BC Parent Holiday Issue

holiday issue 2012 www.bcparent.ca

More holidays for less money

A Sheway story

winter activity guide

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A holiday prize pack valued at $100 that will include some of the great new President’s Choice Holiday treats and goodies, PC Home items, and gift cards to help you stock up for the holiday season. Here are a few items included in the pack: • President’s Choice Banana Crème Dulce De Leche Dessert Cookies • President’s Choice Candy Cane Squares • President’s Choice Black Label Bacon Marmalade

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inside ...

4 Grace & Flexibility For a peaceful holiday season

6 More Holiday For less money

8 Top 5 Herbs for Health Medical herbalism

10 Winter Activity Guide 15 Best Mom Ever Ski Instructor

16 The Four Pillars Of good sleep

18 Dandelion Wishes Coping with illness

20 Sheway Help for mothers on the downtown eastside

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BC Parent Newsmagazine

Publisher/Executive Editor: Forrest Phillips

Contributors: Lela Davidson, Gayla Grace, Dr. Tom Jackson, Janny J Johnson, Marissa Marciano, Carole Sooke

Mail Address: Sasamat RPO 72086 Vancouver, BC V6R 4P2

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BC Parent is published 8 times per year.

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Editor: Geoffrey Legh Advertising Design & Layout: Julie Cochrane Editorial Design & Layout: RetroMetro Designs www3.telus.net/retrometro

Holiday Issue 2012 Volume 21, Number 7

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 3

Offer gifts of grace and flexibility for a peaceful holiday season.

By Gayla Grace When I learned my husband’s job was ending, I knew I needed to display extra grace and a flexible spirit.

“

T

he news isn’t good. The factory will close in less than 90 days and my job will end. I’m sorry.” My husband’s unexpected words brought tears to my eyes as we began the holiday season last year. As plant manager of a manufacturing company hit hard by the declining housing industry, we knew his job was in jeopardy. But we weren’t prepared for the finality of closure. It was the beginning of a difficult season that carried over into the new year and beyond.

So, how do you create a peaceful holiday season when you can’t control downward-spiraling circumstances? How do you find peace in the midst of turmoil? How do you get along with those around you when it seems your world is crumbling?

May I suggest two important attributes? Grace and flexibility. As a mom to five children, I’ve endured too many non-peaceful holiday seasons. Days that were full of out-of-control emotions, hectic schedules, non-cooperative kids, and a host of other stressors. After a particularly difficult year, I evaluated the details of the season and determined what could be done for more peaceful days the next year. The missing ingredients? Ample doses of grace and flexibility.

4 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

Heather Hetchler, mom/stepmom to six children agrees. She says, “While most gifts end up in a landfill, grace and flexibility help create cherished memories that will forever live in the hearts of those who receive these precious gifts.”

When I learned my husband’s job was ending, I knew I needed to display extra grace and a flexible spirit as we explored new opportunities for him. It wasn’t easy for my always-have-a-plan character to not know what was around the corner, but I sought to accept uncertainty and change as part of the journey we were on. I learned to recognize when the jobhunting seemed tedious and discouraging for my husband, and he needed an extra dose of grace.

Through the holiday season, we have ample opportunity to offer grace and flexibility to our children, our spouse, and others we come in contact with. If you live in a stepfamily, it’s likely you’ll have more contact with ex-spouses and ex-in-laws, creating tension-filled moments and stress-filled days.

But if we choose to offer grace at hurtful words and a flexible spirit when a stubborn demeanor shows up, we’re more likely to find peace.

Many families have other unique challenges that

emerge during the holidays. Addiction seeps into some homes, creating havoc and dissension. Mental illness rears its ugly head during periods of stress, resulting in confusion and uncertainty. The loss of a loved one creates a sad reminder that holidays will never be the same. Grace is the perfect answer when irritability, sadness, or frustration set in.

Flexibility becomes a necessary part of unwrapping holiday peace when schedules change or the unexpected happens. Illness, job loss, marital disharmony.

Unexpected events like these create heartache that can disrupt the possibility of enjoying holiday peace.

Flexibility becomes the key to creating a peace-filled moment amidst stressed-out emotions.

Jan Gull, stepmom to three, says she incorporates flexibility during the holiday season with “more being, less doing.” She works to maintain a schedule that allows time to create memories as a family through baking cookies together and making gifts for others instead of spinning the web of excessive spending and gift-giving.

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After my husband’s job loss, we were thankful for another job opportunity without a long unemployment period, but it required re-locating to another state. Leaving three children behind in college, we reluctantly moved four hours away and began a new life. It has been a difficult transition, but maintaining a flexible spirit has helped us adjust to our new home.

The holiday season often includes new surroundings with complicated variables. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress or busyness of the season and act out in anger or frustration. But we can intentionally choose to make different choices that allow for a more peaceful season.

Grace and flexibility are not always easy to offer, but can be priceless gifts when extended during stressful periods. Will you choose grace and flexibility as part of your gift-giving this season?

Gayla Grace is a freelance writer, and a wife and mom to five children in her blended family. She seeks to offer grace and flexibility to those around her as often as possible. gayla.grace@yahoo.com

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Grace and flexibility are not always easy to offer, but can be priceless gifts when extended during stressful periods.

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T More holidays for less money 10 ways to save on holiday fun

by Sharon Nolfi, M.A.

he holidays are approaching in a year when many families are strapped for cash. Yet everyone wants a holiday season filled with special food, decorations, parties, and gifts. You’re bound to spend more than usual during the holidays, but you can control the amount. Consider these moneysaving tips for a fun, but frugal, holiday.

1. Share Baking Chores And Expenses

Holiday baking often requires the purchase of many seldom used, expensive ingredients if you want to end up with a variety of sweets. Avoid purchasing them all by organizing a baking exchange. Each participant agrees to prepare several batches of just one baked treat. Bakers then meet to exchange sweets so that each person goes home with several varieties.

People like to gather to celebrate the holidays, and most gatherings include food and drink. Many people would love to get together but can’t afford the entire bill for a party. Share the expense and the fun by organizing a party where each family is assigned a particular item to bring.

Plan the menu ahead and make each contribution roughly equal in cost so you’ll end up with everything needed for the party.

2. Organize Potlucks

3. Exchange Baby-Sitting Shopping with children in tow is slow, frustrating, and potentially expensive if you make purchases just to gain the children’s cooperation. In addition, shopping can only add to your children’s lists of things they want! Offer to baby-

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All Children should Have a Complete Eye Exam by Age 3

sit for a friend so she can shop more quickly and efficiently, then let her return the favor.

4. Shop Resale The world of previously owned items includes both new and used merchandize, all available at a deep discount.

Sources range from Goodwill and other thrift shops, to ebay and craigslist online.

Even gift cards can be purchased online for less than face value. Choose thrift shops in wealthier neighborhoods, because donations are often local.

obtain elsewhere. Besides the usual discount stores, try shops not usually associated with gift buying—office supply and hardware stores, nurseries, kitchen supply outlets.

Wherever you decide to shop, save time and money by thinking about what to buy before you shop. Use a list and stick to it unless some amazing bargain presents itself.

7. Shop With A Plan

Gasoline is expensive and your time is valuable. Group purchases together so you can take advantage of free shipping offers offered with minimum purchases.

