BCF OCT 2016

From the Editor-In-Chief

Give credit where credit is due!

Myra Wallace-Walker The following pages are a tribute to the many amazing contributions made by those who heard, saw and felt the vision of Beauty Come Forth. These are the forward thinking, creative jewels who responded to the BCF movements call to action.

The writers, editors, photographers, make-up artist, stylists, graphic artists, models and behind the scene creative team players became a part of the movement and permitted their own Beauty to Come Forth, in the form of their artistic work which contributed to the success of the BCF online publication. I am honored and grateful for all of the sacrifices, long hours, diligent work efforts, and creativity they lend to this movement. So I say to all of those listed on the credits page of this edition, “Thank you and God Bless You, may all that you’ve given, be restored to you in abundance. You are a part of the historical roots of this publication and as we come full circle, completing 7 whole years of publishing words of art that inspire, motivate and transform lives, may you continue to support the effort to share the beauty that both surrounds us and embodies us through these creative outlets. Today I SALUTE You….

Beauty Come Forth!

Can You Believe It?!!

Looking Back. Leaping Forward!

Wendy M. Reynolds, MS/P Senior Managing Editor, Beauty Come Forth WendyInspires @WendyMReynolds Wow! How times flies. Can you believe it has been 7 years since we first met? I find myself a little emotional. As Senior Managing Editor, I am honored to help develop and mold our Magazine into something that brings Inspiration, Motivation and Transformation into your lives with each issue. In addition, I get to do it with the most FABULOUS team.

Seven years and we’re just getting started. Seven years and we’re just beginning to come into who we really are. We have undergone many transformations. We have had many hiccups along the way, but we’ve stayed true to our mission as we walked out the first part of our journey. The transformation, the hiccups, the challenges, the breakthroughs all contribute to the overall growth, shape and beauty that has come forth. They help to reveal the real us so that we can speak to the real you.

I don’t know where you are on your personal journey- whether you feel like you’re in a good place, a hard place or maybe somewhere caught in the middle. However, this month, as Beauty Come Forth Magazine celebrates it’s 7th anniversary, I want to challenge you to celebrate with us. As you flip through all of the pages, which reflect our past issues, take some time to reflect back over your own life and see how far you have come. You’ve had some issues too. It hasn’t always been easy. Some days you wanted to throw in the towel and quit, but you didn’t. At times, you felt like a failure, but you worked through it. You loss people along the way, but you kept going. You experienced tremendous promotions and victories, but you didn’t get complacent. You made plenty of mistakes, but you didn’t stay stuck in guilt! You are here with us on this day- still pressing forward. You are here on purpose. Your life is significant and you have a mission that must be fulfilled. You have gifts, beauty and greatness within that must come forth. We are going to keep pulling on you- keep challenging and empowering you. Believe that! You are an amazing gift still being revealed. We at BCF know that. We see you. We believe in you. We celebrate you!

Thank you for allowing us into your lives. I personally thank you for allowing me the opportunity to do what I love. I find that I am at my best when I’m helping others. Being able to shed light on someone else’s path, brightens my own. I don’t take lightly that you embrace “Wendy’s Word” and allow it speak to your heart each issue.

Now that we’ve taken a look back, let’s get ready to leap forward. Our best days are in front of us! Are you ready? Let’s go!

By Evangelist Cheryll Cooks

What does the word free mean to you? Many people characterize this word as receiving an item at a discounted price, or no price at all. But how many women do you know that are living a discounted life by not truly receiving what God has for them? Or, could that person you know, actually be you?

My point of reference has always been my faith in God and belief in Jesus Christ. My goal here is not to exclude you because of our differences but instead to share what makes us the same.

Throughout my life I have read the Bible from cover to cover and did you know that the word “FREE” is mentioned in it at least 50 times? For me, the Bible has not just been a book, but a beautiful instruction manual that is here to enhance our lives. It’s an incredible point of reference better than the dictionary or a set of reference encyclopedias expressing a wonderful perspective for both Believers and Non-Believers. This simple word “FREE”, when taken in context lets us know that we do not have to be restricted, restrained, or confined. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

One of my favorite scriptures from the Bible is, “Therefore if the Son makes you FREE, you shall be FREE indeed.” ( John 8:36) What this verse says to me, is that we do not have to be slaves to our wrong-doings and we no longer have to be bound by the whispers of our past. You do not need to be a Christian to apply this philosophy to your life. It doesn’t matter how ugly the past might have been. The beautiful thing about the past is that it’s over and should no longer have an affect on your future because you are able to make a choice to change your life for the better. So what if you were a prostitute, a drug addict, an adulterer, a liar, a cheat or a thief, the good news is that Jesus sacrificed his life to free you of the repercussions of those sins and many more. We do not have to accept those ugly labels that are further compounded by the negative forces all around us, nor accept and believe this to be our truth. We no longer have to be subject to shame, guilt and bondage. Without a doubt, it is time to truly live free! I’m reaching out to all the women who are not honestly walking in this type of truth, who may not know him. Do you know any? If so let them know, He will also cover them. Living Free means accepting and believing the fact that you are definitely, fearfully and wonderfully made and in that, there are no shades of gray, doubts or maybes.

So if the word of God tells us that we can be free, it indicates a choice, so when given a choice, why not make a conscious and spiritual choice to be free and to live free? Now, stop for a moment.

Take a deep breath and tell all the negative, divisive forces around you to back off! So what… I have a past! So what… I messed up some stuff! So what…I’ve been living below my true potential instead of like the beautifully, wonderfully-made woman I am. This is not just about living your life, but living your life more abundantly, after all Jesus came that “we”, that includes you and I, would have life and have it more abundantly. But even abundance is not enough! How about overflow? It’s the ability to live with outstretched arms and open hearts with the freedom to receive all that God has for you. What if someone gave you the keys to a brand new house and said, “here, take the keys, it’s yours, and it’s already paid for”? Now, apply this philosophy to your life! Your freedom has already been divinely ordained and paid for! My faith and my beliefs are what allow me to live in this truth, knowing that Jesus paid it all! But this isn’t about me, it’s now about you. So I challenge you. I challenge you to dwell in that same liberated free spirit.

Live, live free… live free indeed!

Change You Can Commit To! By: Wendy M. Reynolds http://higherheightscorp.com

Can you sense that change is in the atmosphere? Maybe it is partly due to the New Year that we have just stepped into. What a perfect time to evaluate life and the direction we are walking in. What a perfect opportunity to make any needed adjustments in order to set us up for an incredible year and an incredible life.

Every year millions of people make resolutions and don’t keep them. They usually make these resolutions because they sound good or because everyone is making the same resolution. This usually leads to a head commitment without a heart committed to change. These types of commitments are not lasting.

I want to challenge you to really put some thought into what adjustments you need to make. Don’t sit down and write a million resolutions that you know you’re not going to keep. Take time to pray and ask God to show you areas of your life that need changing. Ask Him to give you strategies of success. He’ll give it to you and once He does, you’ll be passionate about making the changes! You’ll have an excitement for living your best life! I’m not saying there won’t be setbacks at times, but you’ll have the motivation to keep moving forward.

I’m excited. Join in with me and commit to making the needed adjustments in our lives. You can do it. I know you can. We’ll do it together! We are getting ready to live our best life! We’re getting ready to walk in extraordinary times. Are you ready? Let’s go. Here is to change that we can commit to!!

How Does Diabetes Lead To Kidney Disease?

By: Vincent L. Anthony, MD, MPH, FASN

Diabetes is a chronic disease defined as a persistently high blood sugar (glucose) levels. The disease affects 21 million people in the United States representing seven percent (7%) of the population. All ethnic minorities (Blacks, Latinos, American Indians, Pacific Islanders/Asian Americans) have higher prevalence and incidence rates of the disease. Diabetes is present in 13.3 percent (13.3 %) of the Black population. This high prevalence represents 1.8 times the rate of the disease in Whites.

Diabetes is the number one cause of Chronic Kidney Disease in the United States. In fact, forty-four percent (44%) of those patients receiving dialysis or transplant therapy reached End Stage Renal Disease because of diabetes.

Of these, African-American patients are affected 2.6 times the numbers of Whites. It is unclear why African-Americans have more diabetes-related ESRD. As the reasons for the disparity are investigated, how diabetes affects the kidney is becoming clearer through understanding of the mechanisms of disease. How does diabetes lead to kidney disease?

Poor control of blood sugar, primarily through poor diet, and duration of having diabetes are the primary risk factors for developing kidney disease from diabetes. Diabetes affects the kidneys in several ways. Firstly, the elevated blood sugar causes the cells of the kidneys to swell, making them less effective at clearing the waste products and regulating blood mineral concentrations. Not only are those cells less effective, they contribute to enhanced scar tissue formation by liberating proteins that enhance that process; it’s akin to keloid formation, just at the kidney level. Whenever the kidney is scarred, it is permanently damaged, as the process can’t be reversed.

Secondly, the increased levels cause this extra sugar to attach itself to various hormones and proteins causing a decrease or an absolute change in their function. This process, like the first, causes increased scaring in different areas of the kidney. Finally, it is currently thought that the increased sugar causes a direct effect in cell function by making it more difficult for each cell to utilize oxygen to function. This in effect causes the kidney to function under relatively anaerobic conditions. Each of us knows that if one is exercising and holding their breath, the workout is a lot shorter than if they are breathing; this is what is happening at the cellular level. Because the cells are working under these conditions, they die faster. When the cells die, the scarring in the kidney increases; thus, kidney disease is worsened.

In conclusion, Diabetes Kidney Disease affects certain populations at higher rates than others. It is important that if someone has diabetes that they know this basic risk stratification to more aggressively control the diabetes to prevent or slow the kidney dysfunction. The elevated blood sugar has several direct effects on the kidney to enhance injury and thus hasten the development of kidney disease and the progression to total kidney failure. However, however this process also causes altered regulation of blood pressure, which also speeds up the damage to the kidneys in diabetes. Look forward to the next issue when I outline this physiology and more broadly discuss the risk factors for the development of diabetic kidney disease and the natural history of its progression once someone has the ailment.

Will The Real Melyssa Ford, Please Show Us Your Beauty!

By: Jazsmin Lewis

I got the opportunity to spend some time recently with a woman that I thought I really knew. She is a model, actress and to my surprise, a true humanitarian. Melyssa Ford has been written about, speculated on and has been the source of many rumors. She has been someone I have known of for quite some time. I thought she was solely focused on moving her career forward and not allowing anyone to get in her way. She is a pioneer in the music video world and has set benchmarks and standards as a model. Considering she is only 5’2” tall, making it as a super model wasn’t likely. However, I thought that this world of surface beauty and cut throat tactics fit Miss Ford like a glove because she has navigated her way through a very difficult business and is still thriving.

In 2000, armed with 2 suitcases, $25 and a one-way ticket, this aspiring Canadian born beauty moved to New York City hoping to make her dreams come true and began working as a model immediately. It takes perseverance to move to the big, bad city alone and leap into the music business. An industry of unforgiving pitfalls and unimaginable challenges, she has managed to rise above it all. Recently she has taken her talents to the big screen co-starring in Chris Rocks’ “Good Hair” movie and previously Sony Screen Gems, “Three Can Play That Game”. She has begun working on the film, “Video Girl” in which she will play a hybrid of her actual persona, an infamous video model. She is making a name for herself in the entertainment industry and gliding through the shark-infested waters of Hollywood. Although it is easy to get caught up in the exterior, what many people don’t know is that she has used her beauty and brains to help many others.

My initial opinion of Melyssa Ford was much like that of many other people’s opinion of her. It was that of a beautiful woman but not much else. I am happy to say how wrong we are! The media has spoken about her love life, her interest in athletes and her focus on getting ahead. What they failed to mention was Miss Ford’s engaging personality, charming wit and incredible intellect. I was pleasantly surprised to find out how much time, energy and love she puts into children. She volunteers at the Boys and Girls Club befriending people who may otherwise be misunderstood or counted out in society. I was overwhelmed to listen to her talk about her passion for helping others. With so much love and compassion, she lends her time and fame to opening the eyes of people who are prejudice, closed and/or vacant in their lives. Melyssa has also been the ambassador for the charity, “Street Kidz Foundation” which raises awareness for HIV/AIDS prevention. She also has her own foundation “LESS is More”. LESS is an acronym for Literacy, Etiquette, and Strength in Self. She is currently lending her efforts to “Challengers”, bringing herself and celebrity friends to talk to children and give them positive role models. She works tirelessly in her charitable efforts and brings so much happiness to so many people. She has shown me such an inner strength that based on her slight build; I would have never known she had. Melyssa is also a fearless woman, a truly spiritual being, and doesn’t feel the need to shout her accomplishments to the world.

A woman who truly believes that action speaks louder than words, Melyssa has shown us what a person of character, principles, spirituality, and kindness really looks like. It’s easy to get caught up in the package or judge, who we think a person in her position is really like. But spending time with Melyssa a few days ago actually fed my soul. I didn’t know that a true sisterhood could be established so quickly. I’ll admit I had a slight guard up as many women do when cultivating a new friendship, but she quickly and effortlessly made me drop my wall and slide into a very comfortable relaxed place in my spirit. We initially intended to have a quick lunch and go our separate ways but that quick lunch turned into closing down the restaurant. We then moved our private two-person party to her house where we continued to bond as women, colleagues and spirits. A friendship that I believe will stand the test of time.

Jazsmin Lewis

A truly beautiful person, inside and out, Melyssa Ford, keep using your life to feed our souls.

Committing To Your Money…Not Just A New Years Resolution By: Jean-Luc Tahou, MBA, CFP It is that time of the year again where we are at the dawn of a new year, an entire 365 days of possibilities. We typically make hastened and bold resolutions that we invariably break before the end of the month. Our resolutions range from saving more, to shopping less, beginning to invest or even tithe more. I am challenging each and every one of the BCF readers to do themselves a favor and try a different approach.

Indeed the problem with resolutions is that they are uttered with only the coming year in mind. I will ------(fill in the blanks) with my money in 2010. We put pressure on ourselves to achieve such lofty goals within a restrictive period of time. The failure to keep those resolutions is usually the result of an awakening, a realization that we may have signed up for too much at once. Faced with the idea that our resolutions are too daunting, we give up before we invest too much of ourselves into them. After all, what’s the point of beginning something if we are convinced that we are going to fail? We come up with all types of excuses to justify our giving up: I am too busy, I will resume tomorrow, the issue is not that serious, etc. I will have to agree that resolutions are hard to keep, so with that in mind, I will encourage you NOT to make a resolution for this year.

I am suggesting a different and stress-free approach. In terms of your finances for this year, visualize a new person that you’d like to be. No resolution-like pressure, just a vision in your mind, a beautiful you with your finances in order. This new approach has to be grounded in the knowledge that you deserve to take care of yourself and no one BUT yourself can do a better job at it. It then no longer is about doing what you think is the RIGHT thing to do, but more so about doing RIGHT by yourself. This new paradigm is not concerned with a schedule, no longer focused on proving others wrong, no longer worrying about the guilt of our bad financial decisions. It is more about loving yourselves enough to undertake the actions that will take care of you and your loved ones.

If resolutions are a sprint race, this new commitment to your financial well being is an endurance marathon. Whatever it is that you are trying to improve, you can succeed by coming up with realistic goals and taking incremental steps to achieve them over time. I am referring to a lifestyle change where present-time gratification is somewhat curtailed and procrastination is eliminated. The time is now to wipe the slate clean and begin to live anew. By gradually incorporating change in your life, you will progressively build on those small successes to strive for bigger and better things in your life.

For example if your objective is to save more:    

Start by opening the account first. Consider this a victory Begin putting something minimal, say $10 a week into it Once you see your balance accumulating, you'll feel motivated to put a little more into it Don't be mad at yourself if you wipe it out for some reason. Bunk down and start over. Don't be too hard on yourself, but be conscious of your mistake and focus on holding off for longer this time around  When you reach a milestone ($500 or $1000), reward yourself  Set a new milestone and repeat the process The point is that small successes build up our confidence and encourage us to do better. What you do not realize is that we are creatures of habit, and this process will get you into the habit of doing something.

Resolutions are good, but a commitment is even better. We all have things we need to improve when it comes to our financial affairs. Only we can unlock the hidden potential we have inside so we can make it happen. Setting up small habits that will stand the test of time is a start. What better time than at the beginning of a new year to get started?

Ready. Set. Go....

Viva Vivica!

How This Foxy Lady Loves Herself!

By: Jazsmin Lewis After spending a full night tossing and turning over where I was going to interview an icon, I finally broke down and called Ms. Vivica A Fox and reluctantly asked her where she wanted to meet. She quickly and confidently said, Casa Vega restaurant. I know it well so I was quickly set at ease until I approached the driveway. My stomach did a flip as I walked into the dimly lit Mexican hot spot; decorated like a Christmas tree from ceiling to floor. Preparing to take a seat and wait for the actress/fashionista, I noticed a casually dressed, clean-faced incredibly beautiful woman occupying a booth to the left. I go over and begin my explanation for being late as I’m greeted with a big warm hug and broad beautiful smile. Ms. Fox is a true natural beauty. She wore no make-up and a simple low ponytail and I was able to see how truly flawless her skin is and how bright her eyes shine. We ordered a little food and as I begin to stress about why I didn’t bring my recorder for the interview, her velvety voice calmed me right down saying “Baby, don’t worry, we’ll get it done”. I was immediately put at ease.

I asked my idol how she made it to California from Indiana and she quickly let me know that she had her eye on the prize the entire time. One month after graduating High School the mid-west beauty packed her bags and headed toward her dreams. She learned early that a beautiful face and perfect figure was not going to be enough in the land of competition. So, she took a part-time job at a hot dog stand Famous Ramous in Huntington Beach and started working on her craft. As a perfectionist, Ms. Fox wanted to make sure she took the right path to her goals. She enrolled in Golden West College majoring in Social Science. After three years of college and several modeling jobs, this go-getter landed her first acting role as a contract player on the soap Generations. Spending two years learning and perfecting her craft, the producers of the mega hit film Independence Day couldn’t deny her talent, drive and beauty a moment longer. This is the film that sent her career into overdrive.

Working consistently with countless films, innumerable television shows and endless hosting jobs, I had to wonder how this woman was able to stay so grounded. At that moment she focused her attention on me and with certainty in her voice said, “My family”. As the youngest of four children, (Alicia aka Shuggy, Marvin, and William Jr. aka Sandy) her family is the most important thing in her life. Her Mother is her best friend and her father is her confidant and biggest supporter. Her sister Shuggy and brothers mean more to her than money, fame and fortune. But it’s her relationship with God that keeps her strong and her faith that allows her the time to help others. She isn’t one of those actors who have succumbed to the dark side of the industry. This is a woman generous with her time and energy working with various charities helping with causes such as, Breast Cancer Awareness, Domestic Violence, and Foster Care Programs. As I sat and listened to a woman who has seen and done so much, all she really wanted to talk about was how one day she was going to own her own studio where she would be able to turn out the quality film and television projects that would make her proud and change a young persons life. I had no idea how important the images that are seen by her legion of fans meant to Ms Fox. Vivica would rather say no to a movie or television show, than put out a negative image or an image that she is not proud of. She is more than an actress and humanitarian but also an accomplished producer. Starting her own production company, Foxxy Brown Productions, Vivica has produced more than 10 films. Owning her company has given her the freedom to create films that she is proud to be involved in. A successful franchise bearing her brand Two Can Play that Game and Three can play that Game gave her the opportunity to fight for the images that are portrayed by women of color.

When asked if she wanted to be a role model she quickly said, “I am a role mode and it’s up to me to make sure I lead properly. Women take care of everyone else before themselves: Family, spouse, children and friends… but you must love and take care of yourself first, then allow that love to spread outward”. Beautiful words spoken by a beautiful woman inside and out.

Credits: Photography by Neiko , Hair and Make-Up by Tysuela Hill, Photography by: Randy St Nichols Content: Photography by: Randy St Nichols, Hair by: Roberta Rogers,

Michael Maddox…

The Maestro of Modeling By: Demita Usher There are famous people who everyone knows, and then there are famous people that only the famous know. Mention Michael Jackson in mixed company and everyone's reaction is the same, they knew who he was. Mention Michael Maddox's name to a person on the street and you may get some puzzled looks; mention that same name to Denzel Washington, Meg Ryan, Paula Abdul, The former first lady of Turks and Caicos, Lisa Raye, Elvis Presley's granddaughter, Riley and America's Next Top Model Season 3 winner Eva Pigford to name a few, it’s a different story! So who is Michael Maddox? If you want to work in the industry and have lasting power as a model or actor/actress, I suggest you get familiar with that name. I had the opportunity to get real familiar not only with the person behind the International Modeling and Talent Association (IMTA) conference in Los Angeles the second week in January and I must say, the awesome reputation that Michael has earned is well deserved.

Michael is the Master of Movement, the Maestro of Modeling, and the Sultan of Stance and has the celebrity resume to prove it. Michael has been in the business of training models for well over 20 years; many of his former students you can and have see on television, in print ads, movies and even the red carpet! I watched him in action at the IMTA conference preparing his models for a fashion show where over 400 agents would be in attendance. He first worked with adorable kids who opened the show, then he lined up the male models moving them around like pieces on a chessboard, stepping back thinking for a minute moving another model, then another. The models that were not lined up in position, he had them audition their walk on the spot. After a few runs, he selected models he wanted for the show and thanked the rest for their time. He did the same with the female models.

During this selection process, I had the opportunity to speak with the aunt and the girlfriend of one of the male models and found out he was not there for the conference. He happened to be walking through the lobby with his aunt and girlfriend heading to the restaurant in the hotel when Michael, who was working with the models, called him over and put him in the line up. The young man tried to explain that he was not a part of the conference, but that did not matter to Michael and with a few instructions he was not only in the fashion show, he had a promise from Michael that he would continue to mentor and train him. I found out later that this is how Michael operates; the mall, supermarket, any location becomes Michael's recruiting ground. There are quite a few well-known models and celebs that I am sure are thankful they were shopping for cereal when Michael was in the store.

Knowing you need more than just a pretty or handsome face to survive and thrive in this business, Michael instructs the models he trains in grooming and character development so when they go to the agencies, they truly are more than just a pretty face. Crista Klayman of L.A. Models which was also Tyra Banks first home in the modeling world said this about Michael, “Michael made the models better than they thought they could be. He made the models better, he made me better.” I am sure there are many more that share Crista's sentiment.

I returned the next day for the fashion show and had the opportunity to see the final dress rehearsal and was backstage as Michael gave the models final instructions before they hit the runway. The fashion show was a success and many of the models expressed deep heartfelt gratitude to the “Maestro” when the fashion show commenced as they headed out to meet the agents. Michael smiled and took it all in stride. After all, he has been doing it for close to 25 years, but one can never tire of seeing hard work pay off. By the night’s end, I thanked Michael for the opportunity to watch him work.

He responded with a warm handshake and called me pumpkin and I left with the profound sense of being in the presence of greatness; and you best believe if I am ever in a grocery store, and Michael summons me, I will leave the tomatoes to fend for themselves!

In Loving Memory of both Michael Maddox and Demita Usher 1963-2013

19XX-2014

By: Jerrin Holt How much do we truly love ourselves? Everyone will more than likely generally respond to this question by implying that they love themselves more than anything or anyone else in this world.

This is a reasonable and somewhat expected answer. And if this is true, I would like to encourage you to love yourself enough to finish. Take these three random but relative foundational examples…

 



You are thirsty: Self-love = You drink water until you get your fill and quench your thirst. You wouldn’t drink a small gulp and walk away unsatisfied.

You want to fit into a dress three sizes smaller for your wedding in four months.

Self-love = You consistently workout and change your eating habits during the entire four months until your goal is reached. You wouldn’t go to the gym for two days out of the four months and realistically expect to drop three dress sizes.

You want baked chicken for dinner. Self-love = You thaw, prepare and cook the chicken until it is safe and ready to be consumed. You wouldn’t just thaw it out and expect it to cook itself.

These three instances are examples of what you would do to completely finish a task; quench your thirst, lose the desired amount of weight, fully cook your chicken so that it is safe to consume. On the latter end, there are incomplete solutions that we would not do if we expected positive, successful results. The key is finishing and how we finish. Simply putting forth an effort is not always good enough. Action without purpose or a successful completion is a waste of effort.

Recently, I prayed that God would allow me to assess and speak into a situation that a friend of mine was going through. I was hoping to encourage her to love herself even more than she thought she could by not only starting, but finishing a race that life had forced her to run. I wanted her to see that simply beginning a process was half the battle. To go above and beyond expectation would prove to be an ultimate act of self-love. Without a doubt, this young woman loves herself and is striving to do better in her life. Coming from an impoverished and underprivileged family, she vowed to break the cycle of early pregnancy, multiple children by multiple fathers, and self-restriction brought on by ignorant fear and irresponsible choices. Despite her situation, she has managed to transcend from one of the poorest states in the south and move to New York City, attain a college degree and experience a life that many never get the chance to experience. She remains a young woman rooted in fast-fading traditional values, morals and self-respect. In her eyes, to be 24 and achieve what she has thus far is victory enough. But there is more to life than just the escape (i.e. taking a drink of water, showing up at the gym, thawing out the chicken). Not to discredit her astounding accomplishments, what she fails to see is that she has only begun to drink and has not yet fully quenched her thirst. After a war, a town must be built or governed by the victor.

Beyond the war comes the act of finishing.

To tie all of this together, let’s look at the process and the finish. Now that my friend has broken cycles, it is now up to her to finish. Ask yourself this question, “Why drink and not completely quench my thirst?” Why break the cycles and overcome trials and tribulations and not go the extra mile? For example, if you get a job, have a bigger goal in mind to advance within that company. If you manage to avoid teenage pregnancy, settling and an unnecessary struggle, finish by seeking a good solid marriage and relationship and have children when you’re ready. Set goals and prosper in all areas of life and most of all, be a shinning example. Finish whatever it is you began to do and finish well. Give yourself the best options and opportunity as it pertains to you and truly give yourself the ultimate gift of self-love. It is God’s will that His children are blessed, abundant and most of all filled with love and happiness while on this earth. With the same vigor you bring to war in the beginning, finish with that same level of tenacity. Sometimes it takes a little longer to reach the finish line, but the reward, recognition and self-pride that finishing and winning affords victory beyond words.

Finishing is true essence of self-love and we all owe that to ourselves. Conquer life then set your eyes on the best it has to offer. Love yourself enough to aim and finish at the top. You’ve heard the saying before, the measure of man is not how one starts, but how one finishes.

Huummmm….You’re Pretty for a “Big Girl!”

By: Karicean Michelle So it happens just like this, you’re having one of those serious talks with a really close friend who just happens to be of the opposite sex, and the forbidden sentence comes out…”I mean you’re like the perfect women, in my opinion, you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re sweet as can be, and you’re beautiful for a “Big Girl”.

SCREEEEEECH!!!!! The words scratch along your ears like someone’s nails going down a chalkboard.

Mouth open and blinking repeatedly, your thoughts are, “Did he just say that too me? So does that make you kinda smart for an idiot?” You quickly gather yourself, push down yet another insult and add it to the already overflowing insecurity pile and in that sweet tone, respond, “Don’t worry, a good woman will come along soon.

GULP!” Or how about this line, the dreaded “HOOK UP” description, “Man she’s got a pretty face, the only thing is she’s sooooo skinny!” Or, “Yeah I like her she’s wonderful! She has a great personality, she cute, but she’s just too dark for my taste” WHAT??!!!

It leaves one to wonder why those so-called compliments were made only to be immediately snatched away with disclaimers. So what is beautiful? What size is it? How tall is it? How dark or light is it? How old is it?

Does it have a lot of money, and very few friends? I’m willing to wager that the general population has gotten it wrong yet again. With all of the diverse beauty in this world it will never cease to amaze me that one thing has remained prevalent in our society, shallow thinking.

It sounds cliché I know, but this simple truth holds true, YOU have got to love YOU…Big Hips, Full Lips, the whole nine yards! You have to see it as Dark and Lovely…Thick and Sexy, Lean and Luscious, whatever you are love it! It’s really all in how you see it. There is something undeniably striking about a woman who just knows her worth. C’mon ladies, we all know her. She’s that girl that walks in a room and interrupts conversations without even saying a word. It’s how she walks, how she stands, her kindness to others. She takes care of herself, her matters are in order, she is flawless and she knows it. She’s not rude, arrogant, or conceited, she is simply confident!

The only thing that stands between you and this type of emotional freedom is your opinion of yourself. Let’s make up our minds to throw out the old thinking and habits that lead to that hung down head syndrome. The opinion that you have of yourself is the most important one you can have so use it for your good.

Below are a couple of “Love You” tips to help you along the way.

- Stop rehearsing the physical traits you don’t like about yourself - Change your confessions about yourself - Get off the trivial stuff - Forgive your offenders - Remove yourself from negative, self-deprecating circles - Accept compliments without giving a disclaimer - Hang out with yourself - No longer give your pearls to pigs For too long we have identified beauty as one dressed in the latest fashion, sippin’ on named brand coffees, wearing big sunglasses, rockin’ a super large hand bag, and using superlatives like; “OMG!” and “You’re my BFF” Don’t get me wrong, these are all cute and fun things, but they don’t add or take away from what’s beautiful about you.

If you’re waiting on compliments from others before you consider validating yourself, you will be waiting a long time. From today on validate yourself! Remember that you are the one who has the power to state your beauty. Make it a point today to stop wasting your valuables on those who don’t deserve it. The Bible recommends that we “cast not our pearls amongst swine” and I agree whole-heartedly. What in the world do pigs need with pearls anyway? This year invest some of that love you have to give in… yourself.

The Biggest Mind Game About Cooking Goes On In Your Own Mind By: Barbie Flores

I do believe I’ve polled at least one hundred people over the last month or so and asked them what’s the word for 2010. What will changes and personal goals look like? Many of the answers were actually food-related answers. Some said, they wanted to eat healthy, change their diet, manage their health without medicine, teach their children to eat better, re-do their kitchens, entertain more, eat out less, start a garden and learn to cook.

So much of our lifestyle relates to food and being able to cook your own food is one of the best ways to stay healthy. But for many people cooking can seem like a huge challenge.

Unless you were called a child prodigy after Renoir’s or Picasso’s own heart, you’ve pretty much felt the frustration of working on an art project at school or at home and botched it. You may remember some adult coming along and telling you, “Oh don’t worry, there are no mistakes in Art, just do your best”. It would be easy to say this about botched food but the problem is we have to eat it! Or not. A series of botched attempts at cooking a meal can make us rethink things and opt for take-out food time and time again. A lot of times, these take-out meals fill our stomach but we regret it later. We tell ourselves, we’ll never order “that” again. Bad food memories last a lifetime. If it’s you who ruined the meal, it takes very little to convince yourself to try cooking it ever again. There are mistakes in cooking. It’s like everything else, sometimes you have good days and sometimes you don’t.

Have you ever taken on a project that was new to you? You researched it, read manuals, searched the Internet, went to the library, or even asked a professional before you began. In the case of cooking a dish you approach it in the same way, you read the recipe, study the cooking times, you make a list of the ingredients, you go shopping for the products and you set out to make the dish. It’s just like that bold idea to build a bookshelf, redecorate a room, or start a garden; you would start the project with ideas and some kind of plan.

The cool thing about absolutely everything you ever wanted to cook is that there are tons of recipes out there to research and to try. Our information about all things “cuisine” is over thousands of years old and well documented. Cooking to me is like music. It is evolving constantly and yet, there is a re-hashing going on all the time. Many of our current dishes are just some age-old variations or twists on “mother” dishes. In culinary language, the twists are often called, “sister” dishes.

If I could give you a valuable piece of advice regarding cooking, I would say don’t over think it, follow the recipe and give yourself time to mess it up but never give up trying! If I could erase one word from the dictionary, it would be the word, “can’t”. You can cook! The biggest mind game about cooking is going on in your mind. If a recipe captures your attention, study it first. Know the steps well before you set out to purchase products or fire up the stove. If you are cooking for the first time, start simple. Don’t try to make a soufflé’ if you’ve never cracked open an egg. Choosing dishes that have a lot of steps is a sure-fire way to be frustrated, unless of course, you are a prodigy! Reach out and take a cooking class. We take classes on how to cut hair, how to birth babies as well as how to manage our finances, why not take a cooking class that will benefit you and the entire family? It is very possible to achieve success in cooking, if you do your homework and give it your full attention. Soon, you’ll develop confidence in your ability and you too, may have some twists on those age-old recipes!

Crème Anglaise (English Cream) French Toast

16 fl. oz. Whole Milk 16 fl. oz. Heavy Cream 2 Vanilla Beans 4 oz. Granulated Sugar 8 Egg Yolks 1 loaf French Sour Dough Bread, sliced Powdered Sugar Fresh Berries Directions: 1. In a saucepan, scald milk, cream, vanilla beans and half the sugar.

