holiday issue 2013 www.bcparent.ca
winter activity guide Playing in the Snow
Saving our Sons
Le français au CSF,
c’est bien plus qu’une langue ! Inscrivez votre enfant dans une des écoles publiques du CSF ! Depuis sa création en 1995, le Conseil scolaire francophone de la ColombieBritannique offre des programmes et des services éducatifs valorisant le plein épanouissement et l’identité culturelle des apprenantes et apprenants francophones de la province. Le conseil compte aujourd’hui plus de 4 700 élèves, 37 écoles publiques et dessert plus d’une centaine de communautés réparties dans l’ensemble de la province.
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inside ... 4 Calendar This An electronic solution?
6 Tween Tudes Five we could live without
8 Lets Go Play in the snow
10 Give Books as Gifts? Yes you can!
11 Winter Activity Guide 16 Eat Up! Natural remedies for pregnancy ailments
18 Saving our Sons A 10-step plan to keep them nonviolent
20 Vitamin F Faith
22 My Yoga Mat More than serenity Follow us on
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Publisher/Executive Editor: Forrest Phillips
Contributors: Lela Davidson, Malia Jacobson, Heather Lee Leap, Sarah Lindsey, Stacey Loscaizo, Dr. Marisa Marciano, Ted Zeff Ph.D.
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Holiday Issue 2013 Volume 22, Number 8
BC Parent Newsmagazine
bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 3
Calendar This by Lela Davidson
y husband’s company recently switched from the antiquated Lotus Notes to Google for all their messaging. This was the catalyst for me to finally convert from an equally obsolete paper calendar to an electronic one. My husband and I could finally synchronize our calendars. Never again would we speak in clipped tones about the “surprise” soccer practice or missed dental appointment. And all without persistent verbal reminders from me. Either one of us could create an event and invite the other to it. Finally, a solution for eight out of ten of our marital disputes. The first thing I did—after filling in the requisite parent-teacher conferences and basketball games—was invite my husband to: Sex, Tuesday, 6:30 am. I received his response right away. He declined. Then the phone rang. However, I was busy scheduling good intentions into all those rectangles, so my husband left a message with our daughter. She handed me the note, written in her childish scrawl:
M
4 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
Dad says that’s not funny. He could get fired for that. This did not bode well for the new system. If I couldn’t get my husband to pay attention to such an inviting appointment, what chance did I have with morning carpool? I’ve had a thing for calendars since I was a 20-year-old bank teller with my first At-A-Glance. It showed a full month in square-inch boxes, few of which actually had anything written in them. I like calendars so much that I keep them. Deep in the back of my closet are chronological records dating back to 1991. If some future descendant ever wants to reconstruct my life, he or she could plot the highlights: met my husband, graduated college, got married, had a baby, had another baby, etc. through the scribbled evidence of my days. These boxes may someday provide valuable insights about life at the turn of the century. Right there on December 31, 1999 it reads: Y2K Semiahmoo. A party at the end of the
world. Except that the plans I had in the weeks following came to pass. The apocalypse did not arrive as promised. Instead, I got a haircut and went to a pre-natal appointment. I’m a little sad I won’t have those physical mementos anymore, but I’m not going back. Much as I love paper, you can’t access a 8½ x 11 spiral bound calendar from a smart phone. My attachment to seeing the whole month on one page held me back for years. It hurt my back to carry a stone-age calendar around in my bag. I envied friends who whipped out their phones to schedule appointments. Online calendars are the over-committed woman’s crack pipe, and I loved mine from my first hit. The high-tech convenience enables—no, encourages—the tendency to over-schedule by making every obligation fit so easily and efficiently among the others. My husband liked his new calendar too, but the longer we used our new toys, the clearer it became that being on the same
electronic page did not help to synchronize our schedules. Immediately after inviting him to sex I added all my trips to his electronic calendar. Together, we reviewed a print copy to identify any potential conflicts or gaps in childcare coverage. With highlighted boxes and multiple email alerts in place, we were golden. Not so fast, Execu-Mom. A few months later my husband “just now remembered” a very important trip he had scheduled “a long time ago.” With complete disregard for my carefully crafted minute-by-minute timetable, he had planned this trip without consulting his digital calendar or the handy paper backup. When he suddenly recalled this critical trip that could not be rearranged, I remained calm. As did he. My outer peace was an intentional strategy to resist the strong urge to solve the problem for him, after I stabbed him with a highlighter. His serenity was based in blind faith. “My parents can come up,” he said. This is his go-to answer for all childcare, home improvement, and pet sitting needs. Never mind that his parents, with a com-
bined age of 163, maintain a fully loaded bridge and travel schedule of their own, and live five hours away by car. Surely they would drop everything, pack up the fish oil capsules and merlot, and race off to babysit the grandkids. I did not ask my husband if he would make actual requests for definite dates, and then record those dates in a systematic way, such as on a calendar. To do so would have displayed a lack of faith in him. He said he’d take care of it and I trusted him to do so. A week before our coinciding trips, feeling guilty about missing my daughter’s only band concert of the year, I reassured her that her grandparents would be there to watch her. “They don’t get to see you do this kind of thing very often. It’s special.” My husband was in earshot. “Hey, um…” he said, “have you… um … talked to my mom at all?” “About what?” He started to scratch his head, just like his father does when he’s frustrated. “Are they coming up next week?” Oh, the things I did to him in my mind,
things right out of a Mexican soap opera. Which brings us back to sex, and those handy invitations. For all my love of a good planner, and all my lists and matrices, I never thought I’d become someone who put sex on a calendar. Sure, the invitation started as a joke, but seeing the words there on my screen so official and certain in a business-like font has its merits. If only I can get my husband to accept my invitations. Lela Davidson is the author of Blacklisted from the PTA, and Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? She continues to practice yoga for strength, flexibility, and most of all, humility. Lela’s thoughts on marriage, motherhood, and life-after-40 have appeared in hundreds of magazines, websites, and anthologies.