8. Give Homemade Presents The most traditional are baked goods and handcrafted items, but consider more creative gifts. If you have a special skill, like sewing, gardening or cooking, give your services. Promise to alter clothes, plant a flower garden, or prepare meals for a busy family.

Shopping malls have displays of tantalizing items for a reason, and the reason is to get you to make impulse purchases. Malls are also time-wasters with prices generally higher than those you can

9. Decorate and Wrap For Less Children of all ages like to make decorations that are usually cheaper than store-bought. Save and reuse wrapping paper and ribbon from year to year—it’s better for the environment as

5. Shop Online

6. Avoid Malls

well as your budget. Try fabric and yarn scraps as gift coverings, or let the wrappings be part of the gifts. An inexpensive kitchen, bath or personal item becomes a more generous gift when wrapped in a colorful towel or scarf. If you must buy ready-made wrappings, buy them at after-Christmas sales.

10. Shop and Stockpile All Year The best time to purchase gifts and holiday items is between December 26 and November 30.

Take advantage of sales as they occur, and avoid spending too much at the last minute.

Consider re-gifting presents you receive that don’t suit your style. One of these items may make a perfect gift for someone else.

Your family can enjoy abundance during the holidays at very little cost. Try the suggestions above to make it happen. Save money and concentrate on the joy of spending time with loved ones. That is truly the best gift of the season. Happy Holidays!

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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 7

Top Five Herbs for Health

By Marissa Marciano

You’re alive!

I’m alive! Plants are alive, and it’s through our shared evolutionary heritage with the plant kingdom that herbal remedies do their work.

L

et it be known that “herbs” refer to more than a sprinkling of dill or oregano as a last touch to a homemade meal. Medical herbalism includes any and all plant materials like roots, bark, flowers, resin, leaves, fruits etc. As a Naturopath, I’ve had the chance to learn about and choose from a whole assortment of awesome therapeutic techniques, and for me, plant-based medicine is quite simply, top shelf.

My reasons are many. First, from a completely superficial standpoint it’s because they’re just so darn pretty! Have you seen a passionflower lately? It’s basically love at first sight.

Secondly, you’re alive, I’m alive, plants are alive, and it’s through our shared evolutionary heritage with the plant kingdom that herbal remedies do their work.

We forget that plant based medicines were the exclusive form of medicine for the majority of our time on this planet. It’s only the past hundred years or so that the pharmaceutical industry swooped in to give things a try. And while drug’s impressive brawn and vigor have done us a world of good (and yes, some bad) we sort of wound up putting all of our eggs into the drugstore basket. Neglecting, suppressing, and even ridiculing our once rich herbal past.

The difference between the etched image of an old gap-toothed mentally disturbed village herbalist vs. a modern physician’s white lab coat, sterilized & stethoscope’d, could not be more glaring.

Indigenous healers were extraordinary empirical observers who believed that the earth was alive, and analyzed Mother Nature’s gifts with reverence. The

8 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

plant world once cultivated an attentiveness of mind where we understood that we were all made up of the same sacred “stuff ” of the universe. A time when people bonded with Nature as much as they currently bond with their pets.

So to bring a little bit of that love back to the world of plants, here are my top five favourite herbs that you can start using today, most of which can be grown, prepared, and enjoyed from home. They are gentle and effective medicinal therapies that benefit our bodies in an endless number of ways. Note that though there are are no magic bullets here, there is, no doubt, magic.

Chamomile (Matricaria recutita)

One of the daintiest and tastiest of the bunch, chamomile is a mild nervous system sedative and powerful anti-inflammatory. It’s high volatile oil & flavonoid content make it the perfect way to end a busy day, especially if you tend to feel your tension in your tummy. It’s especially good at healing conditions involving the digestive tract, where it soothes the gut lining and relaxes the nerves in both brain and bowels. Indigestion, anxiety, and the infamous “Irritable Bowel Syndrome” will benefit from its tender loving care.

Milky oat seed tops (Avena sativa)

If I had to pick a favourite, Avena might be the one.

It’s a nervous system tonic, nutritive in cases of debility from anxiety and fatigue. Avena “feeds” the nerv-

ous system especially in times of stress. And besides strengthening our emotional lives, high levels of silicic acid in the straw make it a great remedy for skin conditions. Skin health is intimately connected to how we perceive & communicate with our world. Dry, itchy, irritated skin, eczema, and psoriasis are all examples of skin conditions made worse with stress, and Avena helps heal our wounds—physical & emotional.

formic acid to cause an itchy, red pustule-like rash to erupt wherever it makes contact with the skin. Harvested however, it’s just another harmless leafy green, full of vitamins (like C), minerals (like iron), and a whole slew of other health-ful stuff. It’s regular use helps prevent inflammation & allergies, and will detoxify the body as a whole by promoting the elimination of wastes through our lymph system and other excretory systems (eg. bladder, bowels, skin).

Mini Quiz:

Passionflower (Passiflora incarnata)

3. What kind of herbal tea would be helpful when getting over a cold?

Licorice Root (Glycyrrhiza glabra)

Licorice is one of a group of herbs that affect our endocrine (or hormonal) system, and particularly those hormones involved in the physiology of stress. In herbal medicine we call these Adaptogens, and there’s really no man-made drug quite like them. The plant steroids present in licorice mimic the molecular shape of our own endogenous steroid cortisol, and will modulate its effects whether we’re producing too much, or not enough. As a tea it’s also awesome for expelling mucous when germ-ridden and full of phlegm.

Stinging Nettle or Nettle Leaf (Urtica diocia)

We’re normally conditioned to avoid stinging nettle at all costs. Young, growing leaves contain enough

Long ago, the beautiful, intricate flower of this hypnotizing plant (which is, in fact, a hypnotic sleep aid) came to symbolize the “Passion of the Christ”—hence, its name. Used medicinally, passionflower relieves anxiety, and is used to promote a deeper and more restful sleep. It’s also a potent antispasmodic, useful in cramping (like menstrual & muscular) and will ease pain and promote relaxation throughout the body.

1. Which of these five herbs could you use to alleviate cramping?

2. Which herb helps prevent inflammation & allergies when taken regularly?

4. What kind of tea would you brew after a hectic day?

5. Which of these plants can sooth irritated skin—and feelings—alike?

Remember that “Nature’s harmony” itself is medicine, and rekindling our connection to the plant world imparts not just physical healing, but improves our mental, emotional, and spiritual health also.

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Depuis sa création en 1995, le Conseil scolaire francophone de la ColombieBritannique offre des programmes et des services éducatifs valorisant le plein épanouissement et l’identité culturelle des apprenantes et apprenants francophones de la province. Le conseil compte aujourd’hui plus de 4 700 élèves, 37 écoles publiques et dessert plus d’une centaine de communautés réparties dans l’ensemble de la province.

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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 9

winter activity guide academic Academic Advantage Tutoring 604/439-1790 www.schooliseasy.com Canada’s Best Independent Schools—Our Kids Go To School www.ourkids.net

PD Plus Tutoring Service 604/421-6101 www.pdplustutors.com The Reading Foundation 604/222-2254 www.readingfoundation.com

Googol Learning 604/720-9377 www.googolpower.com

Silbury Education and Resource Centre 604/261-4696 www.silbury.ca Full and part time education for gifted and creative learners K–8.