2. In a separate bowl, whisk egg yolks and remaining sugar together.

3. Slowly pour the milk/cream mixture into the egg yolk mixture.

4. Pour entire mixture back into the saucepan.

5. Cook on low heat, stirring constantly.

6. Mixture will start to thicken.

7. Strain cream through a sieve or china cap.

8. Be careful not to let cream over thicken or curdle.

9. Dip a bread slice one at a time into crème mixture 10.Cook slice in small, buttered skillet, until golden brown.

11.Plate and dust with powdered sugar and fresh berries.

12.Serve with favorite sides.

Written By Wendy M. Reynolds Everyday God shows His awesome and transforming power through ordinary people. I was reminded of that when I met Marilyn Lee. Her story shows God’s love and His ability to pull us out of our darkest prisons of despair and transform our lives in ways that enable us to empower and help others. The majority of Marilyn’s life has been one lived on the edge, not recognizing how valuable she was until she made a choice that would forever change the course of her life. She has a powerful and amazing story of hope, change, liberation, and restoration. Her story is guaranteed to touch your heart. She is living proof that all things are possible with God. Please allow me to introduce you to Marilyn Lee. Wendy M. Reynolds: Marilyn, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Marilyn Lee: I’m 58 years old. I was born and raised in Long Beach, California. I am a recovering addict.

Actually I have recovered. I am no longer hopeless. I was a heroin addict for 38 years. I’ve been incarcerated 18 times. In 2001, I was out of prison for the 18th time and was on my way back six days from being let out. That is when I had my spiritual awakening. That’s when I made the decision to turn my life over to Christ. It was then that I realized I had only been existing in this world. I was 50 years old and I had never lived. I had to do something different.

Wendy: What was your home life like? Tell us about your parents. Do you have any siblings?

Marilyn: I grew up in a family with 4 brothers and 1 sister. My mother was an alcoholic and my father was a hustler. Some people would say, “If only you grew up like me, it’s no wonder you are an addict.” I no longer blame my family, my mother, or my father. I realize today that I had choices. They say addiction is learned behavior but you get to a point where you can make some choices.

Wendy: How old were you when you started abusing drugs?

Marilyn: I started using marijuana when I was 10 years. Afterwards, I started taking pills, like yellow jackets.

It progressed to heroin and finally to crack & heroin.

Wendy: Do you know what contributed to the onset of your drug use?

Marilyn: Several things. I am an incest survivor. I held that in for a long time and I believe that is why I stayed in my addiction for so long. It definitely played a major part. When I finally came to grips with the fact that I could live and no longer let that dominate my life, I was able to let it go. I was able to forgive my perpetrator as well as forgive myself and move on with my life.

Wendy: What was life like for you?

Marilyn: I was in and out of jail and prison. I was what they called a booster, a thief for 26 years. That’s how I supported my habit. I started going to jail in 1966 and stopped in 2001. I have my rap sheet. It is amazing. I never stayed out of prison or jail for a year. I went every single year from 1966 until 2001.

Wendy: You had to have lost out on a lot of life.

Marilyn: Yes I did. In addition, I lost my mother while I was doing a 5-year sentence. I had a real good relationship with my mother. Although my addiction impacted her, I never stole from her. She knew I was a

strong woman and that I could take care of myself. I was unable to go to the funeral. When I got out, I was able to go make my peace with that. In addition, I went and took care of her mother.

Wendy: Did you receive any schooling?

Marilyn: I graduated from Youth authority. All of the education I received came from institutions. I’ve always been a person who wanted to learn something. So, I learned a lot, although I didn’t use it much, I’m glad that I did get an education as it is helping me on my journey.

Wendy: How did you become sober?

Marilyn: In 2001, I gave my life to Christ. After promising God that I would make a change in my life, I went into a recovery program. I was supposed to be on my way to prison but this new opportunity was being created to give people the chance to go into treatment instead of prison. With my record, I didn’t think I qualified for the program.

Wendy: So, how did you get in?

Marilyn: I shared a cell with a lady who was looking at a life sentence. She was like a guardian angel. We prayed and had bible study, something that I had never done. In regards to going to treatment as opposed to prison, she said, “Claim it Marilyn, you’ll get it.” I sat in jail for 5 months and they passed this law, Proposition 36, which made me eligible for treatment. I was initially given a 7-year prison sentence. The judge told me, “I will put this 7 years in red because you’ll be back to get it!” I didn’t say anything, but I knew in my heart that I was not coming back.

I went into the program and did everything they asked me to do. I learned how to set goals for myself. I made it a goal to work for this program and run their sober living program. I wanted to help people. I wanted others to know that change was possible with the help of God. I wanted them to be able to look at my life and actually see change.

Wendy: A lot of people don’t make it through the whole program. Did you finish your program?

Marilyn: Yes. When I graduated from the program, I decided to go to school and be a phlebotomist. You know with me being a heroin addict, I figured I could draw some blood. God has a sense of humor. I went to the school and ran into someone I used to do drugs with. She had been sober for 3 years and was going to school for Human Services. I followed her lead. I got into the field of Human Services while still living in my recovery program. I moved on to the program’s sober living program. They offered me a weekend position. I worked there on the weekend and I lived for 4 years in the sober living program until I got my life together. I became the Assistant Program Director. When I left there I was a Drug and Alcohol Counselor and now I am a Certified Addictions Specialist.

I went to another facility and I continued to go to school. I obtained my Associates Degree in Human Services.

Currently, I am working towards my Bachelor’s Degree and I will receive that in January 2010. Afterward, I will go on and get my Masters degree. I want be a Clinical Supervisor. My ultimate goal is to obtain my PhD. After 38 years, I have a PhD from the streets but I need one to put on my wall with the rest of my achievements.

Wendy: Something tells me you’ll definitely get it.

Marilyn: Girl, I know I will. God’s grace and mercy has healed me and I have totally surrendered to the best of my ability. I’m not perfect but I know what God can do. Today I live a life that I never ever thought possible, not as a dope addict.

Wendy: Wow, God has put your feet on a totally different path. Think of the lives you have touched and the lives you can reach because of your experience. I’m sure God is opening many doors.

Marilyn: Yes, God has opened many doors. I had an opportunity through Cocaine Anonymous to do something I never would have dreamed. I went to Spain and spoke at a conference about addictions in May. I went all the way to Europe. Me! They gave me a passport and allowed me to board a plane to go talk to some addicts in Spain.

That was an experience!! I have never gone anywhere but to prison, jails and institutions and I flew on a plane to Europe and talked about drug addiction!! The life I live is only by the mercy and grace of God! Wendy: Wow that is amazing. Look at the lives you are impacting from California to Spain. God has taken you from jails and prisons to Europe.

Marilyn: I know. No one had ever asked me to go anywhere but out of their presence. It feels good to be able to help someone else. It feels good to give without false motives. Today I don’t have any motives. Before, you couldn’t even be a part of my life unless you were giving me something. All I want from you today is your honesty. As long as you are honest, I can help you. As long as I am honest, I can get the help that I need. I no longer have an ego. I had an ego as big as Long Beach. I found out from being in recovery that E.G.O. means Edging God Out! I found out that the ego needed to be smashed.

Wendy: You sound happy.

Marilyn: I’ve just celebrated 8 years sober. I have to surpass the 38 years I was in the streets. God has changed my life. I learned how to give Him control. I’ve learned how to forgive myself. That’s an important step. I read the book Beauty Come Forth. That book was me. I can’t begin to tell you how each chapter helped me to grow.

The chapter on forgiving yourself, whew, that helped to change my life.

Wendy: Wow. That’s awesome and congratulations on your 8 years! Do you have a word of advice to someone who may be struggling with addictions or life period?

Marilyn: Learn how to surrender to God, let stuff go, and get out of your own head. See I know that my best thinking only got me to where I was. So, I couldn’t depend upon my thinking. My advice to anyone would be to turn your life over to God. Give Him every aspect of it and don’t take it back. Get out of the way and let God help you and show you who you are. We stuff so much on the inside. It covers up the real us, and the God in us. Once I got sober and started uncovering, discovering and discarding those things that I had piled and stuffed on the inside of me, I started to blossom and shine. God started to come out through me. Now instead of being known for my drug use and prison record, I can leave a spiritual legacy. I can be known for something beautiful. I can be known for my acts of kindness, my service, and for guiding others to God. Wendy: Well, you are known for something beautiful and speaking of beauty, as we bring this interview to a close, tell all of the Beauty Come Forth magazine readers how you define beauty?

Marilyn: Beauty comes deep within. It’s like an unfading, gentle, and quiet spirit that’s great in worth and in Gods sight. You can dress the outside up really good but its how you are living on the inside that matters. Beauty is when the inside in right with God. Wendy: Marilyn you have truly inspired me. I’m sure your story will inspire and motivate others. I appreciate you taking time to share your story. God bless you as you continue on your journey.

Marilyn: It has been my pleasure.

Tasha Smith On the Rise By: Demita Usher Tasha Smith is a phenomenal actress who has starred in movies such as, Daddy’s Little Girls, Why Did I Get Married?, and Couples Retreat to name a few. She was gracious enough to take time out of her busy schedule to sit down with Beauty Come Forth to discuss her purpose and passions. With the upcoming release of Tyler Perry’s new movie, Why Did I Get Married Too? on April 2, 2010, her acting workshop, fittingly named: Tasha Smith Actors Workshop, and many other projects, Tasha is quite the busy woman.

When I asked Tasha if her character Angela remains the changed woman from the first installment of Why Did I Get Married, she laughed and said, “Actually, she gets crazier”. Crazier?? I asked, “Yes, Marcus now has a job, so there is fame, and more women and she is NOT having it,” she responds. Uh-oh! It looks like there is trouble in paradise and the sequel is going to lay a lot more cards on the table, so brace yourselves for another hilarious ride!

When asked about working with Tyler Perry, the excitement in her voice was very apparent as she talked about the talented filmmaker. She went on to say that you cannot help but love his work as a great writer and his stories are real life. With Tyler being a director and producer, I asked her if she too has caught the bug to get behind the camera and she confirmed that she definitely has. She has a project in the works that she is currently working on and hopes to soon bring it to completion.

We switched gears to talk about her “baby” Tasha Smith Actors Workshop (TSAW). “That is my baby!” she reiterates. It is evident this project is very dear to her when you hear the joy in her voice when she talked about TSAW. Although her workshop is geared towards pursuing purpose in the arts, she makes it very clear that her workshop is not solely for actors, but also for people in various careers such as doctors, lawyers, and administrators to name a few. In her workshops, she teaches life skills that translate into any arena whether you are an actor or an actress. “It's all about your objective,” Tasha said, “We teach that goals are greater than your obstacles. You have to press pass all that to greatness!” I then asked her what advice could she pass on to the many young women currently pursuing a career in acting, “Study and get as much technique as you can,” she emphasizes “Don't give up if that is your true passion!” As I pondered her words, she also made it clear that sleeping around is not the way to make it, but investing in your talent is.

Tasha is not only passionate about the Creative Arts, but she is also heavily involved in promoting community awareness when it comes to the devastating disease, A.I.D.S. She is an active board member at the Black A.I.D.S Institute and wants to empower the black community to be educated in protecting themselves by practicing safe sex. “I hate that this disease is killing our people!!!” she stated and she stressed the importance of getting tested. She is geared towards combating the fear and ignorance that many times prohibits the black community from being more proactive when it comes to dealing with this horrible disease head on and she is doing all she can to get the word out.

As our time came to a close, I had to ask this exceptional woman how she lives a F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S life and her answer was simple, “Living in purpose, because when you live in purpose you get everything you need; success, glamour, fulfillment...” As her star continues to rise, it is apparent Tasha Smith not only lives in her purpose, but is on track to greatness!

Look Up! Wendy’s Word

By Wendy M. Reynolds http://higherheightscorp.com http://twitter.com/Wendymreynolds

As we journey through life, sometimes we get sidetracked from fulfilling our purpose- from walking in destiny? We wander off our path and away from the promises of God. Often, it is not intentional. Life happens right? Are you feeling as if you’ve wandered off the right tract? Do you wonder if it’s even possible to get back on track? Do you ever wonder if it’s possible to achieve the things you knew you were supposed to achieve? Listen, it doesn't matter where you are or what you're going through, God has a purpose and a plan to bring you to your place of promise.

Genesis 13:14,15 says, "And the LORD said unto Abram, after that Lot was separated from him, Lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art northward, and southward, and eastward, and westward: For all the land which thou seest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed forever."

There are some key points in that scripture. The first point is that Abram conversed with God. The second point is Abram received instructions from God. Later in that chapter you, see that Abram obeyed and also received the promise.

This week, I dare you to converse with God and then lift up your eyes from wherever you are, and see your promised place! You might be in a place of despair. You might be in a place of sin. You might be in a place of excruciating pain or you may just feel lost! Oh, but look up! You may have to separate from some things that are keeping you blinded. But look up! You will possess the promise if you look up. You will walk in greatness if you look up. Don't get weary!

You Will Win! Look Up!

Spring in this Season to Healthier and Stronger Nails By: Monica Margerum www.monicamargerum.com

After enduring the cooler months of the year and keeping busy with life’s activities, you can easily neglect your nails and they can become very dry and brittle.

Regular manicures always help throughout the year, however many of you may not have the time to go to the salon to keep your nails up periodically. Creating a simple routine to prevent damaged nails can help your nails become healthier, stronger and longer.

Here are a few tips, to keep your nails looking neat and healthy:  Slathering on a cream moisturizer and apply white cotton gloves or socks on your hands and leave it on overnight. It is beneficial to help keep your hands moisturized especially when they are always in water and/or excessively dry.  Keeping your nails filed, trimmed, and buffed creates a cleaner look for your nails.  A fresh coat of nail polish including a basecoat and top coat always creates a more healthy and polished look for your nails.  Giving yourself a vitamin supplement and increasing your fruits, veggies, protein, and daily exercise for circulation. This can enhance your nails ability to become stronger and healthier on a daily basis.  Creating a simple hand scrub will not only help you save money but you will have softer skin/cuticles by sloughing off dead skin on your hands.

Simple Hand Scrub: 5 teaspoons of Brown Sugar 2 teaspoons of honey 3 teaspoons of olive oil 1-2 drops of essential oil (optional)

Put Some Spring Into Your Step!

By: Myra Bruce-Santos Flex Personal Training On Demand

Spring is here and it’s about that time where we also start showing a little more leg. In order to get our legs back in tip top shape and looking tone and defined I have included some beneficial leg exercises that can surely help you get some spring into your step and spice up your leg workout.

Because our legs are the largest group of muscles in our bodies and we use them every day while walking, running, standing, jumping, etc. they don’t need to endure weight training but once a week or maybe twice if you prefer but with ample rest period in between the workouts. If you are a runner or cyclist it a good chance your hamstring and quadriceps muscles are already well developed and that is great but you too can still benefit from actual weight training. Below I have listed some examples of excellent leg exercises with the instructions on how to do them effectively.

Calf Raises: Calf muscles are often neglected when exercising the leg but are actually one of the easiest muscles to workout. You can do calf raises anywhere at any given time without any equipment. To do calf raises simply place your hands on your hips and raise yourself upon your toes and hold for 2 seconds with a slow return to place your feet flat on the ground. If you do this 15-20 times per set and repeat each set 3-4 times you are sure to feel it and see results in a matter of weeks. For shapely and beautiful legs, make sure you don’t forget these muscles. These are exercises you can actually do every other day.

Remember to start slow and make sure you extend carefully and slowly.

Squats: This exercise is great for working your hamstrings and quadriceps at the same time. These too are included in the group of exercises that you can execute from home or the office without any equipment. The correct way to start this exercise is with your back straight with your hands resting at your side. Slowly lower yourself as if you are sitting in an invisible chair and maintain a safe stance with your feet shoulder-width apart and your head straight ahead. As you lower your body, ensure that your knees do not go further than your toes. Once you are in the “seated” position, hold for 2 seconds and slowly return to the upright standing position. If you choose, you can add weight with dumb bells or barbells for added resistance.

Leg Curls: To focus solely on the hamstring, leg curls are wonderful and quite simple exercises to do. You would need a bench, couch, or even the floor. To warm these muscles up try to do 2-3 sets of 15-20 repetitions without any weight. Once this lacks effort from you add some ankle weights if you are at home but if you are at the gym add more weight plates. Hamstring curls can add strength to your legs and added endurance.

Leg Extensions: Leg extensions will target your quadriceps. Extensions are good for runners, walkers, or those who have experienced some type of injury or pain in the tendon area. To strengthen this group of muscles will help support those tendons around the knee cap and provide more stability. A good set of leg extensions will begin with you sitting either on a chair or gym equipment with either your feet placed firmly on floor or in the equipment firmly. Your back should be straight with your head facing forward. Remember to inhale when you begin to lift your legs and to exhale when you release your legs back to the starting position. Once your legs are fully extended hold for 2 seconds and squeeze before lowering your legs. You do not necessarily need any equipment for this exercise and it can be done effectively at home or in the office by simply sitting in a chair.

Remember that these exercises work large muscle groups and do not have to done on a daily basis but only once or twice per week for strength training. To keep your legs tight and firm keep the resistance low and the repetitions high. If you really want to add muscle definition and bulk increase the weight and lower the reps. For the best results try to max out your repetitions in between 6-8 when trying to increase muscle mass.

For more information or questions regarding leg exercises, please visit www.imagefitnessrx.com where you can receive fitness and nutrition information that can help you look and feel your best.

That Bird Is Fowl By: India Holloway indiashealthyliving@yahoo.com www.indiashealthyliving.com

According to Dr. David Wallinga, from the Institute of Agriculture and Trade Policy (IATP), approximately 70 percent of America’s broiler chickens are fed arsenic at some point. This nonprofit think tank concentrates on farming policies.

The amount of arsenic is not enough to kill anyone all at once, but arsenic is a recognized cancer-causing agent and no level should be considered safe according to many experts. Arsenic may also contribute to other lifethreatening illnesses, including diabetes and heart disease, and to a decline in mental functioning. Is this what we are feeding to our children?

If you look closely, you will see that arsenic is also added to the water we use to cook and shower with. Tests show that tap water contains arsenic, barium, lead, manganese and other chemicals at concentrations that federal regulators say could contribute to cancer and damage the kidneys and nervous system. Holy Moses, we are drowning in toxins!

It’s all very scary what we do not know about our environment like freeway exhaust. But what is scarier: the chicken or your bath water? Arsenic being deliberately added to chicken is considered unnecessary by many scientists. This has been a government-approved additive in poultry feed for decades. It is used to kill parasites and to promote growth. Promote growth!

“Arsenic isn’t poisonous to everyone to the same degree. Adults vary in how their body metabolizes arsenic, depending on their individual genetic make-up. However children, infants and the human fetus now appear to be among those potentially most vulnerable to arsenic’s toxic effects….”www.iatp.org/iatp There has been a chicken explosion. The consumption of chickens has been compounded. In 1960, each American ate 28 pounds of chicken a year. For 2005, the figure is estimated at about 87 pounds per person. Currently, the bird consumption is 100 pounds of chickens per year. In spite of this threefold rise, the F.D.A. tolerance levels for arsenic in chicken of 500 parts per billion, set decades ago has not been revised.

"When this source of arsenic is added to others, the exposure is cumulative, and people could be in trouble," said Dr. Ted Schettler, a physician and the science director at the Science & Environmental Health Network, founded by a consortium of environmental groups.

A researcher from the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health, the poultry industry's practice of using arsenic compounds in its feed is something that has not been studied: "It's an issue everybody is trying to pretend doesn't exist." Arsenic acted as a growth stimulant in chickens—develops the meat faster—and since then, the poultry industry has gone wild using this ingredient," says Donald Herman, a Mississippi agricultural consultant and former Environmental Protection Agency researcher who has studied this use of arsenic for a decade. "And they've tried everything to refrain it from becoming public knowledge."

In 2004, the poultry industry was ordered to remove the arsenic from the chickens. The jury is still out to lunch.

Other exposures to arsenic    

Ingesting small amounts present in your food and water or breathing air containing arsenic.

Breathing sawdust or burning smoke from wood treated with arsenic.

Living in areas with unusually high natural levels of arsenic in rock.

Working in a job that involves arsenic production or use, such as copper or lead smelting, wood treating, or pesticide application.

How does arsenic affect my health?      

Inorganic arsenic can give you a sore throat or irritated lungs when breathing high levels Death can result in ingesting very high levels of arsenic Decreased production of red and white blood cells, nausea and vomiting can be cause by exposure to lower levels of arsenic Abnormal heart rhythm, damage to blood vessels, You may sensation of “pins and needles” in hands and feet.

May be a contributing cause of type II diabetes

The fowl bird can cause this and much more. It may be hard to believe the one food you grew up eating and loving could create so much havoc.

These findings, although merely suggestive, indicate a possible relationship between chickens, arsenic exposure and diabetes.

References Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry (ATSDR).

2007.Toxicological Profile for Arsenic (Update). Atlanta, GA: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Public Health Service.

“Self” Magazine January 2009 Issue article “ Fowl Play” Where can I get more information?

For more information, contact: Agency for Toxic Substances and Disease Registry Division of Toxicology and Environmental Medicine 1600 Clifton Road NE, Mailstop F-62 Atlanta, GA 30333 Phone: 1-800-CDC-INFO • 888-232-6348 (TTY) FAX: 770-488-4178 Email: cdcinfo@cdc.gov ATSDR can tell you where to find occupational and environmental health clinics. Their specialists can recognize, evaluate, and treat illnesses resulting from exposure to hazardous substances. You can also contact your community or state health or environmental quality department if you have any more questions or concerns.

What About Your Friends?

By Wendy M. Reynolds http://higherheightscorp.com http://twitter.com/Wendymreynolds

We often hear the rumor that women can’t get along. It is said that we always compare ourselves, compete with one another, feel threatened by each other, judge each other, and are quick to gossip about one another. I believe those rumors have been started to keep us blinded to power and influence that we have when we come together on the same page.

I am blessed to have some good female friends. The motive of our friendship is to pray for, encourage, strengthen, and support each other on our journey. We share in each other’s laughter as well as in each other’s pain. We encourage each other to pursue our dreams and we celebrate one another’s accomplishments. I don’t have that with everyone in my life, but I do with those whom I consider my inner circle.

When is the last time you celebrated or encouraged your friend? When is the last time you felt celebrated and supported by your friends? Are your friendships bringing out the best in you?

Are you on the same page?

This week I challenge you to start defining and strengthening the friendships in your life. Don’t invite people into your inner circle who do not bring out the best in you and whom you cannot support. Find time to share a word of encouragement with a friend this week. Send a handwritten note in the mail celebrating your friend and friendship. Give them some encouragement for the week. Schedule time when you can hang out and exhale.

If you do not have any good female friends (nothing against male friends, I have both), take a risk and try to develop a few. Don’t buy into or validate the rumors. Amazing things happen when you connect with and value the good people in your life.

From Fashion to Personal

Make Over Your Life!

By: Brandy Alexander

Ah, Spring. The time of year when one’s thoughts supposedly turn to love; when the blah of winter snow melts and the spring flowers begin to bud.

The grass once again blankets the ground in various shades of emerald and the trees begin to clothe themselves once again in leaves of green. The sun reveals itself as we wake up from the dark slumber of winter. Spring announces itself in many ways- the chirping of birds outside our window.

The buzz of bees as they flutter around the flowers. The awesome selection of spring dresses, sandals and cardigans in spring flavored colors and prints like melon, spa blue and terracotta.

Yes, spring has a way of exciting the senses- eyesight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. Spring wraps itself around the body of our lives in a way that no other time of year can do. The season of spring waits for no one and as the earth begins to re-dress itself in preparation for the upcoming summer season. I begin to think about refreshing my wardrobe, getting some new make up and switching my hair color and style. Out with the old and in with the new. Time to add bodysuits, boy shorts, knee highs, jumpsuits and torn Jeans to my closet. Time to switch my hair into a chignon, top knot or wear it with one braid to the side. Time to infuse my closet with turquoise, the hot new color of the season. Time to wear warrior inspired prints, sporty outfits and boyfriend blazers. It was time for me to begin the “spring cleaning” process of my closet. What clothes to put away for next winter, what to keep in rotation and what to give away.

But as I begin to pack away the long sleeve Henleys, Boucle` jackets and wool cardigans for next winter, a thought occurred to me. Why not, during this season, also invest time in re-dressing your mind? Taking a minute, an hour, a day, a weekend, whatever it takes, to literally address those personal questions and hang-ups that hold us down.

Why not spend time addressing those personal matters, which have weighed us down with emotional baggage?

Every sweater, stocking and jacket you pack away reminded me of a year of financial strain, relationship strain, and employment strain. My lost house. Canceled trips. Loss of Health Insurance. Would I ever regain the confidence to step out in faith to do something new? Could I trust where my life was going and allow God to direct my steps? What do I do now? The tears begin to flow as I grabbed my last sweater vest and packed it away.

Those tears started the renewal process of my mind. As I cried out all of my issues, I being to feel the peace of God settle on my heart. Things would be okay. I would move forward into faith, purpose and destiny as the role I was born to fulfill. Spring is a constant reminder for us that though we go through the “winter” of our livesdarkness, storms and disasters-, we can once again trust and know that the sun will shine again in our lives and on our situation. Year after year we have seen winters come and go an then spring once again comes and shines forth with all of its beauty and power to revive our senses.

As we spring into summer and go about updating our hairstyles, wardrobe and homes, let’s not forget to update our minds. Feed yourself new thoughts and ideas. Allow yourself to dream big. Go beyond your boundaries and comfort zones. Explore the dead places in your mind and plant the seed of purpose. Don’t allow the deadness of winter to stop you from entering into the spring of your life. Understand that you have come out of a hard place and have emerged stronger, better and more determined than before. Determine to be who God has created you to be. Determine not to wallow in guilt, missed opportunities and defeat. Determine to use your situation as a stepping stone into the place that you have been called into. This is your season and your time is now!

In the night of a trial, a hard place, an unexpected change, crying lasts only for a moment, but joy will come in the morning of your life. So take time out to smell the newly bloomed flowers and allow the warmth of the sun to caress your skin. Try out that new restaurant, try on that new outfit, wear that new shoe, and add that new hat, scarf or ring to your accessory closet. The birthing process of the new you has begun.

So, be encouraged and spring yourself into the summer of your life!

By: Lanette White Moving out of my shadow And casting one of your own Deferring to your own wisdom Letting me know that you're almost grown People say that you're just like me And I think that's unfair...

You're so sweet, shy and pretty With beautiful brown hair My daughter, My friend I love what you're becoming and what you do No, not Minnie Me But, Full-Sized You! Love Always,

Mom

A Mother’s Love By: Rosalind Y. Tompkins

A Mother’s love is sent from above; Created by God to show how it’s done; It nurtures, it heals, it covers, and it fills; It possesses and caresses; Just like the One and Only Begotten Son. It is unconditional love that is sent from above, From God our Father who is also a mother.

The closest thing that I have ever seen; To the real deal of love that is like none other, Is manifested in God in the person of a Mother!

This poem is taken from my book, “You Are Beautiful” and it was written years ago especially for my mother the late Louise Clark. I wrote this poem to my mother because like many people, I found my mother to be an extraordinary woman. I owe her my life. I don’t say that just because she gave birth to me. Yes, I appreciate that but what I am referring to is the time when I was caught up in the vicious cycle of addiction for twelve years of my life and how it was my mother who stuck by me and prayed for me. I will never forget how on one occasion when I was locked up in a psychiatric ward in Miami, Florida that she came to visit me and I was completely out of it. I found out years later that after that initial visit to me she fainted on the way out of the hospital. She kept saying over and over again “I didn’t raise my baby girl to end up like this, God why?” It wasn’t until years later after my recovery and my work through the non-profit organization that I founded over nineteen years ago, Mothers In Crisis, Inc., that my mother was able to answer the question why and to be proud of me! I thank God for allowing my mother to see the positive things that I was able to do through the power of God before she departed.

However, I really wish my mother could have stayed around a little longer in order to read “You Are Beautiful”, and not just because of the poem included and the fact that I dedicated it to her. I believe the book would have

really been a blessing to my mother because she always struggled with her perception of how she looked. She was a beautiful woman even at the age of eighty-five. Perfect strangers would tell her how pretty she looked and they always complimented her on her smile. The thing that struck me was that she would come home and tell the stories of how she was praised for her looks by someone and then say something like, “I don’t know why they said that.” Or “They were just saying something.” When she said things like that I would immediately gently rebuke her and say, “They said it because it’s true”. She would then smile but I knew deep down she didn’t believe that she was beautiful or deserving of the compliments. You see my mother was from the deep south.

She grew up in a small town in North Florida (Freeport), and then she moved even deeper south to the Mississippi Delta. Her grandfather was a slave and she grew up in that era where people believed that “white was right” but “black get back”. The ideal beauty for African Americans was the lighter the skin with long flowing hair, the better. They had such things as the paper bag test, if you were darker than a paper bag, then you were considered too black and ugly. Many black women including my mother grew up with a self-loathing that in many cases they passed down to their children, especially the girls. One of the reasons that I rebelled so hard against my mother and started using drugs was because inside of me I knew that to be a lie. I wasn’t affirmed as a beautiful child because I was darker than the rest of my siblings and my hair was quite kinky growing up and on top of that I was tender headed!

My mother lived through the Civil Rights Era and the time when blacks began to shout “Say it Loud, I’m Black and I am Proud!” She died right before the election of our first black president, Barack Obama. Through it all, she still did not know that she was beautiful not just because of how she looked on the outside but because of the God on the inside of her who manifested His glory so wonderfully through my mother. I am however comforted by the fact that through my book, “You Are Beautiful”, my daughter, granddaughter, and women of all ages will have a chance to know where their true beauty comes from and realize that by the grace and glory of God, they are Beautiful!

Rosalind Y. Tompkins is the author of “As Long As There Is Breath In Your Body, There Is Hope”, “Rare Anointing” and the newly released “You Are Beautiful”. She is the founder of the grassroots community-based, non-profit organization, Mothers In Crisis, Inc., a life coach and the senior pastor of Turning Point International Church located in Tallahassee, Florida. For more information visit http://www.rosalindytompkins.com.

Valor Under Fire Consider the words: courage, bravery, spirit, fearlessness, heroism, boldness, honor, and gallantry. Look in any dictionary under the word Valor and these are the synonyms that appear. I consider it an honor and a privilege to be the Editor-In-Chief for Beauty Come Forth. Each month I get to stretch my imagination to come up with wonderful ideas of how to visually and creatively stimulate our readers. But for me, no amount of glossy photographs, flawless coifs, brilliant make-up or sexy clothing can ever account for sewing a seed into a fertile spirit.

I realize that many of the articles I write, come from a place that, while considered Third World, is traditional and pure. I don’t believe I have written an article yet in this publication that did not in some way reflect my Caribbean heritage. I don’t think that’s an accident nor am I ashamed to use this dynamic as my point of reference. I grew up in a time and place that I feel has been long lost and replaced with instant gratification and microwavable human interaction. No need to take your time and make sure everything is right, just add water and stir. But I am also a firm believer that change is truly possible. I cling to the hope that one day the world will return to a place where we are happy within ourselves and even more elated about each other. I pray for the day when women will once again completely revel in their womanhood and femininity. Before the throngs of emails come in, let me clarify by stating very clearly for the record that femininity in no way equates to weakness. God gave each sex its own set of powers.

I meditate on the day where men will once again step into a role of leadership as was divinely ordained. I long for the day where women will allow men to be “gentlemen” and men will again assume the position of hunter, gatherer, and provider, while allowing her to do what she has been designed to do, which is procreate, nurture and protect. I know this may seem like the view of a cave man but I’m OK with that. It’s in the hunting and gathering that men learn the most about themselves and their strength. It’s also where they make amazing discoveries that alter the course of life. At some point man had to venture out into the world to kill so that he could provide from himself and his family. In this process he miraculously discovered fire. That too, was no accident at least I don’t believe that it was. I believe it was divinely ordained.

When did we begin to make these unreasonable demands on each other? Have we evolved so far up that we have also created a chasm between the sexes? Lately I have been spending quite a bit of time in the south, mostly Atlanta and Memphis. I believe that when the hustle and bustle of big city life is stripped away, you become more in-tune with the subtle nuance of how people treat each other. Thankfully there are slivers of unadulterated moments between the sexes that reveal glimmers of hope, if we allow ourselves to come back to center. It makes me feel good, gallant and chivalrous when I open the door for a woman and she politely says “thank you.” There is something that happens within her and any man worth his salt can see that. Her posture changes, it’s in her eyes; she feels like a queen and believes me when I say that we feel like kings, like gentlemen, like “real” men. I truly don’t believe that many women know just how good that feels to a man. Ladies, please understand that all we have is our masculinity, all is we have is our valor, all we have is gallantry, and all we ask is to be allowed to live in that purpose. Opening a door is just the “tip of the iceberg.” Imagine the legacy of masculinity that can be all yours when you allow a man to be just that, a man… of Valor!

