Being Better magazine - vol 5 no 3 by Being Better

Being

Vol 5 . No 3

Stuff that just might make your life better

better

Top ways to empower your life Get out of debt

Yes, you can Create cool

Subway Art inexpensively

Abortion made so much sense.

How I made the most powerful decision of my life.

Dads

Who needs â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;em?

Take this magazine with you. When youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re done, give it away.

Being

better

Being Better is created to help you achieve the life God wants for you. We hope to inspire you to seek the best life you can have, and that happens when you include God. For those who don’t know how to do that or why, we hope we can help. Ultimately, we want to help you find Jesus in a way that doesn’t freak you out. God just wants to hang out with you...(yes, you) and when you let Him, your life really will be better. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD...” Jeremiah 29:13-14 If you want to find out more about God, you just need to start looking for Him. We’ll help. You can start at our website or one of the others listed in this issue. Also, find a great Bible-believing church in your area and go. Read the Bible.

Being Better is published four times a year. Subscribe for $6.99 per year or to buy in bulk quantities, go to our website. To contact us for any reason: Being Better Magazine 221 31st Street Sioux City, IA 51104 www.BeingBetterMagazine.com

Contents 5

Nuggets of Wisdom: Dads . Who needs ‘em? .. . . . . . . . . . 4 How To: Subway art. . . 5 Home & Family: Get out of debt. ...........6 Love, it shouldn’t suck. . . . . . . . 8 Top 5: Ways to empower your life . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Health & Fitness: . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Food focus. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 When God shows up. . . . . . . . . . . 12 Answers. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 A Better Way: To get motivated. . . 18

©2015 B eing Better Magazine. Please ask publisher’s permission before using content for other public purposes. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Cover: Empowered Woman © Andresr l Shutterstock.com

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Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

The Best Girl holding fingers up © Forster Forest | Shutterstock.com

Stuff

Best Comeback

Little Jack’s mother sent him off to bed reminding him to say his prayers. With hands folded, Jack knelt beside his bed. His mother said, “Jackie, I can’t hear you.” Little Jack replied, “I wasn’t talking to you.”

Best Book

Why don’t relationships work out? Because we are doing it all wrong. In Timothy Keller’s book The Meaning of Marriage (which his wife Kathy helped him write) Tim tells us how to do it right...and it makes so much sense. Whether you are married, want to be someday, or just want to see what your relationship is missing, get this book. When you open it, open your mind and heart to what could be the solution to having the intimate relationship you’ve always wanted.

Best Snack

These all-natural, Dark Chocolate Oven-Roasted Almonds are dusted with real cocoa blended with a bit of sugar and naturally no-calorie stevia making them a delicious snack packed with nutrition. Almonds are naturally loaded with vitamin E, fiber, and 5 g of protein and other good-for-your-health stuff.

Best Quote “If your dreams do not scare you they are not big enough.” -Ellen Johnson Surleaf (First female head of state in Africa)

Best Funny Most common lies ever told: “I didn’t do it.” “I’m fine.” “I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions.”

Best Random Info

Just as you are left or right handed, you have a dominant eye. To find out which eye rules, form a triangle with your fingers. Find an object across the room and extend your arms. With both eyes open, center the object in your triangle. Now close one eye and view the object. Switch. Whichever eye keeps the object most centered is your dominate eye. www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

NUGGETS OF WISDOM

Dads

Who needs ‘em?

