BEmpower Women Edition #1

BE mpower THE MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN February - March 2022

HOW TO DRESS FOR SUCCESS

Having a professional image can boost your chances for work success,

WOMEN WHO EMPOWER 5 Benefits of Exercise for Women

PROUD TO BE A HORMONAL WOMAN!

TABLE OF CONTENTS 04 Women Who Empower 06 Fashion & Beauty 12 Nutrition and Fitness 20 Women's Health 30 Business & Professional 44 Female Sexuality 48 Emotional Health 62 Women Empowerment 68 Coaching & Lifestyle 71 Family & Relationship 81 Healing with Energy 84 Horoscope

787.404.4355 | bempowerwomen@gmail.com www.familysecrethelpers.com/

Editor's Message Nancy Rivera, President of Family Secret Helpers - Founder of their Projects Master Coach & NLP -Motivator- Author - Host & Producer of Podcast & TV -Events

First of all, I want to thank this group of women who agreed to be part of this new project, without them this would not have succeeded. This magazine was created with you in mind, woman.

I want to dedicate this magazine to all women who at some point have felt undervalued, mistreated, marginalized, and stuck in a routine. Women who feel that they belong to everyone. Women who need to scream and say enough. Women who are mothers, but who are full of dreams. Women who are wives, professionals, and businesswomen.

But, above all, I want to dedicate this magazine to ALL THE WOMEN WHO DARE TO LIVE THE LIFE THEY HAVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF...

If you still haven't gotten to that point, don't worry, I'm sure we're going to inject you with the positive vibe and you will... You are steps away from transforming yourself and being a new YOU… Remember that in addition to this magazine we also have a podcast called BEmpower Women, the Talk Show. And remember to follow the amazing women who are part of this project.

Thanks for your support! Enjoy!

W ith love,

Women Who Empower

Supporting Your Employees Brooke Mitchke-Downs Guest Columnist

During the Great Resignation.

Employees need more than money and benefits, they need real support.

As 2021 drew to a close a few things became crystal clear. The most important is people are done working in the same toxic environments they did in 2019. Hundreds of jobs are posted on sites like Indeed daily as people leave and strike out on their own. So what does all this mean for the women who own small businesses? How do stand out in the right way in a sea of new businesses? And how do we keep our current employees or hire new ones? Two words, Customer Service. I know. I know. Please don’t roll your eyes and stop reading. I promise what I have to say can help you keep and gain employees in 2022.

Customer Service is way more than just giving customers what they want and handling issues. Customer service starts with how you treat your employees. Even if you can’t currently afford to give them six-figure salaries right how you can give them a framework that helps them do the job. Employees need more than money and benefits, they need real support. I hear you saying “ That sounds great in theory but how do I do that in real life?"

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Brooke is a Customer Service Strategist running her own firm Mitchke-Downs Strategies

Start by making sure every employee knows what they can and can’t do to solve a customer’s issue.

If you have clear ideas of how you want employees to greet your customer or things this is the time to get that in order too. Then put it in writing to create your Customer Service Policy. Bonus points if you have a staff meeting to include everyone’s input. It is amazing the power a short flow chart or document posted in the break room or in an employee’s handbook can have on morale. It also causes other positive chain reactions. A firm policy allows your employees to solve issues without running to you or other management every single time and builds their confidence. Which frees up your time to do other things. Honestly think of how much more time you would have if everyone was out there solving basic issues? When an employee knows the policy will be upheld it gives everyone a sense of safety in their place in the business. This usually leads to pride in the work they are doing.

Finally, it gives them firm ground to stand on when a Karen or Richard start to push for their way and they tend to take the insults less personally. Will this end all the issue escalations in your business… sadly no. But If you do this you will see a marked decrease. It is amazing the power a short flow chart or document posted in the break room or in an employee’s handbook can have on morale.

Before you run off and start building there are a few things you should do so this works. Treat your Customer Service Policy as a living document and update it every quarter for the first 2 years and then every year after. Keeping a log of issues and how they were handled and anything that came up but was not covered will help make that easier. Make sure you can follow through on anything you put in your policy. Having to backpedal with a customer can shake your employees' confidence in the policy. So be honest and tell them if you are going to try an option before making it permanent and have a place for employees to anonymously give you feedback on what is and isn’t working with the Customer Service Policy.

The time and effort you put into building a Customer Service Policy will pay off by setting your business apart not only with customers but with future employees. Are you going to create a Customer Service Policy for your business?

Fashion & Beauty

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How to Dress for Success

Sinaya Sappleton Corporate Wardrobe Style Coach

@Coco Styles

Growing up in New York City had its benefits. Especially when it came to Fashion. Men and women were both very stylish and creative when it came to their attire and when it came to dressing for success.

Having a professional image can boost your chances for work success, not having one can lead to disaster. The clothes you choose to wear can affect not only how others see you but also how you feel.

When it comes to moving up the corporate ladder, people are often rejected for the job due to their attire and image. It sucks but, how you show up in the world is how people see you. If you don't present a professional image, you’ll most likely be overlooked for that position and who wants that.

And let me clear this boring work clothes stigma up, most companies have moved to a Business Casual dress code, which allows an employee to express themselves through their style a bit more so, you can get creative while keeping a professional image.

Here are a few tips on how you can stay stylish and dress for success at any age.

WEAR PROFESSIONAL & CONSERVATIVE CLOTHES

Women have to be conscious of the length of skirts, the fit of pants, and the height of the heels they wear. In a workplace, it is very important to always keep a professional image, and heels and skirts that are inappropriate can do more damage than good for when you are ready to move up the ladder. Remember you are a representation of the company you work for when you are on the clock.

Here is a list of tips and wardrobe essentials every woman in business should follow.

QUICK TIPS

All skirts and dresses should be knee-length or longer Avoid wearing blouses or sweaters that are transparent Stay away from tight-fitting clothing Be conscious of low necklines Ensure tops are not revealing Avoid extremely high heels Skip cany clothing with logos (This includes designer bags) Do not wear expensive jewelry No outrageous nails Wear natural makeup

Coco Styles

PHOTO CREDIT: UNSPLASH

APPROPRIATE WOMEN’S ATTIRE

2 Piece Suits Sheath Dress Knee Length Skirts Trousers Blazers Long Cardigans Double/ Single Breasted Blazers Cashmere Sweaters Classic Button-ups Turtlenecks Blouses Trench Coat Wool Coats Wrap Coats Medium Heels Flats Block Heels WEAR NATURAL MAKEUP

Makeup is a girl's best friend! but, when it comes to working in the corporate world, you have to tone it down. No bright and loud colors on your lips or eyes and definitely no super long lashes. Keep it natural and you're good to go.

JEWELRY

Don't wear your expensive jewelry to work.

You risk losing it or just looking like a showoff. Remember, you're at work to do a job.

Keep it simple! Here are a few suggestions that won't draw attention.

Huggie Earrings Small Studs (They can be diamond) Small hoops Basic Rings (Possibly a Statement Ring depending on your title) Gold or Silver Watch Dainty necklace

PHOTO CREDIT: UNSPLASH

SHOES

We love heels ladies but, keep them at a max of 4 inches, do not go higher than that. You can wear flats that are stylish but not too much design. Again, it depends on your job's dress code, so always take a look at your company’s handbook or how others dress.

Medium Heels (Black and Nude) Flats Block Heels Ankle Boots Keep your heel height at a max of 4 inches. No need to go any higher in a professional setting.

To end this article, I would say start with your basic essentials and build from there. This is an easy way to ensure your wardrobe is full with the proper essentials for you to be able to go to work in style.

Happy dress for success day!

Coco Styles

Coco Styles www.cocostylesny.com

@cocostylesny

T H R E A D

O F

D O P A M I N E

Cozette Halvorsonr @noraboraofficial

The world of fashion and beauty is in a phase of bold colors. I like to reference it as dopamine dressing; wearing very bright and vivid colors that boost mood and confidence. While we’re still coming out of the darkness of the pandemic, it’s certainly a time to pull out those distinct pieces that have been pushed to the back of the closet and fearlessly rock them.

It’s a playful vibe and it allows for women to fully express themselves and their uniqueness.

Antiquated fashion trends need not be followed in this exciting time within the industry. With the use of colorful pieces, natural textures, and shine, a woman can effortlessly create a style that is unique to her. I’m thrilled to see women embrace their features and use their creativity to incorporate the latest trends with the pieces that provide them comfort.

If strong colors create an uneasy feeling, start small. Try an accessory first, then a shirt, and then a dress. While trying a new tone, be mindful and notice how you feel while wearing the chosen color. Does it make you feel comfortable, determined, or feminine? Is that the mood you want to feel? Colors and clothing do not change the worlds we each live in but they do evoke feelings within us. It is the way women feel in their skin and the confidence in their abilities that changes the world.

This is a time to freely mix playful and timeless. It is also an era of exchanging outdated fashion rules for personalized expression. For instance, white pants can be worn between Labor Day and Memorial Day and just so happen to look very sharp with a vivid colored blouse and coordinated shoes and accessories. As young girls, most of us women wore a lot of colors, and we can still wear bold shades in a very feminine way as adults.

Women continue to become more expressive, using bolder, brighter, and more graphic ways. I personally think this will be the most expressive period yet. Expressing oneself without boundaries is courageous… and it is absolutely ok.

Cozette Halvorsonr @noraboraofficial @cozettesavansa chat@nora-bora.com

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Nutrition and Fitness

Do you Understand the Real Meaning of Self-Care?

Alka Chopra, Registered Dietitian, Certified Diabetes Educator & Certified Intuitive Eating Counsellor

“I do a thing called ‘what I want”…….Unknown” The word “self-care” has taken on a very glamorous meaning. And that it is indulgent behavior. It’s a word that is thrown around often without understanding the real meaning. It is often characterized as a commodity that you would need to spend a lot of money on like massages, manicures, or even destination vacations. Yes, these activities might give someone temporary happiness but have no benefit in the long run. This is simply because self-care is much deeper than indulging in such activities. For some, self-care may sound like a luxury, but science proves it’s actually nonnegotiable.