Davide, Editor-In-Chief

Ginuwine: The Entertainer, The Father, The Humanitarian By: Jazsmin Lewis

As I walked into the dimly lit Nokia Club in Los Angeles, I felt a sense of energy in the air. The crowd waited in anticipation for the man they came to see. As the music began, there was an unleashing of an uproar from the crowd. Smoke, lights and flashes from the forbidden cameras were blinding. Like magic, he walked on stage and Ginuwine suddenly satisfied every woman by just appearing and allowed her to watch him move. The expectancy grew while we all waited to hear hits like “Pony” and “In them Jeans” and anything from the newest album, “A Man’s Thoughts”. The beat was infectious when he sang “Last Chance”, and “Trouble”. Song after song, his intensity grew. The crowd sang along and security could barely keep the groups of people out of the aisles and away from rushing the stage. Suddenly with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, 45 minutes passed, the show was over and you could hear the crowd exhale and move toward the back of the room to cool off.

As we sat down to talk after the show, I am acutely aware that the man in front of me is not the same entertainer from the stage just 30 short minutes ago. I saw the man, not the veteran, crowd pleaser with raw sensuality and confounding dance moves. All of the bravado from the previous performance disappeared and all that was left was a man who looked almost boyish in his good looks and clearly was unaware of his disarming charm.

I composed myself and began to ask him all of the standard questions that are to be expected in any interview but realized there was so much more under the surface. He looked at me with penetrating, soul-searching eyes, before answering each question. He explained to me that he left the music industry for a brief moment when the economy began to fail and devoted his time to his family. “To do what a dad is supposed to do” was what he explained to me. I sat and began to see the person that was sitting in front of me with a different set of eyes. The extraordinary

dancer, singer and actor that we all know and love became the father, husband and humanitarian that we all aspire to become.

As I listened, I notice Ginuwine’s eyes began to light up as he talked about what he loves, his family. He and his wife Sole’ have a few homes in Kansas City that care for mentally disabled children. With a little government subsidy and a lot of hard work, money and passion from these two, SPRUCE was born. SPRUCE is the acronym for, Special People Requiring Unique Care. It is a home that cares for children with different challenges while teaching them basic life skills. These are homes where they live, thrive and call their own. These unique children learn how to cook, clean, and socialize and are also given the skills it takes to acquire a job best suited for them.

I was informed that a person is at their best when allowed to be productive. Having a job or duty in their life can bring a child incredible joy and satisfaction. He started this home two years ago and plans to expand throughout the country. He is planning the second SPRUCE home to be in Washington DC where he and his family live to, “Bring some of the love back home”. I never knew how much time, patience and passion Ginuwine devoted to kids. He and his wife also have a book program where they distribute books to kids and help them learn to read. Being a father gives him the peace we all search for and when he is not working and providing for his own children, he travels the country helping others. “I just wish I had more money. I love kids so much and I want to do so much more.”

Further into the interview, I noticed that he began to shift in his seat. He revealed something that he doesn’t often talk about.

It is an act of love and kindness that he keeps very private, as to not draw attention from the media. He told me that he loves the holiday season because this is when he gives out presents to children who would not otherwise have any. “There’s only so many cars, clothes and material things you need to have, after that, why not share”. This was a profound statement.

I left our interview that night, with a deeper understanding of Ginuwine the man, the husband, the father, the giver and extraordinary human being.

The Food Bank of Southern California By: Tashanda Giles-Jones With the help of volunteers, private and corporate donations, the Food Bank of Southern California provides nutritious food for approximately 250,000 people per week and distributes over 6.5 million pounds of fresh produce. This Los Angeles based non-profit organization has been providing food for improvished children, families and seniors since 1975. The Food Bank is the primary food provider to over 700 community-based agencies who help to feed the hungry in Los Angeles County through emergency and non-emergency food programs.

This highly efficient food bank is known throughout the U.S. as being the most cost effective at maintaining a small budget that yields an enormous impact. Their mission is to provide basic sustenance and proper nutrition to the community’s hungry citizens and to ensure that no individual go hungry, not even for a single day. This mission is achieved by consistent growth. They continue to expand their distribution services to charitable organizations, not currently in the agency’s network. They sustain and expand their wholesome nutritious food donors and focus on the well-being, health and educational improvement of their recipients.

In recent years the Food Bank has fed an unprecedented and growing number of Los Angeles County residents living in poverty. The waning economy and 98% increase in unemployment in Los Angeles County has created an overall increase in the demand for their services. The number of unduplicated people requesting food services in 2008 increased by 42% (from 6,002,125 to 8,520,178), and another 23% increase happened in 2009 (from 8,520,178 to 10,500,420). The rapidly changing economy has put significant additional pressure on the Food Bank’s already tight operating budget.

As long as there are hungry children, families and seniors in our community, the Food Bank of Southern California intends to be a major force in the fight against hunger. Members of the community make a significant difference in the lives of hungry people. Whether it is collecting, sorting and repacking food, running special events, or conducting grassroots fund raising projects, volunteers are the daily bread of The Food bank. Volunteers provide time, energy and financial donations that make a lasting impact on the important work of feeding the hungry. If you are unable to donate time or money, please consider an in-kind donation.

Goods Needed:  Cardboard boxes for repacking food  Clear Packing Tape  Cleaning supplies (window cleaner, floor cleaner, & all purpose cleaner)  Paper drinking cups  Historical images of building site circa: 1912  High resolution digital camera  Two Flip Video™ Camcorders  High resolution digital scanner  Copy paper 8 1/2 x 11 (white only)  Label maker for index files and folders Services Needed:  

Newsletter and Annual Report graphic design Printing of newsletter, annual report, campaign collateral materials as well as stationary, folders, business cards, and envelopes.  Shipping or freight service  IT Support Visit their website for additional information and the opportunity to see how you can give back, http://www.foodbankofsocal.org * Information listed in this article was provided by Food Bank of Southern California.org.*

She’s Pretty, but…

By: Randy White In a world of “ Celebrity Fit Club”, “The Swan”, “Dance Your Ass Off”, and “Extreme Makeover”, it’s no wonder men today hang on to the superficial idea that thin is in, beauty is above all things, lighter is righter, and big boobs and a small waist are the makings of the perfect woman.

So, I propose the networks start producing programs with titles like, “The Biggest Gainer”, “Dance Your Ass On”, “My Thick Natural Body”, or “The Beautiful Black Sheep”, and watch heavier, natural, and darker become cool. Remember, the word is “Tel-a-vision”, not … “Tel-a-truth”, because even reality TV is scripted. But these are the constant images that shape our reality.

Ironically, most men who want the slimmer girl, the lighter girl, or the prettier girls are victims of their own hypocrisies. Most of us have at least 20 pounds of undigested food in those sacks we affectionately call beer bellies, guts, or pop bellies. In most cases, we have bald or thinning hair and have not achieved one/tenth of the accomplishments that we set for ourselves, or the ones family members and friends have set for us. So… the passing down of blame derived from our shortcomings and low self-esteem begins. In this misogynistic society, that we live in, it’s no wonder a man’s inadequacies are okay, but women better not falter one iota or the man has an excuse to do whatever he wants, or so society perceives.

Truth is, we are only allowed to do and get away with whatever the women we are involved with allow us to do.

Women, YOU have the keys to life. From your beginning you have had the ability to control the tempo of all the relationships you have ever been a part of but did not know it. You have the ability to give life, nurture it, and instill the knowledge of beauty and wisdom to all you come in contact with. Not realizing your power until you are in your golden years in-lies the problem. By then, you have suffered through a number of heartbreaks, disappointments, and failed relationships. Respect is given, when respect is demanded.

Understanding knowledge of self and your rightful place in God’s creation is the true secret. You must realize you are the closest thing to God’s presence a man will ever encounter. You are the imparters of wisdom, the givers of life, and the writers of the laws of nature. Man is here to plant the seeds of life, and to logically enforce and fulfill the laws of nature. It takes the emotional connection of a woman to nurture and love selflessly.

Unfortunately, the roles have been misappropriated to the degree of complete confusion. The roles are constantly at battle or in reverse in a competitive struggle of who is in control, or who will be the leader…man or woman?

The key is actually finding the balance that God intended because the perfect balance of wisdom and compassion paired with logic and strength can be an awesome experience!

So WOMEN, stand up and RECOGNIZE YOUR POWER, and we will sit down and bask in your presence.

The Beauty of a Man

By Sharon C. Jenkins As children we were all told the story of David and Goliath, a story of how a man-child slew a huge giant who was terrorizing the people of God. Theoretically King David was many things: a mighty man of war, a beloved king, and a man after God’s own heart. The scriptures describe him as a handsome man, which may explain his intoxicating way with the ladies. To give you a modern day example, I am reminded of another fine specimen of a man, Denzel Washington. He has an alluring charm that attracts women of all ages, sizes and ethnicities.

As a result of his stature, King David had many children. When we study the biblical account we find out that his household lacked a firm hand in the area of parenting. This is evident in the story of Tamar, King David’s daughter, in the book of II Samuel. Tamar was raped by her half brother, Amnon, who was heir-apparent to King David’s throne. This generated a hatred between Tamar’s brothers, Absalom and Amnon, which eventually resulted in Amnon being murdered by his half brother. Afterwards Absalom went into exile and later returned to the kingdom to overthrow his father. This reads like a modern day political faux pas, doesn’t it?

The scriptures state that when King David heard about the rape, he was angry but there is no record of him dealing with his son for this hideous act. Therefore Absalom grew to also hate his father for his failure to discipline his brother to the tune of pushing him out of his God-appointed position of authority as king.

A mighty man of valor takes care of home. When it’s all said and done the history books record King David as one of the greatest warrior kings that ever lived. Yet in the heart of his children he was found lacking in giving them the loving guidance that they needed to be truly successful in life. I did not say that he did not love them, but that he did not parent them. We have multiple generations of children who have been raised in homes where there have been absentee fathers. Society is an accurate picture of what happens when this becomes the norm.

Utter chaos reigns in the land, babies making babies, dropout rates soaring, teen suicide is at an all time high and the cradle to prison jail trail is full of young men following in the footsteps of their fathers.

We can’t change the past, but we can change the future. King David had another son who replaced him on the throne, Solomon.

When God asked him what he desired, answered “wisdom.” My prayer is that in the days to come, those men who put on the mantle of being a “mighty man of valor” will seek the face of God to find the solution to redeem the youth of this nation and become the fathers that these children never had. As in the case of King David he attempted to get it right at the end of his life and God heard Him and was rewarded in his latter days with the gift of King Solomon. May he do the same for you my brother. I love you and hope for your speedy return to your rightful place in the divine institution called “family.” You are so beautiful to me.

FREEDOM

By Minister Cheryll Cooks When we think of freedom oftentimes we think on a very linear basis, in other words we see freedom one way and one way only. We see freedom as living without having to deal with certain things (chains, bars, or challenges); and though it’s a very real and true way of looking at freedom it shouldn’t be the only way.

Freedom isn’t merely casting off the physical chains that may bind you; nor is it having a life without any challenges; FREEDOM real FREEDOM means living life to the full despite any and all challenges . . .

Need an example; okay, I’ve got a story to tell you about a little girl named Regan A. Owens.

Nine years ago Regan was born; the last of six children and all five of her brothers and sisters were born healthy and have lived what most would consider normal healthy lives.

Not so for Regan, she was born without thumbs, horseshoe kidneys, mis-aligned hip, esophagus doesn’t function properly, her stomach was actually attached to her esophagus and she has to have a feeding tube just to name a few things wrong with her physical health. If that weren’t enough, she was also mis-diagnosed the first 4 years of her life.

In the last year or so her parents learned that she actually has Fanconi’s Anemia: A genetic disease that affects children and adults from all ethnic backgrounds. It is characterized by short stature, skeletal anomalies, increased incidence of solid tumors and leukemia’s, bone marrow failure, and cellular sensitivity to DNA damaging agents.

She’s had thirteen surgeries, and lives with all of the aforementioned symptoms of Fanconi’s Anemia including Leukemia and actually underwent a bone marrow transplant summer of 2009.

Her doctor’s reported that she would never speak, or write or even walk due to her mis-aligned hip, with one leg shorter than the other. But wouldn’t you know it she does all three and she does them well. She’s even claimed herself a little boyfriend, my nephew Emmanuel and all she does is giggle and blush whenever she hears his name.

Recently she’s found that when you’re 5, you can actually have more than one, and therefore started a serious love connection with a much older boyfriend J’yon.

In spite all she’s had to endure with and in her little body, I’ve watched Regan enjoy a freedom, that most may never know.

You see freedom isn’t yours because you’ve never been bound by issues or challenges; freedom can be and should be yours despite those issues or challenges. Regan, even at the tender age of five, clearly understands that she’s not bound physically or otherwise by the definition of Fanconi’s Anemia or the limits of an official doctor’s report. She is completely under the belief she doesn’t owe death anything because Jesus died and gave her rights to every good thing and that includes living life to the full! – John 1-:10 NIV When you or I would complain about the situation, Regan consoles others regarding the situation . . . now that’s FREEDOM! Regan, is free but she constantly has to remind the adults that we need to get free. You see sometimes as adults we might just think about her and her situation and want to cry but if you hang out with her for more than a minute, you’ll find her laughing and before long you’re laughing because hers is infectious.

Over the past five years Children’s hospital of LA, became Regan’s first home. She’s been in the hospital more than she’s been home with her family and though she gets tired and just wants to be home with family and friends, she has yet to complain about being sick. She has more than one issue to deal with on a daily basis and yet she understands that the life she has, is her greatest gift from God prompting her to live in a constant state of freedom!

This is the mind-set of a little girl with so much to complain about, yet lives life “to the full” whenever she can . . . for as long as she can.

Regan’s favorite entertainer is Miley Cyrus also known as Hannah Montana. Miley sings Regan’s absolute favorite song. Not only are they the words to Regan’s favorite song; they are the words that make this five year old girl cry, because she understands them and it’s her outlook on life: “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus I can almost see it.

That dream I’m dreaming, but There’s a voice inside my head saying You’ll never reach it Every step I’m takin’ Every move I make Feels lost with no direction, My faith is shakin’ But I gotta keep tryin’ Gotta keep my head held high There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side It’s the climb - Chorus The struggles I’m facing The chances I’m taking Sometimes might knock me down, but No I’m not breaking I may not know it, but These are the moments that I’m gonna remember most I’ve just gotta keep goin’, and I gotta be strong Just keep pushing on, but Repeat Chorus (twice) Keep on movin’ Keep climbin’ Keep faith baby It’s all about, it’s all about The climb Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah.

The next time you feel chained due to life’s circumstances or bound by certain issues remember Regan and the fact that Freedom is hers and it can and should be yours despite the climb!

Miley Cyrus, “The Climb,”

Secrets for a Healthy Sex Life (part 2) Interview with Sex Therapist Alexandra Katehakis MFT Clinical Director of The Center for Healthy Sex Author of the book: “Erotic Intelligence”

By: Margo Hudson Sex! People are definitely having it, but it’s not an openly discussed topic for many... not even with the one they‘re having it with! I believe that the inability or unwillingness to feel free enough to communicate about sex or anything else with your partner destroys the opportunity for real love, intimacy and connection to grow in and out of the bedroom.

In part two of this very special interview with Alexandra Katehakis, we’ll explore deeper into the physical side of sex and learn tools we can use to empower ourselves and our sexual relationships. A healthy sex life is the result of a healthy relationship with ourselves first, then secondly how we relate to our partners. May you all take away something that puts you on the road to increasing the quality of your love making experiences for life.

Margo: What factors contribute to a womans inability to experience orgasms and what steps can a woman take to began experiencing them?

Alex: This is a common problem. First, an orgasm is nothing but a big muscle spasm! Largely it’s about being able to give up control and relax one’s body and stay present in enjoying pleasure. Many women don’t feel entitled to experiencing the pleasure in their bodies. They have hang-ups about how their bodies look, taste and smell. So there’s lots of anxiety and tension internally, instead of saying: “I’m good enough as I am and whether my partner likes it or not, is up to them to decide.” “I’m not going to worry about it right now…I’m going to enjoy myself.”

Another big factor is that many women aren’t breathing during sex. And when you don’t breathe, you can’t orgasm! Imagine taking a breath right now, even as were talking, and inhaling down into your pelvis. Into your vaginal canal. You’re going to have a very different experience than if you were breathing up into your chest.

Because all of that oxygen is going into the vascular system of the vaginal canal. It‘s about blood flow, the reason men take Viagra! Pelvic breathing increases blood flow, and that’s how we relax our bodies. This is how orgasm in part happens.

Orgasm Tips: 1. Get out of your head! Stop thinking about whether you’re okay or not.

2. Pay attention to the connection between you and your partner. Are you making eye contact? Are you talking?

Are you saying, “I love You.”.. or “that feels good.” Express anything arousing to the two of you as a couple. Is there feedback happening that’s relational, as opposed to some sort of pornographic scene that’s going on in your mind because you’re trying to orgasm, and it has nothing to do with the person you‘re with.

3. Notice what’s happening between your ears. What’s happening between the two of you? Are you present with your partner or thinking about the laundry you’ll do later? Are you present with the sensations in your body, allowing the full spectrum of pleasure? What does it feel like to be touched, in the way you’re being touched?

Are you breathing?

Margo: What factors contribute to erectile dysfunction and rapid ejaculation in men and what can be done to begin healing these conditions?

Alex: Well, a lot of men have anxiety also. Erectile dysfunction and rapid ejaculation are both problems with anxiety. Men put pressure on themselves about performance, and it becomes almost like a race that they must finish. It’s becomes all about the intercourse and ejaculation as opposed to the process of connection, curiosity,

touching, tasting, getting to know your bodies. Also your body in relation to your partner’s body. All bodies aren’t created the same even though they all generally look the same.

For men It’s about slowing down. Women appreciate it when men slow down, because that allows for the experience of the touch, and sound. What is it like to whisper into one another’s ears? That’s a very arousing and erotic process. What is it like to kiss slowly? To taste.. to breathe? Certainly touch is a component of sexuality.

If we can stop thinking about sex as orgasms and intercourse, there’s a whole world that occurs. Also It’s shocking how many men think that they are responsible for their partners orgasms. One thing men and women have to get straight in their heads is that, we’re not responsible for one another’s orgasms. Each person is responsible for their own orgasms and that’s about being a grown-up.

Men and breathing: Premature ejaculation comes from anxiety. Men should Breathe, Slow Down and not be so anxious about pleasing their partners.

Margo: Is it important to share our fantasies with our partners?

Alex: Sharing our fantasies makes us more vulnerable, and requires people really deal with what’s true for them. If you reveal your fantasy to your partner and they really reveal their’s to you. That’s vulnerable and can be highly erotic. Typically, people don’t tell their partners their fantasies. For example: Fearing that if you’re uptight about what I’m telling you, your tendency could be to shame me, as opposed to saying, “why am I up tight about that?” So if it makes me uncomfortable, considering how freaky it is, I have to look at my discomfort and challenge myself to grow as a sexual being. People sometimes do crazy stuff without anybody knowing, but when it comes down to sex with their partners, they reveal nothing. So the sex gets boring fast. I think fantasy's great when it includes the two people having sex* Role-play can be fun for couples, as long as they keep the emotional connection going, and it’s not just about performance.

Margo: Alex, what an informative conversation! Thanks again for sharing with me and the readers at BCF! Alex: Thanks Margo, it was my pleasure!

Resources: + Alexandra Katehakis, MFT The Center for Healthy Sex http://www.eroticintelligencebook.com http://www.thecenterforhealthysex.com + Certified Sex Therapists: The American Association Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists ASECT.org + Certified Sex Addiction therapist: IITAP.com

4 Simple End Of Summer Ideas!

By: Kristin Ballard

This year don’t let the summer waste away. All work and no play is can be boring so take some time out to have a little fun. Here are some fun and simple ways to make some amazing end of summer memories. #1: Take a road trip Looking for a fun, simple summer trip? Hit the road with some friends, turn up the music, and go on an adventure letting the road take you where it may. Well maybe not just hit the road…it takes some planning but for the most part it’s fun. If you have the money to spend you can always take a road trip to your nearest casino hot spots, do a spa getaway, or even up to the mountains. Make sure to tailor make your trip on your interests such as, games, relaxation, restaurants, shopping, or even hiking. One place that you can go on your adventure can be the zoo or aquarium. Who doesn’t remember those field trips when they where a kid? It’s really inexpensive and you may learn something you forgot as a child. #2: Volunteer If you really want to work on your community service take some time out to help. One of the first places you could try is a summer camp with your local YMCA to be a role model for younger kids as well as have a little fun. If you enjoy working with your hands, you can always go to Habitat For Humanity and assist in building homes. Another option is finding a summer internship to learn the behind the scenes of a career your interested in while also improving your resume. #3: Go to the park One of the best parts of summer is those lazy days at the park when it’s just you and nature. I love to grab a blanket, have a picnic, relax, and lay back and get lost looking into the sky. Another idea is to bring your friends, laugh take some pictures for Facebook or even gather and have a BBQ. What do you have to lose it’s free! Its always fun to spend time with family, friends, and enjoy good food. #4: Go to the beach/lake It seems to be a given to go to the beach or lake in the summertime. It is your opportunity to go out and get kissed by the sun. Getting a tan is a great look before you go back to school, it looks as if you’ve been on a really amazing vacation and you may have just when down the street. Even in your refreshed look always make sure you use sun block it keep away the sun damage which can age you.

An end of summer event is to have a bond fire with friends and family.

You can take the time to think of all the fun things you did during the summer.

It’s always fun to take your mind out of your everyday situations, clear your head and just enjoy the ride of what summer has in store you!

Seriously?…Enough Already!

by Chris Gilrath II Chris Gilrath, II is an avid observer of everyday life and popular culture. He has a passion and love for the arts and entertainment and channels this through writing and reflecting on his blog “Gil-Gil: Just My Five Cents”.

Chris has mentored the youth within the local metropolitan Kansas City Area through his youth ministry at Metropolitan Missionary Baptist Church. With his practices as an educator and mentor, Chris sees the struggles that today’s youth and young adults deal with on a daily basis. He also understands the challenges that people face in their lives and understand that often times the issues that are imposed on us subsequently, are imposed on others and are never dealt with.

Joy, pain, and triumph are a few emotions he uses to share his knowledge with others through rich, vivid and intense story telling with the release of his upcoming book, “Seriously?….Enough Already!”. Chris looks forward to his book to be the vehicle to reach the mainstream media with his storytelling and humorous approach to everyday life.

Chris has been kind to release a few excerpts from two of the chapters in his upcoming book, “Seriously?…Enough Already!”. With his direct approach people of all ages will enjoy his take on everyday life and issues.

Chapter 11 Enough Being A Drama Queen: Are You The Victim or The Victor?

“Sadness bears no remedy for the problems in your life. While you run your race, keep a smiling face. Help you set your pace. Life is on your case.” –On Your Face by Earth, Wind & Fire (written by Maurice White, Charles Stephney, and Phillip Bailey) 1976.

What does one think of when the word “drama” is spoken? Do you think of the soap operas that come on during the daytime? Do you think of your local theatre troupe acting in front of a stage? OR when you hear that infamous word “drama” does the name of a certain individual pop into your head? Is this a person that if you looked up the word “drama” in your dictionary, you would see a picture them with crocodile tears next to the definition. This is what is commonly referred to as the drama king or drama queen.

Johnny and Joann Drama are very common in our culture today. Our pop culture has taught us to embrace these dramatic people. Look at the overabundance of reality television series, and countless celebrities who are always full of drama and grief.

To break it down this type of person has the “its all about me” mentality. No matter what you are going through, they are always going through something worse. Every time Mr. or Mrs. Drama come around you know there is going to be some type of drama involved. You ask them how they are doing (and before you gasp in terror at the horrible act you just committed) Johnny or Joanna begin to tell you EXACTLY how they are doing. Joann Drama’s life is never easy. She has had a lot of issues happening in her life. She is constantly in tears and sad

with the hopes that someone will ask “Joann what is wrong?” Joann will snap in a moment’s notice, if she feels she is being attacked.

Here are some warning signs that you are dealing with a Johnny or Joann Drama: 

Does Johnny or Joanna Drama ALWAYS, ALWAYS have a problem?



No matter what your problem is, Johnny or Joann Drama will always have a problem bigger t



han yours.



Johnny or Joann Drama are always on the defensive even when you are joking with them.



Johnny or Joann Drama is dramatic or intense about the smallest of issues that normal people find a slight issue or incident. Johnny or Joann Drama make it a HUGE PRODUCTION and are surprised that you are not taking it as seriously.



Johnny or Joann Drama need to be the FIRST to tell you bad news. If they are not the first then they are pissed off.



You proceed to tell Johnny or Joann Drama about your personal situation whether good or bad they will always, always make it about them some way. They are very creative at it.



Johnny or Joann Drama does not actively listen to you when you tell them about their problem, they are thinking about their situation. They are just waiting for the right moment to cut you off or but in and interject their own personal drama.



Johnny or Joann Drama is always around people who make their situations worse and bring them down.

Do you ever wonder that the reason is because they have to continue to feed their drama…OF COURSE THAT IS THE REASON.

Does this sound familiar? If you have identified with the checklist above, you have a Johnny or Joann Drama in your life, or you MAY be the Johnny or Joann Drama. If you are dramatic at least OWN that you are. Several of you are reading this chapter and are like “Oh hell yeah I know a dramatic person! Humph!” When in reality what you need to do is go look in the mirror. TAKE A GOOD LOOK. Chapter Thirteen: Enough Dummy: Ignorance is NOT Bliss It seems like we have begun to celebrate or honor a culture where it acceptable to be ignorant. Being intelligent, articulate, and respectful has become a thing of the past. I see girls who have lost all types of selfrespect for themselves by dressing in skimpy, revealing clothing, cussing like a sailor, allowing some no good hustler to “get them panties”. I see young boys, and men alike who sag their pants, cuss and disrespect women (while the women allow it), go around with their hair uncombed, unbraided, and walking around holding their crotches, and yelling so many obscenities, you blush a little when you hear them. It seems like our pop culture celebrates this now. Look at all of the reality shows that we have now that teach our young people that you do not have to be famous for anything but just being famous. You do not have to work hard for anything, just become a brand; a phenomenon and you can get on TV. It seems like everyone is getting a reality television show these days where you see people talking with no common sense, cussing, having sex,

“getting their smoke on”, partying till wee hours of the morning and then coming home vomiting. This has become appealing?

Its time we go back to having that self-respect. The merit of my manhood is not by how many females I take to bed, but by the level of respect that I give them. The merit of manhood is not determined by huge amounts of wealth and power, but in the pride that I take in doing the job or honing the craft that God has blessed me with.

We as a society have got to start saying “Enough is enough!” Our vocabulary is more than just “b****”, “ho”, “trick”, “crump”, etc. As Justin Timberlake says, “I’m bringing sexy back”. Well I’m bringing classy back! It’s time folks. Yes it’s time.

By: Jerrin Holt When is the last time you’ve been to school? Some might argue that they’ve had enough schooling over the years and very well might have the degrees to convincingly apply to such an argument. But spiritually we can never have enough schooling whether we are teaching or learning. Just like the system of school we all grew up in, spiritually we have teachers and students as well. The good thing about spiritual schooling is that we will forever interchange between the roles of student and teacher. The privilege, blessing of age, experience and studying God’s word grants us wisdom and understanding about many different aspects of life. We are like students taking a course in life. It is after we emerge from our life’s lessons that the student is prepared to take on the role of a teacher and can regurgitate prophecy, advice and truth through the power of wisdom, understanding and prayer.

Not too long ago, I found myself morphing into the role of the teacher about a subject I was all too familiar with on both sides of the issue…heartbreak.

Sitting in a restaurant with a friend, a conversation ensued about a mutual friend who had just experienced devastation within her love life. The story goes as follows…After engaging in a long distance relationship for almost a year with a military man; this particular young woman began to notice a significant change in the attitude and behavior of her beau. Like most people do in relationships they long to be in, this young woman remained hopeful and figured that the rift in their relationship was due to the distance and frustration of being thousands of miles away from each other.

After a while, the relationship had grown to become quite draining and wearisome. The boyfriend commenced to end the relationship stating, “He just couldn’t do it anymore.” Now the young lady remained optimistic and hopeful because she knew that her man would be returning home very soon. In a mix of denial and disregard she allowed her mind and heart to proceed and prepare for a healing of their relationship. She envisioned marriage and a family and all the wonderful things that life has to offer when jointly connected with a partner. The tragedy happened when the soldier returned home and it was discovered that the reason behind the change in his behavior and his choice to eliminate his long distance relationship was because he had gotten married while he was away and could no longer pursue a relationship with his long distance love.

The impact of this news nearly broke the hopeful girlfriend who had loyally waited for her soldier’s return. She was so distraught that she suffered at work, nearly lost her mind and even contemplated suicide. The question then arose during my conversation at this restaurant of, “What do you say to comfort or console someone who is going through heartbreak such as this?”

As I initially prepared to ramble off the top of my head, I realized that the depth of this issue far exceeded the sway of poetry or the surface advice of my faulty human bias and emotion. It was then that the teacher in me emerged. And like teachers and professors in school systems, the information and lessons they teach are lessons of history, fact and research. I then took the time to pray to my one-stop shop for history, fact and research…God. Almost in an instant His words filled my heart and His visions filled my mind in the form of a couple of beautiful yet, simple metaphorical examples. These examples should or could help those who have gone through, are going through or will one day face the torture of heartbreak. Sometimes solving/coping with problems is as simple as breaking them down, seeing the bigger picture and considering alternative and reasonable viewpoints.

We’ve all heard the old saying that “time heals all wounds”. It isn’t so much that the wounds heal, but they are covered and bandaged, which protects us from infection and further complications. Humans are blemished, imperfect beings. Suffering, bruises and burns is just as much a part of life as is joy, triumph and prosperity. How would we be able to measure good without evil or joy without pain? The beneficial, (yes, I said beneficial) thing about being wounded and surviving is that it serves as a lesson and experience for our future. The blessing of tragedy, especially when it comes to love, is the opportunity to move forward and try again. Let’s compare love to a forest fire if you will. If you have ever seen the aftermath of a forest fire it is devastating. All life and landscape lay burned and in ashes. But not too long after the blaze, new vegetation sprouts forth from the earth to replace the old forest and restore it to a state better than it was before the fire. In relation to heartbreak, we must understand that fires will happen. Mistakes are made, hearts change, lies are told and some people are burned and wrecked because of these experiences. But as factual and automatic as new vegetation sprouts forth from the forest floor, with the love and power of God, He enables the same system of restoration to take place in our lives. Although traces of the blaze will remain for quite some time, the new you that God is raising from the ground up will be bigger and better than who you were before heartbreak occurred.

Another relatable point of view of how to analyze and deal with heartbreak came to mind when I grappled over the workings of life. In its raw essence, life has a beginning (birth) and an ending (death). Think about the sadness and voids we carry with us when people close to us pass away (parents, friends, spouses, etc). However, there is a flip side to this cold hard fact of life, think about the antonym of death, which is life. Just as life is taken away, life is given as we experience the birth and joy of our own children, nieces, nephews, grandchildren and so on.

Heartbreak works pretty much the same way. Until we meet the person God has for us, we may experience bad relationships and bad break-ups from time to time. Things painfully cease to exist, but then become replaced as we stand strong and continue to move toward the light with optimism and our faith in tow. God has relayed a message to mankind that if we seek Him in all that we do, He will add unto us all of our needs (Matthew 6:33).

On our quest to find that special someone, if we trust that God will provide and try our best to follow His instruction, eventually when He sees fit, a great and lasting love will be given unto us through His ordainment.

Now, if we were perfect beings life would be so simple and our significant other would appear at the command of our yearning as easy as light appears during the day. But we are not perfect, so break-ups and heartbreak are consequences of our mortality just like death is a consequence of sin. We complicate life and love because along the way we tend to allow our own thoughts, desires and ideas to empower our selfish actions.

This is when we tend to make mistakes and/or attract tragedy in our love lives. Sometimes we will be able to understand why heartbreak has occurred and other times the reasons behind other people’s actions are not so clear. It is during these times that we experience the death of love, a major wound if you will. And quite naturally mourning ensues and that memory, life lesson and pain will never quite fade just as the void and sadness of a lost loved one will never truly subside. I truly believe that God allows us to try things our own way, He then employs consequences or limitations and it is up to us to eventually figure it out and see that we need Him to pull it all together. Some people never get it and spend most of their lives wasting away in bad relationships or worse, living their entire lives without a companion or the experience of true love.