Ho Math and Chess Learning Centre 604/263-4321 www.mathandchess.com

Sylvan Learning 800/EDUCATE www.educate.com

Language Tutors 604/338-9598 www.languagedesigns.ca

TOC Education Resources 604/603-7017 www.toceducationresources.com Chinese language and culture program for 3 years to adult.

Mathletics 1-877/467-6851 www.mathletics.ca Mathletics is the global benchmark for helping students to achieve outstanding results in math. Teachers and parents use Mathletics to create personal learning pathways for their students/ children. With provincially aligned curriculum and tons of resources, Mathletics is engaging for students and assists teachers/parents to monitor student progress.

Mimic Baby Sign Language www.mimicbaby.com MPM Math 604/266-6762 www.mpmmath.com

The Whole Dyslexic Society 604/921-1084 www.dyslexiacanada.com

dance A-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, Vancouver www.astarstudio.com Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy 604/671-9182, Vancouver www.mozaicoflamenco.com Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts 604/926-6535, West Vancouver

10 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

AUUC School of Dance 604/254-3436 danceschool@auucvancouver.ca www.auucvancouver.ca Experience for yourself the joy and artistry of Ukrainian dance! Quality folk and ballet instruction for 3 to 15 year olds. 85 years of arts programs reflecting a modern multicultural experience. Call or email us for more info.

The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com The BrightStars Program 604/662-8554, Vancouver www.brightstars.ca Vancouver’s only professional Performing Arts program for young children ages 1–13. Dance, sing and act to the melody of life. Classes run year round.

Dance Co 604/736-3394, Vancouver www.danceco.com info@danceco.com Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training for all ages and levels.

Providing technique and performance while developing confidence and creativity. Programs start throughout the year, for more information visit our website: danceco.com Dance Expressions 604/574-2277, Surrey www.dancexp.com

Douglas Ballet Academy 604/420-0204, Vancouver www.douglasballet.homestead.com Academy of International Dance Arts 604/327-9313 www.academyofinternationaldance arts.com Gabriela’s Movement Studio 604/272-0607 www.movementstudio.ca gabriela@movementstudio.ca Goh Ballet Academy 604/872-4014 info@gohballet.com; www.gohballet.com Training institute of provincial champions in the Junior, Intermediate & Senior levels as well as International Gold Medal Award Recipients. Well balanced curriculum, RAD examinations & extensive performance opportunities. hz Ballet Classique 604/299-9698, Burnaby www.balletclassique.com Just for Kicks School of Dance 604/596-4161, Surrey North Shore Academy of Dance 604/987-3814 Northwest Academy of Performing Arts 604/306-7390 www.NAPAdance.com Pacific Dance Arts 604/738-8575 www.pacificdancearts.ca

Place des Arts Centre & Music Shool 604/664-1636, Coquitlam www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides high quality arts education for all ages and abilities. Over 40 music teachers offer private lessons in a wide range of instruments.

Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual and literary art run fall, winter and spring. www.placedesarts.ca Port Moody School of Dance 604/936-0966 www.portmoodydance.com Spotlight Dance Centre 604/299-6111, Vancouver Surrey Dance Centre 604/599-9961 www.surreydancecentre.com The Landing Dance Centre 604/325-8653 www.thelandingdance.com The Landing Dance Centre is a vibrant facility focused on establishing and fostering a love for dance.

It is the perfect place to introduce young ones to dance, take their training to the next level, or just have fun!

Tri-City Dance Centre 604/523-6868, Coquitlam www.tricitydance.com Unhinge Dance 778/833-3914 www.unhingedance.ca unhingedance@hotmail.com Vancouver Tap Dance Society 604/253-0293 www.vantapdance.bc.ca Vancouver Academy of Dance 604/231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com Vancouver Academy of Dance offers summer dance camps in ballet, jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics, ballroom and Chinese Dance at their main location in Richmond.

Westside Dance Centre Ltd 604/736-1000 www.westsidedance.ca We offer great classes in Tap, Jazz, Ballet and Hip hop for kids as young as 3 years old, right up to adults.

specialty Bricks 4 Kidz 778/822-5672 www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouver Bricks 4 Kidz® provides programs that inspire kids to learn about architecture, engineering and design concepts while having fun building with LEGO® bricks. Ages 5–12.

Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art 604/733-1356 www.chistiannehayward.com The Lyceum encourages young people to see themselves as readers, writers and artists as they engage with abstract ideas and reflect on their own place in society. Programs include: bookclubs, writers’ workshops, literature and art classes and holiday and summer camps.

The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classes for Kids 778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com

Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen 604/727-5331 www.kimikoskitchen.com Vancouver Aquarium 604/659-FISH www.visitvanaqua.org From the Arctic to the Amazon, 135,000 amazing creatures await you at the Vancouver Aquarium, including Beluga whales, Sea otters, sharks and dolphins. Visit our brand new interactive ‘Canada’s Arctic’ gallery exploring climate change in the north, and immerse your senses in Western Canada’s only 4-D Experience theatre. Plus, get a personal experience with your favourite animals in our Animal Encounters program.

Viva Voce Speech Arts Studio 778/323-2448 www.vivavocespeech.com Viva Voce’s highly personalized program builds your child’s confidence in speaking and presenting through one-to-one Speech Arts Classes. Children and teens discover the joy of using their voices and engaging an audience. Ages 5–18, West Vancouver.

music Allegro Music School Inc. 604/327-7765, Vancouver Arbutus Music Academy 604/736-8767 www.arbutusmusicacademy.com The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca BC Conservatory of Music 604/299-2984 Burnaby www.bcmusic.ca BC Registered Music Teachers Assn.

604/733-5531 The BrightStars Program 604/662-8554, Vancouver www.brightstars.ca Learning life long skills through the study of dance styles, music and movement.

Classes range from 2 to 5 yrs.

Campos Music 604/325-0480 Carillon Music 604/591-1161 www.carillonmusic.com Clavimusic Piano Studios 778/881-0329 www.clavimusic.com

3

Aligned To Provincial K-12 Curriculum 3 Mathletics is a proven, resultsbased resource 3 Used by teachers and parents world-wide 3 Keep track of your child’s development with a dedicated Parent Centre • Monitor the learning process of your child • Depending on child’s ability, move grade level up or down 6 times per year • Receive weekly progress reports • Award your child with readymade certificates 3 Self-directed learning that is fun and engaging 3 Improves confidence in children

TAP JAZZ BALLET Hip Hop 3673 W. 4th Ave 쐍 604-736-1000

www.westsidedance.ca bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 11

winter activity guide Colourstrings Music Studio 604/730-5418, Vancouver www.colourstringsvan.com Delta Community Music School 604/946-1280, Delta Dominanta Music School 604/767-0949, Burnaby www.dominanta.ca Quality private lessons with experienced instructors for all levels and ages: piano, guitar, violin, flute, voice and more! RCM preparation, preschool music (group), special programs throughout the year.

Douglas College Community Music School 604/527-5469 www.douglascollege.ca/cms We have been providing music training to New Westminster and surrounding communities since 1984. We offer programs for babies, children, youths, and adults. Children’s programs include Suzuki Strings and Piano, Kodaly / Orff and Kid’s Theory classes, Kindermusik classes, private and group lessons on most instruments, and Summer Camps for all ages.