The real definition of self-care is involving yourself in purposeful activities that are centered around your personal needs. You involve yourself in these activities on an ongoing basis in small increments, so you feel the impact of these in the long run. These activities become habits that are sustainable and ultimately it becomes a culture. In business, there is a concept called the Kaizen method that focuses on continuous improvement by making small changes one at a time. Within the realm of self-care changing small habits that are important to you will lead to larger benefits that can have a positive impact on your lives. To give you a real-life example: my self-care culture revolves around arts & crafts. When I started, I made hand-painted greeting cards that could be completed in 10-15 minutes with a minimum number of supplies. I kept doing it on a regular basis and adding more skills to my bucket and also increasing or decreasing the time depending upon what was going on in my life. As it stands today spending time with arts & crafts has now become a culture, it is my lifestyle.

The dimensions of wellness and how are they connected to self-care? When we talk about self-care in the real sense we are talking about wellness. And wellness has several components to it. It is impacted by our beliefs, interests, culture, and our life experiences. It needs to be conscious, selfdirected and evolving; holistic and multidimensional; positive and affirming, and inclusive. The core idea: you thrive as an individual. Generally speaking, there are 8 components of wellness:

Emotional/mental • Environmental • Financial • Intellectual • Occupational • Physical • Social • Spiritual

Now I do not want you to get overwhelmed seeing this list and thinking about how I can do all this!

Not to worry. The whole idea is to find a balance and start with something that is important to you and can be done with minimal interruption to your life. Of course, you do need to be intentional & focused but it is totally possible if you make a commitment to yourself. I am hoping when you understand these components Now let’s get into a bit more detail on understanding these components: Emotional/mental: is all about your feelings. It's about respecting them, appreciating them, and managing them in a constructive manner. The same goes for other people’s feelings. It also means having a positive overview of life even in the most challenging situation.

Environmental : component includes understanding and acknowledging how the environment impacts your health. This includes your social, natural & even the built environment around you. This component also takes into consideration some responsibilities you have as an individual to keep the environment safe & healthy.

Financial: The core of financial wellness is leading your life within your affordability. It means making informed financial investments for your long & short-term needs. It also means saving up for emergencies. All these decisions need to be personalized and match up with your personal needs & requirements.

Intellectual : A wonderful way to keep good mental health is with continuous learning.

Growing intellectually allows you to discover new talents. This leads to having a positive outlook towards life and navigating efficiently through challenging times.

Occupational : wellness is all about participating in activities whether at home or at work that make you happy and provide you with personal satisfaction. This also enriches your life and the lives of others around you.

Physical: wellness means taking care of the nutritional & physical needs of your body. Eating nutritionally balanced food & being physically active are all parts of physical wellness.

Social: Healthy relationships, friendships, and the company you live in impact your mental state. This further impacts the overall quality of life. With good social health, we are also in a better position to contribute to the community and that can be a very satisfying position to be in.

Spiritual : wellness means finding ways to find purpose, value & meaning in your life. To achieve spiritual wellness, you need to involve yourself in activities that align with your beliefs and values.

Now, if you review these components closely you will realize how all these components are closely related to the definition of self-care I had mentioned at the beginning of this article. The point is that you need to pay close attention to all these components for your wellbeing & quality of life. Of course, by no means there is an expectation of perfect balance. The goal is to try & achieve “personal harmony” and do what feels right to you. Each one of us have our priorities, we have different ways of doing things, different approaches, and outlook towards life. So really make your self-care system your own.

To support you in this journey I have created an online program called “One Week To Your Health” that teaches you how to make self-care a culture by mastering mini habits one week at a time. You can take a look at it here

Alka Chopra https://www.alkachopra.ca/

@alkachoprard

5 Benefits of Exercise for Women Jackie Kickish, Doctor of Physical Therapy and certified pregnancy and postpartum corrective exercise specialist

When it comes to exercise, many women feel like they have to do hours of cardio every day to see results. This can lead to a "why even bother" attitude toward exercise since most of us have extremely busy schedules, particularly mothers. Thankfully, this couldn't be farther from the truth! In fact, shorter bouts of exercise can be just as beneficial, if not more beneficial, as long ones.

Below, we will dive into five amazing benefits of exercise for women that anyone can start gaining today, no matter how busy they are or what time constraints they have. With the right mindset, there is a way.

The Benefits of Exercise

When it comes to the benefits of exercise, some are more obvious and well-known than others. Yet, the bottom line is that our bodies are made to move and exercising regularly helps us thrive in our daily lives. Here are just a few of the reasons that exercise is so great.

Improves Mood and Mental Health

Exercising releases endorphins, which help improve our mood and reduce the effects of stress, anxiety, and depression. With mood changes being major disruptors of sleep, weight management, and general quality of life, regular exercise is one of the best things we can do for our mental health.

In today's fast-paced (yet, often disconnected) world, this is the number one reason to make regular exercise a habit and avoid mental burnout.

Increases Energy

It’s easy to feel run down and constantly exhausted, regular exercise can help give us more energy throughout the day (even if it seems counterintuitive). This is especially true if the workouts are consistent and leave us feeling more energized overall, rather than drained. This is thanks to a boost in the body’s endurance, metabolism, and ability to sleep more soundly.

Overall, this equates to having more energy to do the things we love without feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted all the time!

Helps Build Muscle Strength

Adequate muscular strength and balance are important for so many reasons. This includes everything from being able to carry our children and groceries with ease to reducing the risk of injuries down the road. Strength training is one of the most efficient ways to improve muscle strength, with the added bonus of boosting bone density. Since women are four times more likely than men to develop osteoporosis, putting them at a higher risk for injuries in their fifties and beyond, this is crucial.

Strength training doesn't necessarily equate to pumping iron at the gym either. There are a lot of very functional ways we can strengthen our muscles- even at home.

Longevity and Reduces Risk of Chronic Diseases

Women who exercise regularly have a reduced risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. This is likely due to the combination of all of the other benefits we've listed above, plus other factors such as a reduction in the body’s inflammation. Exercise also helps keep our weight in check, which is another factor that contributes to a healthy lifespan.

When it comes to beginning an exercise routine, committing to short periods of activity for just ten to twenty minutes is significantly better than nothing at all. This can range from a walk around the block or stretching to dancing and high-intensity interval training. You'll be pleasantly surprised at how good it feels to get your body moving consistently!

If you're worried that you don't have time or the energy to go to the gym, working out at home can be just as beneficial. Then, you don't need expensive equipment or a membership (an extra viable option for busy moms).

Pain Reduction

Have Fun and Grace

Regular exercise has been shown to help reduce pain for conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, and chronic back pain (all common in women, particularly over forty). This is because exercise releases endorphins and promotes adequate circulation throughout the body to keep tissues supple and less likely to be injured. As a bonus, exercise can also help improve sleep quality, which is often a challenge for people who suffer from chronic pain.

Hopefully, by now the thought of exercising regularly doesn't seem overwhelming. Most importantly, find something that you find fun and will stick with so that exercise becomes a healthy habit, rather than another item on your never-ending "to-do" list. Remember to celebrate every day you get moving and the progress you are making.

After all, it's simply all about enjoying your life to the absolute fullest.

How You Can Get Started

Most of us tend to get in an "all or nothing" mindset, which can quickly lead to broken promises and forgotten goals. How many of us vow to start exercising, only to fall off the wagon within a few days or weeks? Instead, the focus should be on making small sustainable steps that fit our lifestyles and feel good.

Jackie Kickishwww.jackiekickish.com

@drjackiekickish

"May your goal today be to beat your best excuse.”

Women's Health

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Jacqueline Rose Menopause Coach, Women's Hormonal Health Specialist, Yoga for Women's HealthCertified Instructor.

PROUD TO BE A HORMONAL WOMAN For many women, the great achievements of the feminist movement have often meant having to deny the very thing that makes us women, our hormones!

When I came home from school crying at the age of 13 telling my mum that I had started my period, I was embarrassed and mildly traumatized, as are most teenage girls, by this new experience. But my mum gave me a hug and said “Congratulations, You have become a woman!” At that time all I really wanted was to remain a “girl”.

But with hindsight, I realized what a unique and special response that was. My mum had made sure that I understood this was a milestone to be celebrated. I have tried to respond to my daughters in the same way, as each of them in turn has started their periods. I try very hard (not always succeeding!) to be open with them about their menstrual cycles, making sure they feel comfortable and at peace with this new stage of their lives and the changes it brings. I want them to embrace whatever they are feeling, to acknowledge their changing emotions, and make space for their journey.

This is especially important to me as I see how modern society and media relate to periods. We have all seen the sanitary towel/tampon adverts where girls and women are told that they should carry with them all their regular activities (swimming, horse riding, wearing tight white jeans, staying out partying) despite their periods. Or the subliminal messages that girls and women get from magazines, places of work, medical professionals, social media, etc that they should “carry on like normal” regardless of their period. Your period should not limit you in any way!

And on the one hand, this should be a positive and empowering message. It is one of the gifts that the feminist movement has given women. One hundred years after the Suffragette movement succeeded in granting women voting rights in the UK, we should celebrate every movement towards women’s empowerment, equal rights, and equal opportunities for women.

However, I feel this movement has come at a price. For many women, achieving equal rights has often meant having to deny the very thing that makes us women – our periods, or more generally our natural hormonal cycle.

How many times have you been referred to (or referred to yourself!) as “being hormonal” in a derogatory way. How many times have your mood swings or emotional situation been “used against you” as being unprofessional?

How many times were you unable to fulfill a task because your PMS (pre-menstrual symptoms) limited you. How many times have you felt guilty or like a victim because you wanted to take it easy for the first days of your period?

We have been taught to either just deal/cope with our natural but “bothersome” menstrual cycle or in many cases ignore it/ pretend it’s not happening/ make it disappear altogether.

In doing so, we have denied the very thing that makes us women, the very essence of our femininity – our natural feminine hormonal cycle.

I want to propose a paradigm shift, a new way of relating to our menstrual cycle, hormones, periods, PMS, and other feminine life experiences.

My menstrual cycle, hormones, and periods are the very thing that makes me a woman. It has enabled me to become pregnant and give birth to my five children. It has allowed me to be in touch with my body, connect to it in a very visible way, monitor its natural ebbs and flows, and sense when something was wrong. My hormones have connected me to a deeper level of myself, my intuition, my authentic voice, and my feminine energy. This has helped and supported me professionally and personally.

Understanding my hormones and how they work have allowed me to get empowered with my own health journey, has allowed me to express compassion and nurture my children, to tap into unique creativity when decorating my home, or setting up my own business.

My personal experiences have taught me to embrace my menstrual cycle, not to fight against it or deny it.

And yes, that does mean a totally new approach as to how I relate to my periods, my hormonal cycles, how I respect them and honor them, and how I educate my daughters to relate to theirs.