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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 5
Tween ‘Tudes
Five we could live without By Malia Jacobson
P
sychologist G. Stanley Hall famously described the teenage defying society’s rule to ‘sit up straight’— even if your parents never years as a “storm.” But the teen tempest is foreshadowed by asked you to.” some early storm warnings during the tween years: unset- How to help: Recognize that it’s not (always) about you: “Parents tling new behaviours like blatant eye-rolling, public back-talk, and can take their child’s attitude personally, when the behaviour is peer worship. These wearing attitudes darken more of a general statement about all auththe horizon like threatening clouds during ority,” says Schafer. Treat an eye-roll or a early adolescence—and make parents want to slumped stance as an invitation to uncover You used to be the run for cover. what’s genuinely bothering your child. epicenter of your What makes previously pleasant children turn mouthy and defiant after age 8? It’s not The slick lip child’s life, but lately, bad parenting, says Alyson Shafer, psychotherFrom a mumbled “Yeah, right,” to a sassy there’s a new focal apist and author of Ain’t Misbehavin’. But these showdown over chores or homework, back talk point: peers. behaviours are a form of revolt. “Rebellion peppers tween language. What’s really going only exists in relationships where people are in on when kids talk back? According to Schafer, a superior/inferior relationship. Eventually the tweens don’t consider mouthing off to be back person in the inferior position rises up, and that’s what we see with talk—they think they’re defending themselves. “Tweens are telling tweens disrespecting their parents.” parents ‘if you can talk to me that way, then I can do the same to If storm clouds are brewing at your house, don’t batten down the you!’” hatches. Take these steps to tame unruly tween ‘tudes, starting today. How to help: Back talk shouldn’t be ignored, because it signals an underlying problem (even a minor, fleeting one like frustration over The slouch & shirk a missed soccer goal or a bad grade). But shooting back more angry Exaggerated eye-rolls, slouching, shirking parents’ gaze—non-ver- words only fuels the fire. Responding with “I can see you’re upset right now. Let’s take bal rebellion is a tweenage specialty. “This is a natural developmensome time to cool off. Do you want to spend time alone, or would tal time to push against authority, even about something as simple you like me to stay with you?” gives both parties a chance to step as posture,” notes Schafer. “Slouching and slumping are a way of 6 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
away from the problem and regroup. Once tempers are diffused, raise the issue in a neutral tone and work toward resolution, recommends Suzanne Roberts, a licensed family therapist in Seattle. The mall meltdown
You’re waiting to pay for a purchase, sitting down at a restaurant, or leaving a school function when it happens: your tween unleashes a defiant diatribe that makes heads turn (and your stomach drop). All eyes are on you—what now? Public parental humiliation is a time-honored tween tactic, because tweens know that parents may be more likely to cave in the glare of the spotlight. “I don’t know any parent who hasn’t had this happen to them,” says Roberts. How to help: Too often, parents react to the shame they feel instead of the actual situation at hand. “We’re afraid of being judged by strangers,” says Roberts. Instead of getting burned in the heat of the moment, cut the outing short and remove the child from the situation. Hear your child out when everyone’s anger has mellowed, and provide a logical consequence (like “The next time you want to go to the mall, we’re not going”). Prevent these trying scenes in the first place by setting parameters for the outing before leaving the house. Decide in advance how much money will be spent, how long you’ll stay, and what constitutes acceptable behaviour for the trip. The mood swing
Living with a mercurial, moody tween is no picnic. One moment, your child is a sunny sweetheart. The next, a rage-filled zombie. But don’t blame your child—blame a growth spurt in the brain around 11–13 that impacts mood and behaviour. With rapidly changing bodies and minds, kids lack the impulse control and emotional regulation to deal with stress adaptively, and lash out at parents instead. How to help: Don’t try to problem-solve when kids are at the unpleasant end of the mood spectrum. “When we’re angry, our brains are taken over by a fight-or-flight response and we can’t respond appropriately,” says Roberts. Ask your child to put a numerical value on their anger, from one to ten, and make a family rule to take a cool-down break if anyone tags their fury at five or higher.
Building Respectful Parent-Tween Relationships Listen Without Replying Really hear what your child says and accept that it is their reality. They may have a chip on their shoulder or a grudge they are bearing. Find out what it is. Create a Signal Decide you want more mutual respect in the family. Create a signal—like touching your nose—to employ when either party feels disrespected. Problem-Solve View discipline issues as problems that need solutions instead of children that need punishment. Have family meetings and ask tweens to contribute to household rules. Kids are more likely to comply with rules they help to set. Strengthen Bonds Think back to a time when things were going well with your tween. Where were you? What were you doing? Create more of those conditions and rituals to build a stronger bond.
Source: Alyson Shafer, psychotherapist and author, Ain’t Misbehavin.
judgment and really work to uncover what’s driving their behaviour, that’s so helpful,” says Roberts. “When someone feels understood, it changes the whole dynamic of the relationship.” Malia Jacobson is a nationally published journalist and mom. She blogs about family health at www.thewellrestedfamily.com.
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You used to be the epicenter of your child’s life, but lately, there’s a new focal point: peers. These days, your child is dressing, talking, and acting more and more like her pack of tween pals. Worse, she seems to prefer their company to yours. What gives? How to help: As painful as it may be, parents need to let out the leash a bit more with tweens, says Schafer. “Tweens will choose your company less often, so you need to find other ways to stay connected during this time.” To maintain a strong connection that will stand the test of peer power, try meeting tweens where they are: chatting, texting, sharing computer games, shopping, or simply listening. Ultimately, respect is a two-way street, and tweens who don’t feel respected are more likely to dish out disrespect themselves. If we can approach our children from a standpoint of curiosity instead of
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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 7
Let’s Go Play in the Snow! By Heather Lee Leap
re your kids crossing their fingers for the first “snow day” that closes area schools? Will you need to travel to find a winter wonderland this season? Either way, it is time to start making plans for snowy family fun this winter. If you think your children are too young for snow play other than what is found in the back yard, think again. Whether it is a snowball fight or a run down the slopes, playing in the snow offers fresh air, exercise and fun for the whole family. Snowshoeing offers a slower pace than skiing or sledding, allowing you to enjoy the majesty of the mountain and share it with children in a way that everyone can
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enjoy. It can be a heart-pumping, athletic pursuit, or a leisurely trek along the snowcovered trails. Essentially walking through the snow, snowshoeing is a way for even novice outdoor enthusiasts to enjoy the mountain with small children. Falls are not as dramatic as they can be from skis, so parents can feel comfortable with a baby in a pack. Preschoolers and even sturdy toddlers can stomp along on tiny “bear paw” snowshoes. Kids that young are thrilled to be out in the wonderful whiteness and are not interested in hiking long distances. Instead, they are likely to stop to build a snowman three feet from the parking lot.
To get the most out of a snowshoeing adventure, consider having the adults in your party take turns hanging out with the kids. After the initial frenzy of struggling into gear and hoisting the little ones over the inevitable snow bank, one of you can stride ahead for five minutes of solitude then backtrack to rejoin the family. The kids may have only progressed a few feet, eating snow along the way, but your solo journeys will increase your enjoyment and leave you with more enthusiasm for one more snowball fight and building snow people later in the day. Snowshoeing and cross-country skiing often use the same trails, but snowshoe prints
destroy the trail for skiers. Stay to the side of established ski tracks. Nordic skiing, also known as cross-country skiing, is simple to learn. If your kids are old enough to try skiing but still tire easily, you can pull a sled or rent a Kinder Shuttle. (Imagine your bike trailer on skis.) The sled is also a great option if you are not comfortable skiing with a baby or toddler in a pack. Like snowshoeing, cross-country skiing does not require a lift ticket however you may be required to purchase a trail pass. Groomed trails are generally easier for beginners as it breaks up the slippery, icy crust. Very young children will be most successful without ski poles, as beginners tend to stick their poles out in front of themselves, causing skis, poles, arms and legs to become tangled. Snowboarding and alpine, or downhill, skiing build strength and determination in both children and adults. Oregon mom Kristen Kopack goes snowboarding while her husband and 7-year old daughter ski. She encourages families to invest in a few lessons for kids headed for the slopes.
