march 2019
Cancer
Hold onto hope amid the obstacles
Dreams
Are they trying to tell you something?
Therapy
Solutions for bladder problems
Lifestyle
Things to consider in a shared household
Enjoy the outdoors Fun ways to enjoy the outdoors around the Brazos Valley and beyond
seasoned PUBLISHER
Crystal Duprè
A monthly publication of The Eagle 1729 Briarcrest Drive, Bryan, TX 77802
SPECIAL SECTIONS COORDINATOR
Kristi Lester DISPLAY ADVERTISING MANAGER
Linda Brinkman
SPECIAL SECTIONS EDITOR/ PUBLICATION DESIGNER
Kelli Weber
Contents
3 Things I learned from my son’s cancer 4 Dreams of old age 5 Therapy solutions for incontinence 6 Enjoy the outdoors around the Brazos Valley 9 When boomers become housemates 10 Calendar
TRUST
Metro Creative Connection Those poised to begin a health regimen that includes probiotics would be wise to also educate themselves about the closely named, yet vastly different, “prebiotics” that are also beneficial to health. Prebiotics are to probiotics what
fertilizer is to a vegetable garden. Prebiotics are essentially a special type of soluble fiber that is used by the beneficial bacteria as fuel, advises the prebiotic supplement company Prebiotin. Examples of good sources of prebiotics include bananas, onions, garlic, Jerusalem artichokes, apple skins, beans, and chicory root. The prebiotic fiber moves through the small intestine undigested and fermented until it reaches the large intestine. Once there, beneficial bacteria break it down and use it as food. Thusly, the prebiotics can then multiply readily and improve the balance of good and bad bacteria in the gut. Eating prebiotic foods can fuel the process, but many probiotic supplements now have a combination formula that includes prebiotics in the recipe.
The Most Important Thing In Any Relationship
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of the
Winner
2012
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Things I learned from my son’s cancer “Carcinoma.” All the other words the doctor said before this paled. It was this last word that mattered. We thought it was just a lesion. After all, our son (Aaron) was 15. Yeah, some kids develop cancer, gary roe but not ours. That happens to other hospice people. The next three months were a blur. Phone calls. Emails. Appointments. Exams. Scans and blood work. Surgery. And, because of where we live, all of this was two hours away. Back and forth, again and again. Amid this was all the usual stuff. Other kids. School. Work. Relationships. Jen and I tried to keep things as “normal” as possible, while in our hearts and minds life was anything but routine. One day, Aaron was having his teeth cleaned, and then a month later he has a hole in the roof of his mouth a little larger than a golf ball. About three weeks after surgery we got the official “all clear.” Tumor gone. No evidence of cancer anywhere else. No radiation or chemo. Just vigilance and regular follow-ups over the next five years. Whew. We began to breathe again, and to relax a little. Then we crashed. The months of hyper-alert, adrenalinelaced living had taken its toll. Our minds finally began to process all that happened. Reflecting on it all, here are some of big things we learned, courtesy of cancer.
We are not in control.
We didn’t see this coming. No one did. According to doctors, we couldn’t have stopped it even if we had known. If not for an observant dental hygienist, we would still be clueless about that sneaky, slow-growing killer. I have influence, but not control.
The past is powerful.
bring us back to what’s important and non-negotiable. Because of my work as a hospice chaplain and grief counselor, I’m aware that our cancer road, though difficult, was smooth compared to many other journeys out there - perhaps even yours. I’m encouraged by the fact that, though our journeys are different, we can walk together. And the seven things above apply to us all. You are not in control. Bad stuff will happen from time to time. Be aware of the power of your past. Look for the good stuff amid the obstacles. Hold on to hope Good stuff can come out of bad and nurture it. Treat others the way you would like to stuff. In the midst of the whirlwind, we met wonderful be treated. Handle the tough stuff one step, one thing, people - doctors, nurses, assistants, other patients, etc. at a time. The road is bumpy. The journey is challenging. Prayer and emotional support flowed in from every sector. Little stuff got swallowed by the truly important Travel light. stuff. A new focus on love, kindness, and goodness Gary Roe is an multiple award-winning author, speaker, naturally emerged. Aaron grew. We all did. chaplain, and grief specialist for Hospice Brazos Valley. Visit Gary at www.garyroe.com or contact him at 979Hope is essential. Yes, we were concerned. Okay, we were worried, 821-2266 or groe@hospicebrazosvalley.org. even terrified at times. But we were hopeful. This was a deliberate choice. We coached ourselves in this. In all the uncertainty, we intentionally kept returning to what we knew was true - about life, about our family, and about love. Aaron’s biological father died of Pancreatic cancer. The c-word carries extra weight, and terror, in our household. Aaron’s tumor triggered a cascade of emotions and fears. When a tragedy happens, it burns a deep pathway in our brains. When something similar looms in upon us, we naturally expect the same catastrophic result.
Treat others like we want to be treated.
