Seasoned, August 2019

AUGUST 2019

Let’s get moving 7 tips for dealing with difficult people

5 ways to show

Grandparents and other seniors how much they’re appreciated

fixing financial Infidelity

OVER AND LIVING THE GOOD LIFE!

5 WAYS TO SHOW

GRANDPARENTS

and other seniors how much they’re appreciated

seasoned publiSher

Crystal Dupre’

particles that reduce the amount of pore space in the soil. That makes it hard for water, oxygen and nutrients to get through, threatening the strength of the roots and putting the grass in jeopardy. Aerating a lawn can help homeowners foster strong root growth and healthy grass. When to aerate may be contingent upon local climate, so homeowners who suspect the soil in their yards is compact should consult with a local landscaping professional to determine the best time to aerate their lawns.

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Metro Creative Connection Oxygen is essential for the roots of grass to breathe and grow strong enough to support healthy lawns. But according to the Center for Agriculture, Food and the Environment at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, compacted soil can produce a decrease in oxygen content that can make it hard for roots to thrive. Soil compaction can result from a number of activities, including walking on grass or driving or parking vehicles on grass. When soil is compacted, it breaks into small

Let’s get moving 7 Tips for dealing with difficult people Learn how to breathe 5 ways to show grandparents Fixing Financial Infidelity Calendar

TRUST

The Most Important Thing In Any Relationship

• Experienced, professional Audiologist • Multiple reputable hearing aid brands available (ReSound, Oticon, Starkey) • Digital hearing aid technology • Consistent care and customer service • Locally owned and operated Robert Herring, Au.D. Doctor of Audiology

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2 | August 8, 2019

of the

Winner

2012

T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

Let’s Get Moving!

During the summer, many of us exercise more than ever, inside and outside. Being over 50 is no longer a reason not to exercise and enjoy it! With age comes aches and pains but much of this pain can be minimized and/or eliminated as we age if we stay active, stretch, and consume healthful options.

People think pain is an unavoidable part of the aging process, but you can minimize the problem by staying active.

For example, I have a friend in her 80s who looks and acts like someone in their 60s. What does she do? She eats right (and less), does yoga 3x a week, walks her dog twice a day, every day, stays active by volunteering and meeting with friends and family regularly. A few things to remember to help you start and stay active include: stretching, strength training, Aerobic & Yoga.

Stretching This relaxing form of exercise is perfect for seniors. When life becomes stressful stretching is a wonderful solution. Because the movements are gentle and slow you won’t feel out of breath but your breathing will improve helping bring more oxygen into your bloodstream helping you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. In order to see the best results from stretching, be sure to hold the stretch for at least ten seconds before moving on. Stretching can be done at home before a work out or through a class, giving you an opportunity to be social as well as healthy. Stretching prevents stiffness, increases flexibility and reduces the risk of injury.

Strength Training When the word strength training comes up, images of body builders and 50 pound weights appear in people’s minds. So naturally, people’s response is, “That’s not for me.” However, strength training is good for everyone, especially seniors, because it can be adjusted to anyone’s physical fitness level and age.

To begin, grab a pair of sandbag weights or dumbbells that are appropriate for you. If you haven’t worked out in awhile, start with light weights and don’t over due it. You can add more weight as the weeks go by. The proper form with weight lifting is to lift up slowly and then move back down slowly. In this way, you can really build up the muscle mass.

If you go through the motion to quickly it won’t have the same benefit. Another T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

age. If you want to get your exercise, meet other likeminded individuals, get out of the house and perhaps do some strength training too, consider joining a leon bradway gym. Many retirees physical therapy may already have this benefit included in their insurance policy.

type of strength training is resistance training. For this you need a resistance band or type of tubing. Next just turn on your favorite TV show and begin your work out in the comfort of your own home. Keep up the routine and you’ll begin to feel better both psychological and physical in a few short weeks.

Strength training will leave you feeling more confident, help you keep your weight under control, reduce your risk of injury, enhance your balance, and ultimately make you feel better.

Yoga and Tai Chi. Yoga and tai chi combine aerobic, strength training, core stability, flexibility, and balance into a cohesive approach. Benefits, such as stress reduction, improved breathing and enhanced positive outlook can be seen soon after starting the classes. Yoga and tai chi enhance balance which helps prevent falls which are detrimental to people as they age. Yoga comes in many different forms, if you’ve tried one and felt it was too strenuous or stressful (move from one position to the other while breathing), try a different class.

For example, restorative classes are more about stretching, breathing and relaxing. Other classes may pertain more to balance or lean toward a good aerobic workout. Many yoga teachers

Aerobic Exercise Walking is something we all can do. It’s free and provides a great cardiovascular workout. There are so many beautiful parks here in Bryan/College Station, so take advantage of them. Bring friends to socialize with or walk your dog or walk by yourself. If you have difficulty walking or balance problems, try to walk on an even surface, like inside the Shopping Mall. Make sure you have good support and cushioning in your shoes and stay well hydrated. If you notice joint pain or foot pain, consider checking with your physical therapist or podiatrist to see if you need orthotics.