“They can be with kids their own age or skill level and have fun while mom and dad ski,” she says. Ski lessons have given her daughter the skills and confidence to go to the top and ski down with her family. “I enjoy seeing her be fearless, yet in control,” says Kopack. If your kids are very young, and you have some experience skiing, you might choose to teach them yourself. Mark Dorn has enjoyed teaching his three daughters to ski. Toddlers and preschoolers are likely to tire and lose interest in a short time, but Dorn finds that going up for half a day allows them great instruction time and bonding time—especially on the lifts! Snowboarding requires more balance than skiing. A child’s center of gravity is higher the younger she is which increases her instability on the board. Falls are more likely for the beginning snowboarder, and lessons can help kids learn to fall as safely as possible. Stick with skiing until age 5 or older, when your child will have a lower center of gravity and better coordination. And finally, or maybe first of all, sled-
ding and inner-tubing are great equalizers on the slopes. Little skill is required and there is plenty of raucous fun. Bring your own sled to a local hill, or rent a kiddie tube to try smaller sledding hills at a resort. For older kids and teens, tubing on the larger slopes at our local mountains or at ski resorts is a big hit. No matter what activities your family decides to pursue in the snow, you will create memories to last a lifetime. And all that snow play is hard work. Like Kopack, you may find that snow play gives your kids a sense of confidence and shows them how strong and powerful they can be. Resources: Outdoor Fun for Families http://www.vancouvertrails.com/articles/ vancouver-snowshoe/
Basic Essentials Snowshoeing (Basic Essentials Series) by Phil Savignano Ski Children—A Guide for Stress Free Skiing with Kids, by Lyn Ashby, available for Kindle Ski Tips for Kids: Fun Instructional Techniques with Cartoons, by Mike Clelland and Alex Everett
Belonging “It is like when everyone is your best friend for real.” – Ben, age 4 Alderwood House is a nature based, early education program in Richmond, for children 12 months – 5 years. Rooted in reggio-inspired philosophy, our goal is to foster social emotional learning. Opening new location in Port Coquitlam, January, 2014!
www.alderwoodhouse.com bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 9
Give books as gifts? Yes you can! By Stacey Loscaizo
id you know that there is a positive correlation between the amount of print in a child’s home and their independent reading level? While simply having more books in the house will not make your child a better reader, it does help. The U.S. Department of Education found that children with a high interest in books have, on average, 80.6 books in the home while children with a low interest in reading have only 31.7 books. These statistics may convince grown ups that giving books is a good idea, but the books must still be fun in order for a child to smile after opening the present. Gift givers should remember to:
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Give books that are easy to read: Children,
like adults, enjoy reading easy books and books that are just right for their reading level. Children do not enjoy or benefit educationally from reading books that are too hard. Gift giving is not an ideal time to challenge a child. Let teachers do that and give gifts that are fun. For a child to truly comprehend a book, they must read it with 98% accuracy, so choose books a child can read on their own. RECOMMENDED: Picture Books: I Want my Hat Back, Jon Klassen Bear Has a Story to Tell, Phillip Stead My Name is Elizabeth, Annika Dunklee Flora and the Flamingo, Molly Idle Early Chapter Books: The Year of Billy Miller, Kevin Henkes Marty McGuire, Kate Messner Anna Hibiscus, Atinuke Clementine, Sara Pennypacker Chapter Books: Wonder, R.J. Palacio The One and Only Ivan, Katherine Applegate Liar and Spy, Rebecca Stead
Three Times Lucky, Shelia Turnage Non-Fiction: Step Gently Out, Helen Frost The Beetle Book, Steve Jenkins Balloons Over Broadway, Melissa Sweet Amelia Lost: The Life and Disappearance of Amelia Earhart, Candace Fleming Poetry: Lemonade: and Other Poems Squeezed from a Single Word, Bob Raczka Shiver me Timbers: Pirate Poems and Paintings Forgive me, I Meant to Do It: False Apology Poems, Gail Carson Levine I am the Book, Lee Bennet Hopkins
10 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
While reading easy books, children can focus on meaning and enjoy humor or suspense while gaining ‘mileage’ as readers. They can process many words and build up rapid word recognition. And most importantly, while reading easy books, children are happy and that’s what reading and gift giving are all about. Find great books on a child’s reading level at Scholastic Book Wizard. Enter the title of a book that your child can read easily, determine its level and then search for other titles at the same level. Give new books, not just your old favourites: Like it or not, children
do judge books by their covers. Adults often fall back on books they liked as children when giving gifts but this is not always the best idea. While many books have stood the test of time, there are also wonderful new titles available that appeal to today’s children. To find new titles, get to know a few children’s literature book bloggers. Occasional visits to a few blogs will help you to know the current titles that children will love. Betsy Bird at Fuse #8 Productions, Jules Danielson at Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast and Travis Jonker of 100 Scope Notes consistently recommend great books. If you prefer looking for titles between the covers of a book, try A Family of Readers edited by Roger Sutton and Martha Parravano for some great, current recommendations. Give different types of books: Different kids like different types of books. Often a child who doesn’t like to read is the child who has only been presented with one type of book. Some children love the stories held in fiction while other, more fact loving types need nonfiction to enjoy the reading process. Still others will develop a love of poetry if it is presented in a fun way. See the side bar for a list of current books in different categories.
All children love receiving toys as gifts but if given well, books can be equally popular. When receiving books, children can have a good time and sneak in a little bit of learning without even knowing it. With just a bit of thought and planning children can shake a present and say, “Yeah! Another book!” Stacey Loscalzo is a freelance writer and mother of two girls living in Ridgewood, NJ. She has been giving books as gifts for as long as she can remember.
winter activity guide academic Academic Advantage Tutoring 604/439-1790 www.schooliseasy.com ADNC Neurofeedback Centre of BC 604/730-9600 www.neurofeedbackclinic.ca Canada’s Best Independent Schools—Our Kids Go To School www.ourkids.net Googol Learning 604/720-9377 www.googolpower.com Ho Math and Chess Learning Centre 604/263-4321 www.mathandchess.com Language Tutors 604/338-9598 www.languagedesigns.ca Mimic Baby Sign Language www.mimicbaby.com
MPM Math 604/266-6762 www.mpmmath.com
Sylvan Learning 800/EDUCATE www.educate.com
PD Plus Tutoring Service 604/421-6101 www.pdplustutors.com
TOC Education Resources 604/603-7017 www.toceducationresources.com Chinese language and culture program for 3 years to adult.