This process wasn’t smooth. Some things fell through the cracks. We got angry and frustrated at times. We had to coach ourselves here too. Remain calm. Don’t react, but respond. Be kind. Be respectful. Be compassionate. We focused on treating others the way we would want to be treated, and it came back to us, over and over again.
One step at a time.
The temptation was to think ahead and wonder. We kept coming back to this - “Breathe. One step at a time.” The next phone call, appointment, or test. The next teacher conference, email, or meeting. The next thing Bad stuff happens. We knew this already, but we never expected this on our plate, whatever that was. One step, one moment version of it. A teenager? Our teenager? Why him? Why at a time. As I look back over this list, I have to laugh. We knew us? Why this? On top of everything else, it was discovered in mid-August, one week before school started. Needless all this before, but we seem to wander from it in daily life. Busyness dilutes our focus. Things like cancer to say, his semester was challenging. Why now? T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
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Dreams of old age
I had a special dream a few nights ago. I was driving along on the Interstate in my old Ford sedan. I was driving the speed limit, but everybody was whizzing by me. I am tired … have been driving all this cold, blue-Norther, Texas day to get to wherever it is I am going. My dream tells me I am 84 years old, tired, and alone, reminding me that my spouse died years ago and my children have grown up and we don’t interact much as a family any more. All the grandkids are grown or off to college. Everybody is doing his or her own thing. Me too, I guess. Only I am not doing all that much anymore. Too tired, I guess. In fact, in my dream I am looking for one of those Interstate rest stops that pop up in the middle of nowhere about every 50 miles or so. At my age, Mother Nature calls often, and rest stops are no longer an option. Just as I am getting a little desperate, I see one. I pull off on the access road and view the usual scene: a couple of truck drivers taking a nap in their 18 wheelers, a car spewing out kids complaining about this and that and each other. A guy is taking a nap on a picnic bench in the shade of a big oak. People look at the big map of Texas to see where they are and how much farther they have to go. I head for the toilet area. Relieved at last, on the way out I see that great big map these stops always seem to have. I gaze at it somewhat stupefied. It says YOU ARE HERE and shows all the other places where I am not but could be.
Now I realize I am hungry, and I head for that row of vending machines dr. bill klemM these stops the memory medic usually have. Diet coke and cheese crackers will have to suffice. After all, as the big map says, I am here, not there, where there are better choices. Sipping on my coke, I look at my tattered old car, with multiple scratches and minor dents that my attempts to cover with touch-up paint have failed to hide. Sort of like me, I guess. My car and I were pretty nifty in the early years. Now, we just need a lot of touch-up and repair. Thinking to myself, I ask, “Why don’t you get yourself a new sexy Mercedes sports coupe? You deserve it. All those years you have scrimped and saved for your old age. Now you are at your old age, and you are not spending what you saved on yourself.” Then I realized that I really don’t have any place to go in my new Mercedes sports coupe. Well, the map says there are all those places where I am not but could be. Some of these places must surely be interesting to visit. However, even in a shiny, sexy new car, I really don’t want back on that busy freeway. What a rat race! Nudging my way in from the access ramp can be frightening. Maybe I could go somewhere just staying on the access road. However, the access road won’t be there all the way to the next rest stop
some 50 miles away. Well, I could just stay here, in the middle of nowhere with my old Ford, both of us not going anywhere but at least resting. Diet coke and cheese crackers will always be here. And I won’t have to worry about finding a rest stop. Of course, I will still be here—and not there. At this point the dream ended, and for a couple of days I fretted over the possibility that it was trying to tell me something. A lifetime of dreaming has taught me that sometimes dreams are trying to convey something important, but they frame it
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as a guessing game. I have also learned that analysis proves more useful than guessing. A few days after this dream, I had another one that put me back at that same Interstate rest stop. I see the 18-wheelers, the quarrelsome kids, the guy on the picnic bench, the big state map. I am having my mother-nature break, diet coke, and cheese crackers. A voice from nowhere yelled in my ear, “Klemm, get your butt back out there. Stay to the right. You don’t need to be in the passing lane anymore. You don’t have to get there first. In fact, it does not matter much when you get here as long as
you do. Wherever you go, you may be late, but you will at least have gone somewhere.” The voice reminded me, “There will be other rest stops along the way. And your future won’t be limited to just cheese crackers and coke.” Then … a piece of advice: “Oh, and by the way, get that new Mercedes sports coupe, so the trip to all those other places will be more fun.” To learn more about “Memory Medic,” check out his web site at WRKlemm.com and his blog on learning and memory at thankyoubrain.blogspot.com.