“This is my most important role. If I fail at this, I fail at everything.” ― Mark Wahlberg

number of years ago, Kruger National Park and game reserve in South Africa had too many elephants and had to thin the herd. Some females, youngsters, and juvenile males were moved to another reserve. Soon, the new park had a big problem. The juvenile bulls were terrorizing and killing other animals. Not typical elephant behavior. The problem got even worse when the young bulls came into “musth” when their testosterone rises and they look for a mate. Somebody understood the problem and brought in some adult males. They quickly disciplined the bad behavior and exampled how a proper bull elephant behaves. Within a few months, all the behavioral problems had stopped. Apparently, for elephants, dads are important. For us humans, dads are important too. For homes without dads, statistics are not on your side. Ask those struggling with almost any issue (promiscuity, behavioral issues, drug and alcohol abuse, criminal activity) and you’ll find many without active dads. One guy who spent time in prison estimated 80% of the people he met in prison had absent fathers. When teenagers began victimizing people in a city park, the community was outraged. They demanded police action. Dr. Wade Horn, then President

of the National Fatherhood Initiative asked a more piercing question. “Where have all the fathers gone?” Adding police made the community feel better but it didn’t solve the problem. It didn’t help the teenagers. They were just like the young elephants who needed someone to show them how to act. Someone they respected enough to listen to─and wanted to be like. Studies show that the best scenario for producing happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids is to have both a mom and a dad on board. A single mom was asked why her baby’s father wasn’t helping raise their child. The baby’s dad told her, “You’re a perfect mother so I don’t need to worry about her at all.” As perfect as mothers try to be on their own, society (and kids) will tell you who needs a dad. We all do. A critical element of fatherhood is that it reflects on how we imagine God to be. God is not a Father who abandons his children. Follow his example...it is a life-giving investment for us all. Bb From the Bible: “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.” Psalm 27:10

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

Elephant © Chris Fourie | Dreamstime.com

How to make subway art Subway art can also be called Typography Art. We’re adding words, quotes, sayings, or slogans, to something decorative, artistic, or useful.

It’s ridiculously easy. 1. Find the words

We used a computer art program to create our sayings. Your art needs to be the exact size of whatever you are going to put it on. You can download any of our PDFs from our website (see below).

2. Go to print

We emailed our PDF to our local office printing store and asked for an engineer’s blueprint. You can create your file to be white text on black or black on white. These only run a few dollars.

3. Be outside the box

We purchased the box and the small sign from a second-hand store for a couple of bucks, sanded them and gave them two coats of black spray paint. For the wall art, simply create a wood frame using 1” pieces of wood and a piece of plywood cut to size (ours is 18” x 24”h), then paint it black. Detailed frame construction info and our pdfs at www.beingbettermagazine.com - click Issue Extras.

Find out your friend’s favorite saying, quote, or Bible verse to create a personalized gift for just a few bucks!

4. Stick it

Using a can of spray adhesive, coat the surface of your box, frame, or sign. Line up the paper with one edge and carefully smooth the paper over the adhesive. Let dry. Tip: For larger pieces, have someone help you and only glue half at a time. Roll up the paper then position the top edge. Holding the top in place, spray adhesive on the bottom half of the frame, then unroll the paper. Repeat for the top half.

www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

H O M E & F A M I LY

Get outof debt

by Jeff Edgar

Stop being chained down by debt. Free yourself. When we owe people, they own a part of us, our time, our focus and our energy. We are forced to pay a certain amount each month to the credit card company, the car dealership, the mortgage company, and on and on. We wonder what’s happened to our financial freedom.

e are constantly bombarded with all the attractive offers to “spend now and pay later.” The result is we are accumulating a mountain of debt. Those offers of six months with no interest seem too good to pass up. We get to buy stuff now with somebody else’s money. The reality is if we were disciplined enough to save to pay it off six months down the road, we could just save it up in the first place. The bottom line is debt makes us a slave and limits our freedom. In the past, a debtor who couldn’t pay up faced either prison or was made a slave. The consequences of debt remain the same today. Debt enslaves us to someone else, usually to someone we have no relationship with, some impersonal financial organization who just sees us as another number to collect from. When we choose not to exercise self-control, we are no longer in control.

From the Bible “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.” Proverbs 2:27

If you’re ready to regain your personal financial freedom and control, you can.