It means that when they have their period I tell them it’s perfectly normal to NOT expect too much from yourself. You may feel more tired, you may not be in the mood to go out with friends, you may want to stay home, just drink hot tea and hang out in your room.

My daughters know that is what it means to respect their bodies.

Because this is just one small phase of a larger menstrual cycle. It is the calm before the hormonal and energy storm of the next phase. As they are educated to embrace these days of calm, it allows them to accept and embrace the days to come, the power and strength of the ovulation phase, the connection, and understanding in the second half of the cycle, the acceptance of whatever hormonal and emotional changes and challenges it brings.

Today I work and support women on their menopause journey – the bookend to puberty. I spend my time deep in the world of hormones. Hormonal fluctuations, understanding how hormones present emotionally and physically, the implications of natural hormonal changes. Part of my mission as a Menopause Coach and Women’s Hormonal Health specialist is to change the way women understand and connect with being hormonal women.

And there are three things that surprise me time and time again: 1. The lack of basic knowledge and understanding that women have about their natural hormonal changes.

2. The profound impact that hormones have on our daily lives and how we show up.

3. The power we have to create hormonal balance for ourselves with small changes to our lifestyle.

For me being an empowered, feminist, strong, and confident woman means understanding and working with my hormones and their naturally changing cycles. Our hormones make us feel certain things, show up in specific ways and impact how we respond to situations.

Sometimes it feels like our hormones are betraying us. Sometimes we wake up, and no amount of positive thinking gets us out of our bad mood. Sometimes everyone just annoys us and no amount of feeling grateful can change it. When our hormones are out of balance we do not have the resources or ability to act the way we want to, to show up the way we need to. And that can often be confusing and frustrating, sometimes forcing us to find answers and solutions in unhealthy places.

It is not all bad news though! By learning how to be proactive and improve your hormonal health and balance and getting your body to function within the delicate hormonal system, we can thrive. We can improve our health and wellbeing, feel deeply connected to our authentic selves, and learn what it means to be a truly empowered woman.

Give yourself and your daughters the ultimate feminist gift – the gift of connecting and embracing your TRUE feminine self. Allow yourself to experience every stage of your menstrual cycle, accepting what comes, knowing that it too shall pass. The minute we try to battle against it and deny it is the minute we allow ourselves to deny the very essence of who we are as women.

Jacqueline Rose www.theyogaroom120.com/

@theyogaroom120

Dr. Elaine Mele PT, PYT, FNCP Physical Therapist Yoga Therapist Functional Nutrition Provider

PERIMENOPAUSE AND YOU Navigating the Queen of all Changes Does this sound like you? The minute I hit 40 I was anticipating that next big milestone...the one whispered about in dark circles surrounding cauldrons, living room couches, and long lady lunches...the big “CHANGE”...the looming of Menopause sometime in the not too distant future. I felt a mix of trepidation and disbelief that I was coming to “that age” already. How is that possible?

As my 40s wore on I continued to be very regular in my periods, yet I was experiencing some of the symptoms I normally associated with menopause...fatigue, brain fog (worse than my usual fog 😉), irritability (again, worse than my normal irritability!), waking up at night (I am normally a VERY good sleeper) …. I had not heard of the word “Perimenopause” until I started doing some research and I found that This. Is. A. THING! Current research on Perimenopause leaves a lot to be desired since studies specific to this population are sparse and often poorly constructed with very small sample sizes.

I’ll just go ahead and say research on Women’s Health in general needs to improve but that’s a whole other discussion…

What we do know about Perimenopause is that it can start anywhere between ages 35-50 and lasts through the diagnosis of menopause. Menopause is defined as the time following 12 full months without menstruation. Menopause is actually just a moment in time, after that moment a woman is classified as “post-menopausal”.

Perimenopause is all the years, all the changes, and all the symptoms leading up to that moment. These changes can span anywhere from 6 months to 15 years!

Symptoms of Perimenopause can include any or all of the following: Irregular periods Hot flashes and sleep problems Mood changes Depression Vaginal and bladder problems, including incontinence and leakage Decreasing fertility Changes in sexual function Loss of bone Changing cholesterol levels Bloating and weight gain Hair Thinning Breast tenderness Migraines Burning tongue Joint pain and stiffness This is mostly all caused by the uneven rise and fall of estrogen during this time. Most of us know estrogen is associated with female reproduction and the menstrual cycle, but it has far more reach and implications than that. Estrogen is often labeled the “super hormone.” It is actually a group of hormones made primarily by the ovaries but is also produced in small amounts through the adrenal glands and fat cells. You can read more about estrogen and its impact on perimenopause, in the blog I wrote here. Research has shown that the hormonal changes associated with menopause and perimenopause lead to an increased risk of : Obesity Diabetes High Blood Pressure Stroke Urinary Incontinence Osteoporosis (bone loss leading to increase risk of fractures)

Sounds a bit gloomy and hopeless, doesn't it?

Unfortunately that’s the message that too many women like you and I are receiving from the media, health care providers, and even from family and friends. We have all heard “that’s just part of life”, “everyone deals with it”, and my favorite “you're being dramatic…”

I am here to tell you that women have the power to live our mid and later years in the ways we WANT to– with health, energy and vitality. We can make these our best years yet, because research also shows that we are not just passive bystanders in this process!

We can take control of our health, wellness and vitality by addressing things such as stress reduction, reducing inflammation in the body through informed food choices, developing healthy exercise habits, etc. to help manage the symptoms of menopause and the health risks asscoiated with a loss of estrogen. Results of the CARDIA study published in 2015 indicate that positive lifestyle changes made and sustained in our younger years (up through our 40s) lowers cardiovascular risk in middle age, improves quality of life, lengthens the lifespan and lowers Medicare costs for the individual in their older age. (1) www.elainemele.com elaine@elainemele.com

Perimenopause does not have to be about what we are losing, but instead, think that we are gaining a gift

Gaining a gift to literally “pause”, reflect and think about what we really want in life and how we want to live the rest of our years.

That gift becomes an opportunity and a gain to put ourselves first and make positive changes towards a healthy lifestyle.

Gaining an opportunity to make the right choices for ourselves that will benefit us for the rest of our lifetime. This way we live our midlife and later years in the way we WANT to with health, energy, and vitality.

The sooner we make positive and healthy changes, then the more profound and longer-lasting those changes become. Here are some easy steps you can take to start managing your Perimenopause symptoms. As a bonus, these tips are great for your overall health and well-being, so it’s worth trying at least one or two!

Manage. Your. Stress Levels.

This is number one on my list, but easier said than done, right? I know!! But starting anywhere is better than nowhere.

In the words of Arthur Ashe “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can”.

Cortisol is the primary hormone released during periods of stress and it is “queen” as far as the nervous system is concerned. Now, some stress, such as that induced by exercise, is good.

Prolonged stress, such as chronic lack of sleep or imbalances in work and family relationships cause the body to overproduce cortisol. When this happens, the body selectively chooses to make more cortisol at the expense of all other hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, the very hormones we are already losing! More cortisol also means more inflammation. No bueno.

Slow down. Take 5 deep breaths a few times a day. Take a 20-minute walk at lunch, listen to some favorite music, call a treasured friend and share some laughs. Start paying attention to what you really need and follow through with it. Add more “feel good” things to your day.

Start Paying Attention to Your Diet.

Eat a varied diet with adequate fiber that includes whole foods and high fiber fruits and vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, legumes, oats, and barley (I know booorrring but you can get creative...yes, you can!) Fiber helps with digestion in order to maintain homeostasis in the gut. A healthy and regular bowel movement will ensure everything that is supposed to leave the body, leaves. The digestive tract produces over 50 hormones including cortisol, dopamine, and serotonin and it plays an important role in the metabolism of estrogen. A healthy gut will assist in reducing levels of inflammation in the body which is important in managing conditions such as chronic pain, arthritis, and certain neurological disorders such as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's Disease. It's a pretty big deal, and too complex to include in just one paragraph. Diet is very individualized, so it’s best to speak with an experienced healthcare professional.

Avoid the Xenoestrogens.

Xenoestrogens are man-made, non-biodegradable compounds that mimic estrogen and are found in many everyday products such as cosmetics, plastic containers, shampoos, and soaps.

Xenoestrogens often lead to an increase in available estrogen or “estrogen dominance” which leads to many of the symptoms I described above as part of Perimenopause. Being mindful of product choices can have far-reaching effects on your health. You can get my list of xenoestrogen products to avoid here.

Exercise, But Not Too Much.

Nothing is ever black and white, is it? Current exercise recommendations for women in mid-life include a combination of aerobic activity such as walking, running, swimming, or hiking along with strength training for a total of 2 ½ hours per week.

Besides the obvious health benefits to your heart and ability to maintain a healthy weight, the exercise of both types can help manage depression and anxiety, which both tend to rise during Perimenopause. Bonus points if you exercise with a friend! Strength training helps to mitigate bone loss that also occurs during this time. High endurance activities such as marathon training can affect cortisol levels, so if this is your jam it might be a good idea to check on levels through periodic testing.

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it is something you can do today. Take one step forward toward better health. Just one action can have rippling effects. Perimenopause is a complex series of events in the body and it is unique to each woman. No two women experience it the same. However, we are all together on this journey, no matter how it looks individually. The best thing we can do is be curious, share and listen (really listen) to one another, and support each other in our good days and bad.

I am thrilled to be a part of this magazine collaboration that empowers women to have a voice in ALL areas of their life. In that spirit, I will empower you, the reader, to help guide me in choosing topics for the articles I will write this year. What would you like to hear about in the next 5 columns? Please comment with your suggestions below! This is for YOU. Speak.

Share. Support.

Dr. Elaine Mele Reference: K. Liu, M. L. Daviglus, C. M. Loria, L. A. Colangelo, B. Spring, A. C. Moller, D. M. LloydJones. Healthy Lifestyle Through Young Adulthood and the Presence of Low Cardiovascular Disease Risk Profile in Middle Age: The Coronary Artery Risk Development in (Young) Adults (CARDIA) Study. Circulation, 2012; 125 (8): 996 DOI: 10.1161/CIRCULATIONAHA.111.06061

www.elainemele.com elaine@elainemele.com

Business & Professional

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Resetting Yourself for Success: 3 Powerful Mental Shifts for the Year Ahead Iva Perez, Licensed RTTÒ Practitioner- Hypnotherapy

Whether the last two years of the pandemic have been a blessing in disguise or a mixed bag of sorts, having to make constant decisions has been part of the equation as entrepreneurial moms. Our daily lives seem to revolve around the questions: “What’s going to happen next?” and “What’s for dinner?” while trying to make decisions accordingly.