Photo courtesy of August Brill T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
Therapy solutions for incontinence Q: I am 50 years old and I have a problem of leaking urine when I sneeze or cough. I have had this problem for a few years, but it seems to be getting worse. Sometimes, I also experience a sudden, very strong urge to urinate and leak urine before I make it to the toilet. I used to play tennis 3 days a week, but have stopped because I was embarrassed by the leakage that would occur whenever I play. My doctor prescribed medication and told me to do Kegel exercises, but I don’t like taking meds and I’m not sure if I’m doing the exercises correctly. Is this just a normal part of aging? Is there anything a physical therapist can do to help? More than 13,000,000 people in the United States have some form of urinary incontinence. A careful evaluation of these individuals often reveals weakness in the pelvic floor muscles (the muscles located at the base of the abdominal cavity). Approximately 80% of people with incontinence can be significantly helped with noninvasive behavioral techniques used by physical therapists. In general, incontinence refers to the leakage of urine at inappropriate times. There are several types of urinary incontinence, including stress, urge, mixed, and functional incontinence. Stress incontinence is defined as involuntary leaking of urine on effort or exertion such as during coughing, laughing, sneezing, and lifting. It usually results from weakness and lack of support in the muscles of the pelvic floor. Urge incontinence is defined as leaking urine associated with a strong urge to urinate. The underlying cause of urge incontinence is often unclear but may be caused by urinary tract infections, bladder irritants, bowel problems, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, stroke, injury or nervous system damage associated with multiple sclerosis. Urge incontinence is
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, it may indicate a bladder condition that can be addressed by a physical therapist trained in this area. A physical therapist can provide skilled training in exercises for the pelvic floor and the urinary sphincter muscles. Impaired muscle performance (impairment in strength, power, or endurance) is the most commonly treated impairment of the pelvic floor muscles. The muscles’ performance may be impaired by trauma during vaginal delivery, nervous system dysfunction, surgical procedures, decreased awareness of pelvic floor muscles, disuse, prolonged increased pressure in the abdomen, and back or pelvic pain. A physical therapist can determine if you are contracting the right muscles or use biofeedback techniques to help you identify and contract the right muscles. The physical therapist may also suggest
also sometimes called overactive bladder. It is suspected that poor bladder habits (especially going to the bathroom too frequently) and bladder irritants leon bradway physical therapy (such as caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol) contribute to the condition. Pelvic floor muscle weakness with impaired muscle performance is often found in patients with urge incontinence. Mixed incontinence is a combination of stress and urge incontinence symptoms. It is often reported that leakage occurs with increases in pressure in the abdomen and with a strong urge to urinate. Functional incontinence is defined as the loss of urine because of gait and locomotion impairment – an inability to get to the toilet quickly enough. It is not unusual for an elderly or disabled person to require 5 to 10 minutes to rise from a chair, walk with a walker to the toilet, maneuver in front of the toilet, lower his or her clothes, and sit down. It is a very distressing situation for an adult to lose bladder function. Knowing what is normal is the first step towards making a decision to ask for help. Answer these questions to help you decide whether you should see your primary care provider or a physical therapist trained in treating urinary incontinence. QQ Do you urinate more than 8 times during an average day? QQ Do you wake up to urinate more than once after going to sleep? QQ Do you rush to get to the bathroom for fear of losing urine? QQ Do you worry about finding a bathroom quickly when you are away from home? QQ Do you leak urine when you cough, laugh, sneeze, or lift something?
Dr. Leon F. Bradway, PT MS, OMPT – for more information on hip pain, visit our website at BVphysicaltherapy.com.
The Hospice Brazos Valley's Inpatient Facility, located in Bryan, is the only facility of its kind in the Brazos Valley. Patients receive 24-hour care delivered by certified hospice healthcare proessionals. Its spacious, private rooms provide short-term patient stays in a peaceful setting while embracing loved ones.
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using vaginal cones, which are weights that help strengthen the pelvic floor. These interventions can be effective for both stress and urge incontinence. If you are embarrassed about having a bladder control problem, you may try to cope on your own by wearing absorbent pads, carrying extra clothes, frequently staying at home, or avoiding exercise. You may even cut back on drinking liquids and risk dehydration to avoid incontinent episodes. However, there are better ways to manage urinary incontinence, and new treatments are continually being developed. It is important to visit with your doctor and ask about all your options. You’ll be on your way to regaining an active and confident life – and control of your bladder.
Bryan | Brenham | La Grange | Inpatient Facility
1-800-824-2326 | hospicebrazosvalley.org
March 7, 2019 | 5
e h t y o j En
s r o o Outd d n o y e b d n a y e l l a V s around the Brazo
crawling ironclad beetle. According to the website, native species find their homes in the mosaic of woodlands, savannah, ponds and creeks that make up the reserve. Several distinct ecosystems define Millican Reserve, including deep yaupon thicket, spring-fed creeks and expansive post oak savannah. The Market on the Green at Millican Reserve, held on the third Sunday of each month, promises all this land has to offer, its website states. Seniors can explore the open-air bounty, full of fresh vegetables and ripened fruits from area farmers. The market also offers baked goods, green plants and local artisanal creations, and visitors can also enjoy lunch and live music. For more information on Millican Reserve visit, millicanreserve.org. For more to things to do in BryanCollege Station, visit bcschamber.org and visitaggieland.com.