The Reading Foundation 604/222-2254 www.readingfoundation.com Silbury Education and Resource Centre 604/261-4696 www.silbury.ca Full and part time education for gifted and creative learners K–8. Spirit of Math Schools Richmond 604/304-4032 Vancouver 604/568-0018 www.spiritofmath.com The leader in math enrichment in Canada for over 25 years. Visit our website for details.
Anna Wyman School of Dance Arts 604/926-6535, West Van
The Whole Dyslexic Society 604/921-1084 www.dyslexiacanada.com
dance A-Star Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, Vancouver www.astarstudio.com Al Mozaico Flamenco Dance Academy 604/671-9182, Vancouver www.mozaicoflamenco.com
The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com AUUC School of Dance 604/254-3436 danceschool@auucvancouver.ca www.auucvancouver.ca Experience for yourself the joy and artistry of Ukrainian dance! Quality & creative instruction in Folk-Stage, Ballet & Contemporary Dance. 85 years of arts programs reflecting a modern multicultural experience. Ages 3 to adult. The BrightStars Program 604/662-8554, Vancouver www.brightstars.ca Vancouver’s only professional Performing Arts program for young children ages 1–13. Dance, sing and act to the melody of life. Classes run year round. Crystal Ballroom Dance School 604/323-1238 www.crystalballroom.ca Dance Co 604/736-3394, Vancouver www.danceco.com info@danceco.com Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training for all ages and levels. Providing technique and performance while developing confidence and creativity. Programs start throughout the year, for more information visit our website: danceco.com
bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 11
winter activity guide & Senior levels as well as International Gold Medal Award Recipients. Well balanced curriculum, RAD examinations & extensive performance opportunities. hz Ballet Classique 604/299-9698, Burnaby www.balletclassique.com Just for Kicks School of Dance 604/596-4161, Surrey North Shore Academy of Dance 604/987-3814 Northwest Academy of Performing Arts 604/306-7390 www.NAPAdance.com Pacific Dance Arts 604/738-8575 www.pacificdancearts.ca
Dance Expressions 604/574-2277, Surrey www.dancexp.com Douglas Ballet Academy 604/420-0204, Vancouver www.douglasballet.homestead. com Academy of International Dance Arts 604/327-9313 www.academyofinternational dancearts.com
Gabriela’s Movement Studio 604/272-0607 www.movementstudio.ca gabriela@movementstudio.ca Goh Ballet Academy 604/872-4014 info@gohballet.com www.gohballet.com Training institute of provincial champions in the Junior, Intermediate
Place des Arts Centre & Music Shool 604/664-1636, Coquitlam www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides high quality arts education for all ages and abilities. Over 30 music teachers offer private lessons in a wide range of instruments. Ongoing lessons in music & dance run Sept–June; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual and literary art run fall, winter and spring. Port Moody School of Dance 604/936-0966 www.portmoodydance.com Precision Dance Academy 604/939-8277 www.precisiondance.ca
20 years
Spotlight Dance Centre 604/299-6111, Vancouver
Classical Ballet Contemporary Lyrical Jazz Broadway Hip Hop Acro Tap
Surrey Dance Centre 604/599-9961 www.surreydancecentre.com The Landing Dance Centre 604/325-8653 www.thelandingdance.com Tri-City Dance Centre 604/523-6868, Coquitlam www.tricitydance.com Unhinge Dance 778/833-3914 www.unhingedance.ca unhingedance@hotmail.com
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Visit DanceCo.com danceco.com email: info@danceco.com 604.736.3394 154-4255 Arbutus St, Vancouver 12 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
Conveniently located at Arbutus Village Shopping Centre
Vancouver Tap Dance Society 604/253-0293 www.vantapdance.bc.ca Vancouver Academy of Dance 604/231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com Vancouver Academy of Dance offers summer dance camps in ballet, jazz/lyrical, tap, hip hop, acrobatics, ballroom and Chinese Dance at their main location in Richmond. Westside Dance Centre Ltd 604/736-1000 www.westsidedance.ca We offer great classes in Tap, Jazz, Ballet and Hip hop for kids as young as 3 years old, right up to adults.
specialty Bricks 4 Kidz 778/822-5672 www.bricks4kidz.com/ vancouver Bricks 4 KidzŽ provides programs that inspire kids to learn about architecture, engineering and design concepts while having fun building with LEGOŽ bricks. Now offering After School Enrichment Classes, Camps and Birthday Parties. Ages 5–12. Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art 604/733-1356 www.christiannehayward.com The Lyceum encourages young people to see themselves as readers, writers and artists as they engage with abstract ideas and reflect on their own place in society. Programs include: bookclubs, writers’ workshops, literature and art classes and holiday and summer camps. The Dizzy Whisk – Cooking Classes for Kids 778/998-3530 www.dizzywhisk.com Kimiko’s Japanese Kitchen 604/727-5331 www.kimikoskitchen.com Sewing with Frances 604/433-1030 www.francessewingschool.com Vancouver Aquarium 604/659-FISH www.visitvanaqua.org
music Allegro Music School Inc. 604/327-7765, Vancouver Arbutus Music Academy 604/736-8767 www.arbutusmusicacademy.com The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca BC Conservatory of Music 604/299-2984, Burnaby www.bcmusic.ca BC Registered Music Teachers Association 604/733-5531 www.bcrmta.bc.ca Visit our website to find a qualified registered music teacher. Be assured of knowledgeable, competent and qualified instruction. The BrightStars Program 604/662-8554, Vancouver www.brightstars.ca Learning life long skills through the study of dance styles, music and movement. Classes range from 2 to 5 yrs. Campos Music 604/325-0480 Carillon Music 604/591-1161 www.carillonmusic.com
winter activity guide Clavimusic Piano Studios 778/881-0329 www.clavimusic.com
Grade 4s & 5s can ski and snowboard at over 150 ski areas for only $29.95
Colourstrings Music Studio 604/730-5418, Vancouver www.colourstringsvan.com
S
ki areas across Canada are opening their hearts and hills to over 700,000 4th and 5th graders, with an invitation to ski and snowboard all winter long! All you need is a Grade 4 & 5 SnowPass, which is a coupon card offering 4th and 5th graders three complimentary lift tickets at each of the participating ski areas, all across Canada. With over 150 ski areas on this year's SnowPass card, that amounts to over 450 days of skiing and snowboarding for a very low price of $29.95. The Grade 4 & 5 SnowPass program is a ski and snowboard industry initiative that encourages kids to get outside and be active during the winter. Grades 4 and 5 were selected for the program because nine and ten years old are ideal ages to learn how to ski or snowboard. Anyone who is currently in grade 4 or grade 5 (or born in 2003 or 2004) is eligible for a SnowPass. Applications are available at the SnowPass web sitewww.snowpass.ca where you can apply for the SnowPass online by uploading a photo, proof of age or grade and making the payment of $29.95 including taxes. The Grade 4 & 5 SnowPass can be used all across Canada and is valid beginning December 1st until the end of the ski season. For children who apply in grade 4, the SnowPass can be used in two seasons; while they are in grade 4, with the remaining available lift passes while they are in grade 5. For more information on the Grade 4 & 5 SnowPass, please visit www.snowpass.ca where you will find all the pertinent program information, including a full list of participating ski areas.
