spring issue 2013 www.bcparent.ca
Raising Grateful Children
Date Night Summer
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inside ... 4 Moon Teeth The journey into womanhood
6 Raising Kind and Grateful Children Does your child feel entitled?
Making the decision
14 Parting with the Pacifier
17 The Gift of Summer Camp Five benefits of attending summer camp
BC Parent Newsmagazine
18 Summer Camp Guide
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Spring Issue 2013 Volume 22, Number 2
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How to break the habit
9 Date Night Stoking the hearth of the home
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12 Circumcision
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moon teeth By Heather Lee Leap
y children are like sunflowers in August; I turn my head and they seem to have grown taller. I find myself mock-shouting at them, “Stop growing!” They grin and sidle up to me, their hands held like visors at their foreheads, estimating how soon they will be taller than I am. At fourteen, my daughter Olivia has to bend down to kiss me on the nose. Some of her glee has mellowed now that she is accustomed to towering four inches above me. The thrill has been tempered by the increasing responsibility and higher expectations we impose on her and which she chooses for herself as she gets older. That poised young woman who is fierce on the soccer field and aces all her classes is still a little girl though, one who needs to play and shout, cry and be goofy.
M
When Olivia was nearly twelve, she came to me exclaiming that she had a loose tooth. “Is it supposed to be loose? Don’t wiggle it!” I cautioned. Her little sisters looked like jack-o-lanterns, but she hadn’t lost a tooth in ages. She insisted this was a baby tooth; it wasn’t way in the back with those late-arriving permanent molars. I still discouraged her from wiggling it. The next day it came out anyway, well within its rights. The following week, my girl with the missing tooth had her first period. I’d just been chatting with another mom about our growing girls, about being the mothers of middle-school girls, speculating when they would hit this milestone. I’d felt like it was imminent, my friend thought it would be months yet for her own daughter. Call it maternal instinct: somehow we were tuned into the signs. I was relieved that
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I managed to hide my own menarche baggage when Olivia called, “Mom…?” in a wavering voice from behind the closed bathroom door. I tucked my negative memories away to address some other time and welcomed my daughter into her new status. She recovered quickly from the initial mess and awkwardness and was proud and bouncy, wide-eyed and smiling. In a tiny nod to a coming-of-age ceremony, we went together to get her ears pierced the next day. A week later my newly minted young woman lost another baby tooth. How grateful I was for those teeth. Like parentheses, they enclosed the experience, reminding me to hold my daughter close as she makes this journey into womanhood. I felt pulled by the tides, back and forth between her childhood and her nascent adulthood. My daughter’s tiny milk teeth seemed tangible evidence of her emotional state. They became a talisman for the hormonal waves we will ride throughout her adolescence and stand as a reminder to me that these are tug-of-war years during which she will slip back and forth, at one moment a little girl, at the next, a young woman. More than a year passed, and my girl/woman learned to anticipate her periods and plan ahead. One evening she rummaged in the bathroom cupboard
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for pads to stash in her backpack for school, and then went to brush her teeth. She came to me a few minutes later. Hand extended with something in her palm, she said with a casual smile, “Oh, Mom, by the way, I lost another tooth.” “What are you, five?” I exclaimed, eyebrows raised. “Go put it in the tooth pillow.” I nodded toward the hall closet. She paused and gazed at me, her head tilted to one side. In the warm silence between us there was room for the tooth fairy. She turned and pulled the tiny silk fairy pillow off the closet shelf, tucking the tooth in the pocket. Still smiling she rolled her eyes at me and put the pillow in its place of honor on the windowsill. Olivia isn’t five, of course, though she still seems to grow overnight. One Saturday morning she glared at us, tired and crabby. Tired myself, I wanted to bark at her to cut us some slack, but instead I paused. I looked at her looming over her sisters and stopped. “Go eat something,” I said. “I swear you were not this tall yesterday. You’re growing too fast; it’s making you grumpy. Go eat!” She groaned and glared, then smiled with just one corner of her mouth before pulling a package of English muffins out of the drawer. Heather Lee Leap in a freelance writer and mother to three girls. She and her husband would like them to stay little forever, but they are not cooperating.
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Raising Kind and Grateful Children On average, grateful kids are more optimistic, resilient and forgiving with fewer behaviour problems—but can we deliberately foster this positive attitude?
By Bev Yaworski
T
welve-year old Doug was definitely not thrilled or grateful when he received clothes for some of his Christmas presents. Upset, he ran to his room, closed the door and pouted for hours—putting a damper on the family’s holiday festivities. In an online parenting chatroom, a mother writes: “I’m concerned about my young daughter’s selfish attitude. She recently had a birthday, and as soon as she was finished unwrapping her gifts, she started looking around for more!” Another parent says: “we surprised our son with basketball tickets when he got home from school today, but all he could do was complain about the 30 minute car ride to get there.” And what parent hasn’t been badgered by their child’s repetitive demands for an expensive toy, the latest i-Phone or designer running shoes. Do these family situations sound familiar? Can you hear yourself saying: “my kids don’t appreciate what we do for them. If they would just say thank you and mean it.” Well, you are not alone, as a group of parents discovered at a Vancouver parenting program presented by Dr. Carla Fry, a child & youth psychologist. Speaking
on the topic of “How To Raise A Kind and Grateful Child In An Era of Entitlement,” Dr. Fry offered valuable insights into how to foster gratitude in a family. Dr. Fry is conducting research with parents into the topic of gratitude and entitlement for an upcoming book. Her research shows that as parents and caregivers, we
My daughter recently had a birthday, and as soon as she was finished unwrapping her gifts, she started looking around for more!”
may unknowingly be coaching and shaping our childrens’ behaviour and encouraging them to be ungrateful or to feel entitled. There are also many outside influences that can cause a child’s ungratefulness, including movies, tv, peers, music, teachers and family. Fortunately, there are also practical tips that can be used to counter some of these psychological forces.