1. Stop incurring new debt.

Yes, it’s easier said than done. I know the key to losing weight is to eat less but when that rack of ribs is in front of me with the delicious sauce, I just can’t help myself. But, we have to reach a point when we say enough is enough. How to do it: The first step is to keep from going further into debt. Remove the temptation: Stay off shopping sites and out of the mall. Do something else. Don’t daydream about what you could buy, but what you could do to get out of

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

You can do it

Fin din g extra money

debt. Stop using credit cards and only pay in cash. When it is harder to spend money, you won’t spend as much.

2. Set up an emergency fund.

“Most of the things we buy are wants. And we call them needs, but they’re wants.” -Dave Ramsey

Debt ladies illustration © Rick Zwirn

Life happens, jobs cease, cars break down, sickness comes, roofs leak. Don’t let a financial emergency cause you to go further into debt. Before you do anything else, protect yourself by setting up an emergency fund.

How to do it: Start by putting away $100 as fast as you can. Then, build to $1000 with your ultimate goal of three months’ worth of expenses set aside for life’s emergencies.

Find big money

3. Create a debt repayment plan.

This is perhaps the most powerful thing you can do. This gives you the emotional victory to keep your motivation running high. How to do it: Face reality and list all your debts from smallest to largest (don’t worry about interest rates). Pay the minimums on all your debts except the debt that you owe the least on. Pay extra toward that debt each month. When that lowest debt is off the books, roll the amount you were paying into the next smallest debt.

Example: If your bill with the lowest balance is $50 per month, pay that + $20 extra (or whatever you came up with) until it is paid off. Then, add that extra $70 toward the next bill. Repeat until all of them are paid off.

4. Find an accountability partner.

Having someone hold you accountable dramatically increases your chance for success. How to do it: If you are married, agree together to attack this issue. Or, find a friend who needs to do the same.

f what we really want is financial freedom then we need to make some changes. Here are some ways to free up some cash. Use the extra you save here to build your emergency fund and pay off debt. A $3,000 car can get you from A to B as well as a $30,000 car. Can you live elsewhere cheaper? Could you get a roommate to share expenses? Potential $: $100s each month.

Don’t eat your money

Use coupons, buy generic, and don’t buy what you are not absolutely sure you’ll use each week. Limit eating out, buy fewer coffees and snacks. Potential $: $20+ week

Decide to be different

Find joy in getting out of debt. For purchases you truly need, challenge yourself to find a way to get them free or cheaper. Barter, shop consignment shops, and trade. Potential $: $20+ week Partnering with a financial coach adds an additional level of accountability. A support system will encourage and motivate you to keep the end goal in mind: Regaining your personal freedom and control. Jeff Edgar is a personal financial life coach helping people

make wise choices with the money they have. Contact him at www.engedifinancial.com. “Securities & Investment Advice offered through G.A. Repple & Company A Registered Broker/Dealer and Investment Advisor, Member FINRA & SIPC, (407) 339-9090”

www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

Love

...it shouldn’t suck

ove is supposed to be this wonderful thing. It starts out all tingly but plunges into prickly. People move in together, and suddenly someone’s boxer shorts and video games are piled up on the lawn. People take the long walk down the aisle, say “I do,” and then decide they don’t. Why doesn’t love last? Why does love suck? It doesn’t. We’re just doing it wrong. Even given the current divorce rate, statistics show that people who stay married are happier, more stable, and financially better off. Society and children thrive best when people are married. Why we get married is the key. Today, our culture paints a picture that says if you are in love, your spouse will support, encourage, and nurture you, always agree with you, never let themselves go, and of course, will cuddle after sex and make you breakfast. Here’s the reality - no one can fulfill every need you have. It’s not their job. If they did fill all your needs, they would not be your partner, they’d be your god. That would be bad for two reasons:

1) If they leave or die you’d be sunk. 2) You wouldn’t think you needed Jesus and you’d miss everything. Love shouldn’t suck but if we see it as a drain it will. We view love from a “give and get” mentality. We’ll hang in there as long as our needs are being met and their needs are not too draining. If our tub is continually being filled, okay. But if we feel our bath is running dry, we get out. Interviewing divorced couples, a researcher saw clearly that the one thing that led to relational disaster was self-centeredness. Unfortunately, when one person became self-centered, the other responded with the same behavior. Love is supposed to be like a waterfall, not a drain. God saw what complete screw ups we were and he could have walked away. But he chooses to love us...even while we’re still messed up. The Bible says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” It’s not about what we do, but who God is. So true love is pouring out what we have for someone else solely for their benefit. Because they need it. This means lavishing our time, attention, resources, and emotions on them. This is where lasting relationships are born. Jesus said, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” When we learn to love well, we lay down our lives and die to our selfishness. We fight for love when we are justified to walk away, love when they are unlovable, expect the best when the worst is happening, and focus on what we could give instead of what we aren’t getting. The power to love well is ours. It is found by finding God. Love doesn’t suck. It pours and overflows.

To find out more about God’s love and how Jesus saves us, read the Bible, find a local, Bible-believing Christian church, check out pgs 12-17 and our website - click Change your Life.

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

TOP

ways to empower your life

Drain © YuryZap l Shutterstock.com . Empowered Woman © Andresr l Shutterstock.com

ld]

[Note to wor

I’m going to be unstoppable!

ant to feel strong, courageous, unafraid, and ready for life? Here are five must haves to empower you.

1. Do rewarding work

How you spend the majority of your time is crucial. Figure out what you are passionate about and what your strengths are. You may need to have a job just to make money but if it’s not what gets you up in the morning it should only be temporary. Find a way to put your strengths to use more often and perhaps even earn a living using them. Good resource: 48 Days to the Work you Love book by Dan Miller

Pursue financial peace

If you are just getting by, are in debt, and have little to no savings you know how stressful financial unrest is. Even if you have little, once you understand basic principles you’ll be able to have your money work for you, instead of feeling like it’s in control of you. Good resource: How to Have More Than Enough book by Dave Ramsey.

3. Get connected...offline

You need real friends and you need to feel like you are part of something. Meet face to face. Join groups

that do something meaningful. Get involved at church. Volunteer where you can use your talents and strengths. Good resource: Go to BeingBetterMagazine.com and click Issue Extras for a list of 10 volunteer ideas to get you started.

4. Invest in your well-being

If you want to be able to do almost anything in this world you have to be healthy. To start, eat good foods, exercise 30 minutes 5 days a week, and get 7-8 hrs of sleep. To improve mental and emotional wellness, choose books, videos, movies, and social sites that better your mind, heart, and soul. Good resource: Well Being book by Tom Rath & Jim Harter

5. Connect with God

Even if you get all the other four aspects tackled, you’ll never quite feel complete. Once you and God are in a good place, you will be amazed how empowered you truly are. Good resources: Pray (talk to God), join a Bible study or Christian church group, and see page 17.

Want a FREE Bible?

www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

H E A LT H & F I T N E S S

Laughter “Laughter is the best medicine.”

Crazy state laws.

In California, it is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Also, no vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. In Colorado, boulders may not be rolled on city property.

[

In Iowa, one-armed piano players must perform for free.

Feed your bones

You need around 1,000 mg of calcium each day for bone health. Studies show that milk is definitely a rock star, but so are sardines which are loaded with calcium and vitamin D too. Dark leafy greens have calcium plus vitamin K that help increase bone density.

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In Tennessee, it is legal to gather and consume roadkill. It is not legal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

Brain Bender

Which bone is which? Write each letter next to the correct name. Answers pg 17.

A B

A good way to stress

In order to force bones to make new cells and build their density you need to put some stress on them. You can do some weight training, use kettlebells, or jumprope but you can also just use your own body weight. Try some yoga, Tai Chi, swim, or just walk.

In Arkansas, school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Don’t be a loser

Some foods can either interfere with calcium absorption or make your body lose it. Some culprits are salt, alcohol, coffee, and colas.

[

In Michigan, it is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.