Pain in the hip and knee can come from poor gait mechanics. Remember medication and medical conditions can dehydrate you so drink before you walk and have a bottle with you.

and businesses, will let you try a class for free. They will also be able to describe the classes to let you get a better idea of which one is right for you.

So start exercising today. Don’t let your age effect whether you stay active. Before and soon after you begin exercising (or change what you have been doing), check with your doctor.

This is particularly important if you are on medication which can be effected by physical exertion and dehydration.

Everyone deserves a life free of pain, so get into a routine of exercising today. When you have strong healthy muscles, you won’t experience as many aches and pains as someone who is less active. Further, you will be less prone to stumble and fall and if you do less prone to injury. Exercise also improves your breathing which improves blood flow, which is good for the whole body! If you have concerns, talk to your doctor or schedule a free consultation with our clinic.

Dr. Leon F. Bradway, PT MS, OMPT – for more information on hip pain, visit our website at BVphysicaltherapy.com.

We care for the living.

After 30 years as the only non-profit hospice in the area, we believe our care is about living – not dying. We help our patients with terminal diagnoses live their lives to the fullest and we help their loved ones do the same.

Swimming or water aerobics This type of exercise is perfect for people who haven’t worked out in a while. Swimming puts less stress on your joints than other forms of exercise and can be very relaxing and therapeutic working your whole body. It keeps you in shape and keeps you active. It can also be a nice social gathering and reason to get out and stay active.

Our commitment to providing Bereavement Services is available to any member of our community – even if their loved one wasn’t our patient.

We offer a variety of bereavement programs to assist those who are working through grief.

Programs offered are free to attend. Program information is available on our website or by contacting the Bereavement Coordinator at any of our office locations.

Tennis If you are fairly mobile, don’t have issues with knees or hips, this can be a fun, social, form of exercise. You can also check with your local city organizers to see if there are Tennis classes or clubs for your age bracket. If you enjoy something you are more likely to keep doing it.

Hospice Brazos Valley Comfort is our Specialty. Trust is our Promise.™

Gym Classes

Bryan | Brenham | La Grange | Inpatient Facility

Many local gyms and other organizations have exercise programs designed for those of us 60-100 years of

1-800-824-2326 | hospicebrazosvalley.org

August 8, 2019 | 3

7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People Mack was my personal bully.

Fifth grade was especially bad. Mack walked into school every day looking for me, or so it seemed. He made my life miserable. Recess and lunch were the favorite parts of the day for most kids.

Not for me. I couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom.

Looking back, I’m grateful for Mack.

He taught me two key lessons about life: Life isn’t smooth, and some relationships are difficult.

We’re all human, imperfect, and fallible. We struggle. We get wounded.

We wound others. In other words, we’re all “difficult” in our own way. I’ve heard “difficult” people described in a number of ways. Critical and judgmental.

Unkind and inconsiderate. Self-focused and arrogant. Advice-giving fixers.

Conversation dominators. Controlling complainers. And the higher the stress level, the more difficult a person’s behavior becomes.

In addition, we naturally frequently run into unsettling one-time interactions. The dangerous antics of a tailgater on Highway 6 at 70 miles an hour. The rude attitude of a customer service employee. The angry glare from someone you’ve never seen before.

Our first response to these situations is perhaps stunned shock. Our next inclination might be to give back what we’ve been given and to do to them what we sense they’ve done to us.

Angry, difficult, and exasperating interactions tend to stay with us. They ride on our shoulders, infiltrate our hearts, and can become part of our personal baggage. There must be a better way.

Here are 7 tips for handling difficult people and unnerving situations.

1. Be compassionate.

There are reasons why a person at any given time is being difficult. Their attitudes and actions could be the result of wounds and pain gary roe that they’re not hospice responsible for. They may be suffering, troubled, or dealing with a heavy loss of some kind.

Choosing compassion over reaction protects our own hearts. It focuses us on our response rather than on the rude or unkind behavior. Cultivating compassion trains our hearts to not be ruled or overly influenced by the negative events around us.

2. Don’t make it about you. Let it be about them.

Nothing can come out of a person except what’s already inside them.

In other words, what is said to us or about us is more about the person saying it than it is about us.

Instead of merely hearing the words, attempt to listen to the heart. What are they revealing about themselves?

What kind of pain and frustration are they expressing?

If we can detach a bit and see what’s coming out of the other person as being about them, perhaps we can discern more of the heart behind the actions and words.

We all long to be heard. Some are so desperate they scream for it.

3. Forgive and release quickly.

Forgiveness is not a free pass.

Forgiveness isn’t saying that it didn’t hurt or didn’t matter. Forgiving is saying that we are not going to let what was said or done control our hearts, minds, and lives.

Forgiveness is not about or for the

other person. It is for us. By forgiving, we are refusing to carry the junk that is being hurled at us.

Forgive. Release. Repeat - as many times as necessary.