Jean Lyons School of Music 604/734-4019 www.jeanlyonsmusic.com Jumpstart Music & Movement 604/777-7179 www.jumpstartmusicandmovement.com Langley Community Music School 604/534-2848 www.langleymusic.com A non-profit organization committed to providing the highest quality of music education to people of all ages.

Long & McQuade Music Education Centres Vancouver 604/682-5215 North Vancouver 604/986-3118 Langley 604/532-8806 Surrey 604/588-9423 Port Coquitlam 604/464-1118 www. long-mcquade.com Long & McQuade’s Lesson Centres – comfortable studios, qualified instructors, low rates, no registration fees, and lessons for every age, level and style.

Guitar, piano, bass, drums, brass, woodwinds, orchestral strings & voice.

Visit long-mcquade.com for the Lower Mainland location near you.

Music for Young Children 800/828-4334 www.myc.com Music for Young Children provides a comprehensive music program that integrates keyboard, singing, ear training, sight reading, creative movement, rhythm, music theory and music composition for children age 3–11.

Music Teachers on the Go 778/882-7603 info@musicteachersonthego.com www.musicteachersonthego.com

North Shore Music Academy 604/925-3403, North Vancouver Noteworthy Music 604/270-3620, Richmond O Music Studios 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com Oakridge Music Studio 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com Pacific Academy for Music 604/944-0336, Port Coquitlam www.musicinstructor.net Pacific Piano Studio 604/329-7290 Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides high quality arts education for all ages and abilities.

Over 40 music teachers offer private lessons in a wide range of instruments.

Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual and literary art run fall, winter and spring.

Explore, express, create, be great! Place des Arts offers high quality programs in music, visual arts, dance and drama for all ages, skill levels and interests. www.placedesarts.ca Prussin Music 604/736-3036 www.prussinmusic.com Prussin Music has been serving families since 1985. We offer instrument sales, rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachers are enthusiastic and active in Vancouver’s musical community. We have lessons for all levels and all ages including summer camps and Suzuki classes.

Richmond CommunityMusic School 604/272-5227, Richmond www.richmondmusicschool.ca School of Music and Dance 604/951-3725, Surrey Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby Staccato Music Studios 604/421-3753 www.staccatostudios.com Steveston Music Centre 604/271-3545, Steveston Tom Lee Music 604/685-8471, Vancouver www.tomleemusic.ca Vancouver Academy of Music 604/734-2301 www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes.

Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, and flute. Piano group class (ages 4–9).

Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music history and theory. Private instruction in piano, classical guitar, band and orchestral instruments.

12 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

Vancouver Symphony Orchestra School of Music 604/915-9300 www.vsoschoolofmusic.ca Vancouver’s exciting new VSO School of Music offers lessons on all instruments, classes to play and create with others, innovative early childhood programs (for 3 months+), and casual adult classes. Flexible, affordable options and VSO ticket discounts encourage the whole family.

The Violin ABC’s 778/896-5729 www.violin-abc.com Western Conservatory of Music 604/530-0317, White Rock

performing & visual arts The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com Artspace Children’s Arts Centre www.artspaceforchildren.com Bard on the Beach www.bardonthebeach.org/ about-bard-education Our Young Shakespeareans workshops deliver an interactive fun-filled theatrical adventure. Professional actors lead dynamic workshops on the Bard stages during the summer.

Carousel Theatre for Young People 604/669-3410 www.carouseltheatre.ca CircusWest 604/252-3679 www.circuswest.com E.J.S. School of Fine Arts 604/596-4883 Gateway Theatre 604/247-4975 www.gatewaytheatre.com In-Studio Art Classes/ Marta Roberson Smyth 604/254-0961 www.martademaria.com Mentoring children from six to sixteen with personalised instruction in small groups.

JCC Performing Arts School 604/257-5111, Vancouver Kids Only Acting Classes 778/378-9103 www.kidsonlyacting.com Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, N. Vancouver

Place des Arts 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca With small classes, quality instruction and a welcoming environment, Place des Arts Art Centre and Music School offers arts education in a variety of disciplines for all ages and abilities.

Rainbow Art School Ltd. 604/733-9524 rainbowartschool@gmail.com Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools 1-877-78-STAGE (78243) www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds.

The world’s largest part-time theatre school network, with over 700 locations worldwide in 10 countries! We offer classes in Singing, Dancing and Drama every weekend alongside the school term as well as week long summer camps. Schools locations throughout the Lower Mainland; Vancouver Eastside/ Westside, Richmond, Surrey, Langley, Coquitlam, Victoria.

StageCraft Theatre School 604/267-SCTS (7287) www.stagecraft.ca info@stagecraft.ca Surrey Art Gallery 604/501-5566 Vancouver Film School 604/685-5808 Vancouver Youth Theatre 604/877-0678 www.vyt.ca

winter activity guide

CELEBRATING 17 YEARS OF DANCE EXCELLENCE

Have BC Parent Newsmagazine delivered directly to your inbox.

Visit bcparent.ca to subscribe.

2012-2013 DANCE PROGRAMS NOW ACCEPTING REGISTRATIONS

Photo by: Darling Photography

Visit www.bcparent.ca Read our new blogs… catch up on past issues… enter our contests and find out about great family events in the Lower Mainland.

Locations in Vancouver and Richmond

s 0ROGRAMS FOR 0RESCHOOLERS TO !DULTS s "ALLET s *AZZ s (IP (OP s 4AP s -USICAL 4HEATRE s ,YRICAL s !CROBATICS s "REAKDANCIN s "ALLROOM s #HINESE $ANCE

Locations Richmond Locations in Vancouver and Richmond 쐌 (604) 231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com www.vancouverdance.com

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 13

winter activity guide

sports Aquaventures Swim Centre 604/736-SWIM www.aquaventuresswim.com Award-winning program in tropical warm water.

Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouver www.atlantisprograms.com Cliffhanger 604/874-2400, Vancouver 604/526-2402, Coquitlam www.cliffhangerclimbing.com Club Aviva 604/526-4464, Coquitlam www.clubaviva.citysoup.ca Dynamo Swim Club 778/866-6604 www.dynamoswimclub.net The Edge Climbing Centre 604/984-9080 www.edgeclimbing.com Elite Tennis Academy www.elitetennisacademy.ca 604/273-7366 ext 227 Jump! Gymnastics 604/568-9690 www.jumpgymnastics.ca

Richmond Gymnastics Association 604/278-3614 www.richmond gymnastics.com

Place des Arts High quality classes for all ages in music, dance & the visual, theatrical & literary arts.

Midnight Cheer Athletics 604/263-6436 Vancouver www.midnightcheer.com

Sportball 604/688-3157 www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sports program for children 16 months to 12 years. Children are introduced to eight popular sports: soccer, hockey, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis and golf. Sportball offers weekly programs, outdoor soccer, camps during school holidays, and birthday parties. Come try a free trial class! See our website for a location near you.

North Shore Equestrian Centre 604/988-5131 www.wecreateriders.com

Twin Rivers Equestrian Centre 604/574-5481 www.twinriversequestrian.com

Quantum Gymnastics Centre 604/465-9293, Maple Ridge www.quantumgym.com

UBC Gymnastics 604/822-0207

Kids in Motion 604/970-7945 www.kids-inmotion.ca Langley Gymnastics Foundation 604/532-1022 www.langleygymnastics.org The Little Gym of Langley 604/539-2543 www.thelittlegym.com Marina’s Swim School 604/818-4650 www.marinaswimschool.com Maynard’s Pony Meadows 604/261-1295

RBL Basketball 604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295 www.RBLBasketball.ca Instructional programs, leagues, holiday camps for boys and girls from Kindergarten to Grade 10.

Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics 604/737-7693 www.phoenixgymnastics.com White Rock Gymnastics 604/542-0386 www.whiterockgymnastics.com

we inspire the artist in everyone!

REGISTER NOW FOR WINTER!

C e l e b r a t in g 40

years

of excellence in arts education

Celebrating 40 years of excellence in arts education

www.placedesarts.ca 1120 Brunette Ave, Coquitlam | 604.664.1636 G IF T ES AT C FI E! TI BL ER A C AIL AV

Give the gift of inspiration!

Visual, media and performing arts classes available for ages 2–19, all skill levels, in Vancouver and Surrey. Classes start January 9!

www.artsumbrella.com FUN IN PRESENTING, CONFIDENCE IN SPEAKING, SKILLS FOR LIFE K-12 Private Speech Arts Classes

photo by Kyoko Fierro Arts Umbrella supporters include:

Call For Information 778-323-2448 West Vancouver www.vivavocespeech.com

14 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

Christopher Foundation, Darrell & David Mindell, Hemlock Printers Ltd., Teck Resources Ltd.

#1

By Lela Davidson

e’ve all seen that psycho mom barking orders at her kids like a drill sergeant after one too many lattes. You want to pass her a Valium and rescue the kids from a lifetime of therapy. You know her?

She’s me.

As soon as my husband uttered the words, “ski vacation,” I was all over it. Within minutes I had visited the resort’s website and whipped out a spreadsheet complete with activities, restaurants, and a budget. I printed Mapquest directions and loaded up on Nintendo DS games for the drive. I rocked the planning phase.

Still, as our departure date approached, I hadn’t yet made ski school reservations.

“Did you call?” my husband asked for the hundredth time on the twelve-hour drive to the mountain.

“It’ll be fine.” Did he appreciate all I’d done? Why did he have to harp on those damn ski school reservations?

At the resort, I lost myself in awe of the perfect symmetry of a single snowflake on my gloves, finding comfort in that six-spoked creation. The snowflake doesn’t disappoint; it’s always picturebook-perfect, just like our ski vacation.

Imagine my surprise the next morning, after hiking up sixteen flights of stairs in Gortex and boots to find that ski school was full.

Oops. We promptly signed the kids up for the next day and decided to salvage the day by skiing with them. On the walk to the rental shop I chastised myself for wrecking the day while my husband pretended not to be irked. We suffered through long lines, our children’s professional grade whining, and too-tight boots before heading to our doom on the slopes.

After twenty minutes of “I can’t!” and, “It doesn’t work,” along with some hateful silence, I’d had enough. I couldn’t take another nambypamby minute. Suddenly single-minded in purpose, I declared that we were leaving the bunny slope. Twenty minutes later I was screaming down the first run.

Dig in!

Pay attention!

Toes together!

Get up! Get UP! GET UP!!!

Sure, I looked insane and I scared a few kids who weren’t mine.

Whatever. It’s not like I don’t know better. I know how I should have been acting. I should have been sensitive to my children’s feelings, protected their precious sense of accomplishment, and coddled their fragile self-esteem.

That’s just not me.

Maybe I felt a little bad being so tough on my kids. Maybe there were a few tears inside their goggles, and yes, other parents judged me. What can I say? I’m no snowflake. If I’d let all that stuff deter me, my kids would have missed a whole day of skiing.

Instead, within an hour my shouts had changed from maniacal to: Good!

You got it!

Now you’re skiing!

SHRED!!!

Any residue of guilt fell away that night when I tucked my kids into the soft hotel sheets.

“Mom,” my daughter said, wrapping warm fingers around my neck. “You’re the Best Mom Ever.”

“No,” I said, kissing her on the cheek.

“Uh-huh,” my son added.

“You think?”

They nodded.

“Best Mom Ever!” we all screamed.

A few days later I watched another couple try to smooth talk their son off the ground.

“See all the other kids?” Mama cooed. “You can do it!”

“Come on, Conner,” Daddy pleaded.

“Pleeeeze,” they both practically cried.

The kid just sat there, holding all the power.

If the soft approach works for you, go for it, but know that you can’t fake sensitive. Kids smell artifice like a dog senses fear. Better to be yourself, even though you’re not perfect. Quit trying to be a snowflake. It’s SO much better to be the Best Mom Ever!

Lela Davidson is the author of Blacklisted from the PTA and Who Peed on My Yoga Mat?, collections of irreverent essays about motherhood and the modern family. Her children are both avid skiers. Next stop: Driving lessons. http://leladavidson.com/

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 15

The Four Pillars of Good Sleep Like dental hygiene, instilling good sleep hygiene habits early on in life will promote the retention and sustaining of those good habits throughout a child’s lifetime. leep hygiene refers to the set of habits and guidelines that promote consistently restful and sufficient sleep at night and complete alertness during the day. It’s what you can do (and in some cases, not do) to help your child (and you) sleep easy and well. Sleep hygiene can even help children avoid a whole host of sleeprelated disorders.

The clearest sign that a child has poor sleep hygiene (or could at least use some improvements in the area) is if he/she experiences nighttime sleeplessness and/or daytime sluggishness.

But that covers a broad base of issues, that could include any of the following: • bedtime resistance • anxiety about sleep • sleep onset delay • nighttime wakings • inadequate sleep duration • difficulty awakening in the morning • morning moodiness • daytime sleepiness, to name a few!

Every one of these issues—and more— can be traced (at least in part) to a lapse or gap in some aspect of proper sleep hygiene —and by the same token, every one of these problems can be alleviated (again, at least in part) by making the appropriate adjustments in sleep hygiene.

S

16 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

What follows are Four Pillars of Good Sleep Hygiene: 1. Bedtime Schedule 2. Bedtime Routine 3. Environmental Conditions of the Bedroom 4. Daytime Behaviors and Habits

1

Bedtime Schedule Create a bedtime routine that works for you and your child, and then stick to it.

Sleep and waking cycles need to act in harmony with all other body cycles, such as body temperature, metabolism, dietary schedule, and hormonal activity—our “circadian rhythms.” Our bodies are designed to naturally seek out “homeostasis”—or the condition in which all body systems find balance.

In order to achieve that homeostasis, all these circadian rhythms, must sync smoothly with one another.

For any bedtime schedule to work, it requires two key components: • It must include both a regular bedtime and a regular waking time. Make sure the times you select are practical and realistic for you and your child’s other life schedules.

• It should stay consistent 7 days a week. If you must adjust it for weekends, then don’t adjust it by any more than an hour in either direction, or else you defeat the whole

purpose. Their physiology simply will not know when it is time to sleep or be awake.

And this goes double for teenagers.

Adults may find this framework an even harder challenge to meet than his children, because his own schedules usually differ from weekdays to weekends—and in many cases from weeknight to weeknight. Unfortunately, this irregularity in your own schedules may make it difficult to enforce a regular bedtime schedule in your children, but it makes it no less necessary.

At the same time, in order to be effective the sleeping and waking times you set must not merely be consistent and practical for your schedules, but he must also enable your child to get a sufficient amount of sleep— not too little and not too much. These days, most experts place the right amount at around 8 hours, although for younger children and teens the number may be closer to 10.