It is almost inevitable that most people will go through heartbreak on some level within their lifetime whether they are the offender or the victim. And if one is shrouded with the unfortunate fate of having to be the victim then they must face the experience of being wounded and burned. It is common for victims of heartbreak to mourn. In the worst cases, some nearly lose their minds and a few even contemplate harsh solutions such as suicide. During these times it is important that we understand that the pain and anger will not last always. After the initial blow of heartbreak come progress and the birth and gift of new life. Your forest has burned down, but seeds lie underneath the ashes and are preparing to sprout forth new vegetation. Oh the glory of God Almighty, our Rock, the True Lover of our souls, our Redeemer! If you stay in tune and connected with the Lord, He will add unto you a love of equal or greater value than the one that was lost along the way in the journey of love. In the midst of tragedy hold tight and stay faithful and God will provide new life in some shape, form or fashion to compensate and restore your spirits, trust and love. Think about it this way, if your partner has left you or broken a bond with you then obviously he/she wasn’t “the one” God intended for you to settle with. There is still light and joy to come because “the one” still remains out there in the world somewhere. Just like the cycle of life, the death of love makes room for the rebirth of love. Faith, prayer and time will present you with reward and victory for it has already been promised to you. As long as we live, we will forever teach and be taught about the complexities of love. It is up to us to listen, learn and pass its tests to achieve our degrees from the school of heartbreak!

Warm Thoughts

by Naoe May we lay together in a field of tall grass talk about the present future and past hypnotized by wispy clouds lingering in blue skies no need for us to disguise feelings nor fears comfort each other through our tears laugh cuddle meander about confident and trusting without a doubt share our dreams as we bask in sunbeams chill with the breeze while birds sing us a symphony no one around but you me God with His love abound assured above all else knowing He is pleased we've made Him proud

daydreaming sending warm thoughts ŠNaoe 04.19.2010 7:54pm

SEATING ARRANGEMENTS: VIP, Preferred, or General Admission By: Demita Usher

We spend most of our life sitting down; sitting down to dinner, sitting in traffic, sitting in church, sitting in meetings, etc. We get to events early to find the best seats and sometimes save seats for friends and family who are running late. Some times where we sit is chosen for us; the seat number and row tells us where to sit at that sold-out concert, the place card at table 6 at a wedding reception, and at one time in American history AfricanAmericans could only sit at the back of the bus, and if the bus got too crowded, they had to give their rightful seats to a white passenger. In society, sometimes we can sit where we please, sometimes we are told where to sit, but there is one place where we have the right and responsibility to decide where people sit, and that is in our lives.

King Arthur created the “Round Table” to eliminate ranking where people sat during meals and meetings; to create a sense of equality among peers so to speak. In books on etiquette and entertaining a guideline for proper seating at dinner is provided. High ranking guests of honor are either seated at the head of the table or the Head Table next to the host or the hostess and remaining guests were seated in succession alternating male and female.

Many of us in our lives want to seat every one in our lives “King Arthur Style”, but it would be in our best interest to follow closer to the guidelines of our etiquette experts seating them according to the level of importance and a good host or hostess will be able to make the distinction. As the host or hostess of your life, it is time to put those skills to work. Some may ask, who should “sit” where in my life? This is a good question that only you can answer and although I cannot tell you where to “seat” people, I present what I hope to be a guideline to make it an easier task to tackle. Using one form of seating common to concert arenas this is one way to make clear distinction; General Admission, Preferred, or V.I.P General Admission In this section, people are quite a distance from the stage but they can still enjoy the festivities. The largest number of concert attendees sit here because these are the cheapest seats.

Who should sit here?

This is for people who are acquaintances you occasionally hang out with. These are people that usually contact you when they need a favor, they talk to you when it is convenient for them, sometimes they may or may not return your calls. They keep you in their Rolodex for easy retrieval. It costs them very little to be in your life.

People who were once in preferred or V.I.P can be seated here if they do not value the relationship with you as much as they once did. These are people you want use a long handled spoon to deal with.

Personal Example: I had a friend who was dear to me, we hung out, worked on projects and gave each other prayer support, but in the last couple of years she has only contacted me when she needed a document notarized o r costuming for her upcoming projects, so I moved her from Preferred to General.

Preferred Seating These people are closer to the stage and their tickets are a little pricier. Because they want to be closer, they pay more. The people who sit in this section are fewer. These are people you want to continue to cultivate and value the role they play in your life.

Who should sit here?

These are people who stay in constant contact with you, they check to see how you are doing, you share meals some laughs and a few tears with them. They are a regular presence in your life and support you when they can.

They demonstrate by their actions that your friendship is valuable to them and they have a vested interest in the relationship.

Personal Example: The bulk of my friends are seated here. They are great supports and I am thankful for them and what they contribute to my life in so many ways, I can only hope I have done the same.

V.I.P Seating/Front Row These people are the closest to the stage and have the most expensive tickets. If they did not pay for their tickets, it is because they have a close relationship with the person on stage; they are close friends, family, spouses, significant others, managers and agents. These people many times also have backstage access, a privilege that people in preferred or general seating people do not have. This circle is very small.

Who should sit here?

Ah, these are the people who have been in the trenches with you. They have faced the enemy head on with you without batting an eye. They have helped you dodge “bullets” and have taken one on occasion in their support of you and vise versa. These are the people in whom you can share your greatest triumphs, greatest defeats, your fear and all of your tears and they love you just the same. They will call your mess, but are there with mop and bucket to help you clean it up. You can call them at 2 in the morning for prayer and they will get on their knees with you right then and there. Treat these people like a rare diamond, they are irreplaceable and are few in number.

Personal example: I only have a couple of people here in my life and these people have seen me at my best and my worst, but loved me and supported me just the same. I have called them for 2 am prayer and they have called me at 2am for prayer. My life would not be the same with out them.

This seating arrangement is not meant to be one-sided, but it is guide for how people should be “seated “ in your life. As people mature, their seating arrangements can be moved up or down as you see fit. How you are “seated” in the lives of others depends on the involvement and investment you have made in those relationships. Perhaps there are times when you have demonstrated Preferred or VIP status by your actions, but they keep you in General Seating, if that is the case, it is alright because one advantage to General admission is that if you need to leave, you can sneak out and no one will even notice. Then you can go where you are celebrated and not tolerated, seated in a place of honor.

Beauty By: Vendetta Lewis

When I look into the mirror, I don’t always see a pretty sight.

Sometimes I am discouraged, I didn’t do everything just right.

But Jesus has a standard that may be strange to some.

To him when I’m obedient, the more beautiful I become.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty is only skin deep.

Beauty comes from cosmetics. These are things you here on the street.

But true Beauty comes from Jesus; it is a matter of the heart.

Adoration, thanksgiving, and praise for Him, let Jesus make your heart smart.

Queen Esther had true Beauty; she obeyed the Lords command, And stood against the kings decree to kill every Jewish man.

Ruth also had inner Beauty, and did not count it loss, To worship Naomi’s Lord and God, no matter what the cost.

Ana the prophetess served God daily with fasting and prayer.

And would not leave the temple until she saw the holy child there.

But even though old in years her Beauty could be seen, By faithfulness and self-denial, truly a daughter of the king.

Mary the mother of Jesus surrendered her body and soul.

She had not known a man and did not understand, but gave God total control.

In quietness and strength Mary’s Beauty was made known.

Obeying the call, misunderstood by all, yet willing to stand-alone.

Dorcas a humble disciple was known throughout the land, Because kindness, mercy, and compassion were shown by her unselfish hand.

Even with her servants’ heart, Dorcas deemed her ministry small, But all who knew and loved her said she was the most beautiful of all.

By reading God’s love letters we learn what Beauty should be, An attitude of thanksgiving, peace, love, and humility.

A heart that is constantly seeking the best in others to find.

Speaking words that are wise, words that are true, words that are gentle and kind.

God measures beauty by our actions, not what’s seen on our face.

A heart that is willing to obey Him and His holy word embrace.

This Beauty is in a different bottle, applying it is entirely up to you, Your appearance will have another purpose, a Beauty that’s treasured and true.

A Fabulous Dinner Party By: Barbie Flores

I’m hosting a special party! It is a dinner for a group of amazing individuals who love life and enjoy celebrations. They are writers, artists, musicians, actors, philanthropists and brilliant thinkers.

Screeeeeeeech! Stop! What kind of food will I serve? What is my theme? What is the atmosphere? What does my table look like? The bigger question, what is my budget? Have you ever been in this position? There is so much to consider when the occasion and the guests are top notch.

Picture this, if you will. The table is elegantly draped in crisp white linen. There are fragrant white votives glowing with soft light. Autumn leaves and beautiful grapevine branches, along with blooming centerpieces adorn the table. Pristine china place settings, flanked with fine crystal stemware for some of the most amazing guests have been meticulously arranged. The aroma of rosemary and garlic is wafting from the kitchen.

Smooth jazz offers its sound to a relaxed backdrop. At the table, we hear laughter, banter, and stimulating, thought provoking conversation about the state of affairs in the world, fabulous trips to Africa, the latest movies, books we are editing, our families and other interesting people.

Sound like a pretty amazing dinner party right? There are so many details in the mix, and this dinner party is not something we try to pull off in a couple of hours. For most of us, the planning for this party might take a week or two, maybe even months. It is often a big undertaking to get all of the details together. Maybe this why we love event planners and caterers so much! Suppose you must do it yourself (D.I.Y.)? It will take some planning but it is possible.

The things to consider first would be date and time. Are you crowding out an upcoming holiday and considering your guests’ busy schedules? Also important to consider, is the guest list size, your ability to accommodate the size and the “food fight” factor, as in the personalities of the guests attending. Does everyone get along? You would be surprised! Think about the theme of your party, as this will greatly influence your menu and the amount of time you need for preparation. Are you celebrating something specific or is it just friends getting together? You also want to be able to prepare some things ahead of time, so that you will not appear like a butler, running back and forth to the kitchen, reheating or doing last minute cooking. This will allow you to enjoy your guests and

contribute to the quality and elegance of the occasion. The type of wines or other beverages you choose should complement the meal. If you are serving something light, you might consider a light beverage. If you are serving South American food, you may want to consider a nice Malbec wine from Argentina or a Rioja if you are serving Spanish food. The table-scape, the décor, as well as the music you select should create an elegant atmosphere. If you are hoping for some serious “catching up” or important dialogue, you would want to consider the music’s volume. Can your guests hear each other well? All the components should complement one another.

Finally, it is a good idea to do some research to learn things like basic table setting techniques, wine pairings or which wine glass is used for the type of wine you will serve if you have never done it before. Putting a checklist together is the greatest recommendation I can make. Keep in mind that atmosphere and presentation is a vital part of the dining experience. Included are some great recipes to help with your fabulous dinner party. Enjoy and until next time, make sure nobody goes hungry!

Take Flight with TOLIA BCF Covergirl

By Demita Usher When an angel comes into your life, filling it with love, how do you say good-bye? Tolia Terrell has had to not only say good-bye to one angel, but also three in the form of her precious children. Tolia's children were affected by a Mitochondrial disorder. According to Wikepedia, Mitochondrial diseases “are a group of disorders relating to the mitochondria, the organelles that are the "powerhouses" of the eukaryotic cells that compose higher-order life-forms (including humans). The mitochondria convert the energy of food molecules into the ATP that powers most cell functions. Mitochondrial diseases comprise those disorders that, in one way or another affect the function of the mitochondria or are due to mitochondrial DNA. Mitochondrial diseases take on unique characteristics both because of the way the diseases are often inherited and because mitochondria are so critical to cell function.” Tolia's children suffered from the neuromuscular form of this disease identified as Mitochondrial myopathy. When Tolia, President of Stylist of the Stars of Fashion and Talent Management had to say good bye to her children, she refused to grieve in silence, she was determined to make sure that her experience with this devastating, but unknown illness would not go unnoticed, and it is with Beauty Come Forth, she decides to share her story.

BCF: So Tolia, what were the names of your three precious angels?

Tolia: Jaylia, Paige and Elijah. Jaylia lived to be a year old, she died the day after her 1st birthday, Paige was 4 months and Elijah was 11 months.

BCF: When was the disease detected?

Tolia: With Jaylia we did not know she had it; she was diagnosed with having a heart condition. It was not until a muscle biopsy was performed on Paige and Elijah that we found out the truth.

BCF: Does this disease affect a lot of children?

Tolia: This disease is rare, very complex, and very hard to detect. It affects about 1,000 out of every 100,000.

BCF: So roughly about 1% of children born are affected?

Tolia: Yes, that's right and they rarely make it to their first birthday.

BCF: Like Sickle Cell Anemia is identified with African American children, can the same be said with this disease?

Tolia: Actually it’s mostly diagnosed in Caucasian children and in my case it is even more rare, I am the only African American woman that I know of, that has had three children succumb to the disease.

BCF: I had no idea this disease existed. Why do you think so little is shared about it?

Tolia: Because so little is known about it. Doctors have very little knowledge on how to treat it properly. They treat it the best they can with physical therapy and vitamins; and even those remedies are not effective on all patients.

BCF: From what you have seen, is there a lot of research being done to find a cure?

Tolia: Research is being done, but the issue is money. Funds are not as abundant for researching this disease as it is say for cancer and A.I.D.S, I want to change all that by having more fundraisers to generate more awareness, I will walk the streets if I have to, to get the word out.

BCF: What can we do to shed more light on this disease?

Tolia: Research and read up on it. It is a terminal disease that handicaps those who suffer from it and it cuts their lives short.

BCF: Speaking of fundraisers, I hear that Style Star Online is working with you on a fundraiser scheduled for November 13th, 2010?

Tolia: Yes, this is a mixer that we plan to have on a monthly basis to raise funds for the disease to educate and inform people. The launch mixer is November 13th and it is not just to raise funds, but to also support families who are dealing with the disease. We are also inviting doctors to share information about this illness. Elijah's doctor, Dr. Camacho will be speaking at the June event along with our MC and Hostess, Beauty Come Forth Founder & Editor In Chief, Myra Wallace. We are also blessed to have other celebrities who are lending their support.

BCF: Where is this event going to be held?

Tolia: The event will be held Saturday, November 13th at 6:00pm at 427 E Broadway, Long Beach, CA. All the proceeds from the event will go to the UCI Research Center for Mitochondria.

BCF: Saying goodbye to your angels was difficult I am sure and such experiences can sorely try ones faith, in the mist of such circumstances, how can you advise others to keep living fabulous?

Tolia: My family, friends and church home keep me grounded. Any trial we can oversee, but we still praise God. I thank God for giving me strength. If I can get through it, anyone can. It is God that keeps me, for he will not put on you more than you can bear. I am excited about what I can do to change how people see this disease.

My life is not over, I still have a lot to learn.

And Tolia, you have taught me a lot!

If you cannot attend the event and would like to send a donation or would like more information about how you can support Take Flight Fundraiser & Fashion Show, please call 562-456-7211 or email Tolia at stylistofthestarsmngt@gmail.com. All the proceeds from the event will go to the UCI Research Center for Mitochondria.

I Am Perfect Exactly As I Am By: Shelby D. White

Have you ever noticed those girls who are just pretentious? Those girls who go to school, parties and even church with the obligation to impress everyone who lays eyes on them? They look at everyone with an air of self-confidence; but when they are alone, reality hits them. They aren’t as glamorous and popular as they come off. These girls never think once about just being content with themselves. In my heart, I feel pain for what they go through. The pressure to look and act a certain way can be stressful, tiring, and heartbreaking. I know how it feels to put on a show for people but come home unsatisfied because I, too, was a pretender.

I started my pre-school through 1st grade at a predominantly white school and my parents were concerned that I develop a good self-image, so I was switched to a predominantly African-American charter school for the next seven years. However, even with all the uplifting conversations and black history month’s projects and programs, I still didn’t feel as if I was anything special. The often praised light-skinned girls with the long hair and multicolored eyes were given all the encouragement and thought of as intelligent while those of us who were dark skinned with kinky hair stood back, watched and waited for accolades that never came. I hated my skin, my hair, my teeth and my mind. I hated me.

Three years ago, I started my high school career at a predominately white school. I was determined to project a new image. During this time, God brought me certain people such as Myra Wallace, author of Beauty Come Forth, and Karicean Michelle, celebrity stylist, to make a change within me. Although I have known them since I was three (3) years old, I was never as impacted by their Godly counsel until I entered high school. These women taught me about confidence and appreciating who God made me to be. Although my parents taught me the same thing, it just felt different coming from them. These were people who others looked to for beauty tips. However, from them I heard the same thing that I had heard from my parents, which was that God made me in His image and that inner beauty should be what makes me beautiful, not what I pretended to be on the outside. The Bible says that you are supposed to be comfortable in your own skin. In fact, Psalms 139:14-15 says, “I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works and that my soul knows very well” (NIV).

Now that I am a senior in high school, I look back at all the years where I’d acted foolishly, and just laugh. It’s funny how pretentious I used to be. For me to think that I wasn’t pretty or wasn’t special in any way baffles me because I now know who I am, what I’m capable of, and who I came from, which all leads back to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. God’s word is ultimately the one that counts in my life. He didn’t pretend to be almighty God, He just is. I am no longer pretending to be Shelby White and I know that I am perfect exactly as I am.

Transform Your Thinking to Transform Your Life

By Myra Wallace I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1-2 The enemy loves to put thoughts into our minds and if we’re not careful those thoughts produce strongholds that produce feelings which land us into bondage all because we listened to the devil more than we listened to our God! But the good news is we have weapons with which to defeat him. The spiritual war we're fighting requires us to open our spiritual arsenal of weapons and put on the whole armor of God because this war cannot be fought in a normal way. We can’t hit, shoot, strangle, tie him up, or put Satan in jail; but we can defeat him when we use the right tools.

We need only to look to Jesus to identify the most powerful weapon we have. You see when the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness Satan immediately tried to tempt Him and make Him question who He was, but instantly after every attempt of the enemy, every lie of Satan Jesus used the Word of God to rebuke Him and cast Him away.

You see the Word is God's manual for life. God's Word is His will and it’s only when you seek His plan that you can achieve the success and fulfillment you desire. His Word is foundational. It's the road map that guides you to your divine destination, without it any path you take may lead to a dead end.

Before you can truly transform your life you have to become established in the truth of God's Word and understand the role it plays in your life. When our minds are consumed with the Word of God it opens us to transformation which in turn moves us closer to the will of God for our lives. Easier said than done, we find ourselves regularly responding to situations in our lives more like the world than like Jesus because deceived minds lead to deceived lives. It's these very responses that put barriers and limitations on God's ability to act on our behalf. It's a wellknown fact the deepest recesses of the mind are where life's fiercest battles are either won or lost and abundant living can only be achieved when you intentionally walk with an undefeated attitude. So, the question I ask you is what are you thinking? What's on your mind that's reflecting in your actions?

By allowing the Word to guide you you’ll make significant progress in life. God's Word is the starting point for everything and it promises to bless and empower you. Don't continue to let your lack of knowledge concerning the Word hinder you from life changing breakthroughs.

Women of God we've been set apart and our thinking shouldn't be like that of the world. Worldly wisdom isn't worth anything if it doesn't line up with the Word. We should have a different logic a different mindset than the world. We should have a compassionate mind, a consecrated mind, a careful mind that causes us to think more of others than ourselves, die to our flesh daily, and be on guard as to what we subject our minds to.

The transformation of our mind and our thoughts should give us a different mission and purpose from that of the world. Our lives should be lived in service and sacrifice to God and not ourselves. Sacrificing our time, our talent,

and our treasure is what will keep our thoughts focused on the important things of God that bring about kingdom living. If your life is a mess then your thinking is probably a mess because you've allowed Satan to use your mind as a dumping ground.

When our thinking has been transformed we’re not the same person we used to be. We have different companions, ones who'll encourage us, not entangle us. Our hearts desire is to now be in the world, but not of the world. Our speech conveys God’s grace. It preserves & doesn't destroy. Transformed thoughts replace irrational assumptions that we have to be loved and accepted by those who are most important to us and live up to their expectations or that we have to be perfectly competent and successful in achieving before we can be happy with ourselves or that it's easier to avoid certain difficulties and responsibilities rather than face them because we now know the truth of the Word that says "Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matthew 5:11,12) or "Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter but of the Spirit, for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life." 2 Corinthians 3:4-6) because truthfully too many of us assume that our wellbeing is based on being loved and accepted by people. We predicate our achievements on our ability and competence alone rather than acknowledging God equips us, energizes us, and enables us to be competent for everything He asks us to be, do and think.

It’s time to transform your thinking to transform your life.

COLLECTION

Still Paving the Way through Difficult Times By, Stephanie Franklin

Women writers are still paving the way through difficult times. Through the years women of all races have had to endure some very hard trials, but yet and still they have managed to overcome them through the help of the Creator—God. The ages carry their own weight. Whether young or old, women have been through and have come out victoriously and have made an impact on society with their writing, their accomplishments, and their willingness not to give up when times got rough.

One of the reasons I started a publishing company is because of my experience with writing and wanting to publish my first book. I can remember how I did not have a good experience publishing my book because I did not have an understanding of the publishing process. I felt rushed through the process and I also felt as though the publisher did not invite me to participate in the process. There was not a relationship. There also was not a great celebration of my accomplishment. So along with my expertise and wisdom from God I opened Heavenly Realm Publishing in May of 2007. Then what I noticed was an influx of women, of all ages, coming to me with their stories or books. But what I also found was that they had the same experience that I had before starting the company, was a misunderstanding in how the publishing process of publishing a book goes. They came with many bad publishing experiences and hurt feelings from money to loss production.

So I made a vision statement. “We enhance your vision, you embrace the reward”. My company makes a commitment to each author that we will stand by their work and work with them individually. Each author has a personal author advisor to allow for a personal publishing experience. And we also offer free workshops to teach each author how to write and not just put a book together.

Janice Johnson and Alva Hooey are to be highlighted. These women are the example of the women today who failed to allow their circumstances to make them a victim rather than a victor. They both came with different visions, but left with the same dream. A published book!

Janice Johnson, now a published author through Heavenly Realm Publishing, has had many ups and downs as a teenager. Janice was a high school senior that had a dream of one day getting her poetry published. Janice had given up her dream of becoming a published author and dropping out of school was her first option, but one day little did she know that while preparing for a school function, she would sit next to a Publisher! Janice was elated to know that the person she just sat next to was actually a divine meeting. To make a long story short, Heavenly Realm Publishing, through the faithfulness of Ms. Stephanie Franklin, encouraged Janice to believe in herself as a person, author, and speaker. Stephanie believes once you are a writer, you are always a writer and speaker. From there she encouraged Janice to compile her poems, submit her manuscript to the company and finally publish her work. Janice blossomed from a leaf to a flower in just a few short months. Janice’s book and her accomplishment have been recognized by the Aldine ISD School District and Janice has had several book signings with the school, school board, and local libraries. The thought of Janice wanting to drop out of school, never crossed her mind again. She not only graduated from high school, but she has gone on to enroll in college, encouraged to make

something out of herself. She will be graduating from college in the spring of 2011. She has been able to share her story and encourage many young girls to stay in school and has also encouraged them to never give up on their dream as a writer or whatever they want to be. Ask Janice what Heavenly Realm has been to her, in her words, “Thank you for supporting me and changing my life. I will always keep you in my prayers”.

Alva Hooey, now a published author through Heavenly Realm Publishing, thought that since she has lived a long seasoned life and also through some difficult times with her finances, that it was too late for her dream of getting her theatrical plays published into a printed book. She has always had a gift to write plays. Her gift came from her mother who was a connoisseur of the Arts.

Ms. Hooey is a playwright and author who have been writing plays for over thirty years for the church and for the community. Ms. Hooey had many request for her plays but did not know how to get all of her plays published into a book. It has always been her dream to publish her book not only as a mother, a grandmother, but also as a woman. She wanted a company that will not just take her money and she not know anything about publishing, she wanted a company that cares and that will work close with the author and the author’s book. When she called Heavenly Realm Publishing for advice about publishing, she was encouraged to know that she had found the company that she had been praying about. With Heavenly Realm’s tools and resources and her vision, Ms. Hooey was able to produce her best seller. Ms. Hooey had her book in her hand for her first book signing and was able to reap the joy of her first published book that she thought would never come. The Title, “Appetizer’s for the Soul” is a metaphor that can be well described. It represents a pre-requisite to something that is exciting is about to happen. It was a partnership played out on the stage of life and Ms. Hooey, Heavenly Realm, and the world are sitting center stage. In Ms. Hooey’s words, “Heavenly Realm is an awesome company!”

10 Tips for the “Best Man”

By Sam Graham Fashion & LifeStyle Designer

1. ALWAYS keep your fingernails clean, short and trimmed to a close fit. Long and dirty fingernails on a man says a lot and most of the time it is not positive.

2. Wearing your pants with a sag is not attractive in public on ANY boy, young man, or man. Pull them up to your waist or wear your waist is supposed to be. That’s why pants are constructed with a “waist band” not a thigh and booty band.

3. When addressing a girl, young lady, or woman, don’t address her as “shawty” or “shorty.” Giver her the respect you are expecting from her response. Respect begets Respect.

4. While in conversation (personal, business, negotiation, etc.) always afford the other person engaging and non-intimidating eye contact. No one trusts a person who is talking to them without eye contact. It looks shifty.

5. Respect YOURSELF when you’re by yourself. It makes for an easy transition for you to respect others. If you don’t know how to respect yourself contact your nearest LifeStyle Consultant by logging onto www.easytolive.com or by calling 1.800.363.1489 6. When styling your favorite, fedora, brim, hat or cap, remember to remove your hat when entering certain places such as religious buildings, during prayers in public places, homes (if it is not a house party), and when arriving for a job interview. Tipping your hat when addressing others gives you a lot more flair, attention, respect, and a lasting impression on your acquaintance. You won’t be forgotten, that’s for sure.

7. When entertaining a new acquaintance for the first time at your home, ensure that the ambiance is inviting and non-intimidating. For example, lights low enough to add allure, but still bright enough so that you BOTH can see each other clearly from a distance. Add candles, to enhance the lighting situation.

8. When entertaining (formal or casual), always have a choice of nonalcoholic beverages (water, juice, nonalcoholic beer, etc) for those who do not choose to partake in alcohol along with a light tray of hors d'oeuvres (appetizers) as simple as cracked pepper crackers, cut apples, grapes, chocolate slices, gourmet cheese, etc.

9. When you are engaged in conversation with a new interest and you notice that person’s drink is empty and you were the one who initiated this new encounter (conversation), do at least one of two things (or both): offer to buy that person a drink for taking up their time (and interrupting their “me” time) or get right to the point, exchange information for later contact, and them make your exit from their space. Be careful, the latter takes skill and charisma to successfully maneuver, so remember, practice makes perfect.

10.

ALWAYS be courteous and appreciative to people when they extend kind gestures, words, or a helping hand to you. A simple “Thank You”, “I apologize”, or “pardon me” goes a long way; especially if it is sincere.

First Bite of the Season By: Barbie Flores

Imagine a kaleidoscope sea, laden with the color of the deepest magenta, purples the color of royal garments and the richest reds screaming for attention? Imagine the colors of velvety forest green, eye-popping yellow, toasty, cognac, and pumpkin-orange hues beaming right at you? Now, layer these colors with textures, shiny, smooth, rugged, coarse, velvety and even frilly? This is the way I see food when I go to a Farmer’s Market this time of year.

I see apples, zucchini, pumpkins, eggplant, beets, chocolate peppers and butternut squash and my mind immediately conjures up the aromas that accompany these foods when cooked. The memory of layers oozing with fragrant shallots, sweating in olive oil, carrots, onions and celery simmering in broth, butternut squash roasting in the oven, cinnamon and apples caramelizing or brown sugar and sweet potatoes baking in those pies we love, comes flooding back to me! Not tough to get your brain and your appetite wrapped around this, right?

These are the aromas of Sweet and Savory who come to visit me to visit me in my kitchen during this time of year. They often bring Comforting, Nutty, Creamy, Chunky and Tangy and others with them! When I see the foods at market I also think of quality and freshness.

I have this passion for shopping. It has nothing to do with clothes, shoes, or make-up. I could feel “falling down” tired and if someone says, “Hey Barbie, want to head down to the Farmers’ Market?” I’m signed up for it immediately! There is something quite fascinating to me about the smells, the colors and the textures I see in the food at market but the idea that the product came from the local tierra (earth), the enthusiasm of the growers and of course, the thoughts about the finished meal are also very important. I want to emphasize of course, that no matter what we cook, it’s always economical to use what is in season. Soon I’ll be eating what I’m buying…the freshest foods possible. Inasmuch as the local foods of the season amaze me, they are also comforting but not as the proverbial phrase “comfort food” goes. I like that I know exactly where my food is coming from and that fewer hands have touched it because it is produced locally. With foods at Farmers’ Markets there is no process of packaging or shipping. So we’re not using up a bunch of resources. Believe it or not, buying food sensibly gives us an opportunity to do our part to lessen our Carbon Footprint, on the environment and give back to mother earth.

The opportunity to talk with the growers and vendors is invaluable to me. This is a great time to ask, how best to store or to prepare the food being purchased. We encourage them when we ask questions! With the holidays around the corner, I found it important to get you to the market with me, so that we could explore what good and perfect things are growing in season for our parties and dinners.

Before we do our first tour, allow me to give you a few tips for shopping at Farmer’s Markets. It’s good to start early in the morning. If you wait until later in the day, some of the choicest items may be sold out. There is a theory however, that if you go late in day, you may get the best deals from growers who are packing it up for the day. Bring good walking shoes, a hat for the sun, a nice canvas bag or tote to carry your purchases and plenty of singles (one dollar bills). Being prepared makes it so much easier. The other key thing is to have a plan.

I am the girl whose eyes can be too big for her stomach. My advice is to be sure to get something to eat before you get there, or to make a stop at one of the vendors, for a bite to eat. Your budget will thank you later! Without a plan you could go crazy in the market, buying a hundred things and finding out later, you don’t have the time to cook off everything you just had to have at the market. Be thinking about what is in season and what you like to eat. I always try to have at least two menus in mind and not much more. This is the key to food being used and not thrown out. And it today’s economy it’s also the key to saving money.

Upon arrival, you will begin to smell the sweet roasted fragrance of “tamales”! The tamale vendor (Corn Maiden) is just around the corner and I stop to try one of the spiciest tamales she has. It is filled with chicken and Gruyere cheese, and then spiced up with a wonderful smokey chipotle sauce. I want one now! Ah man, what a combination of sweet and spicy and I never saw the cheese comin’! Wonderful! As we move along the rows and rows of growers, I see gorgeous heirloom tomatoes, in many colors. I am thinking Caprese salad. I pick up a couple of the pineapple heirlooms. At first glance, one might think that their yellow color indicates under ripe or even spoiled. I can tell you, when I cut into these, they were juicy and screamed flavor. I pass by “George”, who is selling Greek olives and cheese. He gives me a sample of handmade Feta. Whoa, never had it like that! Yummy!

Full-bodied, great creamy texture! Moving on, I see more cheeses…my Achilles! I sample a chunk of homemade Buffalo Mozzarella. Hmmm, Barbie is still thinking Caprese salad… So, I buy the cheese. It comes packaged in a bag with water inside. Next, I move on to the fresh wild greens gurl. She is friendly and fun, with a head full of bright cranberry colored hair! I have recently fallen in love with Arugula greens. I seem to be topping my pizzas, making lots of salads and filling tacos with them. Arugula greens have this perfect balance of nutty and crispness.

Suddenly a lady motions me to come over and try a sliver of freshly cut Gala apple she is offering. I buy one of these, just to keep up my strength! As I walk through the rows and rows, I am amazed at how many varieties of squash there are and how many colors I have never seen in my life. Where has all this stuff been hiding? The best-stocked grocery store in the world has nothing on the Farmers’ Market. Walking over to the stand with all the bell peppers, I notice some really brown looking peppers. The grower tells me they are “chocolate” peppers.

Their flavor profile is much more subtle than those of the green variety but just the same, I want to find out for myself. I have to say, these lovely chocolate peppers were filled, steamed and devoured that very night! Delicious!

Along the way, I see gigantic pumpkins (you know the ones that win prizes at county fairs?), beets, and butternut squash in crates, beans, organic fruit, juices, corn, apples, growers, and vendors offering samples. There is Daikon radish the size of a baseball bat. Daikon is an awesome garnishing friend of Sushi and Asian cuisine. There are beautiful shiny eggplants the size of a one-month old baby! There are flowers everywhere…oh my goodness… orchids and wild lavender I want to inhale. Here comes the best part of this adventure, I carried a huge empty canvas bag with me, a twenty dollar bill, left with a full bag of produce and change from my twenty!