It has also meant having to make thousands of new choices on the spot and wondering whether those decisions are right or not.

This uncertainty about the long-term impact of our decisions might lead us to think we’re winging it, or worse, feeling like frauds. Therefore, as mothers and businesswomen, it can be easy to experience Imposter Syndrome and feel the insecurity and self-doubt creep in.

This triple whammy of pandemic fatigue, decision fatigue, and Imposter Syndrome is hopefully subsiding this year and a glimmer of hope seems to loom ahead.

Therefore, this is a great opportunity to do a quick mental reset to bring about the success, personal growth and happiness we actually want while knowing how to effectively call the shots regardless of what is happening outside our door .

Here are some powerful mindset tactics that we can use to our advantage to achieve our goals faster while keeping our emotional and mental wellbeing in check.

Photo by Alex Meza on Unsplash

Powerful Mindset Tactic One Let’s start with tackling pandemic fatigue. It seems like it’s the hardest one out of the three. We’ve been handling an endless number of decisions while navigating everchanging scenarios with lots of conflicting data and very little guidance. How To Thrive In a Pandemic is not on Amazon yet, unfortunately.

It’s only natural that the question at the back of everyone’s mind is When will this end?

Feeling like we have no control of what’s happening triggers feelings of overwhelm and anxiety in many of us. Especially if our thoughts fall into the realm of the 3 P’s: thinking that it’s Pervasive (there’s no escaping it); thinking that it’s Personal (I’m the only one going through this), and thinking that it is Permanent (it will never end).

So, here are three things that can help keep pandemic fatigue at bay.

Change the Narrative Fatigue, exhaustion, overwhelm- they are all stories of resistance. We feel triggered while imagining a future where everything goes wrong. Trying to calm down these negative emotions is challenging and only adds more fuel to the fire.

That’s because the shift from anxiety to calmness requires many steps along the emotional ladder. Excitement, by contrast, involves an almost identical physiological state with a slightly different story — a story that welcomes and looks forward to the future instead of dreading it. That's why excitement is so much easier to pull off than staying calm. We're no longer trying to change our basic physiology. We're just changing our story about it.

Another tactic involves accepting the negative feeling in the moment instead of feeling ashamed or frustrated by it. This will actually help you feel less anxious. Acknowledging the feeling instead of fighting it frees you up to learn how to manage it. Accepting it doesn't mean giving up, either. It means you stop spending energy berating yourself for being anxious and in a negative state and instead allows you to lean into holding space for yourself at that moment.

Pencil It In. Postpone the overwhelm and anxiety – and make a date instead. Set aside 10 minutes each day during which you can feel all these feelings and anything you want! Give yourself permission to not be okay. You’ll find that you won’t perceive the situation which triggered the initial overwhelm to be as bothersome or worrisome when you come back to it later. Our thoughts actually decay very quickly if we don’t feed them with energy or attention.

Use the Most Powerful Words Finding reasons to say thank you truly goes a long way. Gratitude is really the most powerful antidote against fear, anxiety, overwhelm, and stress. The truth is, we cannot be in a place of gratitude while being worried or anxious at the same time.

It also shifts the focus from what’s not working or how we think we’re not measuring up because at the neurochemical level, being thankful helps modulate the prefrontal cortex, which manages negative emotions.

Whether we do it through journaling or verbal expressions, when we are grateful, we are more empathetic and positive minded by nature and we’re able to dissolve negative feelings almost instantly Photo by Alex Meza on Unsplash

Powerful Mindset Tactic Two According to studies[1] the average adult makes approximately 35,000 decisions per day.

But as entrepreneurial moms, that number easily quadruples. In between the mile-long list of to-do’s, the endless chores at home, what might be happening in your business, issues with your spouse or kids, and handling finances, our daily quota of best “decision-making pixie dust” quickly runs out.

Decision fatigue was first coined by social psychologist Roy F. Baumeister, who identified it as “the emotional and mental strain resulting from a burden of choices.”

When your mental energy is depleted, you either start making bad decisions or stop making decisions altogether. Work, home front, and family are the three biggest areas where it gets depleted. Since in the past two years we have all been running on a smaller mental and emotional bandwidth, prioritizing what’s essential and non-negotiable from what isn’t is key.

A good strategy is to define what decisions have a high, long-term impact while also making as few decisions as possible throughout the day- especially those that we know are a given, like the dreaded “What’s for dinner” at 5 pm every day. Here’s what that looks like for these three areas: Business For the most part, decisions related to our business rank high in priority and have high stakes attached to them. The best approach is to make a plan that allows you to make business-related decisions either on a) need-to basis or b) preferably when your mental bandwidth is at its best_ i.e. at times when you’re rested and refreshed. This helps avoid making uninformed and costly decisions.

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stretching-theory/201809/how-many-decisions-do-we-make-each-day

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

Write down your top business decisions and priorities for the day and tackle them at the beginning of the day when your pixie dust basket is filled up. This might require a bit of detective work, but in the end, you will be able to pinpoint what nonessential decisionmaking we can cut down on and live without.

With young kids at home this might be a challenge, so having plans in motion for how you make decisions regarding your home and family will help sustain your mental bandwidth for when you need to focus on the business.

Home Front House-related decisions can rank lower in priority, meaning those decisions have lower stakes. Yes, we all want a clean house and a full fridge but deciding on whether we do laundry in the morning or evening won’t have a high impact or cost when it comes to your children’s wellbeing or your health, for example.

Automation and routines can help. Besides meal prepping, what other things can you already establish beforehand, so you don’t have to spend time thinking about them? Setting up automatic bill payments frees up a lot of time and energy. Having a meal calendar in place avoids brainstorming on the spot on what to cook that day. Even going as far as having a uniform for the week for ourselves eliminates the “what to wear?” conundrum.

In a nutshell, set up your day so that you have to make the fewest decisions possible around the house so you can truly focus on what matters.

Family As parents, we are still making the thousands of decisions we were already making prepandemic PLUS thousands of new ones we are given daily to think about. No wonder we’re mentally exhausted!

Examining your rules is key. Especially the ones regarding your children. What do rules and decision fatigue have to do with one another? Well, living with kids means that sometimes rules are meant to be broken. Or at least tested (daily by the kids) to determine how robust they are.

When we wonder “Are my children testing me?” the answer is yes.

Probably not consciously, but they do want to have confidence that someone is piloting the plane so to speak.

The caveat is that rules mean enforcement. And coming up with ways to enforce rules is tiring! The more rules we have, the more enforcing we need, so more decisions need to be made. And in no time, your pixie dust is gone.

Allowing yourself some grace about where to draw the line is also crucial. This is where taking a stand about mom's guilt comes in.

We are all doing the best we can with what we have and what we know.

Let. It. Go. If no screen time on weekdays is your non-negotiable rule, and you have to go into a full-on enforcement mode about it, then do it. And let it go.

Because many times, we do it, and then we’re secretly wondering whether we should have been more flexible or if we are being too harsh. Then we go down a rabbit hole chasing a rabbit that we will never catch.

Go over your rules, trim out the ones that you can live without, and take a stand with your non-negotiable ones. Drop the guilt when you enforce.

Rinse and repeat.

Powerful Mindset Tactic Three Does it sometimes feel like everyone seems to have it together, and you’re the only one scotch-taping your way through life? Or using double-sided tape, for that matter?

According to studies, 70% of women feel this way. That means seven of your ten best gal pals are also using glue guns to keep their life afloat.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Of course, that doesn’t make the fear and worry of Imposter Syndrome completely go away.

So why do we feel like phonies?

It tends to boil down to a deep-rooted inability to believe we’re good at what we do or that we have value. One tell-tale sign is that it’s hard to accept praise from others believing there is a hidden agenda behind other people’s compliments. It is difficult to fully believe praise towards us.

Another giveaway is we tend to go into a perfectionist streak, believing doing things perfectly will keep others from finding out we are not as good as they seem to think. But this puts us in an emotional hamster wheel waiting for the other shoe to drop and being found out. Therefore, anxiety increases along the way.

As women running our business, we might even have a praise deficit. Especially in those early stages of growing a business when we’re working solo or from home. We might not hear enough praise from others to give us a sense of whether we are doing a great job or not.

Listening to your self-talk holds clues as to how you handle praise as well as how often are you able to praise yourself. Do you deflect praise from others and play it down? When someone gives you a compliment do you automatically give one back? Perhaps you subconsciously think that if you stand out from the rest (even in a positive way), people will no longer like you or accept you.

Social acceptance is a survival mechanism dating back to our ancestors. We had to be part of the tribe to survive back in the cave days. The need to belong is deeply ingrained in all of us. However, modern life has made things even more difficult on this front.

One thing I’ve seen play out countless times as a Licensed RTT Practitioner is how we’ve been conditioned to accept a narrative that puts us at odds within ourselves intensifying feelings of Imposter Syndrome and undermining our confidence as mothers and entrepreneurs.

It’s hard to feel like we are good enough when society places paradoxical demands on us: ·We are expected to be nice and play nice, yet "nice girls" don't get ahead. ·As women, we are held to higher standards for work and professionalism yet we’re criticized if we are too good for others. ·We are expected to put a strong front professionally yet lose business due to not being relatable. ·We are expected to work like we don’t have kids and mother like we don’t work.

Trying to actually live up to these expectations already sets us up for failure. The way we can counteract this is two-fold: Nurture Your Inner Cheerleader The first thing we must do is be intentional about praising ourselves. Constantly.

Tell yourself the words you’ve been waiting to hear. This is where it pays off to be selfsufficient and give to ourselves the praise we want. We will never know a hundred percent what someone else’s intentions are when they praise us. But our minds won’t ever question our own praise.

Grab a pen and post-it notes and write “I am enough”, “I have fantastic coping skills”, “I’m a great mom to my kids”. Place them in your work area, bathroom mirror, fridge, near the laundry basket, as your screensaver_ wherever you are sure to constantly see them. These are great subliminal messages to feed your mind about your worth and value!

You do You Another mental shift is to stop the comparison game. Stop comparing your apple crumble to another woman’s tiramisu. This is how you keep tabs on your mental and emotional state.