Gratitude and Entitlement
Dr. Fry emphasizes that a good starting point when approaching this topic is to ask yourself: “What do you want for your child? Is it happiness, success, freedom, power, kindness or other qualities?” Clarifying these qualities with your child will help guide what you can do to encourage the development of gratefulness in your kids and nurture their ability to feel compassion and empathy for you and for others. It’s important to get a clear definition of the concepts of gratitude and entitlement. According to Psychology Today, gratitude is an emotion expressing appreciation for what one has. It’s more than just saying the words “thank you.” It’s about actually feeling thankful. In contrast, entitlement refers to a notion or belief that one (or oneself ) is “deserving” of some particular reward or benefit without earning it. Why is it important that children learn to feel grateful and kind? Research shows that grateful kids experience greater happiness and life satisfaction. They are more optimistic, resilient and forgiving. They are less depressed and have fewer behaviour problems. Entitled kids, in contrast, are more demanding, whiny and have more life problems. Misguided Efforts
“We know that parents have really been trying,” says Dr. Fry, “But some of the entitlement issues are coming from misguided efforts, when parents thought they were making a good call. Most of the challenges come from parents really caring and thinking and reading and feeling like they were doing the right things.” Some of the misguided efforts include: • Needs always met: Meeting kids needs even before they know they have them. • Overdoing praise: that is, giving praise out of proportion to the child’s effort or results.
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• Modeling: what parents might be doing or saying that kids then observe and imitate. Some examples—implying that what the family has is not good enough, the grass is greener elsewhere, envying other’s situations. • Empathy: teaching your kids that they should be given first priority in community situations—for example, insisting they have the lead in a school play or pushing for them to be on the first line of a hockey team. • Teaching children social skills so that they will be liked rather than teaching social skills to care for others. How To Foster Kindness and Gratitude
Dr. Fry and her associate psychologist Dr. Lisa Ferrari have developed some helpful suggestions for parents to use to promote gratefulness in kids and nurture a child’s ability to feel compassion and empathy for you and for others. These guidelines can be applied in an age appropriate manner. • Resist the temptation to predict and provide for all of your child’s needs. • Give appropriate praise by praising a child’s efforts and process rather than the person. • Say NO: make giving something for nothing a rarity not a norm, but say NO in a caring way, not with anger. • Educate about the worth of things. For example, take your kids to a store to show them the value of things and help them understand how much work you or they would have to do to earn the item.
• Natural consequences. Show kids what happens when they leave their dirty clothes on the floor and then don’t have clean clothes to wear; or show what happens when they don’t finish their school homework. • Gratitude journal: writing down what you and your children are grateful for gives
maximum force and impact in terms of getting positive results for fostering kindness and gratitude. “Each family is going to do this differently,” emphasizes Dr. Fry, “And it really needs to be tweaked according to the anxiety level of your child. Use a gentle touch.”
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Resources Dr. Carla Fry www.drcarlafry.com Roots of Empathy by Mary Gordon www.rootsofempathy.org Thnx4 is a sharable online gratitude journal — www.thnx4.org BC Psychological Association www.psychologists.bc.ca
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No matter how long they have been together, couples need sparks, creativity and fun in their relationship. As the years pass, they need it even more.
DateNight Stoking the hearth of the home
By Judy Arnall n the movie, Date Night, the characters played by Steve Carell and Tina Fey, are in a long term relationship that they try to spice up by going out to dinner once a week on a date night. The trouble is that their date night is, monotonously predictable: they go to the same restaurant and order the same food on the same night. They start to notice the sameness when they become a little too clichéd even for their own taste by talking about the variation of the chicken quality instead of their feelings, week by week. One night, they do something different—they dress up, pick a new restaurant and go to dinner in the city for a change. What happens next is hilarious and they end up with an incredible evening tale—probably one that no couple would wish for—but the end result was that they had a renewed sense of each other as the people they loved—not just roles such as parents, children, siblings, etc, although those roles were strengthened as well. No matter how long they have been together, couples need sparks, creativity and fun in their relationship. As the years pass, they need it even more. For centuries, organized religion has discovered that people need continuous affirmation of their faith in the form of weekly rituals such as church attendance. Relationships need the same kind of tendering and care. Regular meetings are required in order to talk, have fun, and spend time together. We know that friendships survive on shared interests, yet, as soon as we partner up with our very best
I
friend, we tend to settle into domestic boredom and let the shared interests slide. Every relationship has peaks and valleys—moments where love is overwhelming and moments when you seriously wonder why you are still with him or her. Couples need to remind themselves of the qualities that they saw in each other at the beginning of the relationship, and what they still love about each other. This is even more critical when mortgages, pets, children, jobs, laundry, broken appliances, normal conflicts and elderly caretaking occur alongside the couple relationship. These are normal stresses, but they can be overwhelming in a relationship without some nurturing buffers such as date night and time together.