Brenham
About a 40-minute drive away from Bryan-College Station, Brenham (in Washington County) offers a variety of destinations perfect for a short day trip.
As spring approaches, local seniors can enjoy the outdoors by taking a day trip in or near the Brazos Valley area. Choices include wine tasting, visiting a theme park or even an alpaca farm.
Q Peach Creek Vineyards 2029 Peach Creek Road, College Station
Bryan-colleGe station
Q Royal Oaks Alpacas 9525 Grassbur Road, Bryan Animal lovers may like a trip to Royal Oaks Alpacas, which owns 45 Huacaya alpacas and three llamas. The farm also boards alpacas for another family, giving the farm a total of 51 alpacas. Tours of the farm are offered for a minimal fee, and visitors will learn about alpacas, touch their luxurious fiber and perhaps even receive an alpaca kiss, according to the website. Royal Oaks also has a farm store where visitors may purchase alpaca yarn and other items made from alpaca fiber. For more information on the farm, visit www.royaloaksalpacas.com.
Q Messina Hof Winery & Resort 4545 Old Reliance Road, Bryan Visitors to Messina Hof Winery & Resort can enjoy a stroll through the grounds, a meal and wine sampling. The winery offers a tour aimed at introducing wine enthusiasts and history buffs to the six generations of tradition involved in the making of Messina Hof wines. The tour lasts approximately one hour, and participants can taste four of their wines. For more information, visit www.messinahof.com. Other local wineries with vineyards include Peach Creek Vineyards and Lone Hen Winery.
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Q Lone Hen Winery 12455 Hopes Creek Road, College Station
Q Horseshoe Junction 290 Westwood Lane, Brenham Q Millican Reserve Horseshoe Junction, at 290 Westwood Lane, is a theme park with several 19851 FM 2154, College Station Millican Reserve is home to a wide features to keep visitors active. “Horseshoe Junction is a great range of native inhabitants, from the soaring red-shouldered hawks to the destination for seniors during a quick day trip to Brenham,” owner Brett Smith said. “Horseshoe Junction is the best place to enjoy a game of miniature golf on our 1880s Texas-themed 18-hole course. Cool off inside our Outpost Arcade featuring the best in current video and redemption games. Snacks and drinks are always available in the snack bar.” For more adventurous seniors, gokarts, laser tag, bumper boats, a rock wall and jumpers round out the activities available, Smith said. Horseshoe Junction is open daily for spring break (March 8–17), every weekend year-round and every day during the summer. For more information, visit www. horseshoejunction.com. Photo courtesy of Royal Oaks Alpacas T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
n Chappell Hill Lavender Farm 2250 Dillard Road, Brenham Seniors may also enjoy a trip to the Chappell Hill Lavender Farm. According to the farm’s website, 3,000 plants cascade down over rolling acres to a gazebo and pond. During the cutting season, visitors can stroll the fragrant rows and cut their own fresh lavender. The farm is about 8 miles north of the historic town of Chappell Hill, just off of the Texas Independence Trail. Nestled in the heart of bluebonnet country the farm is a delightful day excursion from most anywhere in South Central Texas with many other attractions close by. During the cutting season which occurs twice a year, you can casually stroll the fragrant rows and cut your own fresh lavender. There is no admission charge to visit the farm. The farm’s gift shop, The Lavender Patch, offers a variety of items such as soaps, lotions, jams and pet products made with lavender. For more information, visit www. chappellhilllavender.com. n
Historic Downtown Brenham
A day trip to downtown Brenham can also be an enjoyable way for seniors to spend a day. For history buffs, a historic walking tour brochure is available in the Visitor Center (located at 115 West Main St.). Toubin Park, a pocket park in a beautiful outdoor setting just off Alamo Street, tells the story of the burning of Brenham in the 1860s. n Brenham Heritage Museum 105 South Market St., Brenham The Brenham Heritage Museum is open Wednesday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and on Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more information on the museum, visit www. brenhamheritagemuseum.org. n Blue Bell Creamery 1101 South Blue Bell Rd., Brenham The Blue Bell Creamery welcomes visitors Monday through Friday, starting at 8 a.m. Visitors have the opportunity to browse the Tour Center which is filled with pictures, videos and history of the “best ice cream in the country.” Stop by for a scoop of ice cream at the Ice Cream T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
Bloomers, Martha’s Bloomers offers several other amenities, including one of the largest greenhouses in the area filled with tropical plants, and The Pottery House, which offers glazed and terra cotta pottery from around the world. For more information, visit www. marthasbloomers.com. For more attractions in Grimes County, visit navasotagrimeschamber. com.