Or as I like to tell my clients: You do You. The more we keep to our own lane, the less leeway we allow to Imposter Syndrome to creep in.

Sometimes, the feeling of not enoughness is so deep-rooted that seeking professional help is the best course of action. Just like anxiety and overwhelm, the silver lining is that Imposter Syndrome is highly treatable and the earlier you seek help, the better the outcome.

This is due to our internal beliefs creating a blueprint that conditions our mind into recreating overwhelm, anxiety and not feeling enough as familiar emotional scenarios. The good news is that we can transform and upgrade old limiting beliefs and rewire our mind with a powerful new blueprint.

Once you realise you can change your life through your beliefs, you will discover that you can remove toxic thoughts that previously prevented you from reaching your goals. Resetting our thoughts and actions and breaking patterns of negative thinking despite what might be happening outside our door is the fastest way we can bring about the results that we want in our business and in our lives.

When we are able to do this successfully, every single area of our life changes for the better. After all, we’re not only building successful businesses, but we also want to have a successful business that works around our dream life.

Iva Perez www. themomergymovement.com

@momergymovement

Be Real, Mama

“To succeed, be you. To have balance, be you. Be your real self, entirely. Right now.

Today. In everything that you do. Make time for all the things that matter to you.” – Brianna Hosack

Brianna Hosack Parenting, Productivity & Accountability Coach

As a businesswoman and a mother, your demands are many, and frequently, your supporters are few.

You are also one of the pioneers that are paving the way for a new generation of women who will TRULY be perceived as, treated as, and compensated as equal to men in the future.

Having clear priorities is, therefore, not optional.

This basically means… no ‘flying by the seat of your pants’, and really take the time to get to know what matters.

You must have clear goals, you must have a direction you are headed, you must have a purpose in what you do, and you must stick to your priorities. So how do you decide what is a priority?

You are the main support beam holding up the ceiling of your life. Without you, your family topples.

Without you, your business collapses. Without you, perhaps your community dissolves. Without you, your circle of friends may drift apart.

YOU are the keystone. This means two things: 1) YOU come first, for you, from now on. And 2) Be yourself. Be unafraid. Be unapologetically you in all that you do. The world needs you, just as you are.

“Those in bondage have no idea of freedom. As you advocate for yours, expect & prepare for resistance.” – Zo Moore Put on your own oxygen mask first and fill your own cup first. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and you were only ever meant to pour from the saucer anyway.

It will not be easy to pave the way for future generations of powerful CEO Moms. You have not chosen an easy path.

YOU are the key to your children’s success in life. And only if you can successfully raise your children and successfully run your business will you be able to create massive ripples in the world that will impact all women who desire equality and an empowered self, as well as the ripples created by your children’s impact in the world.

No one else will prioritize you; you must be unafraid to do it.

Your self-care will support your capacity for peaceful parenting.

Taking time to center and nourish yourself (emotionally and physically) first will free up your mind to focus on key money-making activities in your business when it’s time.

Picking yourself first every time will teach the next generation what truly matters and how they can achieve true balance in life. They need to see you as worthy of self-care to see yourself as worthy of self-care. If they see you distrusting and insulting yourself, they will learn to do the same. If they see you prioritizing your mental health, choosing family, and practicing kindness, they will do the same!

It is so tempting to put business first when it truly needs to come last to be in balance.

If the thought of putting your business last terrifies you, it’s time to get clear on your priorities. Why did you start your business? Or why did you get behind the cause you are a part of?

Likely, you started your business so that you could be your own person, not just ‘mom’… and so you would have the freedom to spend more time with your family… and financial freedom so that you could support the life you desire, cover your needs without stress, vacation regularly, spoil your kids a little, and give to causes you believe in… like empowering other women to do all of these things!

If that’s true for you, then go back to the last paragraph and notice this time the order in which it was written.

To achieve true balance in your life, it must be in this order: Self, family, business. Once your business is successful and supporting the life you desire, you will have the ‘time freedom’ to add in community and causes.

To release the fear of putting business last, remember the adage of Parkinson’s Law: "work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.". You want your business to expand and grow, but only to fill the time you choose for it. Time does not equal money!!

So, how do you know when you are successful enough to add in the rest? When will you be successful enough to be yourself and do these things that you want? There are so many possible measures of success.

Is success measured by wealth? What is wealth? To you, it might be $100 leftover in your account after everything is bought & paid for. For someone else, it could mean always having food to eat. Or it might be a low balance alert on your account at $10,000. It will be different for me than for you.

Is success measured by popularity? To introvert popularity might be to have 10 friends, but to a celebrity, they may feel like a failure with ‘only’ one million followers.

In truth, success equals balance. Balance looks different for everyone, because different things matter to different people.

Here’s a good example of one formula for success: free time + fun + love + needs met + helping + being a role model + always learning + overflowing creative energy…

Create your own formula and include what you need to feel balanced.

You could also just ask: ‘Am I happy and allowing all parts of my life their fair share of time in the sun?’ Answer yourself honestly and thoughtfully.

Ask yourself questions like: ·Do I have free time? ·Do I choose to take that free time? ·Am I always open to learn new things? ·Do I have money for a little fun? ·Do I choose to have that fun? ·Do I choose to spend time with loved ones? ·Do I have people in my life who love me? ·Do I have people in my life whom I love? ·Do I have all my needs met regularly? ·Am I helping others every day? ·Do I take care of my body? ·Am I consistently learning and improving myself? ·Am I someone my children can look up to? ·If I become wildly popular, am I embodying what I’d like all those followers to emulate, i.e., am I a good role model? ·If I become wildly wealthy, do I have dreams for how that wealth could impact the world? ·What are my ultimate goals in life for myself? ·What are my ultimate goals in life for my children? ·What are my ultimate goals in life for my whole family? ·What are my ultimate goals in business? ·What are my ultimate goals for my local community (if any)? ·What are my ultimate goals for the larger community, or for the world (if any)? ·What will my life look like if, and when I achieve those goals? ·How can I choose to live my life in the embodiment of those goals? ·What is the first, tiny step towards each of those ultimate goals?

To succeed, be you. To have balance, be you.

Be your real self, entirely. Right now. Today. In everything that you do. Make time for all the things that matter to you. Then you’re already there; already successful. And it relieves the pressure so that you get to just grow and expand your success.

If you are truly just being yourself, in every choice you make and in each action you take, you WILL have the balance you desire, simply because you desire it. You were endowed with exactly what you need to succeed, from birth.

Your desires will naturally flow in the direction needed to fulfill them if you are true to yourself.

Just. Be. Yourself. Fully. All the rest will follow

Brianna Hosack www.thecalminspiredmama.com

@TheCalm-InspiredMama

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Female Sexuality

Let’s get Acquainted with our Body!

Welcome to your women’s sexuality section!

Julie Demers

Holistic Pelvic Floor Therapist My name is Julie Demers and I will be your host for the next year!

Today I want us to get acquainted……together but also with our body.

To have a fulfilled sex life, you need to be comfortable with certain parts of your body and today I will introduce you to the pelvic floor! The pelvic floor is responsible for orgasm, it should not be overlooked! (And you’ll have an exercise to help enhance sensations too!)

First, let me introduce myself! I am a holistic pelvic floor therapist. In the past 11 years, I have helped hundreds of women with pelvic floor symptoms.

Those symptoms could be: Difficulty reaching orgasm, Pain with sex, Urine leaks when you sneeze or cough, Having to run to the bathroom and difficulty to hold, The sensation that your body is falling out, Back pain, Hip pain Yes, the pelvic floor can be responsible for all those symptoms and I help women regain control so that they can claim their body back, and have better confidence in any activity they undertake.

Now is the time to get acquainted with your pelvic floor and connect with it! It’s a part of our body that isn’t discussed much for different reasons, but it doesn’t make it less important!

If you’d like to see what and where is the pelvic floor you can watch a video where I show you the anatomy of the pelvic floor: https://www.juliedemers.com/pelvicfloor What does it do?

It is responsible for orgasm.

It is part of the support system for the pelvic organs like the bladder, the uterus, and the rectum.

It helps hold our posture.

It is responsible for continence. Preventing leaks when you are not ready to pee, and relaxing when you are ready!

These muscles are the floor of your pelvic, they are sometimes called the Kegels muscles. Dr. Kegel invented the first set of exercises for the pelvic floor in the 18th century, but we now know that the pelvic floor has 3 layers and needs different types of exercises!

The pelvic floor is also very important in Eastern medicine it is related to the root and sacral chakras and is also very important in Mula bandhas in yoga.

Let’s create the connection with our pelvic floor…and have fun with it too!

With the following technique, you will be able to connect to your pelvic floor, help you be present with your body sensations, and might even awaken your mood for sexuality.

Breathing circle: Your pelvic floor moves with every breath you take and we will take advantage of that in this exercise.

Your pelvic floor moves with every breath you take and we will take advantage of that in this exercise.

You can imagine your breath moving inside your body for better visualization.

Breathe in and imagine the breath moving downwards in the front of your body and then back toward the tail bone at the base of your spine. During this movement, your pelvic floor relaxes.

Breathe out, and imagine the breath moving back up the back of your body, to the top of your head while your pelvic floor contracts and lifts.

This completes one circle of movement.

You can start with a slower pace, but you can increase the rate of breaths per minute while focusing on your pelvic floor.

You can repeat as many times as you feel comfortable.

Did you try it? Did you feel your pelvic floor? Send me an email with “Breath” in the subject line and let me know! I will send you a bonus exercise!

If you want to know more about the breath and the pelvic floor, you can watch this video where I show you the connection between the 2. https://www.juliedemers.com/breath I hope this article gave you a glimpse of the power your pelvic floor holds!

In the next year we will talk about how it changes throughout stages of life, and we’ll discuss how having more control down there will make you feel sexier and more confident in all aspects of your life.

Until then, connect and have fun!

Love, Julie

Julie Demers Holistic Pelvic Floor Therapist https://www.juliedemers.com email: julie@juliedemers.com

"Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness."

-Frank Tyger

Emotional Health

page 48

Valerie Ripperger www.hopewellnesscenters.com

Unlock Your Fullest Potential

Chelsea Olson Stress Reduction Coach

Everyone is a Leader- but not everyone embraces their personal leadership.

As a business owner, personal leadership is often overlooked as we strive to build our client list, our income, our network… but what happens when we face our first difficult decision, and our personal leadership has NOT been cultivated?