Research shows that the first five years of a relationship are the most difficult because of career building demands, money woes, and especially the parenting of babies and toddlers. The lack of sleep, child tantrums, worry, and differing parenting styles, can tear down the closeness and caring of even the most loving of couples as we tend to take our parenting frustrations out on each other, rather than the children. This can be toxic to relationships. We need frequent reminders to be kind and caring to each other, in the good times and especially in the challenging times. As kids get older and easier to parent, relationships naturally improve, but take a dip again in the teen years. This coincides with menopause, career peaking, bcparent.ca • spring 2013
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travel, and mid-life crisis issues. We may start to look around the buffet table, even though we are on a diet! The parenting of teens can be challenging and adds to the stress. Couples need to put more work into their relationship at this stage, similar to the first five years. Research shows that after the teen stage, relationships improve and enrich. That’s a no-brainer, because parenting is so much “done”. We started our own date night when we had three children under three and felt we were losing the essence of “us” in the dreary day to day details of domestic life. We made a point of hiring a standing sitter to come every Tuesday evening. Some days we were so tired, we blearily welcomed in our sitter,
grabbed our pillows and headed to the parked car in the driveway for a blissful, uninterrupted nap. People would question the cost of a standing sitter but we considered it a financial investment. Research shows that divorce is the single most disastrous event that devastates couples’ finances and wealth, and in light of that, we felt that hiring a weekly sitter made sound financial sense. Not only did we fund her college education, the kids actually enjoyed the sitter coming, since we didn’t have any grandparents or relatives to take over. She was fun, responsible and became an extended family member. The kids loved the new video games she brought each week. It was hard when the young babies and
toddlers were going through separation anxiety. Although we are both attachment parents, their crying seemed to bother me more than my partner. I would like to say the decision was easy, but like many grey areas in life, sometimes I felt that I couldn’t leave the kids and so I discussed with my husband some ways to stay at home and not leave them, and he was sensitive to my needs. Other times, I realized his needs had to come first and we absolutely needed some time alone for the sake of our relationship or we might not make it through another week. Desperate, we would say goodbye to the kids as gently as we could, and walk out the door. Like any relationship, we had to see whose needs were para-
Ideas for Date Nights Date Night-Out Ideas Live theatres (high schools and smaller troupes have cheap or no cost nights) Concerts (check out university and community bands) Parks and reserves offer boating rentals Go out for a coffee or a beer at the local pub Movie in the park Picnics everywhere Dinner crawl—go to several restaurants for appetizer, salad, main and dessert. Pub hopping downtown Educational: visit the zoo, museum, library or science centre Wine tasting events Couple massage Pottery painting Classes Friends’ house party Go out for breakfast or meet for lunch “Lovers or couples” trade show Comedy theatre, Pecha Kucha, MoMondays Bike ride, either cycle or motorcycle Drive-in or movie-in-the-park Pick up take-out and watch the planes land at the airport Go-carting or laser tag Shakespeare or other plays “in the park” Fitness: gym date, bowling, rock climbing, yoga, roller skating, golf, hiking, or simply running
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Lectures (check out libraries, universities and bookstores) Volunteer together such as canvassing, working at the food bank and places where you can talk and have fun Window shop Ride the city trains—bring a snack and have a train picnic Date Night-In Ideas Snuggle in bed with a movie and a picnic of wine, bread and cheese Dinner and movie at home with a theme such as French night—have crepes and watch “Le Chocolat” Board or card game night Dance Bake cookies Play video games Read together in the bathtub, with candles, salts and wine Grab a pillow and blanket and sleep in the car with the baby monitor on Pick up books from the library and have a read-in around the fireplace Sit around the fire-pit outside and make marshmallows or hot dogs Relax in the hot tub Be a kid again and use the trampoline (or just lie on it and watch the stars), swing set, or swimming pool
Turn off all the lights and sit in the dark and watch the animal world outside Bring out photo albums or watch photos and videos on the big screen at home Date Night — No-Sitter-Available Ideas Take car rides and walks (kids will either fall asleep or be entertained by the DVD player you bring). Go to places like Ikea, McDonalds, airports and children’s hospitals. Grab a coffee and a bench and utilize the play places to keep your kids entertained where you can talk but keep an eye on the children. Go to Chapters or other book stores and plunk the kids in the Kids section with an assortment of books. Grab the in-house coffee and find a nearby seat. Set the alarm early and have coffee on the porch and watch the sun come up together. Take the kids to the playground and have a picnic for you two. If your kids are school-aged, book two tables at a restaurant at least 10 yards apart. Sit your kids at one table, and you and your partner at another. Monitor them from afar. Pretend you are the Aunt and Uncle so you don’t worry about their behavior (works even better with teens).
mount at that moment, and meet them. That’s real life and the eighth principle of attachment parenting. When we phoned ten minutes later, the kids usually had settled in with the sitter, and most often, we had a great evening, a heartfelt talk—and the kids were okay. We felt that a strong parenting partnership was the greater good for all concerned in the long run. As it is with many parenting decisions, the question of when and how to leave the children is decided taking into consideration what is best for the family at the time. We felt a critical aspect of parenting is giving the kids a role model for respectful relationships and a blueprint for keeping love, passion and companionship alive in long term, monogamous relationships, whether that followed a traditional husband-wife marriage or domestic partnership between consenting, loving adults, whatever gender. We try to hash out conflicts in front of the kids as well as resolve and make up too. We also need to show them that parents are humans too. In addition to date night, we also have private time on our own. We have Mom’s night out (mommy goes to the movies or book club with her friends) and Dad’s day out (dad goes out to play volleyball with his friends). People need to care for themselves in order to care for others. We also have kid date night (although I can’t call it that anymore with the teens around) where one of us or both will take each kid out one-on-one for some special time. They get to pick what we will do. We mark off their birth date on the calendar each month and then everyone knows that is the date to keep clear. For example, my son was born on September 4th so every 4th of the month is his day. In the early days, with my partner working out of town, I would get a sitter to stay with the other kids. That monthly ritual made an amazing difference in our parent-child communication and really cut down on sibling fighting. Twenty four years later, we are still going strong. With five children, some of who are teens and adults, we no longer need sitters. Spontaneity is back. We can suggest a movie to each other, and be out the door in five minutes, just like we did BC (before children). We even put some friendly daring into the mix—once we parked in the expec-
tant parent’s parking spot at the movie theatre and then ordered the seniors rate movie tickets to get in! Don’t tell the kids! The “Date Night” Rules