Delta Community Music School 604/946-1280, Delta Dominanta Music School 604/767-0949, Burnaby www.dominanta.ca Jean Lyons School of Music 604/734-4019 www.jeanlyonsmusic.com Jumpstart Music & Movement 604/777-7179 www.jumpstartmusicand movement.com Langley Community Music School 604/534-2848 www.langleymusic.com Long & McQuade Music Education Centres www. long-mcquade.com Long & McQuade’s Lesson Centres – comfortable studios, qualified instructors, low rates, no registration fees, and lessons for every age, level and style. Music for Young Children 800/828-4334 www.myc.com Music for Young Children provides a comprehensive music program that integrates keyboard, singing, ear training, sight reading, creative movement, rhythm, music theory and music composition for children age 3–11.
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Music Teachers on the Go 778/882-7603 info@musicteachersonthego.com www.musicteachersonthego.com North Shore Music Academy 604/925-3403, North Van Noteworthy Music 604/270-3620, Richmond O Music Studios 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com Oakridge Music Studio 604/321-1551 www.omusicstudios.com Pacific Academy for Music 604/944-0336, Port Coquitlam www.musicinstructor.net Pacific Piano Studio 604/329-7290 Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca Place des Arts provides high quality arts education for all ages and abilities. Over 30 music teachers offer private lessons in a wide range of instruments. Ongoing lessons in music and dance run Sep to Jun; session classes in music, dance, theatre, visual and literary art run fall, winter and spring.
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Abbotsford Coquitlam Delta Kelowna Langley North Vancouver Richmond Surrey Vancouver West Vancouver White Rock
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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 13
winter activity guide Prussin Music 604/736-3036 www.prussinmusic.com Prussin Music has been serving families since 1985. We offer instrument sales, rentals, repairs & lessons. Our teachers are enthusiastic and active in Vancouver’s musical community. We have lessons for all levels and all ages including summer camps and Suzuki classes. Richmond CommunityMusic School 604/272-5227, Richmond www.richmondmusicschool.ca School of Music and Dance 604/951-3725, Surrey Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby Staccato Music Studios 604/421-3753 www.staccatostudios.com Steveston Music Centre 604/271-3545, Steveston Tom Lee Music 604/685-8471, Vancouver www.tomleemusic.ca At Tom Lee Music Learning Centre, you can enjoy excellent music education in a fun community atmosphere. Students of all ages come together for a positive music making experience at
Taking Students from the top of
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... to the top of the Nation The leader in math enrichment in Canada for over 25 years. After-school classes for high-performing students now in Richmond and Vancouver West.
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St. Anne’s Steveston Anglican Church 4071 Francis Rd.
Vancouver West Campus (604) 568-0018
St. James Community Sq. 3214 West 10th Ave.
Releasing the Genius®
14 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
our four key and satellite locations on Vancouver Island. To register, please call 604.688.8929. Vancouver Academy of Music 604/734-2301 www.vam.bc.ca Kodaly and Orff musicianship classes. Suzuki violin, viola, piano, cello, and flute. Piano group class (ages 4–9). Ballet (ages 31/2–18). RCM music history and theory. Private instruction in piano, classical guitar, band and orchestral instruments. The Violin ABC’s 778/896-5729 www.violin-abc.com Western Conservatory of Music 604/530-0317, White Rock
performing & visual arts The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268 www.artsumbrella.com Artspace Children’s Arts Centre www.artspaceforchildren.com
Bard on the Beach www.bardonthebeach.org/aboutbard-education Our Young Shakespeareans workshops deliver an interactive fun-filled theatrical adventure. Professional actors lead dynamic workshops on the Bard stages all summer. Carousel Theatre for Young People 604/669-3410 www.carouseltheatre.ca CircusWest 604/252-3679 www.circuswest.com E.J.S. School of Fine Arts 604/596-4883 Gateway Theatre 604/247-4975 www.gatewaytheatre.com In-Studio Art Classes/ Marta Roberson Smyth 604/254-0961 www.martademaria.com Mentoring children from six to sixteen with personalised instruction in small groups. JCC Performing Arts School 604/257-5111, Vancouver Performing & Fine Arts Studio 604/266-3053, N. Vancouver
winter activity guide Place des Arts 604/664-1636 www.placedesarts.ca With small classes, quality instruction and a welcoming environment, Place des Arts Art Centre and Music School offers arts education in a variety of disciplines for all ages and abilities. Rainbow Art School Ltd. 604/733-9524 rainbowartschool@gmail.com Shadbolt Centre for the Arts 604/291-6864, Burnaby StageCoach Theatre Arts Schools 1-877-78-STAGE (78243) www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds. The world’s largest part-time theatre school network, with over 700 locations worldwide in 10 countries! We offer classes in Singing, Dancing and Drama every weekend alongside the school term as well as week long summer camps. Schools locations throughout the Lower Mainland: Vancouver Eastside/ Westside, Richmond, Surrey, Langley, Coquitlam, Victoria. Surrey Art Gallery 604/501-5566
Vancouver Youth Theatre 604/877-0678 www.vyt.ca
Langley Gymnastics Foundation 604/532-1022 www.langleygymnastics.org
Richmond Gymnastics Association 604/278-3614 www.richmond gymnastics.com
sports
The Little Gym of Langley 604/539-2543 www.thelittlegym.com
Richmond Olympic Oval 778/296-1400 wwwrichmondoval.ca Visit our website for details about our programs.
Aquaventures Swim Centre 604/736-SWIM www.aquaventuresswim.com Award-winning program in tropical warm water. Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464, Vancouver www.atlantisprograms.com Club Aviva 604/526-4464, Coquitlam www.clubaviva.citysoup.ca Dynamo Swim Club 778/866-6604 www.dynamoswimclub.net The Edge Climbing Centre 604/984-9080 www.edgeclimbing.com Jump! Gymnastics 604/568-9690 www.jumpgymnastics.ca Kids in Motion 604/970-7945 www.kids-inmotion.ca
Vancouver Film School 604/685-5808
Marina’s Swim School 604/818-4650 www.marinaswimschool.com Marina’s Swim School is offering swim lessons for kids and adults of all ages and abilities. We have the unique style and methods, semi-private teaching environment, tropical warm water.
Midnight Cheer Athletics 604/263-6436 Vancouver www.midnightcheer.com
Sportball 604/688-3157 www.sportball.ca Sportball is a non-competitive sports program for children 16 months to 12 years. Children are introduced to eight popular sports: soccer, hockey, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis and golf. Sportball offers weekly programs, outdoor soccer, camps during school holidays, and birthday parties. Come try a free trial class! See our website for a location near you.