D E

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1. Patella__ 2. Mandible__ 3. Clavicle__ 4. Humerus__ 5. Sternum__ 6. Femer__ 7. Tibia__ F

Milk girl © Djomas l Shutterstock.com . Skeleton © Ralf Juergen Kraft l Shutterstock.com .

Body of Knowledge

Food focus

Crazy Crazy-Healthy

Kale

Kale is one of the healthiest vegetables around. Kale contains lutein which helps keep eyes and vision healthy. It’s packed with antioxidants and other nutrients and has a full day’s supply of Vitamin A, C, & K and is calcium packed. It also has anti-inflammatory nutrients, antioxidants, fiber, Omega-3s, and cancer-preventing phytonutrients. Yeah, it’s crazy healthy. Kale chips © Brent Hofacker l Shutterstock.com . Kale smoothie © Zoeytoja l Shutterstock.com . Ornamental Kale courtesy of Iowa State Extension office.

Kale facts

• Ornamental kale is grown as a decorative garden plant. • Kale belongs to the same family as cabbage, collards, and Brussels sprouts. • Kale comes in a variety of colors─ green, white, purple, or bluish green.

Make kale chips (top). Remove the ribs, wash and cut into pieces. Toss with 2 T olive oil and sea salt. Bake at 275o 10 min. Turn over and bake another 10 min or until crisp. A British group crossbred Brussels sprouts and kale into a cute little veggie called “kalettes,” which look like tiny cabbages but taste nutty.

Fruity Kale Smoothie Ingredients:

1 cup chopped kale 1 cup baby spinach 1 cup frozen fruit (like pineapple & mango) chunks 1 ripe banana 1/2 cup water

Serves: 1 Cal: 162 • Fat: 1 g Carbs: 44 g • Fiber: 8 g Protein: 5 g Sodium 25 mg

Directions: Combine all ingredients in a blender. Blend until smooth. Serve immediately. Yep, it’s delicious! www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

Powerful WHEN GOD SHOWS UP

A b o r t i o n

P a r e n t i n g

A d o p t i o n

How I made the most

decision of my life by Shannon Taylor

Sometimes, you can’t do what makes sense. Sometimes, smart people don’t know what’s best. Sometimes your best life comes from the hardest decisions.

t 14, I was told that I couldn’t get pregnant due to some problems with my reproductive organs. I was somewhat sad but life went on. When I was 20, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and prescribed medication to help me cope with life. My psychiatrist insisted I be on birth control to take the medicine

as it irrefutably causes birth defects. I planned to take care of this but I wasn’t in any hurry. I had a boyfriend, but I couldn’t get pregnant, and I had other things to do like “hang out.” I put it off, but my mom was relentless and I finally made an appointment to get an IUD. Waiting for the procedure, I needed to use the restroom. As I was going in, a nurse handed me a cup to pee in. I did and went back to my room. Shortly, a nurse came in and said they believed I was pregnant so the procedure was on hold for the moment. I was confused, but my doctor appeared and said there was no way I could be pregnant, but would confirm that with a blood test.

Bad news beyond all bad news

The test verified that I was, in fact, pregnant. I immediately felt faint and I couldn’t process what was going on. After further examination, my doctor explained that my baby was going to be

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

How to know for sure Shannon Taylor © Rebecca J. Ryan . Doctor and patient © wavebreakmedia | Shutterstock.com . Mother and child courtesy Heartbeat International . Ultrasound © Rus Limon | Shutterstock.com

An unplanned pregnancy is a big deal. Take a breath and start here.