Together, choose an evening of the week for date night, but make it consistently the same day of the week or it gets left by the wayside. If you have children, hire a standing sitter to come each week at the same time. Try to get a sitter who drives and pay the sitter well. If finances are a problem, join a babysitting co-op and trade tokens. If separation anxiety is a problem, plan date nights at home when the children are asleep. Each partner takes a turn planning the date, executing, driving, and paying. The other partner is the guest. Then, the next week, switch roles. It’s more fun to keep plans a secret until you are both in the car or it’s the time of the date. Surprise is part of the fun! The planner should hire the sitter and feed the kids before you go out. Look your best, even for home dates. The only information the guest needs to know is what to wear and if they should eat before going out. Try to plan an evening without friends, so that intimate subjects can be addressed if need be. Some subjects are difficult to bring up, but with time and space, it’s better to broach the subjects and give it air time, than to bury it. Couples who bury critical conversations end up with nothing to talk about in the later years and drift apart. Be tolerant and enjoy the evening as much as possible knowing that your partner put a lot of effort into making it special for you, even if they didn’t quite nail it that week. Have a look at the date night suggestions in this article. For more ideas, visit our blog, Date Night YYC (http://datenightyyc.word press.com/about/) which is continually updated. Even though the ideas are for Calgary and area, they are easily transferable to any city. If you have young children, check out the blog entry on how to start a Baby Sitting Co-op. Happy dating! Judy Arnall is a conference speaker, family communications trainer, and bestselling author of “Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery.” She is co-founder of Attachment Parenting Canada which offers webinars on various parenting topics, www.attachmentparenting.ca and www.professionalparenting.ca Her date night blog is at http://datenightyyc .wordpress.com/about/
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Circumcision Making the decision uring your lifetime as a responsible parent, you will make countless choices on behalf of your children. Yet parents of boys are faced with an extra decision to make: circumcision. Like most decisions, this one is not to be taken lightly, but with the advent of the Internet and so much information and misinformation readily available, it is getting harder for parents to choose wisely. So it is important to know the facts. Crucially, what exactly is circumcision? According to the Canadian Pediatric society (CPS), “Circumcision of baby boys is a surgical procedure to remove the layer of skin (called the foreskin or the prepuce) that covers the head (glans) of the penis and part of the shaft. It is most often done during the first few days after birth.” The CPS website also says, “Circumcision is a “non-therapeutic” procedure, which means it is not medically necessary. Parents who decide to circumcise their newborns often do so for religious, social or cultural reasons. To help make the decision about circumcision, parents should have information about risks and benefits. It is helpful to speak with your baby’s doctor.” Currently in Canada, about a third of all baby boys are circumcised
D
While medical opinions regarding circumcision are based on scientific research, families often make the choice to circumcise their sons based on their own, very personal beliefs.
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By Nicola Enright-Morin
each year, although these numbers vary across the country. Because it is an elective procedure, it is not always covered financially by medical plans. Current costs of new infant circumcision range in price from $250–$450. Doctor Neil Pollock, a leading Canadian expert in circumcision has performed over 35,000 circumcisions in the past twenty years. He says that when it comes to circumcision, it is vital that parents stay informed, “They should look at the most up-to-date medical information, that is free of bias. I would advise them to read the most recent policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), which was released in September of 2012.” Specifically, the AAP statement looks at the health benefits, including a lower risks urinary tract infections (UTI) in an infants first year of life, as well as a lower risk of acquiring HIV, genital herpes, human papilloma virus and syphilis. Circumcision also lowers the risk of penile cancer over a lifetime and can reduce the risk of cervical cancer in sexual partners. Although the AAP statement highlights the benefits of circumcision, it stops short of recommending routine circumcisions and says the procedure should continue to remain a choice. The Canadian Society of Pediatrics (CPS) is currently in the process of revising their policy statement and this is due to be released sometime in the coming months. Dr. Glen Ward, Chair of the CPS Public Education Advisory Committee, and a pediatrician in Surrey, B.C, says that when weighing up the choices for their sons, people should do what is right for their family “The main message is that the CPS very much advocates parental choice.” He also says that if circumcision is something that parents do chose for their sons, then they should chose a doctor wisely. He recommends finding someone with a lot of experience, which will reduce the chance of complications. Generally speaking, circumcision is very safe when done by a trained practioner, and its risks of complications are low and very rare. However, like any medical procedure, there are risks involved and about one in every 500 babies suffers minor complications, like bleeding or an infection. In terms of the procedure itself, not all circumcisions are created equal. There are a few different methods, so as a parent, it pays to do your homework. That way your child will have the least traumatic experience possible. While medical opinions regarding circumcision are based on scientific and meticulously gathered research, by contrast, families often make the choice to circumcise their sons based on their own, very personal beliefs. Claire Murray, a mother of two from Coquitlam, says that when her son, now six-years-old, was born, she automatically got him circumcised. “For us and our family it wasn’t even a question of whether he
was going to be circumcised or not. His Dad was, his uncles were, all the men in the family are and I just wanted my son to be the same.” Claire says that she is content with the decision that she made on behalf of her son and would make the same choice again, as she feels circumcision is also an issue of hygiene and in her opinion, a circumcised penis is cleaner. For many families, the new research citing the benefits of circumcision is not a strong enough argument for them to get their son circumcised. For when you crunch the numbers, apart from the lower risk of urinary tract infections, many of the benefits are related to sexual activity and for a lot parents that is a decision best left to their son when he is ready. Many people also argue that it is unethical to make such a decision on behalf of a child and that to do so is a violation of human rights. Maggie Coombes, a new Mom from Kitsilano, says that although she and her husband spent a lot of time discussing the issue, she left the final decision to her husband and he was strongly opposed to the idea of circumcising their 7½ month-old son. “I felt that circumcision wasn’t medically necessary and it is also not a part of my husband’s culture. My husband was pretty adamant that we didn’t get Liam circumcised. And because it meant a lot to him, I respected his choice and I’m happy with that. I also didn’t want to put our son through any pain at the beginning of his life and I also felt it was his body and his choice and not really my decision to make.” Ultimately, just with any choice that you make on behalf of your children, circumcision is something you should consider with the best interests of your child in mind.
WIN
2 tickets to Ballet BC’s premiere of Giselle
Ballet BC premieres Giselle, a legendary ballet presented with a contemporary point-of-view by Resident Choreographer José Navas at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre from April 25-27, 2013 for three evening performances at 8 pm. Visit www.bcarent.ca to enter. Contest ends April 15th.
bcparent.ca • spring 2013
13
Ready to help your child give up a pacifier? Here are some tips for navigating the tricky transition.
