–19,790 (day) 43,630 (BC: boarding)

co-ed

K–9

N/A

1500

No charge

Shawnigan Lake School 1975 Renfrew Rd., Shawnigan Lake, BC 250-743-5516; www.shawnigan.ca

co-ed

8–12

15

58 / 387 / 445

18,800 (day) 34,900 (boarding) (BC Students)

Southpointe Academy 1741 - 56th Street, Tsawwassen, BC 604-948-8826; www.southpointeacademy.ca

co-ed

PS–12

15–20

460

7,000–9,900

Stratford Hall 3000 Commercial Drive, Vancouver, BC 604-436-0608; www.stratfordhall.ca

co-ed

K–12

16–22

490

15,225–17,900

Traditional Learning Academy 1189 Rochester Ave., Coquitlam, BC 604-931-7265: www.traditionallearning.com

co-ed

K–12

14

176

1,750–3,350

Urban Academy 101 Third Street, New Westminster, BC 604-524-2211; www.urbanacademy.ca

co-ed

JK–12

10–18

140

6,680–12,997 varies by grade

Vancouver College 5400 Cartier Street, Vancouver, BC 604-261-4285; www.vc.bc.ca

boys

K–12

20–32

1,065

6,300

Vancouver Montessori School 8650 Barnard Street, Vancouver, BC 604-261-0315; www.vancouvermontessorischool.com

co-ed

PS–7

20

225

5,500–8,500

Vancouver Hebrew Academy 1545 W. 62nd Ave, Vancouver, BC 604-266-1245; www.vhebrewacademy.com

co ed

PS–7

12

School Name St. John’s International School 300 - 1885 W. Broadway, Vancouver, BC 604-683-4572; www.stjohnsis.com St. Margaret’s School 1080 Lucas Ave., Victoria, BC 250-479-7171; www.stmarg.ca St. Michaels University School 3400 Richmond Road, Victoria, BC 250-370-6170 www.smus.bc.ca SelfDesign Learning Community School District 008-Kootenay Lake PO Box 74560, Kitsilano RPO, Vancouver, BC 604-224-3663; www.selfdesign.org

Student Gender

Cost per Year

5,000 (Preschool) 10,200 (K–7)

Visit www.bcparent.ca Read our new blogs… catch up on past issues… enter our contests and find out about great family events in the Lower Mainland.

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20 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

independent school listings Student Gender

Grades

Class size

Enrollment Day/Boarding/Total

Vancouver Talmud Torah 998 West 26th Ave., Vancouver, BC 604-736-7307; www.talmudtorah.com

co-ed

PS–7

18–22

485

8,000–10,000 (subsidies available)

Vancouver Waldorf School 2725 St. Christophers Road, N. Vancouver, BC 604-985-7435; www.vws.ca

co-ed

PS–12

20–30

300

3,420–11,670 (subsidies available)

West Point Grey Academy 4125 West 8th Avenue Vancouver, BC 604-222-8750; www.wpga.ca

co-ed

JK–12

22

940

13,000–18,400

Westside Montessori Academy 3075 Slocan St., Vancouver, BC 604-434-9611 www.westsidemontessoriacademy.ca

co-ed

PS–4

16 (elem) 25 (pre)

85

4,750 (preschool) 8,650 (grades 1–4)

Westside Montessori School (WMS) 4157 Oak Street, Vancouver, BC V6H 2N1 604-731-6594 www.westsidemontessori.ca

co-ed

PS–K

20

80

6,000 (preschool) 7,500 (kindergarten) 13,500 (extended day kindergarten)

girls

JK–12

16–20

656

18,200–18,900

School Name

York House School 4176 Alexandra St., Vancouver, BC 3274 East Boulevard, Vancouver, BC 604-736-6551 www.yorkhouse.ca

Cost per Year

Note: Information provided is accurate at time of printing. Categories such as class size and cost are in many cases averages. Contact each school to confirm information.

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bcparent.ca • education issue 2014 21

Raising Good Decision-Makers

Smart Kids, Smart Choices

By Malia Jacobson

elping kids learn to make good choices is a powerful way to foster future success. We beam with parental pride when our toddler chooses to share a toy, or when our teen swaps candy for fruit.

But how can we help raise kids who make good choices when we’re not around? All kids make questionable decisions from time to time, says family therapist Michelle P. Maidenberg, PhD, president of Westchester Group Works in Harrison, New York. But parents can help set kids on the path toward making better choices, for life. Read on for age-by-age strategies for supporting strong decision-making skills, from toddlerhood through the teen years.

H

discuss the impact of daily decisions with your child. When something doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped, talk through what you might have done differently in ageappropriate language; for example, “Mommy decided to sleep later this morning, and now I’m sad because I missed my daily run.”

Teen Years 13–18: Fear factor

The key is letting kids experience minor falls— and figure out how to get back up.

Elementary Years 6–12: Failing Up Toddler/Preschool 2–5: Message Magic

Beware constantly warning your tot to be careful or swooping in to hurriedly complete a task he’s trying to accomplish himself.

Parents should tune into subliminal messages they may be sending to their child, says Maidenberg. “By always cautioning against risk or doing things on his behalf, you may be communicating that he isn’t capable or trustworthy and can’t make good decisions independently.” Parents also send important messages through their own actions.

Model effective problem-solving skills and sound decision making in your own life to impart these skills to kids. If you tend to procrastinate, flip flop between choices, or wallow in disorganization, your child may follow suit. Make a habit of sticking to your plans and seeing your choices through, and

Sophia didn’t go hungry; she decided to ask her classmates if they had anything they could share. “One shared his apple slices and another had an extra granola bar. She was so proud she was able to find a solution all by herself,” says Gates. “And she never forgot her lunch again.”

During the school years, decision-making prowess starts to show—and sometimes, so do poor choices. But these small failures can actually help build stronger decision making skills down the road. The key is letting kids experience minor falls—and figure out how to get back up.

Radio personality Julie Gates of the Gene and Julie Show on Raleigh’s WRALFM learned that 9-year-old Sophia’s small mistakes could actually build decision-making power. “When Sophia was 6, she accidentally left her lunch in the refrigerator, and my first instinct was to jump in the car and shuttle it to school.” Then Gates remembered Sophia’s teacher telling her that a small mishap like a forgotten lunch can present an opportunity to build decision-making skills, confidence, and pride.

22 bcparent.ca • education issue 2014

Juggling college applications, summer jobs, and relationships brings on a boatload of decisions for teens, along with a possible fear of failure. A teen who procrastinates and seems to avoid big decision may be afraid to fail. If your teen seems to drag her feet with decisions, talk to her about her fears, says Maidenberg. Encourage more independent decision making by addressing fear-flooded beliefs like “I won’t be able to do it”, “I won’t be good at it”, or “They won’t like me.”

Help your teen see past fears by reminding her all that she’s capable of achieving when she sets her mind to something.

Don’t feed counterproductive fears by belittling a teen for a poor choice. Saying “You’re a moron!” or “What’s wrong with you?” communicates shame and hurts selfconfidence, while phrases like “Everyone makes a bad choice now and then. What can you do differently next time?” motivates better choices, both now and in the years to come.

Malia Jacobson is an award-winning health and parenting journalist and mom of three. Her latest book is Sleep Tight, Every Night: Helping Toddlers and Preschoolers Sleep Well Without Tears, Tricks, or Tirades.

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