I encourage you to get out to the market and enjoy the first bite of the season! Don’t forget to take a look at the recipes I’ve included. I’ll see you next month. Until then, make sure nobody goes hungry.

Want another serving? I thought so… Here are some more interesting facts about California Agriculture and our Farmers’ Markets.

Did you know that California grows about eighty percent of all fruits and vegetables in the United States? We have the best access to the best! For California residents, we have what experts call a National season. Our access to foods is wider and more abundant because we grow so much and in many cases, it’s cultivated all year round.

So we are able to provide lots and lots of variety. Los Angeles boasts some ninety-eight or more of the most abundant Certified Farmers Markets (CFM), not including gazillions of others, which are not certified? Certified simply means that they are approved by the government, are regulated and they carry the “guarantee” to sell quality products, right from the farm to your table. Wow, imagine the first bite of the season lasting all year round! For example, if I wanted to make Thanksgiving dinner with the freshest products in April, I could! No matter where you live, being aware of what’s in season all of the time, can help you enjoy the benefits of food coming from the farm directly to your table!

Here’s some funky news. If you are an “Angelino”, I can’t talk about how fabulous the Farmers’ Markets are without mentioning they need our help. I recently read in the Los Angeles Times, that the city of Los Angeles has proposed an ordinance that would have growers paying enormous annual fees to sell their products at the Farmer’s Markets. The costs for blocking off streets, security, traffic; law enforcement personnel and other fees are in weighing in on the budget. Los Angeles City councilman Jose Huizar is trying to help with this. There are helpful measures awaiting a vote, so stay tuned. There’s a lot more happening in the Farmers’ Market than just produce.

We want these markets to be around for a very long time. Our families and community needs them.

Another cool thing about shopping farmer’s markets is that we are supporting our community, when we buy from local growers. We boost our own local economy by keeping the money within it and we employ our community! Gotta love that! The idea that local agriculture keeps the concrete out and preserves more green spaces for us to share means more trees for our children! It may sound simple but that little butternut squash I just purchased today made a difference somewhere.

What if everyone shopped locally? Then we would be a people fondly called, “Locavores”. Wishing I had coined it first, I can’t help but love the first part of this whimsical word, “loca”, which as you may know, describes “crazy” in Spanish! I like to think I am loca about food! The first part of the word “locavore” however, comes from the word; “local” and the latter part of the word “vore” actually came from the Latin word, “Vorare”, which means to eat or devour. The vibe behind this word just means sold out on buying what is locally produced. Are you a “locavore”? Let’s go hit the Hollywood Farmers’ Market today, doing it like the “Locavores” do! If you are “loca” for quality fresh food, less carbon footprints on our earth and supporting our community, raise your hands Locavore!

Go to the local Farmers’ Market website for your area. There you will find information on locations, products, vendors, as well as events. For Los Angeles residents, a great source is: www.farmernet.com

Breast Cancer: Awareness, Advances and Challenges.

Making an impact in our community Awareness Cancer accounts for nearly one-quarter of deaths in the United States, exceeded only by heart disease. Breast cancer is the most common type of cancer diagnosed in women, and the leading cause of cancer deaths in young African American Women. In 2009, an estimated 194,000 new cases of breast cancer was diagnosed in women in the U.S., of those cases 19,540 were African American women. In general the number of new cases is about 10 percent lower in the African Americans than in Whites. However, the incidence of breast cancer is higher in White women over the age of 45, whereas in African American women the incidence is much higher under the age of 45 and the mortality is worse. For many types of cancer including breast cancer, survival rates in African Americans are 10% to more than 20% lower than in whites. This is due, in part, to African Americans being less likely to receive a cancer diagnosis at an early localized stage, when treatment can improve chances of survival, lack of access to medical treatment, under-representation in clinical trials, serious socioeconomic barriers that prevent receiving the latest, most specific treatment, variations in cancer types and lack of awareness.

Why is this you ask?

Dramatic disparities in the outcome of African American women and breast cancer is multifactorial. Young age (under 45) is the largest factor because the current screening guidelines are not sufficient in detecting breast cancer in the women between 33 and 40. By the time African American women turn 40, 10 percent of them will have already developed breast cancer. This leads into the second largest factor leading to worse outcomes, which is advanced stage at the time of diagnosis.

Timing is everything!

There is no question that early detection saves lives. A cure for breast cancer has not been found to date. Therefore, the difference between life and death is early detection. We can achieve cure in most breast cancers when identified in the earliest stages. There are five stages of breast cancer. Stage 0 is a special type, non-invasive, breast cancer called Ductal Carcinoma in SITU (DCIS). Stage 1-4 belongs to invasive or infiltrative breast cancer. Stage 1 & 2 are considered early potentially curable breast cancers. Stage 3 is locally advanced and Stage 4 is metastatic or cancer that has spread to other parts of the body with only 20% of these women alive in 5 years.

Advances and Challenges Ask about Clinical Trials!

African American women are more likely to present with more aggressive forms of breast cancer, characterized by high tumor grade, hormone receptor -Estrogen/Progesterone negative, or Triple negative. There are striking similarities in the cancer types seen in African American women and sub-Saharan African women. Currently, efforts are underway to identify risk factors for breast cancer in African American women that could potentially lead to targeted screening and prevention practices that will change our statistics, prognosis and outcomes. This involves participation in clinical trials.

Clinical trials are research studies in which people help doctors find ways to improve health and cancer care. They find better ways to prevent, diagnose, or treat cancer. Patients are reluctant to participate in clinical trials for fear of being a guinea pig. The truth is that during clinical trials patients often receive more comprehensive evaluation, better and longer follow up, reduced chance of cancer coming back, and improved cancer survival.

Education and Awareness is Crucial.

To make a difference and not let statistics tell our story, you need to be aware of the true risk of breast cancer, become active participate in your health care and help spread the word to educate others. There is a cultural misconception that breast cancer runs in the family. In fact, 90 percent of woman who are diagnosed with breast cancer are the only ones in their family to have it. The two biggest risk factors for breast cancer are 1) being a woman and having breasts, 2) getting older. African American women have a limited understanding of mammograms and their usefulness. Mammograms saves lives. You must be proactive. Monthly self breast exams, yearly breast exams by a clinician and screening mammograms EVERY year starting at age 40, or earlier if there is a strong family history. Take head and spread the word.

Robina Smith, M.D. a highly trained breast surgeon who offers the latest techniques in Oncoplastic breast cancer surgery to help patients successfully fight breast cancer while improving and maintaining a normal breast shape and appearance. She completed a prestigious fellowship in breast surgery at the USC/Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center, one of the nation’s leading Oncoplastic breast surgery programs. She is also Founder of Treasure-Your-Chest Inc (www.treasure-your-chest.com) Email: rsmithmd@treasure-your-chest.com . Phone: 1-888-492-4088.

Become Fearless

By Jean-Luc Tahou, MBA, CFP Business & Finance Editor

Over the years, I have realized that most people know that they need to get a better handle on their finances but most don’t make the necessary changes. Why is that, you ask? Mainly because of fear: fear of the unknown, of the unfamiliar, and fear of making mistakes. In some cases these fears are justified but the reality is that they usually aren’t. The truth is that we are creatures of habit and we eschew getting outside our comfort zone at all cost, but it is when we force ourselves to challenge our boundaries that we make significant progress.

A lot of the financial products we need and should have in place intimidate people. What is an IRA again? What do you mean by 401k pre-tax contribution? Margin calls, what is that? Instead of appearing financially illiterate, we err on the side of caution and stick to what we know. It does not help that the news keeps covering stories about misconducts at financial institutions nationwide. It all seems so foreign and uncertain which in returns leaves us fraught with mistrust for Wall Street related products. We are basically afraid to make costly mistakes in such a troubled market. Other products are simply too uncomfortable to discuss because they force us to face our own mortality or the frailty of life. Drafting a will, evaluating a life-insurance policy, or choosing a retirement plan beneficiary all bring to the table conversations that we’d rather skip. However, those hard conversations have beneficial effects that should not be ignored. As the saying goes, better be safe than sorry.

In general, we should all aspire to become more educated when it comes to solidifying our financial future. The effort that is required to master the basic concepts seems insurmountable. We give up before even starting the race. It is a daunting task to cover all the basis between saving adequately for retirement, worrying about sending kids to college, reducing debt, and investing properly. Unfortunately, throwing in the towel is not an option as no action is worse than taking an initially misguided one. We use the guise of ignorance as an excuse not to take the plunge, but what we fail to realize is that we are in essence leaving money on the table by not participating. When we switch our mindset and consider that temporary discomfort potentially leads to long-term peace of mind, we are able to get over our fears and do the right thing. For example, even with its ups and down, the stock market is the surest bet for wealth accumulation over a long period of time. Our apprehensions often result in later starts and precious time of compounded growth is wasted.

With this realization in mind, we should free ourselves from our fear of the unknown. I am not suggesting that one should go in blind in setting up a financial plan but wasting time is a worse alternative. As with everything, it is possible to learn as we go and become more confident in our transactions over time. We should let go of antiquated ideas about what our parents and grandparents did in their days as times are different. We no longer have the cushion of union jobs, pension plans, or even social security. It starts with watching more financial news programs, reading financial publications occasionally, and asking questions to our bankers or our HR department.

Actions such as these will solidify the foundations we need to surpass ourselves and do better. At the risk of sounding cliché, this brings to mind a quote by Marianne Williamson: “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate but that we are powerful beyond measure”. Wouldn’t it be fun to discover how empowered you can become once you know the basic rules of the game? So go ahead and take a leap.

At the onset of this New Year, I would like to exhort each of you to let go of your apprehensions and challenge yourself to know and do more about your finances. Have those much-needed conversations. Put in places those necessary documents and learn about what works for you and your family. Taking the reins of your financial plan means that you are not leaving anything to chance, therefore you are in control.

The Low-Down on High Expectations

By Dr. Ronn Elmore http://www.FindingSoulmateSuccess.com

Everyone who has ever pursued a truly satisfying love relationship has taken a punch or two along the way. Rejection, one-way attraction, and bitter disappointments can make the road to a flourishing relationship a rocky one.

We all hate rejection—even the subtle forms of it that can crop up every day--a broken promise, punishing silence, a sarcastic remark, or a halfhearted peck on the cheek when you were dying for a passionate embrace. All these can feel like a slap in the face and a brutal assault on your self-esteem. And, of course, when that happens we vow to put our guard up next time. But sadly, since we don’t know when the next time might be, some of us keep our guard up all the time. Sad because, if you’re always expecting rotten treatment in relationships; you’re pretty likely to end up getting it!

EXPECT RESPECT Your expectations can have a powerful effect on the kind of treatment you get from others. The more positive (and realistic) your expectations of another person, the more likely they are to meet them. Conversely, the more negative your expectations, the more “prophetic” they’ll prove to be. Conducting yourself as if you sincerely expect high quality treatment from another person gives them a powerful incentive to deliver it.

Most people are pretty much like you, capable of treating others with well-mannered sensitivity and dignity they desire and deserve. You create a fertile climate for sensitive, respect-filled treatment when you go in expecting it. It’s best when you express appreciation for their exemplary behavior, (as if you just knew they had it in them all along) rather than surprise (as if you never expected them to be worth a dime in the first place).

YOU GO FIRST. When you act as if you expect respect you persuasively express confidence in their good intentions and your expectations becomes attractive invitation for them to demonstrate that they possess even more character and commitment than you imagined.

Never start out with the blind assumption that a potential mate cannot be trusted, then treating them as if it’s a fact. That’s finding them guilty until proven innocent. Unfair!

Instead, start out with a clean slate and give them every opportunity to earn your trust by demonstrating their trustworthiness through consistently honorable, respectful behavior toward you. That’s finding them innocent until proven guilty.

THE BOTTOM LINE You’ll find you get the most respect from others in direct proportion to the amount of respect you have for yourself. Demonstrate that you have a lot of self-respect and potential mates are more likely to rise to the standard you’ve set. If you have only a little, they’ll easily discern that it only takes a little to satisfy you.

Show no respect for yourself--or for others--and you can count on them to match you. Self-respect calls uponyou to conduct yourself like you’re God’s treasure—and that others are as well. And, no less important, making it clear that you expect any potential mate can, should, and will do the same.

Bio: Ronn Elmore, Psy.d is a relationship therapist, ordained minister, and bestselling author of How to Love a Black Man, How to Love a Black Woman, No-Nonsense Dating, and other books. Know as the “How-to” Coach for smart single women, his popular blog about dating, relationships, and motivation can be found at http://www.FindingSoulmateSuccess.com

Rise Up Young People!

By Wendy M. Reynolds, MS/P http://wendym.wordpress.com http://twitter.com/wendymreynolds Meet Marcos Travis Gooden, a young man graduating from Lane College in Tennessee (Class of 2012). Not only is He on the Dean's list, but he is also the highest ranking senior in his class! He has already been accepted into law school. What an amazing young man! What an awesome accomplishment.

We celebrate him not just because of what he has done but because of who he is! Incredible. Talented. Courageous. He is a young man making good choices- making his mark on the world. He is front page news. However, every day we turn on the TV or pick up the newspaper and learn of another negative story surrounding our young people. We as a society have become desensitized. No longer is it shocking when a youth robs or shoots someone.

We’ve come to expect it. It doesn’t bother us as much when the media or music videos depict our youth as violent gangsters or as degraded young men and women so quick to give themselves away for money, fame, or tainted love. These are the images that we see every day. These are the images of young people presented to our young people usually by people, companies, and organizations seeking to profit or further a hidden agenda.

But I want it to be known that there are youth doing good things every day. Rarely do you hear their stories on the evening news. They don’t make the front page.

They are usually not the topic of TV shows, movies, or videos. Why not? Maybe if we start highlighting them, other youth will come to raise their standards, value education, and understand that they have options and choices. Revealing more stories like Marcos will give another image, as well as challenge the perceptions and low expectations that we often have. Where is his news coverage?

Mr. Marcos Gooden

If we start highlighting positive stories involving young people, maybe we as adults will begin to regain an understanding of how powerful a message we send when we invest our time, our finances, our prayers, and our beliefs in a young person. Maybe our government and our educational systems will regain vision and see the value in providing all youth with the best education, a positive environment in which to learn in, and programs designed to propel them as opposed to imprisoning them. Maybe we will become outraged that the national high school graduation rate is at an all-time low while high school drop-out rates are soaring. Maybe we as parents, caregivers, teachers … will begin to value our kids again and increase our expectations of them. It’s so hard for a child to rise to low expectations Let’s highlight the Latrese W’s (last name not published by her request) who grew up in a home where both parents struggled with addictions and crime. At the age of 10 she was placed in a foster homes and after that three more. An 8th grade teacher believed in her and challenged her to believe in herself in spite of her obstacles. For the first time she felt separated from her outward conditions. She just finished her 2nd year of college with a 3.2 GPA. Although the opportunity presented itself, she has never been in trouble. She volunteers with a youth mentor program teaching other young women how to define and value themselves. Give her some news coverage.

Let’s highlight youth like 14 year old Melvin Byrd, III, who won 1st place at his Georgia high school AND in the county for his original piano composition, Iridescent Jazz!! His next National competition will be in July.

News like this will encourage other youth to value and stir up their God given gifts. In addition, it will inspire parents to take an active role in their children’s lives. It will encourage them to show up for their children’s concerts, games, and parent teacher conferences. Give him some news coverage. There are children out there every day (many facing insurmountable challenges) choosing to do good things. Give them some news coverage!

Our youth were not born to be statistics. They are amazing young people who are trying to find their way in the world. However, their identity and their destiny are under attack. We must take it upon ourselves to remind them every day who they are. We must encourage them, challenge them, celebrate them, inspire them, empower them, and believe in them. Talk to them about their dreams. All of our children are destined to do great things! We have find ways to reveal the greatness within them to them so they can in return see it in them and reflect it outward!

The enemy is working hard to rob our children of their dreams. I spoke with a young mother who said she is afraid to tell her kids to have a dream. “It’ll just give them heartbreak. Don’t you see what this world is like? It’ll crush them. Better to not have a dream, then to have one and get it crushed.

There’s no hope out there. They’ll be good to get a job.” Uugh! What a sad attitude. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why she has it but listen, it is our God inspired dreams that God will use to help change things and create opportunities that don’t exist yet. What will happen if we don’t encourage our children to dream and do well? It is those God inspired dreams that will inspire hope and change in the world!

I challenge our young people to rise up and be the great young men and women they were meant to be. Don’t be afraid to be good and do well. Don’t be afraid to refuse another negative statistic. Don’t be afraid to refuse to be defined by the negative images that media portrays as today’s youth. You are no negative statistic. We see you.

You are not invisible. Your gifts and talents do not go unnoticed. You are valuable. You are incredible. You are fabulous. You are brilliant. Be you and be amazing!

Lastly I challenge people to start flooding your local and national news (both TV and Radio), as well as your local government with news about the children in your life who are excelling. How will they know if you don’t tell them? Take pictures and video. Send in clippings, copies of certificates. Let’s make an effort to challenge the media to pick up the positive news and images of our children- children who are destined to do great things and destined to inspire others while leaving their mark on the world!

Let Love In! By: Margo Hudson http://latalklive.com/new/destination-love-life-with-margo “Open your Hearts and Minds, Free yourselves… Create space that Allows Love to Flow!” -Margo Hudson

We’ve all been there at some time or another. We crave love! After all, we are beautifully human and are all made better, in the magnificent presence of love. Whether you crave the love of the one you’ve yet to meet or maybe even with the one you’re with right now, or possibly even through your work. I have a few questions to get you started on this fruitful journey to “Let Love In” to your life! Do you feel worthy of being loved? Do you believe you can experience love with someone after all of the horrible things you‘ve experienced? Have you given up on love? Perhaps there are things in your environment, both internally and externally, that are creating blocks that hold you back from experiencing the love you desire. You could be blocking love from your life without even knowing it!

Internal Love Blockers Your internal environment comes first and often requires the most work. Internal love blockers are very tricky, because it’s easy to make excuses for your own self sabotaging behaviors, or even conveniently justify your actions so that you never have to actually be responsible in working through your real issues. For many, experiencing profoundly negative experiences in the love department has had traumatizing effects on their psychological well-being. You might even call it a form of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s easy to become defensive after such experiences, even to the point of convincing yourself that love doesn’t exist, or that it’s unobtainable, or it always comes with pain… These familiar mantras often become self-fulfilling prophecies, especially for those faithful subscribers to the belief that “There aren’t any good ones left”, “They all cheat.” You end up running from love before it ever gets the chance to greet you!

For example, a negative disposition, picking fights with your mate, humiliating or rudely rejecting people interested in you, or the inability to open up and share yourself or communicate, are all cheap protection tactics motivated by fear and used in an attempt to protect yourself from further harm. This may work for a while, and in some cases it may even serve you well… but ultimately this reactive behavior will push love away from you.

So this cycle must be broken and eliminated, if true love is ever to be realized. Learning to love and accept yourself is part of the process, along with taking better care of your body with the things you feed it and rejuvenate it.~ The Love Cannot Be Let In until you clear a path! A path free of garbage. Healing yourself starts with awareness of your problem, then doing something about what you face and uncover. Get help if you need to. In time you‘ll discover that love is not attracted to the negative protective shell you wear, nor can love grow from this dark place. Love is a human need, and we weren’t created to be alone. I have news for you… you are directly

contributing to your outcomes in love far more than you know, and it’s time to clean it up so that the right kinds of love can come into your life and have a more inviting environment in which to grow.~

External Love Blockers Your external environment is an outgrowth of whatever’s going on inside you. This will work against you over time. Take time and observe your environment. Are the things or people around you helping you move forward, or are they holding you back? Do you hold on to pictures of an old boyfriend, or old clothes? Lots of people complain about love, blaming love, other people or situations for any negative outcomes. Instead, take a close look at what you are thinking, doing or not doing that may be blocking you from receiving love. It seems that people forget or simply do not know that in order for a good mate for you to come in, you must create the loving space.

Open your hearts and minds, Free yourselves… Create space that allows Love to Flow!

Below are a few important things to consider when cleansing yourself and your life of cluttered or stagnant energy.

Clear the pathway for LOVE!~

Take A Look Inside Identify the source of your pain and come to terms with it. Get professional help if needed. Journaling your thoughts into a private book can also be very freeing and can provide you an avenue of peace through acceptance.

Accepting things for what they are and not being afraid to face them because facing them and dealing with them lessens their power and control over you.

Trade In Your Old Beliefs Your beliefs about love create your experiences of love. So get rid of those old negative mantras that only serve to keep you stuck in fear, alone, and unhappy. Stop associating love with pain, or you’ll keep attracting painful relationships.

Your Home Is Calling Things have energy, and when you clear the unnecessary things from your home, you can began to Let Love In, creating breathing space for a partner to actually join you. If you look around your home I’m sure you’ll find things you don’t use and should get rid of, especially those thing you’ll “Use one day”…No you won’t. Clear it out! Clearing the energy field of your resting place of rejuvenation, your home, helps you sleep better and think more clearly as well. The love and care you put into cleaning your space is rejuvenating to the spirit and attracts love.

Your Closet Is Talking Your clothing says something about you. If you are a woman and all of your clothing looks like you are going to the club or getting on a stripper pole, let’s be honest. Know that you’ll attract a certain kind of man- a man that doesn’t have love on his mind! The downside is you’ll continue attracting this kind of guy until you cover it up a

little bit and leave at least a little bit to the imagination. If you dress slouchy and aren‘t taking care of yourself lately, beware of the kind of man who‘s attracted to that nonsense. They may be looking for a woman with low self-esteem to manipulate or abuse in some way. If you’re a man wearing clothes that are too small or too big, or clothing that’s not a good complement to your natural frame or build, with dirty shoes, women may subconsciously read that your unclean, have low self-esteem, poor judgment or character, or that you wouldn’t make a good provider to settle down with. Biologically most women are wired to choose a man a strong and competent enough to support and provide for their family.

Overall Letting Love In requires your willingness to get out of your comfort zone and grow a little bit! There are great rewards to be reaped from clearing the cluttered energy from your mind and life, and one of them is simply feeling lighter and happier… organic peace of mind, which ultimately attracts love!

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this article! May every article bring more love and light into your lives and the people’s lives around you. Until next time, Blessings~ Tune-in to my new radio/TV show DESTINATION LOVE LIFE™ with Margo Hudson! Mondays 10am-12n PST @ LaTalkLive.com. See past shows!

The Fun Is Back In Food!

By Chef Barbie Flores http://twitter.com/ChefBFlores https://t.co/2V0PcE4c

Go ahead! Confess it with me! We love food journalism, especially food pics! Images of tantalizing, eye-popping, provocatively plated food make us feel happy! They inspire us to cook. They inform us about nutrition and cool restuarants, as well as satisfy us without all the decadent calories.

In 2012 consuming a slice of molten chocolate cake, dripping with ganache or a dreamy, tender Kobe beef filet with black truffle oil or peeling the sweetest mouthwatering passion fruit with our eyes and talking about it became THE THING to do!

We saw scores of the most amazing food photographs turning up in places like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and our favorite food sites like Gastrofotomania or Food Porn. And many of us were the photogs of 2012! Whether it was a pic from an I-phone or a Hassalblad camera, we were capturing it, drooling over it and yes, wanting to gobble our screens because if it.

The photographing of food and posting of the latest “Hot 10” dishes occupied a great deal of our online time. We just couldn’t get enough of those digitally immortalized food odysseys! Food photographs and blogging became a national pastime on our lunch hours and the activity that occupied us in restaurants.

Not only did we become food photogs and food voyeurs, we read and wrote about it! We were eager to see and share the latest from magazine publications like Food & Wine, Saveur, Bon Appetite and What Katie Ate. We read all about the restaurants and dishes that Bourdain, J Gold and our friends were talking about. We chronicled every cupcake we decorated, as well as every incredible “conquista” we cooked in our own kitchens. We recommended food restaurants, recipes and events to our friends, simply by pressing “post”. Like our well documented, “baby’s first haircut” or our best vacation sunsets, food journalism became the popular post. Yes, in 2012 we all became food journalists! So let’s confess and give credit where credit is due! Armed with our spatulas, cameras, the latest blogs and our cooking prowess we are the new food net workers and we are a force! Oh but as I write this, I’ve got a bit of discouraging news to report. According to a recent article in the New York Times, there is a rise in the number of restaurants frowning on picture taking of their dishes. Oh, I say, “Come on, we are your best campaigners!” Hopefully, this frowning will not become the norm. Food is just too wonderful and we are having too much fun with it!

In 2013, it is predicted that we will see the look of food and pairings change. Fun food like “spaghetti tacos” on a kid's menu or something salty paired with a sweet dessert will no longer seem wrong when combined. We’re going to see completely different flavor profiles mixed together for the fun of it. I like that! For example, chocolate cake with a hint of cayenne pepper. Who knew? From the traditional to the trendy, we will see dishes becoming more deconstructed, more relaxed and just more fun. We will see two different types of cuisine involved with each other as well. I love it! It will not be a surprise to find more ethnic influences on our traditional American menus. Variety is the spice of life!

So with 2013 predictions already showing a playful fusion of flavors and juxtapositions on a plate, get those cameras ready and get your blog on! The fun is back in food!

The Power of Possibility!

By Myla Denise http://www.try-umph.blogspot.com

I had the pleasure of spending a few days in the beautiful city of Santa Barbara, California. Riding up Gibraltar Rock I experienced magnificent views of the ocean on one side, and even more majestic mountains on the other. As I observed the incredible natural beauty, I was amazed by a simple realization; I witnessed such stunning sights because many years ago someone believed. I could feel such magnificence because a long time ago someone believed that building a road on a mountain was possible. Someone had the confidence and freedom to look at that massive stone and think, “A road needs to be up there and I know how to make that happen.”

All of us have the ability to stimulate change. Unfortunately, many of us doubt our level of impact before we even start. We convince ourselves not to try. We tell ourselves we’re not enough. Not smart enough, strong enough, talented enough, good enough, young enough, nor experienced enough. We essentially believe that we aren’t deserving enough to live in the realm of possibility. Fortunately, that isn’t the truth. Instead of doubting our abilities or comparing our life’s work to others, we should challenge ourselves to walk in the freedom of believing.

We should experience the power of possibility.

When you entertain possibility you possess power. Limitations are viewed as temporary. Fear of failure no longer holds your thoughts captive. Excuses loose their grip. Would you prefer limitations, fear, and excuses to have the greatest impact in your life? Or would you prefer your life to be a reflection of freedom, empowerment, and possibility? Someone looked at a mountain and saw possibility. What do you see when you gaze at the mountains in your life?

No matter what others have said, or who didn’t believe in your talents, or what you may have convinced yourself, you are enough to alter your world. You are simply enough. Change your mind, treat yourself to the benefit of believing, and give yourself permission to experience the power of possibility. ~~~~~~ BIO Myla Denise developed an early appreciation for poetry and writing as she began writing poems, plays, and short stories in junior high school. This Western Michigan University graduate combined her way with words and her formal business education in the legal, marketing, and higher education field. She currently writes marketing text and manages the website for the alumni relations department at the University of Indianapolis while pursuing a graduate degree in English. She published Dawn: Diary of a Poet (Cole Publishing, 2005), a memoir told using poetry and journal entries to help her reach her goal of using her personal story of overcoming to encourage and uplift others. In addition to writing, Myla also loves reading novels and traveling. She is an alumna of Semester At Sea and has served on the Alumni Association Board of Directors for the Institute of Shipboard Education. Myla resides in Michigan.

Sharon Lawrence Taylor

By Wendy M. Reynolds Higher Heights/Global ICE3 twitter.com/Wendymreynolds

Make no mistake, when Sharon Lawrence Taylor takes the microphone the atmosphere literally changes. Her powerful voice and amazing passion for God ushers you right into the presence of God where you can experience His love, His forgiveness, His healing, His freedom, and His joy. Yes, tears fall, hearts cry out, and you are forever changed.

For years, Sharon has poured out and shared her Godgiven gifts liberally. She has preached and sang across various pulpits and stages. She is highly sought out for recording projects, stage plays, conferences, major university commencements, and concerts. I recently heard a University Dean say that they want Sharon's amazing voice of hope to be the last voice students hear as they graduate and step out into a challenging field and a world in crisis. In the midst of all of this, Sharon knows that her gifts and calling are so much more than about her. It is about delivering God's message of hope to a people- to a world so thirsty and in need of it. She uses every opportunity and every platform she is given to do just that.

Sharon has helped so many people discover and sing their song. Now, she shares and sings her own. Her recently released "Triple Threat" CD project has left all those who hear it wanting more. The words are saturated in the power of God. Your heart can't help but be penetrated by them.

I had the awesome pleasure of sitting down and talking with Sharon. She's graceful, humble, transparent, humorous, and has a beautiful spirit. She knows who she is and to Whom she belongs and that enables her to walk in a noticeable freedom and authority.

Allow me to present the incomparable Sharon Lawrence Taylor!

Wendy M. Reynolds: Thank you so much Sharon for taking out the time to do this interview.

Sharon Lawrence Taylor: My pleasure Wendy. Thank you for having me Wendy: Tell us a little bit about you? Where are you from? What was the family makeup?

Sharon: I was born and raised in Lansing, Michigan. I've been in Lansing all my life. My Dad migrated from the South to come work for General Motors and well, we've been here every since. I was the fourth of five children. Two of my sisters have gone on to be with the Lord, so now it's me, my sister, and brother. Both my parents are deceased but were married for over 50 years. I myself am married with a son.

Wendy: What was home like? Was it musical?

Sharon: I came from a musical background. My father sang with a group. I never heard them. Actually I don't think I was born yet but I did come across some old pictures of the group and was amazed that he was in a group that travelled around. As far back as I can remember, he always sang around the house. He took us to church and he sang in the choir.

My mother wasn't a singer but she came from a singing background. All of my aunts and uncles are in the ministry, the Apostolic faith. You talk about singers. They are some singing folks. My Grandmother was a singer as well as her siblings.

It's truly generational.

Wendy: When did you discover you could sing?

Sharon: I believe I was born with an attraction to music. The first time I realized it was around the age of 4 or 5. I remember being in kindergarten- you know back in the day, schools had P.E. and music, in addition to English, math,...

They had everything. I remember we would have to roll out our mats and take a nap. After we awaken, I guess to get us motivated and get the sleep out of our eyes, they would have us sing. The first song I ever sang was Dumbo the Elephant. Every day I couldn't wait to go to sleep so I could wake up and sing Dumbo the Elephant. I go home thinking about that song. I still know all the words to this day (laughing).

Wendy: Who were your musical influences?

Sharon: Singers who had a heart to heart passion just hit me like a ton of brick. Most of my musical influences came from church- 'cause you KNOW we were always in church (laughing). So church and choirs were my foundations. But growing up, I used to love Gladys Knight. As I got older, it was Walter Hawkins and the Hawkins family. I love Walter. I can tell you every Walter Hawkins song. God rest his soul. I became a part of a singing group and you know you kind of emulate the singer and music you are drawn to. We were the Lansing area Hawkins singers. We basically sang all Hawkins music. Our group was called The Body of Christ. It was awesome.

Wendy: Your Triple Threat CD project- Where did it come from?

Sharon: It was just something that I felt I was supposed to do. It was encouraged by my late Mother Annie, who would always say, "Sharon, you have to make a record. You need to make a record." I've been blessed to sing with some of the best of the best. At this stage of my life, I wasn't really sure that this was something that could possibly happen. I'm married. I have a son. In addition, I worked a full time job, and took care of my Mother in her old age. There wasn't a lot of time to do other stuff other than sing- basically locally.

Wendy: What changed?

Sharon: My Mom died. When she passed away, I knew that a part of me was gone. I knew that this was something she desired of me. Unfortunately, she never got to see the completion of it to this level but she came to hear me sing many many times. She was my #1 fan and very supportive.

Wendy: This is a very special project.

Sharon: Yes. In addition, I wanted to leave something in the earth- something that people could put their hands on. More than a memory- something that could be beamed up (with today's technology) at any time. Something that when I am gone, I can still be found here. A memory is good, but putting your hands on something tangible that captures the passion and anointing that God has placed on my life... This allows me to leave something in the earth when I am gone.

Wendy: Rumor has it that when Ervin "Magic" and Cookie Johnson were married years ago, they didn't want anyone but you to sing at their wedding.

Sharon: I was blessed to sing at Mr. & Mrs. Johnson's wedding. They could have had anyone on the face of the planet and they asked me to come. I'll never forget that and I'll be grateful as it kind of increased awareness of what I could do based on the fact that they could have had anyone and they chose me.

Wendy: When you're on stage, you seem to give your all. What do you think about while you're up there?