Parting with the Pacifier: How to break the habit By Malia Jacobson
W
hether they’re crystal clear, neon-bright, or covered in rhinestones, pacifiers are the modern baby’s accessory of choice. Thanks to studies showing that they reduce the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), most pediatricians have given pacifiers the green light. A study in Pediatrics found that a whopping 68 percent of parents give them to their babies before six weeks of age. Babies aren’t the only ones who love them; parents quickly become addicted to the pacifier’s soothing effects on their offspring. Unfortunately, it often becomes a habit that overstays its welcome. Why Wean?
While some children give up non-nutritive or comfort sucking on their own, others cling to the habit well into the preschool years. According to Lotus Su, D.D.S., of Pediatric Dental Associates, using a pacific too much or for too long can contribute to dental problems, including deformation the palate and shift14 bcparent.ca • spring 2013
ing of the teeth, as well as mouth breathing and dry mouth, which may increase susceptibility to tooth decay. Many doctors and dentists recommend ending the habit before permanent front teeth begin to emerge, which can happen before kindergarten. “I recommend stopping pacifier use by age three,” says Dr. Su. “The earlier a pacifier habit is stopped, the less likely that there will be any dental problems.” Potential problems extend beyond the teeth. Pacifier use is associated with otitis media, or middle ear infections. Minor health upsets like gastrointestinal infections and oral thrush are also more commonly seen in pacifier users. Parents may be swayed by medical data and dentists’ recommendations, but kids often need some coaxing to give up the long-held habit. Guilt-inducing lectures about dental problems or germs may be counterproductive, causing them to dig in their heels. Instead, help them become confidently pacifier-free with these tactics.
Literary Loss. Before embarking on a pacifier-purge, check out some children’s books on the topic. After listening to stories like The Last Noo-Noo by Jill Murphy or Pacifiers Are Not Forever by Elizabeth Verdick, your child may be more receptive to the idea. Pacifier Bear. When three-year-old Violet was ready to give up her pacifier, mom Bec Langham took her to a popular build-your-own-stuffed-animal store. Violet deposited her last pacifier safely inside the teddy bear before it was sewn up. The bear now serves as both a cuddly friend and a unique reminder of Violet’s younger days. Baby Charity. Your child may be willing to donate her pacifiers to a good cause. Gather up the pacifiers, and pay a visit to a friend with a young baby. Have your child “gift” the baby with the pacifier collection, and shower her with praise for her generosity. The Paci Fairy. Steal this idea from Supernanny Jo Frost: have your child place his pacifiers in a large envelope to mail to the “pacifier fairy.” Put the envelope in the mailbox together before bed. Once he’s asleep, swap the envelope for a new toy. When he wakes up, excitedly take him to the mailbox to find his new treasures.
Make the Cut. Snipping a small hole in a pacifier can help it lose its appeal quickly, encouraging a child to give it up on his own. Be sure to dispose of a broken pacifier promptly, because it can harbor bacteria or become a choking hazard if a child continues to use it. Out of Sight, Out of Mind. Parents seeking the quickest route to pacifier-freedom can simply throw them all away. Kelly Stallings opted for the cold-turkey approach with daughter Taylor. “The first night was rough, but after that, she didn’t care,” she says. Just make sure to get rid of each and every one, so your child isn’t tempted to relapse (and you’re not tempted to cave). No matter how stubbornly your child clings to a beloved binky, eventually it will be a thing of the past. Once your child is free of the pacifier habit, you’re free as well—from relentlessly searching for them, washing them, and buying them. Enjoy your well-earned liberation. At least, until the next musthave item comes along.
Parents may be swayed by medical data and dentists’ recommendations, but kids often need some coaxing to give up the longheld habit.
Malia Jacobson is a nationally published sleep expert, health journalist, and mom. She blogs about sleep and family health at www.thewellrestedfamily.com.
WIN a V.I.P. Family Pass to the 2013 R2R Film Festival
This unlimited pass for a family of four (valued at $47) is valid at all regular Festival screenings, including the Pajama Party and other public events (excluding Opening Night Screening and Gala, and pre-registered workshops).
Visit bcparent.ca to enter Contest ends April 5th
bcparent.ca • spring 2013
15
VASECTOMY No-Scalpel No-Needle No Metal Clips
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16 bcparent.ca • spring 2013
GI VE
YO U
LAN RC ND HILD O C E THE GIFT OF A S
E AG U G
The ability to learn languages is highest between birth and age 6. Our French-English preschool program maximizes a child’s natural curiosity and ability to learn a second language during this important window of opportunity. • Established in 1962 • Caring, experienced & highly qualified bilingual teachers • Bright, extra-spacious classrooms • Private indoor & outdoor play areas • Introduction to French, reading, math, science and nature, music, crafts • Educational field trips Accepting Wait List Applications for SY 2014-15 VANCOUVER BILINGUAL PRESCHOOL 949 West 49th Avenue (at Oak St.) Vancouver, BC V5Z 2T1 Phone/Fax: 604.261.1221 vancouverbilingual@yahoo.ca
•
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THE GIFT OF
Summer Camp By Gayla Grace treasure the stories my children tell after arriving home from summer camp. The week-long adventures include experiences sure to build character and bond relationships. Every camp has a unique way of teaching kids their value while giving them opportunities to experience all kinds of fun they would never find at home. The spring months are the perfect time to begin exploring summer camps. To find one that fits your child’s needs, seek out opinions from friends and neighbors; ask teachers and church counselors what camps they recommend. Whether day camp or overnight camp, there’s sure to be one your child will love and gain valuable skills from while attending. Camp counselor Jamie Newman, who has worked the past two summers at a children’s camp for kids ages 5–16, expresses her enthusiasm for sending kids to camp. She says, “Camp encourages kids to try new things and teaches them confidence through new experiences. They learn valuable life lessons when encouraged to work through their fears and try something even if it doesn’t feel comfortable to them. Also, when kids are thrown together in a cabin for a week, they’re forced to learn how to get along with others and often build lasting relationships that can continue when they return home.” Our five kids have attended summer camps ranging from athletic camps to church camps to choir and band camps. Each camp plays a unique role in building character qualities and creating life-long memories through everyday activities and interactions with others. If you need some encouragement to give your child the gift of summer camp, here are a few thoughts to consider: 1) Camp encourages independence and allows children a chance to make decisions on their own in a safe, caring environment. Kids benefit from new relationships with camp counselors who care about them and want to help them with everyday struggles.