Somerville n Lake Somerville Birch Creek: 14222 Park Rd 57, Somerville Nails Creek: 6280 FM 180, Ledbetter Lake Somerville can provide seniors with a relaxing getaway. According to the lake’s website, Birch Creek and Nails Creek – both units of Lake Somerville State Park – offer a multitude of recreational opportunities, including camping, picnicking, boating, fishing, hiking, biking, volleyball, horseshoes, basketball, backpacking and equestrian use. More than 20 miles of trail are open to hikers, mountain bikers and equestrians, affording visitors the opportunity to exercise and enjoy the Eagle photo by Laura McKenzie beauty of the park. Water lovers can enjoy boating, fishing, swimming and Bouquets of dried lavender are among the items sold at the Chappell Hill Lavender Farm’s gift shop, skiing on Lake Somerville. which also offers aromatherapy, jewelry, tea, spices, bath and body items and more. For more information, visit tpwd. Parlor and view how ice cream is made For more information, visit www. texas.gov/state-parks/lake-somerville. antiqueroseemporium.com. from the Observation Deck.. For more information, visit www. La Grange For more daytrip ideas in Brenham bluebell.com. and Washington County, check www. n Jersey Barnyard visitbrenhamtexas.com. n Antique Rose Emporium 3117 Texas 159, LaGrange The Jersey Barnyard, owned 10000 FM 50, Brenham by the Frerichs family, consists of The Antique Rose Emporium has Navasota approximately 100 cows that are milked long been known for extensive display twice every day. The farmers also farm gardens, varied plant selections and n Martha’s Bloomers 740 acres for pasture and hay. The knowledgeable staff. 8101 Highway 6 Bypass, Navasota Visitors are welcome to explore eight Plant and flower enthusiasts may farmers welcome visitors to stop by to acres of award-winning display gardens, enjoy a trip to Martha’s Bloomers. It see where milk comes from and what from tried-and-true perennials, to tiny opened in 2000 as a home and garden has to happen for a gallon of milk to succulents, drought-tolerant offerings, store and has grown into a dining appear in the grocery store. Visitors also can take a tour of the bulbs, garden supplies and a gift shop. experience and all-day shopping The emporium is open Monday destination. Martha’s Bloomers is filled farm for a small fee. A tour guide will through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. with flowers, trees and shrubs and take them on a guided educational tour and Saturdays and Sundays from 10 a.m. stocks hard-to-find varieties to meet to feed and pet the barnyard animals to 5 p.m. The Antique Rose Emporium the landscaping needs from the novice and see the working family Jersey dairy. For more information on this farm visit is also a mail-order nursery source gardener to the Master Gardener. for Earth-Kind, Pioneer and old roses. Along with the restaurant Café M. www.texasjersey.com.
March 7, 2019 | 7
Babysitting is one way that grandparents can be a frequent fixture in their grandkids’ lives. If it’s been some time since you cared for little children, it’s well worth it to take a refresher course in child care.
Babysitting for grandparents Metro Creative Connection
people’s lives and provide the exuberance and excitement that reminds you of your own youth. Grandparents often are thrilled to be involved in the care and upbringing of their grandkids. Some may also live with their grandchildren to help take some pressures off of adult children. Babysitting is one way that grandparents can be a frequent fixture in their grandkids’ lives. If it’s been some time since you cared for little children, it’s well worth it to take a refresher course in child care.
Witnessing your children getting older and starting their own lives and families can be bittersweet. There is pride that comes with seeing their successes, but the melancholy of knowing that the years have passed so quickly. Although you may no longer be tucking your children into bed, reading them bedtime stories or bandaging “boo-boos,” when your children have children, the chance to nurture can start anew. One of the great joys that comes from having older children is the ability Make sure it’s safe to welcome and love grandchildren. Conduct a safety audit of your home Grandchildren are points of light in if grandchildren will be coming over
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to your place. Are outlets secured with covers? Are medications you may be taking out of reach? Do you have gates to block stairs or restrict access to certain rooms? Modifications may be needed.
Assess your health
Chasing after children can be a workout. Be sure you are up for the challenge and have the stamina. If you have any medical conditions that can impair judgement or reaction time, you might want to reconsider babysitting.
Take directions
The way you parented may not be the same way your own children parent. Be humble and follow their lead with regard
to instructions. The parenting guide Apt Parenting advises that you should ask about the eating and sleeping habits of the child. You may have to defer to your own children’s guidelines on discipline and behavior.
Learn what’s new
Many things regarding childcare have changed in the last 20 years, including safety laws and guidelines. Be sure you are up to date on these changes. And if you aren’t certain about something, ask. This involves everything from crib bar widths to car seat installation. Babysitting can be a joyous task for grandparents who are ready for the job. T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
No loud music, no dishes in the sink:
When boomers become housemates
Is the Golden Girls lifestyle here to stay? AARP would say yes. According to a recent report, sixteen percent of people aged 50 and older say that they live in a shared household. And, according to the Census data analyzed by Veritas Urbis Economics LLC, nearly 2 million US households headed by a person 50 or older include a housemate, a roommate, or a boarder. There are several demographic and economic trends that might be behind this. Lack of retirement savings. Everhigh housing costs. Divorce, especially late in life. Women seem to make up the majority of the house-sharing crowd. This could be due their relative longevity and the infamous savings gap. So, maybe you’ve lost your spouse, or you’ve been through a divorce. You don’t want to sell your home and move.