First things first

How to Choose PARENTING

Realize that parenting is filled with ups and downs. Parenting is living a life focused on loving someone unconditionally and there is no greater reward. Your decision to parent well will help you decide what other life goals need to be met and can fuel your determination to reach them like nothing else. born with severe birth defects...if it even lived to be born...and if so, it would not have a very long life expectancy. She showed me horrible pictures of halfformed babies with no foreheads, holes in their skulls, and facial and body deformities. There could be severe internal complications as well. She assured me that my baby had no chance. It was suggested I terminate the pregnancy. My mom had warned me. She had stressed the awful defects. Now the pictures brought life to her words. The thought of spending my life raising a family with my boyfriend wasn’t something I was prepared to do. How would I cope with a pregnancy full of complications? Why hadn’t I listened and gotten the birth control? My boyfriend’s reaction was disbelief. He never thought this could happen. Our relationship soon ended because it wasn’t built on anything lasting. I knew the doctor meant well telling me to terminate my pregnancy but, I didn’t want to believe that abortion was my only option. I just kept thinking...“What if they’re wrong?” I rejected the idea that there was only one choice. This was my life. My baby. I made a choice. I would not have an abortion.

Option Line experts say the first step is to know for sure if you’re pregnant. Option Line is a pregnancy support help line with connections to 1500 pregnancy help centers across the country. They offer the following advice:

Don’t jump to conclusions

Many young women assume they are pregnant because they missed a period. There are lots of reasons you can miss it: stress, diet, exercise, or something else. You need to have a test to be sure.

When to test

A good rule of thumb is to do your pregnancy test on the first day after a missed period. If your period is irregular, or you don’t know when to expect it, wait 17 days after you’ve had sex to take the test.

The best test

You can buy a pregnancy test at the store or contact one of Option Line’s pregnancy centers to get a free test. Generally you’ll need an ultrasound as a confirmation. The ultrasound can also tell you if your pregnancy is viable (one that is capable of developing under normal conditions) and give you an estimate of how far along you are. Their centers will do these for free as well. For a center near you go to optionline.org.

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WHEN GOD SHOWS UP Pregnancy help centers, like the one Shannon went to, are located across the country. They have caring people who will listen, clarify options, provide insight, and offer resources to help you. Getting all the facts gives you time to consider your options so you can make the best decision for your life. To find a center near you, connect with Option Line (see back cover).

Shannon found help at Her Health Women’s Center in Sioux City, IA

My family and my best friend were supportive, but there was so much I was going to have to face and I was extremely overwhelmed. I had no financial help from my ex and my family didn’t have a lot. I was scared for my baby and how I would cope with being a mother to a special needs child. I was worried about how bad things were really going to be. I was afraid I might actually miscarry any minute. On top of these things, I found out the room I was renting from friends was going to be needed as they were expecting twins! I already worked a full-time job plus one night a week at another. I picked up a third and just dug my heels in trying to get through day by day. My baby was depending on me.

Finding some real help

A friend told me about an organization that would give me stuff for my baby and I went and checked it out. Every little bit helps! When I went to Her Health Women’s Center, I met some of the nicest women I’ve ever known. They immediately went to work on my situation. They had a program where you participate in classes on child care and earn points to spend in their baby closet. They listened to my concerns, gave me ultrasounds, checked the baby’s

heartbeat, prayed with me, encouraged me, and were there for me on a level that my family and friends couldn’t be. With them, I took a firm grasp on hope and began to inventory my personal life as they helped bring sanity to my daily life. I started to make changes in my activities, people I hung out with, and how I viewed life in general. My family suggested I move back home. I gladly accepted and thanked God for second chances. I felt empowered, and motivated like never before. I began to get my life on track. But...

Trouble was brewing

At 21 weeks, I went into early labor. At the hospital, the doctor said it wasn’t “protocol to try and stop the contractions before 24 weeks or save the tissue.” She said they would “assist me in delivering the tissue.” My mom knew that was terminating my baby’s life. She called my brother who phoned our church and explained our need for prayer. The prayer chain was immediately activated. My mom told the hospital staff that we needed a minute. We asked God The March of Dimes reports as many as half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage─ most often before a woman even knows she’s pregnant. 80% of miscarriages occur in the first 3 months.

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

Just the facts - Adoption Mom with daughter and Dad kissing mom images courtesy Bethany Christian Services

How to Choose ADOPTION You’ll need to make a courageous and selfless choice to put your baby’s needs first. It does not mean that you “give up” your baby, but that you entrust her to adoptive parents and that you choose the type of adoption that is best. to intervene and save my baby and we prayed for me to trust God.