CONTEST
I
2) Camp forces kids to unplug from technology and enjoy the beauty and benefits of nature. Through outside activities, kids find new hobbies they can’t experience at home, without academic pressure or expectations. Kids gain self-confidence through trying new things and discovering talents they didn’t know they had. 3) Camp teaches good sportsmanship by encouraging each child to be fair and kind, win or lose. Team activities teach kids how to cooperate with another and the value of getting along with others through working together and supporting one another. 4) Camp fosters new friendships with kids who come from varying backgrounds—helping kids gain an understanding of how others live outside their community. In a relaxed atmosphere, kids easily make friends while they play, sing, work, eat, and bunk together. 5) Camp creates life-long memories of new adventures in places they’ve never experienced before. Camp offers carefree days where kids can learn how to thrive outside the structure of overscheduled days. So what are you waiting for? Have you signed your child up for camp yet? There’s week-long adventure and character-building experiences waiting for your child this summer! Gayla Grace is a freelance writer, wife and mom to five children who attend camp every summer.
Don’t miss your chance to win a family package of 4 tickets (valued at $280) to Goh Ballet’s 35th Anniversary Gala – Dance My Dreams on June 1st 2013 at the Centre in Vancouver for Performing Arts. This mixed repertoire production features George Balanchine’s Walpurgisnacht, the world premiere of Sasha Evtimova’s Wonderland as well as August Bournonville’s Napoli Act III. It will be a dazzling night out at the ballet for one lucky family! Tickets are available through www.ticketstonight.ca or by calling 1.877.840.0457. More info at www.gohballet.com. Contest ends May 15th • Visit www.bcparent to enter. bcparent.ca • spring 2013
17
summer camp guide art, music, drama & dance
year, for more information visit our website: danceco.com
The Arts Connection 604/241-0141, Richmond www.theartsconnection.ca
Evergreen Cultural Centre 604/927-6555, Coquitlam www.evergreenculturalcentre.ca
Arts Umbrella 604/681-5268, Vancouver www.artsumbrella.com Get inspired this summer! Through hands-on visual, media and performing arts programs, children and youth ages 3–19 are immersed in creative, discovery and fun. Registration available now! Classes also available year round. Check the website for details.
Gateway Academy’s Summer Camp 604/247-4975, Richmond www.gatewaytheatre.com
Bard on the Beach: Young Shakespeareans 604/737-0625, Vancouver www.bardonthebeach.org Our Young Shakespeareans workshops deliver an interactive fun-filled theatrical adventure. Professional actors lead dynamic workshops on the Bard stages all summer. Camp Monarch, Music, Art & Dance 604/723-8151, North Vancouver www.campmonarch.ca Cowboys and Angels 604/568-6673 www.cowboysandangels.ca Dance Co 604/736-3394 Dance Co provides unparalleled dance training for all ages and levels. Providing technique and performance while developing confidence and creativity. Programs start throughout the
Goh Ballet 604/872-4014 admin@gohballet.com Join us this summer to experience unique and enriching ballet and creative movement workshops designed specifically for budding dancers ages 4–7.Call or email to register. Jean Lyons School of Music 604/734-4019 www.jeanlyonsmusic.com Place des Arts Art Centre & Music School 604/664-1636, Coquitlam www.placedesarts.ca Have fun and bring home your very own masterpiece! Place des Arts provides high quality arts education in small classes for all ages and abilities. Register now for spring session classes in the visual and performing arts. Prussin Music 604/736-3036 www.prussinmusic.com Want to play in a Jazz Ensemble? Interested in Fiddle orSongwriting? How about Girls with Guitars or Campfire Songs? Does Music for Children sound interesting? All at Prussin this summer.
18 bcparent.ca • spring 2013
StageCoach Theatre Arts 877/78-STAGE (78243) www.stagecoachschools.ca Sing, Dance, Act! For 4–18 yr olds. The world’s largest part-time theatre school network, with over 700 locations worldwide in 10 countries! We offer classes in Singing, Dancing and Drama every weekend alongside the school term as well as week long summer camps. Schools throughout the Lower Mainland; Vancouver Eastside/Westside, Richmond, Surrey, Langley, Coquitlam Stagecraft Theatre Schools Ltd. 604/267-7287 www.stagecraft.ca Vancouver/North Shore/West Van Week-long Summer Camps with BC’s Biggest Musical Theatre School for Children! Camps for ages 6–14. For more info please call 604/267-7287 or visit www.stagecraft.ca “Summer in the City” weekly Art Camps 604/737-2636, Suzy Birstein www.suzybirstein.com Summer Music at UBC 604/822-3113 www.summer.music.ubc.ca The UBC Summer Music Institute provides an intensive and fun musical experience for ages 10 to 18 in two levels of concert band and jazz band workshops, as well as two singing workshops. Overnight or daycamp. Vancouver Academy of Dance 604/231-8293 www.vancouverdance.com
Vancouver/Richmond. Quality dance training. Starting this July, 5 weeks of summer programs in Ballet, Jazz, Tap, Hip Hop, breakdancin’, Chinese dance, Ballroom and Acrobatics. Vancouver Academy of Music 604/734-2301 www.vam.bc.ca Experience a taste of what VAM has to offer during our one-week summer camps, Soundfest, July 9 – August 3. Contact us for details and registration. Vancouver Tap Dance Society 604/253-0293, Vancouver Westside Dance Centre 604/736-1000 www.westsidedance.ca Visit our website for details on summer camps.