Think of a bedtime time schedule like setting your child’s “biological clock.” Set it right and your child’s bodily rhythms begin to naturally run like clockwork.

2

Bedtime Routine Establish a regular bedtime routine for your child. A regular bedtime routine, about one half hour long leading up to bedtime itself, is how you can best help your child to prepare for a good night’s sleep.

A bedtime routine involves engaging in comforting and familiar activities that are also relaxing.

Thirty minutes before bed is the time for a child to start winding down, not up. To be avoided during this critical time period are: • heavy emotional conversations • TV • video games • active, rough-and-tumble play and cardiovascular/aerobic exercise • caffeine (chocolate, caffeinated teas, and some sodas) • lots of liquids (water, juice, milk)*

Hygiene for Kids • big meals and sugary snacks* *Foods with predominantly carbohydrates and proteins (like milk and cookies), and foods with tryptophan (like milk and turkey) both can actually help a child, once fallen asleep, to stay asleep. Just remember to keep bedtime snacks light.

Good bedtime routine activities include • taking a warm bath • reading a story together • quiet, relaxing family time • listening to tranquil music, nature sounds, or a relaxation CD • stretching As children grow older you can be more flexible with bedtime routines, which may grow to include a walk outside, a chat on the back porch about the day’s events or future plans, or perhaps playing a board game or card game or doing a puzzle together. Older children may want to retire to his room to read, listen to music or work on a favorite hobby before retiring for the night and possibly listening to a sleep program.

Whatever activities you (and your child) decide upon, the cornerstone of your child’s bedtime routine is that he know what time to slip into pajamas and brush his teeth, what time to be in bed, and how much time he can spend on in-bed activities such as reading.

3

Environmental Conditions of the Bedroom Certain qualities of the setting in which you set your child down to sleep can play a significant role in the quality of his sleep.

• Set a bedroom temperature that’s comfortable and will remain consistent throughout the night, erring on the cooler side as it’s more supportive of healthful sleep than an excessively warm room (that being anything over 75 degrees); and keeping that temperature consistent throughout the night can help avert nighttime wakings • Make the room sufficiently dark; a small nightlight is okay, if needed, but too much brightness interferes with restful sleep • Ensure sufficient ventilation/air circulation, such as by cracking the door open or using a ceiling fan set on low; refrain, however, from leaving a window wide open all

night for both safety and health reasons • Provide your child a quiet sleeping environment, for reasons that should be obvious • Shut off the television, and what’s more take the television out of your child’s bedroom; recall from Bedtime Routines above that all television-viewing should cease at least 30 minutes before bedtime anyway

By Dr. Tom Jackson

•

•

•

• Keep the bed for sleeping, in other words refrain from getting your child in the habit of associating his bed with anything other than sleeping, such as playing, reading, eating, or watching TV; for this reason, the value of these children’s custom hime beds and playhouse beds that have become somewhat popular of late is questionable • Dress your child in comfortable pajamas/ nightclothes, as the more comfortable she is the easier a time he’ll have of falling asleep and staying asleep • For the same reason, provide your child with a comfortable mattress and pillows, bedsheets and blankets

4

Daytime Behaviors and Habits Many of the factors that influence your child’s sleep the most don’t even occur at night. On the contrary, a variety of habits and behaviors that have a major impact on his sleep occurs in broad daylight.

The following are suggestions of daytime behaviors supportive of good sleep hygiene • Expose your child to sunlight first thing

•

in the morning, as soon as possible after waking, as it helps to set his circadian rhythms for the rest of the day, and longterm for the rest of her life; additionally ensure your child gets sufficient exposure to natural sunlight on a daily basis Don’t use your child’s bedroom for punishments or time-outs, as a child must feel comfortable, safe, and happy to be in his bedroom in order to fall asleep and sleep soundly—all of which are prevented when he starts associating his bedroom with punishment Monitor the content of your child’s television viewing, internet surfing, and video game playing, as exposure to excessively violent, disturbing, or confusing images could be responsible for many sleep disturbances, such as nightmares Confront bullying or other prevalent emotional issues in your child’s daily life, as any number of daily stressors—from being subjected to bullying on a daily basis, to experiencing trouble in school, to facing emotional troubles at home like a divorce, a death in the family, a move, or a sibling rivalry—could direly impact your child’s sleep Discuss your child’s medicines with her pediatrician, as some children’s medications (including prescription drugs, overthe-counter medicines, and all-natural/ herbal remedies) could have side effects that interfere with your child’s restful sleep; if your child turns out to be on such a medication, your doctor can usually help you find adequate alternatives devoid of such side effects

Improvements in your child’s sleep patterns likely won’t happen overnight, but once you begin implementing good sleep hygiene practices in your child’s life you’re bound to notice positive results in due course.

Dr. Tom Jackson is a psychiatrist who has specialized in the treatment of sleep disorders and anxiety for the past thirty years.

He is the creator of the DreamChild™ Adventures audio programs and author of the companion guide, DreamChild™ Adventures in Relaxation and Sleep (August 2012). He is currently Medical Director of a public mental health clinic and in private practice. For more information, please visit www.3DAudioMagic. com and www.ThomasJacksonMD.com

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 17

by Janny J. Johnson

Dandelion Wishes S

till exhausted, I woke up to the sound of my alarm. Realizing that my hand was no longer on the baby’s chest, I panicked. Then I saw that the bassinet was gone. I understood that meant my husband, Paul, had taken the baby to give me a little break. Relief flooded through me. Closing my eyes again, I drew into myself, seeking escape. But it didn’t work.

Nothing seemed to dull the pain.

My newborn, Matthew, had begun having seizures a month before. One minute he would seem fine and the next minute he’d stiffen, his back would arch, and his eyes would roll up into his head. Then he’d begin making guttural, moaning sounds.

One of the most disturbing parts was that once a seizure was over, Matthew wouldn’t make eye contact. He’d just lay limply in my arms for the next couple of hours.

The first time he had a seizure, we had rushed him to the hospital. By the time we got there the episode was over. The only thing the doctor saw was a tired baby. The doctor assured me that the seizure hadn’t hurt, but how did he know? He hadn’t seen 18 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

Matthew during the seizure. It sure looked painful to me. The doctors sent us home saying it seemed to have been an atypical seizure, and that it would probably be a one-time occurrence.

However, over the next couple of weeks, Matthew had another seizure, and then another. Now, I watched for episodes daily,

I was determined to eliminate the weeds from my yard. Weeding helped to distract me from my worries, and kept my heart from aching quite so much.

and slept—no, dozed—each night. I kept one hand inside the bassinet gently resting on his chest, “just in case.” I continued to ask myself why this would happen to such a perfect little person. And when would the next one hit?

The ache never left my heart and the questions never left my head. So far I’d been strong—scared, certainly—but very strong.

I’d rarely cried. Instead, I asked questions, and demanded answers where there seemed to be none. I’d read as much as I could find in the library about seizures, even studying vocabulary-taxing medical journals. I was certain that I’d find out what caused the seizures and then do something about them.

That’s how I’d been at first, but there were no answers. I didn’t know what to do.

As the mother of a newborn and a five-yearold daughter, I was tired.

Before my husband left for work, he said, “It’s been two weeks since the last seizure.