But, taking care of a big house and covering maintenance expenses is becoming a stress point. Perhaps you are thinking about your TracY Stewart housing options financial literacy in retirement and sharing living quarters with a likeminded person looks like an interesting idea. Here are some best practices that will help you think it through and make the best choice.
way. So, think about the rules you would need to set in order for the two of you to live side by side without getting on each other’s nerves. Remember that a few big rules work better than a thousand little ones. Pick your battles wisely. Good clarity of expectations upfront will save you a lot of frustration down the line. If you dislike cats, don’t want any new paintings on your walls, or hate dishes left in the sink overnight, the best time to get honest about it is before someone moves in.
Set boundaries
Expect some disagreements
Let’s be honest. Bringing new people into your home is guaranteed to upset your normal routines. Even if you find a perfectly unobtrusive and thoughtful housemate, he or she will have become accustomed to doing things a certain
Human beings bump into each other all the time, both literally and figuratively. No matter how well you’ve brainstormed your boundaries and “house rules”, new things will come up. For example, what happens if your housemate buys a coffee table for the living room that she adores – and you can’t stand? Or what if she brings in flowers that set off your seasonal allergies? How about romantic friends visiting overnight, or a stray cat that she can’t bear to leave in the street? You may chuckle now, but the truth is that you can’t possibly solve all those conflicts preventively. So, you need a plan for handling them as you go. Many housemates find that they like weekly chats as a regular space to clear up misunderstandings and keep the living arrangement comfortable for everyone.
Finally, know when to call it quits
Not every housemate relationship is going to work out. Someone might tell you that she has one small dog, then show up on moving day with two Saint Bernard puppies. Surprise! In all seriousness, it helps to draw the lines ahead of time. What would it take for you to ask someone to move out? Your first answers will probably be
Metro Creative Connection If you’re thinking about taking in a housemate, roommate or boarder, think about the rules you would need to set in order for the two of you to live side by side without getting on each other’s nerves. T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
too broad. Continue to dig deeper until you get to the heart of the matter. Here are some examples. QQ “Housemate not taking good care of the house.” How would you know that’s a problem? Would someone have to willfully destroy furniture or punch a hole through drywall? Or does leaving a water puddle on the hardwood floor set off the trigger? QQ “Housemate being inconsiderate.” What might that look like? Leaving the hallway lights on overnight? Running a small load of laundry on the largest setting? Wearing perfume when they know it gives you a headache? QQ “Not following the rules.” Here, too, it helps to know which rules you will uphold no matter what, and where you might show some flexibility. QQ “Falling behind on the rent.” How many months? Would other compensation arrangements, such as helping with cooking or housework, be acceptable?
Resources for Boomers who want to share living space
If you are curious about a housemate arrangement and don’t know where to start, you’re in luck! There are many resources that can provide information and even connect you with others who may be looking to rent a room for financial reasons or companionship. As always, the best place to begin is the people you already know. From friends to acquaintances in your choir or gardening club, someone may know someone who’s looking. You can also look online. Websites like Roommates4Boomers, Let’s Share Housing, and Silvernest are a wealth of information. Tracy Stewart, CPA consults on financial issues related to elder planning and divorce. She can be contacted at tracy@ TracyStewartCPA.com.