general activities Alexandra Neighbourhood House 604/535-0015 Programs for children and families throughout Metro Vancouver. Residential Summer Camps include a 5 day camp for Families with limited resources, as well as a weekend Family Camp for families with teens/preteens with developmental challenges. False Creek C.C. Daycamps 604/257-8195, Vancouver www.falsecreekcc.ca Offers canoe/kayak camps, recreational camps and leadership camps for ages 3–14.
summer camp g In Wonderland Summer Camp 604/872-4665 www.inwonderland.ca Our camps offer a creative fun and artistic experience for your child. Visit our website for details Langara Family YMCA 604/324-9622 www.langarafamilyymca.org Ages 3–16; Hours 8 am–5 pm Preschool, Adventure, Leadership, and Counsellor in Training Camps. Mount Pleasant Neighbourhood House Licensed Out-of-School Care at Florence Nightingale School 604/879-8208 www.mpnh.org 8 weeks of licensed summer care for 20 children 5–10 years old North Vancouver Recreation Commission 604/987-PLAY (7529) www.northvanrec.com SFU Summer Camps 778/782-4965 www.sfu.ca/camps Sunset Community Centre 604/718-6505, Vancouver www.mysunset.net Vancouver College: A Finnegan Summer 604/261-4285 www.vc.bc.ca
uide
All Students Need Summer Learning
specialty BC SPCA Among Animals Camp 604/599-7297 www.spca.bc.ca/youth/whats-happening Camps are held in various locations around the province. Participants will learn about animal care, welfare and environmental issues in a safe and fun environment.
The research is clear: kids who take a complete break from learning in the summer fall behind. They fall behind in math. They fall behind in reading. They lose school motivation.
Bricks 4 Kidz 778/822-5672 www.bricks4kidz.com/vancouver With our unique, motorized Lego® models, Bricks 4 Kidz® Vancouver is offering an exciting lineup of summer camps.From our popular Space Adventures Camps and Robotics to our new Bricks Olympics Camp, kids will have a blast with hands-on, activities and challenges.
Summer learning earning loss is preventable with Oxford Learning. We have e programs for students of all ages es and grades Call today, ay, or visit oxfordlearning.com earning.com
Christianne’s Lyceum of Literature and Art 604/733-1356 The Lyceum encourages young people to see themselves as readers, writers and artists as they engage with abstract ideas and reflect on their own place in society. Programs include: bookclubs, writers’ workshops, literature and art classes and holiday and summer camps.
With 7 locations in the Lower Mainland
Youth 25 & Under - $25 all shows
s Spaceble! Avaisitlear Today Reg
Tickets 604-739-0559
Young Shakespeareans Two-week workshops for ages 8 – 18
All the world’s a stage, and your child can be one of the players. Professional actors lead interactive, fun-filled theatrical adventures on the Bard on the Beach stages all summer! See the Young Shakespeareans video Get full registration details Visit bardonthebeach.org/about-bard-education Bard education programs supported by bcparent.ca • spring 2013
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Jump into the adventure and let friendship fill each day. Experience a world of discovery, all with ann amazing staff.
MER! M SU T AS CO TES W N IA AD N CA ENJOY THE BEST OF A
SUMMER CAMPS FOR ALL AGES!
www.qwanoes.ca 1-888-997-9266 CALL FOR OUR FREE BROCHURE
LIFE LIKE NO OTHER! 20 bcparent.ca • spring 2013
Located on Vancouver Island, BC
summer camp g FUN Camps www.funsociety.ca FUN Camps is a hands-on environmental leadership camp that makes caring for the environment and exploring the natural areas in our cities FUN and interactive! Runs in Victoria and Vancouver each week of summer, 9 am–4 pm. Heritage Summer Daycamps 604/592-6956 Spend a summer day on the farm at Historic Stewart Farm doing things the old-fashioned way! Tend the garden, go on a nature walk, play games, be a river pirate, and more–there is a different theme every day! K12 Plus Learning 604/767-0949 We offer special summer programs at our centre or your home. Lynn Canyon Ecology Centre 604/990-3755 www.dnv.org/ecology North Vancouver Midnight Cheer Athletics 604/263-6436 Vancouver www.midnightcheer.com Oxford Learning N. Vancouver 604/990-8850 Coquitlam 604/936-1371 Richmond 604/233-5566 South Surrey 604/575-1494
Langley 604/534-4089 www.oxfordlearning.com St. George’s Summer Programs 604/221-3601 www.summeratstgeorges.ca Vancouver, Dunbar area Science Camps – HT Science Made Fun 778/737-5277 www.ScienceMadeFunBC.net High Touch is offering our hands-on science camps throughout the Lower Mainland at a location near you. For a complete listing of our location and camps please visit our web site. Science World at TELUS World of Science 604/443-7443 www.telusworldofscience.com/ The Reading Foundation 604/222-2254 www.readingfoundation.com Our introduction to reading camps are designed for pre-school and Kindergarten students. This is a good start in beginning reading activities. Call for details. UBC Botanical Garden – Young Explorers Summer Day Camps 604/822-3928 www.bucbotanicalgarden.org/kids/camp Send your child on an adventure exploring nature and biodiversity.