Sharon: When I'm on stage, my focus is tuning into God in order to give the people what they need. I think people need to hear sincerity. I don't think people need to be entertained and I don't really enjoy entertaining. When I sing, I have to sing with purpose. I have to present something from the Father to the people. I feel like I'm standing in a capacity to be used by God to reach somebody, to give hope, to give peace- to give them something they can hold on to.

Music is a universal language. Everybody feels it and understands it. So when I sing, I want people to go beyond the melody and see their answer, and let it be delivered in a way that only comes from heaven.

Wendy: What's next?

Sharon: My goal is to finish up this project and produce a full jacket CD with 8-12 songs.

Wendy: What's the feel of the CD? Sharon: The feel of the CD is so unique that I can't stick it into any genre. My heart was to convey to the people how great and mighty God is- that He is the creator of all of us and everything in the earth. He's majestic. His love is better than any natural love and nothing can separate us from it- not an argument, betrayal.

People are hurting. We all have issues. We all go through stuff. Sometimes we are all alone and we don't know who to call on. I want people to know they can call on the name of Jesus. There is power in the name. If you call Him at that desperate place in your life, He hears you and will come see about you. He may not see about you the way you think He should, but trust me, He's on the job and He's coming to see about you in a way you don't understand.

Wendy: You live this. You don't just sing about it, huh?

Sharon: Andre Crouch says, "How do I know God can solve the problem if I never have one?" I'm nowhere near perfect. I make mistakes every single day. There have been times when my back was up against the wall. I found myself in places where I couldn't believe how I got there. I was standing at the sink thinking about how God rescued me out of certain situations. The tears began to roll. I thought about how my eyes were blinded. It was so dark and my flesh told me there's no way you're going to get out of this. But I called on the name of Jesus and He rescued me. He was there. He was more than enough. He came to take care of me... "Sho you right." Those words became my song "Call Him." Wendy: Awesome words. Have you always been an incredible writer?

Sharon: You know this journey has been a God thing. I searched all over for someone to help me with songs. I went to some of the best songwriters on the planet that I had relationships with- that I had worked with and helped when they recorded their projects. The timing was never right. I never could get anywhere with it. "Lord, I need some songs. I'm no writer." I used to journal a lot. I went back through some of my journals and God just knew what I needed. I woke up in the morning with "How great He is... the rivers do clap their hands... the earth twirls and dances to the majesty of God." The words just came out of me.

And the music... let me just say there is no one like Michael Daniels! I kid you not! Michael Daniels is a phenomenal Minstrel. He kind of came in and Got this whole thing started. He said God had assigned him to me. He wrote what I heard. I'd tell him what I heard and he would just play it. Phenomenal and anointed man of God. Wendy: I know you've been singing for years. This isn't new to you but how does it feel to hear other people singing your songs?

Sharon: Funny that you should ask that. I was over to my cousin's house. She's a believer but doesn't really go to church.

She said, "Cuz, I play that Mighty is our God song all day. Now, the rivers really clap their hands? The earth twirls and dances." I thought, "Wow, she really knows the words." That was phenomenal to me because I never heard anyone sing "my" song. It blessed me to know that it blessed her.

Wendy: I don't know much about the music industry but how do you feel about its direction? There seems to be a leaning to music with a positive message.

Sharon: I don't know much about the industry either Wendy. I do know that people don't just need a positive or motivational message. They need something that going to point them back to hope and Jesus- something that's going to change their lives- something lasting and sustaining. You might get your hopes in a $5 foot-long...that's on you. It might fill you for a day but you're going to be hungry again... Come on somebody. Ha! Jesus is the only one who can satisfy that longing- that spot in our souls and give what we need to stand through the storms.

Wendy: So how are you feeling about things? About life at this point in your life?

Sharon: Everyday there's something new. I'm appreciating my life more every day, every single minute and every single breath! I'm feeling like I'm here for a reason for the season. I'm here and it's exciting- the good, bad, the ups and down.

All things work together for good... I focus on the good- admit the other stuff, but focus on the good. Whenever I find myself slipping, God upholds me with His right hand (breaks into song: "Oh how I love Him!") I feel really good!

Wendy: Any words of encouragement to those struggling to hold on to their dream?

Sharon: Hold on. We all have times when we are like "Where am I? Nothing seems to be happening. I have nothing to look forward to. Where is God?" Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. When you hit a speed bump. Keep looking up. Keep getting up. Don't stop. I was tempted to stop mid-way through because the opposition was so great but now God has showed me that the opposition was so great because I had stepped out into purpose. I had stepped onto a road that would lead me farther than Lansing, farther than my front door- farther than my church- It would lead me farther than what my eyes could see. Faith had to kick in- in order to still me. While seeking God on whether to continue to pursue the project, I heard the word of the Lord, "Pursue and pursue with a vengeance!" So as Fred Hammond said, "I'll find a way to lift my hands." I heard from God. Do you know WHO that is? If you don't know, you better ask somebody. Ha Ha! Don't give up!

Wendy: Sharon, thank you. This has been amazing interview. Any final words?

Sharon: Thank you and Beauty Come Forth for including me. You all keep doing what you're doing. I love the magazine.

It's always so encouraging and full of relevant information and you always have a beautiful face on the cover! And I love reading your words Wendy. You're like the Susan Taylor or Beauty Come Forth. I love the message this magazine sends out to our young girls as well- helping them define real beauty before the world does. You all are great and I appreciate the opportunity!

Sharon's "Triple Play" CD can be purchased in Lansing Gift and Bibles stores, Cdbaby.com, and Amazon.com. You may also purchase it directly from Sharon's Ministry:

"Salt of the Earth Ministries" P.O. Box 15121, Lansing, MI 48901

Forgiveness…Forgiving Yourself, Forgiving Others, And Moving Forward

By Minister Joy Clark As I sit writing this, my eyes are filled with tears. Why tears, because of the forgiveness that I have received, the forgiveness of God, forgiveness of myself for bad decisions I made- things that I’ve done that I locked up on the inside of me, that kept me in bondage, but today, I forgave myself.

When we don’t forgive ourselves, it makes it difficult for us to love, to treat people right, to love ourselves. You cannot effectively love other people if you don’t love yourself. As children, most of us were taught to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Well, if you aren’t loving yourself, how then can you love another? In Leviticus 19:18, the Lord spoke to Moses and told him to speak to the children of Israel and tell them, “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself, and then in verse 19 He says, “I am the Lord, you shall keep My statues.”

I am determined to keep God’s statues, His commands. Often times people will ask me, how can you be cool with this person after they’ve done thus & so. My answer is love. Someone at some point forgave me. God forgave me, so who am I not to forgive? Romans 3:25 in the Amplified says, “Whom God put forward [before the eyes of all] as a mercy seat and propitiation by His blood, [the cleansing and life giving sacrifice of atonement and reconciliation, to be received] through faith. This was to show God’s righteousness because in His divine forbearance, He passed over and ignored former sins without punishment. Just think, God passed over and ignored former sins without punishment!” Whatever that person did, let it go! Pass over it and ignore it. Be like God. He forgives and forgets! Isaiah 43:25 says that “I even I am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sakes, and I will not remember your sins.” Furthermore, stop replaying the things you did in the past. If you had an abortion, God forgave you the moment you asked Him. Hurt someone? God forgave you the moment you opened your mouth and asked Him! God is not standing accusing you or anyone else. Scripture tells us that’s what satan does, (see Revelations 12:10). The enemy is the one who constantly has what you did on replay. He alone is the accuser of the brethren, while Christ, the anointed one is the propitiation, the mercy seat. Beloved, forgive yourself. There is nothing that you cannot forgive yourself for. If God can love you with a sincere love, love so sincere that He gave His Son Jesus as a ransom for sin, mistakes, etc., then it’s time for you to love yourself like God loves you.

Love from a pure place. Love without conditions or limitations! Love has no limits, so stop trying to rationalize how much you can love yourself, or that other person.

It’s time for you to move forward! Love yourself right where you’re at right now, knowing that if you take that first step of faith, your love is only going to increase and grow stronger. Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I love me!” When you begin to love yourself, you enable yourself to love other people!

Philippians 3:13-14 says this, “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended, but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” There is a reward in forgetting the things behind, the past and moving forward…freedom! You free yourself from the jail of unforgiveness. Make the choice to forgive and move forward! No more looking back, only forward, and only upward! I pray that you forgive, forgive yourself, forgive others, and move forward! Let your soul prosper! For this is God’s desire, III John 2. ~Bio~ Joy Clark is a wife, mother of three, and an ordained minister of the Gospel. She is a lover of God and His people. God has specifically given her a heart for women, knowing that if we give anointed revelation to the women of God, we would obtain synergistic solutions to world-impacting problems. She clearly walks in the Luke 4:18 anointing, to heal the broken hearted and to proclaim liberty to the captives. Joy is in tune to the Spirit of God and has a right now Word for a “now generation”.

Make Sure You Vote  Your Voice Counts

My Words to Your Heart By: Nailah Lee Like many did in the 1980’s, I loved watching The Cosby Show. I loved the characters, the storylines, and the humor. Recently I told a dear friend that the day we lose Bill Cosby will be a very difficult day for me. As a child I watched the show for reasons others may not have. You see I didn’t grow up with my father so every Thursday night I would have 30 minutes to imagine Bill Cosby as my dad. Not in replacement of the one I have, but encompassing the behaviors I craved and desired as a child. As young girls we desired consistency, love, humor, discipline, and a solid stable relationship from our fathers.

This week I picked up my favorite magazine and read an amazing letter of encouragement from the Editor In Chief to his adult daughters. Affirming them and giving them words of encouragement as they have now transitioned into women. As I read these beautiful words I began to think, “What about the young woman who never grew up with her father?” I grew up with a very strong mother and by no means is this indictment on her or any other single mother but as strong and hard as you are or were, there is nothing like the relationship between a girl and her daddy. But as life goes on, we women who were once those young girls hoping and wishing for their fathers must now pick up the pieces of life and move on. But as you move and continue to move each day, allow me to encourage you with my words. I hope they touch your heart.

You Are Beautiful and Made in Wonderment Each day my husband tells my daughter how beautiful she is. As the first man in her life, his words are crucial to her self-esteem as she blossoms into a young girl. I want you to take hold of the fact that you are beautifully and wonderfully made. Go out into this world strong knowing you can conquer whatever it is that God has for you to do. They say ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, so look in the mirror and celebrate the beautiful woman you are.

Never Compromise The lack of the father in the household has led many women settling for “less than” acceptable men. Many women have abandonment issues without realizing it which has and will lead to damaging relationships. You know what settles? Dirt in the ground! Not a woman set aside for greatness who can only accept a man as equally compatible.

So if you are hauling around “dead” weight, release it! Move on to someone who acknowledges and loves the woman you are.

Love Him and Trust Him Don’t allow the past to dictate your future. All men are not created equal so don’t judge each one by the mishaps of one bad apple. Without the father in the household it may be hard to trust a man due to inconsistencies you grew up with. But ladies trust me; it’s time to live free! The bondage of childhood will only hold you back if you let it.

I am thankful that as a woman and mother I have a relationship with my father. Even though it has been 16 years since our reconciliation, we work at it each day because it is still new, for me at least. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who also grew up without his father, but is diligent in giving our children everything he wished his father gave him. Now as I watch The Cosby Show, I do so with no expectations besides laughter; because as I have grown and matured I realize that the beautiful, powerful, trusting woman has always lived in me and guess what? She is also living in you!

7 Ways to Reduce Arthritis Pain To Reign in Health

By Shelita Williams, R.N. www.shelitawilliams.com Arthritis is inflammation of the joints. There are over 100 different types of arthritis but osteoarthritis is the most common. Over 21 million people are affected with this disease. Even though it’s most common in women over age 60, men and younger adults are no stranger to it.

What I find as an R.N. is that prevention is almost never talked about it.

Even in the medical profession, it seems they just expect as you age that you will get this painful disease and off you go with anti-inflammatory medications and surgery as your only viable options.

Osteoarthritis, also known as degenerative joint disease, is associated with a breakdown of cartilage in joints and can occur in almost any joint in the body. It most commonly occurs in the weight bearing joints of the hips, knees and spine. So who is most susceptible to developing Osteoarthritis or OA? 1. People who are overweight.

2. People who perform high intensity workouts or activities putting continued stress on the joints such as athletes.

3. People who have some type of genetic defect.

4. People who have poor diets and nutritional habits.

When you go to the doctor most times they prescribe you anti-inflammatory medications along with physical therapy. While physical therapy is good, understand that there is no cure for OA, and that the very best treatment is to get healthier!

7 Things you can do to promote better health and reduce or eliminate Arthritic pain!

1. Exercise. Your joints maybe very stiff and it may seem counterintuitive to exercise but that’s exactly what you need to do to loosen up your joints and stretch your muscles. In the long run this will reduce your pain.

(Always consult your physician.)

3. Hydrate your body. Water, yes I said water, not pop, tea, or coffee. Water hydrates, protects, and moisturizes your joints.Detox your body. If you body is toxic, those toxins are in your joints and toxins cause inflammation.

4. Walk in forgiveness. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Unforgiveness poisons the heart, the mind, and the body. It’s not worth your health. Let it go!

5. Eat more raw fruits and vegetables. Putting more live foods into your body reduces the acidity of your body. Our bodies are naturally alkaline and when we eat dead foods because the enzymes that been cooked out of them, they actually become acidic. Disease thrives in an acidic environment.

6. Reduce the amount of saturated fats. Foods high in saturated fats produce plaque in the body which gets trapped in the blood vessels and joints. This causes heart disease and joint pain.

7. Take natural supplements. Let prescription medications be a last resort as they cause more toxins and don’t treat the problem only the symptoms. There are many natural supplements that you can take including Glucosamine and Chondroitin.

No matter what the ailment, disease, or health condition is, we can’t get away from the fact that eating a healthy well balanced diet is the main ingredient in promoting better health. Take some time out to read food labels, plan your meals, and get a good workout in! My goal for you is to Reign in Health and Fitness, so please feel free to ask me any questions in the comment sections below.

Shelita Williams, R.N. helps aspiring and established women entrepreneurs who struggle with achieving their health and fitness goals, to lose weight, increase energy, boost confidence, and establish brand integrity so that they are poised, fit, and motivated to start, manage, and grow their business!

BCF DESIGNER PROFILE Clothing women for over 30 years, Madeline K. Smith began sewing at the tender age of 8 in East Chicago, Indiana and by 12, she was redesigning outdated pieces from her wardrobe. By high school, she was sewing for friends and by college she created her first wedding gown. Though college took her on a path toward law enforcement, the retail jobs she worked while in school brought her back to the road of fashion.

Though the transition was a 15-year process, Madeline finally took on the role she was destined for – clothing designer. Her company, Madeline K Couture, took shape after she created a non-traditional wedding gown for a friend. That wedding gown initiated the sophisticated styling, unexpected silhouettes and luxurious fabrications that have become Madeline’s signature style. Word of mouth increased her customers and accolades from fellow veteran designers increased her belief that she was supposed to be in this business. A locally televised contest in 2011 solidified that believe when Madeline won a locally televised designer contest against accomplished designers. The judges were likewise accomplished and included designer David Meister and noted retailer Lisa Kline. Their vote of confidence along with their encouraging words has truly increased Madeline’s confidence in this business.

Today her goal is to build a fashion house that is synonymous with timeless, glamorous clothing for the fashion conscious woman.

COMPANY PROFILE Established in 2003 with a big dream, a lot of prayer and very little money, Madeline K Couture debuted to rave reviews from industry veterans and customers and the accolades continue today. A big fan of glamorous, feminine clothing reminiscent of old Hollywood, designer, Madeline K. Smith’s passion is creating clothing that captures the romance and allure that defined the 40’s and 50’s with modern unexpected details.

“Our mission is to produce clothing that is synonymous with timeless elegance and highend quality while providing superior service.” Relying on skilled workmanship from French trained contractors and luxurious fabrics while integrating unique, unexpected details, Madeline K Couture is committed to making their customers feel their most elegant at the most important times in their lives.

Committed to being an asset to the local economy, all garments are made in the United States, primarily Southern California, which is the home of Madeline K Couture.

The Power of Acceptance & Change

By Myra Wallace Many are familiar with the popular serenity prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The strength to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. Can we just give some thought to a couple of lines from that poem. First, “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Secondly, “God, grant me the strength to change the things I can”.

Somewhere between those lines lives the sole purpose of this- my message to you. Where do we discover the freedom in change and the power in acceptance.

Much of our time, we spend time complaining about what we look like, rarely celebrating the things that are working for us. Who we are, is who God made us, period We must learn to accept all the little nuances of who we are. Accept your height, weight, and shoe size, you can’t change them. Accept the texture of your hair, the shape of our nose, your dress size, you can’t change them. Accept our round butt, flat butt, or no butt, you can’t change them. Now, can you alter them, yes, but before you do, you MUST first accept where you are.

If you want to grow from here, you must start from here.

Perhaps you haven’t realize that words are containers carrying amazing power. What we speak and what we allow others to speak into us is what we give authority to grow as truth in our life. Stop allowing those negativity words to be spoken into you, before they take root. We should not willingly accept someone’s degrading negative opinion of us, as your truth. Our outer appearance is and never has been the total sum of self. Push the mute button when the, “I’m not good enough, cute enough, slim enough” song begins to play in your head, or from the lips of another person.

There may be areas in your physical body, which may require some change, if you seek to you live a long, healthy life. It is at this place where you call on the wisdom and strength from God and will yourself to make these changes. Remember you can do all things through Christ, who gives you the strength. The “all things” means exactly that—all things including the struggles that you believe are unique to your situation, down to the issues that challenge the masses. God is not a respecter of persons.

You ask, does it mean eating healthier? Yes, all things. Does it mean losing 100 pounds? Yes, all things. Does it mean working out? Yes, all things. Does it mean overcoming this bad diagnosis? Yes, all things. Does it mean stop smoking, stop doing drugs, stop sleeping around, stop sleep deprivation, and stop overeating? Yes, ALL things. We have to stop telling ourselves that our situation is so different, so severe, and so irrevocable, that even God can’t help us overcome it. This is where the Serenity prayer comes to life even more. God grant you the peace and tranquility to accept what your own lil’ self can’t change. Be determined to change the things that you can and remember what God will do for one, he will do for another, including you.

Being a size six is not necessarily a sign of good health, no more than having a little meat on your body is an indication of bad health. What I’m saying is, this whole “I need to be a certain size,” diet thing has placed our

entire society in one of the most unhealthy environments of any economically developed, civilized society. What are you doing to your body? Pay close attention! Your body speaks to you constantly, are you listening? Are you waiting for a bad diagnosis before you take notice of all the red flags your body is waving in front of you? Our bodies were created o heal themselves, but we refuse to give them the nutrition it needs to do so. We are wellbuilt machines that require proper maintenance, and we’ve been cheating it with these quick-fix remedies. A strong, healthy body is one of the best tools we have to ensure a beautiful life. What we eat affects our skin, hair, teeth, nails, heart digestion, and of course our weight.

In addition to what we put in our bodies, what we do externally also plays a role. We know that a healthy balanced diet can deter sickness and disease. We know that physical activity (exercise) is a must in order to keep our bodies functioning at their optimum level. We know a size 6 dress size does not necessarily mean good health, or that a size 14 means bad health. With that said, let’s consider a few of the following pointers that may help prevent undue stress and assist us in living longer healthier more beautiful lives.

Diet & Exercise Did you know that heart disease is the number one killer of women? An exercise program does not require you to join a gym—it simply means to adopt some type of regimen that addresses the body’s need to be active.

Start by walking your block at a moderate pace, doing 15–20 sit-ups every morning before getting out of bed, or doing 30–40 knee raises while preparing for work. The key is doing some activity that gets the blood moving and your heart pumping. It’s not about losing weight or getting to a certain size; it’s about having a good, strong heart; strong, healthy muscles, joints, and bones; and making certain that all of your internal organs receive the proper blood flow to function at their optimum levels.

Your Skin Did you know that your skin is your body’s largest organ? Yep. It serves a multitude of purposes—it takes a lickin’ but keeps on tickin’. I believe there is a lot of truth in the ole saying, beauty’s only skin deep. Below the surface of this large organ is where the real beauty lies. It is composed of muscle, bone, cells, and lots of other good stuff—so it is imperative that we start once again, from the inside. Give your skin a new layer by giving your body some foods that will give your skin back that healthy glow:  Antioxidants Antioxidants neutralize free radicals. Free radicals are highly reactive oxygen molecules that damage cells and contribute to just about everything that can go wrong with skin—from dryness to wrinkles.  Vitamin C Vitamin C is an antioxidant that is required for at least 300 metabolic functions in the body, including tissue growth and repair, adrenal gland function, and healthy gums. It also aids in the production of anti-stress hormones and interferon, an important immune-system protein needed for metabolism of folic acid.  Omega 3’s Omega 3’s fight inflammation, which has been recognized as one of the top skin agers. They help protect against sunburn. Some fish with a good source of Omega 3’s are: salmon, tuna, trout, Atlantic mackerel, sardines, and pacific herring.

Hands & Feet

Use a pumas stone to scrub away the dead skin and soften those heels and other callous areas on your feet and hands. Use a moisturizer created for hands and feet that contains Shea butter or cocoa butter for that added moisture, then cover with spa treatment booties and gloves, or Saran wrap to lock in the moisture. Scrub your cuticles with a nail brush (hands and feet) while showering. Did you know that many infections get into your body through your cuticles? Clean under your nails daily.

Your Mouth There is nothing more distracting than trying to hold a conversation with someone who has bad breath. It’s not a good look, ladies, and Halitosis (bad breath) can be caused by poor dental hygiene, tooth decay, improper diet and many other things, but can be easily rectified by taking alfalfa- 1000 mg / 3 times a day; myrrh, peppermint, and rosemary to brush your teeth; Parsley, chew a sprig after meals.  Teeth Your smile is one of the first things people remember about you, and your teeth are the one feature on your face that everyone notices. More important, your teeth are the first level of your digestion. For starters, make sure you brush at least twice a day. Brush your gums, your back teeth, your tongue, and the roof of your mouth. If you want to be proactive in the whitening process, an excellent and inexpensive way to whiten your teeth is to soak your mouth in 1 oz of peroxide 2–3 times a week. Another inexpensive whitener is Plus White, found at any of your local drug stores. Try to replace your toothbrush on a monthly For desert have strawberries—as a matter of fact, you can cut one in half and rub it on your teeth; it will help keep them white!

I hope you’ve been inspired to begin a life respecting the principles covered in the Serenity Prayer, but more importantly, that you begin to live a life that exudes Beauty from the inside out. Healthy Living Ladies!

Stepping Out! Stepping Forward!

By Chris L. Gilrath II www.wix.com/clgil77/gil-gil

How do you move forward from adversity? Do you have what it takes to get back up on that horse after you have fallen off a few times? Life throws us a bunch of curves at times and we choose how we move forward and step up our games. Popular culture and the media have given us a lot of examples of just how to do that.

We all know the story of Tina Turner, who rejuvenated her career in her mid 40s after dealing with years and years of domestic abuse from her husband Ike. She was broke and in serious debt and without a record deal. Tina was taking gigs anywhere she could.

Nothing was too good for her. She needed the work. Through it all, she never complained and was extremely happy and fulfilled. She had what it took to step it up and step forward. Only then, did her career go the next level and she reached a new level of success that even surpassed her time in the 60’s with Ike Turner. Now at 73, Tina is reaping the rewards of her longevity and perseverance.

Anita Baker started off with the Detroit band Chapter 8 and had enjoyed modest success with the R&B minor hit, “I Just Want To Be Your Girl”. However, when their record label folded and was sold to a major record label, the band’s contract was not renewed and they (the record label) used Anita Baker as the scapegoat for the reason.

They told Baker that she could not sing and her voice sounded too manly. For a while the experience of that left a bitter taste in her mouth, and Baker found herself getting a 9 to 5 gig and becoming a regular person. She would not even hear of further pursuing her musical aspirations any further. She was comfortable and safe. It took a phone call from a friend, an executive in the music business, to offer her a solo deal to get her to reconsider her options, Now eight Grammys, twelve million records, and sold out concerts later, Baker is living her dream and has become one of the most influential and successful singers of popular music.

Marla Gibbs was 40 years when she got her big break playing the iconic television character Florence Johnston on the American classic The Jeffersons. Marla went on to do 227 and still has a solid career today in the twilight of her life.

Jennifer Hudson was long considered to be the frontrunner of American Idol and was considered to be one of the best, however Hudson finished 7th place much to the shock and dismay of the public. Fast forward to 2013; J-Hud has won not only a Grammy but also an Academy Award, Golden Globe, and a Screen Actors Guild Award. Now what would have happened if she had given up after that disappointing news from American Idol?

Tyler Perry grew up a victim of physical and sexual abuse. He was homeless and distraught. He got inspired from Oprah Winfrey, who told him to channel through pain by writing. Perry began to write and journal. He turned those journal entries into plays, and from there those plays turned into movies. Now Tyler has a seat on the Hollywood A-List and is one of Hollywood’s key players.

Now at some point in these icons careers, they probably did not want to step forward and claim their destinies that God had called them too. It became too hard. They had too many disappointments, failures, and haters. Yet, they got back up and dusted themselves off and stepped forward. They looked beyond their past struggles, disappointments, failures, and adversities. They stepped up and stepped forward.

At times, we look at our icons in popular culture and society and wonder what their impact is in our individual lives. Looking at these examples, we see that if they can move forward in their careers and block out the negative energy and haters, we can do the same. Maybe we have a book that we want to write, or a promotion we want to go for, a degree we want to pursue or a business we would like to open yet we lack the drive or let the enemy come in and discourage us. We have had too many failures or setbacks that hinder our thinking. It is time to look at the examples in society and in our personal lives and put one foot in front of the other- take the chance and step forward. It is the only way to make it happen. It is never too late.

“ TASTE COMES FROM THE HEART ” Chef Barbie talks with Joy Johnson of a “Joyous Event”

I luvvvv talking about Good Taste!! I am constantly thinking about T-A-S-T-E and what good taste means. To me, the obvious might seem a dish well prepared and tasty but it all comes down to this: Good taste is really the result of having a heart for what you’re doing! Have you ever been served a dish that appears like it may have traveled over Niagara Falls in a barrel before it got to your table? Was there ever a plan for plating this meal? Ever walked into an event and wondered if there had been a theme or a plan for the décor?

In my food work, I have come to appreciate the help and services of a good event planner. They make my job much easier by executing THE PLAN in the most tasteful way possible. And let’s be honest, good taste is a well-thought out plan combined with passion for the details. If you don’t care, it shows.

Today we’re pleased to welcome Joy Johnson, owner and operator of a Joyous Event Planning & Management, LLC. Quite possibly one of the prettiest ladies I know, both inside and out, Joy Johnson, a former runway fashion model and NBA wife, knows how to bring good taste to any event she helms. Joy started “A Joyous Event”, her own event planning company in 2001 after hearing her husband’s words of wisdom. Read on for the full story.

A resident of Phoenix, Arizona, Joy is currently married to former NBA player Eddie Johnson. They have two children. In addition to owning her own company. Joy serves as a founding member of Behind The Bench (BTB), the National Basketball Wives Association Non Profit. Joy also chairs and serves on several different women’s organizations in Phoenix, all committed to helping others and changing lives. Passionate about her work, Joy brings class and style to everything her hands touch.

Barbie: Hello Joy, thank you for taking time to speak with me today. I appreciate it.

Joy: Barb, it’s a pleasure. I’m honored!

Barbie: Joy, I have to say that whenever I think about good taste and the classiest events, your name comes to mind first. Not only are you drop-dead gorgeous but you are one of the most-polished, classiest NBA wives I know and you are famous for making events beautiful. I think you should have a show! Please tell our readers a little about how you got started in the event planning business Joy: Wow! Thank you Barb! I credit my husband for getting me started, really. As you know, I am married to Eddie Johnson, who is now retired from the NBA. Because his work took him everywhere, I found myself moving a lot and I seemed to find myself at the helm of many of the events the NBA wives’ association planned.

.

Soon after we arrived at the Indiana Pacers in 1995, I was elected President of the Players’ Wives Association (The Pacers Connection). We were responsible for planning all the team’s benefits. I learned that I loved to raise money, help people and make things beautiful. So a Joyous event was born out of my philanthropic work, really. One day, Eddie said to me, “You should start your own event planning business, you’re good at it!” So, Barb, that’s what I did. My penchant for this type of work, combined with my degree in Psychology has helped me win people and I really enjoy what I do. I think of myself as a conduit insuring that every event goes well and that I’m able to take a client’s vision and bring it to life!

Barbie: Joy, tell me about your very first Joyous event and about some of your favorites.

Joy: My first event was in 2001. My husband threw my name into a hat, so to speak, for a Chamber of Commerce Annual Golf Fundraiser in Phoenix. It was a big success and we raised a lot of money. It remains one of my favorite events today. Also, I just completed a beautiful wedding on behalf of an attorney here in Phoenix. It was a multicultural wedding, set in a Botanical garden. The whole landscape was eclectic and very beautiful. I also enjoy being a part of the planning for NBA All-star Weekend. Behind The Bench hosts a luncheon, a silent and live auction, an awards ceremony and a fashion show, comprised of professional models, NBA players and their wives. It’s really a lot of fun.

Barbie: Name a highlight of your event-planning career?

Joy: Wow, there’s so many but recently, as a result of planning an official event celebrating Arizona’s Centennial year, I co-produced and edited a coffee table book highlighting 48 of Arizona’s most extraordinary women. It’s a beautiful book with photos and extraordinary stories in it.

Barbie: Wow, that’s awesome Joy! How can we find this book?

Joy: You can find the book at www.48women.org Barbie: I’m very impressed, not only are you a talented event planner but you’ve got editing skills. I might need you!

Joy: (laughs) I would be honored…anytime!

Barbie: Now do you like to entertain at home when you’re not working?

Joy: Oh yes, our house is always full! I love to entertain. I love parties, decorating and honoring guests.

Barbie: Do you like to cook?

Joy: I have a very long list of caterers that cook for me!

Barbie: What goes into planning a party or an event?

Joy: Well I first consider the “mission” of it. A party is always built on what the guest loves. With events, I love taking a client’s vision and getting creative with it.

Barbie: What would you consider your greatest challenge in planning an event?

Joy: There are always going to be challenges. The most important thing is respect. Everyone needs to have a clear understanding of his or her roles. You must know your boundaries with a client. A lot of challenges are avoided by simply “getting it in writing”, which is the bottom line.

Barbie: Do you find bigger events are more fun or do you like small intimate events?

Joy: Well, small is not necessarily easier! Not everyone can afford big events, so I love opportunities to be creative with any budget and I love working with creative vendors.

Barbie: What would you say to a person who is interested in starting their own event planning company?

Joy: You must be a “people” person and you must have a spirit to serve. If for example, I’m doing an event and I see a glass window needs to be cleaned, I will get over there and clean some windows. You must be willing to do all that you can to make sure the event goes well.

Barbie: Define “good taste” for me?

Joy: Extraordinary florals, orchids, roses, calla lilies, fine wines, being able to prepare fresh food, healthy food, bamboo chairs, organza chair covers, exquisite linens. And again, not everyone can afford these things; so good taste is being able to make it creative and tasteful with any budget.

Barbie: Joy, you’re amazing! As soon as you mentioned orchids, I could smell the fragrance of them! Thank you for talking with Beauty Come Forth today. I’m really looking forward to what’s next for you and we wish you all the best!

Joy: Thank you. It’s been my pleasure!

For further information on how to contact Joy, please go to: www.ajoyousevents.com www.behindthebench.com

Stop Faking Your Faith

By Kim Martinez “Fake it ’til you make it.” We’ve all heard those words. It’s great advice when you are in front of people, trying to make a good impression or learning a new skill.

When it comes to faith, faking it doesn’t help—it hurts.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” You can see why people might fake faith; it is impossible to please God without it. So, just like kids trying to earn a treat, we try to be what we think God expects.

When we fall on our face, the tendency is to hide it under the proverbial rug instead of openly admitting our lack.

What Does Faking Faith Look Like?

Imagine a relationship with someone you don’t quite trust. Do you tell them you don’t trust them? Not usually—you fake it when you are around them. You put on the smile and pretend that everything is fine. When we fake faith, we do the same thing to God. About 10 years ago, we were in a difficult time financially. Every month, the bills would pile up. I was never sure where the funds were going to come from, so I faked it. I tried to walk in “faith,” proclaiming that God would provide, but inside I stressed like crazy.

I felt like I was on a bungee cord, hanging over the side of a bridge. Every month the ground rushed up to meet me. I had an internal battle on whether we were about to splat on the ground (financially) or whether I could trust the bungee cord (God). Every month, just as the ground was about to make contact with my face, the money would roll in and we’d be safe again. A year and a half into this ludicrous yo-yo, I started to get real.