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CALENDAR ONGOING QQColored Pencil Drawing Class & More – Ages 55+ can learn how to draw with colored pencils from Ann Walton, an award-winning and certified Texas Art Teacher. Free with membership at Southwood Community Center every first, third and fourth Thursday, 2 to 4 p.m. For more information, call 979-7646351 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov. QQBeginner Mixed Martial Arts & Self Defense For Seniors – This beginner’s class for ages 55+ focuses on Taekwondo and Jujitsu principles. Wear loose clothing, tennis shoes or water shoes. Free with membership most Fridays from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m. at Southwood Community Center. For more information, call 979-764-6351 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov. QQSaturday Senior Social – Enjoy an afternoon of coffee with friends, play games, dominoes or cards. Free with membership every Saturday, 1 to 4 p.m. at Southwood Community Center. For more information, call 979-7646351 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov. QQLine Dance Workshop for Beginners – Adults 55+ are invited to learn the latest line dance steps and terminology at Southwood Community Center. For more information, contact College Station Parks and Recreation Department, Senior Services at 979-764-6371, kpeterson@cstx.gov or cstx.gov/seniors. QQBeginning Tap Dance Review – Adults 55+ are invited to learn basic tap dance steps and terminology with instructor Sue Engbrock at Southwood Community Center. Tap shoes are recommended but not required. Free with membership on Thursdays, 1:30 to 2:30 p.m. For more information, contact College Station Parks and Recreation Department, Senior Services at 979-764-6371, kpeterson@cstx. gov or cstx.gov/seniors. QQHand & Foot Canasta – All levels are invited learn how to play this fun card game at Southwood Community Center. Ages 55+, free with membership most Tuesdays, 1 to 4 p.m. QQLine Dancing – Join other adults 55+ on Tuesdays and Fridays, 10:30 to 11:30 a.m. as they line dance to the hottest tunes and enjoy a great low impact aerobic workout at Southwood Community Center located at 1520 Rock Prairie Road. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/seniors. QQSit & Fit – Join other adults 55+ on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays from noon to 1
p.m. for a gentle exercise class while sitting. Participants follow a video that features fatburning aerobics and weight lifting exercises at Southwood Community Center, located at 1520 Rock Prairie Rd. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/ seniors. QQClassic Country & Bluegrass Jam Session – Open to all adults 55+ who enjoy listening or playing Classic Country or Bluegrass music. Bring string instruments and invite a friend! Join us every Tuesday from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. for a Jam Session at Southwood Community Center, located at 1520 Rock Prairie Rd. All levels welcome including beginners! Free with membership. For more information call 979764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/seniors. QQGame Night – Adults 55 + are invited to join the fun every Tuesday from 7 to 9 p.m. at Southwood Community Center. Table games and table tennis available or bring your own favorite game. Meet friends and enjoy a fun game night. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/seniors. QQLearn to Play 42 – Learn the popular dominoes game of 42 every Wednesday, 8:30 to 11 a.m. at Southwood Community Center, 1520 Rock Prairie Rd. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/seniors. QQForevercise – Forevercise is an exercise class for adults 55+ offered at Southwood Community Center every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 1:30 to 3 p.m. Class offers individuals healthy lifestyle practices and exercise. Exercises may be done while standing or sitting in a chair. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/seniors. QQIndoor Walking Group for Seniors – Join our Instructor, Ms. Susan Lehr in our free indoor walking class weekly to get your heart rate up with a fun, go-at-your-own pace environment. Class is offered at Southwood Community Center on Tuesdays from 9 to 9:30 a.m. No registration necessary. Free with membership. For more information call 979-7646351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx. gov/seniors. QQMah-jongg – Adults 55+ interested in playing the game of Mah-jongg meet at South-
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wood Community Center on Thursdays from 9 to 11:30 a.m. Beginners welcome! Free with membership. For more information call 979764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/seniors. QQPlay “42” Dominoes – Adults 55+ meet every Thursday to play “42” at Southwood Community Center, 1520 Rock Prairie Rd. from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/ seniors. QQFriday Bridge – Southwood Community Center offers a senior friendly environment to play bridge every Friday from 9 to 11:30 a.m. Southwood Community Center is located at 1520 Rock Prairie Rd. Free with membership. For more information call 979-764-6351, email kpeterson@cstx.gov or visit cstx.gov/ seniors. QQBible Study at Lincoln Center – Join other senior adults every Thursday morning at Lincoln Center, 1000 Eleanor Street in College Station, for Bible Study from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. Contact Annie Williams at Lincoln Center at 979-764-3779 or awilliams@cstx.gov for more information. QQHealth Education Classes at the Lincoln Center – Topics cover increasing functional capacity, improving self-care and stimulating one’s social environment. Admission is free for ages 50+. Held at Lincoln Recreation Center, 1000 Eleanor Street in College Station on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For more information, contact Annie Williams at 979-764-3779 or awilliams@cstx.gov. QQBCS Newcomers Club – The BCS Newcomers club is a women’s social club with membership open to both new and established residents of the Bryan-College Station area with a mission to provide opportunities to develop lasting friendships. The club hosts a luncheon at the College Station Hilton every first Thursday of the month, as well as activities such as bridge, bunco, Mah-jongg, coffees, tours and dining out throughout the year. For more information, contact membership director Carolyn More, 979-255-3412 or visit www. newcomersclubbryancollegestation.com.
March 12
50+. Admission is free. Event is held at the Lincoln Center located at 1000 Eleanor Street from 8:45 to 10 a.m. For more information contact Annie Williams at 979-764-3779 or awilliams@cstx.gov.
March 13 QQMovie & Popcorn at The Lincoln Center – Enjoy popcorn and a movie each month with friends. Free for ages 50+ from 10:30 a.m.12 p.m. Movie feature this month is “The Help”. For more information contact Annie Williams at 979-764-3779 or awilliams@cstx. gov.
March 19 QQHealth Education Classes – Each class will have cooking demonstrations, healthy recipes, helpful hints and giveaways; Free for ages 50+ from 10:30-11:30 a.m. February 5th Topic will be “Cooking With Spices and Herbs” and February 12 will be “Preserving the Harvest”. For more information contact Annie Williams at 979-764-3779 or awilliams@cstx.gov.