My biggest mistake

As we prayed, I realized at the beginning of all this I’d asked God to save my baby. At 12 weeks the ultrasound had shown that despite the gruesome prognosis, she was developing perfectly. Shortly after that, stuff began to get in the way of my relationship with God and He fell to the back burner. Here I was, nine weeks later, once again begging for His help. I knew that I’d been wrong in several things and I asked God to forgive me for taking Him for granted and to have mercy on me and my baby. I promised Him that no matter what the outcome, I would never treat Him so casually again. My mom stepped out when my brother called and people came in and started prepping me. I was crying so hard, not knowing what to do...and that’s...

Different types of adoption are available so you can choose what works best for your situation. Open Adoption You will have ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive family throughout and after the adoption takes place. Semi-Open Adoption Allows you to have limited communication with your child and the adoptive family. You can receive letters and photos of your child but the communication between you and the family is mediated by an agency or a third party. Closed Adoption Means there is no contact with the adoptive parents before, during, or after your pregnancy. You also won’t receive photos or letters or have any communication with your child as he or she grows up.

What else

Bethany Christian Services, a leader in adoption and pregnancy support, says you can even choose the family for your baby if you like. Most agencies can provide assistance with medical and living expenses while making adoption plans.

When God showed up

My mom came bustling in with a nurse that she’d met in the hall who had taken matters into her own hands. She had called Avera McKennan Hospital, 90 miles away, as she knew their protocol allowed for stopping contractions at any point during the pregnancy. She had an ambulance pulling up and paramedics to transport me. I was unsettled www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

WHEN GOD SHOWS UP Shannon and her daughter who she named after the hospital who opened the door to a miracle ─ Avera McKennan.

“We are a living example that when everything is against you, God is with you.”

What I learned

When I asked God to forgive me for dismissing Him from my life after He helped me, I told Him that if He saved my baby, I would dedicate her to Him and raise her as He desired. Plus, I’d share her story with as many people as possible. It didn’t matter to me if she had any defects or not. All that mattered is that she lived. Today, God is a part of my everyday life. I need Him to help me with everything, not just the hard parts. We are a living example that when everything is against you, God is with you.

Photos by Rebecca J Ryan

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?” Romans 8:31

Photos by Rebecca J. Ryan - Facebook at Shots by Becca Photography

by the quick turn of events but I talked to God and felt peace wash over me. I was asleep in the ambulance within minutes. Once we arrived, they stopped my contractions and a specialist that was due to fly back to the East Coast that night, agreed to stay and perform surgery on me that could save my baby’s life. Well, my baby, that the other doctors called tissue, was strong enough to kick through the stitches that were sewn into my cervix to keep her in there...twice! Once they were solid and holding, I was put on bed rest in the hospital until she was ready to be born.

They were hoping my little one would wait another three weeks at least. Well, in one week, I was doing so well, they sent me home, although still on complete bed rest. As the weeks went by, they allowed me to move around a bit. By the time I was 26 weeks, I was on very few restrictions. The stitches were removed from my cervix at 36 weeks and I continued to carry my amazing bundle another three weeks! At 39 weeks, I gave birth to a completely normal and beautiful baby girl that I named Avera McKennan after the hospital that saved her life.

Here’s how you can

Get right with God

Questions & Answers

Q A

What would you have done if your mom and brother weren’t there to help? I believe God would have placed the right people in my life to figure things out because He knew my desire to get right with Him was real.

Don’t you regret giving up everything to be a mom? I miss being able to hang out or travel on a whim, but the person I was and the life I lived isn’t who I am anymore. It wasn’t a life that I wanted to continue. I’m happy in Christ, now.