“When are you going to let me off this bungee cord, God?” I asked. He replied, “When you stop blinking.”

Seriously?

Then, just a few weeks later, I got a hold of real faith. I had an epiphany one day. We’d been on the bungee cord for 18 months, and our bills had been paid every single month. We had clothes, food—all our needs were met. That was the last day I worried about imminent doom. I knew that God was my provider. My honest conversation with God about my situation turned into real faith.

I’ve seen people fake faith in more creative ways—and it is dangerous. There is a truth that what you focus on becomes your reality. There are those that have taken this truth and made it an issue for God: “I want X, Y, Z, so I’m going to focus on it and quote Bible verses about God providing so God will give it to me.” Fake faith.

Then there are those who go the other direction. I discovered this pattern on a long plane ride with a church group.

As I stood up and stretched, I mentioned that my back hurt. A lady sitting near by, full of “faith,” reprimanded me: “Don’t say things like that. You are giving the devil a foothold.”

Choosing to Believe There are times when we really don’t have the faith. Instead of pretending we do, honesty with ourselves and God admits the problem and is the first step toward true faith. Instead of covering for God, we take the problem to Him. We let Him fix it. When we aren’t sure, we can fully admit, “I am choosing to believe this. If I’m wrong, I still believe I’ve made the best decision.”

This is how I came to real faith in God. I had no problem believing He was benevolent. After all, if He existed, then He was who the Bible described him as. He looked out for His own.

But I would have seasons of real doubt about the whole deity thing. I’d wonder if all religion wasn’t man-made. I’d wonder if we had constructed gods in our own image to make sense of our existence. Instead of walking away from faith, I made a decision. I didn’t fake faith; I chose to believe.

I studied all the different religions and discovered that the only religion that doesn’t require humans to work their way into God’s embrace is Christianity. Even those based on reincarnation required the individual to work for a good place in the next life. So I sat down one day and decided, "I’m going to believe in the God of the Bible. If I’m wrong, that is OK." That decision came about three months before God quickened my heart. My head knowledge became heart knowledge, and I’ve known God is real ever since.

What is the difference between faking faith and choosing to believe? Honesty. God wants to have a real relationship with us. We can fake it and pretend that we have it all under control, or we can live in honesty, admitting that we don’t always get it and that sometimes God doesn’t make sense. Who would you rather be in relationship with? Someone who has you all figured out and works to manipulate you into doing what they want, or someone who has honest discourse, trusting you to do your part and asking questions when you don’t make sense?

Kim Martinez is a regular contributor to Ministry Today. She is a writer, speaker and ministry coach. You can hear more from her at deepimprints.com.

Overcoming Fear: The Pier and the Gazebo

By Sheila A. Taylor

While on vacation with my sister, I had an experience that I related to Peter’s walk on the water as Jesus beckoned him to come forward, keeping his eyes on Him. One sunny and balmy afternoon I took a walk on the beach to take in the beauty of the Choptank River on the eastern shores of Maryland. It was a glorious time of worship and reflection. I soaked in all of the majestic beauty created by God’s hand. It was breathtaking.

I noticed a pier that was a path right in the middle of this vast river. A gazebo sat at the end of the pier. The fact that the pier emerged from the middle of this river and had no rails on either side caused fear to rise in the pit of my stomach. I watched as people casually strolled along the pier toward the gazebo. I wanted to see the wonderful structure that awaited those who walked the distance of the pier so I decided to go. My first few steps were ok but as I moved further out along the pier, fear gripped me with such intensity. I recognized that I was actually in the middle of a river with only the narrow path of the pier keeping me from submersion. I had to go back. I felt defeated. I had allowed fear to cause me to be daunted from stepping out.

The next day, before our departure, my sister and I decided to take another walk along the beach. The day was overcast, a complete opposite of the crisp blue skies the day before. Dense fog had rolled in and muted the visibility of the river and the gazebo. Unlike me, my sister loved the walk on the pier to the gazebo and wanted to go one more time before we left. I wasn’t having any of it. On that day, the fear was even worse. I feared the river and now, because of the fog, I could not see it at all nor could I clearly see the pier or the gazebo at the end of the pier. I had no intention of attempting to walk that pier. I told my sister to go ahead and I would wait for her. She wasn’t having it. She encouraged and beckoned me to come with her. Fully aware of all that made me afraid, I took her hand and moved forward. Shaking like a leaf, unsteady in my gait, I continued to move forward with my eyes set on my destination, the shelter and stable surroundings of the gazebo. We talked nonstop and I would not allow my eyes to venture upon the waters on either side of the pier.

When we reached the gazebo, we joined hands and thanked the Lord for such a blessed time of spiritual refreshing and fellowship together over the past few days during which time He gave us so much revelation of His love and goodness.

I related that experience to Peter in Matthew 14:22 where Jesus beckoned Peter to step out and walk on the water to Him. Peter did fine until he allowed the wind and waves- the distractions of life to take his sight off of Jesus. That experience was rich in spiritual truths. God showed me that keeping my eyes on Him is of vital necessity to reach my destiny. He also showed me that we don’t reach our destiny in a vacuum, without the encouragement and help of others. Without my sister’s steady confidence, encouragement, strength, and hand holding, I would not have stepped out and faced that fear. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend." We need one another. Our gifts and talents were not designed for our benefit alone. They were designed by God to strengthen and encourage others to grow in their purpose and destiny.

The Peace That Mammas Bring

By Chris L. Gilrath II I remember it very clearly. Although it was eleven years ago the memory runs through my head still as if it were yesterday. It was the day I lost my job. For over ten years I had been a very successful professional and had never had any issues. Well with this job there were quite a few issues that were not of my doing and yet still I lost my job. Lies had been told; my name had been somewhat scandalized. I was upset, worrying about what my next move would be. “What am I going to do now?” I sat in my car for a few minutes after I had got the news. All I could think to do was get in my car and just drive. I drove to my mom to tell her what happened.

There was no judgment, no ridicule, or “what are you going to do now?” It was just a hug, a prayer and comfort and the phrase, “Everything is going to be all right.

And with that I was at peace…

I can remember when I was a child, my parents would be at work but if I would get sick, they would call my grandmother Christine. One particular time when I was about nine years old, I got sick at school and I was not feeling well. I was there at school miserable. I had to sit in class with an upset stomach and I was nauseous so I got extremely upset. I wanted to go home. They called my grandmommie to get me and she was there in what felt like two seconds. She took me to her house, gave me one of her famous home remedies and she let me lay down on her couch while her jazz music was playing.

And with that I was at peace….

There is something about the love of your mother and the love of your grandmother that just gives you peace of mind. You can be going through the worst of days, and the worst of situations but just hearing from your mother gives you peace that will just make everything all right. It is a bond that can make you feel on top of the world.

Mothers and grandmothers act as buffers as well. When you were in trouble with dad, you would go to your mom for support. When that did not work, and both your mom and dad were angry with you, you would look to your Grandmother for support. When I would mess up royally in my life, I would often go to my mother first or my Grandmother first to get their opinion before I would go to my dad because dad is the disciplinarian, the head of the house, the decision maker, so often you needed your mother or grandmother to be that buffer, or your fixer. Something about that gives you peace. There is no judgment, never any judgment, just love, just support, and a comforting hand.

Moms pray a lot, worry a lot, and deal with a lot with their children even as adults. My mom used to pray every time my sister and me would go out for the evening. We would always return home safely. There is nothing a mom would not do for her children even as adults. To this day, if I run into a situation that is tough, I call my mom and she has a solution. Do not even attempt to mess with a mother’s offspring. While moms and grandmothers mean peace, mess with one of their children and see what happens. The ferocious mamma bear comes out to protect her cubs even if they are grown ones. There is also something about that that gives you peace, knowing your mother has your back and will defend you, even when you are wrong. Do not mess with mamma! My Grandmother Christine would always make sure her crew was not slighted or missed anything. If we were late to a potluck or to an event, my grandma made sure that there was a plate of food. I remember one time when I told my Grandma that a coworker was giving me trouble just in casual conversation, do you know the next day my Grandmother was at my place of employment asking me “Which one is she?” I told her she was not there (lie) but just knowing that Grandma was going to have your back, was something that gave me peace.

A mom will do whatever she has to do to make sure you have what you need. I remember my mom, alongside my father working two jobs both manual labor so that the bills were paid. Rarely did she complain but she just did what needed to be done. Then after working on their feet all day, then they come home and put in even more hours, washing dishes, sewing up pants, washing our clothes, and cooking our dinners. Florida Evans from Good Times and Roseanne Conner from Roseanne come to my mind in popular culture as television moms that eluded that type of realness. Of course everyone wanted a Clair Huxtable from The Cosby Show or a Carol Brady from The Brady Bunch but that was not everyone’s reality. In my neighborhood our mothers were more like Florida and Roseanne who worked multiple jobs and still had to hold down the family without missing a beat.

Mom’s had to deal with special diets, meaning, “I don’t like this or that.” The proverbial joke is that if you didn’t like it, you didn’t eat. That was the case in my house, as much as I say it was. I didn’t like navy beans growing up, nor did I like chicken and noodles, whenever Mom cooked that, she would always make sure I had some frozen pizzas (until I was old enough to work and pay for my own).

My mom would be at every event, parent teacher conference, classroom party, or music concert you had even if they had to take off work. Do not tell a mom she cannot have time off for her kids. You do not want to do that.

Even if you did, a mom work overtime or sacrifice her other day off just so she could attend your school events.

That’s what mom’s do. There is something about that gives you peace, knowing you would not be one of the kids who did not have a mom present. As an educator it was sad to see the lack of participation today from some of my student’s parents. I often remembered that no matter what my parents had to do, they would make sure they would not miss our events. They made it happen, they did what needed to be done.

As a child, I did not have to want for anything because of my parents. I could not recall a time when we did not get what we wanted, due to my parents even if they had to sacrifice.

My grandmother passed away two years ago. I miss not being able to go to my grandmother’s house on a midweek afternoon to watch Young & The Restless or listen to jazz music with her. Throughout my busy workweek or with whatever situation I was going through it was peaceful to go there and forget about the world. I was always at peace there. Words cannot express how much I miss that. Every now and again you need that in your life. I no longer live in the same city as my mother, but just hearing her voice gives me peace for the day and a comfort that is like no other.

There is something about our mothers that gives us peace.

Reach Someone! Teach Someone!

By Wendy M. Reynolds, MS/P Wendym.wordpress.com http://twitter.com/Wendymreynolds Whew...Hope. A couple of years ago someone asked me why I f ound it necessary to always talk about hope and why I always fel t a need to tell people "You Matter." Interesting how no one asks me those questions today. All one has to do is turn on the televis ion, go out the front door, or perhaps just get out of bed to see t hat folks all over are dealing with hopelessness. This week alone we have seen devastation in Nepal, protests for justice in Baltim ore, New York, Detroit, as well throughout the country- We see children facing deplorable situations in their homes and in thei r schools... often growing up with no real sense of self- lacking v alue, lacking hope and quick to quit.

Early in life I had a strong sense of identity and faith, mainly due to my parents. And trust me, it has made a h uge difference throughout the years. When I felt like throwing up my hands, I couldn't because I knew I wasn't born to quit!

Although not perfect, my parents taught us that we mattered, that we brought value to our family and to the w orld. Too often today I think we forget just how influential we as humans can be. We have the ability to nurture and help develop our children so that the craziness in the world won't define or defeat them.

Our youth were not born to be negative statistics. They are amazing young people who are trying to find their w ay in the world. However, their identities and destinies are under attack. We must take it upon ourselves to re mind them every day who they are. We must encourage them, pray for the, teach them, discipline them, celebra te them, inspire them, empower them, believe in them, set the example for them, and fight for them. We must talk to them about their dreams and inform them that they are already great and that they are destined to do gr eat things! We MUST find ways to reveal the greatness within them "to them" so that they can see it in themsel ves and reflect it outward!

As I reflect on my Mom during this Mother's Day month, I can't help but recognize her influence in my life and confess that during my best days, Mom has been there. When life threw me punches- when I took hard blows t hat knocked the wind out of me and knocked me off my feet, she got in the ring right with me- not counting me out but fighting- picking me up off the mat- telling me to trust God, to be strong, to press on, and to punch back . She is simply the best person I know. Because she is phenomenal, I learned that I too am phenomenal and I'm teaching others that they are phenomenal!

This month I challenge you to remember the influence you have. Use it. Make it count. Take time to reach some one and teach someone. Show someone how valuable they are. Teach someone how to grasp hold to hope and n ever let it go. Remember, you have the ability and the responsibility to make a difference!

Until next time, The proud daughter of Harriett L. Bandy Reynolds

Raising My Girls Against all Odds Interview by BCF Editor-In-Chief Myra Wallace When you hear of someone mention a single family household, most times it is the mother who comes to mind.

In a society where statistics too often highlight the absence of fathers in today's families, whether it be physically absent by reason of divorce or other negative influences, or mentally & emotionally absent due to personal indeference between the mother and father. In any case the ratio of single mother's raising children have always outnumbered single fathers raising children, yet this month's featured story is about a man who has tipped the scale in the opposite direction. We had a chance to sit down with single dad & Corporate Executive, Mr. Darnell Walker. Mr. Walker has more than 30 years experience in the Aerospace industry. After receiving his Bachelor's Degree in Engineering and entering the world of corporate America, Mr. Walker was inspired to excel in the business world, and decided to continue his education and went on to receive his MBA at Pepperdine University, while holding down his position as Vice President & General Manager at BE Aerospace. While experiencing the rewards of success in his professional life, this single super dad managed to maintain a healthy balance with his personal life by raising three beautiful, intelligent and gifted young ladies. , Darnell's world travels and international business dealings, influenced him to learn four foreign languages, although not fluent in all, he continues to have an interest in many other cultures and the diversity of other languages.

Mr. Walker's tenacity played a huge part in his climb up the corporate ladder, demonstrating both business savvy and his aptitude for strategic planning.

Applauded by his peers for his work ethics, his reputation grew fast as the man to get it done both in the office and at home. Although his business and physical environments were constantly changing over the years while working for the various fortune 500 companies, his work ethics remained steadfast while running eleven companies in five different countries and overseeing more than 2000 employees. In the midst of the years where he carried his heaviest work load, Darnell encountered an untimely divorce and willingly took on all the responsibilities associated with being a single parent. His baby girls became the priority in his life as his gift to manage challenging situations surfaced once again on the home front. Known by his rich baritone voice and articulate speech, this gentle giant is a force to be reckoned with in the board room, yet a source that soothes the savages, when he serenades you with his saxophone.

A musician at heart, he still picks up the horn that was once served as a source of income in his early years, this gift took second fiddle to his corporate calling.

Q & A with Mr. Walker BCF: As a single father raising girls, what was your greatest challenge?

Darnell: Making sure that my girls received a balance perspective of what a parent is. My struggle was being a man and trying to teach them something I was unfamiliar with, which was how to be a lady BCF: Were there ever times you felt like throwing in the towel?

Darnell: Yes, there were times I was completely overwhelmed, yet throwing in the towel was never an option.

BCF: How old are your girls now?

Darnell: I have an adult daughter who is 32, a set of twins who are 13, and my youngest is 8 BCF: What is your relationship with your children's mothers?

Darnell: Unfortunately my relationship with my daughters mother has been strained for a number of years BCF: You career has obviously required you to travel extensively. How did you manage to do so while raising small children?

Darnell: It involved having a very close knit extended family who contributed to supporting my parenting efforts BCF: during your international business travels, which languages were you inspired to learn?

Darnell: Portuguese, Spanish, French, Hebrew, and although I took a great interest in all of these languages I am really only proficient in Portuguese.

BCF: What do you do to wind down and decompress from the stresses of life?

Dranell: I enjoy relaxing at home, listening to jazz music BCF: I see you are a musician, how often do you play?

Darnell: Not as often as I should, maybe 4-5 times a month.

BCF: What is your favorite pass time?

Darnell: I enjoy international travel, learning about various cultures BCF: What would you consider your greatest accomplishment in life?

Darnell: It's hard to narrow it down to one single accomplishment. I would like to think that raising my children would be one and far exceeding my professional aspirations.

BCF: Who is someone you admire?

Darnell: Historically, Martin Luther King, a person with vast vision, that was compelled to everything he could to help mankind.

BCF: Did you have a mentor growing up? If so, who were they?

Darnell: I had several, in grade school it was my teacher, Gordon Tyre. In college, it was my professor, Donald Steward. And most important, over all, it was my father, who was a teacher of life in his own right.

BCF: What is the best piece of advice you've ever received?

Darnell: To treat people the way you would like to be treated.

BCF: What advice do you have for a single father raising girls?

Darnell: Be prepared to extend a lot of patience while making sure you continue to tell them and show them how much you love them. Take the time to share in activities with them BCF: You know we are a women's "Beauty" magazine? What is your definition of Beauty?

Darnell: My definition of beauty lies in the heart and soul of a person, it's how they convey love and kindness to others.

BCF: You know we at BCF, we have more than 6000 subscribers to BCF, and we believe in celebrating women and the unsung Sheroes of today, are there any women you would like to give a shout out to for helping you in your journey?

Darnell: I'd like to thank my mother Priscilla, my sisters Dana & Charnee, my good friends Stacey, Kim Chau BCF: What's on the horizon for Mr. Walker personally and professionally.

Darnell: I am actually entering, what I would call the next phase of my life. Professionally, I've recently opened my own consulting business (Logistic Manufacturing Solutions) while pursuing a long anticipated public speaking platform. In addition, next month, I am about to marry my perfect soul mate, Myra Wallace (BCF Editor In Chief).

Mr. Walker's compelling presence, passion for public speaking and endorsement of the benefits of higher education, commands the attention of various audiences across the nation. His motto: Success is the reward for those willing to do the work.

It's Personal!

By Wendy M. Reynolds, MS/P Wendym.wordpress.com http://twitter.com/Wendymreynolds When 2015 rolled in, the first words in my heart and out of my mouth were: "Wow...2015! This year it's personal." And it has been- personal that is.

The last few years have been a little rocky. Okay, a lot rocky. I've faced and handled my own personal crisis while helping others manage theirs. Life, right? It wasn't easy.

But I knew I had to keep my perspective right. I knew I had to stand in faith and as I entered into 2015, I knew restoration (whether it looked like it or not) had begun.

I took a lot of time to be alone and to meditate. I let go of some toxic relationships and adjusted some others. I cut out the noise of naysayers and the opinion of folks whose opinion on the matter didn't matter and I nourished my spirit and soul with the word of God and a few positive people. I made the conscious decision and effort to take care of the whole self- to see myself through the eyes of God and to celebrate the amazing and incredible person I am. The lessons I learned through my experiences were being seared into me during time. I kept myself as the priority in my own life. It may sound a little selfish but trust me it isn't. There is nothing selfish about loving yourself and keeping yourself as priority. It's critical. Yeah... it's personal.

As I looked back on what I have been through, my perspective has shifted. Truth be told, I have endured some losses. I lost the box that I and others tried to put me in. I lost the need to prove that I really am ok and that God is with me. I loss the need to explain myself and justify my dream and vision. I lost my Superwoman cape. I lost some one-sided relationships. I lost some guilt. I lost the obligation to always be available to people who were not available to me. I lost some emotional (and physical) weight that I've allowed myself to carry for way too long. Whew, I can finally say, "Thak God for the losses!"

As I start to close out the first half of 2015, I'm celebrating. I feel great and I'm full of expectation. I celebrate the improvements and progress made, whether big or small. I celebrate the person God created me to be and the impact that I've made and will continue to make through the gifts, talents, and abilities God has given me.

This month, instead of focusing on what goals you haven't yet obtained, make time to take inventory of your progress, your lessons, and your improvements. Write them down, whatever they may be. Take time to feel good about them- about yourself. Make it personal. Celebrate yourself. This will be both a mood and a momentum shifter as you enter into the second half of 2015. Are you ready? Let's go!

….And Move On

By Myra Wallace (Exert from Beauty Come Forth Book)

As women, we are emotional beings, and we tend to tie our self-worth to how others have treated us.. Believing those things is believing a lie from the enemy, not the promise from God. We are all blessed and highly favored in our own unique way. I know circumstances in life would have us to believe we are isolated incidences of offense and no one has had to endure the pain we’ve gone thru, well maybe not your exact offense, but remember, there is nothing new under the sun.

You may have been molested as a little girl by someone you trusted. Perhaps a parent or some adult you looked up to, told you a lie and caused you to doubt and mistrust everyone in authority.

Maybe your family struggled financially, and you took on the shame associated with that struggle.

I’m sure as a child you had high hopes for your life—you had plans to be different from the surroundings that burdened your heart. Then, that seed of resentment was planted; you really thought you were over it. I mean, after all, some years have passed and you’ve been doing just fine. As a matter of fact, most people don’t know the difference. Actually, you look like you’ve done pretty well for yourself. Every once in awhile you may have those small spurts of anger or resentment popping up at the most inopportune times, but you get through them. Then you find yourself standing face-to-face with that long-haired, green-eyed girl name Mary. You know the girl who captured the attention of the first boy you had a crush on.

Un-forgiveness has the ability to mask itself. It shows up in the form of bitterness, sarcasm, anger, distrust, and cynicism. Yes, certain things made you feel bad; yes, it was wrong; yes, it should never have happened, but it did, and holding on to the thought of it is not doing you any good. As a matter of fact, holding on to resentment will begin to rot inside of you. Un-forgiveness will cause you to carry around a foul, unattractive attitude. You will become suspicious of any person or thing that resembles the thing that caused you the pain and resentment in the beginning.

You will find that this thing begins to grow every time you add another offense to your checklist of “they did me wrong.”

Stop it. Take notice of any un-forgiveness in your life, and begin to forgive. You may find that the biggest offender is yourself. So start process of forgiving, by forgiving yourself first.

FABSTYLE Interview with Celebrity Stylist- Karicean of The Posh Studio In years past when the subject of fashion and beauty came up, stylist were rarely in the forefront of our conversations. In fact the designer’s name or the top model has always been the highlight of the fashion spread or red carpet event. Yet in recent years the tables have turned as many producers, directors, entertainers and magazine publishers have come to realize it is the “Stylist” that brings the vision full circle. This month BCF would like to give credence to our very own, the amazing cClebrity Stylist, Karicean.

Celebrity Stylist- Karicean

Karicean, a southern California native, knew from a early start that she had a desire and drive that set her apart from many in her field. With a strong background as a hair and wardrobe stylist, coupled with a communications degree, she founded The Posh Studio. Now sitting at the helm of this creative empire as the renown celebrity stylist Karicean brings together some of LA’s hottest hair, make-up and wardrobe stylist The Posh Studio provides a world class complete beauty experience for celebrity clientele and non-celebrity clientele alike. The idea is to create a relaxing, pampering and luxurious atmosphere while at the same time providing superb craftsmanship with a strong emphasis on making our clients look their best, rather than a canvas for stylist creativity.

Karicean, known as the Karen was not satisfied with the status quo, hair stylist, thus beging her quest for the fashion and entertainment industries. That mission proved to be the turning point of her career. Karicean’s extensive wardrobe and hair styling background, coupled with communications experience made for a smooth entrance through the door to the fashion industry as a publicist' assistant at a men's design studio in Los Angeles; there she learned the methods of design and fashion creation, from sketch board to department store. She worked her way from PR assistant to Sales & Marketing Manager, in the course of three years. Through branding and crafty promotional campaigns, her creative guidance helped catapult the company in tripling their revenues in three seasons. By applying promotional techniques to the art direction of catalogues and eye catching fashion ads, Karicean was able to define herself early on as an image choreographer.

Fully equipped with a rounded knowledge of fashion, Karicean returned to the hair industry, studying and working under various international hair organizations including, Vidal Sassoon, Matrix, and Tony & Guy. Recognized for her creative use of extensions, cutting techniques, and thermal styling, she quickly earned a reputation amongst her high profile clientele as a Rock Star stylist. This trailblazer was quickly recognized as an innovator in the African Actress-Tamara Taylor

American market, noted for bringing new techniques that would increase bottom line. It was at this juncture that

Karicean was invited by various manufactures to be a stylist instructor for their product, including Wella/Sebastian.

Proving herself as a trailblazer, Karicean became a magnet to the world of runway fashion. She wowed her audience with cutting edge images which were featured in Apparel News, Ebony Man, and Honey Magazine. It was through these events and her ability to magnify the craftsmanship of designer collections that quickly placed her in position as creative director. Karicean and her staff produced electrifying images for runway presentations for some of the world’s most famous designers such as, Donna Karan, Betsy Johnson, Richard Tyler, and Kevin Hall.

Not long after, she was appointed image coordinator for the Absolute Vodka Tour, extending her portfolio for some of America’s top super models.

Entertainer-Axl Rose

Besides the U.S.; Karicean’s creative talents received global attention when she was asked to teach the art of hair & fashion in Tokyo. As the years progressed, she was offered the opportunity to use these same talents in the world of entertainment, when appointed personal stylist to Axil Rose of Guns & Roses, during his Chinese Democracy Tour. Upon her return to the U.S., Karicean landed the position of personal stylist for actress Nia Long. She has been called upon to create images for R&B projects for the likes of, T.I., Nelly, Snoop Dogg, and Trey Songz. Others she has styled for would include Paula Abdul, Nikki Reed, Selma Blaire, Denise Richards, Stacey Dash, and is the personal stylist for KTLA Morning News anchor Michaela Pereira. Recently, Karicean has been appointed by Jamie Foxx as lead stylist for his production company.

She is in high demand in the world of “Celebrity Image Makers”, creating a niche market for herself amongst those who style and design for elite clientele such as, Oprah Winfrey, Beyonce’, Mariah Carey, Jay-Z, and Rhianna as well as publications such as, Elle and Vogue. These high profile designers and stylists, come to Karicean when in need of their own Red Carpet Image. In addition, she is also called upon to design images for the first ladies of some of the Mega Churches in Los Angeles.

Sam Rubin, Jessica Holmes (KTLA)

Karicean was nominated by LA Business Journal in 2009 and’10,” Women who make a difference” in the category of Rising Star. Over the years, Ms. Karicean is definitely the light behind the shine! She has left her mark on every project she has taken on, leaving a lasting impression that clearly states; ...”the best is yet to come”!

There is obviously much on the horizon for Karicean and we at Beauty Come Forth are very proud to say she was one of the founding figures of this magazine and has always had her hand in some part of the beauty and creativity you’ve experienced every issue we’ve published. Karicean was our founding Beauty and Style Editor for BCF Magazine and continues to keep us Stylish today. Mark my words, this is not the last you shall hear of Ms Karicean and The Posh Studio.

Actress-Carrie Ann Moss

Q. & A with Celebrity Stylist Karicean It was an honor to take some personal time with Karicean to chat about all the wonderful things she has had her hands on. between films and photo shoots her calendar has been booked full since the beginning of the year! After a challenging week of little to no sleep, I was able to lock her down to ask her a few questions that I believe will give everyone an inside peak to the industry that has us all intrigued.

Take a look!

It appears that you have found your nitch in the styling game as you are both a hair stylist & wardrobe stylist, correct?

Karicean: Yes, I operate as both a hair stylist and wardrobe stylist.

What inspires your creative style?

Karicean: In my travels and when I am in the company of other people from other places and experiencing other cultures, it inspirers me.

When did you get your first break into the Hollywood circuit?

Karicean: Around the age of 19 years old I was working on the project "The black panther movie" now called "Panther" directed by Mario Van Peeples in 1995. Ted Long, gave me my shot, and I just kept going from there. I remember being escorted off set but came back again and someone saw my photo album, not portfolio, my photo album, and said ok, come tomorrow. And that was the beginning of it all.

Actor- Cuba Goodings, Jr.

Did you have a mentor in the industry?

Karicean: In my beginning days there was

a woman named, "Eddie M Barron" who was so mean to me, taught me EVERYTHING, taught me to be fast, taught me to be tough, taught me to complete what I started, just taught me everything." She said I was slow and she said that God told her "Take her and show her the way" and she did and that's why I do it the way I do today.

Who has been your most interesting client?

Karicean: I think they are all interesting in their

own way, not one holds more significance than the other, honestly, they are all different, they all pull different things out of me. I have been afforded to be sharpened by them all. They are all interesting and all offered me something different. SO I can't really simply answer that.

Who would you say is a challenge to style & why?

Karicean: The most challenging for me is a person who doesn't see themselves, they can’t see their own shine because maybe they don’t like themselves. So if I had to answer that question with a person, I would say that use to be me! I didn't see myself as a head turner and so I ended up using my gift to make others shine.

Erica Tazel

What triggered your career as a wardrobe & hair stylist?

Karicean: Styling hair has always been a part of me. It is my gift.

Once I realized that I pleased others when doing their hair, I saw that everyone does not know how to do hair and so I want to keep doing it. I started at 11 years old and said 'hey I can do this for other people because it makes them happy, it makes them feel good, and I liked making others feel good. Back then my starting fee was $2.00.

MKO Man (a Big & Tall men’s apparel line founded by BCF Publisher, Myra Wallace) was the other source, it was my validation for wardrobe styling. I didn't even know that there was a title for this thing, until doing merchandising and sales for a company. Although I didn’t design or sew, I knew how to put things together that would attract and sell. I put stories together and those stories attracted the buyer and that was my goal. Myra kept saying, "you are a stylist," I didn't

even know what that meant. Then my mother showed me some awards I had received for merchandising, while working at a retail fashion store during my high school years. She said I would constantly sell more than the others due to my presentations. So there it was. I just like clothes; I didn't know it was a thing. People liked it, I discovered it by accident. Who knew?"

What would you say is a stylist job or place?

Karicean: I stylist job is hard work, for long hours.

But it’s also a life of service, helping someone to help someone else obtain a goal. Whether to sell something or create a character, we help reach that goal, a role or a job, red carpet or a magazine, my job is to bring their image or imagination to life. That's a gift and I am blessed to think I walk with that gift, but it's not a position of or about YOU, it's actually very humbling, a job of service. We are in the background, to create the forefront. Many times, we are NOT even mentioned and the thing mentioned is their style or hair. I am grateful by the person shining, helping them shine, job well done. The results are my thanks. Got to love to be able to navigate through with or without feeling short changed. It's not about you, it’s a partnership, and we don't look for praise it only works with all the elements working together, like the moon, the sky and the sun, without one of them it doesn't work. One doesn't work for the other, and none gets more shine than the other, but none seeks shine it just is.

Tell us about The Posh Studio?

Karicean: I always felt like POSH was an outward expression of what you were a perfect blend of all the amazing abstract of one’s concept of style, a fusion of culture and influences that engages all your senses.

How did you come up with the name?

Karicean: The name itself actually means the power to organically stimulate harmony How does a person convey their style in their clothes?

Karicean: You don't convey style, what you are playing

that day, dictates what you want to convey that day. The character you play that day, we play characters for the day, if you feel like a rock star, a rapper, a regal person, you want to wear something that says that. That's your rendition of what your interpretation of it is for you.

What would you say your style is?

Karicean: I don't have a particular style, a certain style, it really depends on how I feel, how I want to be perceived for the day. What do I want to give off? Do I have to go to court today, how I want a jury or judge to see me, etc. I am abstract random in both my personality and my style.

What’s your advice to someone looking to break into your industry?

Karicean: I would say start by evaluating your heart, see if it's for you, and do your homework.

Are you a person of service? Are you a team player? What are your intentions? You might not want this, if you are doing it for the shine. All the arts work collectively together to bring forth the vision, not one’s singular effort or praise. A servant’s heart is the way to succeed in this industry. Otherwise, this is NOT for you.

Do you take on interns or have any kind of mentoring program through the Posh Studio?

Karicean: Absolutely yes I take interns, but they better be ready to work or they are out. That's the criteria; they need to want to do this by all mean necessary.

In closing, what is your definition of Beauty?

Karicean: My definition of Beauty is having Harmony with yourself.

Contact info for Karicean: www.theposhstudio.com Email: Karicean@theposhstudio.com, Phone: 310-803-0779 Intagram: theposhstudio,

Facebook: Karicean Michelle

How To Understand Your Divine Design

By Marshawn Evans

For we are Christ’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do.

–Ephesians 2:10

This is one of the scriptures I return to most often and for me, this one is perfect for us who are messengers. It really just describes the entire journey of stepping into our BIG purpose.

Curious? Let me explain. I see four key pieces here.

1. The first is “workmanship,” and to me that means that you are a custom creation, that there is no one like you. Nobody else has the stuff that you have and has been created in the way that you have. You are a custom, tailor-made, one-of-a-kind creation.

You should never try to imitate and replicate what has already been done… because it has already been done! The world needs what only you have and it is already present in you. Any time you look outside of yourself to find something that is only within yourself, you miss the mark every single time.