March 20 QQExploring History Luncheon: A presentation on “Aviation History in BCS” by Johnny Keown – The College Station Historic Preservation Committee and the College Station Parks and Recreation Department present monthly lectures on the history of our community and state. The luncheon will be held at the Southwood Community Center, 1520 Rock Prairie Road. A reservation is necessary for lunch and the cost is $7. Lunch is served at 11:30 a.m. The speaker will begin at noon. Please make your reservation no later than the Friday before the luncheon by calling 979764-6371 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov or cstx.gov/seniors. QQExercise Class at the Lincoln Center – Participants follow a video that encourages movement through dance. Exercises will tone, improve balance, and muscle and bone strength. Admission is free for ages 50+ from 10 to 11 a.m. For more information contact Annie Williams at 979-764-3779 or awilliams@cstx.gov.
QQHot Breakfast at The Lincoln Center – A March 20 & 27 healthy, well-balanced breakfast that is pre- QQChronic Pain Self-Management Workshop pared monthly by our senior group for ages by Daunte’ Cauley with TAMU HSC – Join us T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E
calendar
March 25
The 30-minute discussion/lectures will be delivered by Alec Moreno with Right at Home. Light refreshments will be provided, interactive games and activities will follow the lecture with prizes for the winners. The event will be held at the Southwood Community Center located at 1520 Rock Prairie Road from 10:30 a.m. to noon. Admission is free for ages 55+ with membership. Reservation required. RSVP 979-764-6351 or contact kpeterson@cstx.gov. QQLunch & Learn on Stroke Education – A light lunch will be served at Southwood Community Center. The lecture will cover the most common stroke warning signs, what you can do to decrease your risk of stroke, and how to find support for stroke survivors, caregivers, and family members. Free for ages 55+ from noon to 1 p.m. Reservation required. RSVP to 979-764-6351 or kpeterson@cstx.gov.
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QQSenior Advisory Committee Meeting – The Senior Advisory Committee meets on for the Active for Life Chronic Pain Self-Man- the last Monday of the month to discuss agement class series. These workshops programs and activities for adults 55+. The complement clinical care and are recom- meeting is held at Southwood Community mended by the Centers for Disease Control. Center, 1520 Rock Prairie Rd starting at Topics include fatigue management, pacing 9:30 a.m. Visitors welcome! For more inand planning activity, getting a good night’s formation contact College Station Parks and sleep, better breathing and much more. Recreation Department, Senior Services at Light refreshments will be served. The work- 979-764-6371 or kpeterson@cstx.gov or shops will be held at the Southwood Com- cstx.gov/seniors. munity Center located at 1520 Rock Prairie Road from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. Space is lim- March 26 ited. Make your reservation by calling 979- QQPotluck and Pizza Social – Bring your 764-6351 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov. favorite dish to share. There will also be pizza and live music with the Jam Session Players. The event will be held at the SouthMarch 21 QQMovie & Popcorn – Join us for a movie wood Community Center located at 1520 and popcorn every third Thursday at South- Rock Prairie Road from noon to 4 p.m. Reswood Community Center from 1 to 3 p.m. ervation required. Please RSVP to 979-764No reservation needed. For more informa- 6351 or kpeterson@cstx.gov. tion contact College Station Parks and Recreation Department, Senior Services at 979- March 27 764-6371 or kpeterson@cstx.gov or cstx. QQAging In Place Lecture Series/Games gov/seniors. Refreshments this month are & Activities – The College Station Parks & provided by Lampstand Nursing & Rehabili- Recreation Department and Right at Home tation. present four seminars on how to safely age in place and maintain our independence.
tion contact College Station Parks and Recreation Department, Senior Services at 979764-6371 or kpeterson@cstx.gov. QQSenior World Passport Program – Explore different countries and cultures. Each session will feature a country with typical foods to sample and learn interesting facts. Ages 55+ Free Thu. 2-3 p.m. RSVP 979-7646351 or kpeterson@cstx.gov.
March 29
QQBingo & Birthday Celebration – Join us on the last Friday of each month from 1:30 – 2:30 p.m. at Southwood Community Center for bingo and cake as we celebrate monthly birthdays! Prizes donated by Signature Select Services. No registration necessary. Call 979-764-6351 for more information. QQBirthday Celebration at The Lincoln Center – Enjoy a potluck lunch and fellowship on the last Friday of each month. For ages 50+ from 11:00 a.m. to 1 p.m. For more information contact Annie Williams at 979March 28 QQSenior Dance – Adults 55 + are invited to 764-3779 or awilliams@cstx.gov. enjoy an evening of dancing with a live DJ at Southwood Community Center,1520 Rock If you have an event you would like Prairie Rd. The dance is held from 7-9 p.m. listed in the monthly Seasoned calendar, Door prizes and light refreshments served. please e-mail the details to kelli.weber@ No reservation needed. For more informa- theeagle.com.
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