We spin into self-doubt, insecurity, fear, confusion, and sleepless nights.

Being a leader means doing the right thing even when it’s difficult. But how do we know what the “right” thing is? Is it what our parents told us? Is it what our community says it is? Is it what religious texts say it is?

To date, these have been our sources for inner guidance. All it takes is looking at our current political climate, environmental climate, and the mental health crisis to say: “This isn’t working anymore.”

Because leadership curated on external guidance, only builds the external layers to the pillar of leadership, leaving the inside hollow. Hollow leadership will fall and crumble under the weight of that which it holds. The more you build, the more stressed you become.

So how do we bridge the gap? How do we build a business and a life that we wake up inspired every day to live? How do we generate more income AND impact? How do we cultivate embodied leadership?

The answer: strengthen your own inner guidance system or intuition.

Breaking away from the collective compass, and charting our own path as to what we believe is right, often comes with social consequences and a test of personal commitment and courage.

It is at this stage in which our spiritual fervor and emotional endurance is put to the test.

It is at this stage in which many turn back and coast in the collective compass.

In doing so, we’re right back where we started: Burnt Out. Self-Doubt.

Confusion.

Anxiety.

Sleepless Nights.

Everyone is a leader, but if you’re reading this right now- you were born for this role! You were born to carry the torch and show others the way of what an abundant life is meant to be! You were born to serve as a guide in shaping a world that benefits seven generations to come.

But the time for hollow leadership is over.

The time for Leadership Embodied has arrived.

We are calling you in to join us.

Leadership Embodied is built not from the outside in, but the inside out. A leader embodied can see what is possible for our planet, for humanity, for our businesses. A leader embodied is committed to service, and putting their efforts into life-generating behaviors, movements, and products. A leader embodied is in service to the latent potential and untended beauty resting in the core of our bones, the breath of the wind, the crackle of fire, and the golden warmth of inspired action.

It is time for you to BECOME a leader embodied, so you can carry the torch and show the way for others, and most importantly yourself.

It’s time to create a world of beauty from the inside out! And It begins with you.

When you notice yourself falling into the symptoms of hollow leadership: anxiety, confusion, self-doubt, insecurity, scarcity, fear… Return to the four pillars of Leadership Embodied: 1. Courage: Having the willingness to explore the unknown with unwavering focus and bravery for the sake of a better tomorrow.

2. Grace: Embodying the fluidity, trust, and surrender that allows us to receive, and endure with ease.

3. Clarity: Knowing where you’re going and why.

4. Service: Knowing who and what you serve.

Life-giving, and life receiving.

It’s not enough to reflect on them, affirm them, and visualize them. We have to BECOME them.

Here are some techniques to become, or embody, the four pillars of leadership.

Courage: Stand in a superhero pose. Close your eyes, and imagine you’re doing something that scares you. Stand strong in your posture and breath, and say with pride: “I believe in myself!” Do this for 1-2 minutes, and notice how you feel in your body and sense of self-esteem after.

Grace: Relax your jaw, fingertips, and genitals.

I know it may sound funny, but I’m serious.

These are three hot spots for chronic tension to store themselves unknowingly creating rigidity in the body, mind, heart, and intuition.

Clarity : Focus your gaze, eyes open, for an extended period of time. Blink if you need, but let the vision of your focal point sharpen, and the periphery soften. Keep the forehead soft and a soft smile throughout. To add challenge, do this while in a balancing pose.

Service : Start saying ‘Thank You' to all that generates life! Say this out loud when you fill your glass with water, your belly with food, your breath with oxygen, and the trees that make that possible.

Say ‘Thank You’ to your loved ones, your teachers, your enemies, and for the chance to live another day. Start to become familiar with the way ‘Thank You” feels in your body.

If you find yourself overwhelmed, come back to these four pillars and ask yourself, “Which of these do I need to grow into, to become my most joyful, successful, and vibrant Self?”

THIS is the next step to stabilizing your emotions, empowering your heart, steadying the mind, and strengthening the body. THIS is the next step to fortifying your business.

Your dreams were given to you for a reason! It is time to empower these visions into realityfrom a place of unwavering and loving commitment. From a place that generates life, is in service, and tends beauty all along way: including yourself. It’s time to create not from a hollow emptiness, but from a fully integrated way of life. It’s time to become your own leader embodied.

Chelsea Olson www.chelsea-olson.com

Women Empowerment

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I

A M

U N S T O P P A B L E

Regina Robinson International Speaker, Publisher, Author & Inner Confidence Strategist

Sister despite all you are going through in this season prayer still works. The power of prayer is your access. As women our clarion of moving from a space of being broken to unbreakable is our willingness to honor and stand on the shoulders of women who have come before us. While women are often seen as having the superpower to triumph over anything, it often leaves us struggling in silence.

To every woman reading this right now who is doubting if you are enough, struggling with your yesterday, afraid of your tomorrow, I want to remind you that you are more than enough. Every thing you stand in need of is on the inside of you if you are willing to dig deep and discover all God has in store for you. I will prove it to you as we dig deep into the lives of twelve women from the Bible who through Prayer+Praise+Purpose created a blueprint for you to win…

Like the woman with the issue of blood who bled for twelve years; because, she was willing to believe (Faith) one touch from God made her whole. Sister, this is your season for a touch.

Like Leah all too often we are looking outside for the greatness that is already on the inside of us. Sister, it’s your season to walk in your true greatness.

Like Rachel too many times we look to man to satisfy what only God has the power to do.

Sister, if you are willing to hold on to God’s unchanging hand, He will fulfill his promises.

Like Rhoda, you must wake up daily in expectation of God’s knock. Sister, this is your season to open and receive all God has in store for you. Will you answer His knock? I promise what God has on the other side of the door is far greater than what you can imagine.

HLike Huldah, women have been the backbone of the church for centuries. Women have forever been God’s spokesperson. Sister, this is your season to answer the call and speak up with a mighty roar about how great God has been to you. This is your season to declare it, believe it, and take action on it!

Like the unnamed woman, are you willing to ignore the naysayers so you can sit at the feet of Jesus? Remember they were not there the night Jesus found you they did not feel what you felt when He wrapped His loving arms around you. They don’t know the cost of your oil.

Like the Samaritan woman you don’t have to hide when God comes to see about you.

Sister, God knows and He sees all, remember He is willing to come see about you. And when He does you will never thirst again.

Like Lydia the successful businesswoman, she realized her faith in God was the bridge to her success. Sister, remember your life, career, business, and/or marriage is only as strong as the foundation it is built on. When you put God first everything else will fall in place.

Like Esther, are you willing to speak up when everyone else remains silent? Sister, it’s ok to stand out and not conform to the norm. The world is waiting for you to make a mighty roar that will shake up the lives of those called to you. You are a History Maker!

Like Rahab, she was willing to make the sacrifice so that her life and her family would be spared. Sister, for centuries women, has been the matriarchs of their families and today is no different. Continue working even if no one sees you. Remember God sees you!

Like Ruth, it is your purpose that God wants you to focus on. Sister, while you are working God is preparing and positioning you to be found. Be patient in your wait.

Like Eve, most look at her for what she did forgetting that God still answered her prayers. Sister, just because you made mistakes remember God still answers prayers.

Sister, this is your season to suit up in your armor and become the Unstoppable Woman God has destined for you to be.

As an unstoppable woman of faith, I will continue to walk in my purpose and fight for the women who are assigned to my life. ·To the single mom who is feeling like giving up – Sister, keep pushing God sees all that you are doing – you are appreciated! ·To the abused woman who is ashamed of the scars she bears, that no one else sees – Sister, you scars are a testament that you made it through. ·To the woman who believes she is not good enough because of her past – Sister, your past is the very thing God is going to use to bless others.

To the woman who doubts that she is equipped to walk in her purpose – Sister, if God called you He has already equipped you with everything you stand in need of. ·To the woman who believes she is at her capacity when really she is just getting started – Sister, this is your season to boldly show up for you.

To the woman who believes she has to dim her lights so that she doesn’t outshine another woman – Sister, I encourage you to shine bright like the diamond that you are.

To the woman who mutes her voice because someone said she was too loud – Sister, this is your season to sound the alarm and share what God has deposited down on the inside of you. Your voice is needed! ·To the woman who is tired of always having to be strong – Sister, it’s okay to ask for help. ·To the woman who is hiding behind the mask because she’s ashamed of what it will reveal – Sister, God can’t heal what you are unwilling to reveal. Sister, remove the mask and show up unapologetically as you.

Sister, giving up is not an option. God sees, hears, and loves you! This is your season to be Free, Whole, Healed, Unapologetic and most importantly become the Unstoppable Woman God has destined for you to be.

Sister, You are victorious!

Sister, You are a Winner!

Sister, You Are Enough!

Sister, You are Unstoppable!

Regina Robinson www.reginarobinsonspeaks.com

Self-Worth is Essential for Empowerment.

Audrey Lingg Life Engineer Mentor

Women empowerment can be defined as promoting a woman's sense of self-worth, her ability to determine her own choices, and her right to influence social change for herself and others. …

Self-worth is recognizing ‘I am greater than all of these things (what we think, feel, and believe about ourselves).’

‘It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth.’

Self-worth is at the core of empowerment. When we know our value and align ourselves to our own self-worth this allows us to take actionable steps that nurture and grow that worth. This is how we step into our purpose and our life, and what determines how we perceive our worthiness as human beings. We can also say that a strong sense of self-worth is distinctly responsible for the decisions we make, the relationships we cultivate, and the life path we choose. In other words, if you don’t value yourself, thoughts of aggressive self-criticism and deprecating self-image will happen.

Our self-value is the action that keeps us aligned with that self-worth. Self-value can also be thought of as a part of the whole of self-worth. As Stonsy (2014) states, “self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself than how you feel about yourself compared to others.” When we are able to learn to value ourselves, it not only aids in helping us nurture our self-worth but also we are strong enough to extend that energy out into our communities.

Here are 5 Ways to help improve your self-value and overall self-worth Inner self-talk

That loud inner voice, you hear it and it isn't always kind. It interrupts when we have ideas and projects to get done, it often stops us from taking that leap of faith or from even believing in ourselves. When left unchecked, this internal voice can ruin our self-worth.

The first good step is to acknowledge this voice, thank it for its opinion and tell it you got this. Stop living your life with this voice on autopilot, letting it be the dictator of your life. When you pause and acknowledge that this voice is calling the shots, you learn to take back your power and value.