You can’t stay awake for the rest of your life, ‘just in case.’”

I had to admit, a voice inside me whispered that he was right.

In the afternoon I sat in the family room next to Matthew, who was sleeping peacefully in his bassinet. Through the window I noticed a distressing sight in the backyard.

Dandelion seeds arrived on the breeze and settled into the overgrown grass already rife

with bright, yellow-headed weeds and mature, white, fluffy weeds.

I carefully plucked up my sleeping Matthew and, calling to my daughter Katie, I headed outside. Still asleep, I laid the baby on a blanket and stomped over to the garage. Once inside, I grabbed my well-used leather gardening gloves and dandelion fork. Dropping to my knees beside Matthew, I aimed at the center of a yellow weed patch and began the attack.

I plunged the tool into the earth over and over, yanking the weeds out of the ground. Katie had trailed along behind me and complained she would have no more pretty yellow flowers to pick. Irritated, I flung out my arm and pointed out the hundreds—no, probably thousands—of yellow flowers just next door.

I was determined to eliminate the weeds from my yard. Weeding helped to distract me from my worries, and kept my heart from aching quite so much. Matthew slept, and Katie gathered bouquets of yellow flowers, as I tackled the prickly-leafed monsters that crowded out my grass.

When Matthew needed to nurse, I held him with one arm and used the other arm to not-so-successfully weed. Katie played and danced, happy to be outside.

After a couple of hours, Paul arrived home from work. When he walked into the backyard he must have seen the steely look in my eyes as I complained about the horrid weeds. He took Katie with him to pick up some fast food. When they returned, I refused the offered hamburger and kept working. How could I eat when I had a sick baby and weeds besides? Katie chattered and laughed with Paul as they sat in chairs on our tiny patio.

When the sky began to dim, Paul gathered Matthew in his arms and sent Katie to me for a hug and kiss goodnight. As she hopped toward me across the lawn she stopped, plucked a delicate whiteheaded dandelion, and blew.

“Katie! No!” I cried. “The little seeds you’re blowing make weeds!”

“Okay, Momma,” she said. “Nightnight.” Her little arms hugged me with abandon as I got my kiss.

“Goodnight, Katie,” I said to her. “I love you.”

Katie ran to catch up with Paul and caught hold of his free hand. She hopped bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 19

at his side as they went in for their nightly bedtime story. Paul paused at the corner of the house and called softly, “Come in soon.”

I nodded my head. The nod meant I heard him, not that I was about to stop. I was going to rid this lawn of every stickery patch, leaving only soft grass for my little ones. Next year I wanted to watch Matthew laugh as he learned to walk and got used to the feel of grass on his bare feet. My yard was going to be weed-free—and my heart, carefree. My lawn was the only thing I could control in my life.

My whole body ached, but there were more dandelions and I was a weeding machine. I perfected the jab and twist as I stabbed the dandelion fork and removed each noxious plant. Every pointy bunch taunted me. I shifted my position again and started on a new section of grass.

When I saw the light from Katie’s bedroom, I knew Paul was snuggling in bed with her. The baby would be propped between them as Paul read from Katie’s favorite book about fairies. I also knew that by the time I went inside, I’d find Paul with Matthew on his chest in our recliner, both of them asleep. It was tempting to go in right then, but I wasn’t ready.

I stretched, trying to release my tense muscles. Looking around, I appraised the piles of limp dandelions. They were considerable, yet there were more weeds, so I continued. Finally, the sky grew so dark that I could hardly see. I got up, turned on the garage light, and skewered some more.

Eventually a shadow crossed my path.

Without looking up, I said, “Paul, get out of my way. I can’t see.”

“You don’t want to be out here weeding this late,” he said.

“Yes, I do.”

Paul stepped closer, and knelt beside me.

Matthew was on his shoulder. My sweet husband tried to give me a hug, but I pushed him away. “Stop it, Paul. I want to finish this.”

“Janny, you can’t finish it tonight. Look,” he said, pointing. “There are too many left.”

I jabbed at a closed-up dandelion head, but missed the weed. I refused to acknowledge that he was right. My sight was blurry from tears. I tried to focus on the noxious weed right in front of me, and jabbed—and missed—again. As my tears began to flow 20 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

in earnest, they dripped off my face, watering the very weeds I hated.

Again I tried to remove the weed, but dropped the dandelion fork. I turned and buried my face in Paul’s chest and began to sob. He held me close and ran his fingers through my hair.

“Why, Paul?” I sobbed. “Why don’t they know what’s wrong? Everywhere we read all

about medical miracles. Where’s Matthew’s miracle?” As my tears continued, I said, “I just want him to be okay. And I wish… I wish I didn’t have to worry about it all the time.” I tearfully hiccoughed, as I reached over and caressed Matthew’s cheek. “I can’t explain it, but right now I want a lawn without weeds.”

We both sat down side by side. Then Paul whispered, “You’ll never get them all, honey.”

“I know, but—” “There will always be more,” he interrupted. “If you manage to get all the weeds, there will be bits of moss, or the lawn will need to be mowed just one more time.”

Paul caressed my shoulder and said, “That’s just the way lawns are.” He smiled. “For that matter, that’s the way lives are, too.”

I rubbed the back of my hand across my forehead and surrendered. “You’re right.” I handed him my weeding tool and he helped me up.

The next morning, I decided that I needed a calm, do-nothing kind of day. No seizures. No weeding. No nothing. As I got out of bed, my muscles screamed in rebellion. I slipped into the kitchen to find Paul.

I could see into the family room where Matthew was sound asleep in his bassinet.

Paul gave me a quick kiss and left for work as Katie ran into the backyard.

I sat down on the couch beside Matthew and gazed out the window. Masses of dandelion seeds wafted across my vision. I stood up and peered into the corner of our yard.

Katie was deliberately picking and blowing the seeds off a fistful of white-headed dandelions!

Dashing to the back door, I yanked it open and called, “Katie! What are you doing?”

She spun on her feet and blew one more great breath, releasing more dandelion seeds.

“You know better,” I scolded. I scrutinized the white dandelions next door, losing seeds with every puff of breeze. I followed the white fluff to my grass blades that seemed to reach up to catch them. On and on they came. “I told you, Katie. They make more weeds.”

Katie’s brow wrinkled. “They don’t make weeds, Momma, they make wishes. Papa read it to me in the fairy book.” She ran to my side. “I’m making wishes so Matthew will be better and you will be happy.”

I hugged Katie close and caressed her head.

“Thank you, honey,” I said, as I brushed away my sudden tears. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re making wishes for Matthew.”

That afternoon, we read a poem in Katie’s book, about fairies dancing around toadstools. Remembering the little mushrooms growing in the back corner of my not-sohealthy lawn, I watched Katie scrutinizing the illustrations. Next, I thought, she’ll ask us not to mow the tops off the mushrooms.

Maybe it was time to put away this book of fairy tales. It had taught Katie to believe in the unbelievable.

Or had it? Maybe she had learned that even when things are hard, there’s always hope. After all, Matthew hadn’t had a seizure in two weeks. Maybe her wishes, and mine, were coming true.

Looking again at Katie’s eyes, I saw they were full of sparkle and awe. She believed. I realized it was time for me to begin to believe in something beyond myself, just as I had as a child.

And someday, I might have a yard with no dandelions.