North Shore Equestrian Centre 604/988-5131 www.wecreateriders.com
Twin Rivers Equestrian Centre 604/574-5481 www.twinriversequestrian.com
Maynard’s Pony Meadows 604/261-1295
Quantum Gymnastics Centre 604/465-9293, Maple Ridge www.quantumgym.com RBL Basketball 604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295 www.RBLBasketball.ca Instructional programs, leagues, holiday camps for boys and girls from Kindergarten to Grade 10.
UBC Gymnastics 604/822-0207 Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics 604/737-7693 www.phoenixgymnastics.com White Rock Gymnastics 604/542-0386 www.whiterockgymnastics.com
OPEN HOUSE
January 21st – 6:30 pm Sitka Square location January 28th – 6:30 pm Jericho Hill location Come visit our classroom to learn about our school’s preschool and kindergarten programs. Adults only please.
Open the door to self-discovery!
FOR DETAILS VISIT
www.familymontessori.com
Classes for ages 2–19 in painting, drawing, sculpture, photography, computer arts, dance, theatre and music. Winter Session starts January 6, 2014!
604.681.5268
bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 15
Eat up! Natural remedies for common pregnancy ailments By Sarah Lindsey
G
lowing skin, doubled cup-size, and shiny hair are all commonly touted as side effects of pregnancy. But there are some other pregnancy symptoms usually kept on the quiet such as heartburn, nausea, and constipation. You know, the things no one ever really talks about when mentioning the lovely glow. The good news is that there are simple, natural remedies for these common pregnancy ailments… and you can find them all at your grocery store. Constipation
Your gestating body experiences an increase in progesterone, which causes digestion to slow down and intestinal muscles to relax. Also, your growing baby applies pressure to your lower abdomen and intestines, which can result in a fecal blockage. Vitamin supplements are also known to cause constipation, especially if the doctor prescribes that you take several together (such as iron, calcium, and other prenatal vitamins.) Remedy: The best solution for constipation is to avoid it in the first place. Do this by staying hydrated (drink at least eight cups of water daily), eating a well-balanced diet (full of fruits, veggies, and whole grains), and getting plenty of exercise. If it’s already too late, then try drinking a glass of prune juice, increasing your fiber and fluid intake, and taking a warm bath. THE PREGGO MAMA’S SUPERFOOD: GINGER
Heartburn Studies have shown ginger to be effective in relieving nausea and morning sickness. Emily Streich, LM, CPM, and instructor at Bastyr University, takes you beyond the ginger snap by sharing some different ways of adding ginger into your diet. • Use fresh grated ginger in cooking, (especially good in stir fries!) • Drink tea made from simmering fresh ginger in water for 10–20 minutes • Use powdered ginger in baking or cooking • Take ginger capsules
More ideas on how to incorporate ginger into your diet: add some ginger when juicing carrots, apples, or oranges: try a little ginger in your next coleslaw; experiment with fried bananas, ginger and a little brown sugar for dessert; try making ginger custard; and don’t forget pickled ginger with sushi.
16 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
Hormonal variations, such as the aforementioned increase in progesterone, are to blame for that horrible burning sensation in your throat and chest. The valve that normally prevents stomach acid from backing up into the esophagus relaxes, causing irritation. As your baby grows, an increasing amount of pressure is placed on your stomach and intestines, thereby passing stomach acids into your esophagus and causing heartburn. Remedy: Ginger, ginger, and ginger. Try brewing a nice, hot cup of tea. If you find warm drinks difficult to stomach, then consider a cold glass of ginger ale. You could also try snacking on ginger candy or ginger snaps. Another option is to take a papaya supplement with meals. Morning sickness and nausea
While no one really knows what causes “morning sickness” or nausea, it is likely a result of rapidly increasing hormones. An enhanced
sense of smell and a sensitive stomach also contribute to the problem. Some women experience nausea as a direct result of taking prenatal vitamins. Remedy: A simple switch from taking your vitamin supplements in the morning to taking them at night can sometimes solve the problem because by the time the queasiness kicks in, you will already be snoozing. The remedies for curing heartburn—ginger and papaya—also work wonders for curing morning sickness. Emily Streich, LM, CPM, and instructor at Bastyr University, says that if you are vomiting, fluid replacement and electrolyte replacement is important. An alternative to Gatorade is coconut water, which can be found in many natural food and grocery stores. Also sucking on ice cubes made of coconut water or weak red raspberry leaf tea can also help nausea while replacing some lost electrolytes. Diarrhea
While some women struggle with constipation throughout their entire pregnancies, you might experience the opposite extreme. This could be caused by an increase in exercise, diet changes, or even as a result of taking prenatal vitamins. Remedy: While these suggestions don’t make diarrhea go away, they will help you through the nasty experience. Plenty of water is necessary to keep you from getting dehydrated. Put down your pickles and ice cream and start eating the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.) Streich says, “Pumpkin is also a veggie that contains a lot of fiber and can be very good at firming stools, and yogurt contains many good probiotic bacteria which can help the digestive system.” Hemorrhoids
Hemorrhoids, blood vessels that become swollen, most often appear as a result of straining due to constipation. Remedy: “Trying to keep stools soft is the key to not worsening them, so make sure there is adequate fiber and water in the diet, and stop processed foods,” says Streich. Applying chilled witch hazel packs or soaking in a warm sitz bath can help alleviate the pain. Streich suggests holding a (cool) black tea bag on the area, which soothes and helps shrink them. You could also cut a potato in half and hold it on the area for the same effect. Yeast Infection
Due to higher estrogen levels during pregnancy, your vagina produces more glycogen, which creates a breeding ground for yeast. Remedy: Increase your dietary intake of foods containing liveactive yogurt cultures (such as cottage cheese, yogurt, and Kefir milk). According to Streich, miso, kimchi, and sauerkraut contain beneficial bacteria as well. Yeast feeds on sugar, so reduce your sugar intake while battling a yeast infection. Itchy Skin
Higher estrogen levels and stretched skin are at the root of your constant itch. Remedy: The best way to turn off the itch is to add more EFAs (essential fatty acids) to your diet. Streich says, “These can be in the form of fish oils from fatty fish that are low in heavy metals and
toxins such as sardines, wild salmon, and anchovies, or a plant based source such as flaxseed or flax oil.” Eating a balanced diet together with a few choice foods can prevent most of these ailments from even occurring. Streich notes the importance of maintaining a healthy and varied diet since it is “the building blocks used to grow a baby, and keep the mother strong and healthy through the pregnancy, birth, and beyond.”
SHOP TIME! Take this list with you next time you head to the market so you can stock up on these much-needed remedies. The prepared mama can avoid a lot of discomfort by having these on hand. REMEDIES Prune juice Ginger Papaya Coconut Water Red raspberry leaf tea Yogurt Pumpkin Black Tea Potato Sauerkraut Flaxseed Fatty fish (salmon, anchovies, etc.)