Comparison

You are a unique human being and there is nobody in this world like you. Comparing ourselves to others can have a detrimental impact on our sense of self-value and overall mental health.

It doesn't matter what other people are doing, what they think of you, or what they have accomplished. Your personal sense of self-value is far more important to maintain and nurture. When we stop comparing ourselves to others we can begin to focus on our own unique path, goals, and what we personally value in life.

Be grateful

Keep a gratitude journal. One way to value yourself more is to be grateful for everything you do and write it down.

It’s easy to be critical and wish we had done better, but we’re always doing the best that we can. Keep that up and celebrate the small stuff that elevates your self-worth.

Forgive yourself

When people hurt you, practice forgiveness. When things don’t go as planned, practice forgiveness. Holding grudges, whether from others or yourself, is like intentionally plaguing yourself with a burden that you don’t need to carry.

Forgiveness helps you more than it helps the person you forgive. It’s worth implementing it into our everyday life.

Boundaries Sometimes it may feel uncomfortable setting boundaries, feeling like it is mean or selfish (that is untrue, it is not!). You are doing yourself a disservice if you are not establishing clear and respectful boundaries in your life. This can often lead to a pattern of neglecting yourself in order to accommodate others or tolerating disrespectful or harmful behavior.

Having a strong sense of self-value combined with secure boundaries shows that you respect yourself and that you expect the same respect from others.

Receive compliment

We don’t often believe we’re worthy of the compliment! We don’t often see ourselves in the same way others see us. So, try this the next time someone says something nice about you, believe them, and receive their words as truths.

Self-worth represents our core being and who we are at the center of our humanness. The actionable steps we take to align ourselves with that worth are the definition and purpose of self-value.

Are these steps complex and time-consuming?

Thankfully, they’re not, and learning to value yourself requires a slight shift in perspective on how you show up in your life. These small yet potent changes will make all the difference for yourself and the greater good.

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection – Buddha

Audrey Lingg https://empowered-livingacademy.business.site

Coaching & Lifestyle

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h g u o n E e r A u Yo

Kleine Achiles Life Coach

How much do you actually believe that you're enough, worthy, and valuable, just by being you?

We’re socialized from a young age that we have to do more, have more, give more, achieve more, in order to be valuable, to be worthy, to be deserving.

That we should always be “fixing” and “improving” ourselves.

This comes from basic survival instinct…this concept of sitting around and “doing nothing” will get you eaten by predators.

How does this show up in modern day North America?

Working 50-60 hour weeks, not setting work and home life boundaries, feeling like I had to prove that I could handle it all.

Definitely no regular self-care practice.

I'd exercise for hours in the gym, believing my body had to look a certain shape and size for people to like me.

I'd worry when my man would hang out with his friends without me, wondering if his friends approved of me, and what I should do to get them to like me.

I would go to the mall and buy a new clothing item every weekend.

When you believe in the lie that you are not enough, doing more, having more, giving more, achieving more, will never be enough.

BUT YOU ARE ALREADY WHOLE, ENOUGH, VALUABLE, AND WORTHY FOR SIMPLY EXISTING. BECAUSE YOU ARE. When you trust that and believe in that, you will naturally be more confident and assertive, trusting that what you say is valuable, even if the other person doesn’t necessarily agree with you.

You’ll care less about other people’s opinions about you and not be swayed so easily by what they say.

You’ll stop trying to impress others and know that just by walking into a room and being yourself, people will be impressed by you.

You’ll do fewer things out of obligation, say “no” when you really mean “no”, and say “yes” more often to the things you want and enjoy.

You will actually be present and enjoy time with your partner and kid(s) instead of thinking about your to-do list for home and work.

When you believe that you are whole, worthy, valuable, and enough for just being you, life becomes less stressful, more joyful, and fulfilling.

Kleine Achiles @kleineachiles_coaching

Family & Relationship

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Are You Ready To Be A Stepparent?

Maria Natapov Stepparenting Coach & Strategist

When I first started my stepparenting journey, I definitely wasn’t ready! At least I didn’t feel like I was. I took lots of time to think about it and came up with many good reasons for not having children.

Many of my “reasons” came down to fear.

Fear of uncertainty. Fear of the tremendous responsibility. Wondering …

Do I have what it takes to do this?

Am I good enough?

Can I raise a healthy and well-adjusted child?

When I started dating my partner, I was honest with him from the beginning. I shared these good reasons with him presenting solid evidence and logic. Then sat there with an I-rest-my-case expression on my face.

He looked at me earnestly, smiled … and said, “because you know what you didn’t like from your childhood experiences and you what not to do, is exactly why you’ll be a great parent.”

It took me a few weeks to sit with his words and take them in. As I reflected on it more, I realized that he was right. Eventually, his words gave me the confidence and courage to move forward on this journey.

It was a long and difficult road with many ups, plummets, twists, break-your-neck turns and hurdles.

But it’s been an incredible experience of growth, love, connection, patience, strength, and meeting my edge in ways I could have never imagined. Being on this adventure for almost a decade, I’ve had to learn to navigate many hardships on my own.

If you’re considering jumping on this bandwagon and are at the beginning of your journey, here’s some advice I wish I had when I was starting mine …

1. Consider Safety

Safety is at the top of the list. Some questions to ask yourself …

Do you feel physically and emotionally safe?

Are your physical and emotional needs being met?

If you have a child …

Do they feel physically and emotionally safe?

Are their physical and emotional needs being met?

2. Quality Time

For most parents after going through a divorce, the bonds with their kids strengthen even more because the kids often become partners in several decisions that they might not have weighed in on when the parents were still together.

Often those bonds are largely what gets both the parent and children through the messy and painful business of the divorce.

So, having a quality time alone with their parent without the stepparent is critical for children. It’s a small way to keep some consistency from before the stepparent entered the picture. It’s an opportunity for the child to speak candidly to their parent about everything that’s going on for them and to feel like they have their own relationship with that parent who’s been there from the beginning through it all.

As a stepparent, you have to be okay with this and not take it personally. Because children look to their parents as the number one source of comfort. They rely on their parents to help them process their feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Especially during difficult and all-encompassing transitions – like divorce and blending a new family.

It’s just as important for the stepparent and their partner to have date nights without the kids to nurture their relationship as well.

And it’s equally important for the stepparent to find opportunities for one-on-one quality time with their stepchild.

Communication usually opens up and flows in one-on-one interactions. This could be in the form of doing a chore around the house together, working on a project together, or doing a favorite activity together – like playing a sport.

3. Discipline Remember, this is a difficult and sensitive situation you’re walking into. Kids often have strong feelings about the divorce of their parents well after that divorce is over. And since kids have far less experience navigating challenging and complex situations, it may take them longer to fully process their feelings about it.

Not to mention the physiological bonds that they have to their biological parents. So when you’re a stepparent coming into this new dynamic, take your time getting to know the players and the rules. Watch the dynamics from the sidelines, let things play out a bit. Then take time reflecting on things.

Try your best to understand where everyone is coming from, but also share your thoughts and feelings. Create a safe space to discuss. Discuss things with your partner first, and do so one on one without the children present.

As you build a relationship with the children you can explore things with them as well. Be sure to come at all conversations from a lens of curiosity and don’t assume how they think or feel, but rather ask them. By doing so you will not only be building a connected relationship, but you’ll be teaching them the valuable skill of reflecting and tuning into their emotions and thoughts.

Leave the disciplining to their parents, and as time goes on and your build the relationships with your partner and the children, you’ll be able to explore the possibility of growing your role. Allow that growth to happen naturally and organically. Whatever you do, don’t force it! That will only bring out their defenses and create resistance and resentment.

4. Co-Parenting There will be conversations and situations when your partner will have to discuss, meet with, or even spend time with their expartner, your stepchild’s other parent. This is necessary and the way it is. It’s important that you understand and respect it.

It’s important that you not get jealous about it. Usually, jealousy is about your own insecurity. Work through the emotions and prepare yourself for these situations to occur. Try these steps…

1. Processed your own emotions looking thoroughly at your behavior.

2. Is there truly cause for concern?

3. If after doing steps 1 and 2 you feel like a conversation needs to happen with your partner – talk to them.

But be prepared to be open to what they have to say and really hear and understand their perspective. If you find yourself getting upset by your own emotions, better to take a break and return to the conversation later when you’ve calmed down and are ready to hear each other again.

5. Giving Up Control No matter how strongly you feel about your stepchild, the bottom line to get used to is giving up control because you are not the final decision-maker when it comes to them.

You can be a source of love, wisdom, caring, and support. But the bottom line is that is not your child. And their parents have the final say.

Prepare yourself to navigate a lot of unknowns and be able to flow with them by letting go of outcomes. Try these 5 things …

1)Do your best 2)Have patience with yourself and your new lovable clan 3)Show yourself plenty of grace 4)Make sure to lean on your support system 5)Practice self-care regularly and often I invite you to give this a try and see for yourself the impact it’s going to have on you and your blended family.

Through showing up, staying grounded, and being responsive to the needs that arise during these interactions, you are earning your place in your blended family.

The rewards are well worth it!

Maria Natapov www.Synergistic Stepparenting .com

T H E

# 1

C A U S E

O F

D I V O R C E

’

isn t finances or communication anymore; Nicole Mason,

it is wives doing too much

Relationship Coach + RTT Practitioner

Doing too much is how women have learned how to excel in the workplace, but it’s hurting their home life.

Every woman starts their relationship wanting to be a good partner, a good wife. Our mothers and grandmothers modeled a different version of what’s required for today’s women to be a ‘good wife.’

Good wives haven’t always equaled happy wives. But, being a happy wife is the only way to be a good wife today.

Confusing, right?

Real talk: Social norms and your conditioning isn’t designed to make you a happy wife…

Think about it.

Unload the dishes! Fold the clothes! Pick up the kids! Cook the dinner!

A little list of things to check off in the quest to be supermom and superwife…except you’re checking off the wrong things to actually have the titles of supermom and superwife. These things will actually garner you the titles of impatient mom, tired mom, and stressed mom.

Instead of appreciating all the work you do, your family acts like it’s just expected. They don’t even see everything you do. Which makes you feel invisible and resentful. And with good reason!

Instead of helping, they make it harder! So much so, that when your husband’s out of town, you’re secretly relieved because things feel so much easier.

Time for a little dose of truth from your favorite divorce lawyer turned relationship coach…

All those things on your To-Do List: You’re doing those things for YOU. Nobody’s grateful - because nobody actually asked you to do it all.