Janny J. Johnson is a freelance writer from the Pacific Northwest. She’s the mother of four and grandmother of three. Her son Matthew is now the father of a healthy baby boy. Janny lives in a house with a Home Owners Association that mows her lawn, but alas, she’s still in charge of getting rid of the never-ending dandelions.

A Sheway story

By Carole Sooke

H

er mom died when she was a baby and her dad was too heartbeat, accepted a bottle of vitamins, rummaged through the sad, poor, and bewildered to be a single parent. Her life as donation bins for a sweater, a pair of boots and left. She came back a foster child began. At 15, she had lived in as many foster next day and a beautiful woman was playing the guitar, singing with homes as her years. She left for the West Coast, and a new life. She the babies. told the truck driver who picked her up on the trans Canada that The pushers got out of jail and she returned to her routine on she was nineteen, and after five days that seemed like a lifetime, he the streets, but she kept coming to Sheway for lunch, and to listen dropped her off on Hastings Street. to her baby’s heartbeat.

Street life was exciting at age fifteen and then sixteen. Her first One day in the clinic, as she was pulling down her shirt after a baby was born at St. Paul’s Hospital. The seventeen year old mom long listen to the sweet fast thumping of her baby’s heart, the docleft him in the nursery and returned to the street before her son was tor said, “Well, you’re going to have this baby in a few months. a day old.

You’ll need a safe place to take him home. Have Her life returned to the endless experience you seen the housing outreach worker, Eve, to The pushers got of sleeping in doorways, when a john wouldn’t get some help finding an apartment?” out of jail and she let her sleep in his hotel room. Wads of money Their eyes caught. ‘Are you crazy’, her eyes returned to her routine on disappeared into smoke, or into powder to be asked? Didn’t this doctor know that she just cooked and injected. The drugs provided relief left her babies in the hospital and went back to the streets, but she kept from anger, pain, hunger. They also provided her familiar life on the street? Who would coming to Sheway for numbness to the touch of strangers, think someone like her could have a home and lunch, and to listen to her Another baby, and another. She left the be a mom? baby’s heartbeat. hospital immediately after each birth, giving Those doctor’s eyes were not sarcastic, or the babies secret names in her heart, using her crazy. They were sincerely curious, They bewelfare cheques to have their names tattooed on her arms, sur- lieved that this baby could go home with his mom, if that mom had rounded by hearts and banners. a home for him. And they were offering help in finding a home.

Midway into her fourth pregnancy two young police officers She met Eve. She found a home. She had to ditch the pushers, busted four dealers as she stood in their midst with packages of co- or they would have moved in with her and trashed the place. caine hidden inside her cheeks.

She ditched them and didn’t even miss them.

The young officers sent the four dealers off in a paddy wagon to She found a place, a drippy dingy basement suite, but it had a jail, but they put her in the back seat of their cruiser and drove her door that locked, and a fridge and even a couch. to Sheway and led her to the door. A smiling woman in blue jeans, Her fourth son was born. She barely made it to the hospital in fingers shining with Native silver, offered her lunch. She ate lunch. time. He seemed to fly out into her arms, pink, shy, squalling. He She cried as she watched the women around her with their babies, was beautiful. Like all mothers and babies, they fell in love. They the beautiful toddlers with smears of soup across their faces… held each other close. They created their own perfect world. They She signed up, got a food bag, saw the nurse, heard her baby’s stayed in hospital for weeks while social workers, nurses, doctors bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 21

and outreach workers deliberated. Finally they went home together with plans for parenting groups, counselors and home helpers, all intending to help her adjust and keep the baby safe. Through thick and thin, they grew together.

Hard work it was, and not just for her, and she knew it. She persevered. The years passed. Good times. Bad times. Mother and son together.

How she missed her first three boys!

She found them, eventually. They came to visit, full of an anger that was so familiar to her. She discovered how to be strong, strong like a rock, and accept their anger, and their love.

She was a mom.

This is one of the many amazing Sheway stories: another woman reclaiming her life. Sheway, a coast Salish word meaning ‘Growth’, is a program located in the downtown eastside of Vancouver dedicated to giving support and counseling to pregnant women and mothers with infants under eighteen months.

Sheway was established in 1993 in response to a growing understanding of the needs of pregnant and parenting women living in the downtown eastside. A report entitled Targeting High Risk Families (Lock et al., 1993) revealed that approximately 40% of infants born over a two year period to mothers living in this area of Vancouver were exposed to alcohol or other drugs in utero. The rate of low birth weight was 33% in the exposed infants, all of whom were apprehended by child protection authorities. In this same period, hospital health care providers were identifying an increasing number of socially high-risk pregnant, substance-using women arriving at emergency departments ready to deliver and with no history of prenatal care. The health outcome, for these mothers and infants was poor.

In response to these concerns, a group of health and social serv-

ice providers (including representatives of BC Children’s Hospital, the Vancouver Health Department, and the YWCA’s Crabtree Corner program) prepared a proposal for the development of a community-based integrated service that would meet the complex health and social needs of this population of women and children.

In July 1992, funding for the project was approved and the service began operation in March 1993 [from Sheway.vcn.bc.ca].

Most of the women who come to Sheway have suffered a life of violence and abuse that is endemic in the Downtown Eastside. The drug and alcohol dependency that dulls the reality of their lives also contributes to extremely poor health measures during and after pregnancy.

Sheway provides a non-judgemental A donation to intervention that helps these women Sheway will get the support they need to be able help these to parent. The staff includes alcohol mothers and and drug counselors, community babies claim health nurses, social workers, a nutria healthy life. tionist, outreach worker, physicians, First Nations Support Worker, Aboriginal Community Support Worker and more. They help these women with nutritional support during pregnancy supplying them with hot lunches and pre-natal vitamins. They help with housing as well as pre and post-natal care. They counsel on parenting and life-style modification. It is a multifaceted approach to a very complex problem, and as such, has a better rate of success than any one intervention in isolation.

You can help. Each time a home is found for a mother and her child, Sheway supplies her with all the basic baby needs—a crib, high chair, and stroller. They also provide the mother with basic household needs such as pots and pans, towels, broom, bedding, grocery vouchers, and milk coupons. A donation to Sheway will help these mothers and babies claim a healthy life.

Information on how you can help can be found on the Sheway website, at www.sheway.vcn.bc.ca.

THREE GREEN RATS AN ECO TALE AVAI LABLE ONLINE www.threegreenrats.com a humorous and timely tale for todays children

22 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012

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Marpole Bilingual Montessori (Est. 1985) Pre-School, Junior Kindergarten & Kindergarten Celebrating Over 25 years of Montessori Teaching in the Community Our enriched Montessori curriculum includes: The Phonetic approach to Reading & Writing, Mathematics, Geography, Science, Music, Art, French, Yoga and a variety of Cultural subjects. Children are required to wear school uniforms.

We offer 2-1/2 hour and 3-1/2 hour programs for 2-1/2 to 5 year olds as well as an Extended day program for 5 year olds. Private English Tutoring and Afterschool Phonics classes are also offered.

1296 W 67TH AVE., VANCOUVER, BC V6P 2T2 FOR AN APPOINTMENT PLEASE CALL TEL:

604-266-1091 ě?? EMAIL: bilingualmontessori@hotmail.com

www.marpolebilingualmontessori.com

bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2012 23