4. Limit your exposure to toxic words and behavior.

Back to forgiveness for a moment.

Forgiveness is not the same as trust.

Just because we forgive someone doesn’t mean we want to have coffee with them.

Over 3000 years ago, wise King Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the spring from which all of life flows.” This is a tough world full of adversity. If we’re going to live from our hearts, we’re going to have to guard them well, especially around toxic words and behavior.

Past track record is important. If someone doesn’t have a history of being trustworthy, don’t share your heart or personal details with them.

Your heart needs safe, kind people that you can count on.

5. Proactively plan your responses.

Try this. Visualize someone being difficult. See yourself standing there, calm and peaceful. What do you do next? Smile and walk away? Say something in return?

Plan your response. Come up with some canned responses that you feel comfortable with. Make sure your response is designed to guard your own heart. Beware of trying to correct, persuade, or convince. The person being difficult may be looking for a fight. Don’t give it to them.

Respond rather than react.

Visualize difficult encounters.

Proactively plan your responses.

6. Develop a habit of deep breathing.

Breathe deeply. In through the nose, out through the mouth. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system and brings an almost instant calming effect.

Practice deep breathing for a few minutes, at least once a day. Visualize a difficult relationship or interaction and see yourself calm and breathing deeply through the entire incident.

The more you practice this, the better able you will be to implement it when needed.

Breathing is good. Deep breathing is great. Get proactive. Visualize difficult scenarios and breathe through them.

7. Be grateful for difficult people and challenging interactions.

We can learn a lot from difficult people and challenging relationships.

They are life-trainers and characterbuilders. They teach us to tackle adversity and overcome obstacles.

We aren’t traveling a smooth superhighway, but rather an obstacleridden, pot-hole infested, bumpy road.

We need super-resilience for this journey. Difficult relationships can be gifts in disguise.

Toxic words and behavior will always be with us. Challenging interactions will come knocking almost every day.

Will we respond in kind, or be kind in response?

And remember, everyone is someone else’s difficult person. Let humility, kindness, and compassion reign.

Gary Roe is an award-winning author, speaker, chaplain, and grief counselor with Hospice Brazos Valley. Visit Gary at www.garyroe.com, or contact him at 979821-2266 or groe@hospicebrazosvalley.org.

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T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

Learn How to Breathe

What? I’m not kidding. Sure, you knew how to breathe as soon as you were pushed out of the womb. But you didn’t learn to breathe right. If you were slapped on the butt by the doctor, you probably learned to breathe too shallow and too fast, maybe even hyperventilate.

All that screaming and crying you did after leaving the comfort of the womb taught your brain that stress and anxiety go with rapid, shallow breathing. So when faced with adversity as you got older, your automatic reaction is to breathe too fast and too shallow.

This is a case of classical conditioned learning. That kind of learning actually helps sustain the stress, because your brain has learned that rapid, shallow, breathing is supposed to go with stress.

The brain thinks this is normal.

About a month ago, I was having a large, benign growth on my neck removed by local surgeon, Dr. John Mason. The area was locally anesthetized, but so much tissue was involved that as he had to cut deeper, I felt pain. The nurse said, huffing and puffing with staccato rhythm, “Breathe. Breath in, breath out.” After several such reminders, I blurted, “Is there any other way?”

Then, I realized the risk I was taking if my surgeon started to laugh while holding a scalpel to my neck. Dr. Mason did a great job. And I was reminded that there is a right and a wrong way to breathe under stressful conditions.

There are three principles to correct breathing for reducing stress: 1.Breathe deeply. This means abdominally. As you inhale, the abdomen should protrude, filling the lungs better because the diaphragm contraction expands the chest cavity for more lung inflation.

2. Breathe slowly. Common T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

2. The hum technique. Here, the idea is to make a soft, guttural humming sound throughout each exhalation. You can even do this during the exhale stages in the Navy technique.

This may have a similar effect as using a mantra during meditation. Sometimes, people tell me I am humming when I had not been aware of it. I guess I have learned to associate humming with calming down and feeling good. Perhaps it is similar to why cats purr. Cats purr for two seemingly conflicting purposes.

One is that the purring sound has a conditioned association with a calm state. When the cat is calm, it purrs. The other cause of purring is anxiety. In an anxious cat, the anxiety acts as a cue that retrieves the memory of associated purring, which then helps to calm the cat.

If you are trying to train yourself to be calm, I recommend that you employ and combine the three principles and the two techniques during mindfulness meditation. All of the principles (deep and slow breathing, and exhaling via the mouth) and the two techniques (4-step and humming) can be synergistically combined during mindfulness meditation. In such meditation, the idea is the block out all thoughts in order to focus on breathing.

You can achieve further synergism by mediating in certain yoga postures, which have their own mental relaxing effects.

If you are like me, you are stiff and sore when you awaken in the morning. I deal with this by combining yoga stretches with mindfulness meditation and stressrelieving breathing. It is a great way to start each day.