AILMENTS Constipation Heartburn, nausea Heartburn, nausea Nausea Nausea Diarrhea, yeast infection Diarrhea Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids Yeast infection Itchy skin Itchy skin
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bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 17
Saving our Sons A 10-step Plan to Keep them Nonviolent By Ted Zeff, Ph.D.
ncreased violence by young males is spinning out of control. Violence and violent images permeate our society. Boys are constantly bombarded with the false information that real boys must always be strong, aggressive, tough, in control, and repress their feelings. Boys are continually saturated with this distorted version of manhood from television and movies, video games, the Internet, peers, coaches, and other adults. In the last 15 years the violent video games and movies children have been exposed to have become more graphic than ever. And now the ubiquitous Internet allows our boys to be brainwashed constantly with horrific, savage images of what a man is supposed to be like. One study showed that children in North America between the ages of 5 and 18 have watched 20,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence on television. And violent media does spur reallife aggression. Research has consistently shown that after watching violent movies, children interact in an aggressive manner, while after watching movies about kindness, children treat one another with gentleness and compassion. The following are 10 steps you can take to help combat the culture of violence and raise a nonviolent son.
I
One study showed that children in North America between the ages of 5 and 18 have watched 20,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence on television.
1. Don’t tolerate someone shaming your son. Never tolerate anyone shaming your son when he expresses gentle, compassionate behaviour. Help your son understand the causes for society’s negativity toward gentleness in males and talk with your son about all of the positive aspects of being a compassionate boy. 2. Encourage nonviolent games and safety. Monitor your son’s exposure to violence as much as possible and provide nonviolent games and activities. Encour18 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
age your son to hang out with friends who enjoy lessviolent games. Frequently discuss the harmful effects that exposure to violence can have on him. Create safety for your son when he engages in potentially dangerous activities, i.e. establish rules for fair fighting when play wrestling and sword fighting with friends. 3. Give him a pet. Taking care of a pet not only teaches a boy responsibility, but through cuddling a kitten, for example, he will learn about the sanctity of all life. Caring for a pet will make him less likely to mistreat an animal. 4. Have him meet new people. Have your son interact with people of different faiths, nationalities, and races, to learn the commonality of humanity. 5. Embrace beauty. Expose your son to the arts and increase your son’s respect for Mother Nature by visiting an orchard, or nursery, spending time at a lake, river, or the ocean, or gardening. 6. Talk about what “being a man” means. For dads, talk often with your boy about what it really means to be a man. Reassure him that he doesn’t need the approval of aggressive boys, star athletes, or the alpha male to feel good about himself. Let your son know that it’s okay for him to express fear and sadness and ask for help. Discuss with your son the detrimental consequences of violent males being so frequently extolled in the media. Read books or watch movies with your son about the lives of great spiritual men, i.e. Jesus, St. Francis, Moses, the Buddha, and discuss how they have created peace on Earth through righteous behaviour. 7. Defend him. Make sure you always defend your boy if others shame him when he expresses his feel-
ings. Teach your son how to respond to aggressive children by role-playing with him. Model setting limits with others so that your son will learn how to set boundaries with violent peers. Let your son know that it’s okay to set personal boundaries with others rather than going along with peer pressure. 8. Increase his compassionate nature. To increase your son’s compassionate nature, plan activities with your son that help people, animals, and the environment, such as planting trees or cleaning up garbage in your community. Volunteer to help out in a hospital, nursing home, or animal shelter. If you have carpentry skills, you and your son could help a neighbour, friend, or relative fix up their house or your own house. 9. Try to make his school more boy-friendly. Since boys learn differently from girls, encourage your son’s teacher to incorporate more movement during instruction and take physical breaks between subjects, incorporating active learning games and more outdoor learning. Creating goals and using games will create motivation. Assemble a team of at least three parents of boys to meet with your son’s teacher and/ or principal (or your PTA) to discuss how to make your son’s class more boy-friendly.
10. Create a class constitution. Encourage your son’s teacher to create a class constitution with the help of the students, detailing how they should treat one another, and ask the teacher and students to sign it. Suggest that your son’s teacher give rewards to students for kindness and good sportsmanship. Ask your son’s teachers to read and discuss exciting tales that promote noble and brave qualities of heroes who help others. You and your son’s teacher should let him know that everyone has different abilities and interests and that those differences need to be respected. It’s tough raising an emotionally healthy, respectful and compassionate boy in a cruel culture that glorifies violence. But by listening to your son, showing him unconditional love and support, and giving him permission to express all his feelings, you can help him transcend this distorted and damaging view of manhood. And by doing so, he will grow into a happy, confident and thoughtful man.
By listening to your son, showing him unconditional love and support, and giving him permission to express all his feelings, you can help him transcend this distorted and damaging view of manhood.
Ted Zeff, Ph.D. is the author of Raise an Emotionally Healthy Boy: Save Your Son from the Violent Boy Culture. For more information please visit the Z-Shop (http://drtedzeff.com/zshop/) or Amazon.com.
Let your child’s dental visit be a positive experience. Prevention and maintenance of good oral health is our focus. LITTLE SMILES DENTAL CENTRE Dr. Jong Hyun Ban DDS, FRCD(C)
Certified Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry 3770 West 10th Ave Vancouver, BC
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(604) 222-2206
bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 19
Marpole Bilingual Montessori (Est. 1985) Pre-School, Junior Kindergarten & Kindergarten Celebrating Over 25 years of Montessori Teaching in the Community Our enriched Montessori curriculum includes: The Phonetic approach to Reading & Writing, Mathematics, Geography, Science, Music, Art, French, Yoga and a variety of Cultural subjects. Children are required to wear school uniforms. We offer 2-1/2 hour and 3-1/2 hour programs for 2-1/2 to 5 year olds as well as an Extended day program for 5 year olds. Private English Tutoring and Afterschool Phonics classes are also offered. 1296 W 67TH AVE., VANCOUVER, BC V6P 2T2 FOR AN APPOINTMENT PLEASE CALL TEL:
604-266-1091 쐍 EMAIL: bilingualmontessori@hotmail.com
www.marpolebilingualmontessori.com
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20 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
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Vitamin F: Faith have tried on a few styles of both faith & health in my day. All of which served me for a time. I’ve been a feminist, a church-goer, a vegetarian, a bit of a gym rat. But if you were to ask me how to define these words today I would whittle it down to saying faith is a belief and/or trust in something or someone; and health is a state of physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. For me, faith is a component of our health, and being healthy means knowing what you believe in. It means asking questions like: What do you believe to be true about your body? What do you believe to be true about health? Are there things that you need to feel healthy? What are they? Who do you trust to take care of your health? Mental health might be gleaned from a copy of ‘On the Road’ or a Psalm; physical health from an episode of Dr. Oz, a piece of dark chocolate or a 10K run; spiritual health from Ghandi or Oprah Winfrey. Each may have huge therapeutic value and instill a feeling or belief that we’ve found a key to unlocking another secret of health and forever happiness. Another question to consider is what we believe about our diagnosis and the labels given to our illnesses. Affectionately known as ‘ddx’, differential diagnosis is what doctors use to group symptoms together and give each batch of health troubles a name. The ‘differential’ part of the diagnosis means identifying your particular illness when multiple, often closely resembling alternatives are possible.