2. A second piece is around good works. Your existence and presence here on Earth is to be able to do good works. You have to understand that there is a purpose to your voice. Good works are part of what you are expected to do and what you have been designed for. You’ve been designed to do awesome and amazing things.

Is that overwhelming? Well, it’s only natural to shrink back and think your vision is too big.

But what this scripture tells you is that you were pre-designed for the amazing. You were pre-designed for the incredible. You were pre-designed as a messenger.

I know this about you because if this wasn’t true for you, you wouldn’t have felt that tug you’ve been feeling.

You see, not everybody will hear the invitation that you have heard. Those who have been pre-designed for something else won’t resonate with your tug because they have their own version of it.

But you, my friend… if you are reading this, I know that you have been listening to your invitation to be a messenger in the world.

3. The third piece is “in advance.” You might be surprised by some of the things that God shows you about your life, about your business, about your calling, and about your own significance—but He’s not. He knew about all of the things that He would have for you from the very beginning. He knew who needed you. He designed you in such a way to meet the needs that other people have.

4. And that last piece—the word “do.” Yes, action is required. It’s not enough to know what you are here to do, to say, and to share. You actually have to do it. God really knows whether you are serious. You really can’t fake this. Think about it…. What happens when you get busy and take on other activities? You do every single thing except use the unique thing that you’ve been given to do. And you end up wasting it.

I always say that God will extend an invitation, but He will not give the information and instruction until after you have accepted the invitation.

I know you’ve heard the invitation. Now, what are you going to do with it? I believe that if you won’t respond, someone else will. God doesn’t lose. He doesn’t know how to lose. Purpose only knows how to win.

And this is your time to respond. Your time to act. Your time to step into your purpose.

Tell ME, what’s your first step going to be? I’d love to know!

Marshawn Evans is a Global Mentor and Catalyst for Women looking to Launch Their Dreams and Live Their Purpose. She equips others to AMPLIFY their lives, their leadership and their legacy by teaching the principles of influence, branding, and divine purpose. Her weekly eZine goes out to thousands of subscribers. Are you ready to unleash your brilliance and align with your REAL destiny? Sign up for a FREE subscription at http://marshawnevans.com.

Love You Through

By Myla Denise Try-Umph @MylaDenise

I’m not a mother, but there are quite a few children in my life. There are moments when a simple gesture or phrase melts my heart and times when they have emotional meltdowns that send me hiding in my own quiet corner. In both cases—and every situation in between—my love doesn’t waiver. What I feel for them is not dependent on their best or worst. I love them through it.

All of us have struggles and some require years of emotional work and determination to overcome. Few of us feel confident to be genuine with others because we don’t trust that they will love us through the emotional work. We hide behind what we think they want to see or hear. We hide behind smiles and ideas. We live isolated and contrived lives. My challenge to you is to discover those who will love you through and then let them!

The first part of that challenge is not easy. For years I struggled to learn who was going to love me through hardship and who was simply waiting until I crossed the finish line to love me in celebration. I made some mistakes. I trusted words over actions. I gave more weight to what I wanted instead of what I needed. Although I made errors on whom to depend on, I compounded my own difficulty by then loving fearfully instead of freely. I instituted a blanket method of relationship. No matter what individuals had proven, everyone was treated the same. Everyone heard the same response. Everyone received the same smile. I threw everyone at the finish line and pushed myself into running the race alone.

Loving freely requires trust. Trust means being vulnerable, placing your confidence in someone else, and giving up control. Yes, all of that is extremely difficult, but it is no less emotionally taxing than forced loneliness.

Maybe you’ve had this vision of who would be standing by your side, loving you through and the ones who have proven themselves aren’t the ones you pictured. Maybe you’ve been so busy chasing who isn’t there that you can’t see who has been standing beside you. Don’t allow the absence of someone cause you to miss the presence of anyone.

I think about the little people in my life. They can have a catastrophic, emotional outburst or get the disciplinary action of their young lives in front of me. Even still, just moments later, no shame nor guilt nor doubt prevents them from jumping in my face, asking me to take them for ice cream, or begging me to play some game. They have the confidence to know that I’ll love them through their outbursts and lapses in judgment. I challenge you to exercise the same level of wisdom by trusting those who have been purposed and have chosen to love you through your doubts, fears, heartaches, and difficulties.

Myla Denise is the author of the inspirational blog, Try-Umph and Dawn: Diary of a Poet. She is a life lover, smile giver, and encourager in large part because she is a survivor. In addition to being a writer and a student of the world, Myla is a higher education marketing professional who resides in Santa Barbara, California.

This Is What a Battered Woman Looks Like?

by Janice Fuller-Roberts

It’s easy to say what you would or wouldn’t do in a situation from the safety of your own home. It’s like being an armchair quarterback or a backseat driver. The “right” thing is always obvious when you’re not in the thick of things.

Everyone does it. We sit on our high horses and haughtily pass judgment on the actions of others. But the thing about high horses is that they’re precarious perches, and falling off is easier than you think. Some of us even get knocked off.

I got “knocked” off my perch about 25 years ago when I was beaten by the man I loved. After all this time, it’s still hard for me to type the words “I was a battered woman.” It’s not that I’m ashamed. It’s just been so long, it’s almost as though it happened to someone else.

If you’re like me at that age, you already have a picture in your mind of who I must have been to end up in this situation. Let me disabuse you of your preconceived notions right away. I was college educated (though I hadn’t graduated) and from a family where college education ran four generations deep on my mother’s side.

My parents had a great marriage and provided a stable home. My father never lifted a finger against my mother, my sister or me. He didn’t even raise his voice. I had a good job, great friends and lived comfortably.

I was involved in my community and even attended board meetings for a domestic violence shelter.

Still, I’d never witnessed domestic violence first-hand. I didn’t know anyone in an abusive relationship. It was something that happened to other people … until it happened to me.

I didn’t fall in love with a woman beater. Yes, there were warning signs. I’ll point out a couple as I continue.

But by the time my relationship turned violent, I was more than a year into it and deeply in love. There was no violence in the beginning.

I won’t waste space talking about my batterer. Even though he had some very real problems, this isn’t about him. This is about the woman I was at the beginning of the relationship. This is about understanding that domestic violence doesn’t just affect “certain” people. Every few seconds women are beaten, and we need to recognize who those women are. We need to see them. So you need to see who I was.

Despite outward appearances, I wasn’t as “together” as I seemed. My self-esteem was dangerously low. I felt unlovable and harbored deep feelings self-loathing. I could write a novel about how I got to this emotional low point, but I won’t. I will say that it took years for me to get there.

A few years earlier, I’d been treated for depression. In my family, there’s absolutely no stigma against therapy. In fact, we’re big proponents of it! By the time I met my abuser, I wasn’t in therapy anymore. I should have been, though. I honestly believed I was unworthy of love.

Then I met him and he fell for me right away. He was so attentive and wanted to be with me all the time. This was new to me. I was used to guys “playing it cool”, not calling back, etc. And here was this man, so sweet and attentive, telling me I was beautiful and smart. He made it clear from the start that he wanted a “real” relationship with me.

He fell fast and hard, which was exactly what my fragile ego needed. I was intoxicated by all that attention.

So at first, when he was a little possessive and jealous, I thought it was because he loved me so much. When he began to resent the time I spent with my family or girlfriends, I thought it was another indication of his love. (Warning Sign Alert: extreme possessiveness.)

Yeah, I saw the early warning signs, but they crept in over time. Anyway, I ignored them because I loved him and wanted this relationship to work. So I stopped hanging out with my friends because I thought it would make him happy. Or I’d come home early, hoping to avoid an argument because “look honey, I came home early to be with you”. He felt uncomfortable around my family because they were educated and professional, so I saw them less often. (Warning Sign Alert: isolation from family and friends.)

By the time the first punch landed, I was a shell of my former self. I wasn’t a social butterfly, anymore. I’d lost touch with my friends. I’d lost interest in the things I loved.

That night he beat the crap out of me. He threw me against walls, he punched me and he kicked me. I’d never been hit like that in my entire life. And yes, I fought back! But he was stronger. I lost.

I left the next day while he was at work and I wish I could tell you that I stayed away. I didn’t. It took one more beating before I left for good. This time, I had him thrown in jail, though. And then I never looked back.

I had it better than many battered women. I had someplace to go. I had a support system, my own money and no kids to worry about. My boss at the time had influence and pulled some strings, so the police were helpful.

Not that they wouldn’t have helped me without my boss’ intervention, but you do hear stories.

One of the first things I did when I got free was go back to therapy. I wanted to know why I ended up in an abusive relationship and I wanted to make sure I never went back. I worked very hard to move past this horrible chapter in my life.

Still, with all my education and knowledge, in spite of my loving support system, it wasn’t easy to for me to leave. I want to drive that point home. It’s not easy to leave an abusive situation. For one thing, my selfesteem hadn’t improved and I worried no one else would love me. And I really did love him.

So when you look down your nose at your co-worker, friend or a stranger on TV who has a hard time leaving their abuser, remember my story. Come down off your high horse and realize that domestic violence isn’t just about hooking up with the wrong man. It isn’t about being weak or being too stupid to leave. It isn’t about not defending yourself, either.

Understand that before the first blow lands, a battered woman is usually already in hell. She doesn’t need your pity or scorn. She doesn’t need your judgment. She needs your love and support. She needs somewhere to go and she needs help staying away.

That was a dark time in my life. But even worse than the beatings was the way I felt about myself. Despite my upbringing and everything I had going for me, I didn’t love myself. And that’s where the problem started.

A quarter of a century later, I’m a different woman. But I have to work at self-love like an alcoholic has to work at staying sober. I take it one day at a time. I have to remain vigilant, lest those feelings of worthlessness creep back into my psyche. Self-love is the first line of defense against domestic violence.

I shared just a fraction of my story. Attention must also be given to the batterers and how they got that way.

It’s true that hurt people hurt people. Until we get better at dealing with the hurt and doing the work it takes to heal, this horrible cycle will continue.

Kiss & Make-Up with Artist- Georgette Holmes Question 1 - What lip and eye colors will be the trendy/hot colors for the fall?

Answer - There are three trends that will be popular for fall 2015. The first trend is red/berry lips. Many women are intimidated by the idea of wearing red lips because they think their lips are too full to bring that much attention to them or color is too bright. The trick is to find a shade that works with your style and personality. Red/berry lips come in a full range from bright fire engine red to cherry red, brick to deep burgundy. Play with different shades. You may be surprised by what you like once you see it on your face.

The second trend is bronze eye shadow. Wearing shimmer shadow gives a brightness to your eyes. Bronzy shadows can come in a range of tones as well. There are cool bronze tones such as antique golds and there are warmer shimmer shades that have undertones of yellow and orange.

The last make-up major trend of fall 2015 is graphic eyeliner. The most popular graphic eyeliner is a sharp winged liner. By using a sharp edge like a card or a piece of tape and placing it diagonal from your lower lash line to the end of your eyebrow, you can create a crisp, sharp line. Play around with different looks and techniques. You'll be happy you did. And remember, it's just make-up. If you don't like it, you can take it off and start over!

Question 2 - How often should you replace your make-up brushes?

If you care for your brushes properly, you shouldn't ever have to replace them. Most brushes are synthetic fiber brushes or natural hair brushes.

Both can be cleansed in the same way. Every few days, it is best to use a brush cleanser. My favorite one is MAC's brush cleanser. I put it in a pump spray bottle, spray it on a paper towel and GENTLY move my brush back and forth. The purpose of the cleanser is not only to remove product, but bacteria as well. Though the cleanser will remove most of the product, it will not cleanse it completely. Depending on how often you use your brushes, I recommend washing them every 2-4 weeks. Using a mild clarifying shampoo that is SLS free is best. Aveeno's baby shampoo is great as well. Use lukewarm water and wash the brushes with the bristles facing downward. Be very gentle while washing because you don't want to fray your bristles. You don't want to turn the brush upward (with the bristles at the top) while it's wet because water will drip into the furrow of the brush and loosen the adhesive of the bristles. Lay the brushes flat on a towel to air dry overnight.

If you take care of your brushes they will take care of you!

Question 3 - Are you suppose to use hair glue for eyelash glue?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!! Step away from the hair glue! The eyes are very sensitive and must be protected. It is so much easier to get an eye infection then people realize and, if not treated properly, some eye ailments can result in blindness. I cannot say it enough...PLEASE be extra careful when it comes to anything around your eyes.

Hair glue is so not formulated to be around such a delicate, sensitive area as your eyes. There is permanent lash adhesive available that is specifically designed for that purpose. It does cost about $8.00 more per bottle which is more expensive than hair glue at about $3.00. It also is not that easy to find. You either have to order it or find it at a beauty supply store that has professional products available.

However, the small inconvenience of having to order it online is worth it to save your eyes.

If you are going to a nail salon to have individuals applied and they don't have the eyelash adhesive, I recommend purchasing your own adhesive and taking it with you. There are added benefits to using the lash adhesive. 1) the adhesive doesn't loosen with water so you can cleanse your lashes well and not have make-up build up on your eyes. 2) The adhesive requires a specific remove to loosen it so you can take your lashes off safely and gently without damaging your own lashes or pulling them out.

Other alternatives are to having individual applies is to get lash extensions. They are a bit pricey but are worth it. They look great and you care for them just like natural lashes. The last option is to wear strip lashes which I do almost every day. It does take practice to get the hang of it, but when applied correctly, it is difficult to detect that they are strip lashes. The key is to get a pair that look natural.

Question 4 - Is it necessary to contour/highlight your face every day?

Highlighting and contouring is not necessary, but it does add dimension to your face. Most of the time when highlighting and contouring is demonstrated, it is done so heavily with concealor or foundation. An alternative to have a softer look is to use powder only. It has a natural look while still giving your face depth. In the before and after picture, the features are more pronounced and the cheekbones look a bit more chiseled. The second photograph is behind the scenes at a clients' photo shoot. The light picks up the highlighted sections of her face well.

For more make up tips, join Georgettte's Make-Up MondayS page on facebook

Thanks-Living!

An Attitude Of Gratitude Makes all the difference!

Wendy M. Reynolds, MS/P Senior Managing Editor, Beauty Come Forth WendyInspires @Wendymreynolds

As we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving Day, I wonder how often we really take the time to sit and reflect on those things that we are thankful for? How easy is it for us to go through the ups and downs and busyness of the day and forget to acknowledge that which we should be thankful for?

Life has not been perfect. Things didn’t always work out the way I planned or wished them to. I didn’t and still don’t get everything I want when I want it. I have had some loses that caused my heart to break. But you know what? I have so much to be thankful for. I have wonderful family and friends in my life. I’m thankful for parents and siblings that I actually get along with (Most of the time- Ha!) and whose company I honestly enjoy. I’m thankful that my parents never took back the house keys .

What else am I thankful for? I can breathe. I can see the sunrise as well as see the moon in the night sky. I have the ability to feel and touch. I have a mind that thinks. I can move. I can hear the sound of the abundance of rain. I have clothes. I have a vehicle and I can drive (despite what my brothers say!). I have a comfortable place to lay my head at night. I can speak and communicate. I can own property. I can pick up the phone and call someone at any given time of day. I can enjoy the beauty of music. I have a career. I live in a country where I am not confined to one particular space. I have skills that are useful and needed. I have running water and electricity. I have an education. I can go and open up the fridge and find food to eat. I can worship God. I have salvation through Christ! Oh, I’m thankful!

I want to Challenge you to have a Thanksgiving Life! Take time- find time each day to be thankful for what God has done for you, given you and brought you through. My friend Jeaniene created a facebook page called "3 Things for which I am grateful over the last 24 hours". It's wonderful because it challenges me daily to find the good in each day! On those difficult days when it seems like my world is falling apart, I'm committed to looking deep within- past the hurt and find that place of gratitude. It makes a difference. It's like a defibrillator to my heart. I encourage everyone to keep a daily gratitude list so when life challenges come and attempt to overwhelm you with discouragement or regrets, you’ll have something to look back on and be reminded that God is good and that you have every reason to be thankful. When you have a mindset of thanksgiving- when you keep an attitude of gratitude, you’ll discover that life to be so much more enjoyable.

I am thankful for each of you who stop by and share in my thoughts. I’m thankful for the impact and contribution that you make in my life. I’m thankful for those of you who have shared in my laughter, my grief, my happiness and in my struggles. I’m thankful for those of you who encourage me to be better. I’m thankful for those of you who have stretched me and who continue to stretch me beyond what I thought was possible.

Thank you for sharing in and believing in my dreams and for being a part of my world!

7 Reasons Not To Give Up on Your Dreams

By Amanda Dewitt Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? Maybe a fireman? A baker? A ballerina? Whether or not you still hold those childhood dreams of twirling about in a pink tutu or rushing off to extinguish a house fire, you probably have some sort of idea what you ultimately want to do with your life. BUT are you actually doing it? Are you working towards it? Or have you given up all hope on your dreams with the burdens of daily life pulling you down?

Pursuing your dreams comes along with many benefits! Here are some reasons why you should not give up on your dreams: 1. Failure.

This word seems counter-intuitive in reasons not to give up your dreams, but failure is more beneficial than you might think. Most people don’t pursue their dreams for fear of failure. Little do they know, this is one of the biggest ways we learn and grow!

Many famous and successful Americans had to fail over and over again to achieve what they hoped to in life. Abraham Lincoln failed at war, as a businessman, as a lawyer and even at politics at first. He pushed on through and became president of the United States. Thomas Edison’s teachers called him “stupid” and he was fired multiple times before “failing” 1000 times attempting to invent the lightbulb. Michael Jordan was once cut from his high school basketball team. He later said, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career.

I’ve lost almost 300 games 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot … and missed.

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.”

If we can learn anything from these successful men, it would be to never give up on our dreams simply because of fear of failure.

2. Persistence.

With that failure comes persistence. Persistence is something that can only be learned through hardships. If you never fall down, you can’t learn how to get back up. Each time we pick ourselves back up and forge through, we get a little bit stronger and more capable of achieving our ultimate goals.

3. It’s better to try and fail than to wonder what might have been.

Have you ever regretted trying something in your life? Perhaps it was trying out for the school play. Or asking that special someone out on a date. That feeling of wondering what could have been might still eat at you even years down the road.

How do you avoid that feeling of regret? By trying. You don’t have to do something huge, but sitting down and making a plan with small steps on how you will achieve your dreams will start you off in the right direction. Little by little you will forge a path towards your goals.

4. Successes along the way.

If your dreams are big enough, you will have stepping stones of success along the way. Small achievements that can be celebrated and reviled in. These small victories can help push you through to the next goal and soon enough, your dreams will be realized.

5. The pursuit.

Many valuable experiences are found in the pursuit. There is a reason the pursuit of happiness is in the constitution. Memories, friendships, skills, life lessons, love. Basically, life is what happens when we make our way towards a goal. Applying for that college which seems out of reach, we might meet our soulmate. In seeking for that promotion, we might meet a best friend or mentor. Signing up for that team, we might get to travel the world. In order to value the pursuit, we need to follow our dreams!

6. Success is often just around the corner.

If only you knew how close you were! If only you knew what an impact would be for one more phone call, one more interview, and just one more late night working on your passions. Often we give up far too soon. We can’t see what the future holds for us, but we sure can keep striving towards our dreams.

7. Setting an example.

Finally, if you have children (or might have them some day), you will be setting a good example. Do we want our children to tell stories about how comfortable we were sitting on our couch watching sitcoms, or do we want to be remembered for the passion we had for life? Hopefully we can show the future generations what it means to chase after our dreams. Most importantly, in the words of Winston Churchill, “Never Never Never give up.” (this article was previously published on lifehack)

I’M OK, I’M ENOUGH

By Myra Wallace-Walker I’m ok…. How many times in life have you heard yourself say that? Do you really believe it? Or, is it the best shot at trying to convince yourself that in spite of your world crumbling right before eyes, you can grab your boot straps and pull yourself out of whatever situation is making you feel like you’re on the edge of giving up? I know that pep talk very well, I’ve had it with myself on many occasions, but it was not until recently that I’ve truly accepted the fact that I am ok, that I am enough, that I am exactly where God wants me to be. I am a woman, and as a woman I will be the first to say we are a very self-censured species. When all else fails, blame yourself and make sure everyone else’s self-worth stays intact. We are constantly seeking the stroke of approval from the individuals that we have allowed to define our worth, when in reality they are usually more emotionally deficient than we are. Yes, I’m talking about the opposite sex. We are the wives, mothers, girlfriends, bff’s with benefits or employees, constantly preparing for that next hoop to jump into, hoping that this time we will actually get that cape and leotard with the “S” on the chest. Well I’m here to declare to you, that cape is a figment of our imagination sold to us at an early age, but they forgot to tell us it’s not real and that the real superwoman is looking back at you every morning you wake up and look in the mirror. Yes I declare, I’m Ok, as a matter of fact, I’m more than OK, I’m phenomenal and so are you. It’s time to stop entertaining those conversations going on in our head, telling us we need to change who we are, we do not.

The only change that is needed is a change of perspective, our perspective of self. I’ve spent many years of my life sabotaging my greatness at the expense of making sure everyone else was ok, all the while pushing my needs, wants and dreams to the back burner, secretly hoping the person holding my heart strings would somehow see me really see me and not just look through me. Now as I reflect on many of my experiences, I’ve come to realize, I had the wrong perspective. It shouldn’t matter if they ever see me, if they can never grasp the amazing woman I am. What matters is that I see it, that I own it, that I speak it and most important that I be it. We as women have a tendency to lose ourselves, we somehow equate changing our name to changing our identity or with the title of mother comes the supernatural power to conquer the world in one day. News flash, your life is not a TV sitcom, and though we often long for that fairy tale ending, the reality is our lives are more like a never ending path of discovery and once we are able to change our perspective, we are able to see the many possibilities of creating a beautiful new experience every day we open our eyes. Yes, you are enough and you are OK and I’m so glad to say that so am I. Now it’s time to show the world, and this time, it requires no hoops to jump through, no pats on the back by your non validating significant other, no pulling yourself up by your boot straps, it simply requires you to be you, pure and simple and let God handle the rest.

While on this journey back to self, try to remember the famous poem of Ithaka written in 1911 by the Greek poet Constantine Peter Cavafy-

As you set out in search of Ithaka Pray that your journey be long, Full of adventures, full of awakenings.

Do not fear the monsters of old‌ You will not meet them in your travels if Your thoughts are exalted and remain high, If authentic passions stir your mind, body and spirit.

You will not encounter fearful monsters If you do not carry them within your soul, If your soul does not set them up in front of you.

Written to encourage those on the journey of self-discovery, a personal odyssey in search for authenticity.

A RESOLUTION OF FAITH Resolve to believe what you speak

This is as personal as it gets. Your personal affirmations are your chance to affirm the woman you are destined to be. This is your time to speak life into your dreams and faith into your visions. Show love, encouragement, and appreciation to yourself by choosing words that frame your goals for the day, week and year. The power of words has been overlooked by most, yet everything that is, was first spoken into existence. So make sure to choose your words wisely and remember, you have what you say. If you want love, use words of love, and try to avoid words of anger and bitterness. You want peace, speak words of peace and not confusion and chaos. Be resolved to have what you speak and then believe by faith that it will come to pass, but keep in mind to align those things spoken with God’s will and not selfishness or greed. I remember reading Rick Warren’s book “A purpose driven life” I love that book, it had great insight to how we become who we are and how we can better align ourselves with God’s will for our life, in such a way that we reap the benefits of living the abundant life God desires us to live.

At the end he has you write out your personal statement of purpose.

Below is a wonderful example of a resolution of faith. It is a copy Daily Confessions written by Joyce Meyers I love all people, and I am loved by all people.

I prosper in everything I put my hand to. I have prosperity in all areas of my life – spiritually, financially, mentally, and socially.

All my children have lots of Christian friends, and God has set aside a Christian wife or husband for each of them.

All my household are blessed in their deeds: we’re blessed when we come in and when we go out.

I take good care of my body. I eat right, I look good, I feel good, and I weigh what God wants me to weigh.

I operate in all the gifts of the Holy Spirit, which are tongues and interpretation of tongues, the working of miracles, discerning of spirits, the word of faith, the word of knowledge, the word of wisdom, healings, and prophecy.

I know God’s voice, and I always obey what He tells me.

The love of God has been shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Ghost.

I do all my work excellently and with great prudence – making the most of all of my time.

I am creative because the Holy Spirit lives in me.

I love to pray. I love to praise and worship God. I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress. I will speak forth the righteousness of God all the day long.

I have humbled myself, and God has exalted me.

I am a giver. It is more blessed to give than to receive. I love to give! I have plenty of money to give away all the time.

I cast all my care on the Lord for He cares for me.

I don’t give the devil a foothold in my life. I resist the devil, and he has to flee from me.

I don’t have a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.

I am not afraid of the faces of man. I am not afraid of the anger of man.

I am a new creature in Christ: old things have passed away, behold, all things are new.

I have died and have been raised with Christ and am now seated in heavenly places.

I am dead to sin and alive unto righteousness.

I am a doer of the Word. I meditate on the Word all the day long.

I am not passive about anything, but I deal with all things in my life immediately.

I do not judge my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus after the flesh. I am a spiritual man and am judged by no one.

I take every thought captive unto the obedience of Jesus Christ, casting down every imagination, and every high and lofty thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. I am a responsible person. I enjoy responsibility, and I rise to every responsibility in Jesus.

I have been set free. I am free to love, to worship, to trust with no fear of rejection or of being hurt.

I have compassion and understanding for all people.

I catch the devil in all of his deceitful lies. I cast them down and choose rather to believe the Word of God. I am anointed of God for ministry. Hallelujah!

Work is good. I enjoy work. Glory!

I have a teachable spirit.

I do not think more highly of myself than I ought to in the flesh.

Pain cannot successfully come against my body because Jesus bore all my pain.

I am a teacher of the Word.

I lay hands on the sick, and they recover.

I do what I say I will do, and I get where I am going on time.

I don’t hurry and rush; I do one thing at a time.

God opens my mouth, and no man can shut it. God shuts my mouth, and no man can open it.

The law of kindness is in my tongue. Gentleness is in my touch. Mercy and compassion is in my hearing.

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he; therefore, all of my thoughts are positive.

I do not allow the devil to use my spirit as a garbage dump by meditating on negative things that he offers me.

I am a believer not a doubter.

No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper, but every tongue that rises against me in judgment, I shall show to be in the wrong.

I am slow to speak, quick to hear, and slow to anger.

I cast out devils and demons; nothing deadly can hurt me.

I never bind a sister or brother with the words of my mouth.

I am always a positive encouragement. I edify and build up; I never tear down or destroy.

I will cry to God Most High Who performs on my behalf and rewards me.

My son has a sweet personality, and he is not rebellious.

I don’t speak negative things.

My children love to pray and study the Word. They openly and boldly praise God. My children make right choices according to the Word of God. I am an obedient wife, and no rebellion operates in me.

My husband is wise. He is the king and priest of our home. He makes Godly decisions.

I use my time wisely. All of my prayer and study time is wisely spent.

I walk in the spirit all of the time.

All that I own is paid for. I owe no man anything except to love him in Christ.

I love to bless people and spread the Gospel.

I am an intercessor.

I receive speaking engagements in person, by phone, and/or by mail every day.

My daughter operates in Godly wisdom and discipline, and she is full of energy.

I never get tired or grow weary when I study the Word, pray, minister, or praise God; but I am alert and full of energy. And as I study, I become more alert and more energized.

I will study the Word of God. I will pray.

I do not hate or walk in un-forgiveness.

I do not fear. I am not guilty.

L

eaving A Legacy of Beauty

By Myra Wallace

To think this all started with a simple message triggered by a conversation with a dear friend four years ago. As I reflect back on that purposed filled night, I clearly remember the passion in my voice as we discussed plans for her upcoming Milk and Honey Life Retreat. Sharon Elliott and I were visiting the beautiful Boulders resort in Phoenix Arizona, on a quest to find the perfect location for her retreat. Aside from being founder of the Retreat, Mrs. Elliott is also a gifted writer, established editor, teacher and motivational speaker. As she expressed her interest in me presenting a class on fashion and beauty, something snapped. I began to share with her my thoughts about how I felt about society’s perspective of women’s beauty and how we were missing it. I shared my experience of working in this vain and sometimes shallow fashion industry for more than half my life and the frustration I felt with the constant emphasis on beautifying the woman’s face and body while ignoring her inner soul. I then said “there are so many broken women, walking around appearing whole”, and I remember her instantaneous response, “you gotta write the book about it”. I was like, write a book! Oh no, I’ve got way too many things on my plate for me to even begin to consider writing a book, “besides” I continued “I’m not a writer”. Well as God would have it, a writer was born, but little did I know, in that same moment a movement was birthed and the legacy began.

It took me two years to complete the first edition of my book Beauty Come Forth-Unleash the Beauty Within, and I was honored to have my dear sister and my first lady Myesha Chaney, publish the book through her publishing company Tab Publications. Well, as many of you are aware, when God is in doing a thing, he never does it with just the present in mind, he has already seen it to it’s end, before we even begin. I realized that once he had planted that seed for writing the book he began to drop visions of a whole movement in my spirit. This was bigger than me, bigger than anything I could ever imagine or accomplish by myself. I began to share the idea of this beauty movement with a few people, while my close friend and fabulous celebrity stylist Karen and I had began to discuss plans to produce a Beauty Come Forth Conference, a conference that addressed the need to cultivate a woman’s outer and inner beauty. Well, once again as God would have it, favor showed up and sister Myesha offered Antioch as a venue to host our conference. So there I was with a book, a conference and the kick off of a movement.

The word began to spread fast, I had written the vision down and the herald had surely run with it. The first Beauty Come Forth Conference was held in Las Vegas with four speakers and a small group of hungry women ready to hear what God had to say about how to cultivate their inner beauty. By our second conference held in Long Beach at Antioch, our attendance was multiplied by ten and our speakers and workshops grew to ten. Talking about exceedingly abundantly above all that I could hope or think, you got it, God was doing the dog on thing. So now what? I thought, I’m just along for the ride, so what’s our next move Lord? The books are slowly beginning to move, the conference was a success, how do I get the book out there to the masses? How do I introduce this whole new beauty paradigm? The answer, you have not, because you ask not.

I began recruiting those who people God had placed in my life who were gifted in areas where I lacked. Enter, my beautiful niece, Nailah Lee, who has an amazing gift of administration and journalism and my dearest brother and friend, creative director and marketing master, Davide Stennett. Now this is where the story gets gooder. As we began to discuss new ways to brand the book and ignite the movement, we came to agree that the first order of business was a website.

As my mind began to envision this massive movement of God, my mind went to overload. I couldn’t think, all I knew was that it had to be bigger than anything I could think of or create. One day, before a planning meeting with my initial web designer, Phallu and creative director, Mr. Stennett, my neice, Nailah calls me with this bright idea about how people read a book, then place it on the shelf, but how a magazine has longer staying power and visual appeal, she then says “ I was thinking you should start a magazine”, I thought to myself, is this a joke, where’s the cameras? I simply replied, I don’t

think so, a magazine is a whole other animal, that I have neither the time or resources to take on, but hey with your journalistic savvy, you do it and I will support you all the way. The following day as I sat in a meeting with Davide and Phallu searching for the right look and concept for my website, my brain began to ache once again and I decided to take a break. As I walked away, I told them that I trusted their judgment and creative instincts with regards to the direction the project should go to best market for me, my book and the movement. My final words were whatever you decided, I will do it. Well little did I know they would come up with the same bright idea Nailah suggested the day before.

My first thought was that this was some kind of conspiracy and they had set me up. Only to find out they had not spoken to Nailah. I knew then, it must be God’s plan and my famous last words on that subject came to fruition, I trusted their creative instincts and more importantly, God’s voice. I must admit, however, it has been my Senior Managing Editor, Wendy M. Reynolds, who has held me to those words, while putting her hands to the plow to keep this vision going month after month, never skipping a beat.

Obedience is key when it comes to living on purpose and because of it, here we are, Beauty Come Forth nine years in the making. Kept alive by prayer and dedication of those who believed in the movement and ran with the vision. I must say,it hasn’t been easy, but it has definitely been worth it, and though I may receive many accolades for this vision, it has truly been the hard work of those who, wrote, photographed or contributed every month, encouraging the vision, empowering the vision and keep the vision going. May the legacy continue.

Beauty Come Forth Webzine--- the New Beauty Paradigm….

VISION This BCF Online Magazine is a monthly magazine featuring articles that address the lifestyle of women in transition to greatness.

MISSION The mission of BCF Online magazine is to Inspire, Motivate and Transform women’s Beauty through; fashion, finance, fitness, food, health, environment, entertainment, relationship, charity and spirituality.

PURPOSE To “Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in”

BCF COPYRIGHT 2009

THANK YOU FOR SUBSCRIBING!