There is a biological explanation for why all these ideas work, but

breathing rates are around 16-20 breaths per minute. This is fine when you are very active physically, but remember that the brain has dr. bill klemM spent decades of the memory medic conditioned learning to associate rapid breathing with distress. When you are trying to relax, you can shut down stress by slowing down to three to five breaths per minute.

3. Exhale through the mouth. A good way to automate this method is to slightly open the mouth and move the tip of the tongue behind the front upper teeth during inhalation, then relax the tongue during exhalation.

You can use these principles in two well-known breathing techniques: 1. The Navy Seal box technique. When they are not raiding a terrorist cell or on another similar stressful mission, Navy Seals

train themselves to stay calm by taking a four-step breath cycle of inhale, hold breath, exhale, hold breath, and then repeat the cycle. Each step lasts 4 seconds. This would yield a total breathing rate of about four per minute.

With practice, you can make each step last 5 or more seconds. Now you would be breathing like a Yogi.

few scholars explain it. The whole

constellation of beneficial effects is attributable to the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a huge nerve that supplies most of the visceral organs: lungs, heart, and the entire gastrointestinal tract.

Usually, when biology or physiology teachers explain the vagus nerve, they focus on its “motor” effects, that is initiating secretions, slowing heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and promoting peristaltic movements in the GI tract. What usually gets left out of teaching is that the vagus is a mixed nerve; it contains sensory fibers. These sensory fibers are activated by all the breathing functions mentioned above.

These impulses signal the part of the anterior hypothalamus that contains the neuronal cell bodies of the so-called parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).

The PNS suppresses the “fight or flight” system of the “sympathetic nervous system,” which is triggered by certain neurons in the posterior hypothalamus.

Thus, feedback signals from proper breathing serve to keep the PNS active and in control of a relaxed physical and mental state. So, CALM DOWN. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. These ideas are part of the issues raised in my new book on mental health, neuroscience,

and

religion,

Triune

Brain, Triune Mind, Triune Worldview,

by Brighton Publishing, available in paperback or e-book form at Amazon and Barnes and Noble. To learn more about Dr. Klemm, see his web site: http:// thankyoubrain.com

and

follow

his

“Improve Learning and Memory” blog site

at

http://thankyoubrain.blogspot.

com. His blog posts have over three million reader views.

August 8, 2019 | 5

Generations can bond over hobbies enjoyed together, such as playing video games.

5 WAYS TO SHOW

granDparents and other seniors how much they’re appreciated

social media, mobile phones for calling and texting, and anything else families can customize to their needs.

3. Offer companionship.

Spending time with younger generations can motivate seniors to stay active and engaged. Have games and activities at the ready or simply provide a listening ear.

4. Shop and run errands.

Help aging loved ones perform the tasks that they may not be able to tackle on their own.

This can include picking up groceries or prescriptions or taking them to appointments.

Simple work around the house, like doing laundry or light clean-up, also can be a big help.

5. Start a hobby together.

Develop a hobby that seniors and young people can enjoy together. Watching classic

Metro Creative Connection Grandparents and seniors can share wisdom and a lifetime of experience with the young people in their lives. Expressing gratitude for such lessons is a great way to show the seniors in your life, whether it’s a grandparent, mentor or family friend, how

6 | August 8, 2019

much they’re appreciated.

Some seniors live alone, while others may be living with their adult children and grandchildren, offering care and support to help make the household function. Whether grandparents, aunts and uncles or older friends live close by or elsewhere, there are many ways for their loved ones to

show them how much theyÕre appreciated.

1. Become pen pals. Seniors may have limited mobility or opportunities to get out of the house. Receiving mail is one way to connect with the outside world. Regularly send letters to a grandparent or other senior, sharing tales of daily life and key moments that will bring

them joy. Chances are they’ll return the favor with a letter of their own.

2. Explore technology together. Younger generations can introduce seniors to available technology that can bring them closer. This may include digital assistants that enable them to share videos, tablets to send email or access

movies, painting ceramics, going to sporting events, or gardening are just a few of the many hobbies that seniors can enjoy with their young loved ones.

There are many ways to bridge the generation gap and spend meaningful time with aging loved ones.

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Honor History and Its Lessons (Family Features) The reasons for understanding the past are plentiful.

Historical knowledge may illuminate the moments that shaped a loved one’s life or simply satisfy a curiosity about events and people that occupied a different place in time. A look into yesteryear can help make sense of the world today or even foreshadow happenings well into the future.

Whatever the basis for your interest in looking back in time, there are many ways you can honor and develop a deeper understanding of history. It’s just a matter of finding the method that fits your interests best.

Visit a museum or historical monument. These locations are rife with information, and often artifacts, that bring the past to life. You can find museums for all types of topics and interests, some with broad information about an event or subject and others that tell a story from a particular vantage point. Monuments offer a similar glimpse at the past, but they generally serve as physical markers of a particular place or event.

This means you can stand exactly where the nation’s forefathers stood as they fought for liberation from British soldiers or take in the same sights as the pioneers who ventured west along a wagon trail.