Campers will learn about the natural world through a variety of indoor and outdoor activities and games. Two programs to choose: Eco Explorer and Garden Explorer (Ages 7–11) For more info and registration visit botanicalgarden.ubc.ca/camp Dive into Summer Camp at the Vancouver Aquarium 604/659-3552 www.vanaqua.org Kids explore the intriguing world of marine mammals, fabulous fish and other cool creatures through hands-on activities, exploration, games and crafts. Plus check out the behind-the-scenes action! Remember Members save 20%. Westside Church Day Camps Cosmic City & Beyond! 604/263-2314, Kistilano www.churchonthewestside.com Visit our website for all the details on our outer space themed camps packed with games, crafts, science, singing and local trips. YWCA Camp Fun Girl 604/895-5844 Writing and Book Camp (Vancouver Public Library) 604/331-4093 www.vpl.vancouver.bc.ca/events/ details/bookcamp
uide
residential camps Camp Qwanoes 250/246-3014 www.qwanoes.ca Qwanoes is a youth-oriented highadventure Christian camp seeking to encourage biblical discipleship through relationship-focused, fun-oriented, and Christ-centred programs. Wild action and pure fun, real relationships, awesome counselors, great music, a world of discovery, all in one amazing setting. Outward Bound 1-888-OURWARD (688-9273) ext 209 www.outwardbound.ca Webbs Holiday Acres 604/857-1712 www.webbsholidayacres.ca
sports The Academy at Richmond Stables 604/275-1830 Aquaventures Swim Centre 604/736-SWIM www.aquaventuresswim.com Vancouver Athletes in Action 604/514-2079 www.athletesinaction.com
bcparent.ca • spring 2013
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summer cam
p guide
Atlantis Programs 604/874-6464 www.atlantisprograms.com Vancouver Cartwheels 604/275-0020 or 604/594-1555 www.cartwheelsincorporated.com Richmond/Surrey Cliffhanger Indoor Rock Climbing 604/874-2400 www.cliffhangerclimbing.com ESC Bike Camps 604/307-BIKE (2453), N. Vancouver www.escbc.com Exceleration Multisport Summer Camps 504/718-6252 www.excelerationtriclub.ca Fitba—Soccer Player Development 604/340-1263 www.fitba.ca Jump Gymnastics 604/568-9690 www.jumpgymnastics.ca Langara Family YMCA 604/324-9622 www.langarafamilyymca.org Ages 6–12: Hours 8 am–5 pm Basketball, Soccer, Hockey, Tennis and more! Girls and Boys only options offered, as well as a UBC Wrestling Camp for ages 12–16. Financial assistance available.
RBL Basketball 604/269-0221 or 604/253-5295 www.RBLBasketball.ca Week long camps for boys and girls from kindergarten to Grade 10. Two to three hours each day.
popular sports: soccer, hockey, football, basketball, baseball, volleyball, tennis and golf. Sportball offers weekly programs, outdoor soccer, camps during school holidays, and birthday parties. Come try a free trial class! See our website for a location near you.
The Little Gym 604/539-2543 www.thelittlegym.com Call for summer day camp details.
Summer Smash! Community Tennis Camps at Elm Park 604/257-8100 UBC Sport Camps http://vancouver.ca/parks/cc/kerrisdale/ 604/822-6121 website/ www.ubccamps.ca Email: spencer.mackoff@gmail.com Vancouver New this summer! Come learn tennis Vancouver Phoenix Gymnastics from our team of experienced and 604/737-7693 enthusiastic coaches at the beautiful www.phoenixgymnastics.com Elm Park courts, located in the heart of Kerrisdale. There is a FUN IN PRESENTING, group for every age, CONFIDENCE IN SPEAKING, SKILLS FOR LIFE K-12 Private Speech Arts Classes from “Mini-Hitters” (5–7yrs), to “Junior Aces” (8–12yrs), all the way up to “Teen Aces” (13–18yrs). We’ve got a group for you! Sign-up through the Kerrisdale Community Centre.
Oval Sport Camps Richmond Olympic Oval 778/296-1400 www.camps@richmondoval.ca We offer 49 different sports camps for ages 6–16. Visit our website for details. Pedalheads Bike Camp 604/874-6464 www.pedalheads.ca Vancouver Royal Soccer 800/427-0536 www.royalsoccer.com Royal Soccer is excited to offer our #1 grassroots soccer camp in Canada. Open to boys & girls ages 5 to 13 at multiple BC locations during July & August. Sportball 604/688-3157 Sportball is a non-competitive sports program for children 16 months to 12 years. Children are introduced to eight
Call For Information 778-323-2448 West Vancouver www.vivavocespeech.com
Summer Sewing Camps (AGES 7-17)
July 2 to July 5 July 8 to July 12 July 15 to July 19
Twin Rivers Equestrian Centre 604/574-5481 www.twinriversequestrian.com Twin Rivers is a great place for campers to improve their riding skills and learn all about horses in an indoor riding facility. We invite campers of all different levels of ability. For further details and registration forms see our website.
y y y
meet m eet yyour our m masterpiece asterpiece
(half day only) (half or full day) (half or full day)
Fun sewing projects for beginners and advanced sewers France Dorais – France’s Sewing School www.francessewingschool.com Now on Facebook 쐍 604-433-1030
Register online now for Spring & Summer 2013 programs
Sportball Junior (16-24 months) Parent Par ent & Child/Me & My Dad (2-4years) Multi-Sport (2-7 years) Outdoor Soccer (2-7 years) Half-Day Camp (3-7) Birthday Parties (2-10 years)
Play with passion. Play for fun.
22 bcparent.ca • spring 2013
mould mould,, paint paint,, splatter splatter, r, glue Plac Placee des Ar Arts ts inspir inspires es the ar artist tist in yyou ou
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604.688.3157
www.placedesarts.ca w w w.placedesar ts.ca y 604.664.1636
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Arts Ar ts Centre Centre & Music SSchool chool y CCoquitlam oquitlam
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Coming May 1st 12th Annual Family Resource Guide Have your business listed in BC’s favourite resource for parents LISTINGS INCLUDE: EDUCATION 쐍 CLASSES AND PROGRAMS 쐍 FAMILY FUN 쐍 RETAIL 쐍 SUMMER CAMPS 쐍 BIRTHDAYS HOME 쐍 FAMILY HEALTH AND SUPPORT SERVICES Don’t miss your opportunity to have your company included in this year’s guide. For advertising and listing information EMAIL:
info@bcparent.ca 604-224-8027
OR VISIT:
www.bcparent.ca
On the stands May 1st, 2013 (Advertising deadline April 10th)
To view current issue visit www.bcparent.ca
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