Q A

What do you mean that the women at the pregnancy help center were “there for me in a way my family and friends couldn’t be?” I could talk to them freely about decisions I was contemplating because I wasn’t worried about what they would think of me. They could give unbiased feedback because they didn’t know anyone in my life or personal connections with me. I could talk about anything. I never felt judged. Never once did I feel as though I was just any client. They always made me feel special. Shannon’s perfect baby girl at one day old. Answers:

Pg 10, Brain Bender: 1. Patella F; 2. Mandible A; 3. Clavicle B; 4. Humerus D; 5. Sternum C; 6. Femer E; 7. Tibia G

1. God loves you.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

2. Sin separates us from God.

None of us are good enough. We can’t be close to God because we sin. “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” Romans 3:23

3. God made a way. He sent Jesus.

We could never pay enough to cover our sins, so God sent Jesus to pay for us. He saves us so we can live. “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9

4. Trust Jesus to lead you.

Commit to live your life with Jesus and it will be more than you imagined! Find a church, study the Bible, talk to Jesus, and do life with other believers. “ I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 (ESV) Here is a prayer if you want to start your life with Jesus: Dear God, please forgive me for my sins. I need you. I believe that you sent Jesus to die for me so I can be made right with you. I believe that you raised Him from the dead, and that he is alive with you now...just as I will be alive with you when I die. Jesus, I want to follow you. Help me live the way you want me to. Change me and lead me. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. To find out more about changing your life with God, go to our website www.beingbettermagazine.com and click Change your life.

www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

A Better Way

to get

ometimes you get stuck in a rut. Maybe you just don’t think you are good enough...figure big things don’t happen to people like you. If that’s the case, you need to hear from others who thought the same way, had

Opinions

Address

Albert Einstein’s teachers thought he was lazy and wouldn’t make anything of himself. Author J.K. Rowling’s first novel was rejected a dozen times. Stephen King’s was rejected 30 times.

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” Mary Kay Ash “My mother always taught me never to look back in regret but to move on to the next thing. The amount of time people waste dwelling on failures rather than putting that energy into another project, always amazes me.” Richard Branson, billionaire entrepreneur.

a few setbacks, major failures, and every reason to quit or not try. They are shining examples of what happens when you persevere despite the odds. Find your strength in their stories and decide what you will conquer in this life.

Funny men Jim Carrey and Tyler Perry were both homeless at one point in their lives. “When I was growing up, my dad would encourage my brother and I to fail. We would be sitting at the dinner table and he would ask, ‘So what did you guys fail at this week?’ If we didn’t have something to contribute, he would be disappointed. When I did fail at something, he’d high-five me. What I didn’t realize at the time was that he was completely reframing my definition of failure at a young age. To me, failure means not trying; failure isn’t the outcome. If I have to look at myself in the mirror and say, ‘I didn’t try that because I was scared,’ that is failure.” Sara Blakely, Spanx founder

Circumstances Oprah Winfrey grew up poor, was abused, and had her baby die, all before she was 15. Charlize Theron witnessed her mother kill her alcoholic father.

Being Better Magazine | Vol. 5, No. 3

encour aged motivated inspired J.K. Rowling and Charlize Theron © Everett Collection | Shutterstock.com . Bethany Hamilton © Brian A. Witkin | Shutterstock.com . Illustrations by Rick Zwirn.

Failures Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before creating the light bulb. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison “You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” Johnny Cash “The very first company I started failed with a great bang. The second one failed a little bit less, but still failed. The third one, you know, proper failed, but it was kind of okay. I recovered quickly. Number four almost didn’t fail. It still didn’t really feel great, but it did okay. Number five was PayPal.” Max Levchin, former PayPal CTO “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.” Steve Jobs

Setbacks No record label would sign Jay-Z. Steven Spielberg was rejected by the University of Southern California (USC) School of Cinema Arts twice. Pro-surfer Bethany Hamilton had her arm bitten off by a shark.

Health Loren Brill, started baking when she was diagnosed with cancer. Today, her award winning cookies drive her thriving business. SweetLorens.com Franklin Roosevelt became partially paralyzed at 39. “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain “One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” Andre Gide, Nobel prize winner.

www.beingbettermagazine.com | Vol. 5, No. 3

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