Explore written accounts T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

Soldier’s Tour at Arlington National Cemetery” from publisher Harper Collins paints an inspiring portrait of Arlington National Cemetery’s elite Old Guard unit, as well as telling the story of U.S. Senator Tom Cotton’s time as a platoon leader there. America’s oldest active-duty regiment, dating back to 1784, The Old Guard conducts daily military honor funerals on the 624 rolling acres of Arlington. Readers have the opportunity to immerse themselves in the honor and the challenges of duty at the nation’s most sacred shrine. Learn more or order online at HarperCollins.com.

Let elders tell their tales. Though much of recent history is heavily documented, there’s no comparison to hearing first-hand how a person felt and thought as those historical moments unfolded. War stories, memories of childhood, tales from the first time driving a car – these are all experiences that looked very different a generation or two ago. Use special occasions and family gatherings to encourage the elders in your life to tell their stories and make notes or record those memories to cherish years

of history. Historical books lend a diverse perspective on history, from factual accounts of times and places to personal narratives that let you experience exceptional moments through the eyes of someone who was there. For example, “Sacred Duty: A

into the future.

Research your family tree. No history is as personally relevant as your family tree. Your ancestors hold the answers to exactly why you look like you do, and maybe even why you act certain ways. Online services make it easy to begin piecing together relations that date back generations.

Visit a cemetery. You may think of a trip to a cemetery as purely a chance to pay your respects to the departed. While visiting grave sites of loved ones you’ve lost and leaving flowers or other trinkets are common practices, you can also learn a great deal from a cemetery. Looking for surnames you recognize may alert you to members of your family tree you never knew or seeing dates etched in the stones may help you piece together bits of family history.

Digging into the past may be entertaining, insightful, inspiring or all of the above. You may be surprised by all you can uncover once you get started.

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

August 8, 2019 | 7

Fixing Financial Infidelity can sign up for a new bank account or credit card online, opt out of physical statements, and not trigger any paper trail whatsoever!

How can you improve your odds of avoiding that fate?

TracY Stewart Get clear on what’s yours, financial literacy mine, or shared Every family has its own preferred way to set up family and personal finances. Some make the decision to share everything. Others set up a few shared accounts for household expenses and keep the rest of money in their individual accounts. And then there are families that have no shared accounts at all.

Regardless of the way you choose, it’s important to talk through it with your significant other. All too often, couples move forward by default and assume that they agree on money matters without having discussed it first. That can lead to hurt feelings even without an outright deception!

Set rules about big purchases and financial decisions The second part of the bank account and credit card conversation is what your family unit will consider as “big financial decisions”.

You might be surprised to discover significant differences on this front!

For example, if you grew up in tight financial circumstances where every dollar counted, you might think that a purchase of Imagine this scenario. You’ve been married $100 or more should be discussed together. (or living with someone) for several years. You However, if you partner grew up in a home share kitchen utensils, holiday plans, children, where money wasn’t a pain point, the internal and perhaps even bank accounts. You feel as trigger for conversation might be much higher, though you know your partner on a deep level… perhaps over $1,000. Unless you shine a light Until one day, you discover that he or she at this difference and pick a dollar cutoff that’s has been secretly racking up debt or siphoning comfortable and fair for both of you, you will money into a secret bank account. run into misunderstandings.

Financial infidelity is real. A recent study Get a credit report — and get involved from CreditCards.com reveals that 29 million Everyone should order a free credit report Americans (1 in 5 who are married or living every year — and then review it carefully. In with a partner) are currently hiding a bank families that have an established practice of account or a credit card from their partner. A looking at credit reports together, it would be survey conducted by Harris Poll on behalf of the more difficult for one spouse to open a secret National Endowment for Financial Education credit card and keep it a secret. This annual found that 2 in 5 American adults who combine review is also a great opportunity to identify their finances with a spouse or a partner admit any mistakes on the reports. Just be sure to to having committed financial deception. follow through on resolving anything that looks To make matters worse, staging a financial unfamiliar!

On the same note, get involved in family deception today is easier than ever. Someone 8 | August 8, 2019

finances. It’s common for couple to designate one person who’s in charge of money. However, staying blissfully uninformed can compromise your financial future. Don’t simply assume that your lifestyle is comfortable and therefore everything is fine. And if your significant other is reluctant to bring you into money conversations (or is dismissive of your wish to be involved), treat it as a red flag.

Get help if you find yourself on the wrong side of financial infidelity Finally, speak up if you discover that your significant other has been hiding a significant credit card balance, a gambling habit, a penchant for making undisclosed risky investments, or has been lying about income to watch you pay all the household bills on your own.

As far as your relationship goes, financial infidelity is just like any other form of cheating.

You may feel angry or hurt. You may spin into denial or find it difficult to trust your partner again. Getting past this will take counseling, a commitment to transparency, action to fix the consequences of the bad decision, and time to heal the wounds.