And, even worse, your resentment from doing it all and no one appreciating it is actually hurting you AND the people you love.

I know you think you have to do these things; your brain even tells you all these things need to be done on a set, regular schedule. But, your brain really only wants one thing: security and to keep you safe. Safe to your brain means “not changing anything.”

You probably saw your mom and grandma doing all the things – having dinner ready every night at 6, ironing clothes, doting on your kids. If you didn’t see it at home, you definitely saw it on sitcoms every night in your home. And, often still do.

Somewhere along the line, when women joined the workforce, we never thought to formally delegate all the operational parts of running a household. We’ve delegated dinner to fast food restaurants and parts of chores, like putting dishes away, to our children. Maybe, we’ve even hired a cleaning company to clean our houses…but we also make sure the house is picked up before the cleaning people come – to clean.

Women make their daily lives so much harder on themselves because you worry that showing your true vulnerability will make you seem weak and you’ll be rejected somehow.

Or, that you’re asking for too much…too many things that you don’t even deserve in the first place.

This brings up the age-old fear - whether you’re good enough… a ‘good enough mom, a ‘good enough’ wife, ‘good enough at your job, on and on.

Which only makes you feel more unappreciated, frustrated, and tired. And, it makes you lose your shit (can replace with temper, if shit is not allowed!)…often on the daily It’s time to end the madness.

Carrying the mental load for your family is not something you have to do; it’s not even something you need to do. It’s something you want to do. You’re keeping all the information – the wifi password, the vacation plans, the dog’s vet appointments – because it makes you feel needed and important. Until it comes to actually have to DO all of these things, anyway. By then, you feel exhausted, annoyed, and disappointed this is all you seem to be good for.

Being responsible for the planning and execution of all the things to run your household is not something you actually need to do. Just like, asking for help isn’t something you want to do.

I know what you ACTUALLY want and need, not only to make your household run smoothly but also to make you be superwife and supermom – by doing LESS. It’s time to break the cycle of overwhelm and actually start showing up as the wife+mom you thought you’d be before you actually had kids and life got stressful.

The fear of not being enough is where we start. These beliefs that you have to do it all or can’t receive help stem from a false belief that you are inherently flawed and must prove your worth to your husband, your children, even yourself.

Your subconscious is protecting you from not being needed. Your brain believes that if you’re needed, you’re important. And, if you’re important, no one will ever leave you.

@kleineachiles_coaching

Newsflash: you’re more likely to get a divorce from the impatience and resentment from doing everything than you are if you barely did anything on your To-Do List.

I know it’s a hard truth. And, you might even think I’m wrong. You’ve learned this through years of conditioning – both in your own family and on television. But, it’s also the highest underlying cause of divorce I saw as a divorce attorney.

It would often be reframed as a lack of communication, inability to trust, or even a financial issue that couldn’t be overcome. But, when I’d dig deeper, it always ended up being the wife doing too much and letting the resentment simmer until it boils over because of a dish left in the sink, another sick day from school, or a sock that justttt missed the hamper, again.

It’s your subconscious mind’s fault The reason you can’t just calmly, respectfully ask for help when you need it – in a way your husband can hear it and makes him want to help you is because you’ve been trained to keep it all inside. You’ve seen women carrying to load of the household your entire life. What you didn’t see is the internal struggles they had. What you don’t realize is that life is much more demanding as a two-income household in 2022 than it was in 1985.

There are more sports practices and clubs, there are more networking events for both your husband and you, there are expectations to throw Instagram-worthy birthday parties for your dog, all while keeping your children safe online, keeping your house immaculate, and working 40+ hours a week.

Your subconscious mind – that part of your brain that has been trained through tv and movies – is in charge of 97% of your daily habits and actions. It was fully intact and locked in the beliefs and assumptions you were making at 8 years old, and we don’t usually put much effort into changing them after that point. This means, your mind is filled with outdated, irrelevant beliefs and a bunch of misunderstood assumptions. This also means you’re essentially making an 8-yearold responsible for your marriage and home life.

When you’re doing something you don’t want to do, but feel obligated to do, for whatever reason, it’s because your subconscious is running the show. You may be triggering a belief from your childhood: -You aren’t good enough so you have to work hard -You can’t trust people to stick around, so you make their lives easier to keep them around -There aren’t any reliable people, so you have to do everything yourself Even though these are deep-seated beliefs that you’ve probably had for 20+ years, there’s a simple system of healing that creates a feeling of internal security you could never imagine that sets you up for success in all areas of your life.

An easy way to start that is getting your mind used to making small moves. Want to delegate a chore to someone in your house? First, decide which chore you don’t want to be responsible for.

Then, communicate that to the people in your home. Tell them all in a kind and respectful manner. It doesn’t need to be a long conversation; it can be a short, genuine request. Tune into any resistance you feel as it gets closer to tell them what you want and need. Where is it coming from? Did you have a similar experience not go well? Once you pinpoint why you’re feeling uncomfortable, you can decide you don’t have to feel that way when asking for help – tell yourself why that feeling doesn’t make sense anymore and let it go.

Tell the people in your home what you’d like them to help you with – give them reasonable expectations, like you are now responsible for the trash, this involves paying attention to the trash cans and emptying them when they get full. Every week, all the trash in the house needs to be taken out to the trash can on Sunday night, the trash can needs to be pulled to the end of the driveway every Sunday night so it is there for trash pick-up early Monday morning, and when you get home on Monday, the trash can needs pulled back up and put away.

And, then the hard part: let them do it.

Do not remind them. Do not help them by emptying the trash Sunday afternoon because you’re cleaning the kitchen and want it emptied before sitting down to unwind before the week starts. Even if the trash can is overflowing, leave it. It is not yours to hold anymore.

You may find it is annoying and frustrating that others don’t do things the exact way you want them done, and that’s okay.

There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. But, it does make your life harder than it has to be. The more you accept that, process it, and allow people to complete tasks in their own way, the faster you will become the supermom and superwife.

Being a good wife is simple once your subconscious is on board.

Relationships are easy – we, as women, overcomplicate them because we’re subconsciously repelling help.

Your mind is telling you to keep it to yourself. That you’re asking for too much.

Or the opposite, that it’s everyone else’s responsibility but they don’t care about it, which means they don’t care about you.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way. You don’t need to do everything; you just need to do enough of the right things – the things that really matter.

Don’t assume your instincts can be trusted to know what the right things are. Your subconscious mind is always trying to keep things the same. It’s your job to convince your 8-year-old subconscious brain that growing and changing – and giving someone else trash responsibilities – is safe to do and does not have to be done perfectly. At least, not if you want to have a long-lasting loving, and happy marriage.

Nicole Mason nicole@relationshiptransformation.com

Healing with Energy

page |81

Your True Essence Heal your past. Create your future Mor Yelvington Energy Healer / Relationship Coach

Have you ever thought about what life would be like if you could just be yourself? Say what you want, wear what you want, eat what you want?

What would life look like if you smiled more, had more joyful moments?

How would your life be if you were more consciously connected to your body on a whole other level?

When I was younger I was traumatized by my parent's divorce, and then my father’s death.

When I became a teenager I acted out by dating guys who were bad influences, and I even went through some abusive situations.

These experiences were so painful, it felt like I left my body and was completely disconnected from who I was. I forgot my true essence.

When you are disconnected from your true essence you might experience the following: Body aches and pains Depression Anxiety Insomnia Low labido

You may have a hard time finding loving & supportive relationships. You may have trouble committing and following through with your own plans and ideas.

At times, you may feel like you are living someone else's life and may even question how you arrived at where you are now.

When we are living from a place of trauma we operate on autopilot. At times we may push ourselves to the point of “cutting” parts of ourselves off to fit and fill other people's needs.

Sometimes even when we are surrounded by others we feel empty and alone.

You may have a hard time finding loving & supportive relationships. You may have trouble committing and Does it seem like you've “tried everything in the book” yet you following through with your own plans and ideas. still seem to feel lost, misunderstood and disconnected?

This is the universe and your body's way of letting you know something is up, and what I've realized doing energy work for the last 17 years is that these situations are going to keep happening until you do something different. Until you're ready to change those patterns.

You see, your purpose on this planet is to be YOU, only YOU and nothing but YOU. When you realize the gift that you are, you'll start choosing to create the life you desire and start healing those past traumas so you can reconnect to your body again and start healing.

On my healing journey, I've let go of my self-judgments, my grudges, and my pain.

I've also healed my broken heart, found my soulmate, and I've been doing the same for women around the world for the past 17 years.

We all have our own healing journey to go on and that journey will lead to the life we would like to create.

You're not alone.

One of the greatest tools I can offer you to start shifting the energy and changing the situations you feel stuck in, is the awareness to start asking questions:

“What is this?”

What can I do with this?”

“Can I change this?”

“I wonder what life would look like if..”

Start playing with these questions and ask yourself “What would (your name) do in this situation?”

I invite you to start exploring the endless possibilities that you and your body can have when you are connected to your true essence.

Mor Yelvington www.morphhealing.com/

@morph_healing

There will always be someone who doubts you, just make sure that person is not you.

What does BEmpower Women do?

BEmpower Women was created in 2016, with the intention of contributing to the well-being of women, empowering them in different facets of their lives, including the professional/business part.

BEmpower Women is a Family Secret Helpers, Inc. project that aims to empower and inspire women around the world. Helping women to understand that loving and taking care of themselves is not a selfish act, but an act of self-love. We motivate the woman, mother, wife, professional. We focus on helping and motivating women who are or have been victims. We fight for women's rights. We make it our priority to empower women around the world, having allies in different countries (we speak English and Spanish). Inspire women to turn their ideas and passion into a reality, establish successful businesses and live the life they have always dreamed of.

Our Services

Our Focus -

Support Victims Women's Right Women Empowerment Self-Love

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Others -

Podcast Talk Show Magazine Book Master Class Talks & Seminars @BEmpowerWomen

@bempower_women

BEmpower Women, The Talk Show

Business Coaching Life Coaching Transformation Coaching Contextual Therapies Self Care & Love Mindset Burnout

BE mpower THE MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN April - May 2022

April

n o i t i d E & May

Thank you for the support in this edition.

We are already working to bring you even more in the next edition.

If you want to promote your business or be our Guest Columnist, write to bempowerwomen@gmail.com Remember that you can listen to us on the podcast "BEmpower Women, The Talk Show"