I
For example, if you woke up this morning with a sore throat and just want to sleep all day, it’s likely that you have a viral infection. But you could also have strep (a bacterial infection), or allergies, or maybe it’s just a product of all that karaokeing you did last night… Essentially, ddx is a process of elimination based on your history, symptoms, blood work, and any other scraps of information we can find in order to smack a label on your troubles. And smacking labels on things feels oh so good. It’s that feeling you get when you flip to the back of a textbook for the answer and find that you picked right! But did you? Does circling (b) really account for all things in a person? I believe we need to recognize that a major obstacle to cure can be the label of our illnesses. We may wind up living our dis-ease emphatically, to the point where those labels have been applied with industrial strength superglue. Caroline Myss calls this phenomoneon “Woundology”, which is a powerful and addictive way that we carry our wounds as protection. They become a source of comfort, define us, and are rarely allowed to be challenged. They seduce us into a false and subtle safety for our psyches, and this is dangerous territory for healing.
By Marisa Marciano
However, at times, ascribing a name to an uncertain set of symptoms can provide a great source of relief. When it has a name, it has a face. A face that we can choose to stand up to, or wear around like a mask. I don’t believe we are meant to stay wounded. By getting stuck there we fester and block our innate potential for growth & transformation. Whatever your creed, when it comes to your health, find what works for you. Whether it’s a yoga class for your back pain or a dose of tylenol, chances are that if you believe it will make you better, it will. But (and this is a big but), remember that health is a lot more than masking your physical symptoms, and trust has to be involved or else the therapeutic relationship could not exist. Keep the faith in those things that serve the whole you. If you start to feel misguided, revise and edit which beliefs are working for you, and set aside the ones that don’t. Find guidance in the kind of healing & healers that you believe in, so that your vision of health will be aligned. Chances are that their faith in you, and your faith in them, is going to make you feel a whole lot better.
Faith and prayer are the vitamins of the soul; man cannot live in health without them. —Mahalia Jackson
bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 21
My yoga mat by Lela Davidson
I
don’t want to brag, but on a good day I can almost put my foot behind my head. That’s how long I’ve been practicing yoga. For years I have been driving halfway across town at an inconvenient hour to some mint green room with a lavender candle, and a stack of Mexican blankets in the back. I love taking the class, but I’m rarely motivated to bust out a crow or a sun salutation on my own. Frustrated with my need for someone else to tell me when to breathe, I recently set out to cultivate a more personal practice, a home practice. I embarked on a six-week program of daily poses, to be attempted first thing each morning, long before my regular instructor had cued up the pan flute playlist. On day one, I got up all bright-eyed and ohm-y-tailed and progressed through the prescribed series of poses, congratulating myself on my ability to resist the temptation of the snooze bar and my fortitude in assuming the positions without external direction. Yay, Me! At the end of the strenuous postures came the time of relaxation. Savasana is also known as the Dead Man, or Corpse Pose. This is the best part of yoga practice as it consists entirely of lying on your mat doing nothing more strenuous than being aware of your breath. Even without an instructor’s prompts, I was nailing this pose. Unfortunately, it fell at just about the time the rest of the family’s alarm clocks chimed. This did not contribute to any sense of inner peace, as I imagined the kids finding me there in the hall, laid out on my mat like—well, like a corpse. I calculated the likelihood of their stepping on my head just because they could. Then I reminded myself to let those distractions go, to stay in the moment, focus on my breath, and whatever else that barefooted, do-ragged yogi on the cover of the book advised. But his Eastern wisdom was drowned out by thoughts of the morning chaos soon to come: Did you sign my slip? Where are my jeans? Why is this milk yellow? How was a girl to relax when so many demands loomed? And more important: what was that smell? I had to find a way to clear it all out. My stillness was at stake, and I’m nothing without personal 22 bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013
tranquility—plus three cups of coffee. It’s a miracle I was even awake at that hour, let alone that my senses were working. Especially smell. And this one was not good. All my downward dogging must have heated up the mat, releasing some kind of toxic resin. I should really get an organic mat. Or, you could just wash this one. Excuse me? What, am I talking to myself now? Can’t you see I’m trying to meditate here? What is that smell? Is that pee? Oh, please, Can we focus, for like five more minutes? Seriously. It’s pee. I’m telling you. Don’t be ridiculous. Why would anyone pee on our mat? Why would anyone put a salami sandwich in the dishwasher? Why would anyone freeze a spider? Why would anyone eat oysters from a can? We live among savages. Just then, amid the senseless mental chatter, a stronger, louder call to action: Serenity NOW! cried my inner George Costanza. Maybe he knew who peed on my yoga mat. I had to laugh. Up before dawn to steal time for an ancient practice, on a urine-soaked mat, and I am interrupted by Seinfeld? I must have needed the yoga more than I thought. I laughed some more. And then, in a moment of divine insight I remembered. Yes, that’s right. It was me. That one time? In hot flow class? When my warrior busted over into the next girl’s mat? And it was so funny? I peed on my yoga mat. (Note to self: Set up a calendar reminder for Kegels.) From now on I’ll stick to the spendy studio with the “suggested donation” basket. At least there I only have to worry about strangers stepping on my head, and they clean the communal mats every day. Even if I pee on them. Lela Davidson is the author of Blacklisted from the PTA, and Who Peed on My Yoga Mat? She continues to practice yoga for strength, flexibility, and most of all, humility. Lela’s thoughts on marriage, motherhood, and life-after-40 have appeared in hundreds of magazines, websites, and anthologies.
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Family package of 4 tickets (value over $340) to Goh Ballet’s The Nutcracker. Traditional, classical and impossibly pretty—Goh Ballet’s The Nutcracker is a holiday tradition in the most beloved sense sure to delight the entire family. Featuring enchanting choreography by Emmy Award and Dance Magazine Award recipient, Anna-Marie Holmes, and performed to live musical accompaniment of the Vancouver Opera Orchestra, this dazzling production is filled with over 200 glittering characters. In addition, world-renowned Principal Dancers from the Royal Danish Ballet will make their Vancouver debut. December 14, 15, 20, 21 & 22 Matinees & Evenings, at The Centre in Vancouver, 777 Homer St. www.gohnutcracker.com Tickets through Ticketmaster.ca Child, Senior & Student discounts available
Visit www.bcparent.ca to enter Contest ends December 5th bcparent.ca • holiday issue 2013 23