From a legal standpoint, you may be on the hook for whatever debt your spouse has racked up during the marriage, even if you had no prior knowledge of the situation. Working through the fallout may take years. It will probably affect many areas of your financial life, from saving for retirement to lifestyle choices.

Many couples in this situation would benefit from working with a financial planner.

An independent professional can keep the conversation productive, mediate points of disagreement, and help you plan for overcoming financial infidelity and moving forward together.

The sooner you can have an open and honest conversation about all aspects of money, the better your odds of recovery.

Tracy Stewart, CPA consults on financial issues related to elder planning and divorce. She can be contacted at tracy@TracyStewartCPA.com.

Link to the CreditCards.com study: https://www.creditcards.com/badcredit/#financial-infidelity-survey Link to the Harris Poll results: https://www.nefe.org/press-room/polls/2018/ celebrate-relationships-but-beware-of-financial-infideltiy.aspx T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

Knowledge is Power Understanding the rights of nursing home residents (Family Features) An estimated 1.4 million older adults and people with disabilities live in nursing homes, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. If a nursing home participates in Medicare or Medicaid – and most do – it must meet requirements “to promote and protect the rights of each resident.”

This means nursing homes are required to care for their residents in a way that enhances the quality of life for residents, respects their dignity and ensures they are able to make choices for themselves.

Established by federal law, the “Residents’ Bill of Rights,” states if you live in a nursing home, you are entitled to rights including: • The right to be fully informed in a language you understand of all aspects of your residency.

T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

• The right to participate in all aspects of your care.

•The right to make independent choices based on your needs and preferences.

•The right to privacy and confidentiality.

•The right to safe and appropriate transfer and discharge, including the right to appeal decisions.

•The right to visits from friends, family, providers and other people of your choosing.

•The right to participate in social, religious and community activities.

•The right to organize and participate in resident groups, often called resident councils.

•The right to complain without fear of repercussions.

•The right to be free from discrimination.

•The right to be free from abuse, neglect and restraint.

•The right to adequate medical care and treatment.

•The right to get information about alternatives to nursing homes.

Some states have laws and regulations that establish additional rights for nursing home residents.

Some states also guarantee a similar set of rights for people who live in assisted living or similar settings.

Every state, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and Guam have an advocate, called a Long-Term Care Ombudsman, for residents of nursing homes, board and care and assisted living facilities and similar residential care facilities. These advocates work to resolve problems affecting residents’ health, safety, welfare and rights. Residents, their families and

others have the right to contact their local Ombudsman program to help them understand their rights, learn about community resources and work through problems.

For more information on these rights, and to find your local Ombudsman program, visit acl.gov/ ombudsman. The website also provides information on other programs and services available to help older adults and people with disabilities who need help with daily tasks, like getting dressed, bathing or cooking, to receive this support in their own homes. These programs can help delay or avoid nursing home care, guide nursing home residents looking to transition back into the community and support family members serving as caregivers.

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CALENDAR ONGOING

Join us for an evening of dancing and games. Dance to the oldies from the 60s to the 80s, swing, line dance or boogie.

Dominoes and card games will also be available. Refreshments will be served.

Ages 55+ Free Fri. Aug. 30 7-9 p.m.

QQB/CS Newcomers Club – The B/CS Newcomers Club is a women’s social club with membership open to both new and established residents. The club hosts a luncheon at the College Station Hilton the first Thursday of the month. For more information, visit newcomersclubbryancollegestation. QQFITNESS CENTER com.

Use the treadmill or elliptical in the fitness room or get your steps in by walking indoors in the gym or outdoors under a Programs at covered pavilion. The fitness center is Lincoln Recreation Center equipped with cardio machines, a weight1000 Eleanor St., training circuit, single-station machines and College Station a complete range of free-weight equipment including benches, barbells and dumbbells.

Participants must be a registered senior participant. Ages 55+ Free Mon.-Fri. Weekly August 12 9-10:30 a.m.

QQFOREVERSIZE This class is specifically designed to QQTABLE GAMES & DOMINOES encourage individuals to adopt healthy Enjoy a variety of board games, cards, lifestyle practices through exercise and dominoes, spades and pool. Ages 55+ Free nutrition information. Exercises include Mon.-Fri. Weekly 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. toning, stretching, strength building and cardio workouts. Ages 55+ Free Tue. & Thu. Weekly 10-10:30 a.m. Ages 55+ Free Mon., QQHOT LUNCH A healthy, well-balanced lunch is served Tue. & Wed. Starting Aug. 12th Weekly daily. Enjoy with approved client intake 1-2:30 p.m. form. Ages 60+ Free Mon.-Fri. Weekly 11:30 a.m.-12:45 p.m.

August 21 QQEXPLORING HISTORY LUNCHEONS • QQBIBLE STUDY REGISTRATION REQUIRED A diverse but inclusive community of faith College Station’s Historic Preservation where seniors search, study and grow in Committee and Parks and Recreation the knowledge Department present monthly Lectures over of Jesus Christ. Ages 55+ our community’s history. Reservations are Free Thu. Weekly 9:15-10 a.m. required and are due the Friday before the Luncheon. Call 979.764.6351 or email QQNUTRITION EDUCATION kpeterson@cstx.gov to reserve your spot.

Texas A&M AgriLife Extension offers Ages 55+ $7 Wed. August 21 11:30-1pm “The Historic School Houses” by Dr. James cooking demonstrations with healthy recipes. Ages 55+ Free Lindley 3rd Tue. Monthly 10:30-11:30 a.m.

August 21

QQSENIOR CITIZENS DAY National Senior Citizens Day recognizes contributions senior citizens make in communities. Join us as we celebrate our local citizens’ contributions while enjoying light refreshments. Ages 55+ Free Wed. Aug. 21 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

August 30 QQFUN NIGHT WITH DANCING & GAMES

QQBINGO Winners will receive homemade chocolate chip cookies provided by Signature Select Services. Ages 55+ Free 2nd Thur. Monthly 11-12 p.m.

QQBIRTHDAY CELEBRATION Enjoy a potluck lunch and fellowship on the last Friday of each month.

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Ages 55+ Free Last Fri. Monthly 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

Programs at Meyer Senior & Community Center 2275 Dartmouth St., College Station

QQSIT & FIT A gentle exercise that features fat-burning aerobics and weight lifting while using a chair for support.

Weekly 12-1 p.m.

QQWATERCOLOR I REGISTRATION THROUGH FIRST CLASS DAY This beginner’s class focuses on basic painting tools, materials, techniques, August 8 composition and color theory. Supplies will QQCOLORED PENCIL DRAWING & MORE Learn how to draw pictures and other media be discussed during the first class. Basic with colored pencils from Ann Walton, drawing skills are needed. Ages 18+ $65 an award-winning and certified Texas art Weekly 2-5 p.m. teacher. Ages 55+ Membership Thu. Weekly QQWATERCOLOR II starting Aug. 8th 2-4 p.m.

REGISTRATION THROUGH FIRST CLASS DAY A continuation class on the art of watercolor.

August 15 QQICE CREAM SOCIAL WITH COLLEGE Please bring your supplies to the first class.

Ages 18+ $65 Weekly 6-9 p.m.

STATION POLICE DEPARTMENT The College Station Police Department’s Community Enhancement Unit will share QQSENIOR ADVISORY COMMITTEE safety tips and awareness of the latest The committee’s purpose is to address the scams targeting the senior adult population. needs of older adults living in College Station and offers program and activity suggestions Ages 55+ Free Thu. Aug. 15 2-3 p.m. to the College Station Parks and Recreation Department. Members must be 55+ and August 22 QQWATERMELON SOCIAL WITH COLLEGE current residents of College Station. Visitors are welcome to attend meetings. Last Mon. STATION FIRE DEPARTMENT Cool off with free watermelon and learn Monthly 9:30-10:30 a.m. important safety tips from the College Station Fire Department. Ages 55+ Free QQJAMBOREE LINE DANCING Experienced and advanced line dancers Thu. Aug. 22 - 2-3 p.m. meet to learn new dances.Ages 55+ Tues. & Fri. Weekly 9-10 a.m.

August 29 QQSUMMER DANCES Enjoy an evening of dancing with a live QQLINE DANCING DJ. Dances are held monthly with door Looking for a fun way to exercise? Try line prizes and light refreshments served. No dancing! Dance to the hottest tunes and registration needed. Ages 55+ Free Thu. enjoy a low-impact, aerobic workout. Ages 55+ Tues. & Fri. Weekly 10:30-11:30 a.m.

Aug. 29 7-9 p.m.

ONGOING QQLEARN TO PLAY BRIDGE Weekly 10-11a.m.

QQSCRAPBOOKING Weekly 10:30-11:30 a.m.

QQPOTLUCK & PIZZA SOCIAL Enjoy pizza, good food and music by the Classic Country & Bluegrass Jam Session Musicians. Bring your favorite dish to share with others. Live music begins at 12:30 p.m. Sponsored by HealthQuest Ages 55+ Membership Last Tue.Monthly 12-3 p.m.

QQBEGINNING LINE DANCE WORKSHOP Workshop is designed to teach beginners QQCLASSIC COUNTRY JAM SESSION the steps and terminology of line dancing. All musicians, regardless of experience level, are welcome to join. Country music fans are Weekly 10:30-11:30 a.m.

T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

also encouraged to attend.

Ages 55+ Membership Tues. Weekly 12:30- Q Learn to pLay maH Jongg Mah Jongg is a game of skill, strategy 3 p.m. and calculation. This beginner’s class will teach the basics of the game. Ages 55+ Q aDuLt coLoring cLass Ages 55+ Membership Tues. Weekly 12-5 Membership Wed. Weekly 1-4 p.m. p.m.

Q Beginner tai cHi Ages 55+ Membership Wed. Weekly 3:30Q HanD & Foot canasta Join us and learn how to play this fun card 4:30 p.m. game! Great for all levels of players. Ages Q computer cLuB For seniors 55+ Membership Tues. Weekly 1-4 p.m.

Interested in learning more about the world of computers and technology? Join us the Q game nigHt Enjoy an evening of dominoes, cards, first Wednesday of each month. Registration board games and table tennis. Ages 55+ is not required. Ages 55+ Free 1st Wed. Monthly 9:30-11 a.m.

Membership Tues. Weekly 7-9 p.m.

board games and table tennis. Ages 55+ Membership Thu. Weekly 7-9 p.m.

Q ForeversiZe This class is specifically designed to encourage individuals to adopt healthy lifestyle practices. Exercises are designed to accommodate all abilities and focus on building strength, balance and endurance.

Ages 55+ Membership Thur. Weekly 3-4:30 p.m.

Q Basic JeweLry making Learn how to make basic earrings, bracelets and necklaces or repair broken jewelry. Our instructors Joe, Linda and Betty, will offer expertise and guidance. You are asked to bring your own beads. Ages 55+ Membership 2nd Thu. Monthly 10 a.m.-12 p.m.

Programs at Southwood Community Center 1520 Rock Prairie Rd., College Station ongoing Q Classic Country & Bluegrass Jam Session – Open to all adults 55+ from 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. who enjoy listening or playing Classic Country or Bluegrass music. Bring your instrument and invite a friend! For more information contact Southwood Community Center at 979-764-6351 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov or cstx.gov/seniors.

Q Game Night – Adults 55 + are invited to join the fun every Tuesday evening from 7 to 9 p.m. Table games and table tennis available or bring your own favorite game.

Meet friends and enjoy a fun game night.

For more information contact Southwood Community Center at 979-764-6351 or email kpeterson@cstx.gov or cstx.gov/ seniors.

Q Learn to pLay 42 Become a pro at this classic game played with dominoes through weekly, educational sessions. Ages 55+ Membership Wed. Weekly 8-11:30 a.m.

Q FamiLy History computer group Ages 55+ Free 3rd Wed.Monthly 9-11a.m.

Q BriDge Beginners and experienced players are invited to play! No partner needed. Ages 55+ Membership Wed. Weekly 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Ages 55+ Membership Fri. Weekly 9 a.m.11:30 a.m.

Q movie & popcorn Enjoy newly-released films and popcorn If you have an event you would like with friends. Ages 55+ Membership 3rd Fri. listed in the monthly Seasoned calendar, Monthly 1-3 p.m.

Q maH Jongg please e-mail the details to kristi.lester@ Mah Jongg is a game of skill, strategy and theeagle.com. calculation. Ages 55+ Membership Thu. Q saturDay senior sociaL Enjoy an afternoon of coffee with friends, Weekly 8:30-11:30 a.m. play games, dominoes or cards. Ages 55+ Membership Sat. Weekly 1-4 p.m.

Q game nigHt Enjoy an evening of dominoes, cards,

Q LaugHter yoga Ages 55+ Membership Wed. Weekly starting Aug. 14th 10-10:45 p.m.

Metro Creative Connection Gray hair is a natural side effect of aging. The rate at which hair will turn to gray differs based on genetics and other factors. Some people may go gray seemingly overnight, while others may gray at the temples first before the rest of their hair gradually changes color.

Aging women often wonder if they should cover up their gray hair or embrace the silver. Going gray is T H E B R YA N - C O L L E G E S TAT I O N E A G L E

Q 42 Dominoes 42 is often referred to as the National Game of Texas. Beginner and experienced players are welcome. Ages 55+ Membership Thu. Weekly 8-11:30 a.m.

no longer something that has women running to their stylists at the sight of the first gray strand. Some actually opt for silver even before their own gray sets in. According to a 2017 survey of hair trends by L’Oréal Professional, 28 percent of women embraced or considered opting for silver hair. The trend has continued to gain steam.

Celebrities like Jamie Lee Curtis and Helen Mirren were some of the first to embrace their grays. Younger celebrities like Kendall Jenner, Pink and Lady Gaga have opted for silver tresses to make a statement.

But there are still many women who prefer to transition gradually or avoid the harsh chemicals in some hair products. The National Cancer Institute states that more than 5,000 different chemicals are used in hair dye products, some of which are reported to be carcinogenic in animals. There are many natural ingredients that can add

Q BirtHDay Bingo Ages 55+ Membership Fri. Monthly 1:30-2:30 p.m.

tint to hair to make gray less visible.

Coffee, for example, can cover grays and add dimension to dark tresses.

Chamomile tea is recommended for blonds to add natural highlights and perhaps camouflage their grays.

Calendula, marigold, rosehips, and hibiscus can deepen red shades or add some subtle red highlights. Henna also is a popular natural method to add a red-orange color to hair. Creating highlights to offset gray hair can work as well. Spraying lemon juice on hair and sitting in the sun can produce lightening effects.

Many women are seeking natural options to look their best. Embracing grays or creating subtle tints with natural ingredients can help women feel confident and beautiful. to their stylists at the sight of the first gray strand.

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